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December 1
Daily Reflections "SUGGESTED" STEPS Our Twelfth Step also says that as a result of practicing all the Steps, we have each found something called a spiritual awakening. . . . A.A.'s manner of making ready to receive this gift lies in the practice of the Twelve Steps in our program." TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, pp. 106-07 I remember my sponsor's answer when I told him that the Steps were "suggested." He replied that they are "suggested" in the same way that, if you were to jump out of a airplane with a parachute, it is "suggested" that you pull the ripcord to save your life. He pointed out that it was "suggested" I practice the Twelve Steps, if I wanted to save my life. So I try to remember daily that I have a whole program of recovery based on all Twelve of the "suggested" Steps. ************************************************** ********* Twenty-Four Hours A Day A.A. Thought For The Day The thoughts that come before having a slip are often largely subconscious. It is a question whether or not our subconscious minds ever become entirely free from alcoholic thoughts as long as we live. For instance, some of us dream about being drunk when we are asleep, even after several years of sobriety in A.A. During the period of our drinking days, our subconscious minds have been thoroughly conditioned by our alcoholic way of thinking and it is doubtful that they ever become entirely free of such thoughts during our lifetime. But when our conscious minds are fully conditioned against drinking, we can stay sober and our subconscious minds do not often bother us. Am I still conditioning my conscious mind? Meditation For The Day Having sympathy and compassion for all who are in temptation, a condition which we are sometimes in, we have a responsibility towards them. Sympathy always includes responsibility. Pity is useless because it does not have a remedy for the need. But wherever our sympathy goes, our responsibility goes too. When we are moved with compassion, we should go to the one in need and bind up his wounds as best we can. Prayer For The Day I pray that I may have sympathy for those in temptation. I pray that I may have compassion for others' trials. ************************************************** ********* As Bill Sees It Quantity or Quality, p. 11 "About this slip business--I would not be too discouraged. I think you are suffering a great deal from a needless guilt. For some reason or other, the Lord has laid out tougher paths for some of us, and I guess you are treading one of them. God is not asking us to be successful. He is only asking us to try to be. That, you surely are doing, and have been doing. So I would not stay away from A.A. through any feeling of discouragement or shame. It's just the place you should be. Why don't you try just as a member? You don't have to carry the whole A.A. on your back, you know! "It is not always the quantity of good things that you do, it is also the quality that counts. "Above all, take it one day at a time." Letter, 1958 ************************************************** ********* Walk In Dry Places Why do bad things happen? Understanding life No one has been able to explain why pain and misfortune must be part of the human condition. Bad things can and do happen to everybody, and sometimes there's no way to explain it. Even in sobriety, AA members have misfortunes---times when it appears that God is hiding. We even hear members share such experiences at meetings. Many of us have found ways to use misfortunes constructively, however, by seeing how the program helps us deal with it. In some cases---but not all---we even learn that a misfortune was a disguised blessing. Most important, by using the program, we are eliminating the drinking that has been the cause of many misfortunes in our lives. That alone makes our immediate world a much better place for everyone. My life today can be both easy and hard. It gives me great comfort to know that I am not making conditions worse for myself and others. ************************************************** ********* Keep It Simple Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps---First part of Step Twelve. We are awake! Our spirits are alive. We are part of the world. Our addiction no longer clouds our vision. How? Step Twelve answers this. The beauty of Step Twelve is that if we feel our spirits starting to go dead, we know how to awaken them. It's simple. Turn to the Steps. After all, working the Steps has awakened our spirits. The hope and serenity we feel are gifts given to us through the Steps of our program. And the more we turn to the Steps for help, the more life we'll feel. The Steps are what feed and heal our souls. Prayer for the Day Higher Power: Thank you for the Steps. If I start to believe it is I who keeps me sober, remind me of my life before the Twelve Steps. Action for the Day: Today, I'll read the Twelve Steps. I'll think of how each Step helped awaken my spirit. ************************************************** ********* Each Day a New Beginning And it isn't the thing you do, dear, It's the thing you leave undone Which gives you a bit of a heartache At the setting of the sun. --Margaret Sangster A quality we all share, a very human quality, is to expect perfection from ourselves, to expect the impossible in all tasks done. We must rejoice for the good we do. Each time we pat ourselves on the back for a job well done, our confidence grows a little bit more. Recovery is best measured by our emotional and spiritual health, expressed in our apparent confidence and trust in "the process." We need to recognize and celebrate our strong points, and they'll gain even more strength. Likewise, we need to practice prayer and listening to guidance first to develop our ties to God, but more importantly to be able to acknowledge when help is at hand. We can do all we need to do with God's help. Having goals but keeping them realistic, for the day or the year, is a sign of emotional health. Not dwelling on those that can't be accomplished, at the moment, is another sign. A change of attitude is all most of us need to move from where we are to a better place emotionally. There's never a better time than right now for rejoicing over what I've done. ************************************************** ********* Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition Chapter 8 - TO WIVES If you and your husband find a solution for the pressing problem of drink you are, of course, going to very happy. But all problems will not be solved at once. Seed has started to sprout in a new soil, but growth has only begun. In spite of your new-found happiness, there will be ups and downs. Many of the old problems will still be with you. This is as it should be. p. 117 ************************************************** ********* Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition Stories LISTENING TO THE WIND - It took an "angel" to introduce this Native American woman to A.A. and recovery. I met my current husband in an A.A. meeting. Together we carry the message to Indian people on reservations all over the country. I started at the fifth-grade level in school when I had been sober nearly two years. After college I started my own business. Today I publish the books I write. Our daughter was born during my early sobriety, and she is in high school now. She has never seen her mother take a drink. Our family has returned to the spirituality of our ancestors. We attend sweat lodges and other ancient ceremonies with our people on sovereign native land. We take panels of sober Natives into Indian boarding schools and institutions, and share about recovery. pp. 468-469 ************************************************** ********* Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions Step Five - "Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs." But of the things which really bother and burn us, we say nothing. Certain distressing or humiliating memories, we tell ourselves, ought not be shared with anyone. These will remain our secret. Not a soul must ever know. We hope they'll go to the grave with us. pp. 55-56 ************************************************** ********* "Beware of little expenses. A small leak will sink a great ship." --Benjamin Franklin "There are no gains without pains." --Benjamin Franklin Kindness is more than deeds. It is an attitude, an expression, a look, a touch. It is anything that lifts another person. --C. Neil Strait Kind words do not cost much. Yet they accomplish much. --Blaise Pascal "It is a sign of strength, not of weakness, to admit that you don't know all the answers." --John P. Loughrane "What sunshine is to flowers, smiles are to humanity." --Joseph Addison ************************************************** ********* Father Leo's Daily Meditation GOSSIP "Great minds discuss ideas, average minds discuss wants, small minds discuss people." -- Laurence J. Peter Gossip is ultimately a form of malicious cowardice. It is a "blasphemy" because it seeks to denigrate the human being that God has made in His image. As a practicing alcoholic I was a gossip. I exaggerated and manipulated the truth with my gossip. I made up stories against those people I had a resentment towards; innocent people were abused and victimized by my gossip. Also I loved listening to gossip. The listener plays an important role in the life of "gossip" because without the listener it could not exist. It takes two to gossip! Today gossip is unacceptable behavior in my program. ************************************************** ********* But someone will say, "You have faith; I have deeds." Show me your faith without deeds, and I will show you my faith by what I do. James 2:18 "If I say I will forget my complaint, I will change my expression and smile." Job 9:27 ************************************************** ********* Daily Inspiration Accept yourself for who you are because who you are has a purpose and an important reason for being. Lord, Your love for me makes me special and lovable. Take care of yourself so that you may give care to others. Lord, may I never totally ignore myself and my feelings for the sake of others and fit in time daily to refresh my spirit. ************************************************** ********* NA Just For Today Life's Rewards "We begin to pray only for God's will for us. That way, we get only what we are capable of handling." Basic Text pg. 47 Imagine what might happen if God gave us everything we wanted. A fabulous new car, straight A's, a triple salary raise - all ours without effort, just for the asking. Now imagine the problems that come along with unearned riches, new luxury cars, and unmerited scholastic recognition. What would we do with a huge salary raise that had been granted for no reason? How would we handle our new financial responsibilities? And how would we live up to that raise? Could we ever make it appear that we deserve such pay when we know we don't? What about that fantastic new car? Most come with expensive insurance premiums and hefty maintenance costs. Are we prepared to care for what we've asked for? Academic honors? Could we perform like A students after we'd been given high marks we hadn't earned? What would we do if we were exposed as frauds? When we talk to God, we need to remember that we live in the real world. We earn rewards and learn to handle them as we do. Confining our prayers to requests for knowledge of God's will, the power to carry it out, and the ability to live with the consequences will ensure that we get no more than we can handle. Just for today: I will pray only for knowledge of God's will and the power to carry that out in the real world. ************************************************** ********* You are reading from the book Today's Gift. Go rich in poverty. Go rich in poetry. --May Sarton Poetry lets us put the beauty of nature--the clouds, the flowers, and the waterfall--into words. Poetry lets us see that things, which appear to be opposites, may just be different ways of looking at the same thing. How can we be rich in poverty? Wealth in poverty means finding pleasure in simplicity, finding the core of what's important, and saying it in the fewest possible words. We are so often caught up in the pursuit of more--more money, more toys, more prestige that we forget how satisfying the simple things can be. Think of the beauty of a sunset or a walk by the river, the fun of playing in a sandbox or swinging on the swings in the park, or in simply taking time to get something done the right way, without hurry. What riches lie around me right this moment? You are reading from the book Touchstones. In the depths of winter, I finally learned that within me there lay an invincible summer. --Albert Camus Sometimes we suddenly see or sense opposite emotions within ourselves. The cold of winter presses in on us, and we may feel tested by its bite. Yet, when we think we cannot bear it a moment longer, we find a counterforce within, an inner reassurance that comes like a summer breeze and says we can do what we must. Perhaps it comes in a time of dark despair, and we realize that at least we've made it this far. We are pretty tough. In our deepest sadness about the loss of a love, we may find a more meaningful contact with our Higher Power. The opposites in our lives may tempt us to fight them. One side may be very clear and obvious while the other side is hidden. When we are open, these extremes are spiritual teachers for us. As we think about life and our feelings today, what opposites do we find? Today, I will remember that I have an invincible summer at the deepest part of winter in my life. You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning. And it isn't the thing you do, dear, It's the thing you leave undone Which gives you a bit of a heartache At the setting of the sun. --Margaret Sangster A quality we all share, a very human quality, is to expect perfection from ourselves, to expect the impossible in all tasks done. We must rejoice for the good we do. Each time we pat ourselves on the back for a job well done, our confidence grows a little bit more. Recovery is best measured by our emotional and spiritual health, expressed in our apparent confidence and trust in "the process." We need to recognize and celebrate our strong points, and they'll gain even more strength. Likewise, we need to practice prayer and listening to guidance first to develop our ties to God, but more importantly to be able to acknowledge when help is at hand. We can do all we need to do with God's help. Having goals but keeping them realistic, for the day or the year, is a sign of emotional health. Not dwelling on those that can't be accomplished, at the moment, is another sign. A change of attitude is all most of us need to move from where we are to a better place emotionally. There's never a better time than right now for rejoicing over what I've done. You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go. Letting People Be There for Us Sometimes, we need nurturing. Sometimes, we need people to support us. Many of us have been deprived of support and nurturing for so long we may not realize it's something we want and need. Many of us have learned to block our stop ourselves from getting what we want and need. We may not reach out to have our needs met. We may be in relationships with people who cannot or will not be available to meet our needs. Or we may be in relationships with people who would be happy to respond to a direct request from us. We may have to give up something to do this. We may have to let go of our martyr or victim role. If we ask for what we want and need, and get those needs met, we will not be able to punish people, or push them away later on, for disappointing us. We may have to let go of our fears enough to experience the intimacy that will occur when we allow someone to love and support us. We may even have to learn, one day at a time, how to be happy and content. Learn to let others be there for us. Today, I will be open to identifying what I need from people, and I will ask for what I want directly. I will let others be there for me. I am okay about me today and that is terrific. --Ruth Fishel *************************************** Journey To The Heart Let Yourself Be Who You Are It’s difficult to be around people who are trying to be perfect– perfectly healthy , perfectly polite, perfectly poised, perfectly controlled. Remember that being human means being imperfect, being flawed. Let yourself be. Let others be. Slouch in your chair. Eat with the wrong fork. Laugh out loud. Stand up and reveal who you are and know that you’re good enough. Stop worrying that people will find out who you really are. Instead, hope that they do. Help them by openly sharing yourself and being not who you think you should be, but who you really are. Freedom is just a small step away– a step into self-love and acceptance. When you take it, others will follow. And they’ll be grateful you led the way. *************************************** More Language Of Letting Go Say how sweet it is Many of us have been seeking diligently for the meaning of life, at least for the meaning of our lives. I thought I had found it when I began recovering from chemical dependency. Aha, I thought. The meaning of life is to stay sober. Then along came codependecy and my need to recover from those issues. Surely, the seach for enlightenment would culminate there. No, not yet. It was as if there was a big locked metal door. On one side of it was supreme knowledge of why we’re here, that elusive “thing” called enlightenment. I was on the other side of the door, locked out, searching for the key. Over the years, I’ve been to therapists, doctors, and healers. I’ve used homeopathy, kinesiology, acupuncture, and acupressure. In my youth, I tried alcohol and drugs, thinking they were the answer. I looked for the answer to the meaning of life in relationships. Then I searched for enlightenent by avoiding commitment and romantic love at any cost. I’ve tried Gestalt therapy, transactional analysis, hypnotherapy, prayer, and meditation,too. Over the past twenty-seven years, I’ve actively participated in more than one Twelve Step program in this quest for truth. I’ve dutifully plodded through the grinding work so many people have come to know as family of origin work. Hooray, I finally found and healed my inner child. I even have a fuzzy teddy bear on the floor next to my bed. After my son died, I stayed with every moment of my grief until I worked through it by finally accepting the lifetime handicap that I would live in spite of the loss of Shane. I’ve perused A Course in Miracles, learning with Marianne Williamson’s help about the magic of love in all its myriad shapes and forms. At last, I opened my heart. But the search for enlightenment eluded me. I wasn’t depressed, but my spirit ached. I started traveling, first around the United States and then around the world. I visited the vortexes of Sedona, the ancient Anasazi village in Chaco Canyon, and the Santuarior de Chimayo, the blessed Mexican church. I should have been glowing in the dark. Occasionally, I glimpsed the Light. But I still didn’t understand what life was all about. Maybe tomorrow I’ll find that key, I’d think. It seemed as if enlightenment was always one day, one step, one therapist, one book, one healer away. Over twenty years ago, when I was already well immersed in this quest, a trusted friend told me that the secret to life was simple: there wasn’t one. Maybe my friend was right. Maybe I was looking for something that didn’t exist. One day, I stopped looking. It wasn’t that I gave up. I gave in. I stopped waiting to win the spiritual lottery. Stopped trying to become enlightened. Stopped looking for that perfect soul mate. And started surrendering to enjoying each moment of my life– just as it is. That’s when I found joy. Or maybe joy found me. The key to enlightenment might be simpler than we think. We’re here to experience joy. Look at each moment in your life and learn to say, How sweet it is. God, help me learn joy. *************************************** Learning To Meditate From the Learning To Meditate On-Line Course by Madisyn Taylor The following is an excerpt from the "Learning to Meditate" on-line course. If you would like to take the entire course, click here. My wish for you is that meditation can be an opportunity to begin a simple practice of self-acceptance and self-love. If the mere idea of meditating feels uncomfortable—or scary even, that's okay. Exploring unknown territory usually does. But don't worry, you won't turn into a hippie, have to change your friends, or pack up and move to a commune in order to reap the benefits of your meditation practice. This is a gift you're giving yourself and nobody even needs to know you are meditating, but you just might love it so much that you will want to teach your friends and family. Let's take a moment to get clear on what meditation really is. The term "meditation" can refer to any process that leads you to an inner state of relaxed awareness. There needn't be any big mystery or drama about the process itself, and there's really no right or wrong way of doing it. There are simply different techniques that can be used as tools to help you focus and quiet your mind, and we'll work with some of these as the weeks unfold. This will allow you to choose which method works best for you as a person. We have all seen the vision of the yogi sitting crossed legged wearing robes and perhaps meditating in a cave. This is not what meditation is about for most of us and starting with an unrealistic idea of what meditation is about won't make it an enjoyable experience for you. I still have a hard time quieting my mind and I find that my meditation practice is more fulfilling for me while I'm in nature. Our main purpose here is to help you develop a meditation pra! ctice that's right for you. It'll be something you feel comfortable doing and that you're willing and able to do regularly. For those of us who already have a meditation routine, we've come to depend on the way our practice enhances our lives. We've discovered an ever-present source of inner peace and wisdom from which we can now draw strength, courage, clarity and compassion. It has become easier to respond to situations from a calm and grounded place, rather than acting out old dysfunctional patterns. We're also better able to navigate our lives in alignment with our own needs and goals. By giving ourselves the space to simply be ourselves, many of the distractions from other people's agendas melt away. For many of us, meditation has become an important way to take really good care of ourselves. You wouldn't dream about leaving your house in the morning without bathing or brushing your teeth and this is eventually how you will feel about your practice. A morning meditation will give you the quiet confidence and the strength you will need for your day. Research has linked a regular practice of meditation to reduced levels of anxiety and stress, in addition to improved immune function and a host of other health benefits. Studies have shown that the nervous system actually begins responding differently to stressful situations—creativity flows more freely and new solutions begin to emerge. What's wonderful is that many of these advantages occur after just one session and continue evolving with regular practice. As you develop your own meditation program, you'll be able to track the benefits for yourself, from changes in your mood to improvements in your energy. Soon you will find yourself reacting from a place of centered calm rather than from your head. GETTING STARTED The best results of meditation are seen in those who make it a regular practice. And as with anything, practicing consistently carves out a behavioral pattern that becomes more established and easier to follow over time. Try not to be hard on yourself as you begin this process. You're the only one who can take this journey and the best place to start is right where you are. At first you may not be able to sit for more than a few minutes and that's ok, but soon you'll be meditating for 10, 20 or 30 minutes with ease. The idea is to get a habit started, so aim for consistency (i.e., meditating 10 minutes a day, every day) over longer sessions (i.e., meditating for a whole half hour, every once in a while). You generally don't need to purchase anything to start a meditation routine and no special equipment or clothing is required as long as you're comfortable. Some people buy what's known as a meditation cushion, but it's certainly not necessary. Some also find that lighting a candle or incense signals an official start to their meditation and this can help the mind to focus. (Chimes, singing bowls and bells may also be used for this purpose.) Next week, we'll be exploring some particular meditation practices that use candles and incense, so if you don't already have these around your home, you may want to get some that you'll enjoy working with. It is not uncommon for inspiring ideas and solutions to emerge during meditation. I always have a journal with me so I can jot down what comes up and return to my session without fear of losing the idea. You may want to experiment with this as well. It can help your mind return to silence. Positioning Let's explore a few different ways of sitting. You may be familiar with the classic lotus position or half-lotus position (see photos below) in which many long-term meditators are pictured. This position is ideal because it allows for a balanced and unobstructed flow of energy throughout the energy centers of your body. Some people cannot sit this way because they are physically inflexible or having back or knee issues. You may find that over time you gain the flexibility to meditate in the lotus position; or, you may simply decide that an alternate posture works better for you. Please don't feel that you have to sit in these positions right away, it can take time to build up to it. The key to remember when selecting your meditation position is that you'll want to keep your back straight and your palms open or facing upward. There are a few different positions for your hands to take during meditation, but for the purpose of this course we will place our hands open toward the sky and having them rest on your thighs, knees or ankles depending on what is comfortable once you are in position with the rest of your body. Here are some positions you might try: Using a Chair: Sit with your feet on the floor, spine straight against the back of the chair, and your shoulders back. If needed, you can add a pillow behind you for lower back support. On the Floor: Sit crossed legged or in half or full lotus position. You may want to place a pillow under your tailbone for comfort. On the Floor, against the Wall: If you have trouble getting your back straight, start out sitting against a wall. If necessary, fold up a small towel to tuck under your tailbone. This is usually the easiest position for beginners, with a wall supporting the back. Over time your muscles will get stronger and the support of a wall will likely become unnecessary. In Your Bed: If sitting up straight is difficult or painful for you, start out lying down. Most of us associate our bed with sleeping and this can be a problem, as it may create the tendency to fall asleep. But turn yourself 90 degrees on the bed if it's big enough, or turn yourself 180 degrees and do not use pillows—this may trick your mind to stay awake, as your head will be at a different place than it usually is during the night. Once you have more meditation experience under your belt, try to move from the bed. The bed may also be used in a sitting position with your back against your headboard and pillows placed under your hipbones to get a nice straight spine. Published with permission from Daily OM *************************************** A Day At A Time Reflection For The Day It has truly been said that “We become what we do.” It’s emphasized to us over and over in The Program that our thoughts and actions toward others color and shape our spiritual lives. Words and acts of kindness, generosity, thoughtfulness and forgiveness serve to strengthen those qualities within us that heighten our consciousness of God’s love. In asking God to direct and guide my life, am I also asking love to take over and lead me where it will? Today I Pray May I make a resolute attempt at acting out the way I want to be — loving, forgiving, kind, thoughtful. May I be aware that each small, attentive act carries with it an echo of God’s all-caring. For God so loved the world; may we make His love our example. Today I Will Remember We become what we do. *************************************** One More Day The wise man looks at death with honesty, dignityu and calm, recognizing that the tragedy it brings is inherent in the great gift of life. – Corliss Lamont Chronic illness trends to heighten our awareness of the fragility of life. Some of us may even become concerned that due to poor health we may not live as long as we’d once expected. To ease our fears, we may feel better if we initiated a conversation with family members about dying. Since each one of us have personal ideas about how we would like our funeral handled — which hymns, who will say the eulogy, and where it should be held — it only makes sense to share that information with loved ones. Few people feel comfortable talking about the possibility of dying, but with a straightforward discussion we can, at least for a while, set aside our own anxieties. I am comforted knowing my family understands my fears and needs. ************************************ Food For Thought Emotional Distress In the past, we translated emotional distress into physical hunger. Physical hunger was something we could deal with when emotional pain was too much for us. The reason our hunger was not satisfied by any amount of food was that the hunger was really distressed emotion. If as children we were unable to recognize and express our distress, we buried it. As adults, we may still have ignored painful feelings and tried to make them go away with quantities of food and drink. Eventually, we became so dishonest with ourselves that we did not know what it was we really felt. We may have pretended for so long that everything was fine that we believed it. The telltale sign that all was not fine was our compulsive overeating behavior. When we abstain, we sometimes fear that we will be overwhelmed with the emotional pain that is no longer buried with food. By turning this distress over to our Higher Power, we are able to survive it and learn from it. I give You the pain that I cannot handle. ***************************************** One Day At A Time ~ SPIRITUALITY ~ When the heart weeps for what it has lost, the spirit laughs for what it has found. Sufi proverb Before I came into this program, I had thrown God out the window. In fact, I was plain angry at Him. Where was He when my only brother was killed in a car accident, when my only nephews were lost to me for many years as a result? Where was He when my parents died, when I went through my ugly divorce, when my step-son committed suicide, or when I had two major car accidents? I didn't know how to deal with all the feelings around the grief, loss and pain. I was spiritually bereft, although I didn't know it then. All I knew was that I was depressed a lot of the time, and had this great big hole in my soul that I had to keep feeding so I wouldn't have to feel the pain or deal with anything in my life. But the truth was that no amount of food could relieve that constant ache, and all that happened was that I felt more and more fat, bloated and miserable. The food that was supposed to take away all the pain of living was really causing me more pain. When I came into program and heard the three letter word, God, I nearly ran away. I'm a very rational, logical person so it was really hard for me to believe what these crazy people were saying, but I was desperate enough to keep coming back. I had to act as if I did believe that I could recover and that a Higher Power might help me. When the miracles started to happen, my faith began to develop, and I slowly realized that my Higher Power was always with me. I now have a far better way to fill that hole in my soul, and it is a far more satisfying and saner way than filling it with mountains of food. One Day at a Time . . . I pray to keep my Higher Power in my heart and in my soul, because if I do, my life will be enriched immeasurably in ways that food could never do. ~ Sharon S.~ ***************************************** AA 'Big Book' - Quote We are convinced to a man that alcoholics of our type are in the grip of a progressive illness. Over any considerable period we get worse, never better. - Pg. 30 - More About Alcoholism Hour To Hour - Book - Quote Many people in meetings will talk about having a spiritual awakening or experience regarding recovery. These awakenings come in many forms, some in a flash of lightening, some in the slow revelation of sobriety. Whatever way it comes for you will be in your best interests. Help me accept whatever awakening is right for me, so that I am not wishing for the experience of another but content with my own. I Am Whole Today, I see that my life is up to me. How I choose to live, what I will accomplish, how I conduct my intimate relationships, how I treat myself, all are in my own hands. I am no longer afraid that pain and anxiety will return me to a state of helplessness and vulnerability. Let it come; I am ready to meet it head-on. I am strong in the awareness that I can live as I choose to live. I have been willing to walk a path of recovery that, though difficult, has built a strength in me and a knowledge that I can survive my most painful feelings. I do not need to be afraid of my life if I am not afraid of myself or an emotional death. I have met and tamed the monsters that live inside me. I am comfortable in my own skin. I am free to be who I am. - Tian Dayton PhD Pocket Sponsor - Book - Quote 'When one door closes another door opens, but we so often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door, that we do not see the new worlds which open for us.' ~Alexander Graham Bell God wants for me what I would want for myself, IF I had all the facts. "Walk Softly and Carry a Big Book" - Book If you must talk about others, speak as though they were standing next to you. Time for Joy - Book - Quote I am okay about me today and that is terrific. Alkiespeak - Book - Quote Sober: Son Of A ***** Everything's Real. - Mickey B.
