Today's Gift for Families...for July 2014

[MajestyJo]

Tuesday, July 1, 2014

You are reading from the book Today's Gift

Those who contemplate the beauty of the earth find reserves of strength that will endure as long as life lasts.
—Rachel Carson

Beauty is everywhere. It is in the daisies, in the lavender wildflowers, in the new green grass of spring. As we walk through life, noticing such beauty strengthens us. It reminds us of the spiritual creative force alive in this world. On better days, we can feel our own creativity gaining power from such beauty. On harder days, nature's sunset can help us step out of our suffering for a moment to be comforted and inspired by its splendor.

Even storms, in their wild and angry way, show us a power greater than ourselves. Such awesome beauty is beyond our understanding, and yet it is part of the earth we live on.

What lessons will nature teach me today?

One thing I learned was that the Creator, our God, made the heavens and the earth, along with the animals, insects, and marine life before He created Man.

Instead of thinking I was the last and not important, I had to look at appreciate what Nature had to tell and give to me. If God made them, He must value them just as much as He Loves and Cares for me.

If I keeping seeing an animal, insect, or water creatures, I go on my computer and do a search "What are the healing properties of" and then I ask myself what do I have to learn from this. If something continues to be placed in front of me, it is something I need to address.

http://www.whats-your-sign.com/animal-totems.html

For me it was looking into my china cabinet and finding a figurine of an owl that came from my aunt who is deceased. I got the thought to bring it out and put it beside my computer.

http://www.whats-your-sign.com/anima...olism-owl.html

[MajestyJo]

Wednesday, July 2, 2014

You are reading from the book Today's Gift

Now my soul hath elbowroom.
—William Shakespeare

If we spend too much time together we are bound to grow weary of one another. This would happen regardless of who the other person was. In a family, we need some time apart to pursue other interests and friendships. We may be able to meet many needs for each other, but there will be some we cannot meet. If we press too hard upon one another we will cramp our life together.

Our needs for space aren't just physical. Freedom to think and feel what seems appropriate for us, to be alone if we want, is a large part of our lives together. Only with this kind of freedom is love possible. Love requires freedom. We need to value each other, and at the same time realize that no one person or family can fill us with all life has to offer.

What are my own freedoms at home?

Love the quote. Something I had to make room for in my own space, especially when I was in a relationship or with my son when he is around.

I have the freedom to be me. I am free from the bondage of my dis-ease. I wasn`t aware that I was codependent, and that it was an addiction. I read the preface to the Melody Beattie book, `Codependent No More` and ran to the nearest Al-Anon meeting. There was no codependent meeting in my area. Living my life through others, especially family, made me as sick as my As.

[MajestyJo]

Thursday, July 3, 2014

You are reading from the book Today's Gift

You are here for a purpose. There is not a duplicate of you in the whole wide world; there never has been, there never will be. You were brought here now to fill a certain need. Take time to think that over.
—Lou Austin

No other person is exactly like you or me. No one can do exactly what we can, or touch another person in exactly the way we can. Out of all the people who could have been created, we were chosen to be a part of this time and place.

We are needed to fulfill a plan, in our families as well as in our relationships. Knowing we have unique abilities, we will spend less time feeling jealous of what others can do.

Through our dreams and yearnings, God shows us who we can be. It is up to us to have the courage to follow that dream with action.

What unique gift can I offer the world today?

Service always helped me. Service outside my group when I was under 2 years sober. Right from the beginning, I did service in my group and community.

It gave me purpose and direction in my life.

[MajestyJo]

Friday, July 4, 2014

You are reading from the book Today's Gift

In Micronesian, there's a word, kukaro, which has no corresponding word in English. When people say they are going to kukaro, they mean they are going to relax, sit around, and hang out. They are being, not doing.
—Eli and Beth Halpern

As children, our best times are often trips to an amusement park, fishing at the lake, camping, or just sitting idly under a tree. These make the best memories, and times sitting around a campfire roasting marshmallows or having a root beer after a family outing seem to bring out the love we share.

We don't seem to be accomplishing anything at these times. No chores are getting done around the house, no schoolwork, no repairs, and no moneymaking.

But these times of peace, relaxation, and a sense of endless time of being, not doing, may be essential to our ability to get other things done later. Certainly we are most receptive to our feelings, new ideas, and unplanned adventures at these moments. Maybe we should add kukaro to our vocabulary.

