Control

[MajestyJo]

If you have to control it, it is already out of control!

Need to let go of control?

"The world is not to be put in order; the world is order, incarnate. It is for us to harmonize with this order."

-- Henry Miller

Ego believes that it needs to protect us from external dangers. Through control and manipulation, it aims to keep us safe. This need of ego is based in fear.

If we hope to live in love, we must become acquainted with soul.
Experiencing soul brings a deep knowing that this is a loving universe.

Experiencing soul also builds faith. We learn to trust that we don’t have to run the show. And when we do this, we tap the source of true freedom and joy.

"It is not action or effort that we must surrender; it is self-will, and this is terribly difficult. You must do your best constantly, yet never allow yourself to become involved in whether things work out the way you want."

-- Eknath Easwaran

"True spiritual surrender responsibly opens itself to the unknown."

-- Stephen V. Doughty

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Recently, my son told me he was in control of his drug use. I can remember when I thought control was the solution. If I could control, people, place and things, everything would be just fine.

Ego is "Easing God Out." I didn't allow God into my life and tended to discount Him. When I am trying to control, it is already out of control. I end up trying to be my own Higher Power.

I use to get really upset when people didn't post on this site. Today, I am able to let go, and do what I need to do for my own recovery and sobriety (My site Soundness of Mind).

[MajestyJo]

I used to live in my past," said one recovering woman. "I was either trying to change it, or I was letting it control me. Usually both.
"I constantly felt guilty about things that had happened. Things I had done; things others had done to me - even though I had made amends for most everything, the guilt ran deep. Everything was somehow my fault. I could never just let it go.

Language of Letting Go

For me it was always about control. What I call the "C" word because it is right there up with the word 'cancer' because it corrodes the soul.

Although I would blame others, I would have those whips out and would be beating up myself for being stupid, how could you do this, didn't you learn your lesson the last time, why are you continuing to do this to yourself?

The control is generally me trying to control the addict or my environment, me wanting things to go my way so I will have an outcome that is in my best interest because the great "ME" is at stake in the great scheme of things. Sounds pretty selfish and self-centered, especially for someone in recovery, and it is. That is why I have to work this program one day at a time, to obtain my emotional and mental sobriety as well as my physical and spiritual sobriety.

Everyone says, "I am in control of myself." No! I am not in control, unless I turn my will and my life over to the God of my understanding. When I do that, I don't need to go there, into that sick way of thinking, and let my God lead and direct my life.

The past can be really sneaky because it can be attached to things in today and I need to cut the imbelical cord, but in order to do that, I have to see it. So many times, I have based things in today on past experiences, knowing full well, that in today, with my God's Good Orderly Direction, I do not have to go there in today. Which means, when I do, I am not walking in faith, I am not trusting my God, I am being selective as to what I think He can and will do, according to my will.

Letting go can often be as simple as a prayer and deep breathes in and out, which is a position of surrender, especially when you sit with both palms up, wiling to let go and receive, what your God has to give you and what you need taken away.

Remember recovery is a process, it doesn't happen overnight. It, what ever "it" is in your life in today, will always be there if we don't learn to let go!

With the letting go comes acceptance, the five As are a process. Aware I have a problem. Admit to my God, to myself and another human being that the problem exists and my acknowledging it, the process is put into motion. It can't go far without acceptance, and if my attitude isn't good, I am not going to be willing to take action. For me though, I often have to take action to change the attitude, which makes for a real spiritual awakening, and then I know, God and I are on the same page.

If I was able to control, my life would have been manageable. That is an illusion.

[MajestyJo]

Not sure about you, but I played many roles and loved those songs, and sang along and made believe they were me. Lived in a world of fantasy, and thought I was in control, which was an illusion and the reality was, I was in my own private hell.

I thought I knew everything. I am a leading authority on everything, just ask me. I was called Odd Job Jo(e), Gravy Jo, and I was always hearing, give it to Jo, she will do it. I thought it was because I was smart. It was because I didn't know how to say "No" get someone else to do it.

I had to change everything: All my preconceived ideas, thoughts, and notions. All my misconceptions, my perceptions, and I disagreeumptions had to be all reprogrammed through different eyes.