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AA gives us an opportunity to recreate ourselves, with God's help, one day at a time. --Rufus K. When you get to the end of your rope, tie a knot and hang on. --Franklin D. Roosevelt We stay sober and clean together - one day at a time! God says that each of us is worth loving. |
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December 2
Daily Reflections SERENITY Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, . . . TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, p. 106 As I continued to go to meetings and work the Steps, something began to happen to me. I felt confused because I wasn't sure what it was that I was feeling, and then I realized I was experiencing serenity. It was a good feeling, but where had it come from? Then I realized it had come ". . .as the result of these steps." The program may not always be easy to practice, but I had to acknowledge that my serenity had come to me after working the Steps. As I work the Steps in everything I do, practicing these principles in all my affairs, now I find that I am awake to God, to others, and to myself. The spiritual awakening I have enjoyed as the result of working the Steps is the awareness that I am no longer alone. ************************************************** ********* Twenty-Four Hours A Day A.A. Thought For The Day The thoughts that come before having a slip seem to be partly subconscious. And yet it is likely that at least part of these thoughts get into our consciousness. An idle thought connected with drinking casually pops into our mind. That is the crucial moment. Will I harbor that thought even for one minute or will I banish it from my mind at once? If I let it stay, it may develop into a daydream. I may begin to see a cool glass of beer or a Manhattan cocktail in my mind's eye. If I allow the daydream to stay in my mind, it may lead to a decision, however unconscious, to take a drink. Then I am headed for a slip. Do I let myself daydream? Meditation For The Day Many of us have a sort of vision of the kind of person God wants us to be. We must be true to that vision, whatever it is, and we must try to live up to it, by living the way we believe we should live. We can all believe that God has a vision of what He wants us to be like. In all people there is a good person whom God sees in us, the person we could be and that God would like us to be. But many a person fails to fulfill that promise and God's disappointments must be many. Prayer For The Day I pray that I may strive to be the kind of a person that God would have me be. I pray that I may try to fulfill God's vision of what I could be. ************************************************** ********* As Bill Sees It Renew Your Effort, p. 68 "Though I know how hurt and sorry you must be after this slip, please do not worry about a temporary loss of your inner peace. As calmly as you can, just renew your effort in the A.A. program, especially those parts of it which have to do with meditation and self-analysis. "Could I also suggest that you look at excessive guilt for what it is? Nothing but a sort of reverse pride. A decent regret for what has happened is fine. But guilt--no. "Indeed, the slip could well have been brought about by unreasonable feelings of guilt because of other moral failures, so called. Surely, you ought to look into this possibility. Even here you should not blame yourself for failure; you can be penalized only for refusing to try for better things." Letter, 1958 ************************************************** ********* Walk In Dry Places Bringing Projects to Completion. Fortitude Starting projects without completing them can be part of our alcoholic nature. It's related to immaturity and a tendency to become bored and discouraged quickly. The 12 Step program can help us overcome this problem. First, we realize and admit to such tendencies, fearlessly facing what has really been a very bad habit. Then we become honest about our motives. We realize that we didn't actually have the abiding interest that would have helped us complete some projects. In such cases, the projects never should have been started... and in the future we'll take are not to embark on similar projects. When something does need to be completed, the program will help us stay with it until it's done. We will always find that the satisfaction of completing a necessary project will be part of sober living. We'll also know that we're growing in the program. I'll take the necessary steps today to move any project toward completion. This will also help with future projects. ************************************************** ********* Keep It Simple ...we tried to carry this message to alcoholics...--Second part of Step 12. In this part of Step 12, we carry the message of hope. But it's not up to us if anyone accepts the message or not. This keeps us from playing God. We just gently deliver the message. We don't force the program down people's throats. In general, Step Twelve tells us, “Be helpful to those we can help.” When a neighbor is sick, mow her lawn. When a friend is in the hospital, visit him. Step Twelve reminds us that we make a difference. We have hope to give the world. And hope is what we stand for to the addict who still suffers. Hope is what we stand for to the addict's family. How beautiful to stand for hope! Remember when our lives stood for despair?? What a change! Prayer for the Day: Higher Power, help me shine brightly as a symbol of Your hope. Action for the Day: Today, I'll help someone in need. It may be an alcoholic or other drug addict, or just someone in need. I'll help make the world a better place. ************************************************** ********* Each Day a New Beginning The old woman I shall become will be quite different from the woman I am now. Another I is beginning . . . --George Sand Change is constant. And we are always becoming. Each chance, each feeling, each responsibility we commit ourselves to adds to the richness of our womanhood. We are not yesterday's woman, today. Our new awarenesses have brought us beyond her. And we can't go back without knowing, somehow, that she no longer meets the needs of today. We can look forward to our changes, to the older woman we are becoming. She will have the wisdom that we still lack. She will have learned to live and let live. She will have acquired, through years of experiences, a perspective that lends sanity to all situations. The lessons we are learning today, the pain that overwhelms us now and again, are nurturing the developing woman within each of us. If only we could accept the lessons and master them. If only we could trust the gift of change that accompanies the pain. I am becoming. And with the becoming, comes peace. I can sense it today. I know where I was yesterday. ************************************************** ********* Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition Chapter 8 - TO WIVES You and your husband will find that you can dispose of serious problems easier than you can the trivial ones. Next time you and he have a heated discussion, no matter what the subject, it should be the privilege of either to smile and say, “This is getting serious. I’m sorry I got disturbed. Let’s talk about it later.” If your husband is trying to live on a spiritual basis, he will also be doing everything in his power to avoid disagreement or contention. p. 118 ************************************************** ********* Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition Stories LISTENING TO THE WIND - It took an "angel" to introduce this Native American woman to A.A. and recovery. My life is filled with honesty today. Every action, word, prayer, and Twelfth Step call is an investment in my spiritual freedom and fulfillment. I am in love and proud to be a Native American. At an A.A. meeting on an Indian reservation, I heard the words "Sobriety is traditional." I stand at the top of the sacred mountain, and I listen to the wind. I have a conscious daily contact with my Creator today, and He loves me. Everything is sacred as a result of the Twelve Steps and the love and recovery in Alcoholics Anonymous. p. 469 ************************************************** ********* Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions Step Five - "Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs." Yet if A.A.'s experience means anything at all, this is not only unwise, but is actually a perilous resolve. Few muddled attitudes have caused us more trouble than holding back on Step Five. Some people are unable to stay sober at all; others will relapse periodically until they really clean house. Even A.A. old timers, sober for years, often pay dearly for skimping this Step. They will tell how they tried to carry the load alone; how much they suffered of irritability, anxiety, remorse, and depression; and how, unconsciously seeking relief, they would sometimes accuse even their best friends of the very character defects they themselves were trying to conceal. They always discovered that relief never came by confessing the sins of other people. Everybody had to confess his own. p. 56 ************************************************** ********* Destroying pride -- man becomes endearing; Destroying anger -- man gets rid of sorrow; Destroying desire -- man acquires peace; Destroying greed -- man achieves happiness. --Satya Sai Baba Whoever seeks God . . . has already found God. --unknown It's never too late to begin making an effort. --unknown When you find yourself rundown from life, pace yourself and take a refreshing break. --unknown BIG BOOK – Believing In God Beats Our Old Knowledge WILLING – When I Live Life, I Need God ************************************************** ********* Father Leo's Daily Meditation PROBLEMS "The certainties of one age are the problems of the next." -- R. H. Tawney Life is a process of change that inevitably produces problems; the fear of the new, the discomfort of old values being seen to be wrong, the confusion that so often accompanies growth. Problems are part of life and we can only escape them in death. (Even then nobody can be sure we will be free of problems!) As an alcoholic I tried to run away from my problems by drinking. But the next day the old problems were still there and my drinking had usually brought new problems. Alcohol only produced a momentary escape but reality always returned. Today, with the acceptance of my alcoholism and my decision not to "pick up the first drink", I face my problems. I deal with my problems. I live with the problems of life. Teach me to accept joyously the problems that life and growth inevitably bring. ************************************************** ********* "But blessed are your eyes because they see, and your ears because they hear." Matthew 13:16 "Keep your lives free from the love of money and be content with what you have, because God has said, 'Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you.'" Hebrews 13:5 ************************************************** ********* Daily Inspiration Life will be so much easier if you can accept that things don't always go as planned and see that these are often magnificent opportunities. Lord, help me learn from the occurences of today that seem to go awry and show me how to make the situation better through my own flexibility and creativity. Enthusiasm keeps the mind young and the spirit growing. Lord, may I always see wonder in the ordinary happenings of my day. ************************************************** ********* NA Just For Today Recovery: Our First Priority "We have to keep our recovery first and our priorities in order." Basic Text pg. 79 Before coming to NA, we used many excuses to justify our use of drugs: "He yelled at me" "She said this." "My partner left." "I got fired." We used these same excuses for not seeking help for our drug problem. We had to realize that these things kept happening because we kept using drugs. Only when we made recovery our first priority did these situations begin to change. We may be subject to the same tendency today, using excuses for not attending meetings and being of service. Our current excuses may be of a different nature: "I can't leave my kids." "My vacation wore me out." "I have to finish this project so I can impress my boss." But still, if we don't make recovery our first priority, chances are that we won't have to worry about these excuses anymore. Kids, vacations, and jobs probably won't be in our lives if we relapse. Our recovery must come first. Job or no job, relationship or no relationship, we have to attend meetings, work the steps, call our sponsor, and be of service to God and others. These simple actions are what make it possible for us to have vacations, families, and bosses to worry about. Recovery is the foundation of our lives, making everything else possible. Just for today: I will keep my priorities in order. Number One on the list is my recovery. ************************************************** ********* You are reading from the book Today's Gift. When one is a stranger to oneself, then one is estranged from others, too. --Anne Morrow Lindbergh There's a person inside each of us just itching to be known and loved. But if we don't get to know and love that person, how can we expect anyone else to know us? That's why it's so important to spend time alone getting acquainted with ourselves. And how do we do that? We can sit quietly with ourselves, thinking and listening. Then we can write our thoughts in a journal, or we can draw or paint them. If we play a musical instrument, we can put our thoughts and feelings into music. When we make the time and effort to know ourselves, it encourages others to want to know us, too. Since everything we do and feel begins inside us, we must feel good about ourselves in order to feel good about anything else. What wonders we are, that we have all the power we need to make our world a happy one! How do I feel about myself today? You are reading from the book Touchstones. The management assumes no responsibility for what is found. --Abraham Maslow There are so many occasions when we would like to blame somebody--wife, child, parent, or "the management," for our feelings. When we get frustrated, overworked, or angry, we want somebody else to take responsibility. In truth, each of us has his own path and is responsible for his feelings. One man said that living alone made it clear to him that his wife wasn't creating his feelings. Until then he thought she was responsible. This blaming and not taking responsibility keep a man in the role of victim. When we accept the difficult message that our feelings are ours to deal with and no one else's, self-improvement begins. We begin to walk the difficult but self respecting path of spiritual awakening. We can do something about whatever hurts. Even in that awakening there are no guarantees that who we are will be totally what we want to find. Our only guarantee is that our Higher Power is with us to deal with the realities of our lives. Today, help me be responsible for what I feel and do. You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning. The old woman I shall become will be quite different from the woman I am now. Another I is beginning . . . --George Sand Change is constant. And we are always becoming. Each chance, each feeling, each responsibility we commit ourselves to adds to the richness of our womanhood. We are not yesterday's woman, today. Our new awarenesses have brought us beyond her. And we can't go back without knowing, somehow, that she no longer meets the needs of today. We can look forward to our changes, to the older woman we are becoming. She will have the wisdom that we still lack. She will have learned to live and let live. She will have acquired, through years of experiences, a perspective that lends sanity to all situations. The lessons we are learning today, the pain that overwhelms us now and again, are nurturing the developing woman within each of us. If only we could accept the lessons and master them. If only we could trust the gift of change that accompanies the pain. I am becoming. And with the becoming, comes peace. I can sense it today. I know where I was yesterday. You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go. Putting Our Life on Hold We cannot afford to put our needs on hold, waiting for another person to fulfill us, make our life better, or come around and be who and what we want that person to be. That will create resentment, hostility, an unhealthy dependency, and a mess to deal with later on. If we have decided we want a particular relationship or want to wait about making a decision in a particular relationship, then we must go on with our own life in the interim. That can be hard. It can feel natural to put our life on hold. That is when we get caught up in the codependent beliefs: That person can make me happy... I need that particular person to do a particular thing in order to be happy.... That's a circumstance that can hook our low self-esteem, our self-doubt, and our tendency to neglect ourselves. We can get into this situation in a number of ways. We can do this waiting for a letter, waiting for a job, waiting for a person, waiting for an event. We do not have to put our life on hold. There will be repercussions from doing this. Go on with your life. Take life a day at a time. What is something I could be doing now to take care of myself, make myself feel better, get my needs met in an appropriate, healthy way? How can I own my power to take care of myself, despite what the other person is or isn't doing? What will happen if I break the system and begin taking care of myself? Sometimes, we get the answer we want immediately. Sometimes, we wait for a while. Sometimes, things don't work out exactly the way we hoped. But they always work out for good, and often better than we expected. And in the meantime, we have manifested love for ourselves by living our own life and taking the control away from others. That always comes back to us tenfold, because when we actually manifest love for ourselves, we give our Higher Power, other people, and the Universe permission to send us the love we want and need. Stopping living our life to make a thing happen doesn't work. All it does is make us miserable, because we have stopped living our life. Today, I will force myself, if necessary, to live my own life. I will act in my own best interest, in a way that reflects self-love. If I have given power or control of my life to someone other than myself, and someone besides a Power greater than myself, I will take it back. I will begin acting in my own best interests, even if it feels awkward to do that. No matter what is going on in my life today, I can always find something for which to be grateful. When I stop and think about this and make a gratitude list, there is no room for depression or self pity. There is so much to be grateful for today. --Ruth Fishel *************************************** Journey To The Heart Learn to Visualize Your Path Learn to visualize what you would like to see happen in your life. Use your mind and your imagination, in connection with your heart, to create a picture of the future. Visions can help create our future and guide us down the path. If we have a picture of where we’re going, it will help us know when we get there. It will help us know we’re on track. At times, we find ourselves easily using our imaginations to create a clear picture. We can see ourselves doing something a particular way, comfortably functioning in a particular situation. We can see how what we’re working on is going to look. We can see ourselves living in a particular place, working at a particular job, or vacationing at that special spot. We know clearly what we want. Other times, our vision may not be as clear. We may have only a few vague ideas about how a thing or place will look. We need to focus our attention and create as clear a picture as we can. Making a list of all we know about what we’d like it to be helps here. Other times, we may be completely in the dark without a clue about where we’re going. That doesn’t mean we can’t get there or that there is no place for us to go. It means that we need to ask God, the universe, to help us become clear on what would be good, clear enough so we can recognize the answer when it comes. Learn to use your imagination to create the life you want. Take time at the beginning to develop a vision, an idea about what you want. Visualize how you would like things to be. Then let your vision guide you where you need to go. *************************************** More Language Of Letting Go The lesson is joy I was visiting a counselor in Minnesota one cold January day in 1991. We were talking about the present and speculating about the lessons to come. She grabbed my hand and looked at me, looked right into my eyes. “This I know for sure,” she said. “You’ve been through enough pain. Now you’re going to learn about joy.” One week later, my son Shane died. Mixed in with my grief was rage. I was so angry with her for saying that. It was another instance of getting my hopes up that I could finally be happy. Now, I felt tricked and let down. The years passed slowly. I lost almost everything, including my desire to write. Nichole graduated from high school. Then she moved out of the house, and to New York. Life kept changing and moving along, in spite of how I felt. One year I noticed that the anniversary of Shane’s death had passed, and I hadn’t become depressed. Then I began to notice something else. I was beginning to feel alive, vibrant, awestruck with life. It wasn’t a naive assumption that whatever I wanted, I’d get. It was a newfound ability to surrender to each moment and enjoy what life brought my way. I made new friends. My relationships with old friends changed. What inspired me was my new relationship with life. I stopped looking for outward circumstances to provide me with happiness. I began to see that I held that key myself. If you’re going through something in your life that isn’t what you planned, a transformation is at hand. While we might prefer to be transformed in the twinkling of an eye, it usually doesn’t happen that fast. It takes all the moments added together, and sometimes those moments go on and on. But one day when you least expect it– a phoenix rises from the ashes. That phoenix is you. Some of us encounter a lot of pain. Some of us have less. If I could sit across from you right now, I’d look into your eyes and say these words to you: “I know you’ve been through a lot. But there’s a new cycle coming. You’re going to learn about joy.” Life is going to take you on your own journey of personal transformation. You may have let go of some things. But don’t worry, you’ll get some of those things back. And sometimes when we think something is lost, it’s not. It’s just moved to a different place. No pain, no gain, is what many people say. And usually they say that because when the lesson is learned, the pain stops. But then something happens. It just clicks in. The moments start getting better and better. And it’s not because of what we get. It happens because we’ve surrendered. And although it looks like what we’ve surrendered to is pain and heartache, we’ve really surrendered to God’s will. There’s a world out there– right outside your door. And the key that opens the door is in your hand. The ultimate lesson is learning joy. Put your fears aside. Live your life, whatever that means to you today. It may happen today, tomorrow, next week, or in ten years. but you won’t be able to help yourself. You’ll throw your hat up in the air, look around, and shout, “Oh my God, how sweet life is.” God, help me get through my lessons, one by one. Then bring me to that place where I learn about joy. *************************************** Choosing Not To Be a Target Emotional Attacks Hurtful confrontations often leave us feeling drained and confused. When someone attacks us emotionally, we may wonder what we did to rouse their anger, and we take their actions personally. We may ask ourselves what we could have done to compel them to behave or speak that way toward us. It’s important to remember that there are no real targets in an emotional attack and that it is usually a way for the attacker to redirect their uncomfortable feelings away from themselves. When people are overcome by strong emotions, like hurt or anguish, they may see themselves as victims and lash out at others as a means of protection or to make themselves feel better. You may be able to shield yourself from an emotional attack by not taking the behavior personally. First, however, it is good to cultivate a state of detachment that can provide you with some protection from the person who is attacking you. This will allow you to feel compassion for this person and remember that their beha! vior isn’t as much about you as it is about their need to vent their emotions. If you have difficulty remaining unaffected by someone’s behavior, take a moment to breathe deeply and remind yourself that you didn’t do anything wrong, and you aren’t responsible for people’s feelings. If you can see that this person is indirectly expressing a need to you—whether they are reaching out for help or wanting to be heard—you may be able to diffuse the attack by getting them to talk about what is really bothering them. You cannot control other people’s emotions, but you can control your own. If you sense yourself responding to their negativity, try not to let yourself. Keep your heart open to them, and they may let go of their defensiveness and yield to your compassion and openness. Published with permission from Daily OM *************************************** A Day At A Time Reflection For The Day Once at a meeting held in a church, I saw a stained glass window on which was written, “God Is Love.” For some reason, my mind transposed the words into “Love Is God.” Either way is correct and true, I realized, looking about me and becoming even more conscious of the spirit of love and Power in the small meeting room. I’ll continue to seek out that love and Power, following The Program as if my life depended upon it — as indeed it does. Does life to me today mean living — in the active sense — joyously and comfortably? Today I Pray May I feel the spirit of love that gives our prayers their energy. May I feel the oneness in this room, the concentration of love that gives the group its power. May I feel the exemplary love of a Higher Power, which our love echoes. Today I Will Remember Love Is God. *************************************** One More Day Habituation is a falling asleep or fatiguing of the sense of time; which explains why young years pass slowly, while later life finds itself faster and faster upon its course. –Thomas Mann Our routines can become so rote that we’re unaware of making choices. Suddenly, we realize we haven’t done many of the things which matter most to us. With this realization comes another: sometimes making no choice is, in fact a choice in the same things, saying the same words, living a copy of the day before – we have chosen to live safely. But we may think, I wish I had… We don’t have to completely change our lives in order to make better choices for ourselves. All we have to do is see all the choices open to us. What and how I choose makes every day different from the last. ************************************ Food For Thought Guilt It was often a feeling of guilt, which led us to overeat, and the more we overate, the guiltier we felt. A Fourth Step inventory can pinpoint the reasons for the guilt that we still experience, and by taking the Fifth Step we are able to express and release this guilt. Some of our guilt feelings are unnecessary. We may experience a sense of guilt when we say no to requests and demands, which infringe on our legitimate rights. We may feel guilty when we do not live up to the expectations of someone close to us. We need to develop a strong sense of self worth so that we do not suffer from guilt at not conforming to someone else's image of who we should be. Working our program relieves us of unnecessary guilt. When we make amends to those we have in fact injured, we are freed from a heavy burden of real guilt. When we experience confirmation of who we are through contact with our Higher Power, we are liberated from the constraint of imagined guilt. Show us how to deal with guilt. ***************************************** One Day At A Time FAITH I try to avoid looking forward or backward, and try to keep looking upward. Charlotte Bronte If only I would remember to keep my focus on God and today, not yesterday and not tomorrow. The past is just that ... the past. I can't change any of it, the good memories or the bad. They are just memories. I don't have to forget my past; I just have to stop hurting myself by constantly agonizing over what I consider mistakes and failures. Tomorrow is in God's hands. What better place for it to be! I have to learn to trust God to hold me in the palm of His hands, the same way He holds tomorrow. He isn't going to drop me or close His fist around me so tightly that I can't breathe. We are all created with the ability to make choices, and He gives us that freedom. He will hold us securely, and help us make the right choices, if only we let go and let Him. One day at a time . . . I will forget yesterday and tomorrow. I will not look backward or forward. I will look up and put myself in God's care, knowing He will hold me safely in the palm of His hand. Debbie K. ***************************************** AA 'Big Book' - Quote The man in the bed was told of the acute poisoning from which he suffered, how it deteriorates the body of an alcoholic and warps his mind. There was much talk about the mental state preceding the first drink. - Pg. 157 - A Vision For You Hour To Hour - Book - Quote We always wanted our image to be so good, yet we always seemed to come off bad. No amount of mind-affecting chemicals ever made us come off good, either. They just made us think we were OK. But there is nothing so bad right now, that a fix, pill, drink, smoke, or snort won't make it worse. May I clearly see that drugs only provided an illusion of good time, not the real thing. Hesitation Today, I will walk the walk and talk the talk. It will not be good for me, ultimately, to half commit myself. In a way, the particular path that I take is less significant than that I take a path. I can second-guess myself and my experience. Commitment to a path is really commitment to myself. I am allowing myself to take a clear direction, one in which I can actualize my talents on a day-to-day basis, one that will allow me to build a foundation and a structure in which I can live. I will have a passion in life, a passion that takes me beyond myself, a passion to love, nourish, be led and challenged by. I will follow it, and it will follow me. I deserve a passion in my life. - Tian Dayton PhD Pocket Sponsor - Book - Quote There are a lot more reasons for working the Ninth Step than freedom, serenity, and moral responsibility. Making amends is a good way of having the last word. I take my program seriously and myself lightly. "Walk Softly and Carry a Big Book" - Book Thinking about what you'll say before you share, or what you should have said after you share means you missed the meeting. Time for Joy - Book - Quote No matter what is going on in my life today, I can always find something for which to be grateful. When I stop and think about this and make a gratitude list, there is no room for depression or self pity. There is so much to be grateful for today. Alkiespeak - Book - Quote I know if I take a drink, I'm gone. It's going to just keep feeding itself. But I secretly suspected that everybody who drinks must surely get that same fired-up feeling and want more, but because they don't have a problem with it they can control it. But in the AA Big Book Dr. Silkworth says that's not true; non alcoholics never experience that phenomenon of craving. - Bob D.
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December 3
Daily Reflections IN ALL OUR AFFAIRS . . . . we tried to carry this message to alcoholics, and to practice these principles in all our affairs. TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, p. 106 I find that carrying the message of recovery to other alcoholics is easy because it helps me to stay sober and it provides me with a sense of well-being about my own recovery. The hard part is practicing these principles in all my affairs. It is important that I share the benefits I receive from A.A., especially at home. Doesn't my family deserve the same patience, tolerance and understanding I so readily give to the alcoholic? When reviewing my day I try to ask, "Did I have a chance to be a friend today and miss it?" " Did I have a chance to rise above a nasty situation and avoid it?" "Did I have a chance to say 'I'm sorry,' and refuse to?" Just as I ask God for help with my alcoholism each day, I ask for help in extending my recovery to include all situations and all people! ************************************************** ********* Twenty-Four Hours A Day A.A. Thought For The Day There is some alcoholic thought, conscious or unconscious, that comes before every slip. As long as we live, we must be on the lookout for such thoughts and guard against them. In fact, our A.A. training is mostly to prepare us, to make us ready to recognize such thoughts at once and to reject them at once. The slip comes when we allow such thoughts to remain in our minds, even before we go through the motions of lifting the glass to our lips. The A.A. program is largely one of mental training. How well is my mind prepared? Meditation For The Day Fret not your mind with puzzles you cannot solve. The solutions may never be shown to you until you have left this life. The loss of dear ones, the inequality of life, the deformed and the maimed, and many other puzzling things may not be known to you until you reach the life beyond. "I have yet many things to say unto you, but ye cannot hear them now." Only step by step, stage by stage, can you proceed in your journey into greater knowledge and understanding. Prayer For The Day I pray that I may be content that things which I now see darkly will some day be made clear. I pray that I may have faith that someday I will see face to face. ************************************************** ********* As Bill Sees It The "Slipper" Needs Understanding, p. 99 "Slips can often be charged to rebellion; some of us are more rebellious than others. Slips may be due to the illusion that one can be 'cured' of alcoholism. Slips can also be charged to carelessness and complacency. Many of us fail to ride out these periods sober. Things go fine for two or three years--then the member is seen no more. Some of us suffer extreme guilt because of vices or practices that we can't or won't let go of. Too little self-forgiveness and too little prayer--well, this combination adds up to slips. "Then some of us are far more alcohol-damaged than others. Still others encounter a series of calamities and cannot seem to find the spiritual resources to meet them. There are those of us who are physically ill. Others are subject to more or less continuous exhaustion, anxiety, and depression. These conditions often play a part in slips--sometimes they are utterly controlling." Talk, 1960 ************************************************** ********* Walk In Dry Places Raising the frustration threshold Achievement What happens when we hit snags in our lives? In drinking, it was a common practice to chuck everything and just get drunk. This always made things worse, sometimes so much so that we forgot about the problem that triggered our frustrations. Dealing with frustration is another part of growing up emotionally. Self-understanding in sobriety will help us detect surges of anger and irritation when things aren't going as planned. We'll recognize these feelings as being the same emotions that plagued us in our drinking days. In sobriety, however, we are given choices. We actually do have the choice of pausing, letting the anger drain away, and then taking charge of the situation by knowing that God is working along with us. By doing this, we can eventually raise our threshold of frustration. If some task or issue makes me angry today, I'll back off and place the outcome in God's hands. I'll know this is working when I have a change in feeling about it. ************************************************** ********* Keep It Simple And to practice these principles in all our affairs. Third part of Step Twelve. This is a statement about us. We are now people of values. These values reflect our spiritual growth. We know how to help others. We know how to admit our wrongs. We know how to look at ourselves and change our defects. We know how to live an honest life. Step Twelve tells us. "Go use these tools for better living. Go be all you can be. Enjoy life and live a life you can be proud of." Step Twelve also tells us about how to have loving relationships. By the time we complete Step Twelve, we make or regain many relationships. The most important one is with our Higher Power. As we grow in the program, we realize all our relationships are spiritual gifts. Prayer for the Day: Higher Power, I now have one face instead of many masks. Help me be a person who will stand before You with pride, not shame. Action for the Day: Today, I'll talk with a friend and talk about my new values. I will talk about how much my life has changed. ************************************************** ********* Each Day a New Beginning Sometimes, sisters have the same journey in their hearts. One may help the other or betray her. Will they cross over? Will the ship sail without them? --Louise Bernikow Other women share our struggle. When we treat our women friends as sisters and fellow pilgrims, we find great joy in our mutual help. We pray for the wisdom to let go our feelings of insecurity and rivalry with other women. Rivalry is not good for us. It leads us to forget our own unique qualities. We each are the best person in the world at one thing: being ourselves. When we compete, we need to retain a balanced perspective and to think well of ourselves whether we win or lose. We run the best race we can; therefore, let us not regard other women as rivals. They are our sisters, and they, too, are doing the best they can. Today, I will pray for the serenity that will let me see when my sisters have the same journey in their hearts as I. ************************************************** ********* Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition Chapter 8 - TO WIVES Your husband knows he owes you more than sobriety. He wants to make good. Yet you must not expect too much. His ways of thinking and doing are the habits of years. Patience, tolerance, understanding and love are the watchwords. Show him these things in yourself and they will be reflected back to you from him. Live and let live is the rule. If you both show a willingness to remedy your own defects, there will be little need to criticize each other. p. 118 ************************************************** ********* Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition Stories TWICE GIFTED - Diagnosed with cirrhosis, this sick alcoholic got sobriety--plus a lifesaving liver transplant. Today is Sunday, my favorite day of the week. Things are usually peaceful, and I always get that wonderfully humbling, it's amazing to be alive, feeling. I am happy to say that very few days go by without that feeling. p. 470 ************************************************** ********* Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions Step Five - "Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs." This practice of admitting one's defects to another person is, of course, very ancient. It has been validated in every century, and it characterizes the lives of all spiritually centered and truly religious people. But today religion is by no means the sole advocate of this saving principle. Psychiatrists and psychologists point out the deep need every human being has for practical insight and knowledge of his own personality flaws and for a discussion of them with an understanding and trustworthy person. So far as alcoholics are concerned, A.A. would go even further. Most of us would declare that without a fearless admission of our defects to another human being we could not stay sober. It seems plain that the grace of God will not enter to expel our destructive obsessions until we are willing to try this. pp. 56-57 ************************************************** ********* Joy increases as you give it, and diminishes as you try to keep it for yourself. In giving it, you will accumulate a deposit of joy greater than you ever believed possible. --Norman Vincent Peale A smooth sea never made a skilled mariner. --English Proverb "History has demonstrated that the most notable winners usually encountered heartbreaking obstacles before they triumphed. They won because they refused to become discouraged by their defeats." --B. C. Forbes "Spend unbroken chunks of time with the most important people in your life." --Brian Tracy "Forget past mistakes. Forget failures. Forget everything except what you're going to do now and do it." --William Durant ************************************************** ********* Father Leo's Daily Meditation WONDER "Wonder rather than doubt is the root of knowledge." -- Abraham Heschel Living with paradox is part of my sobriety. Things are never quite what they seem. When I think I have something figured out, I am made to be confused again especially around my life, relationships, people, events and the universe. Life is both simple and incomprehensible. God seems to demand an agnostic faith! There is so much I do not know or understand. But all of this leads to a creative and exciting sobriety. It makes life an adventure. It feeds that artistic part of me that is reborn in my sobriety. Things I used to dislike when I drank, I now enjoy. People and writers that once bored me now fascinate me; even modern art has a spiritual message! O God, let the feelings of amazement always be a part of my faith. ************************************************** ********* "For you were formerly darkness, but now you are light in the Lord; walk as children of light." Ephesians 5:8 "Wherefore, accept one another, just as Christ also accepted us to the glory of God." Romans 15:7 "For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life." John 3:16 "God has given gifts to each of you from His great variety of spiritual gifts. Manage them well so that God's generosity can flow through you." 1 Peter 4:10 ************************************************** ********* Daily Inspiration Allow your mind to become quiet and less judgmental and you will feel improvements in all areas of your life. Lord, help my mind avoid twisting the words I hear and misjudging the intentions of others in order to justify my own righteousness. Help me to spread Your peace. There is not one moment that we are separated from God's care unless we choose to be. Lord, You provide for my daily needs and deliver me from evil. You are my refuge. ************************************************** ********* NA Just For Today Vision Without Limits "Perhaps for the first time, we see a vision of our new life." Basic Text pg. 34 In our addiction, our vision of ourselves was very limited. Each day, we went through the same routine: getting, using, and finding ways and means to get more. And that's all we could reasonably expect for the duration of our lives. Our potential was limited. Today, our prospects are changed. Recovery has given us a new vision of ourselves and our lives. We are no longer trapped in the endlessly gray routine of addiction. We are free to stretch ourselves in new ways, trying out new ideas and new activities. In doing so, we come to see ourselves in a new way. Our potential is limited only by the strength of the Higher Power that cares for us - and that strength has no limits. In recovery, life and everything in it appears open to us. Guided by our spiritual principles, driven by the power given us by the God of our understanding, our horizons are limitless. Just for today: I will open my eyes to the possibilities before me. My potential is as limitless and as powerful as the God of my understanding. Today, I will act on that potential. ************************************************** ********* You are reading from the book Today's Gift. I wonder if the snow loves the trees and fields that it kisses them so gently. --Lewis Carroll In different times and places, clouds can produce snowflakes, raindrops, or even hailstones. Each one seems to have its own purpose and mood as it falls from the sky. The snowflake is the lightest of these, and so it falls slowly and softly. Rainfall can be soft or hard. It sometimes feels angry, almost cleansing. No matter how thick the snowfall is, it is still soft. We can rarely hear it land. It covers the world in a peaceful white. If we look closely, we can see that each small snowflake is unique. Like the snowflakes, each of us has a unique design. Perhaps what we can learn from the snowflakes is how to gently touch the lives and growing things around us. Times of anger and rain are necessary, but a soft snowfall brings peace to all humanity. How can I show my gentle side today? You are reading from the book Touchstones. Sometimes I go about pitying myself, and all the time I am being carried, on great winds across the sky. --Ojibway "Ah, poor me," we sometimes say, "I have to work so hard!" "I have so much stress!" "If only my problem with money would get better, then I could be content!" "I just don't understand women!" "Why can't my family have fewer troubles?" This attitude of self-pity is