[MajestyJo]

IF YOU LOVE ME, LET ME FALL

IF you love me let me fall all by myself. Don't try to spread
a net out to catch me, don't throw a pillow under my a$$
to cushion the pain so I don't have to feel it, don't stand in
the place I am going to land so that you can break the fall,
(allowing yourself to get hurt instead of me)

Let me fall as far down as my addiction is going to take me,
let me walk the valley alone all by myself, let me reach the
bottom of the pit. Trust that there is a bottom there somewhere
even if you can't see it. The sooner you stop saving me from
myself, stop rescuing me, trying to fix my broken-ness, trying to
understand me to a fault, enabling me. The sooner you allow
me to feel the loss and consequences, the burden of my
addiction on my shoulders and not yours....the sooner I will
arrive....and on time....just right where I need to be...me, alone
all by myself in the rubble of the lifestyle I lead...resist the urge
to pull me out because that will only put me back at square one.

It I am allowed to stay at the bottom and live there for awhile, I
am free to get sick of it on my own, free to begin to want out,
free to look for a way out, and free to plan how I will climb back
up to the top. In the beginning as I start to climb out....I just
might slide back down, but don't worry I might have to hit bottom
a couple more times before I make it out safe and sound.

Don't you see?? Don't you know?? You can't do this for me...I
have to do it for myself, but if you are always breaking the fall
how am I ever supposed to feel the pain that is part of the
driving force to want to get well. It is my burden to carry, not
yours.

I know you love me and that you mean well and a lot of what
you do is because you don't know what to do and you act from
your heart and from knowledge of what is best for me....but if
you truly love me, let me go my own way, make my own choices
be they bad or good.

Don't clip my wings before I can learn to fly....nudge me out of
your safety net....trust the process and pray for me.....that one
day I will not only fly, but maybe even soar.

~ unknown ~