To do this, I had to get out of my own way, and to do that I went to meetings and I listened to people share at meetings. I listened to what they said, and I heard how other people lived their lives and how they thought. They gave me new insight into living clean and sober. They laid out a plan for living a new way of life, I just had to stay out of the way and let my Higher Power put these people in my life, to show me the way.

My sponsor told me, "You can learn two things at a meeting. How to work your program and how not to work your program." I know I repeat myself quite often, but it is true. Why say something different, when those are the words that worked for me 20 years ago and still work for me in today.
__________________

[MajestyJo]

Getting Out Of Your Own Way



Each day in our lives, we hope and pray for a better day, that things should improve in one area or another.
But all too often, all we do is hope and pray.
That is not enough --
We have to think, act and speak differently.
If we don't change how we think, speak and act, we are bound to repeat the same problems or mistakes that gives us a situation we want changed.

So how do we change things?

The hardest part of change is thinking differently.
You have to challenge your own assumptions,
including most delicately, the sense of who you are.
You may not be who you really think you are.

Never forget, we judge others by their actions, but we judge ourselves by our intentions.
Yes, you meant to help someone with a project,
you intended to give charity, you were planning on inviting your friends over for dinner, but if you didn't do it, in their minds you had no intention, and you are judged
as such. So start correcting this error.

If you intend to do something - DO IT.
Don't procrastinate, don't delay.
Stop making excuses.
You want to improve yourself, get out of your own way.

Now find someone you completely trust,
who has your interest at heart and who can give you constructive criticism.
It is often better for a friend to be this person than a spouse.
And tell the person to try to remove personal bias (of how you may have hurt them or been inconsiderate).
It has to be coming from a place of true concern for you.

Start with one area.
Don't take on your whole life at one time.
What you may realize is that you may not
be perceived the way you perceive yourself.
So work on correcting the in-balance -
and you will immediately feel more content and
balanced inside...

You that you can start changing your life for the better by starting to Think, Act and Speak differently!



By: R. Barker

[MajestyJo]

A poem about breaking free from the people that control you and that you're never a puppet until death overcomes you.

Puppet Strings



© Amber Duncan

I am a puppet, held up by your strings.
I am a puppet trapped in your ring.

I am a puppet for you to enjoy,
I am a puppet I am your toy.

I am a puppet for you to use
like hollow wood for you to use

I am attached I'm only yours
a puppets act to earn your applause

I am the peasant and you are the king
and my only escape is to cut the strings

There is only one way for a puppet to die...
You must cut the strings and commit suicide.

Original Source FB

http://www.thefreedictionary.com/control

http://thesaurus.com/browse/control

[MajestyJo]

Control is thinking that I have the power.

Powerlessness is admitting that you are not in control of everything. That you are not playing God. There are 2 wills on this earth God's will and self - will. It sounds like your friend is still stuck in her own self - will , wanting to change or fix things.

I am powerless over people, places and things, but when I surrender to a Higher Power, then I am 'empowered' to do what I need to do for myself. The God of my understanding doesn't do for me what I can do for myself, but He will give me the courage, the strength, and the direction to do what I need to live my life, just for today. He may give me the words to say to someone who needs some new direction and awareness. I can go to Him and ask for the right words to say, but I am a channel and only through His blessing and I able to make a difference.

For me, it is Divine orderly good, or Good orderly direction, which comes from within, when I maintain that spiritual connection with my Higher Power and will His will not mine, be done.

We are powerless, and it wasn't until I substituted the word control in the place of power that I could find an understanding of the word. If I was controlling something, it was already out of control. If I trying to exert power over something, the power isn't there or I wouldn't have to try.

When I surrender, I am empowered but until I have the awareness and acceptance of that powerlessness, I can not make the decision to ask for my Higher Power's help. I also had to distinguish what was God's role and what was my part because I firmly believe God doesn't do for me what I can't do for myself.

Posted in 2004,and I am as powerless in today, ten years later as I was when this was posted. I still do that daily "Honesty, Surrender, and Acceptance, and by doing so, I put my life into the care of my God.

Through Him I can do, without Him, my life is unmanageable.