as ancient as humanity. The Ojibway recognized blindness to the spiritual path. Every man has problems and challenges, and life often is not fair. Self-pity becomes a stumbling block when we get so narrowly focused upon our problems. We forget we are a part of a whole throng of fellow pilgrims on this path. It helps to notice others beside ourselves who are seeking courage to live their lives. Sometimes we reawaken our awareness of our Higher Power by seeing that we are "carried on great winds across the sky." We have many blessings; we are not alone. Often within problems we discover our greatest blessings. God, help me find the spiritual path in the choices I make today. Help me turn away from self-pity. You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning. Sometimes, sisters have the same journey in their hearts. One may help the other or betray her. Will they cross over? Will the ship sail without them? --Louise Bernikow Other women share our struggle. When we treat our women friends as sisters and fellow pilgrims, we find great joy in our mutual help. We pray for the wisdom to let go our feelings of insecurity and rivalry with other women. Rivalry is not good for us. It leads us to forget our own unique qualities. We each are the best person in the world at one thing: being ourselves. When we compete, we need to retain a balanced perspective and to think well of ourselves whether we win or lose. We run the best race we can; therefore, let us not regard other women as rivals. They are our sisters, and they, too, are doing the best they can. Today, I will pray for the serenity that will let me see when my sisters have the same journey in their hearts as I. You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go. Developing Healthy Tolerance Many of us are skilled at denying and discounting what hurts us. We may endure a particular situation, telling ourselves repeatedly it's not that bad; we shouldn't be so demanding; it'll change any day; we should be able to live with it; it doesn't annoy us; the other person didn't really mean it; it doesn't hurt; maybe it's just us. We may fight and argue with ourselves about the reality and validity of our pain - our right to feel it and do something about it. Often we will tolerate too much or so much that we become furious and refuse to tolerate any more. We can learn to develop healthy tolerance. We do that by setting healthy boundaries and trusting ourselves to own our power with people. We can lessen our pain and suffering by validating and paying attention to ourselves. We can work at shortening the time between identifying a need to set a boundary, and taking clear, direct action. We aren't crazy. Some behaviors really do bug us. Some behaviors really are inappropriate, annoying, hurtful, or abusive. We don't have to feel guilty about taking care of ourselves once we identify a boundary that needs to be set. Look at the experience as an experiment in owning our power, in establishing new, healthy boundaries and limits for ourselves. We don't have to feel guilty or apologize or explain ourselves after we've set a boundary. We can learn to accept the awkwardness and discomfort of setting boundaries with people. We can establish our rights to have these limits. We can give the other person room to have and explore his or her feelings; we can give ourselves room to have our feelings - as we struggle to own our power and create good, working relationships. Once we can trust our ability to take care of ourselves, we will develop healthy reasonable tolerance of others. God, help me begin striving for healthy boundaries and healthy tolerance for others and myself. I am beginning to trust myself today. There is a place deep within me that tells me that I am okay and guides me along my path in recovery. --Ruth Fishel *************************************** Journey To The Heart Let Go of Leftover Guilt Why do you feel guilty when you’re doing what you’ve been led to do? That nagging, gnawing feeling of guilt is leftovers– leftovers from another period when we didn’t love ourselves. It’s left over from another time when we didn’t trust ourselves. Left over from another place when we didn’t know life could be fun, easy, natural, and joy could be ours. Feeling guilty and anxious about that new thing you’re doing, that new place you’re going, that new adventure you’re on is part of your resistance to the lesson. Part of your shying back from the idea that you can truly, absolutely, and fundamentally love yourself and enjoy all parts of your life. Soon you will see that you’ve been led to the very place you’re at right now. The very thing you are feeling guilty and anxious about is the very thing you’ve been led to do to take you on your next adventure. Life is abundant. We can bask in self-love and the healing resources around us. Our movements, our activities, our days and hours and nights can flow easily. Naturally. And we can do the things we’re led to do without feeling guilty. Recognize the guilt and anxiety of resistance as just that: resistance. Then let yourself go on your journey of love without spoiling it with guilt. *************************************** More Language Of Letting Go Enjoy the void We begin to walk down a path– recovery, a new job, a new relationship. We’re busy, even overwhelmed, with everything that lies before us. We work and work and walk our path and grow. Then one day the relationship changes. The job changes. Or we’re far anough along to look past the next minute of sobriety and when we look, we can’t see anything. We get scared. Nothingness can be frightening. There’s no way to plan for the future. We can’t make the right move. We’re surrounded with decisions, and none of them feel like the right ones. Relax. Savor this moment,too. Stop trying to fill it up. You’re in the void, that magical place from which all creation arises. Breathe the air, look at the flowers, feel the sun. Or build a fire to keep you warm. There’s no need to be frightened of this place; there’s nothing you need to do. Keep walking your path, and the creative way will become clear to you soon. God, help me to let go of worry when I’m in the in-between places in my life. Help me to walk in peace and let the universe show me the path that I am to follow. Help me relax in this space and garner energy for the journey ahead. *************************************** Relating to the Negative The Danger of Repression by Madisyn Taylor When negative thoughts arise it is best to address them rather than pushing them down where they will surface again. For the last several years, there has been a lot of focus on the power of positive thinking. Many people have come to misinterpret this wisdom to mean that it is not okay to have a bad mood or a negative thought or feeling. This can lend a kind of superficiality to their relationship with life and relationships with other people. It can also lead them to feel that if a negative thought or feeling comes up, in themselves or someone else, they must immediately block it out. When they do this, they are engaging in the act of repressing a part of themselves that needs to seen, heard, and processed. When we repress parts of ourselves, they don’t go away so much as they get buried deep within us, and they often come out when we least expect it. On the other hand, if we allow ourselves to be fully human, honoring all the thoughts, feelings, and moods that pass through us on a given day, we create a more conscious relationship with ourselves. Instead of blocking out thoughts and feelings that we label as negative, we can simply observe them and then let them go. They only get stuck when we react to them negatively, pushing them down and out of sight where they get lodged in our unconscious minds. A healthier solution might be to develop a practice of following any negative thought we may have with a positive thought. This works well because positive thoughts are many times more powerful than negative thoughts. Rather than setting our minds up in such a way that we become fearful of the contents of our own consciousness, blocking out anything that is less than 100 percent positive, we might resolve to develop a friendlier attitude toward ourselves, trusting in our inherent goodness. When we recognize our true inner worth, a few dark clouds passing through our minds will not intimidate us. We will see them for what they are—small, dark figures passing through an expansive sky of well-being and truth. Published with permission from Daily OM *************************************** A Day At A Time Reflection For The Day Our ancient enemy, self-will, wears a mask, confronting me with this sort of rationalization: “Why do I have to lean on God? Hasn’t He already given me the intelligence to think for myself?” I have to pause when such thoughts creep into my mind, remembering that I’ve never really been able to bring about the results I wanted simply by relying on my own devices. I’m not self-sufficient, nor do I know all the answers; bitter experience alone teaches me that. Do I know that I need God’s guidance? Am I willing to accept it? Today I Pray I pray that, as I become stronger in my conviction and in my sobriety, I will not begin to shrug off my dependence on a Higher Power. May I continue to pray for guidance, even when things seem to be going along smoothly. May I know that I need my Higher Power as much in times of triumph as in times of trauma. Today I Will Remember Self-sufficiency is a godless myth. *************************************** One More Day Happiness is not being pained in body nor troubled in mind. -Thomas Jefferson Teenagers say it all the time: “Hey! Mellow Out! Hype down!” These words may be alien to us, but we can listen to these somewhat flippant admonitions. Perhaps we do get too tense at times during certain phases of our lives. Pain, anxiety, or stress can cause us to tighten our muscles, to brace our bodies against the impact of our medical problems. The tighter our bodies become, the less patient and kind we are to those we love. To help ourselves “mellow out” we first have to identify the feelings associated with tenseness. We can calm down by taking deep, slow, cleansing breaths. Let’s do ourselves a favor and learn to relax, to mellow out. By learning to let my body rest and relax, I can concentrate on keeping my mind free and untroubled. ************************************ Food For Thought Insanity The longer we maintain abstinence from compulsive overeating, the more we realize how insane we were before we found OA. Our withdrawal from people and reality into eating to excess was definitely not a sane way to live. As we work the Steps of this program, we see that many of our thoughts and attitudes were as insane as our destructive behavior. It is our Higher Power who restores us to sanity, but He requires our surrender and cooperation. We can actively seek out the people and experiences which are life enhancing rather than detrimental to our mental, emotional, physical, and spiritual well-being. The activities and associations, which went along with our compulsive overeating in the past, may have to be eliminated if we are to enjoy a sane, sober life in the present and future. Continuing to beat our heads against the brick walls of past failures is insanity. We have a new life to live, provided we relinquish the attitudes and behavior, which we now know to be insane. Preserve us from old insanities. ***************************************** One Day At A Time INTUITION Don't listen to friends when the Friend inside you says, "Do this!" Mahatma Gandhi The Oxford dictionary describes intuition as "immediate apprehension by the mind without reasoning." Well, I certainly never acted on intuition for most of my life because, in order for me to make any decision, it had to be based on cold hard logic. I would literally make a scientific "if - then hypothesis" based on all the possible consequences of any action I was contemplating, and by the time I'd looked into all the possible negative outcomes, I'd more than likely have talked myself out of it. Part of the problem was fear that if it didn't turn out well, I would not be taken care of. How could I trust that my Higher Power would take care of me, seeing I had for a long time been angry at God and believed that He was definitely not there for me? One of the miracles of the program has been my returning belief in a Higher Power who is always there for me when I need Him. I am slowly learning that I just need to turn my will and my life over to Him on a daily basis as it tells me in Step Three, and amazing things are beginning to happen. Because I wasn't able to do this for many years, I had blocked my intuition, which we are told is the way in which we are in direct contact with our Higher Power. Slowly, the intuitive thoughts are returning as I work on a daily relationship with my Higher Power, and I am now more able to act on them, knowing that I will always be taken care of. One Day at a Time . . . I will continue to turn my will and my life over to my Higher Power knowing that my connection with Him, my intuition, is getting stronger each day, and that I am more able to do God's will for today. ~ Sharon S. ***************************************** AA 'Big Book' - Quote For most normal folks, drinking means conviviality, companionship and colorful imagination. It means release from care, boredom and worry. It is joyous intimacy with friends and a feeling that life is good. But not so with us in those last days of heavy drinking. - Pg. 151 - A Vision For You Hour To Hour - Book - Quote Nothing comes easy for us right now. A lot of energy goes into just staying put and accepting this new way of life. We say that when the going gets tough, we hang tough! We know that it will pass, we make that promise to you. But it will be in God's time, not yours. Let me believe in myself, in this program, and in You, my Spiritual Source. A Little Magic Each day is a gift especially for me. I will look through innocent eyes at the world today and see the gifts that are meant just for me. Children think the sun rises for and because of them. They're sure that the moon hangs in the sky because they waved their arm towards the heavens. That flowers bloom for their eyes alone to see. They are magical thinkers. They take delight in the antics of a squirrel, in a balloon sailing in a bright, blue sky. They see the world fresh, in color and alive each new day, each new moment. They are constantly being surprised. Today, I think I'll borrow a little of their magic. Their magic and my maturity may just be a winning combination. I believe anything is possible - Tian Dayton PhD Pocket Sponsor - Book - Quote Some days you will be shocked at how nasty and short tempered you are. You'll think, 'This can't be me being so unreasonable.' Yet it is. You may deny it's really you by jostling the blame on another, 'If they hadn't....'. No, your bad behavior is your fault. You have no excuse. Now, can you love you anyway? I learn to love me even when I don't like me. "Walk Softly and Carry a Big Book" - Book On the first drink: When you get hit by a train, which kills you, the engine or the caboose? Time for Joy - Book - Quote I am beginning to trust myself today. There is a place deep within me that tells me that I am okay and guides me along my path in recovery. Alkiespeak - Book - Quote It's fine to drink like a fish. If you drink what fish drink. - Jim M.
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December 4
Daily Reflections INTO ACTION A.A. is more than a set of principles; it is a society of alcoholics in action. We must carry the message, else we ourselves can wither and those who haven't been given the truth may die. AS BILL SEES IT, p. 13 I desperately wanted to live, but if I was to succeed, I had to become active in our God-given program. I joined what became my group, where I opened the hall, made coffee, and cleaned up. I had been sober about three months when an oldtimer told me I was doing Twelfth-Step work. What a satisfying realization that was! I felt I was really accomplishing something. God had given me a second chance, A.A. had shown me the way, and these gifts were not only free - they were also priceless! Now the joy of seeing newcomers grow reminds me of where I have come from, where I am now, and the limitless possibilities that lie ahead. I need to attend meetings because they recharge my batteries so that I have light when it's needed. I'm still a beginner in service work, but already I am receiving more than I'm giving. I can't keep it unless I give it away. I am responsible when another reaches out for help. I want to be there - sober. ************************************************** ********* Twenty-Four Hours A Day A.A. Thought For The Day If we allow an alcoholic thought to lodge in our minds for any length of time, we are in danger of having a slip. Therefore we must dispel such thoughts at once, by refusing their admittance and by immediately putting constructive thoughts in their place. Remember that alcohol is poison to you. Remember that it is impossible for you to drink normally. Remember that one drink will lead to another and you will eventually be drunk. Remember what happened to you in the past as a result of your drinking. Think of every reason you have learned in A.A. for not taking that drink. Fill your mind with constructive thoughts. Am I keeping my thoughts constructive? Meditation For The Day Always seek to set aside the valuations of the world which seem wrong and try to judge only by those valuations which seem right to you. Do not seek too much the praise and notice of men. Be one of those who, though sometimes scoffed at, have a serenity and peace of mind which the scoffers never know. Be one of that band who feel the Divine Principle in the universe, though He be often rejected by men because He cannot be seen. Prayer For The Day I pray that I may not heed too much the judgment of men. I pray that I may test things by what seems right to me. ************************************************** ********* As Bill Sees It Those Other People, p.268 "Just like you, I have often thought myself the victim of what other people say and do. Yet every time I confessed the sins of such people, especially those whose sins did not correspond exactly with my own, I found that I only increased the total damage. My own resentment, my self-pity would often render me well-nigh useless to anybody. "So, nowadays, if anyone talks of me so as to hurt, I first ask myself if there is any truth at all in what they say. If there is none, I try to remember that I too have had my periods of speaking bitterly of others; that hurtful gossip is but a symptom of our remaining emotional illness; and consequently that I must never be angry at the unreasonableness of sick people. "Under very trying conditions I have had, again and again, to forgive others--also myself. Have you recently tried this?" Letter, 1946 ************************************************** ********* Walk In Dry Places The Lure of Greener Pastures Gratitude One of our old-timers spent a great deal of time trying to find a new job but never succeeding. When he finally retired, on a good pension, it became clear that the job he had kept was probably better and provided more benefits than any job he had been seeking. He was fortunate that none of his proposed job searches ever worked out. The fantasy of finding "greener pastures" is something many of us face, in both drinking and sobriety. We may be very well off where we are, yet feel that something rich and exciting is over in the next meadow. We can feel this way about our jobs, our lifestyles, and our locations. The answer to this greener-pastures obsession is to feel more gratitude for what we have here and now. We might also focus more upon today's activities and less upon impossible dreams of other places. There may be greener pastures somewhere, but I'll first look for the opportunities and benefits of my own life and surroundings. I may be richly blessed without knowing it. ************************************************** ********* Keep It Simple And to practice these principles in all our affairs. Third part of Step Twelve. This is a statement about us. We are now people of values. These values reflect our spiritual growth. We know how to help others. We know how to admit our wrongs. We know how to look at ourselves and change our defects. We know how to live an honest life. Step Twelve tells us. "Go use these tools for better living. Go be all you can be. Enjoy life and live a life you can be proud of." Step Twelve also tells us about how to have loving relationships. By the time we complete Step Twelve, we make or regain many relationships. The most important one is with our Higher Power. As we grow in the program, we realize all our relationships are spiritual gifts. Prayer for the Day: Higher Power, I now have one face instead of many masks. Help me be a person who will stand before You with pride, not shame. Action for the Day: Today, I'll talk with a friend and talk about my new values. I will talk about how much my life has changed. ************************************************** ********* Each Day a New Beginning I want to feel myself part of things, of the great drift and swirl; not cut off, missing things, like being sent to bed early as a child. --Joanna Field Feeling apart from the action and always looking on; wanting attention, and yet afraid of being noticed; no doubt these are familiar memories to most of us. We may still struggle with our self-perception, but we can celebrate that we no longer drown our moods. Connecting with the people next to us, though difficult, is no longer impossible when we rely on the program. There is a way to be a part of the action, a way that never fails. It takes only a small effort, really. We can simply look, with love, at someone nearby today and extend our hearts in honest attention. When we make someone else feel special, we'll become special too. Recovery can help each of us move beyond the boundaries of our own ego. Trusting that our lives are in the loving care of God, however we understand God, relieves us of the need for self-centeredness. We can let go of ourselves now that God is in charge, and we'll discover that we have joined the action. I will open my heart, and I'll be joined to all that's around me. ************************************************** ********* Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition Chapter 8 - TO WIVES We women carry with us a picture of the ideal man, the sort of chap we would like our husbands to be. It is the most natural thing in the world, once his liquor problem is solved, to feel that he will now measure up to that cherished vision. The chances are he will not for, like yourself, he is just beginning his development. Be patient. p. 118 ************************************************** ********* Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition Stories TWICE GIFTED - Diagnosed with cirrhosis, this sick alcoholic got sobriety--plus a lifesaving liver transplant. Sunday used to be pretty wild in the old days. That is what I call my drinking days, the old days. It was the last day of the weekend, finishing up a few days of partying with my friends. I never went anywhere that was not a party, and if in doubt about the occasion, I'd think of a good one and bring the party with me. I cannot remember a time without booze in my life. Even when I was young and didn't drink myself, liquor was always around. I do remember a time at the beginning of my drinking, thinking to myself that I was not and would never become an alcoholic, knowing in a very personal way exactly how an alcoholic lived. I was a teenager then, and I figured I was just having fun and could control everything about my drinking. By the time I actually reached legal drinking age, I had definitely gone beyond weekend party drinking, and Sunday once again became the first day of the week, soon to become a week of daily drinking. p. 470 ************************************************** ********* Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions Step Five - "Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs." What are we likely to receive from Step Five? For one thing, we shall get rid of that terrible sense of isolation we've always had. Almost without exception, alcoholics are tortured by loneliness. Even before our drinking got bad and people began to cut us off, nearly all of us suffered the feeling that we didn't quite belong. Either we were shy, and dared not draw near others, or we were apt to be noisy good fellows craving attention and companionship, but never getting it--at least to our way of thinking. There was always that mysterious barrier we could neither surmount nor understand. It was as if we were actors on a stage, suddenly realizing that we did not know a single line of our parts. That's one reason we loved alcohol too well. It did let us act extemporaneously. But even Bacchus boomeranged on us; we were finally struck down and left in terrified loneliness. p. 57 ************************************************** ********* Gratitude is one of the sweet shortcuts to finding peace of mind and happiness inside. No matter what's going on outside of us, there's always something we could be grateful for. --Barry Neil Kaufman If we wait for perfection before enjoying life, we will never enjoy life. --unknown One moment of patience may ward off a great disaster; one moment of impatience may ruin a whole life. --Chinese proverb I am getting to know myself today. I accept who I am today. I like myself today. --Ruth Fishel The Lord will drench you with His showers, but He will dry you with His sun. --Czech Proverb "Good morning, This is your Higher Power speaking. I will not be needing your help today." We win half the battle when we make up our minds to take the world as we find it, including the thorns. --unknown Angels can fly because they take themselves lightly! --unknown ************************************************** ********* Father Leo's Daily Meditation PREJUDICE "Everyone is a prisoner of his own experiences. No one can eliminate prejudices just recognize --them." Edward R. Murrow In recovery I am accepting that I am not perfect and some prejudices are part of my life what it is to be human. On a daily basis I am trying to deal with them, and talking about them helps. They don't go away just because I talk about them, but I get them in perspective and I grow in an understanding of myself through the recognition of my prejudices. Alcoholism made me into a " fake ". I appeared to be what I was not and my prejudices were part of the camouflage. My prejudices revealed my fears and my need to "people-please". Slowly, in my daily spiritual program, I am discovering the courage to stand alone. ************************************************** ********* Teach me to do your will, for you are my God; may your good spirit lead me on level ground. Psalm 143:10 “But I tell you: Love your enemies, bless those who curse you, do good to those who hate you.” Matthew 5:44 ************************************************** ********* Daily Inspiration Be yourself in all that you do and you will soon learn that you are very special. Lord, help me find the peace that You have already placed within my soul. Take less for granted and you will become very busy enjoying all that you have. Lord, thank you for my blessings and for all those that I am able to share them with. ************************************************** ********* NA Just For Today God's Will, Not Ours "We know that if we pray for God's will we will receive what is best for us, regardless of what we think." Basic Text pg. 44 By the time we came to NA, our inner voices had become unreliable and self-destructive. Addiction had warped our desires, our interests, our sense of what was best for ourselves. That's why it's been so important in recovery to develop our belief in a Power greater than ourselves, something that could provide saner, more reliable guidance than our own. We've begun learning how to rely on this Power's care and to trust the inner direction it provides us. As with all learning processes, it takes practice to "pray only for knowledge of God's will for us and the power to carry that out." The selfish, ego-driven attitudes we developed in our addiction are not cast off overnight. Those attitudes may affect the way we pray. We may even find ourselves praying something like, "Relieve me of this character defect so I can look good." The more straightforward we are about our own ideas and desires, the easier it will be to distinguish between our own will and our Higher Power's will. "Just for your information, God;" we might pray, "here's what I want in this situation. Nonetheless, I ask that your will, not mine, be done." Once we do this, we are prepared to recognize and accept our Higher Power's guidance. Just for today: Higher Power, I've learned to trust your guidance, yet I still have my own ideas about how I want to live my life. Let me share those ideas with you, and then let me clearly understand your will for me. In the end, let your will, not mine, be done. ************************************************** ********* You are reading from the book Today's Gift. They were the first . . . self-created people in the history of the world. And their manners were their own business. And so were their politics. And so, but ten times so, were their souls. --Archibald MacLeish There once was a child named Yemaya. Even before she could walk or talk, her mother introduced her to the trees. Yemaya touched them and they accepted her. They told her she was wonderful and she knew it was true. As she grew up, Yemaya occasionally met people who said unkind things to her. When this happened, she went back to her trees, who continued to tell her she was just fine. She couldn't understand what was wrong with those who were mean to her. Whenever they appeared and insisted on being mean, she pretended what they said was an arrow that sailed right by as she stepped out of the way. We can do the same. What others say or think is part of them and their lives, not ours. When we are wise enough to let go of things that don't belong to us, we will find our own treasures. What can I step out of the way of today? You are reading from the book Touchstones. "He doesn't talk to me," says a woman. "I don't know what she wants me to talk about," says a man. --Lillian B. Rubin We have often heard that it's better to be men of deeds, not words. In our relationships with other males, we have learned to do things together, work together, or play a sport together. But in our relationships with women, we often see the other side of this coin. If we haven't learned to express our thoughts and feelings, the women in our lives may request or demand that we learn now. There is nothing wrong with our not yet having this skill, and there is nothing wrong with women longing to talk with us. A close relationship promotes talking, and revealing thoughts and feelings. Words, when we are honest, are ways of becoming clearer and being more personal. We have the right to stumble around with our words. We also have the right to feel unsure of ourselves or frightened of saying what we feel. That kind of fear is the excitement of being close to someone we love. Today, I will express my feelings and ideas so others can know me better. You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning. I want to feel myself part of things, of the great drift and swirl; not cut off, missing things, like being sent to bed early as a child. --Joanna Field Feeling apart from the action and always looking on; wanting attention, and yet afraid of being noticed; no doubt these are familiar memories to most of us. We may still struggle with our self-perception, but we can celebrate that we no longer drown our moods. Connecting with the people next to us, though difficult, is no longer impossible when we rely on the program. There is a way to be a part of the action, a way that never fails. It takes only a small effort, really. We can simply look, with love, at someone nearby today and extend our hearts in honest attention. When we make someone else feel special, we'll become special too. Recovery can help each of us move beyond the boundaries of our own ego. Trusting that our lives are in the loving care of God, however we understand God, relieves us of the need for self-centeredness. We can let go of ourselves now that God is in charge, and we'll discover that we have joined the action. I will open my heart, and I'll be joined to all that's around me. You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go. Letting Go "How much do we need to let go of?" a friend asked one day. "I'm not certain," I replied, "but maybe everything." Letting go is a spiritual, emotional, mental, and physical process, a sometimes mysterious metaphysical process of releasing to God and the Universe that which we are clinging to so tightly. We let go of our grasp on people, outcomes, ideas, feelings, wants, needs, desires - everything. We let go of trying to control our progress in recovery. Yes, it's important to acknowledge and accept what we want and what we want to happen. But it's equally important to follow through by letting go. Letting go is the action part of faith. It is a behavior that gives God and the Universe permission to send us what we're meant to have. Letting go means we acknowledge that hanging on so tightly isn't helping to solve the problem, change the person, or get the outcome we desire. It isn't helping us. In fact, we learn that hanging on often blocks us from getting what we want and need. Who are we to say that things aren't happening exactly as they need to happen? There is magic in letting go. Sometimes we get what we want soon after we let go. Sometimes it takes longer. Sometimes the specific outcome we desire doesn't happen. Something better does. Letting go sets us free and connects us to our Source. Letting go creates the optimum environment for the best possible outcomes and solutions. Today, I will relax. I will let go of that which is upsetting me the most. I will trust that by letting go, I have started the wheels in motion for things to work out in the best possible way. I am getting to know myself today. I accept who I am today. I like myself today. --Ruth Fishel *************************************** Journey To The Heart You Decide This is an old lesson, but it bears repeating and remembering. We don’t have to let anyone control our lives, our choices, our joy. No matter how well we thought we learned that lesson, it often reappears. Another person starts to pull our strings. We get involved, entangled, hooked in. We hear ourselves singing an old tune– If only she would, if only he wouldn’t, then I would be… We realize that once again we have given up too much control. We have deferred our lives to the wishes, whims, and choices of another. Yes, if we are living fully, we will have reactions to those around us. Our relationships will help shape us, teach us things. And yes, there are times we are so connected to others, love them so much, that their path does affect ours. But we don’t have to let another person control our choices, our behaviors, or our lives. Maybe she will. Maybe he won’t. But what about you? What do you want? What course of action feels right for you, for your life? Do you want to assign responsibility for whether you take that course to another? Do you really? Sometimes, no matter how much you love others, it’s time to let go, time to let them walk their path. Time to realize that it is your responsibility to walk your own. Go in love. Go in peace. Go in gentle power. You are responsible for your life. You are responsible for your choices. It doesn’t matter what the other person does. You are still responsible for you. Take care of yourself, then take it one step further. Love, nurture, honor, and respect yourself. Only you can decide what you’re going to do. *************************************** More Language Of Letting Go The miracle of rebirth Birth is an exhilarating experience. Walking into a hospital room seconds after a child has been born, you can almost touch the emotion and power of the moment. Rebirth is like that,too. Sitting in a powerful religious ceremony, standing alone atop a high hill, or walking in the footsteps of an ancient civilization, we can feel our hearts being changed as our spirit is given new birth. “What have I done to deserve this?” we whisper. And the universe whispers, “It’s to move you along your path. It’s to teach you to live.” And we emerge from our experience reborn. Sometimes, it goes the other way,too. In a single moment, all that we know can be stripped away– the death of a loved one, a divorce, the loss of a job– and suddenly we’re left standing at the mercy of the universe. “Why did this happen? What did I do to deserve this?” we cry. And the universe answers, “It’s to move you along your path. It’s to teach you to live.” And once again, we rise from the ashes, reborn. Surrender to the exhilarating moments of creation in your life, both the uplifting and the heartrending ones. Touch the emotion and power. Trust that you’re being moved along your path. You’re learning how to live. Let yourself be reborn. God, please help me to accept all the life changing experiences that I may have. Help me to see the wonder in rebirth and to learn your lessons. *************************************** Now Is the Time Bloom Where You Are Planted by Madisyn Taylor The time to blossom is now, not sometime in the future when you believe the stars will be aligned for you. Having a vision for our future that differs from our current circumstances can be inspiring and exciting, but it can also keep us from fully committing to our present placement. We may become aware that this is happening when we notice our thoughts about the future distracting us from our participation in the moment. We may find upon searching our hearts that we are waiting for some future time or situation in order to self-actualize. This would be like a flower planted in North Dakota putting off blooming because it would prefer to do so in Illinois. There are no guarantees in this life, so when we hold back we do so at the risk of never fully blossoming. This present moment always offers us the ground in which we can take root and open our hearts now. What this means is that we live fully, wherever we are, not hesitating because conditions are not perfect, or we might end up moving, or we haven’t found our life partner. This can be scary, because we might feel that we are giving up our cherished dreams if we do not agree to wait for them. But this notion that we have to hold back our life force now in order to find happiness later doesn’t really make sense. What might really be happening is that we are afraid to embrace this moment, and ourselves, just exactly as we are right now. This constitutes a tendency to hold back from fully loving ourselves, as we are, where we are. We have a habit of presenting life with a set of conditions—ifs and whens that must be fulfilled before we will say yes to the gift of our lives. Now is the time for each of us to bloom where we are planted, overriding our tendency to hold back. Now is the time to say yes, to be brave and commit fully to ourselves, because until we do no one else will. Now is the time to be vulnerable, unfolding delicately yet fully into the space in which we find ourselves. Published with permission from Daily OM *************************************** A Day At A Time Reflection For The Day Most of us in The Program are far more comfortable with the determination that we won’t take the first drink today, than we are with the “vow” that we’ll never drink again. Saying “I intend never to drink again” is quite different from the saying, “I’ll never drink again.” The last statement is far too reflective of self-will; it doesn’t leave much room for the idea that God will remove our obsession to drink if we practice The Program’s Twelve Steps one day at a time. Will I continue to fight against complacency, realizing that I’ll always be just one drink away from disaster? Today I Pray “Never again” demands too binding a commitment, even for the strongest among us. Our past lives were full of “never agains” and won’t evers,” promises that were broken before the next dawn. May I, for now, set my sites on just one straight, sober day at a time. Today I Will Remember Never say “Never again.” *************************************** One More Day A tragedy means always a man’s struggles with that which is stronger than man. – G. K. Chesteron Once the diagnosis of a long-term illness is learned, some of us may use it as an excuse to be sad, morbid, sullen, unfeeling, and uncaring. These behaviors are all counterproductive to the fulfilling life we want to lead. Those of us who undergo a major health change may consider it a tragedy. It is; loss of good health is a frightening change. But to keep our personal problems hidden, to never reach out for help and for support — that is the truest tragedy. We can reach out to those who love us and extend our arms to our Higher Power. Rather than being bitter, we can involve ourselves in the lives of others and allow our personal tragedies to generate triumphs. My faith in a Higher Power and my faith in myself grow stronger each day. ************************************ Food For Thought Our Daily Bread Doing the will of our Higher Power each day is what sustains us. We trust Him to provide the food we need, both physical and spiritual. We do not have to be anxious about our supply for the future. If we seek to do God's will today. He will take care of us in the future as well. Anxiety over material things arises when we forget to stay in touch with the source of our existence. By ourselves, we cannot even assure an adequate intake of oxygen; much less all of the other elements we need for survival. Since we are dependent on our environment to sustain us, we make life extremely difficult when we try to live a self-centered existence. Our daily sustenance comes from a Power greater than ourselves. As children of God, we have faith that He will take care of us. Exaggerated emotional dependence on physical food blocks us from the spiritual nourishment, which our Higher Power offers us today and every day. Give us this day our daily bread. ***************************************** One Day At A Time ~ COURAGE ~ Courage faces fear and thereby masters it. Martin Luther King, Jr. I've never been a brave person and was always very fearful. I would watch movies where the hero would rescue the heroine, or where someone would climb Mount Everest, or perform some feat of daring, and I would be totally in awe. I was afraid of the dark, of rejection, of failure and of most other things that I was convinced took courage. No way would I go parasailing or deep sea diving as that seemed to require the courage that I lacked. I didn't understand then that people who do those kinds of things are not totally without fear, but they have a way of overcoming their fear and still doing it anyway. When I came into the program and learned that I would have to do an inventory and then, worse still, make amends to the people I had harmed, I was paralyzed by fear. Eventually I realized that, even though I feared doing these things, all I had to do was ask my Higher Power for strength and guidance and then do the things I'd most feared. Perhaps these weren't the feats of daring that I had seen heroes perform, but for me they were great victories, and in being able to do them, I knew that I was developing courage. One Day at a Time . . . I will continue to walk through my fear with my Higher Power at my side, knowing that I am developing the courage that I thought I lacked. Sharon S. ***************************************** AA 'Big Book' - Quote Having persevered with the rest of the program, they wondered why they fell. We think the reason is that they never completed their housecleaning. They took inventory all right, but hung on to some of the worst items in stock. They only THOUGHT they had lost their egoism and fear; they only THOUGHT they had humbled themselves. But they had not learned enough of humility, fearlessness and honesty, in the sense we find it necessary, until they told someone else ALL their life story. - Pg. 73 - Into Action Hour To Hour - Book - Quote We need special people in our lives so that we can travel the path of recovery. The special people are easy to find, they are right in front of you, your Higher Power puts them there. Let me recognize and use the special people my Divine Source has placed before me to walk beside me on this road of recovery. Feeling Good Inside I am in the present, I can actually see what the next right action might be and I can take it seamlessly, easily, fruitfully. I will see my day as an opportunity to grow; to learn to allow more of who I am to flow through me. Naturally, quietly and without force. I will become worthy of the life I have been given, grateful just to be alive for one more day. I will let life work out. - Tian Dayton PhD Pocket Sponsor - Book - Quote 'We weren't perfect at it. Sometimes we rebelled, and rejected our sponsors' feedback or the guidance of the Steps. Still, the recovery process was always there when we needed and accepted it. (P 80, CDA First Edition) I worked my using hard, so now I work my recovery hard. "Walk Softly and Carry a Big Book" - Book Strive for perfection; accept progress. Time for Joy - Book - Quote I am getting to know myself today. I accept who I am today. I like myself today. Alkiespeak - Book - Quote I ran out of the meeting screaming; 'You're not going to railroad me into being happy!' A while later I realized what I'd said. - Serenity Sam.