What timeless thing can I do today?

Like the sound of the word `kukaro` and it sounds like something that will test the tides of time. It is okay to just be, I don`t always have to be doing.

A lot would depend on where I hung out and who I was with as to whether I could find the true meaning of the word.

It reminds me of the word `kook` which my drunken father called me when I tried to get him out of his chair and into his bed so he wouldn`t set the house on fire around my son and myself. I would be in my bed and an hour later he was back up getting a drink. There was no rest, and many days I went to work with very little sleep. I had to drive 18 miles to and from work. It eventally got me fired from my job. It was his fault and I carried a resentment with no thought that I had been drinking too. It was always about that other person. Some of that timeless went to far back and leaves an unhappy memory. Very glad I don`t have to go there in today.

[MajestyJo]

Saturday, July 5, 2014

You are reading from the book Today's Gift

In uplifting, get underneath.
—George Ade

A sandpile in the summer is deceiving. The topmost sand burns hot on our feet. But as we push down toward the center, we come to a damp, cool place that soothes and oozes between our toes.

The nature of most things is not revealed at the surface. Like the sandpile, many people and situations we encounter are, on the surface, downright uncomfortable. The reward is in digging deeper-to the essential goodness, the core or meaning, the true friend. It takes time, a little knowledge, and abundant trust that we will not be burned.

What have I discovered by digging a little lately?

That I needed an attitude adjustment. I was giving up and not caring what happens to me. Seemed like there was so much wrong, including my thinking, that there wasn`t much of me visible and it was all about what is going to happen next. Needed to affirm my faith and trust, and know that my God is in charge. If He brings me to it, He will see me through it, no matter what it is.

I was sharing with my son on the phone yesterday and told him what was happening, and he said, ``...and then there is me. `` I said, `There is always you.` I love him. I just don`t like his choices. I am powerless over him and his actions and all I can do is pray and leave him in HIS God`s Hands.

[MajestyJo]

Sunday, July 6, 2014

You are reading from the book Today's Gift

Forgiveness is all-powerful. Forgiveness heals all ills.
—Catherine Ponder

Getting mad at someone, a friend perhaps, is normal. Everybody gets mad sometimes. But when we stay mad for very long, it ruins all the fun we'd planned on having throughout the day. Staying mad multiplies. Sometimes it seems we are mad at the dog, our mom, and another friend, even the TV.

Forgiving the people we're mad at works like magic. We don't even have to forgive them out loud. We can forgive them in our own minds. The result is the same. Pretty soon the whole day looks bright again. When we're mad, we are the ones who suffer most.

Who can I forgive today, and make my day a better one?

Recovery always begins with me. If I can't forgive myself how can I truly and honestly forgive someone else.

Many times words are said and taken personal when they are not meant to be. That doesn't mean I can't ask for forgiveness for hurting the other person, even if I feel justified. A really tuffy for me, because I have a firm belief in self expression, but it is not good if it is done at the expense of another.

It is best to agree to disagree.

[MajestyJo]

Monday, July 7, 2014

You are reading from the book Today's Gift

I found words to every thought I ever had, but one . . .
—Emily Dickinson

What kinds of thoughts can't be put into words? We feel lost in space, mind-boggled by how small and big the stars are. We are sure and unsure about death, its blank and steady stare. Or we have done something that makes us feel both good and bad. Sometimes we hate someone we love, but we aren't sure what hate is, or love. We are scared of crowds and afraid of being abandoned, always alone. Sometimes we just want to laugh and cry, and when words fail we expect someone to know what our silences mean.

What are some ways I try to express my feelings without using words?

Body language can speak volumes. A smile speaks all languages. A hand that is offered, a door that is held open, an ear that listens, and the list goes on and on.

[MajestyJo]

Tuesday, July 8, 2014

You are reading from the book Today's Gift

Hurry, hurry has no blessing.
—Swahili Proverb

In a busy family there is a lot of activity. We sometimes feel imprisoned by all the work, school, extracurricular activities, housework, meetings, and special events. In the press to do it all, we may lose our peace because of the hurry. We rush to eat; we rush to work; we rush to get there on time. Much of this cannot be helped. But hurry has no blessing, as the proverb goes. We can create quick tempers and a lot of frustration if we try to hurry too much.

