Comebacks To Unsolicited Sales Callers

[bluidkiti]

Comebacks To Unsolicited Sales Callers

Here are some suggested comebacks to unsolicited, persistent telephone sales callers:

~ "I'm sorry, but I'm really busy right now. Give me your
home number and I'll call you back later tonight."

~ In the middle of the caller's memorized sales pitch,
interrupt with: "What causes a hiccup?"

~ "Shhh. Wait a minute. I'm here robbing the house. Whoa! I
think the owners just got home. Can you hold?"

~ When someone asks whether a spouse is at home: "Yes, but I
never allow him/her to talk to strangers."

~ When someone asks how you are: "Well, I'm having an
existential crisis at the moment. Let me explain . . ."

~ "You want to sell me insurance? I've been trying to get
insurance for years, but nobody will sell me any!"

~ Another response to rug-cleaners or any person offering
home services: (Break into tears and say) "Is this some kind
of joke? My house burned down last night! We lost
everything!"

~ To a phone company solicitor: "That sounds GREAT! Wait,
can you hold for a minute?" (Leave the phone off the hook
until he/she hangs up.)

~ Use your touch-tone phone to annoy the caller by playing
"Mary Had a Little Lamb":
6-5-4-5
6-6-6
5-5-5
6-6-6.
6-5-4-5
6-6-6-6
5-5-6-5
4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4