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December 5
Daily Reflections A NEW STATE OF CONSCIOUSNESS He has been granted a gift which amounts to a new state of consciousness and being. TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, p 107 Many of us in A.A. puzzle over what is a spiritual awakening. I tended to look for a miracle, something dramatic and earth shattering. But what usually happens is that a sense of well-being, a feeling of peace, transforms us into a new level of awareness. That's what happened to me. My insanity and inner turmoil disappeared and I entered into a new dimension of hope, love and peace. I think the degree to which I continue to experience this new dimension is in direct proportion to the sincerity, depth and devotion with which I practice the Twelve Steps of A.A. ************************************************** ********* Twenty-Four Hours A Day A.A. Thought For The Day In spite of all we have learned in A.A., our old way of thinking comes back on us, sometimes with overwhelming force, and occasionally some of us have slips. We forget or refuse to call on the Higher Power for help. We seem to deliberately make our minds a blank so far as A.A. training goes, and we take a drink. We eventually get drunk. We are temporarily right back where we started from. Those who have had slips say unanimously that they were no fun. They say A.A. had taken all the pleasure out of drinking. They knew they were doing the wrong thing. The old mental conflict was back in full force. They were disgusted with themselves. Am I convinced that I can never get anything more out of drinking? Meditation For The Day Give something to those who are having trouble, to those whose thoughts are confused, something of your sympathy, your prayers, your time, your love, your thought, your self. Then give of your own confidence, as you have had it given to you by the grace of God. Give of yourself and of your loving sympathy. Give your best to those who need it and will accept it. Give according to need, never according to deserts. Remember that the giving of advice can never take the place of giving of your self. Prayer For The Day I pray that as I have received, so may I give. I pray that I may have the right answer to those who are confused. ************************************************** ********* As Bill Sees It Relapses--and the Group, p. 154 An early fear was that of slips or relapses. At first nearly every alcoholic we approached began to slip, if indeed he sobered up at all. Others would stay dry six months or maybe a year and then take a skid. This was always a genuine catastrophe. We would all look at each other and say, "Who next?" Today, though slips are a very serious difficulty, as a group we take them in stride. Fear has evaporated. Alcohol always threatens the individual, but we know that it cannot destroy the common welfare. << << << >> >> >> "It does not seem to pay to argue with 'slippers' about the proper method of getting dry. After all, why should people who are drinking tell people who are dry how it should be done? "Just kid the boys along--ask them if they are having fun. If they are too noisy or troublesome, amiably keep out of their way." 1. A.A. Comes Of Age, p. 97 2. Letter, 1942 ************************************************** ********* Walk In Dry Places Holding hands and hugging Sincerity The custom of holding hands while saying the Lord's Prayer has been adopted by many AA groups. We have also seen more hugging than in the past, even between the most unlikely members. Are these new practices good or bad? In accordance with AA tradition, we have to leave such questions to the group conscience. One thought, however, is that such physical actions do not necessarily mean that any true spiritual bonding has taken place. The old-timers who never held hands or hugged still had a great closeness in spirit and in feeling. We must also consider that we may be violating the privacy of the person who doesn't wish to hold hands or hug. If such a person chooses to stand outside the hand=holding circle, he or she maybe cast in the role of dissenter. Would that be fair? Hand -holding and hugging may be here to stay, but let's not make them out to be more than mere physical expressions. The program of the heart is still first. I'll remember today that true bonding is spiritual, not physical. ************************************************** ********* Keep It Simple Each day, somewhere in the world, recovery begins when one alcoholic talks with another alcoholic, sharing experience, strength, and hope. ---Alcoholics Anonymous All over the world, recovering men and women use the same Twelve Steps to live their lives. Our fellowship keeps growing. The bigger it gets, the faster it grows. Why? Because the program brings our spirits back to life. All over the world, many of us were dying, and now we’re full of life and love. We are bringing our world bake to life. As we share our experience, strength, and hope, we help others join us in coming back to life. Prayer for the Day: Higher Power, help me stay sober today. Guide me and all others who are doing Your will today. Action for the Day: Today, I’ll think of three things I can do to help spread the message of AA and NA. ************************************************** ********* Each Day a New Beginning It is a long baptism into the seas of humankind, my daughter. Better immersion than to live untouched. --Tillie Olsen We have each had days when we preferred hiding under the covers, avoiding life at all costs. And in times gone by, we did just that, sometimes too frequently. What we didn't always know, and what we still forget on occasion, is that we have a ready and willing partner who will join us in every pursuit. The more fully we commit ourselves to one another and to all our experience, the closer we will come to the very serenity we long for. Serenity accompanies our increasing understanding of life's many mysteries. It's easy to cheat ourselves out of the prizes any day offers us. Fear fosters inertia, leaving us separate, alone, even more afraid. But we have an appointment with life. And our appointment will bring us to the place of full understanding, the place where we'll be certain, forever after, that all is well. And that life is good. Today's appointments are part of the bigger plan for my life. I will face them, enjoy them, and reap their rewards. ************************************************** ********* Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition Chapter 8 - TO WIVES Another feeling we are very likely to entertain is one of resentment that love and loyalty could not cure our husbands of alcoholism. We do not like the thought that the contents of a book or the work of another alcoholic has accomplished in a few weeks that for which we struggled for years. At such moments we forget that alcoholism is an illness over which we could not possibly have had any power. Your husband will be the first to say it was your devotion and care which brought him to the point where he could have a spiritual experience. Without you he would have gone to pieces long ago. When resentful thoughts come, try to pause and count your blessings. After all, your family is reunited, alcohol is no longer a problem and you and your husband are working together toward an undreamed-of future. pp. 118-119 ************************************************** ********* Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition Stories TWICE GIFTED - Diagnosed with cirrhosis, this sick alcoholic got sobriety--plus a lifesaving liver transplant. During my young adulthood, drinking was the way I related to others. I did not know anyone who did not drink, and all of my interests, friendships, and more intimate relationships revolved completely around drinking. Over the years, by all appearances, I grew up and got a life, but it was only a facade. I never did mature other than in the physical way. I appeared normal on the outside. I knew I drank and so did everyone else, but I behaved pretty well and, only by chance, managed to stay out of harm's way, except for a few occasions. Looking back now, the picture of my life before I got sober looks like a long series of unfinished matters. Through the years I had quit on everything that ever mattered: college, going for promotions, relationships--at least the relationships that demanded any work. pp. 470-471 ************************************************** ********* Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions Step Five - "Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs." When we reached A.A., and for the first time in our lives stood among people who seemed to understand, the sense of belonging was tremendously exciting. We thought the isolation problem had been solved. But we soon discovered that while we weren't alone any more in a social sense, we still suffered many of the old pangs of anxious partners. Until we had talked with complete candor of our conflicts, and had listened to someone else do the same thing, we still didn't belong. Step Five was the answer. It was the beginning of true kinship with man and God. p. 57 ************************************************** ********* Action may not always bring happiness, but there is no happiness without action. --William James Money is not required to buy one necessity of the soul. --Henry David Thoreau If you want to accomplish the goals of your life, you have to begin with the Spirit. --Oprah Winfrey The steps did for me the very thing I kept hoping alcohol would do for me --- they gave me the peace and serenity I had been looking for in a bottle. --unknown Today is full of miracles! --Ruth Fishel "The principles you live by create the world you live in; if you change the principles you live by, you will change your world." --Blaine Lee "What we see depends mainly on what we look for." --John Lubbock The ultimate lesson all of us have is unconditional love, which includes not only others but ourselves as well. --Elisabeth Kubler-Ross ************************************************** ********* Father Leo's Daily Meditation BEAUTY "Not every woman in old slippers can manage to look like Cinderella." -- Don Marquis Beauty is not what you wear or look like; beauty is within. We begin to love ourselves when we see the beauty that God has given to each and every one of us forever. God's image and beauty is expressed through our attitudes and feelings, how we greet and listen to each other and the gentle dignity we afford to another human being. For years I saw myself as ugly, boring, useless and stupid. This message came from parents who forever compared me with others and for years I believed their message. I hid through my teen-age years and quietly tried to escape in food, alcohol and drugs. Then after a crisis I met people who had felt the same but were now feeling different. They loved me until I could begin to love myself. Now I like me. Now I can love me. Today I can like and love you. Help me to see the beauty in the wrinkle; the power in the pain. ************************************************** ********* "He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High will rest in the shadow of the Almighty." Psalm 91:1 "Dear children, let us not love with words or tongue but with actions and in truth. This then is how we know that we belong to the truth, and how we set our hearts at rest in his presence." I John 3:18-19 "Again Jesus spoke to them, saying, 'I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will never walk in darkness but will have the light of life.'" John 8:12 ************************************************** ********* Daily Inspiration Imagine joy and you will find it. Lord, I thank You for the people that need me and love me, for the ability to hope and especially for the ability to love. One of life's greatest rewards is not what we get, but what we become. Lord, give me the courage to be all that I can. ************************************************** ********* NA Just For Today Those Who Want To Recover "We have seen the program work for any addict who honestly and sincerely wants to stop [using drugs]" Basic Text pg. 10 How do we know when someone honestly and sincerely wants to stop using drugs? The truth is that we don't know! Because we cannot read minds or know another's motives and desires, we simply have to hope for the best. We may talk to a newcomer at a meeting and think we'll never see them again, only to find them several years later doing well in their recovery. We may be tempted to give up on someone who keeps relapsing or doesn't get clean right away, but we must not. No matter how unwilling someone may seem, a simple fact remains - the addict is at a meeting. We may never know the results of our Twelfth Step work; it is not up to us to gauge the willingness of a newcomer. The message we carry is a part of us. We carry it everywhere and share it freely, leaving the results to a Power greater than ourselves. Just for today: I will share my recovery with any addict, anywhere, anytime, and under any circumstances. I will leave the results to my Higher Power. ************************************************** ********* You are reading from the book Today's Gift. My true god is always with me. I am learning to trust myself. . . . --Joan Parsons Sometimes a book we read at a very young age stays with us our whole lives. One girl loved Heidi more than any other book. She always thought about the grandfather's hut. It was a special place in the world--with the fresh mountain air, the spring flowers, the winter fire on the hearth. But the part she carried with her to adulthood was the part about the grandfather pouring goat's milk into a bowl and telling Heidi to drink it all up so she could grow to be healthy and happy. Now that girl is a woman. Sometimes, when she wants to feel taken care of, she pours herself a bowl of milk. Then she sits down, picks up the bowl with two hands, and drinks out of it like Heidi. She feels comforted and connected to the universe. The private rituals we discover in childhood can befriend us all our lives, if we let them. What do I want when I want comfort? You are reading from the book Touchstones. [A relationship] takes time and deeds, and this involves trust, it involves making ourselves naked, to become sitting ducks for each other. --Eldridge Cleaver When we were lost in our excesses, we were limited in our relationships. The history of our friendships and loves may be evidence of that. Many of us had a primary relationship with a substance or an addictive behavior, and people had only second place. Many of us were so lost in our codependency that our relationships were two-dimensional. We didn't know how to be there with our whole selves. In recovery our ability to relate to others charges slowly. We learn how to love like everyone else learned - only we are learning a little later. We have to be willing to be vulnerable. We also must be willing to be accountable - willing to say to our loved ones, "You can count on me to never leave without saying good bye." "You can count on me to be respectful of you." "You can count on me to tell you how I feel, even when it hurts." As we mature, with the help of the Steps, we also grow in our relationships with others. Today, I will be true to my relationships. You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning. It is a long baptism into the seas of humankind, my daughter. Better immersion than to live untouched. --Tillie Olsen We have each had days when we preferred hiding under the covers, avoiding life at all costs. And in times gone by, we did just that, sometimes too frequently. What we didn't always know, and what we still forget on occasion, is that we have a ready and willing partner who will join us in every pursuit. The more fully we commit ourselves to one another and to all our experience, the closer we will come to the very serenity we long for. Serenity accompanies our increasing understanding of life's many mysteries. It's easy to cheat ourselves out of the prizes any day offers us. Fear fosters inertia, leaving us separate, alone, even more afraid. But we have an appointment with life. And our appointment will bring us to the place of full understanding, the place where we'll be certain, forever after, that all is well. And that life is good. Today's appointments are part of the bigger plan for my life. I will face them, enjoy them, and reap their rewards. You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go. Difficult People Few things can make us feel crazier than expecting something from someone who has nothing to give. Few things can frustrate us more than trying to make a person someone he or she isn't; we feel crazy when we try to pretend that person is someone he or she is not. We may have spent years negotiating with reality concerning particular people from our past and our present. We may have spent years trying to get someone to love us in a certain way, when that person cannot or will not. It is time to let it go. It is time to let him or her go. That doesn't mean we can't love that person anymore. It means that we will feel the immense relief that comes when we stop denying reality and begin accepting. We release that person to be who he or she actually is. We stop trying to make that person be someone he or she is not. We deal with our feelings and walk away from the destructive system. We learn to love and care differently in a way that takes reality into account. We enter into a relationship with that person on new terms - taking our needs and ourselves into account. If a person is addicted to alcohol, other drugs, misery, or other people, we let go of his or her addiction; we take our hands off it. We give his or her life back. And we, in the process, are given our life and freedom in return. We stop letting what we are not getting from that person control us. We take responsibility for our life. We go ahead with the process of loving and taking care of ourselves. We decide how we want to interact with that person, taking reality and our own best interests into account. We get angry, we feel hurt, but we land in a place of forgiveness. We set him or her free, and we become set free from bondage. This is the heart of detaching in love. Today, I will work at detaching in love from troublesome people in my life. I will strive to accept reality in my relationships. I will give myself permission to take care of myself in my relationships, with emotional, physical, mental, and spiritual freedom for both people as my goal. Today is full of miracles! --Ruth Fishel *************************************** Journey To The Heart Life Can Be Fun How careful and guarded we’ve been with fun, with playing, with sheer enjoyment– whether we’re working, traveling, or wandering around town on a Saturday afternoon. Sometimes, we act as though there’s a limited amount, a scarce supply of fun available. We can’t take too much, or it’ll all be gone. That’s how I was for a long time. One Saturday afternoon my son, Shane, asked if he could spend the night at a friend’s house to play and have a sleepover. “Why?” I asked. “You just did something fun last night,” I reminded him. He thought for a moment. “Who said you can’t have fun two days in a row.?” Have some fun– with life, with love, with work. Then go out and have some more. *************************************** More Language Of Letting Go Be happy now “Time is what keeps everything from happening at once,” the bumper sticker ahead of me read. Maybe, I thought. I was racing back home from the computer store, busily doing my errands, trying to get things done. I noticed a restaurant and shopping center to my right, on the freeway. I’d been curious about this place for almost a year. Today, instead of driving by, I turned off the highway and pulled into the parking lot. I spent the next three hours browsing through the stores filled with antiques, trinkets, and gourmet foods. Then I enjoyed a leisurely dinner– a juicy hamburger and a chocolate malt– at the restaurant before returning home. The stores had always been there, I’d always driven past. Today I stopped, satisfied my curiosity, and enjoyed myself. It’s easy to spend our lives working toward a goal, convinced that if we could only get there, we’d be truly happy then. Today is the only moment we have. If we wait until tomorrow to be happy, we’ll miss out on the beauty of today. Have your plans. Set goals. Let yourself be happy now. God, help me be aware of the joy that’s in front of me now instead of waiting for tomorrow to bring me happiness. *************************************** Blue Skies The Sky Is Blue Even on a Cloudy Day by Madisyn Taylor Darker days are just as much a part of life as are the days graced with sunshine. When we refer to a “beautiful day,” we are often describing a day that is sunny, clear, and without a cloud in sight to mar a sky that is a brilliantly perfect blue. We find ourselves bouncing along, light in spirit, free from worries, and enjoying the moment. That is, until the clouds begin to form. The sky may turn grey, and a fog may roll in. Puffs of white take on whimsical, darker shades, and our beautiful day disappears along with the sunshine… or so it seems. A clear blue sky often inspires in us good cheer, bringing on a lighter, more carefree day. We may find ourselves spending time outdoors, breathing in the fresh air, and basking in the warmth of the sun. Yet should clouds appear to wash the sky with shadows, we may let this change of weather decrease our energy and enthusiasm, pulling us into our own cloudy funk. Darker days are just as much a part of life as are the days graced with sunshine. They show us a different perspective of our world, while helping us appreciate the moments of illumination that inevitably follow. A rainy day with clouds helps to clear the air, washing away stagnation. Still, it’s hard not to feel gloomy or think that the day has been ruined when there are clouds hanging over us. Yet if you can remember that these shades of grey won’t last forever, and that hidden behind the clouds is the blue sky, you will find that the beauty of your day is merely playing a game of peek-a-boo with you. Like the mis! haps and interruptions that occasionally block the brilliance that is our own lives from shining through, clouds eventually clear away so we can open up to a brighter horizon. The next time you wake up to a cloudy day, remember that these shades of grey in life are there just for the moment. And that no matter how hard the rain falls or how chilly the fog is, the clouds will go away, the sun will break through, and you will be able to see the sky that has always and forever been a beautiful and brilliant blue. Published with permission from Daily OM *************************************** A Day At A Time Reflection For The Day “It is of low benefit to give me something. It is of high benefit to enable me to do something for myself.” Emerson I’ve been taught in The Program that I begin to use my will properly when I try to make it conform with God’s will. In the past, most of my problems resulted from the improper use of will power. I’d always tried to use it, in sledgehammer fashion, as a way of solving my problems or changing the conditions of my life. Do I see that a primary purpose of the Twelve Steps is to help me channel my will into agreement with God’s intentions for me? Today I Pray May I direct my will-power into a channel where it can pick up the will of God. May I no longer use my will-power — which has not proved mighty in the past — as willfulness. May I think of my will only as an extension of God’s will, listening always for direction. Today I Will Remember To use my will-power as willingness, not willfulness. *************************************** One More Day Forgiveness is the answer to the child’s dream of a miracle by which what is broken is made whole again, what is soiled is again made clean. – Dag Hammarskjold We all may feel a measure of guilt when relationships deteriorate or friends become angry with each other. Sometimes, it’s not the people around us who are to blame; sometimes it really is our fault. We’ve misspoken or said harsh and unfeeling words to a friend. We can’t undo our mistakes or take back our words, but we can ask for forgiveness and try to make amends. WE can forgive others when they have hurt us, knowing that forgiveness keeps our relationships whole. I don’t have to wait for forgiveness from others; I can make my amends first. ************************************ Food For Thought Challenges When we were overeating compulsively, we accepted few challenges other than how much food we could cram into our stomachs without getting sick. As our disease progressed, outside interests narrowed and we "got by" with minimum accomplishment instead of being inspired to do our best. Life is a challenge. None of us has an easy, free ride. The problems and difficulties we overcome are what ensure our continual growth. Without obstacles and tension, we would stagnate. By overeating, we kept ourselves too doped up and lethargic to respond to many of the challenges life presented. Abstinence is a challenge. It requires our devotion, determination, and dedication. There are some days when maintaining abstinence is all the challenge we can handle. As we progress in the program, we are increasingly capable of responding to the challenges that come to us through our families, jobs, leisure activities, and community involvements. Today, I will be challenged to become what You intend. ***************************************** One Day At A Time PERFECTION My imperfections and failures are as much a blessing from God as my successes and my talents, and I lay them both at His feet. Mahatma Gandhi I don't know why I used to think that if something wasn't done perfectly, it wasn't worth doing. I was an all-time overachiever, and to fail at something was totally unacceptable. It was hardly surprising that I couldn't like, let alone love, myself, since I set such impossibly high standards for myself. I was constantly pushing myself to excel at those things I was good at, and would beat up on myself if I failed to measure up to the high expectations I held. I was especially critical of my body and thought that if I had the perfect body, then my life would be perfect. When I came into the program, I had to learn not to be so hard on myself. For the first time I began to realize that I was human and could still be lovable and worthy, even with all my imperfections and character defects. I am lovingly reminded by my sponsor and my friends in the fellowship to be more gentle on myself, and that I don't even have to do the program perfectly. I just need to do the best I know how for that day; then I can see progress one day at a time. I don't have to push myself to be perfect all the time in order to win approval or gain love. What a relief that is! One day at a time . . . I don't have to be perfect all the time. I just need to to be the best me that I can for today, and that's the way God intended me to be. Sharon S. ***************************************** AA 'Big Book' - Quote We have found nothing incompatible between a powerful spiritual experience and a life of sane and happy usefulness. - Pg. 130 - The Family Afterward Hour To Hour - Book - Quote It seems insane that we have to be brought to our knees before we seek help, but for most of us that's the way it is. Whatever crisis got us here, we will eventually see as a blessing in disguise. Thank You Higher Power, of my understanding, for the crisis--the one that brought me to my knees, because it also bought me this hour of clean and sober time. One Foot In Front Of The Other All I need to do today is to put one foot in front of the other. I can only walk this walk a step at a time. Each time I take a step, I will trust that the next will follow, along with the next, and the next and the next. What I know today is that no matter what does or does not come my way, I will wake up each morning to one more day of my spiritual journey, nothing more, nothing less. I will keep putting one foot in front of the other. - Tian Dayton PhD Pocket Sponsor - Book - Quote Doing the next right thing in the face of a tricky situation is not a choice you can run away from. As the saying goes: Wherever you go, there you are. I do the next right thing first, so the 'situation' doesn't last. Alkiespeak - Book - Quote I went outside and leaned up against the wall. I was throwing up on my shoes. And a man came out and he brought a towel and he cleaned me up, put his arms around me and said: 'Honey this is the last drunk you'll ever have to shake out.' - Gayle W.