When we allow enough time to slow things down, we give ourselves a chance to enjoy what we're doing, and to develop along spiritual lines. Inner peace depends on our keeping a balance in all the things we do. Only then can we feel the joy that comes from having enough time to do things quietly and smoothly, and value the inner peace that comes when we do not hurry.

How can I take my time today and enjoy myself?

Can`t enjoy what you don`t have time for.

[MajestyJo]

Wednesday, July 9, 2014

You are reading from the book Today's Gift

A mother is not a person to lean on, but a person to make leaning unnecessary.
—Dorothy Canfield Fisher

A strong, healthy tree is one which is free to grow straight and tall. A weak tree often must lean against another for support. It is not that different with people. We are not healthy and strong when we must always lean on another to support us.

This doesn't mean it isn't healthy to accept help. But the best help we can get or give is that which enables us to do things without it. Sometimes we think we lose a relationship when others don't need our help, or when we don't need theirs all the time. The reverse is true. Only when we are each strong enough to stand on our own can we really share the kind of help, which allows both, helped and helper to be independent.

Have I been giving the right kind of help?

A good question! Learned in recovery it was best to pray and ask that THEIR God give them what that someone needed , when it was good for them, my God's Will, not mine.

When I do for someone else, I can be playing God with their life.

If we enable and care take, they are unable to help themselves and they become codependent. A caretaker can be acting out in their own disease. They need someone to care for, to fix, and a distraction which helps them to not look at themselves. They want a leaner, because they want to lean too.

[MajestyJo]

Thursday, July 10, 2014

You are reading from the book Today's Gift

What a man thinks of himself, that is which determines, or rather indicates, his fate.
—Henry David Thoreau

Let us think of ourselves as made of dust, and allow us to be as proud of it as if it were true. For dust is everywhere. We see it in solemn rooms streaked by sun, dancing like fine angels in a cathedral light. It is the stuff of life. And it drifts down on fancy tables where the richest people eat. It cannot be denied a place. And it returns time and a time again like the seasons. It is one of the wonders of the world. And when no one sees or cares, it finds a secret corner in which to keep a solitary peace. It intends no harm. We find it at home on old leather books, the ones that preserve our noblest thoughts.

And from where we stand, it seems that even the stars are made of it. When we feel low, unworthy, or useless, let's remember that these feelings are only a small but important part of us, that even great things are made of small parts, and that we, as whole beings, are always greater than the sum of these parts.

What feelings am I made of today?

Well my isn't very old, didn't wake up until 4:30 p.m. My feelings today were resentment that I was told that I can't walk downtown and back, and I was a good girl and took the bus. My trips are only to be 2 or 3 a week.

I had a lot of gratitude and love when I met up with my friend and had a visit with her.

Felt relief when my son called to say he wasn`t coming by after work.

Felt motivated to call the eye doctor (having trouble seeing to read) and my foot specialist. I cancelled the chiropractor`s appointment and re-booked it for Friday.

Felt blessed to have quiet time with my God.

Felt grateful for the good weather about 70 deg. F.

Feel calm and peaceful when I listen to music. When I am reading and posting, I like the music without the words. When I need to hear the words, I am guided to jazz or old classic country.

Feel sad that my son chooses to stay in his addiction.

Most of all, I am grateful that I can feel.

What I am in today, is a person living in the moment, trying to be the best `me`I can be in today.

[MajestyJo]

Friday, July 11, 2014

You are reading from the book Today's Gift

Always think of what you have to do as easy and it will become so.
—Emile Corie

How we think about the activities before us is very important. If we think cleaning the garage is hard, dirty, and no chance for fun, that's just how it will feel. We'll be tired before we even begin. However, if we approach it like a treasure hunt, expecting to rediscover some long-forgotten treasures, we'll enjoy the task. In fact, it will feel like a game.

The thoughts we carry in our minds determine whether our tasks are fun or not. What good fortune it is that we can control those thoughts. If we approach an assignment for school or a job believing that we're able to do it, that it's not too hard for us, we'll finish with ease. Our thoughts determine our successes. In this way, our lives are in our own hands.

How much better can I make my life today?

A bowed head always makes the task a little easier.

