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Sponsors and Sponsees Help Forum This forum is to discuss any topics, questions or comments you have on sponsorship from How To Pick A Sponsor to When To Step Back and more. |
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#1 |
Super Moderator
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Hamilton, ON
Posts: 25,078
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What to look for in a sponsor
Choosing a sponsor is like choosing your best friend. Sometimes it just happens and sometimes it's planned, but there is always something about the other person that attracts us to them. Picking a sponsor can seem scary and intimidating at first. It is our hope that these suggestions may ease this process a bit for you. Some recovery groups have a list of available members who have volunteered to help the newcomer as "Temporary Sponsors". Temporary Sponsors can ease our transition in a number of ways, they can answer questions, explain the concepts of the program and terms, saying and other essential items in such a way that helps us to understand. Some "temp sponsors" become primary sponsors, but many are replaced by someone else in time. The best advice that was shared to us when we were looking for a sponsor was to attend 90 meeting in 90 days. This has a two fold affect, the first is it will show you are serious about the program, the second it will allow you 90 days to meet and greet those in the group with you. While attending the meetings listen to the person sharing. Hear and see what they have to offer. As you make friends in the group, ask them who they think would be best for you often times we can't see ourselves clearly but those whom we meet can and can best guide us to the best sponsors. Some factors to consider in choosing a sponsor They have what you want. They live the solution not the problem. Walks the Talk in all his/her affairs. Has a sponsor themselves. Emphasizes the steps and traditions of the program. Has more time in recovery than we do. Has worked more steps than we have. Is available for telephone calls and personal meetings. Emphasized the spiritual aspect of the program. and lastly IS THE SAME GENDER TYPE as you.
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Love always, Jo I share because I care. ![]() |
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#2 |
Super Moderator
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Hamilton, ON
Posts: 25,078
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Twelve Qualities of Sponsorship
1. I will not help you to stay and wallow in limbo. 2. I will help you to grow, to become more productive, by your definition. 3. I will help you become more autonomous, more loving of yourself, more excited, less sensitive, more free to become the authority for your own living. 4. I can not give you dreams or "fix you up" simply because I can not. 5. I can not give you growth, or grow for you. You must grow for yourself by facing reality, grim as it may be at times. 6. I can not take away your loneliness or your pain. 7. I can not sense your world for you, evaluate your goals for you, tell you what is best for your world; because you have your own world in which you must live. 8. I can not convince you of the necessity to make the vital decision of choosing the frightening uncertainty of growing over the safe misery of remaining static. 9. I want to be with you and know you as a rich and growing friend; yet I can not get close to you when you choose not to grow. 10. When I begin to care for you out of pity or when I begin to lose faith in you, then I am inhibiting both for you and for me. 11. You must know and understand my help is conditional. I will be with you and "hang in there" with you so long as I continue to get even the slightest hint that you are still trying to grow. 12. If you can accept this, then perhaps we can help each other to become what God meant us to be, mature adults, leaving childishness forever to the little children of the world They say your sponsor should not be a close friend, that there should be an objectivity there so she can see what is there, not what she or you see what you want to see. Sponsorship for me was often a two way street. Some people need TLC, allowed time to heal. Others need tough love, so they can't since into depression and they need the Good Orderly Direction, because they just don't know. You can't know what you have never been taught. ![]()
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Love always, Jo I share because I care. ![]() |
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#3 | |
Super Moderator
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Hamilton, ON
Posts: 25,078
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Called my sponsor yesterday. she had been away, so I was glad that she was home. My service sponsor said to me, "I don't care who your God is as long as it isn't you. ![]()
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Love always, Jo I share because I care. ![]() |
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