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December 6
Daily Reflections WHEN THE CHIPS ARE DOWN When we developed still more, we discovered the best possible source of emotional stability to be God Himself. We found that dependence upon His perfect justice, forgiveness, and love was healthy, and that it would work where nothing else would. If we really depended upon God, we couldn't very well play God to our fellows nor would we feel the urge wholly to rely on human protection and care. TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, p. 116 It has been my experience that, when all human resources appear to have failed, there is always One who will never desert me. Moreover, He is always there to share my joy, to steer me down the right path, and to confide in when no one else will do. While my well-being and happiness can be added to, or diminished, by human efforts, only God can provide the loving nourishment upon which I depend for my daily spiritual health. ************************************************** ********* Twenty-Four Hours A Day A.A. Thought For The Day People who had a slip are ashamed of themselves--sometimes so ashamed that they fear to go back to A.A. They develop the old inferiority complex and tell themselves that they are no good, that they are hopeless, and that they can never make it. This state of mind is perhaps worse than it was originally. They have probably been somewhat weakened by their slip. But their A.A. training cannot ever be entirely lost. They always know they can go back if they want to. They know there is still God's help for them if they will again ask for it. Do I believe that I can never entirely lose what I have learned in A.A.? Meditation For The Day Nobody entirely escapes temptation. You must expect it and be ready for it when it comes. None of us is entirely safe. You must try to keep your defenses up by daily thought and prayer. That is why we have these daily meditations. You must be able to recognize temptation when it comes. The first step toward conquering temptation always is to see it clearly as temptation and not to harbor it in your mind. Dissociate yourself from it, put it out of your mind as soon as it appears. Do not think of excuses for yielding to it. Turn at once to the Higher Power for help. Prayer For The Day I pray that I may be prepared for whatever temptation may come to me. I pray that I may see it clearly and avoid it with the help of God. ************************************************** ********* As Bill Sees It The Way Of Strength, p. 129 We need not apologize to anyone for depending upon the Creator. We have good reason to disbelieve those who think spirituality is the way of weakness. For us, it is the way of strength. The verdict of the ages is that men of faith seldom lack courage. They trust their God. So we never apologize for our belief in Him. Instead, we try to let Him demonstrate, through us, what He can do. Alcoholics Anonymous, p. 68 ************************************************** ********* Walk In Dry Places Alcoholism: Disease or Bad Habit? Understanding my problem.. While AA has always considered alcoholism a disease, controversy still simmers over its definition. In the past, alcoholism has been considered a sin, a sickness, or just a very bad habit. More recently, there has been a suggestion that some "problem drinkers" might not be alcoholics at all and can very possibly bring their drinking under control. This controversy will undoubtedly continue, but it is important that recovering people understand the NATURE of alcoholism. It is deadly, it is compulsive, and it is progressive. While there are occasional reports of alcoholics who claim to have become controlled drinkers, few of us have any firsthand evidence of such changes. Much more often, we hear stories of alcoholics who try to drink again, only to find themselves headed down a rocky road. It is not necessary that we define alcoholism perfectly or precisely. What's more important is that we remember we're powerless over alcohol and cannot safely pick up a drink. No definition will change that reality for an alcoholic who has had an unmanageable life. I'm fortunate AA gave me an understanding of my problem that I can live with---one that will help me continue living. Others can worry about defining alcoholism. I'll focus on staying sober myself. ************************************************** ********* Keep It Simple The strongest of all warriors are these two--Time and Patience. Leo Tolstay One of the first things we learn about in recovery is time. Before, we may have tried to control time by Pushing it along. We tried to hurry everything and everybody. We wanted our "quick fix." But the program tells us to slow down. Easy Does It. We probably couldn't picture ourselves staying sober for the rest of our life. So we were told to just work at staying sober today. We learned to work our program One Day at a Time. We were thought that time can be our friend. Times is our Higher Power's way of not having everything happen at once. Prayer for the Day: Higher Power, you are my teacher. You are in charge of the lesson. Help me accept this. Teach me how to use my time wisely. Action for the Day: Today, I'll list five ways I use my time in ways that aren't helpful to me. I'll work at making time my friend. ************************************************** ********* Each Day a New Beginning Each day provides its own gifts. --Ruth P. Freedman We are guaranteed experiences that are absolutely right for us today. We are progressing on schedule. Even when our personal hopes are unmet, we are given the necessary opportunities for achieving those goals that complement our unique destinies. Today is full of special surprises, and we will be the recipient of the ones which are sent to help us grow--in all the ways necessary for our continued recovery. We might not consider every experience a gift at this time. But hindsight will offer the clarity lacking at the moment, just as it has done in many instances that have gone before. We are only offered part of our personal drama each day. But we can trust our lives to have many scenes, many acts, points of climax, and a conclusion. Each of us tells a story with our lives, one different from all other stories and yet necessary to the telling of many other stories too. The days ahead will help us tell our story. Our interactions with others will influence our outcomes and theirs. We can trust the drama and give fully to our roles. Every day is a gift exchange. I give, and I will receive. ************************************************** ********* Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition Chapter 8 - TO WIVES Still another difficulty is that you may become jealous of the attention he bestows on other people, especially alcoholics. You have been starving for his companionship, yet he spends long hours helping other men and their families. You feel he should now be yours. It will do little good if you point that out and urge more attention for yourself. We find it a real mistake to dampen his enthusiasm for alcoholic work. You should join in his efforts as much as you possibly can. We suggest that you direct some of your thought to the wives of his new alcoholic friends. They need the counsel and love of a woman who has gone through what you have. p. 119 ************************************************** ********* Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition Stories TWICE GIFTED - Diagnosed with cirrhosis, this sick alcoholic got sobriety--plus a lifesaving liver transplant. Then a few things began to change. Some years before I finally gave up drinking, my body started to give me signals that continuing on this course might not be as carefree as it had seemed up to that point. When stomach problems began, I visited a doctor, and when queried about my drinking habits, I glossed over the idea that I overindulged. Tests were run, but no real diagnosis was ever confirmed. I was advised to maintain a healthy diet and watch alcohol intake, along with other prudent suggestions from the doctor. I was still young, and I thought to myself that just giving my body a break, by slowing down, would allow me to bounce back. Over the next few years I had quite a few episodes of feeling sick, and of course having never attended to the real problem, my drinking was still escalating. When my symptoms started to multiply, I finally had to consider the real possibility that drinking was the cause of all my health problems. For very brief moments I somehow realized that giving up the booze was probably in my future. With that realization came fear and so many questions. How will I live? What will I do with my life? Certainly a life without booze meant I would not have fun, and surely I would not be fun. pp. 471-472 ************************************************** ********* Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions Step Five - "Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs." This vital Step was also the means by which we began to get the feeling that we could be forgiven, no matter what we had thought or done. Often it was while working on this Step with our sponsors or spiritual advisers that we first felt truly able to forgive others, no matter how deeply we felt they had wronged us. Our moral inventory had persuaded us that all-round forgiveness was desirable, but it was only when we resolutely tackled Step Five that we inwardly knew we'd be able to receive forgiveness and give it, too. pp. 57-58 ************************************************** ********* If you are seeking to live a joyful life, add music and dance to each day! --Gary Barnes "Fear less, hope more; Whine less, breathe more; Talk less, say more; Hate less, love more; And all good things are yours." --Swedish Proverb It has been said that our anxiety does not empty tomorrow of its sorrow, but only empties today of its strength. --Charles Haddon Spurgeon Take the first step in faith. You don't have to see the whole staircase, just take the first step. --Martin Luther King Jr. Alone we can do so little; together we can do so much. --Helen Keller The best gifts to give: To your friend - loyalty; To your enemy - forgiveness; To your boss - service; To a child - a good example; To your parents - gratitude and devotion; To your mate - love and faithfulness; To all men and women - love; To God - your life. --unknown People may doubt what you say, but they will believe what you do. --unknown ************************************************** ********* Father Leo's Daily Meditation FAILURE "There are two kinds of failures: those who thought and never did, and those who did and never --thought." Laurence J. Peter In my life I know that I am guilty of both these failures. I remember making sand castles in the air without realizing that I could attempt to build one in my life. I would see somebody I wanted to talk with and imagine a conversation, rather than going over and risking possible rejection. Today I am able to risk and I am now the possessor of a thousand memories that actually happened. I am also aware of how thoughtless I was in my addiction. I would react rather than respond; create hostility as a wall to keep people out. Today I am able to think through a problem and apologize when I am wrong. ************************************************** ********* "See how great a love the Father has bestowed upon us, that we should be called children of God; and such we are." 1 John 3:1 "Until now you have not asked for anything in my name. Ask and you will receive, and your joy will be complete." John 16:24 ************************************************** ********* Daily Inspiration No matter who you are, it is your right to have peace. Lord, help me stay on my own path to peace and to turn my back on the distractions that are so intent on keeping me from it. To have courage, think courageous, act courageous, and pray to God for courage. Lord, You are full of love for all who come to You. ************************************************** ********* NA Just For Today Romance And Recovery "Relationships can be a terribly painful area." Basic Text pg. 78 Love is like an elixir for some of us. The excitement of a new lover, the intrigue of exploring intimacy, the sense of release we get from allowing ourselves to become vulnerable - these are all powerful emotions. But we can't forget that we have only a daily reprieve from our addiction. Holding onto this daily reprieve must be the top priority in any recovering addict's life. We can become too involved in our relationship. We can neglect old friends and our sponsor in the process. Then, when things get difficult, we often feel that we can no longer reach out to those who helped us prior to our romantic involvement. This belief can lay the groundwork for a relapse. By consistently working our program and attending meetings, we ensure that we have a network of recovery, even when we're deep in a romance. Our desire to be romantically involved is natural. But we mustn't forget that, without our program, even the healthiest relationship will not guard us against the strength of our addiction. Just for today: In my desire for romance, I will not ignore my recovery. ************************************************** ********* You are reading from the book Today's Gift. Believe that life is worth living, and your belief will help create the fact. --William James Before Orville and Wilbur Wright ever flew the first airplane at Kitty Hawk, they believed flight was possible. They had a picture of it in their minds. The first step in creating anything is to be able to picture it in our minds. If we can picture it as a possibility, we can work to make it happen. When we were small, we dreamed a thousand dreams about what could happen in our lives. Anything, even magical things, seemed like they could happen, and our world was full of visions. That part of us that believes wonderful, magical things can happen is still in us. It may have been beaten down for a while, but it is still there waiting to help us seek the wonderful, lovely, and good things in life. Which of my dreams can I work toward today? You are reading from the book Touchstones. All real living is meeting. --Martin Buber Sharing coffee with a friend or playing a game of golf with him provides a little relaxation, a little fun, and a chance to catch up on each other's lives. Such things are the meetings of life. Holding a small child on one's lap, even walking the dog are meetings too. They are relationships with other lives based on sharing time with one another. Meetings - this sharing of time - can be with the full range of our existence. A tree, a lake, a mountain, the stars meet with us in solitude and enlarge our lives. Meeting is more than driving by. We meet a neighbor, a woman walking down the sidewalk, a driver in the next car. Each meeting inspires different responses in us. With some, we may be open and receiving; with others, fearful; and yet with others, we want to exploit and use. If all life is meeting, perhaps I do not wish to meet in the way I have been. The way I meet others changes me. Maybe I am missing something. I can have more life by making more contact. God, please guide my awareness in this day to each meeting as it occurs so that 1 can make contact more fully. You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning. Each day provides its own gifts. --Ruth P. Freedman We are guaranteed experiences that are absolutely right for us today. We are progressing on schedule. Even when our personal hopes are unmet, we are given the necessary opportunities for achieving those goals that complement our unique destinies. Today is full of special surprises, and we will be the recipient of the ones which are sent to help us grow--in all the ways necessary for our continued recovery. We might not consider every experience a gift at this time. But hindsight will offer the clarity lacking at the moment, just as it has done in many instances that have gone before. We are only offered part of our personal drama each day. But we can trust our lives to have many scenes, many acts, points of climax, and a conclusion. Each of us tells a story with our lives, one different from all other stories and yet necessary to the telling of many other stories too. The days ahead will help us tell our story. Our interactions with others will influence our outcomes and theirs. We can trust the drama and give fully to our roles. Every day is a gift exchange. I give, and I will receive. You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go. Letting Go of Shame Many of us were victimized, sometimes more than once. We may have been physically abused, sexually abused, or exploited by the addictions of another. Understand that if another person has abused us, it is not cause for us to feel shame. The guilt for the act of abuse belongs to the perpetrator, not the victim. Even if in recovery we fall prey to being victimized, that is not cause for shame. The goal of recovery is learning self-care, learning to free ourselves from victimization, and not to blame ourselves for past experiences. The goal is to arm ourselves so we do not continue to be victimized due to the shame and unresolved feelings from the original victimization. We each have our own work, our issues, and our recovery tasks. One of those tasks is to stop pointing our finger at the perpetrator, because it distracts us. Although we hold each person responsible and accountable for his or her behavior, we learn compassion for the perpetrator. We understand that many forces have come into play in that person's life. At the same time, we do not hold on to shame. We learn to understand the role we played in our victimization, how we fell into that role and did not rescue ourselves. But that is information to arm us so that it need not happen again. Let go of victim shame. We have issues and tasks, but our issue is not to feel guilty and wrong because we have been victimized. Today, I will set myself free from any victim shame I may be harboring or hanging on to. I feel lighter and better about myself when I don't procrastinate. Today I am discovering the freedom of completing at last one thing that I don't put off. --Ruth Fishel *************************************** Journey To The Heart Discover True Power Much of our journey involves learning about power. We learn about the powers we don’t have– the power to control others, sometimes ourselves, and fate. We discover our true power– the power to take an endless journey into freedom and love. We talk about, experience, and experiment with many kinds of power along the way. The power of authority. The power of money. The power of prestige. The power of control. The power of rage, anger, intimidation. We see many kinds of negative powers– manipulation, deceit, fraud. We see people trying to steal power from others. We see people letting others take their power away, crawling into shells, hiding, and being dragged along by others. We see that many forms of power are illusions. Money goes just so far. Prestige is fleeting. Popularity holds no immunity from life’s experiences. Control is only momentary, we turn our backs and the situation reverts. We trudge the road searching for power, learning about our own. Somewhere on the journey, we begin to see the truth. It awakens quietly within us, shaking our soul, transforming our vision, teaching us what we knew all along. The power that lasts, the power that stays is the power of the heart. Stillness. Faith. Gentleness. Kindness. Compassion. Joy. Forgiveness. Comfort. Vulnerability. Honesty. Courage. And love. Now we’re talking about power. *************************************** More Language Of Letting Go Celebrate Look at your life. Look back at the path that you’ve walked this far and celebrate. One of the joys of walking to the top of a mountain is looking back at how far you’ve come. It’s wonderful to stand on a high ridge and see the tiny footpath stretching off into the distance. Celebrate with awe how far you’ve come in those first few steps of sobriety and in your faith and willingness to let go of your fears. Celebrate those first faltering moments of learning what it meant to take care of yourself. Even now, with each step you take, you are being transformed. Celebrate! Turn around. Look. See how far you’ve come. Celebrate the journey that you’ve taken so far. And look forward to the adventure that lies ahead. God, help me celebrate all our triumphs. Thank you for walking with me, even when I felt I was walking alone. *************************************** A Clear Current Maintaining the Flow by Madisyn Taylor Life energy flows through us like a swift stream when there is nothing to obstruct it. The essence of all being is energy. Our physical and ethereal selves depend on the unrestricted flow of life energy that is the source of wholeness and wellness. Though the channels through which this energy flows are open systems and influenced by factors outside of our control, we ultimately choose what impact these will have in our lives. It is up to us to identify and clear blockages in the energy field to ensure that flow is maintained. A healthy, grounded individual absorbs some portion of the energy emitted by other people and the environment, but this does not interrupt the continuous stream of balanced energy sustaining them. The same individual copes constructively with stress and upset, and they are not subject to the stagnation that frequently goes hand in hand with negativity. When we keep the energy in and around our bodies flowing harmoniously, we are naturally healthy, vibrant, and peaceful. Life energy flows through us like a swift stream when there is nothing to obstruct it, but various forces such as trauma, downbeat vibrations, and disappointments act like stones that impede the current. If we allow these to pile up, our life energy is thrown off its course or blocked entirely, causing illness, restlessness, and a lack of vigor. If, however, we take the time to clear these forces away, we rob them of the power to impact our lives. When we cultivate simple yet affirmative habits such as taking regular cleansing baths, practicing meditation and breathing exercises, smudging, and self-shielding, we protect ourselves from outside influences that might otherwise impede our energy flow. Likewise, we lessen the impact of inner influences when we clear our auras of unwanted attachments and divest ourselves of blocked emotions. A strong and fluid energy field is the key that unlocks the doors of self-healing and peace of mind. Your awareness of the flow of energy sustaining you empowers you to take charge of your own well-being by taking steps to unblock, correct, and enhance that flow. Fear will likely be the culprit when you cannot identify the source of stagnation—you may simply be afraid to let go of what is obstructing the flow. Letting go can be challenging, but the exuberance you will feel when the flow is restored will be a welcome and blessed reward. Published with permission from Daily OM *************************************** A Day At A Time Reflection For The Day When I finally convince myself to let go of a problem that’s been tearing me apart — when I take the action to set aside my will and let God handle the problem — my torment subsides immediately. If I continue to stay out of my own way, then solutions begin to unfold and reveal themselves. More and more, I’m coming to accept the limitations of my human understanding and power. More and more, I’m learning to let go and trust my Higher Power for the answers and the help. Do I keep in the forefront of my mind the fact that only God is all-wise and all-powerful? Today I Pray If I come across a stumbling-block, may I learn to step out of the way and let God remove it. May I realize my human limitations at problem-solving, since I can never begin to predict God’s solutions until I see them happening. May I know that whatever answer I come to, God may have a better one. Today I Will Remember God has a better answer. *************************************** One More Day A leader is a dealer in hope. –Napoleon Bonaparte A good leader doesn’t always have the firmest hand or the most knowledge about a subject, but instead has the ability to develop hope and enthusiasm for success in others. Leading others often means being a role model; it means confidently marching forward, not pushing others from behind. We all are leaders at one time or another. Raising children or working with others or nurturing relationships — all require leadership at times. Our health care also requires our leadership, and we find the most success when we lead with a hopeful spirit. That hope is reflected in our cooperation with the medical community, and it is also shown in our eagerness to live life fully and joyfully. My hope, enthusiasm, and growth help me and others deal with chronic illness. ************************************ Food For Thought Stretching If we do only what feels good and what is comfortable, we do not grow. If we do not stretch our minds, we vegetate intellectually. If we do not discipline our bodies, we become physically flabby and weak. If we do not exercise our goodwill, we stay emotionally immature. To settle for minimum achievement is to miss the satisfaction of accomplishing more than we once thought possible. It is trite but true that we never know what we can do until we try. Abstaining from all refined sugars and carbohydrates may have seemed impossible to us at one time. Accomplishing this, through the help of our Higher Power and OA, makes possible other achievements that we formerly may have considered to be beyond our reach. In this program, the only way we can fail is by not continuing to try. By abstaining from compulsive overeating and working the Twelve Steps, we can stretch ourselves to a fuller extent of our physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual potential. May I not be too lazy to stretch as far as I can. ***************************************** One Day At A Time ~ FORGIVENESS ~ We realized that the people who wronged us were spiritually sick. When a person offended we said to ourselves, "This is a sick man. How can I be helpful to him? God save me from being angry. Thy will be done." Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous This has been one of the most important paragraphs for me in recovery. I have used it for any type of hurt I have in reaction to another person. Besides my asking God to save me from anger, I ask God to heal all feelings I have toward that person that block me from having a closer relationship with the God of my understanding. For me, this has meant I have had to learn to forgive everyone who my thinking told me had injured me in some way. I was unable to do this no matter how hard I tried. I prayed to the God of my understanding to teach me how to forgive those others and to work with my heart to create that forgiveness. It involved a long process of discovering my part and the other's part; separating acts from people. Once I had done this work and knew in my heart that God had given me the miracle to forgive these people, an interesting thing happened. During Step Four and Five work, my sponsor told me I also had to forgive myself. I discovered, by going through this process, that working through the anger and pain, I ended up also having forgiven myself. For me, it wasn't enough to tell another person all my Fourth Step. I had to feel the feelings in my heart and give them to God to heal. Then, after I truly forgave others I could forgive myself. I wasn't able to forgive myself until I gave it away to others. One Day at a Time . . . I will remember that God will help me in anything I ask, the answer just may be different than I expected. When the miracle occurs I will be able to see God's hand in it. Judy A. ***************************************** AA 'Big Book' - Quote As a class, alcoholics are energetic people. They work hard and they play hard. Your man should be on his mettle to make good. Being somewhat weakened, and faced with physical and mental readjustment to a life which knows no alcohol, he may overdo. You may have to curb his desire to work sixteen hours a day. You may need to encourage him to play once in a while. He may wish to do a lot for other alcoholics and something of the sort may come up during business hours. A reasonable amount of latitude will be helpful. This work is necessary to maintain his sobriety. - Pg. 146 - To Employers Hour To Hour - Book - Quote Fragments of our addiction never stop calling, 'Hey, just one won't hurt; look, what's so wrong with going to that party; it's disloyal to stop seeing old friends.' But those of us who've been around awhile recognize the 'callings' for what they are. Give the 'calls' an inch and we KNOW addiction takes a mile. When my mind is niggled with addiction excuses for setting myself up, may I follow program advice and call my sponsor or counselor. Meditation Today, I recognize the source of light and wisdom that is within me. When I look outside myself to learn about what is actually inside, I need to exercise great discernment because some of what I see fits and some does not. There is a fountain within me that is ever full and waiting to be discovered. When I can rest quietly in this inner place, I experience a sense of fullness, and my desire to go outside diminishes and gives way to a preference for undisturbed peace. Solitude takes on a different meaning when I can contact that quiet within. Life softens and external things become less important. I look for this place within me on a daily basis. I give myself this present today. I search within. - Tian Dayton PhD Pocket Sponsor - Book - Quote When the pain of where you were is worse than the discomfort of where you are going, then you'll move. The pain of my growth is a good sign, not a stop sign. "Walk Softly and Carry a Big Book" - Book Life without recovery: Even roses have thorns. Life in recovery: Even thorns have roses. Time for Joy - Book - Quote I feel lighter and better about myself when I don't procrastinate. Today I am discovering the freedom of completing at last one thing that I don't put off. Alkiespeak - Book - Quote You hear all kinds of nonsense. Like: 'If you're in pain you're not working the program.' 'If you're afraid, you're not working the Steps.' Believing that nearly tore me apart for years. How can you possibly practice spiritual principles without going through periods, not only of pain, but of suffering and unbelievable agony? It's impossible. Because what I'm doing is uprooting illusions that I've based my very life on; all those old ideas, those lies I believed, and I'm wrenching them out. Like having six teeth pulled with no sedative - And I'm going to feel good? - Cubby S.
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December 7
Daily Reflections TRUE AMBITION True ambition is not what we thought it was. True ambition is the deep desire to live usefully and walk humbly under the grace of God. TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, pp. 124-25 During my drinking years, my one and only concern was to have my fellow man think highly of me. My ambition in everything I did was to have the power to be at the top. My inner self kept telling me something else but I couldn't accept it. I didn't even allow myself to realize that I wore a mask continually. Finally, when the mask came off and I cried out to the only God I could conceive, the Fellowship of A.A., my group and the Twelve Steps were there. I learned how to change resentments into acceptance, fear into hope and anger into love. I have learned also, through loving without undue expectations, through sharing my concerns and caring for my fellow man, that each day can be joyous and fruitful. I begin and end my day with thanks to God, who has so generously shed His grace on me. ************************************************** ********* Twenty-Four Hours A Day A.A. Thought For The Day When people come back to A.A. after having a slip, the temptation is strong to say nothing about it. No other A.A. member should force them to declare themselves. It is entirely up to them. If they are well-grounded in A.A., they will realize that it's up to them to speak up at the next meeting and tell about their slip. There is no possible evasion of this duty, if they are thoroughly honest and really desirous of living the A.A. way again. When they have done it, their old confidence returns. They are home again. Their slip should not be mentioned again by others. They are again a good member of A.A. Am I tolerant of other peoples' mistakes? Meditation For The Day It is in the union of a soul with God that strength, new life and spiritual power come. Bread sustains the body but we cannot live by bread alone. To try to do God's will is the meat and support of true living. We feed on that spiritual food. Soul starvation comes from failing to do so. The world talks about bodies that are undernourished. What of the souls that are undernourished? Strength and peace come from partaking of spiritual food. Prayer For The Day I pray that I may not try to live by bread alone. I pray that my spirit may live by trying to do the will of God as I understand it. ************************************************** ********* As Bill Sees It Foundation For Life, p. 33 We discover that we receive guidance for our lives to just about the extent that we stop making demands upon God to give it to us on order and on our terms. << << << >> >> >> In praying, we ask simply that throughout the day God place in us the best understanding of His will that we can have for that day, and that we be given the grace by which we may carry it out. << << << >> >> >> There is a direct linkage among self-examination, meditation, and prayer. Taken separately, these practices can bring much relief and benefit. But when they are logically related and interwoven, the result is an unshakable foundation for life. 12 & 12 1. p. 104 2. p. 102 3. p. 98 ************************************************** ********* Walk In Dry Places What rather than who Principles before Personalities. We're sometimes led to do something because a persuasive or important person recommends it. This is, in fact, the strategy behind endorsement advertising. We learn in AA that it's more important to ask what is right that who is offering a course of action. If a course of action is right, it matters not who recommends it. If it is wrong, a dozen important poeole cannot make it right by endorsing it. There are, indeed, many important people whom we can know and trust. But we should always remember that every human being will turn out to have clay feet if he or she is set up as a god. Our trust must always be in our Higher Power and in principles that never fail. I'll not be unduly impressed today by persuasive, charismatic people. I'll follow their ideas only if I believe them to be right. Principles have a precedence over personality. ************************************************** ********* Keep It Simple We are here to add what we can to, not to get what we can get from, Life. Sir William Osler Service is a word we hear in our recovery program. Service means work we do for others. It's the backbone of our program. The reason is simple. Service to our Higher Power and to others breaks down our wanting to be self-centered. Service brings us back into the world. We really are part of the group when we pitch in to make coffee, set up chairs, or talk in meetings. We really feel like part of the family when we run errands and help with meals and housework. We really connect with our Higher Power when we pray, "Use me today to help others." Service breaks down the feeling of being alone that being self -centered brings. Prayer for the Day: Higher Power, help me to be of service to You and others. Show me what is needed. Action for the Day: Today will be a service day. I'll see how valued I am. I'll give to others, knowing that I, too, will receive. ************************************************** ********* Each Day a New Beginning Promises that you make to yourself are often like the Japanese plum tree--they bear no fruit. --Frances Marion The resolve to fulfill commitments we make to ourselves and others may be lacking until we learn to rely on the wisdom and strength offered by our higher power--strength that will make us confident in any situation; wisdom that will insure our right actions. What is difficult alone is always eased in partnership. We promise ourselves changed behavior, new habits, perhaps, or a positive attitude. But then we proceed to focus on our liabilities, giving them even more power, a greater hold over us. We can practice our assets, and they'll foster the promises we want to keep. No longer need we shame ourselves about unfulfilled promises. Whatever our desires, whatever our commitments, if for the good of others and ourselves, they will come to fruition. We can ask for direction. We can ask for resolve, and each worthy hope and unrealized promise will become reality. My assets, when strengthened through use, pave the way for God's help. Any promise can bear fruit when I make it in partnership with God. ************************************************** ********* Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition Chapter 8 - TO WIVES It is probably true that you and your husband have been living too much alone, for drinking many times isolates the wife of an alcoholic. Therefore, you probably need fresh interests and a great cause to live for as much as your husband. If you cooperate, rather than complain, you will find that his excess enthusiasm will tone down. Both of you will awaken to a new sense of responsibility for others. You, as well as your husband, ought to think of what you can put into life instead of how much you can take out. Inevitably your lives will be fuller for doing so. You will lose the old life to find one much better. pp. 119-120 ************************************************** ********* Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition Stories TWICE GIFTED - Diagnosed with cirrhosis, this sick alcoholic got sobriety--plus a lifesaving liver transplant. Up until the moment I realized I might have to give up drinking. I had believed I was perfectly happy. I had a fine life, a good job, a nice place to live, a car, friends, all the things I thought I needed in life. Ideas of getting help to quit drinking had surfaced but were fleeting and never grew into anything like reaching out. My health had finally taken a serious turn for the worse. I was frequently unable to get out of bed even to go to work, and strange new problems were exhibiting themselves with regularity. I resolved to divorce myself from the bottle, but trying to stop alone was disastrous. During the dry periods, I was very weak and sick. Then at times I would drink, and it was out of control. I would isolate and binge; those last drunks ended in episodes of uncontrollable shaking, dry heaves, and even hallucinations. At the end I was scared and suffering, and I felt as though I were absolutely alone in the world. p. 472 ************************************************** ********* Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions Step Five - "Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs." Another great dividend we may expect from confiding our defects to another human being is humility--a word often misunderstood. To those who have made progress in A.A., it amounts to a clear recognition of what and who we really are, followed by a sincere attempt to become what we could be. Therefore, our first practical move toward humility must consist of recognizing our deficiencies. No defect can be corrected unless we clearly see what it is. But we shall have to do more than see. The objective look at ourselves we achieved in Step Four was, after all, only a look. All of us saw, for example, that we lacked honesty and tolerance, that we were beset at times by attacks of self-pity or delusions of personal grandeur. But while this was a humiliating experience, it didn't necessarily mean that we had yet acquired much actual humility. Though now recognized, our defects were still there. Something had to be done about them. And we soon found that we could not wish or will them away by ourselves. p. 58 ************************************************** ********* The heart is wiser than the intellect. --Josiah Holland (1819-1881) You give but little when you give of your possessions. It is when you give of yourself that you truly give. --Kahlil Gibran The human contribution is the essential ingredient. It is only in the giving of oneself to others that we truly live. --Ethel Percy Andrus One of the great gifts of sobriety is learning to see beauty in things not always with the eyes, but with the feeling of the heart. --Shelley "When you get in a tight place and everything goes against you, till it seems as though you could not hold on a minute longer, never give up then, for that is just the place and time that the tide will turn." --Harriet Beecher Stowe "When you come to the end of your rope, tie a knot and hang on." --Franklin D. Roosevelt ************************************************** ********* Father Leo's Daily Meditation REALITY "Man is a complex being: he makes deserts bloom and lakes die." -- Gil Stern I am a mixture of good and bad. When I was drinking I could be cruel, sarcastic and violent and at other times loving, sensitive and thoughtful. Today in my recovery I know I can be honest, humble and creative, but I also carry within me a dark and destructive side that often hurts, lies and seeks negative power. What a mixture I was and what a mixture I still am! From all my many conversations with a variety of people I have discovered that this is what it is to be human. Today I am able to accept this and develop my spiritual life. I am not perfect, but I try to improve my attitude and behavior. I am not God, but I can aspire to be the best that I can be. Today I own the sickness in my life, but I also accept the responsibility for recovery. With my feet in the dirt, I look to the stars. ************************************************** ********* “To you, O lord, I called; to the Lord I cried for mercy: ‘What gain is there in my destruction, in my going down to the pit? Will the dust praise you? Will it proclaim your faithfulness? Hear, O Lord, and be merciful to me; O Lord, be my help.’ You turned my wailing into dancing; you removed my sackcloth and clothed me with joy, that my heart may sing to you and not be silent. O Lord my God, I will give you thanks forever.” Psalms 30: 8-12 "Create in me a clean heart, O God, and put a new and right spirit within me." Psalm 51:10 ************************************************** ********* Daily Inspiration For everyone there is a way to serve and honor God in this life on earth. Lord, let me seize every opportunity, no matter how small, to glorify You, make you better known and always bring myself and others closer to You. Part with what you cherish if it separates you or leads you away from God. Lord, help me place my heart in the right place so that I am not distracted in my journey to Eternal Life. ************************************************** ********* NA Just For Today Surviving Our Emotions "We use the tools available to us and develop the ability to survive our emotions." Basic Text pg. 30 "Survive my emotions?" some of us say. "You've got to be kidding!" When we were using, we never gave ourselves the chance to learn how to survive them. You don't survive your feelings, we thought-you drug them. The problem was, that "cure" for our unsurvivable emotions was killing us. That's when we came to Narcotics Anonymous, started working the Twelve Steps and, as a result, began to mature emotionally. Many of us found emotional relief right from the start. We were tired of pretending that our addiction and our lives were under control; it actually felt good to finally admit they weren't. After sharing our inventory with our sponsor, we began to feel like we didn't have to deny who we were or what we felt in order to be accepted. When we'd finished making our amends, we knew we didn't have to suffer with guilt; we could own up to it and it wouldn't kill us. The more we worked the NA program, the better we felt about living life as it came to us. The program works today as well as it ever did. By taking stock of our day, getting honest about our part in it, and surrendering to reality, we can survive the feelings life throws our way. By using the tools available to us, we've developed the ability to survive our emotions. Just for today: I will not deny my feelings. I will practice honesty and surrender to life as it is. I will use the tools of this program to survive my emotions. ************************************************** ********* You are reading from the book Today's Gift. Only people who have joyfully accepted themselves can take all the risks and responsibilities of being themselves. --John Powell If we have ever gone to school with a black eye, we know how embarrassing it can be. We feel self-conscious and ill at ease. Friends come up to us one after another to ask how we got it. We may want to stay away from people until the eye is better. All of us have things about ourselves we have a hard time accepting. It doesn't have to be as unusual as a black eye. We may think we're too big, too little, too slow, not good readers, not good looking enough, or not popular enough. We may need to talk about these things with someone else, so these bits of ourselves we don't accept won't limit our freedom to grow. By talking to another, we may find those traits aren't noticed by anyone but ourselves. We may also find that what we once thought of as weak points can be turned to strengths. What weakness can I turn to a strength today? You are reading from the book Touchstones. Seldom, or perhaps never, does a marriage develop into an individual relationship smoothly and without crises; there is no coming to consciousness without pain. --Carl Jung We don't seek perfect relationships in marriage or in other places in our lives. What we seek instead are real and honest connections. Perfection has a picture-book form, but it has no depth and no personality. This means that sometimes we will get upset with others, or they will get upset with us. We need a basic commitment to stay in the relationship dialogue, to continue returning to it as long as both people are willing to work on it. Working through crises is how a relationship grows from simply being an idea to having its unique reality. We will be frightened by the rough spots. We will wonder if there is something wrong with us or with the other person, or the relationship. We cannot escape such questions. To run from the difficulties cuts off the possibilities for growth. It is a frightening thing to become real, to come into consciousness. Today, I pray for courage to remain honest and faithful to real relationships through the crises. You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning. Promises that you make to yourself are often like the Japanese plum tree--they bear no fruit. --Frances Marion The resolve to fulfill commitments we make to ourselves and others may be lacking until we learn to rely on the wisdom and strength offered by our higher power--strength that will make us confident in any situation; wisdom that will insure our right actions. What is difficult alone is always eased in partnership. We promise ourselves changed behavior, new habits, perhaps, or a positive attitude. But then we proceed to focus on our liabilities, giving them even more power, a greater hold over us. We can practice our assets, and they'll foster the promises we want to keep. No longer need we shame ourselves about unfulfilled promises. Whatever our desires, whatever our commitments, if for the good of others and ourselves, they will come to fruition. We can ask for direction. We can ask for resolve, and each worthy hope and unrealized promise will become reality. My assets, when strengthened through use, pave the way for God's help. Any promise can bear fruit when I make it in partnership with God. You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go. When the Time is Right There are times when we simply do not know what to do, or where to go, next. Sometimes these periods are brief, sometimes lingering. We can get through these times. We can rely on our program and the disciplines of recovery. We can cope by using our faith, other people, and our resources. Accept uncertainty. We do not always have to know what to do or where to go next. We do not always have clear direction. Refusing to accept the inaction and limbo makes things worse. It is okay to temporarily be without direction. Say, "I don't know," and be comfortable with that. We do not have to try to force wisdom, knowledge, or clarity when there is none. While waiting for direction, we do not have to put our life on hold. Let go of anxiety and enjoy life. Relax. Do something fun. Enjoy the love and beauty in your life. Accomplish small tasks. They may have nothing to do with solving the problem, or finding direction, but this is what we can do in the interim. Clarity will come. The next step will present itself. Indecision, inactivity, and lack of direction will not last forever. Today, I will accept my circumstances even if I lack direction and insight. I will remember to do things that make myself and others feel good during those times. I will trust that clarity will come of its own accord. Today I know that I can get through anything that happens in this day with the help of my Higher Power. --Ruth Fishel *************************************** Journey To The Heart Let Go of Feeling Overwhelmed So often the simple tasks of life can seem overwhelming. But feeling overwhelmed is only a reaction to them. Many things need to be done–laundry, housekeeping, car maintenance, bills, taxes, appointments, work– the everyday responsibilities of our lives. The task of quietly beginning, doing the first step of the first task can help us find our way through. Once we begin, we see that things aren’t overwhelming. The simple act of setting to the task simplifies it. Our sense of peace reappears in the magic of the present moment. Magic and power don’t come from contemplating all that lies ahead, how much needs to be done, all that might go wrong, whether we’ll get through. That’s fear. We don’t find the magic and power by denying, escaping, or ignoring our feelings, even feelings of being overwhelmed. Feel what you need to feel. Release it. Go forward in love, one moment at a time. We will be given the power to do all we need to do. Take the simple steps that lie before you. Take one step at a time. You’ll find the way again. *************************************** More Language Of Letting Go Enjoy your successes Eventually, if you put enough effort into something, it gets finished. The house is built, the picture is painted, the report is completed. Let yourself rest and relax in those moments. Take a moment to enjoy the feeling of completeness. That moment will be a fleeting one. There are many more ideas and tasks waiting around the bend. Gaining experience and learning lessons from failed efforts is an important part of our path. But success feels good,too, and it’s meant to be enjoyed. If you’ve had a recent accomplishment in your life, take some time off. Celebrate it. Celebrate those smaller moments of victory,too. Sit back, look at what you’ve done and say, “It is good.” Take yourself out to dinner, take a vacation, or even a short trip to the beach. Reflect on your past successes. Forget about your failures and the things that went wrong. Think about all that you’ve done right in your life, the things that have worked out, the answered prayers. Don’t just stare at your problems and everything that’s gone wrong. Look at what’s right about your life,too. Sit back and rest for a moment. Then say, How sweet it is. God, thank you for all my victories, for all the challenges you’ve helped me meet. Thanks for all those times you answered my prayers and met my needs. Help me rest and celebrate the good in my life. *************************************** Listening and Responding Body Language by Madisyn Taylor Tuning in to the language of our bodies can be very enlightening and increases our intuition. So much can be revealed to us when we listen to the language of our bodies. Our bodies are always speaking, sending us messages through the way we move, the sensations that arise from within, and the gestures and expressions that we make when we are communicating with others. Tuning in to the language of our bodies can be very enlightening, especially as most communication is believed to take place nonverbally. It is also believed that the body never lies, and that if we want to know the truth about ourselves and others, then we should listen to what our bodies have to say. Anyone who has ever flirted with someone they are attracted to has probably, at one point in time or another, brushed their hands through their hair or found themselves leaning forward to get closer to that person. Someone feeling defensive will tend to cross their arms over their chest, while a person who wants to withhold something may look away when speaking. If you want to know how you truly feel about a person or a situation, then it is a good idea to tune in to what you are feeling inside. Excitement, nervousness, anxiety, and fear are just some of the messages that your body wants you to hear. Your body can also be a very reliable compass. Anyone who has ever been somewhere they don’t want to be has probably experienced their bodies trying to move them away from that particular circumstance. And while it can be very easy to talk ourselves into and out of choices we may make with our minds, it isn’t so easy to change the truth of our hearts that reside within our bodies. To begin tuning in to this subtle form of communication, start taking the time to notice what your body is telling you. Greet each feeling or sensation as a message carrying wisdom from your body. Tune in to what your body is telling you about the situations and people you encounter and listen to what others are communicating to you through their bodies. We already are subconsciously receptive to the language of our bodies, but when we choose to consciously pay attention, we hear and understand so much more about ourselves and the people around us. Published with permission from Daily OM *************************************** A Day At A Time Reflection For The Day As long as I stubbornly hang on to the conviction that I can live solely by my individual strength and intelligence, for just that long a working faith in my Higher Power is impossible. This is true no matter how strongly I believe that God exists. My religious beliefs — no matter how sincere — will remain forever lifeless if I continue trying to play God myself. What it comes down to, we find, is that as long as we place self-reliance first, true reliance upon a Higher Power is out of the question. How strong is my desire to seek and do God’s will? Today I Pray I pray that I may not place my self-reliance above reliance of God. May I know that there is no conflict between taking responsibility for my own actions, which I have been taught is the essence of maturit7y, and looking to God for guidance. May I remember that if I stick to the “do-it-myself” rule, it is like refusing to ask for a road map from a tourist information bureau — and wandering around forever lost. Today I Will Remember Maturity is knowing where to go for help. *************************************** One More Day Man adjusts to what he should not; he is unable to adjust to what he should –Jean Toomer Most teenagers love French fries, pop, and candy bars. We know that most fast-food and sugar is bad for us — and so do teenagers — but many of us continue to munch on junk food. Now that we have an adult’s perspective, one would think that adjusting to new things or getting rid of bad habits would become easier. No so! Adjusting to change is not easy, particularly when it involves our health. One of the most difficult problems is maintaining a balance between dealing with the chronic problem and wanting to live without it. We learn, despite our resistance to change, that we can have an illness and can adjust — we can remain strong and happy. I am confident of my ability to deal with my illness, and live a good life. ************************************ Food For Thought A Permanent Disability Compulsive overeating is a permanent disability. We do not look forward to becoming normal eaters at some point in the future. Until we accept the fact that our illness is irreversible, we do not learn how to control it. We have all tried innumerable methods of regaining the ability to eat normally and spontaneously. Perhaps the most common delusion was believing that once we were thin enough we would be able to eat whatever and however we pleased. We may have thought that if only we could straighten out our interpersonal relationships and arrange circumstances to suit us, then we would no longer be plagued by compulsive overeating. When I accept the fact that I am and always will be a compulsive overeater, no matter what my weight or how ideal my situation, I accept reality. I will have to live with this disease and control it, with the help of my Higher Power and OA, for the rest of my life. Abstinence is not a temporary cure for my illness, but a permanent method of control. May I understand the full extent of my disability. ***************************************** One Day At A Time ~ CHANGE ~ If we don't change, we don't grow. If we don't grow, we are not really living. Gail Sheehy Throughout my life, I have been terrified of change. To me, change meant abandoning one set of experiences which, although adverse, were at least familiar. I thought I'd be replacing them with another set of experiences which would surely be at least as bad, and which had the additional disadvantage of being unknown. In this program, I was appalled to see a whole room of people who spoke enthusiastically, joyfully, about the changes that the program was bringing to their lives --not just in terms of released weight, but in so many areas of day-to-day living. Panic-stricken at the idea that I, too, would change, I talked about it after the first meeting with a dear friend. "Hey," she smiled. "No one's forcing you. If changing gets too scary, you can always decide you want to stay put." Armed with that slight reassurance, I decided I would go with the program until it got too scary. In the course of the next weeks, as I maintained strict abstinence and began to work the Steps, strange things began to happen, imperceptibly at first. I found myself looking forward to getting up in the morning and adding all kinds of things to my morning ritual: body lotion, foot care, cosmetics. Amazingly, my life-long habit of nail-biting disappeared, and my nails are not only well-tended, but polished! On the professional level, I started keeping a list of projects due, instead of relying on my sketchy memory. I hired someone to answer phones and to help keep my eternally messy desk more or less clear. Most important, I have started an honest reassessment of my relationship with my life partner, and have decided that it's not enough that this is the first relationship of my life that is free of physical abuse; I deserve to be loved and desired, and to have that love and desire expressed. At a face-to-face program meeting this week, I read the Promises. I was amazed to hear a strong, confident voice--mine--saying "Our whole attitude and outlook upon life will change," and I realized that I was changing. I love it! One Day at a Time . . . I will welcome change, for change is growth, and I will know that, now that I have placed my life in the hands of my Higher Power, any change will be for the better. Sharon N. ***************************************** AA 'Big Book' - Quote Our hope is that when this chip of a book is launched on the world tide of alcoholism, defeated drinkers will seize upon it, to follow it's suggestions. Many, we are sure, will rise to their feet and march on. They will approach still other sick ones and fellowships of Alcoholics Anonymous may spring up in each city and hamlet, havens for those who must find a way out. - Pg. 153 - A Vision For You Hour To Hour - Book - Quote Every day of sobriety is a high degree of attainment. On this early day of sobriety, we have attained another day of dignity, another day with no new regrets, and another day to hold our head up high. As I hold my head high today, I look in the mirror and say, 'Hi ______. Happy _____(put in the number) day of sobriety. You're doing fantastic!' Who Am I? Today I will ask this question over and over again. I will not expect an answer. I will ask for the sake of asking, I will ask in order to put my mind in the frame of searching for a deeper life of the spirit, I will ask to be guided, toward awareness of all that is eternal. I will ask this question throughout my life without ever expecting or insisting upon an answer. I understand that God lives in the asking, that God is too great and vast to reduce to any simple answer, that God lives in the question. I am curious about the deeper mysteries of this life - Tian Dayton PhD Pocket Sponsor - Book - Quote 'We could never learn to be brave and patient, if there were only joy in the world.' ~Helen Keller My adversities are opportunities in disguise. "Walk Softly and Carry a Big Book" - Book Don't try to be normal; try to be healthy. Time for Joy - Book - Quote Today I know that I can get through anything that happens in this day with the help of my Higher Power. Alkiespeak - Book - Quote I told the operator I wanted to talk to Alcoholics Anonymous - this was 28 years ago - so instead of giving me the Central Office she gave me the local Alano Club. The person picked up and said: 'Hello.' and gave the phone number. I said: 'I want to talk to whoever's in charge.' - I always believed in going immediately to the top. And there was a hell of an argument on the other end, as they snatched the phone away from each other while they decided who was in charge. Finally, one guy got on and said - and doesn't this make sense? Listen to this; he said: 'Our Higher Power can't speak to you on the phone right now, but I have been authorized to speak in His behalf on any issues of recovery.' - Franny S.
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December 8
Daily Reflections SERVICE Life will take on a new meaning. To watch people recover, to see them help others, to watch loneliness vanish, to see a fellowship grow up about you. to have a host of friends - this is an experience you must not miss. . . . Frequent contact with newcomers and with each other is the bright spot of our lives. ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, p. 89 It is through service that the greatest rewards are to be found. But to be in a position of offering true, useful and effective service to others, I must first work on myself. This means that I have to abandon myself to God, admitting my faults and clearing away the wreckage of my past. Work on myself has taught me how to find the necessary peace and serenity to successfully merge inspiration and experience. I have learned how to be, in the truest sense, an open channel of sobriety. ************************************************** ********* Twenty-Four Hours A Day A.A. Thought For The Day The length of time of our sobriety is not as important as the quality of it. A person who has been in A.A. for a number of years may not be in as good mental condition as a person who has only been in a few months. It is a great satisfaction to have been an A.A. member for a long time and we often mention it. It may sometimes help the newer members, because they may say to themselves, if they can do it I can do it. And yet the older members must realize that as long as they live they are only one drink away from a drunk. What is the quality of my sobriety? Meditation For The Day "And greater works than this shall ye do." We can do greater works when we have more experience of the new way of life. We can have all the power we need from the Unseen God. We can have His grace, His spirit, to make us effective as we go along each day. Opportunities for a better world are all around us. Greater works can we do. But we do not work alone. The power of God is behind all good works. Prayer For The Day I pray that I may find my rightful place in the world. I pray that my works may be made more effective by the grace of God. ************************************************** ********* As Bill Sees It Two-Way Tolerance, p. 73 "Your point of view was once mine. Fortunately, A.A. is constructed so that we need not debate the existence of God; but for best results, most of us must depend upon a Higher Power, and no right-minded A.A. would challenge your privilege to believe precisely that way. We should all be glad that good recoveries can be made even on this limited basis. "But turnabout is fair play. If you would expect tolerance for your point of view, I am sure you would be willing to reciprocate. I try to remember that, down through the centuries, lots of brighter people than I have been found on both sides of this debate about belief. For myself, of late years, I am finding it much easier to believe that God made man, than that man made God." Letter, 1966 ************************************************** ********* Walk In Dry Places A new frame of mind Mood Control Long after AA was started, the term mood-altering drug came into vogue. Though this originally was applied to hard drugs, it is also true of alcohol. There's nothing wrong with wanting to alter one's mood. None of us really wants to be depressed, anxious, or fearful. We're all looking for ways to stay happy and high-spirited. The problem with all mood-altering drugs, alcohol included, is that they provide temporary highs while bringing on long-term destruction and enslavement. We would love to have those highs if they did not carry such a terrible price. But we can seek a new frame of mind in sober living that will give us better moods without destroying us. This is "the peace that passes all understanding," and it comes only from living the right way and listening to our Higher Power. This is the only mood control that really works. I want to be in a good mood today, but it must be as a result of having a healthy frame of mind. I have no desire for the false highs that were killing me. ************************************************** ********* Keep It Simple "When I was about 12, I used to think I must be a genius, but nobody's noticed."---John Lennon. "We all have secret ideas about ourselves. How often we have said to ourselves, If only They knew...But if we watch others, we see that many of their ideas are not so secret. We can often guess how they see themselves by the way they act. We all act out our secrets. Faith means trusting our Higher Power with our secrets. Faith in others means trusting them with our secret feelings. Why share these secrets? When we were using alcohol or other drugs we lived too much in a secret world. We need to give up the secrets that keep us from others. We need others in our lives. Our spirits need to be close to others. Prayer for the Day: God, help me to live in ways I'm not ashamed to tell others. Allow me to meet you and others, free of shame. Action for the Day: Today, I'll share one of my secrets w/ a loving friend." ************************************************** ********* Each Day a New Beginning I have found that sitting in a place where you have never sat before can be inspiring. --Dodie Smith Repeatedly, today and every day, we will be in new situations, new settings with old friends, and old settings and situations with new friends. Each instance is fresh, unlike all the times before. And inspiration can accompany each moment, if we but recognize how special it is. "We will not pass this way again," so the song says, which heightens the meaning of each encounter, every experience. Acknowledging that something can be gained each step along the way invites inspiration. Inspiration moves us to new heights. We will be called to step beyond our present boundaries. Maybe today. Whenever the inspiration catches our attention, we can trust its invitation; we are ready for the challenge it offers. We need not let our narrow, personal expectations of an experience, a new situation perhaps, prevent us from being open to all the dynamic possibilities it offers. I must be willing to let my whole self be moved, inspired. I must be willing to let each moment I experience be the only moment getting my attention. ************************************************** ********* Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition Chapter 8 - TO WIVES Perhaps your husband will make a fair start on the new basis, but just as things are going beautifully he dismays you be coming home drunk. If you are satisfied he really wants to get over drinking, you need not be alarmed. Though it is infinitely better that he have no relapse at all, as has been true with many of our men, it is by no means a bad thing in some cases. Your husband will see at once that he must redouble his spiritual activities if he expects to survive. You need not remind him of his spiritual deficiency—he will know of it. Cheer him up and ask him how you can be still more helpful. p. 120 ************************************************** ********* Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition Stories TWICE GIFTED - Diagnosed with cirrhosis, this sick alcoholic got sobriety--plus a lifesaving liver transplant. A series of circumstances brought me to a new doctor. I had to see a doctor because once again I had become fearfully ill, and I was unable to work. My stomach was distended, and my ankles were swollen nearly twice their normal size due to fluid retention. The whites of my eyes has yellowed from jaundice, I had spidery broken veins all over my body, my skin itched all over and took on an eerie greenish-gray appearance. My blood had apparently thinned, because the light touch would cause a terrible bruise and even a small scratch would bleed for a very long time. Dark marks appeared on my face and arms, my hair began to fall out, and because I had no appetite at all, I was very weak and extremely fatigued. The new physician took one look at my appearance and my blood test results, and asked if I drank. I said that I used to but had abstained for quite a while. This was a blatant lie. pp. 472-473 ************************************************** ********* Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions Step Five - "Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs." More realism and therefore more honesty about ourselves are the great gains we make under the influence of Step Five. As we took inventory, we began to suspect how much trouble self-delusion had been causing us. This had brought a disturbing reflection. If all our lives we had more or less fooled ourselves, how could we now be so sure that we weren't still self-deceived? How could we be certain that we had made a true catalog of our defects and had really admitted them, even to ourselves? Because we were still bothered by fear, self-pity, and hurt feelings, it was probable we couldn't appraise ourselves fairly at all. Too much guilt and remorse might cause us to dramatize and exaggerate our shortcomings. Or anger and hurt pride might be the smoke screen under which we were hiding some of our defects while we blamed others for them. Possibly, too, we were still handicapped by many liabilities, great and small, we never knew we had. pp. 58-59 ************************************************** ********* A truly great person is the one who gives you a chance. --Paul Duffy We tend to forget that happiness doesn't come as a result of getting something we don't have, but rather of recognizing and appreciating what we do have. --Frederick Keonig The surest way to drive out the darkness is to bring in the light. --unknown "All our dreams can come true if we have the courage to pursue them." --Walt Disney "History has demonstrated that the most notable winners usually encountered heartbreaking obstacles before they triumphed. They won because they refused to become discouraged by their defeats." --B. C. Forbes Serenity isn't freedom from the storm; it is peace within the storm. --unknown ************************************************** ********* Father Leo's Daily Meditation ENJOYMENT "All animals, except man, know that the ultimate of life is to enjoy it." -- Samuel Butler Today I choose to enjoy my life. Regardless of the problem and difficulties that this day will bring, I have an inner joy that comes with my recovery from addiction. With a clear head and body free from drugs and chemicals I can face today and look forward to tomorrow. My life is to be enjoyed not endured. My worst days today are better than my best days as an addict. Spiritually I am free because I have begun to discover me. God can now be perceived in His world because I have sobriety. Lord of all play, I dance before You in my world and I can stop to smell the roses. ************************************************** ********* Come, let us sing for joy to the LORD; let us shout aloud to the Rock of our salvation." Psalm 95:1 And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them. Romans 8:28 "God is able to do far more than we would dare to ask or even dream of - infinitely beyond our highest prayers, desires, thoughts, or hopes." Ephesians 3:20 ************************************************** ********* Daily Inspiration If you are able to accept the hand of love that God extends to you, you will be able to free yourself of fears and show the full beauty of your inner spirit. Lord, we all suffer from weaknesses of one kind or another, so in our moments of strength, we ask that we may offer help, not judgment, to those who need it. Take less for granted and you will become very busy enjoying all that you have. Lord, thank you for my blessings and for all those that I am able to share them with. ************************************************** ********* NA Just For Today Calling A Defect A Defect "When we see how our defects exist in our lives and accept them, we can let go of them and get on with our new life." Basic Text pg. 33-34 Sometimes our readiness to have our character defects removed depends on what we call them. If misnaming our defects makes them seem less "defective" we may be unable to see the damage they cause. And if they seem to be causing no harm, why would we ever ask our Higher Power to remove them from our lives? Take "people pleasing" for example. Doesn't really sound all that bad, does it? It just means we're nice to people, right? Not quite. To put it bluntly, it means we're dishonest and manipulative. We lie about our feelings, our beliefs, and our needs, trying to soothe others into compliance with our wishes. Or perhaps we think we're "easygoing." But does "easygoing" mean we ignore our housework, avoid confrontations, and stay put in a comfortable rut? Then a better name for it would be "laziness" or "procrastination" or "fear." Many of us have trouble identifying our character defects. If this is the case for us, we can talk with our sponsor or our NA friends. We clearly and honestly describe our behavior to them and ask for their help in identifying our defects. As time passes, we'll become progressively better able to identify our own character defects, calling them by their true names. Just for today: I will call my defects by their true names. If I have trouble doing this, I will ask my sponsor for help. ************************************************** ********* You are reading from the book Today's Gift. If you must love your neighbor as yourself, it is at least as fair to love yourself as your neighbor. --Nicholas De Chamfort We sometimes find it difficult to accept a compliment. We may feel we don't deserve such attention, and point out reasons why the compliment is untrue. When we act this way, we show a lack of love for ourselves. God teaches us to love our neighbors as ourselves. Yet, before we can love anyone, we must believe we are worthy of the same love. No creature is undeserving of love, God reminds us of that. We can stop hiding behind feelings of unworthiness. There's nothing stopping us but ourselves. Sometimes it takes courage to say thank you when we get a compliment. Let's exercise that courage, and each time we do, we'll find our self-love growing. When I thank people today, will I have the courage to smile, too? You are reading from the book Touchstones. There are two equally dangerous extremes - to shut reason out, and to let nothing else in. --Pascal Some of the greatest scientific thinkers deeply respect the nonrational, and they aren't afraid to say so. Perhaps it is part of their genius. The nonrational inspires fun, creativity, a connection with others, and a feeling of reverence. Trying to contain our thoughts within reasonableness squeezes the life out of them. The simple beauty of color and form in a stone; the graceful, synchronized movement of a flock of birds; the miracle of understanding and loyalty in a friendship - these are truths beyond our ownership. We can feel these truths. We can be moved and inspired by them. We can never fully know their mysteries. Our addictive natures have led us men to overemphasize reason and the control it promises. We've become reasonable while discarding the less controlled, creative, humorous, mysterious, and personal aspects of our lives. At this very moment we may be so focused on figuring out the reasonable answer to a problem that we are blocking the gut message, which is also here for us. I can appreciate rather than understand the mystery of life. You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning. I have found that sitting in a place where you have never sat before can be inspiring. --Dodie Smith Repeatedly, today and every day, we will be in new situations, new settings with old friends, and old settings and situations with new friends. Each instance is fresh, unlike all the times before. And inspiration can accompany each moment, if we but recognize how special it is. "We will not pass this way again," so the song says, which heightens the meaning of each encounter, every experience. Acknowledging that something can be gained each step along the way invites inspiration. Inspiration moves us to new heights. We will be called to step beyond our present boundaries. Maybe today. Whenever the inspiration catches our attention, we can trust its invitation; we are ready for the challenge it offers. We need not let our narrow, personal expectations of an experience, a new situation perhaps, prevent us from being open to all the dynamic possibilities it offers. I must be willing to let my whole self be moved, inspired. I must be willing to let each moment I experience be the only moment getting my attention. You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go. Valuing Our Needs When we don't ask for what we want and need, we discount ourselves. We deserve better. Maybe others taught us it wasn't polite or appropriate to speak up for ourselves. The truth is, if we don't, our unmet wants and needs may ultimately come back to haunt our relationships. We may end up feeling angry or resentful, or we may begin to punish someone else for not guessing what we need. We may end the relationship because it doesn't meet our needs. Intimacy and closeness are only possible in a relationship when both people can say what they want and need. Sustained intimacy demands this. Sometimes, we may even have to demand what we want. That's called setting a boundary. We do this not to control another person, but to gain control of our life. Our attitude toward our needs is important too. We must value them and take them seriously if we expect others to take us seriously. When we begin to place value and importance on our needs we'll see a remarkable change. Our wants and needs will begin to get met. Today, I will respect the wants and needs of others and myself. I will tell others, my Higher Power, and myself what I want and need. I will listen to what they want and need too. It feels so good to accept myself just as I am today. All my thoughts and actions and emotions are right where they belong. --Ruth Fishel *************************************** Journey To The Heart Don’t Pick Up Energy That’s Not Yours I walked into the small-town diner and sat down at the counter. I was the only customer, but the waitress ignored me. I waited while she sat in a booth, reading the paper. Finally, she lowered the paper. “Is there something you want?” she barked from across the room. By the time I left the restaurant, I felt as crabby as the waitress appeared. It took a while to figure out what happened, what had changed my mood. Then I realized I had picked up her negative energy– feelings that had nothing to do with me. It was like someone had splashed my windshield with mud. Most of us have crabby days and an adundance of our own feelings to deal with. We don’t need to let others splash their negative energy on us. We don’t need to pick it up and carry it around. If someone splashes your windshield with mud while you’re driving down the road, what do you do? You wash it off and go on your way. Learn to tell when what you’re feeling is your emotions, and your business. Learn to tell when someone has splashed on you. You don’t have to take responsibility for what’s not yours. Be done with it as quickly as possible. Thoughts are energy. Crabby thoughts and crabby emotions can be like mud. If someone splashes on you, wash off your windshield, send them a blessing, and go on down the road. *************************************** More Language Of Letting Go Enjoy the ordinary Days before, there had been a tremendous storm out in the Pacific Ocean. Now the swells from the storm were smashing against the shore in California. The tide rose and rose. The house shook with each wave as the breaking water slammed into the pilings under the house. I went to bed but couldn’t sleep. I got up and walked outside to check on the kayak. It was still there, but the water was far up under the house, threatneing to grab the boat. I went back to bed and eventually drifted off to sleep in spite of the noisy, angry sea. The next day, the sea returned to normal. That night when I went to bed, the gentle rolling of the sea lulled me to sleep. Soon, I forgot about the storm, how loud and angry the waves had been. I once again began to take the gentle soothing sound of the surf for granted. It’s easy to take many things in our life for granted: health, the presence of a loved one in our life, friends, food, even sobriety and recovery. When life proceeds smoothly, it’s easy to take the ordinary for granted. Look at the ordinary in your life. How would you feel if it was taken away? Don’t just be grateful for successes. Be grateful for and celebrate the ordinary in your world. God, help me to not take anything for granted. Teach me to recognize, appreciate, and celebrate the ordinary in this world. Help me see how beautiful and meaningful the ordinary really is. *************************************** The Joy Of Being Celebrating The In-Between Times While celebrations are intended to honor life’s more momentous occasions, much of real life tends to happen during the in-between times. While moving from one moment in time to the next is seldom considered a significant occurrence, it is during those in-between times that we are most in tune with life’s most profound, albeit simple joys. Between birth and death, triumph and sorrow, beginnings and endings, we enjoy innumerable experiences that often happen unnoticed. These times are just as worthy of celebration. The in-between times are seldom about landmark moments. How you choose to celebrate them or which moments you choose to celebrate is up to you. You may want to celebrate the simple facts that you are alive and that every day is a chance to spend time with the people you care about or do the work that you love. Then again, when you look at the good that exists in your life, many reasons for celebrating the in-between times may become clear: a cup of your favorite tea, a beautiful sunrise, a good book, and the smell of fresh air can be reasons for celebration. Celebrating the in-between times can be as easy as paying special attention to them when they do happen, rather than taking them for granted. It’s your focus of attention that can turn an in-between time into a celebration. You can also pay homage to the in-between times by slowing down and allowing yourself time to look around and allow your heart and mind to take in all of your life’s wonders. Far too often, we can let those simple moments of awe pass us by. The in-between times are when life happens to us between the pauses that we take to honor our milestones occasions. Without the in-between times, there would be no big moments to celebrate. Published with permission from Daily OM *************************************** A Day At A Time Reflection For The Day We often see people in The Program — devoutly and with seeming sincerity — ask for God’s guidance on matters ranging from major crises to such insignificant things as what to serve at a dinner party. Though they may be well-intentioned, such people tend to force their wills into all sorts of situations — with the comfortable assurance that they’re following God’s specific directions. In reality, this sort of prayer is nothing more than a self0serving demand of God for “replies;” it has little to do with The Program’s suggested Eleventh Step. Do I strive regularly to study each of the Steps, and to practice them in all my affairs? Today I Pray May I not make the common mistake of listing my own solutions for God and then asking for a stamp of Divine approval. May I catch myself if I am not really opening my mind to Gods guidance, but merely laying out my own answers with a “what do You think of these?” attitude. Today I Will Remember Am I looking for Gods rubber stamp? *************************************** One More Day There are some remedies worse than the disease. – Publilius Syrus Sometimes the very medicines prescribed to help us return to a more stable health situation can cause side effects which can be nearly intolerable. How ludicrous that a drug intended to help us shake off the exhaustion caused by a chronic health condition can cause fatigue. What a joke on us that a pill taken for arthritics, for example, can cause other potential medical problems. Despite these side effects, we should not stop following dosage instructions until we talk with our doctors, who can help minimize the side effects. In this way we will gain one more foothold in the process of learning to live with our problems. I ‘ll try to keep communication lines open with my doctor to make it as easy as possible upon myself. ************************************ Food For Thought Decisions About Food We compulsive overeaters often find it extremely difficult to make decisions about food. We wonder if we are getting enough or too much, if we are eating the right kind of food, if we will be hungry tomorrow. The process of planning our three meals a day can be agonizing if we cannot decide which foods to choose. Here is where a food sponsor can give us the assistance and support we need. Since someone who has traveled the road before us will be informed of our menus, we can relax and know that our decisions will be checked by an objective listener. As long as the choices we make fall under the food plan, which we have determined to follow, they will be good decisions. Having written down our food plan for the day and having given it to our sponsor, we do not need to make any further decisions about food today. Recognizing that our obsessive worry about food is an illness, we will turn off further deliberations and work our program Today I will make only those decisions about food that are necessary to my program. ***************************************** One Day At A Time ~ ENOUGH ~ Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies; Thou anointest my head with oil; my cup runneth over. The Bible, Book of Psalms As a practicing compulsive overeater, I was obsessed with getting my "fair share" and stockpiling everything from food to friends. I was afraid there wouldn't be "enough" in the future. One of the Promises of the program states that "Fear of people and of economic insecurity will leave us." But just how can I calm down when the thought comes that there isn't enough, or that there won't be enough in the future? At a recent meeting, the speaker said that when he began to worry about his finances, he would ask himself, "Do I have enough money between now and the time I go to bed?" Since we're only alive in the moment, that's really the appropriate time frame. To me, that sounds like the best example of "One Day At A Time" thinking I've heard so far! Additionally, this could be applied to anything else I might worry about: "Do I have enough FOOD between now and bedtime?... enough LOVE?" You-fill-in-the-blank, because it isn't always just economic insecurity that haunts us! One Day at a Time . . . I'm learning to trust my Higher Power, which always supplies my needs. Whenever I start to worry, I can ask myself if I have enough to last between now and the time I go to bed, and cultivate trust and appreciation for the gifts I receive daily. Marilyn ***************************************** AA 'Big Book' - Quote The man in the bed was told of the acute poisoning from which he suffered, how it deteriorates the body of an alcoholic and warps his mind. There was much talk about the mental state preceding the first drink. 'Yes, that's me,' said the sick man, 'the very image. You fellows know your stuff all right, but I don't see what good it'll do. You fellows are somebody. I was once, but I'm a nobody now. From what you tell me, I know more than ever I can't stop.' At this both the visitors burst into a laugh. Said the future Fellow Anonymous: '**** little to laugh about that I can see.' The two friends spoke of their spiritual experience and told him about the course of action they carried out. - Pg. 157 - A Vision For You Hour To Hour - Book - Quote In the first days and months of recovery we must practice a strict adherence to our program suggestions. We are vulnerable to our addiction calling us back. But if we follow the suggestions religiously, we will earn our 30 day, 90 day, 1 year chip. God, as I understand You, help me stay clean and sober to the next hour. Spirit Calls I am willing to allow my life to happen. Life has taught me that the best laid plans can go awry. I know that I need to have goals and missions in order to give shape, meaning and a sense of destiny to my life. However, when I let those goals run me, when I let them preoccupy me to such an extent that I stop living in the present and I miss the beauty and spontaneity of each new day, then I am becoming a slave to my own plans. I will learn to take an action and let go of the result, to have a goal then to move toward it in a relaxed manner that doesn't rob me of my pleasure and my day. I am in touch with spirit within and without - Tian Dayton PhD Pocket Sponsor - Book - Quote Some people do not have to have a program to stop drinking and using. But for us, we remember untreated abstinence will make our past our future. I don't work the program to get my life back; I work the program to get my life forward. "Walk Softly and Carry a Big Book" - Book Serenity comes when you stop expecting and start accepting. Time for Joy - Book - Quote It feels so good to accept myself just as I am today. All my thoughts and actions and emotions are right where they belong. Alkiespeak - Book - Quote Other drugs; I never stopped doing one thing to do something else, I just kinda 'added to'. - Allen F.