[MajestyJo]

Saturday, July 12, 2014

You are reading from the book Today's Gift

We love the things we love for what they are.
—Robert Frost

Once there was a little girl who had a stuffed frog named Jeremy. Jeremy went everywhere with the girl - to imaginary picnics with her other dolls, to school, on trips, and, once, even into the bathtub! Every night, Jeremy slept cradled in her arms.

Over time, Jeremy grew old and tattered. He had lost an eye, and he limped because the girl used to use one of his legs as a handle, and it had gotten crushed. His nose was a little mangled too, from being dragged on the ground.

But the girl loved that frog; no matter how bedraggled he looked. And he never did anything. He was just always there. He was just Jeremy, and she loved him for that.

Today, that girl is a young woman and has outgrown childish things. But in her bedroom, you'll still find Jeremy, tattered and repaired, asleep on her bed. She still loves him dearly, for what he is.

Who do I love, and why?

Love the title, it is hard to look at how much I missed and lost to active addiction. I am surprised I still have the little figurine of a little girl and her dog. I think it represented my past and losing my dog because he started running after cars and attacked a man on a bicycle. I got it for perfect attendance at Sunday School.

The thing I treasure is all the butterflies I have been given at anniversaries and for just because presents. They came in many forms put represented the change in me. My one sponsor said, `When you came into recovery, you were wrapped into a cocoon, and you have grown into a beautiful butterfly. My favourite is a monarch butterfly made with feathers.

[MajestyJo]

Sunday, July 13, 2014

You are reading from the book Today's Gift

When you have to make a choice and don't make it, that is in itself a choice.
—William James

There are times when it's hard to make a decision. When we go to the fair, for instance, we may want to do more things than we have time for, so we don't know what plans to make. Waiting to decide until we see what the fair has to offer is one choice. Not deciding because we're afraid of what may happen is also a choice. We may find ourselves thinking so much about what could happen that we miss all the exciting things going on around us.

It's necessary to keep in mind that any course of action is a decision, but no decision is irreversible. We are free to do what we decide, and are freed by the awareness that whatever we do is based on our own decision and no one else's.

What important decisions shall I make without fear today?

The best thing I can do for my recovery is to look at myself instead of focusing on others. Remember the slogan, `Live and Let Live,` I can`t take a proper inventory and have an understanding of myself if I keep saying, `I am not as bad as they are.`

[MajestyJo]

Tuesday, July 15, 2014

You are reading from the book Today's Gift

I was forced to live far beyond my years when just a child. Now I have reversed the order and I intend to remain young indefinitely.
—Mary Pickford

We can all learn to change our lives so the child within each of us can live in balance with the people we have become. We can learn to give the child a voice, let the child play, let the child express needs and fears and pleasures.

We might look at our old baby pictures for a valuable lesson. We will see pictures of ourselves on rocking horses, grinning and waving; pictures of ourselves with our most precious toy - a crude metal car, perhaps; pictures of ourselves rolling in the grass. The lesson we learn is that it doesn't take much to make this child happy - even today.

We keep our own happiness safe inside us to call on whenever we need it, as long as we keep a healthy relationship with the child within. When we nourish the child, we can be assured the child will also nourish us.

What simple thing will make me happy today?

One thing that makes me happy today is the fact that I can choose to turn my music on, have a choice as to what music I listen to, and I can choose not to have the music or the TV on.

Prior to recovery, I had to fill that space. I didn't realize it was a void within me that had the hunger, and it had to be filled with something. I could hide and shut down if I had something to divert me or help me shut down and shut off. When you do that, you shut off the good and the not so good feelings, and when that happened, there was no happiness.

[MajestyJo]

Monday, July 14, 2014

You are reading from the book Today's Gift

Happiness is not a matter of events; it depends upon the tides of the mind.
—Alice Meyvell

It's thought that Abe Lincoln once said, "We're as happy as we make up our minds to be." In other words, we decide to be happy. Bad weather, lost toys, broken plans, even angry friends don't have to ruin our own happiness unless we let them. We're always in control of our own thoughts and feelings, and happiness is a feeling we can choose even when others around us have chosen to be angry or sad. Even when the day is gloomy and none of our plans are working out, we can still be cheerful if we decide to be. How lucky we are that someone else can't decide for us how to feel. We'd be nothing more than robots if that were true.

Am I ready to make this day a happy one?

I am responsible for my own happiness, happiness comes from within.