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December 9
Daily Reflections LOVE WITH NO PRICE TAG When the Twelfth Step is seen in its full implication, it is really talking about the kind of love that has no price tag on it. TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, p. 106 In order for me to start working the Twelfth Step, I had to work on sincerity, honesty, and to learn to act with humility. Carrying the message is a gift of myself, no matter how many years of sobriety I may have accumulated. My dreams can become reality. I solidify my sobriety by sharing what I have received freely. As I look back to that time when I began my recovery, there was already a seed of hope that I could help another drunk pull himself out of his alcoholic mire. My wish to help another drunk is the key to my spiritual health. But I never forget that God acts through me. I am only His instrument. Even if the other person is not ready, there is success, because my effort in his behalf has helped me to remain sober and to become stronger. To act, to never grow weary in my Twelfth Step work, is the key. If I am capable of laughing today, let me not forget those days when I cried. God reminds me that I can feel compassion! ************************************************** ********* Twenty-Four Hours A Day A.A. Thought For The Day The way of A.A. is the way of fellowship. We have read a good deal about fellowship and yet it is such an important part of the A.A. program that it seems that we cannot think too much about it. Human beings were not meant to live alone. A hermit's life is not a normal or natural one. We all need to be by ourselves at times, but we cannot really live without the companionship of others. Our natures demand it. Our lives depend largely upon it. The fellowship of A.A. seems to us to be the best in the world. Do I fully appreciate what the fellowship of A.A. means to me? Meditation For The Day We are all seeking something, but many do not know what they want in life. They are seeking something because they are restless and dissatisfied, without realizing that faith in God can give an objective and a purpose for their lives. Many of us are at least subconsciously seeking for a Power greater than ourselves because that would give a meaning to our existence. If you have found that Higher Power, you can be the means of leading others aright, by showing them that their search for a meaning to life will end when they find faith and trust in God as the answer. Prayer For The Day I pray that my soul will lose its restlessness by finding rest in God. I pray that I may find peace of mind in the thought of God and His purpose for my life. ************************************************** ********* As Bill Sees It Carrying the Message, p. 192 The wonderful energy the Twelfth Step releases, by which it carries our message to the next suffering alcoholic and finally translates the Twelve Steps into action upon all our affairs, is the payoff, the magnificent reality of A.A. ******************************** Never talk down to an alcoholic from any moral or spiritual hilltop; simply lay out the kit of spiritual tools for his inspection. Show him how they worked with you. Offer him friendship and fellowship. 1. 12 & 12, p. 109 2. Alcoholics Anonymous, p. 95 ************************************************** ********* Walk In Dry Places Fixing things that aren't broken Self-acceptance. At the beginning of our AA sobriety, we were reminded that we were not reformers. Yet we sometimes have a tendency to want to "reform" ourselves or others after we've established sobriety. This can become a practice of "fixing things that aren't broken". We may not realize it, but many things in our lives and personalities were always all right, all along. In believing that we should be changed, we may be taking on the opinions of someone else. There might be no need for change at all. We also may be trying to please people who disapproved of us. Perhaps we're trying to obtain the affection of a parent who always rejected us. But if we're already on a spiritual path and are living rightly, there's no need for change. We'd be trying to fix something that isn't broken. I'll accept myself and others as we are today. We are not out to reform anyone, including ourselves. ************************************************** ********* Keep It Simple There is no stronger bond of friendship than a mutual enemy.--Frankfort Moore. A.A. is a fellowship united against the same enemy--alcoholism. Our bonds give us strength to recover. We may not even know each other's last name, but we'll do anything to help each other stay sober. Our illness has taken much. But it has also given us much. We have millions of new friends. Almost anywhere in the world, we can find a member of our fellowship. Our new way of life depends on the strength of the fellowship. We should do nothing to weaken it. When you don't feel like going to a meeting--go, not only for yourself but for the sake of the fellowship. It truly needs you. Prayer for the Day: Higher Power, You have given me A. A. Now help me to keep it going. A.A. needs me, just as I need A.A. Help me give even when I don't want to. Action for the Day: Today, I'll give back to the program. I'll call a new member, volunteer to put on a meeting, or make the coffee." ************************************************** ********* Each Day a New Beginning To do nothing is failure. To try, and in the trying you make some mistakes and then you make some positive changes as a result of those mistakes, is to learn and to grow and to blossom. --Darlene Larson Jenks Life is a process, one that is continuously changing. And with each change, we are offered unexpected opportunities for growth. Change is what fosters our development as women. It encourages us to risk new behavior and may even result in some mistakes. Fortunately, no mistakes can seriously hinder us. In fact, most mistakes give us an additional opportunity to learn. Where we stand today is far removed from our position last year, or even last week. Each and every moment offers us new input that influences any decision from this moment forward. The process that we're participating in guarantees our growth as long as we remain conscious of our opportunities and willingly respond to them. We can be glad that the life process is, in fact, never static. always moving, always inviting us to participate fully. I will have the courage to make a mistake today. It's a promise of growth. ************************************************** ********* Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition Chapter 8 - TO WIVES The slightest sign of fear or intolerance may lessen your husband’s chance or recovery. In a weak moment he may take your dislike of his high-stepping friends as one of those insanely trivial excuses to drink. p. 120 ************************************************** ********* Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition Stories TWICE GIFTED - Diagnosed with cirrhosis, this sick alcoholic got sobriety--plus a lifesaving liver transplant. In reality the only person who was being fooled was me. My new doctor explained that I had a disease called cirrhosis of the liver. How far it had progressed was hard to tell, but by the symptoms I was having and the results of my tests, the disease seemed fairly advanced. The picture he painted was very bleak. As the disease worsened, I would become sicker and weaker, and finally there would be a slow and painful progression, usually ending in a fatal episode of bleeding into the stomach or lapsing into a coma and death. With that, he referred me to a special clinic, not an ordinary group of doctors but a liver transplant clinic. p. 473 ************************************************** ********* Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions Step Five - "Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs." Hence it was most evident that a solitary self-appraisal, and the admission of our defects based upon that alone, wouldn't be nearly enough. We'd have to have outside help if we were surely to know and admit the truth about ourselves--the help of God and another human being. Only by discussing ourselves, holding back nothing, only by being willing to take advice and accept direction could we set foot on the road to straight thinking, solid honesty, and genuine humility. p. 59 ************************************************** ********* "The craving to find serenity utterly evaporated--and in its place there was serenity. I'd been looking out there for what was right here." --A.A. Grapevine, December, 2000, p. 49 Most of us are just about as happy as we make up our minds to be. --Abraham Lincoln (1809-1865) No one can make you feel inferior without your consent. --Eleanor Roosevelt The minute a man ceases to grow, no matter what his years, that minute he begins to be old. --William James The way you see things and the way others see things may not be the same. Be tolerant of other people's views. --unknown ************************************************** ********* Father Leo's Daily Meditation OLD "Growing old isn't so bad when you consider the alternative." -- Maurice Chevalier What is the alternative? Not to change! To stay rooted in adolescence, youth, middle-age or whatever. Not to age is not to live, not to experience and not to grow spiritually. An aspect of age, for which I am beginning to be grateful, is "comparison"; today I am able to look at the past and see the benefits of the present. Growth is measurable only through the tunnel of age. I suppose my fear of age is my basic fear of the "unknown" ; fear of "unmanageability" and "powerlessness". These words remind me of the spiritual program that teaches me to confidently place my life in the loving arms of God. If I am responsible in life, I will be responsible in old age. Teach me to use the spiritual perspective that comes with the gift of age. ************************************************** ********* In you, O LORD, I have taken refuge; let me never be put to shame. Rescue me and deliver me in your righteousness; turn your ear to me and save me. Be my rock of refuge, to which I can always go; give the command to save me, for you are my rock and my fortress. Deliver me, O my God, from the hand of the wicked, from the grasp of evil and cruel men. For you have been my hope, O Sovereign LORD, my confidence since my youth. Psalms 71:1-5 "See how great a love the Father has bestowed upon us, that we should be called children of God; and such we are." 1 John 3:1 ************************************************** ********* Daily Inspiration Do not waste any time disliking who you are because of something you can no longer do anything about. Lord, help me to forgive myself all shortcomings of the past that I still hold on to and rather make the very best of this moment. We never really know how far reaching our influence will be. Lord, may Your loving kindness always flow through me. ************************************************** ********* NA Just For Today Listening "This ability to listen is a gift and grows as we grow spiritually. Life takes on a new meaning when we open ourselves to this gift." Basic Text pg. 102 Have you ever watched two small children carry on a conversation? One will be talking about purple dragons while the other carries on about the discomfort caused by having sand in one's shoes. We sometimes encounter the same communication problems as we learn to listen to others. We may struggle through meetings, trying desperately to hear the person sharing while our minds are busy planning what we will say when it's our turn to speak. In conversation, we may suddenly realize that our answers have nothing to do with the questions we're being asked. They are, instead, speeches prepared while in the grip of our self-obsession. Learning how to listen - really listen - is a difficult task, but one that's not beyond our reach. We might begin by acknowledging in our replies what our conversational partner is saying. We might ask if there is anything we can do to help when someone expresses a problem. With a little practice, we can find greater freedom from self-obsession and closer contact with the people in our lives. Just for today: I will quiet my own thoughts and listen to what someone else is saying. ************************************************** ********* You are reading from the book Today's Gift. Faith is the seamstress who mends our torn belief who sews the hem of childhood trust and clips the threads of grief. --Joan Walsh Anglund A seamstress takes large pieces of material and cuts them to size. Then, with the help of needle and thread and buttons, she goes to work to create a finished piece. Sometimes, in the beginning, it is hard to imagine a finished product. But the seamstress believes it is possible and goes to work on it. Faith is like a seamstress. Faith is what can pull all the unfinished pieces of life into some sort of order. Faith is what lets us know we are all right even when life doesn't seem to make sense. We all need the faith to believe our skills and dreams, and even our heartaches can be sewn into a shape that is beautiful and useful. Our faith is the seamstress who guides the needle, mends the tears, and helps create a shape and meaning to our lives. How can I show my faith today? You are reading from the book Touchstones. That it will never come again is what makes life so sweet. --Emily Dickinson Life seems to be a continuous pattern of getting committed to things and having to let go - falling in love and losing the one we love, developing a job skill and having to change careers, caring for our children and letting them go off into the world. This is the rhythm of life, and our spiritual growth teaches us to make peace with it. Participating fully in the rhythm is how we become whole men. As addicts and codependents, we used our gambling, overspending, drugs, sex, work, or caretaking of others to avoid the pain of making deeper relationships and to avoid the grief over losing them. Avoiding commitments and staying uninvolved may keep us safe from risks. They also keep us near our dangerous old patterns. Our program works when we can freely let ourselves go. First, we commit to our recovery program with no reservations. Then, in our increasing sanity we gradually let ourselves go in other attachments. We know we face losses as part of life. We will have the strength to grieve them and move on. God, give me the inner-liberty today to let go of myself and care. You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning. To do nothing is failure. To try, and in the trying you make some mistakes and then you make some positive changes as a result of those mistakes, is to learn and to grow and to blossom. --Darlene Larson Jenks Life is a process, one that is continuously changing. And with each change, we are offered unexpected opportunities for growth. Change is what fosters our development as women. It encourages us to risk new behavior and may even result in some mistakes. Fortunately, no mistakes can seriously hinder us. In fact, most mistakes give us an additional opportunity to learn. Where we stand today is far removed from our position last year, or even last week. Each and every moment offers us new input that influences any decision from this moment forward. The process that we're participating in guarantees our growth as long as we remain conscious of our opportunities and willingly respond to them. We can be glad that the life process is, in fact, never static. always moving, always inviting us to participate fully. I will have the courage to make a mistake today. It's a promise of growth. You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go. Asking for Help It's okay to ask for help. One of the most absurd things we do to ourselves is not asking for the help we need from a friend, a family member, our Higher Power, or the appropriate resource. We don't have to struggle through feelings and problems alone. We can ask for help from our Higher Power and for support and encouragement from our friends. Whether what we need is information, encouragement, a hand, a word, a hug, someone who will listen, or a ride, we can ask. We can ask people for what we need from them. We can ask God for what we need from God. It is self-defeating to not ask for the help we need. It keeps us stuck. If we ask long and hard enough, if we direct our request to the right source, we'll get the help we need. There is a difference between asking someone to rescue us and asking someone in a direct manner for the help we need from him or her. We can be straightforward and let others choose whether to help us or not. If the answer is no, we can deal with that. It is self-defeating to hint, whine, manipulate, or coerce help out of people. It is annoying to go to people as a victim and expect them to rescue us. It is healthy to ask for help when help is what we need. "My problem is shame," said one woman. "I wanted to ask for help in dealing with it, but I was to ashamed. Isn't that crazy?" We who are eager to help others can learn to allow ourselves to receive help. We can learn to make clean contracts about asking for and receiving the help we want and need. Today, I will ask for help if I need it - from people and my Higher Power. I will not be a victim, helplessly waiting to be rescued. I will make my request for help specific, to the point, and I will leave room for the person to choose whether or not to help me. I will not be a martyr any longer by refusing to get the help I deserve in life - the help that makes life simpler. God, help me let go of my need to do everything alone. Help me use the vast Universe of resources available to me. I have the right to have my needs met. In order to have them met, I am expressing them to the people who can help me today. --Ruth Fishel *************************************** Journey To The Heart Claim Your Own Life Claiming our own lives creates fulfillment and joy. We don’t need to be controlled. We don’t deserve to be repressed or stifled. We don’t have to let anyone convince us that we do. We can trust ourselves. We know what we need, we know what we yearn for– we long to be set free. What once seemed so overwhelming– creating and taking responsibility for our lives– wasn’t really so. It was our belief that we couldn’t do it, couldn’t handle it, couldn’t be trusted that made it so. We created our own prison by believing we were trapped, stuck. We became controlled by believing others knew better than we did what was best for us. We were afraid to take responsibility for our choices, so we gave up our power. Now it’s time to step out, leave our prison of fear. We can take responsibility for our lives. We can take responsibility for what we create. We don’t have to be afraid of making a mistake or doing something wrong. If we create a situation we don’t like, we can create something different. We’re free to create the life we want. We’re free now to claim our own lives and create fulfillment and joy. We always have been. *************************************** More Language Of Letting Go Discover a sense of wonder and awe After lunch at Paradise Cove, one of our favorite places to eat, my friend and I went for a walk along the beach. Suddenly he bent down and picked up a little purple ball with spines all over it. “Look,” he said, “a sea urchin!” It was just an empty shell, but the purple was glowing, almost the color of amethyst. Neither of us had ever seen an urchin lying on the beach before. We touched it and debated whether we should take it home and put it on a shelf. “Why don’t we leave it here,” he said. “Some kids will find it, and they can take it home. We’ve got enough stuff lying around.” As soon as he put the treasure back on the sand, two children and their mother rounded the point in front of us. The oldest child, a girl about twelve, was curious and delighted when we called her over and handed her the little purple ball. Soon her brother and her mom crowded around. The boy couldn’t wait to touch the urchin’s tiny spines. My friend and I were both smiling as we walked back to the car. Two of the sweetest experiences in life are discovering new things and sharing those things with someone else. Be aware of the new and exciting things that come into your life. They don’t have to be that big to give you a sense of delight. Enjoy them, learn from them, play with them. And then, for an even greater experience, share them with a friend. God, help me discover a sense of wonder and awe about life. Then help me pass that feeling on to someone else. *************************************** Let It Flow Tears How wonderful it feels to give in and let tears flow when we are overwhelmed with emotions, whether we are happy or sad. Tears come from the soul, from our well of feelings rising from deep down. When we give in to the prickling behind our eyes and the lump in our throat to let teardrops fall from our eyes, we allow our feelings to surface so they can be set free. Proud parents shed tears of pride in a child’s accomplishments, a baby’s first step, birthdays, and graduations. Long lost friends fall into each other’s arms, tears rolling down their cheeks when they reunite after years of separation. Tears may flow from us when we are witness to a commitment being made at a wedding or even while we are watching a love story. Tears of relief may spring forth from our eyes when we hear that a loved one has survived an ordeal, and tears may fall when we bow our head in sorrow over a loss or death. Tears born from heartache can flow like they’ll never cease, whether our tears are for a love that is over, a friendship lost, or an opportunity missed. We shed tears because of disappointment in ourselves, tragedy in the world, pain, and illness. Tears of anger can burn with emotion as they fall down our faces. Tears offer us a physical release of our feelings. Shedding tears can sometimes make us feel better, although it can feel like the tears will never end once the floodgates are open. There is no shame in letting tears flow freely and frequently. Tears are as natural to us as is breathing. There is beauty in allowing yourself to be vulnerable enough to shed tears. Open up, release your tears, and let your feelings flow. Published with permission from Daily OM *************************************** A Day At A Time Reflection For The Day “Difficulties are God’s errands, and when we are sent upon them, we should esteem it a proof of God’s confidence.” –Beecher I’ve come to realize that my past troubles were really of my own making. Although I hardly thought so at the time, I was a primary example of what The Program calls “self-will run riot.” Today, I’ll accept my difficulties as sign posts to growth, and as evidence of God’s confidence in me. Do I believe that God will never give me more than I can handle? Today I Pray May I believe strongly that God has confidence in me to handle my troubles, that the difficulties I must face are in direct proportion to my strength and ability to bear up and keep a cool head in a crisis. May I also understand that it is my faith in God which keeps me from crumbling. Today I Will Remember God has faith in me, because I have faith in God. *************************************** One More Day To see the goal of life as “winning” forces us to see other people as competitores, threats to our happiness. For us to “win,” they have to “lose.” – Harold Kushner Our thinking is healthier when we see our goals as individual accomplishments, not as outdoing someone else. Others don’t have to get less or be less in order for us to feel good about ourselves. Rather than, “I beat someone out of a job,” we need to understand that it’s not a contest, but a matter of placing the most qualifeied person in a new position. We all have different skills, and it is usually the skill, not the person, that is recognized or rewarded. The person who possesses the needed skill is not necessarily better, nicer, or more worthwhile — even when that person is us. In accepting that, we are better able to work toward our persoanal goals without fear of competion. The only winning I pursue is meeting my goals. ************************************ Food For Thought Developing Our Potential Abstinence is the key to developing our potential. For years, our illness has probably controlled our life and reduced our ability to function. Since so much of our energy was tied up in the mental obsession with food and the physical effects of overeating, we were unable to develop the talents and abilities we possessed. Getting in touch with a Higher Power gives us contact with the source of our potential. Our self-centeredness kept us from believing in our capacity to be activated by a Power greater than ourselves. When we see and hear of the results produced by working the OA program, we develop faith in our own buried talents. When food controlled our lives, we were using only a very small percentage of our actual potential for work, recreation, and relationships with other people. Through abstinence from compulsive overeating, we discover strengths, abilities, and energies we never knew we had! Direct my efforts. Lord. ***************************************** One Day At A Time ~ LIFE ~ Life is the movie you see through your own unique eyes. It makes little difference what's happening out there. It's how you take it that counts. Dennis Waitley in "The Winner's Edge" Life is a very precious resource. Everyone has a different interpretation of reality, and people who are happier in life make the most of what they have been given, no matter how good or bad it may seem at the time. Everything happens for a reason. Although we may not understand something at first, we must seize the moment and make use of every single second that our Higher Power has blessed us with. Enjoy all the good times that you deserve, but remember to accept those down times for all the lessons that you will learn, too. It is important to remember the Serenity Prayer and keep on going. Make the most of each day but remember to stop and smell the flowers along the way. Today only happens once. One Day at a Time . . . Life is not a dress rehearsal, so have a good day, unless you have other plans. Natalie ***************************************** AA 'Big Book' - Quote To sum up about sex: We earnestly pray for the right ideal, for guidence in each questionable situation, for sanity, and for the strength to do the right thing. If sex is very troublesome, we throw ourselves the harder into helping others. We think of their needs and work for them. This takes us out of ourselves. It quiets the imperious urge, when to yield would mean heartache. - Pg. 70 - How It Works Hour To Hour - Book - Quote We need to have our spiritual program replenished daily, by going to meetings and practicing the principles we are learning. Sometimes we need to replenish hourly. We replenish through prayer and service. Thank you God, as I understand You, for the wealth of spiritual principles available for me to use. Transformation Count me in. Whatever are my talents, my usefulness; wherever you see me fitting into your grand scheme, God . . . place me there. I am willing to open my heart to your guidance. I am built to be part of this moment of transformation. I see a better world in my mind's eye and I know that others see it too. Connect me with those people who wish to quietly usher in a new world. Together we can push through the eye of the needle - together we can help it happen. We are transforming together - Tian Dayton PhD Pocket Sponsor - Book - Quote Do not be hung up on what you ought to be, what you were supposed to be or what you were going to be. You will never have time to be what you are. I am the best me there is. "Walk Softly and Carry a Big Book" - Book When we go too far, it is seldom in the right direction. Time for Joy - Book - Quote I have the right to have my needs met. In order to have them met, I am expressing them to the people who can help me today. Alkiespeak - Book - Quote Prayer is talking to God. Meditation is listening to Him. - Unknown origin.
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![]() "No matter what you have done up to this moment, you get 24 brand-new hours to spend every single day." --Brian Tracy
AA gives us an opportunity to recreate ourselves, with God's help, one day at a time. --Rufus K. When you get to the end of your rope, tie a knot and hang on. --Franklin D. Roosevelt We stay sober and clean together - one day at a time! God says that each of us is worth loving. |
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December 10
Daily Reflections CARRYING THE MESSAGE Now, what about the rest of the Twelfth Step? The wonderful energy it releases and the eager action by which it carries our message to the next suffering alcoholic and which finally translates the Twelve Steps into action upon all our affairs is the payoff, the magnificent reality, of Alcoholics Anonymous. TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, p. 109 To renounce the alcoholic world is not to abandon it, but to act upon principles I have come to love and cherish, and to restore in others who still suffer the serenity I have come to know. When I am truly committed to this purpose, it matters little what clothes I wear or how I make a living. My task is to carry the message, and to lead by example, not design. ************************************************** ********* Twenty-Four Hours A Day A.A. Thought For The Day Our drinking fellowship was a substitute one, for lack of something better. At the time, we did not realize what real fellowship could be. Drinking fellowship has a fatal fault. It is not based on a firm foundation. Most of it is on the surface. It is based mostly on the desire to use your companions for your own pleasure and using others is a false foundation. Drinking fellowship has been praised in song and story. The "cup that cheers" has become famous as a means of companionship. But we realize that the higher centers of our brains are dulled by alcohol and such fellowship cannot be on the highest plane. It is at best only a substitute. Do I see my drinking fellowship in its proper light? Meditation For The Day Set for yourself the task of growing daily more and more into the consciousness of a Higher Power. We must keep trying to improve our conscious contact with God. This is done by prayer, quiet times, and communion. Often all you need to do is sit silent before God and let Him speak to you through your thought. Try to think God's thoughts after Him. When the guidance comes, you must not hesitate, but go out and follow that guidance in your daily work, doing what you believe to be the right thing. Prayer For The Day I pray that I may be still and know God is with me. I pray that I may open my mind to the leading of Divine Mind. ************************************************** ********* As Bill Sees It True Tolerance, p. 203 Gradually we began to be able to accept the other fellow's sins as well as his virtues. We coined the potent and meaningful expression "Let us always love the best in others--and never fear their worst." ******************************** Finally, we begin to see that all people, including ourselves, are to some extent emotionally ill as well as frequently wrong. When this happens, we approach true tolerance and we see what real love for our fellows actually means. 1. Grapevine, January 1962 2. 12 & 12, p. 92 12 & 12, p. 65 ************************************************** ********* Walk In Dry Places HOW IMPORTANT IS IT? Good judgment. All of our lives, many of us had to deal with "tempests in a teapot." These were minor problems that we somehow magnified until they became disasters. Some of us also took refuge in the bottle when faced with problems. Remembering this with some guilt, we may feel a responsibility today to deal with every problem efficiently and promptly. This feeling might also create unnecessary anxiety. We can easily get to the heart of such matters by asking ourselves, "How Important is it?" We might be making something far more important than it really is. The importance of problems is revealed by our inability to remember what was upsetting us a week ago. Asking, "How important is it?" can be a useful test to avoid excessive worrying about any problem. I'll take a responsibility attitude today, but I'll watch myself for a tendency to go to pieces over things that really aren't important in the long run. ************************************************** ********* Keep It Simple Kindness in giving creates love. --Lao-tzu. In our illness, we takers. Now, we've changed this around. We are now givers. Giving is a big part of recovery. Our word for it is service. Our program is based on care, respect, and service. Our program tells us to “practice these principles in all our affairs." No matter if it's getting to our meeting early to put on the coffee, or going on a Twelfth Step call, we are giving of ourselves. We give so that we know we can make a difference. We give so that we can know how to love better. The healing power of recovery is love. As we give love and kindness to others, we heal. Why? Because people grow by giving kindness and love to others. Prayer for the Day: Higher Power with Your help I'll be a kind and loving giver. I'll look for way to share Your kindness. Action for the Day: Today, I'll list five ways I can be of service to others. I'll put at least one of these ways into action today. ************************************************** ********* Each Day a New Beginning The forgiving state of mind is a magnetic power for attracting good. No good thing can be withheld from the forgiving state of mind. --Catherine Ponder Forgiveness fosters humility, which invites gratitude. And gratitude blesses us; it makes manifest greater happiness. The more grateful we feel for all aspects of our lives, the greater will be our rewards. We don't recognize the goodness of our lives until we practice gratitude. And gratitude comes easiest when we're in a forgiving state of mind. Forgiveness should be an ongoing process. Attention to it daily will ease our relationships with others and encourage greater self-love. First on our list for forgiveness should be ourselves. Daily, we heap recriminations upon ourselves. And our lack of self-love hinders our ability to love others, which in turn affects our treatment of them. We've come full circle--and forgiveness is in order. It can free us. It will change our perceptions of life's events, and it promises greater happiness. The forgiving heart is magical. My whole life will undergo a dynamic change when I develop a forgiving heart. ************************************************** ********* Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition Chapter 8 - TO WIVES We never, never try to arrange a man’s life so as to shield him from temptation. The slightest disposition on your part to guide his appointment or his affairs so he will not be tempted will be noticed. Make him feel absolutely free to come and go as he likes. This is important. If he gets drunk, don’t blame yourself. God has either removed your husband’s liquor problem or He has not. If not, it had better be found out right away. Then you and your husband can get right down to fundamentals. If a repetition is to be prevented, place the problem, along with everything else, in God’s hands. p. 120 ************************************************** ********* Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition Stories TWICE GIFTED - Diagnosed with cirrhosis, this sick alcoholic got sobriety--plus a lifesaving liver transplant. The initial interview with this group of doctors made it clear that if I wanted to live, I was going to have to prove that alcohol was no longer going to be part of my life. I was thirty-seven years old at the time, a relatively young woman for what was happening to my body. I was suddenly very afraid of dying, and I was desperate. p. 473 ************************************************** ********* Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions Step Five - "Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs." Yet many of us still hung back. We said, "Why can't 'God as we understand Him' tell us where we are astray? If the Creator gave us our lives in the first place, then He must know in every detail where we have since gone wrong. Why don't we make our admissions to Him directly? Why do we need to bring anyone else into this?" p. 59 ************************************************** ********* "If you see someone without a smile, give them one of yours". --SHASEC God, help me remember that when I admit and accept the truth, I'll be given the power and guidance to change. --Melody Beattie Keep your sobriety first, to make it last. --unknown Today, I will focus on what's right about me. I will give myself some of the caring I've extended to the world. --Melody Beattie Learn to Let Go. That is the key to happiness. --Buddha Worry is like a rocking chair -- it gives you something to do but it doesn't get you anywhere. --unknown ************************************************** ********* Father Leo's Daily Meditation SERVICE "There is no higher religion than human service. To work for the common good is the greatest creed." -- Albert Schweitzer I enjoy doing things for other people. I enjoy seeing other people happy, seeing gratitude in their eyes and experiencing their hug of thankfulness. Some people need to restrict how much they do for others and begin doing more for themselves but I am happy and pleased with my service towards others. Why? Because I used to be a "taker". For years I would walk away with all that you could give me and only thank you because I wanted to return for more! In sobriety I am beginning to change this. Now I am giving and I am enjoying it. Lord, the gift of service is a precious gift. ************************************************** ********* "Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they shall be satisfied." Matthew 5:6 I honor and love your commands. I meditate on your principles. Remember your promise to me, for it is my only hope. Your promise revives me; it comforts me in all my troubles." Psalm 119:48-50 Sing to him, sing praise to him; tell of all his wonderful acts. Glory in his holy name; let the hearts of those who seek the LORD rejoice. Look to the LORD and his strength; seek his face always. 1 Chronicles 16:9-11 ************************************************** ********* Daily Inspiration A blessing is an explosion of joy from God that ripples through your heart and fills your mind with God's light and hope. Lord, help me speak the words of blessing when they are needed by someone who is lonely, or who is dying or who is depressed. As you draw closer and closer to God, you won't have to tell anyone because it will show in your face. Lord, teach me Your ways as I am ready and let Your love and peace flow through me even in my difficult moments. ************************************************** ********* NA Just For Today Winners "I started to imitate some of the things the winners were doing. I got caught up in NA. I felt good...." Basic Text pg. 223 We often hear it said in meetings that we should "stick with the winners." Who are the winners in Narcotics Anonymous? Winners are easily identified. They work an active program of recovery, living in the solution and staying out of the problem. Winners are always ready to reach their hands out to the newcomer. They have sponsors and work with those sponsors. Winners stay clean, just for today. Winners are recovering addicts who keep a positive frame of mind. They may be going through troubled times, but they still attend meetings and share openly about it. Winners know in their hearts that, with the help of a Higher Power, nothing will come along that is too much to handle. Winners strive for unity in their service efforts. Winners practice putting "principles before personalities." Winners remember the principle of anonymity, doing the principled action no matter who is involved. Winners keep a sense of humor. Winners have the ability to laugh at themselves. And when winners laugh, they laugh with you, not at you. Who are the winners in Narcotics Anonymous? Any one of us can be considered a winner. All of us exhibit some of the traits of the winner; sometimes we come very close to the ideal, sometimes we don't. If we are clean today and working our program to the best of our ability, we are winners! Just for today: I will strive to fulfill my ideals. I will be a winner. ************************************************** ********* You are reading from the book Today's Gift. She must learn to speak starting with I starting with We starting as the infant does with her own true hunger and pleasure and rage. --Marge Piercy Once there was a writer who was writing a book for children. He decided to ask his son for ideas. "What would you like to tell other children?" he asked. He thought the boy would say something like, "Everybody love everybody." But instead the boy said, "Number one, ignore what your parents say about nutritious food. Number two, don't go to school." The father laughed and thanked the boy for his ideas, even though they weren't what he expected. He loved his son for being able to feel and express his desires so strongly. We all have a child within us, no matter how old we are. When we honor that child, we also honor who we have become, and we free ourselves to express our truest feelings. What does the child within me want to do today? You are reading from the book Touchstones. If you can just observe what you are and move with it, then you will find that it is possible to go infinitely far. --J. Krishnamurti "Boys don't cry" is bad training for males. Worse than that were ideas like, "Don't pass up a dare," "Nice guys finish last," "Be a good provider," "Be aggressive." Some of these ideas have some value, but problems came from adopting them as the only way to be. We thought we had to work at being the strongest, the best, the least vulnerable. Now we are learning how weak and fragile such thinking actually makes men. It sets us up to go to the extremes we found in our addictions and codependency. Weakness isn't the alternative to this thinking. Developing our spiritual side, we see that we don't have to work at being what we already are. A man can be strong enough to show his vulnerability. He can choose the opportunity to advance a relationship with his child over the opportunity to advance his career. He can choose to pass by a challenge without shame because he doesn't wish to spend his energy there. I will be stronger today by simply allowing myself to be true to my feelings. You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning. The forgiving state of mind is a magnetic power for attracting good. No good thing can be withheld from the forgiving state of mind. --Catherine Ponder Forgiveness fosters humility, which invites gratitude. And gratitude blesses us; it makes manifest greater happiness. The more grateful we feel for all aspects of our lives, the greater will be our rewards. We don't recognize the goodness of our lives until we practice gratitude. And gratitude comes easiest when we're in a forgiving state of mind. Forgiveness should be an ongoing process. Attention to it daily will ease our relationships with others and encourage greater self-love. First on our list for forgiveness should be ourselves. Daily, we heap recriminations upon ourselves. And our lack of self-love hinders our ability to love others, which in turn affects our treatment of them. We've come full circle--and forgiveness is in order. It can free us. It will change our perceptions of life's events, and it promises greater happiness. The forgiving heart is magical. My whole life will undergo a dynamic change when I develop a forgiving heart. You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go. Empowerment You can think. You can make good decisions. You can make choices that are right for you. Yes, we all make mistakes from time to time. But we are not mistakes. We can make a new decision that takes new information into account. We can change our mind from time to time. That's our right too. We don't have to be intellectuals to make good choices. In recovery, we have a gift and a goal available to each of us. The gift is called wisdom. Other people can think too. And that means we no longer have to feel responsible for other people's decisions. That also means we are responsible for our choices. We can reach out to others for feedback. We can ask for information. We can take opinions into account. But it is our task to make our own decisions. It is our pleasure and right to have our own opinions. We are each free to embrace and enjoy the treasure of our own mind, intellect, and wisdom. Today, I will treasure the gift of my mind. I will do my own thinking, make my own choices, and value my opinions. I will be open to what others think, but I will take responsibility for myself. I will ask for and trust that the Divine Wisdom is guiding me. Today I trust the positive and loving people to whom I am attracted. Today I am free to share from my heart, knowing that what I say will be treated with love and respect. --Ruth Fishel *************************************** Journey To The Heart Heal from Past Betrayals Healing from betrayal is connected to healing and opening the heart. Many of us have become quite skillful at denying feelings of betrayal, ignoring those situations when we not only feel betrayed, we truly have been betrayed. Life happens. Sometimes people do things that hurt us. People may have let us down, not protected us. People may have deceived us. We live in a world with people who have a lot of issues. We live in a world that moves fast and isn’t always kind, just, or fair. We may be moving so fast that we gloss over situations where we have been betrayed. Things just weren’t right. The numbers don’t add up. If we haven’t dealt with past betrayals, if we haven’t cleansed and healed those break lines on the heart, we won’t be able to deal with the betrayals going on right now. The part of our hearts that’s sensitive to betrayal has been numbed, sometimes damaged, because it hasn’t been allowed to heal. We may stay in situations much longer than is good for us to do. We may not speak up when we need to. We may quietly stand there saying, That’s just how people are. And so our hearts break a little more and we go a little more numb. And that beautiful, precious part of ourselves, our heart, closes– not just to the person betraying us, but to all the beauty in life. Yes, sometimes, that’s just the way life is. But we don’t need to stand there and keep letting life do that. We can open our hearts by healing those break lines. We can keep it open by being vulnerable and safe enough to feel, express, and take whatever actions our heart leads us to when betrayal occurs. The head is connected to the heart. This connection is important. Healing betrayal will help keep that connection clear. *************************************** More Language Of Letting Go Become amazed at what you see We were on a trip through the Southwest when we turned around a bend in New Mexico. Lake Albiquiu, the sign said. The campground was seated on a bluff overlooking a large man-made lake. We decided it was so beautiful we’d camp there for the night. We selected just the right spot to give us the best view of the sun rising in the morning. We wanted to see the light hit the red rock cliffs in the distance. Hiking around the edge of the bluff, we found a tiny cactus bursting with bright red flowers sitting in the shade of a windblown tree. We sat for a while then scrambled down to the water and sat on a big rock that jutted out into the lake. We swam. The water was cold, but refreshing, and the early summer sun felt good on our skin. Later we cooked supper on the little gas stove. “Should we set up the tent?” I asked, eager to see the new tent set up in the wilderness. “The weather is nice,” my friend said. “Let’s just throw our bags on the ground and sleep out.” That was an idea! I had never slept under the stars before. We lay there in the gathering darkness and watched as one by one the stars softly glowed into view. I closed my eyes and dozed. Moments later, a bird sang a goodnight song from a nearby tree, and I opened my eyes to see a blanket of stars overhead. The Milky Way cut a path through the night sky, and there were so many unfamiliar stars that I could hardly distinguish the constellations I knew. I didn’t want to close my eyes, I didn’t want to miss a moment of this incredible sight. Camping in a state park may not count to some of the hard-core wilderness folks. But we each have different levels of freedom in our lives. Freedom means tasting new things, having new experiences, and pursuing our dreams no matter how small they might be. Recapture the magic of a time in your life when everything was new and amazing. Discover what’s possible for you. Then be amazed at what you see. God, give me a sense of the possible in my life. Then help me be amazed at just how beautiful life can be. *************************************** Reflections of Self We Are All Mirrors for Each Other When we look at other people, we see many of their qualities in innumerable and seemingly random combinations. However, the qualities that we see in the people around us are directly related to the traits that exist in us. "Like attracts like" is one of the spiritual laws of the universe. We attract individuals into our lives that mirror who we are. Those you feel drawn to reflect your inner self back at you, and you act as a mirror for them. Simply put, when you look at others, you will likely see what exists in you. When you see beauty, divinity, sweetness, or light in the soul of another, you are seeing the goodness that resides in your soul. When you see traits in others that evoke feelings of anger, annoyance, or hatred, you may be seeing reflected back at you those parts of yourself that you have disowned or do not like. Because we are all mirrors for each other, looking at the people in your life can tell you a lot about yourself. Who you are can be laid bare to you through what you see in others. It is easy to see the traits you do not like in others. It is much more difficult to realize that you possess those same traits. Often, the habits, attitudes, and behaviors of others are closely linked to our unconscious and unresolved issues. When you come into contact with someone you admire, search your soul for similarly admirable traits. Likewise, when you meet someone exhibiting traits that you dislike, accept that you are looking at your reflection. Looking at yourself through your perception of others can be a humbling and eye-opening experience. You can also cultivate in you the traits and behaviors that you do like. Be loving and respectful to all people, and you will attract individuals that will love and respect you back. Nurture compassion and empathy and let the goodness you see in others be your mirror. Daily OM *************************************** A Day At A Time Reflection For The Day Have i ever stopped to think that the impulse to “blow off steam” and say something unkind or even vicious will, if followed through, hurt me far more seriously than the person to whom the insult is directed? I must try constantly to quiet my mind before I act with impatience or hostility, for my mind can be — in that very real way — an enemy as great as any I’ve ever known. Will I look before I leap, think before I speak — and try to avoid self-will to the greatest extent possible? Today I Pray May I remember that my blow-ups and explosions, when they are torrents of accusations or insults, hurt me just as much as the other person. May I try not to let my anger get to the blow-up stage, simply be recognizing it as I go along and stating it as a fact. Today I Will Remember Keep a loose lid on the teapot. *************************************** One More Day In these times one must write with one’s life. This is the challenge to all of us. – Antoine de St. Exupery When we were younger, many of us had a prescribed course of life — first school, a job, marriage, and then children. we never realized, and luckily so, that we would be dealt cards in a game we wouldn’t want to play. With the illness, sorrows, and pain have come jooy, delight, and happiness. We would not have wanted to see into the furture, but now that we are here, we all want to live life as well as we are able. The need to deal as best we can with our burdens advances us toward positive actions and thoughts. What good or bad things happen to us do not determine a life’s story as much as the choices we make. We can shoose to be challenged. We can choose our directions. Changes or improvements can begin today with the decision I make. ************************************ Food For Thought One Day at a Time We can only work this program one day at a time. Tomorrow's abstinence will take care of itself if we are abstinent today. It is when we look too far ahead that we become troubled and lose our confidence. Whatever happens, we can cope with it one day at a time. Worrying about the possibility of being hungry next week destroys today's serenity. Projecting ourselves into future tasks produces unnecessary tension. Wondering how someone may react to something we may say tomorrow causes needless anxiety and robs us of the here and now. Our Higher Power is with us now, today. By learning to know Him in the present, we grow in faith that He will be with us in the future. He gives us the strength to maintain our abstinence today, and that is the best thing we can possibly do for ourselves. One day at a time, we walk out of darkness into light. Thank You for this day. ***************************************** One Day At A Time FAULT FINDING “When You Look For The Bad In Mankind Expecting To Find It, You Surely Will.” ~ Abraham Lincoln The Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous says, "To conclude that others were wrong was as far as most of us ever got." It seemed as though I spent half a lifetime discovering the faults in others. I used this information as a tool or weapon against them when the need would arise, or if I needed a victory to feel superior when I was feeling low. How very sick. It took me a long time to learn that all of us have weaknesses; it's part of being an imperfect human being. We also have strengths and talents, sometimes waiting to be discovered. My job now is to search for the good in others, to overlook the pettiness, to understand that they are still growing and becoming. I am also to practice ongoing forgiveness, for them as well as for myself, to remember that God is still spiritually creating us all in His image. One Day at a Time . . . Have I quit fault finding others? Myself? God? Jeremiah ***************************************** AA 'Big Book' - Quote God alone can judge our sex situation. Counsel with other persons is often desirable, but we let God be the final judge. We realize that some people are as fanatical about sex as others are loose. We avoid hysterical thinking or advice. - Pgs. 69-70 - How It Works Hour To Hour - Book - Quote Don't ever think you have it made, because you haven't. You are only one drink away from a drunk, one hit away from a high. Staying in your program and close to the fellowship is your best bet right now. Let me not get so carried away with my two weeks of sobriety that I get cocky and lose sight of the truth. My Work I am whole and in tact and as such I have a positive contribution to make to this world. My work needs me. Whatever my gifts are, I will share them. I will not hold back, telling myself I am not ready, not smart enough, not good enough. Today is the day. This is as good a place to begin as any. I will dig deep into myself and find beauty and wisdom. I will produce good works and I will share those openly with others. As I expand my own consciousness, it becomes my responsibility to share what I learn with the collective. I am available to find my mission. I will give myself the gift of feeling purposeful, today. I will share my gifts - Tian Dayton PhD You must live in the present, launch yourself on every wave, find your eternity in each moment. Fools stand on their island of opportunities and look toward another land. There is no other land, there is no other life but this. Henry David Thoreau Pocket Sponsor - Book - Quote The smallest deed is better than the grandest intention. The smallest kindness is better than the best pitch. It's nice to be important but it's more important to be nice. "Walk Softly and Carry a Big Book" - Book Self-respect is the most important respect you can earn. Time for Joy - Book - Quote Today I trust the positive and loving people to whom I am attracted. Today I am free to share from my heart, knowing that what I say will be treated with love and respect. Alkiespeak - Book - Quote The most effective prayer I ever said had only five words, the longest word being a swear word. God didn't seem to mind. Trip S.
__________________
![]() "No matter what you have done up to this moment, you get 24 brand-new hours to spend every single day." --Brian Tracy
AA gives us an opportunity to recreate ourselves, with God's help, one day at a time. --Rufus K. When you get to the end of your rope, tie a knot and hang on. --Franklin D. Roosevelt We stay sober and clean together - one day at a time! God says that each of us is worth loving. |
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December 11
Daily Reflections A GENUINE HUMILITY . . . . we are actually to practice a genuine humility. This is to the end that our great blessings may never spoil us; that we shall forever live in thankful contemplation of Him who presides over us all. TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, p. 192 Experience has taught me that my alcoholic personality tends to be grandiose. While having seemingly good intentions, I can go off on tangents in pursuit of my "causes." My ego takes over and I lose sight of my primary purpose. I may even take credit for God's handiwork in my life. Such an overstated feeling of my own importance is dangerous to my sobriety and could cause great harm to A.A. as a whole. My safeguard, the Twelfth Tradition, serves to keep me humble. I realize, both as an individual and as a member of the Fellowship, that I cannot boast of my accomplishments, and that "God is doing for us what we could not do for ourselves." ************************************************** ********* Twenty-Four Hours A Day A.A. Thought For The Day Doctors think of the A.A. fellowship as group therapy. This is a very narrow conception of the depth of the A.A. fellowship. Looking at it purely as a means of acquiring and holding sobriety, it is right as far as it goes. But it doesn't go far enough. Group therapy is directed toward the help that the individual receives from it. It is essentially selfish. It is using the companionship of other alcoholics only in order to stay sober ourselves. But this is only the beginning of real A.A. fellowship. Do I deeply feel the true A.A. fellowship? Meditation For The Day Most of us have had to live through the dark part of our lives, the time of failure, the nighttime of our lives, when we were full of struggle and care, worry and remorse, when we felt deeply the tragedy of life. But with our daily surrender to a Higher Power, comes a peace and joy that makes all things new. We can now take each day as a joyous sunrise-gift from God to use for Him and for other fellow people. The night of the past is gone, this day is ours. Prayer For The Day I pray that I may take this day as a gift from God. I pray that I may thank God for this day and be glad in it. ************************************************** ********* As Bill Sees It We Need Outside Help, p.248 It was evident that a solitary self-appraisal, and the admission of our defects based upon that alone, wouldn't be nearly enough. We'd have to have outside help if we were surely to know and admit the truth about ourselves--the help of God and of another human being. Only by discussing ourselves, holding back nothing, only by being willing to take advice and accept direction could we set foot on the road to straight thinking, solid honesty, and genuine humility. ******************************** If we are fooling ourselves, a competent adviser can see this quickly. And, as he skillfully guides us away from our fantasies, we are surprised to find that we have few of the usual urges to defend ourselves against unpleasant truths. In no other way can fear, pride, and ignorance be so readily melted. After a time, we realize that we are standing firm on a brand-new foundation for integrity, and we gratefully credit our sponsors, whose advice pointed the way. 1. 12 & 12, p.59 2. Grapevine, August 1961 ************************************************** ********* Walk In Dry Places Keep the Focus on Personal Responsibility Responsible attitudes. Alcoholics often try to shift responsibility to others. We once thought it was possible to blame others for our drinking, and we had sneaky ways of manipulating family members so they would feel guilty and comply with our demands. In sober living, we must not allow ourselves to slip back into this mode of thinking. Keeping the focus on personal responsibility is our best way of approaching all problems. "What is my responsibility in this?" is a good question to ask in evaluating our part in situations. We are always responsible for our own sobriety. Beyond that, we're also responsible for maintaining good attitudes and making sure that our own anger and pride do not make any situation worse than it already is. I'll be responsible today for my own thoughts, feelings, and actions. If any stressful issue or situation arises, I'll keep my focus on personal responsibility. ************************************************** ********* Keep It Simple When patterns are broken, new worlds emerge.--Tuli Keupferberg. Recovery has happened to us. We stopped drinking or using other drugs and, like magic, a new world appeared. Being sober sure shakes up a person's life! It's good to shake up our world every now and then. This way, we see there's not just one “world”, but many. We grow each time we step into a new world and learn new things. Of course, the addict's world was new and exciting to us at one time. But we got trapped and couldn't find our way out. Our Higher Power had to free us. We need to try new worlds, but we always need to take our Higher Power with us--into worlds where there's honesty, love, and trust. Prayer for the Day: Higher Power, lead me to new worlds where I'll learn more about living fully. Action for the Day: I'll list 3 ways I can step into a new world today. For example, I could read something new, go to a museum, or eat a new food. ************************************************** ********* Each Day a New Beginning Occupation is essential. --Virginia Woolf Having desires, setting goals, and achieving them are necessary to our fulfillment. There is purpose to our lives, even when we can't clearly see our direction; even when we doubt our abilities to contribute. Let us continue to respond to our opportunities. Many of us experienced the clouds of inaction in earlier periods waiting, waiting, waiting, hoping our circumstances would change, even praying they would, but taking no responsibility for changing what was in our power. Inaction caged us. Stripped of power, life held little or no meaning. However, we've been given another chance. The program has changed our lives. We have a reason for living, each day, even the days we feel hopeless and worthless. Maybe we are without a goal at this time. Perhaps the guidance is not catching our attention. We can become quiet with ourselves and let our daydreams act as indicators. We have something essential to do, and we are being given all the chances we'll need to fulfill our purpose. We can trust in our worth, our necessity to others. I will remember, the program came to me. I must have a part to play. I will look and listen for my opportunities today. ************************************************** ********* Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition Chapter 8 - TO WIVES We realize that we have been giving you much direct advice. We may have seemed to lecture. If that is so we are sorry, for we ourselves, don’t always care for people who lecture us. But what we have related is base upon experience, some of it painful. We had to learn these things the hard way. That is why we are anxious that you understand, and that you avoid these unnecessary difficulties.* So to you out there—who may soon be with us—we say “Good luck and God bless you!" * The fellowship of Al-Anon Family Groups was formed about thirteen years after this chapter was written. Though it is entirely separate from Alcoholics Anonymous, it uses the general principles of the A.A. program as a guide for husbands, wives, relatives, friends, and others close to alcoholics. The foregoing pages (though addressed only to wives) indicate the problems such people may face. Alateen, for teen-aged children of alcoholics, is a part of Al-Anon. If there is no Al-Anon listing in your local telephone book, you may obtain further information on Al-Anon Family Groups by writing to its World Service Office: Box 862, Midtown Station, New York, NY 10018-0862 p. 121 ************************************************** ********* Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition Stories TWICE GIFTED - Diagnosed with cirrhosis, this sick alcoholic got sobriety--plus a lifesaving liver transplant. I had attended A.A. meetings prior to that time, but the words of the doctors had somehow, finally, begun to clear the way. At the meeting that first night more of what the people in A.A. were saying started to pass through my ears, and into my head, and finally into my heart. The members of Alcoholics Anonymous offered me a gift, a gift of life. I found myself willing, and after some weeks of just showing up, I began to believe that this program could work for me. The next six months were spent in A.A. meetings every single day, at least one, sometimes two or three. I found a wonderful, patient sponsor who helped me to work the steps and practice the principles. pp. 473 - 474 ************************************************** ********* Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions Step Five - "Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs." At this stage, the difficulties of trying to deal rightly with God by ourselves are twofold. Though we may at first be startled to realize that God knows all about us, we are apt to get used to that quite quickly. Somehow, being alone with God doesn't seem as embarrassing as facing up to another person. Until we actually sit down and talk aloud about what we have so long hidden, our willingness to clean house is still largely theoretical. When we are honest with another person, it confirms that we have been honest with ourselves and with God. pp. 59-60 ************************************************** ********* Cease to inquire what the future has in store, and take as a gift whatever the day brings forth. --Horace "Ask for what you want. Ask for help, ask for input, ask for advice and ideas -- but never be afraid to ask." --Brian Tracy "Material success may result in the accumulation of possessions; but only spiritual success will enable you to enjoy them." --Nido Qubein "The act of taking the first step is what separates the winners from the losers." --Brian Tracy Life is very beautiful, you know. It is a gift given to us by God. Don’t ignore its beauty. Don’t ignore its joy. Don’t ignore its love. Embrace it, cherish it, and live it with all of your heart. Make the life you live as beautiful and wonderful as the life God has given you. Whether you are rich or poor, young or old, healthy or sick always remember that life is beautiful and so are you. --Joseph J. Mazzella ************************************************** ********* Father Leo's Daily Meditation TODAY "The only courage that matters is the kind that gets you from one moment to the next." -- Mignon McLaughlin I do not have to have courage for a lifetime, just for the moment. I am helped by the philosophy that teaches me to live one day at a time, one hour at a time, one moment at a time. It is too awesome to try to live my tomorrows today. Life is a process to be lived not a future to be anticipated. For years I tried to anticipate what life had to throw at me, and I always came away confused, surprised and exhausted. I missed the joy of the moment by worrying about the future. What was he going to do? What happens if the police get involved? Will my mother telephone next week? Will my niece grow up to be alcoholic? Am I to blame? I had a thousand questions that I could not answer; nobody can answer for the future today. I can only take responsibility for my life a day at a time. I developed the courage to face the moment and I became a winner. May I avoid the temptation to seek the fantasy of tomorrow for the reality of today. ************************************************** ********* For God did not appoint us to wrath, but to obtain salvation through our Lord Jesus Christ...' 1 Thessalonians 5:9 "I urge, then, first of all, that requests, prayers, intercession and thanksgiving be made for everyone-- for kings and all those in authority, that we may live peaceful and quiet lives in all godliness and holiness. This is good, and pleases God our Savior, who wants all men to be saved and to come to a knowledge of the truth." I Timothy 2:1-5 “He who covers and forgives an offense seeks love, but he who repeats or harps on a matter separates even close friends.” Proverbs 17:9 ************************************************** ********* Daily Inspiration Use Jesus' as your example on how to live. Lord, You will guide and advise us and then You will leave it to us to decide our own future. Give us wisdom in our choices. God gives abundantly to those who pass His gifts on to others. Lord, let Your blessings flow in to me and then out from me. I will neither be selfish nor let my gifts stagnate. ************************************************** ********* NA Just For Today Misery Is Optional "No one is forcing us to give up our misery." Basic Text pg. 29 It's funny to remember how reluctant we once were to surrender to recovery. We seemed to think we had wonderful, fulfilling lives as using addicts and that giving up our drugs would be worse than serving a life sentence at hard labor. In reality, the opposite was true: Our lives were miserable, but we were afraid to trade that familiar misery for the uncertainties of recovery. It's possible to be miserable in recovery, too, though it's not necessary. No one will force us to work the steps, go to meetings, or work with a sponsor. There is no NA militia that will force us to do the things that will free us from pain. But we do have a choice. We've already chosen to give up the misery of active addiction for the sanity of recovery. Now, if we're ready to exchange today's misery for even greater peace, we have a means to do just that - if we really want to. Just for today: I don't have to be miserable unless I really want to be. Today, I will trade in my misery for the benefits of recovery. ************************************************** ********* You are reading from the book Today's Gift. Feelings are everywhere--gentle. --J. Masai Throughout the day we experience many feelings. Losing something makes us angry. Fighting with a friend makes us sad. Perhaps we're lonely because no one is home. Getting an unexpected treat makes us happy. Our feelings come and go just like the hours of our lives. Letting our feelings be whatever they are is good. They'll go away in time. We may not like all feelings; sadness or anger may be uncomfortable, but being human means we'll have many different feelings each day. If we're quiet with them, they'll help us grow and understand others better, and then they will suddenly be gone, replaced perhaps by a feeling we like more. Will I be able to accept my feelings today whether I like them or not? You are reading from the book Touchstones. The art of living lies not in eliminating but in growing with troubles. -- Bernard M. Baruch Naturally, we wish to avoid pain and difficulty, but life experience and a measure of reflection show us that most of what comes our way is beyond our control. We'll never outwit all the possibilities for trouble, even if we live to be 100 years old. We have often failed to learn from trouble because we cast ourselves in the roles of passive men and victims. We pointed outside ourselves and said, "Look at what is happening to poor me!" When we use trouble as our teacher, we develop the art of living. We are taking a spiritual approach, using our Higher Power as our guide. We can choose today to use our difficulties for our learning and growth. We might ask, "What can I learn from this experience about myself as a man? How can I use this to strengthen myself for the future?" Serenity develops, not by eliminating life's difficulties, but by having a reliable relationship with our Higher Power in the midst of it all. With God as my guide, I will use whatever comes my way as an opportunity for growth. You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning. Occupation is essential. --Virginia Woolf Having desires, setting goals, and achieving them are necessary to our fulfillment. There is purpose to our lives, even when we can't clearly see our direction; even when we doubt our abilities to contribute. Let us continue to respond to our opportunities. Many of us experienced the clouds of inaction in earlier periods waiting, waiting, waiting, hoping our circumstances would change, even praying they would, but taking no responsibility for changing what was in our power. Inaction caged us. Stripped of power, life held little or no meaning. However, we've been given another chance. The program has changed our lives. We have a reason for living, each day, even the days we feel hopeless and worthless. Maybe we are without a goal at this time. Perhaps the guidance is not catching our attention. We can become quiet with ourselves and let our daydreams act as indicators. We have something essential to do, and we are being given all the chances we'll need to fulfill our purpose. We can trust in our worth, our necessity to others. I will remember, the program came to me. I must have a part to play. I will look and listen for my opportunities today. You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go. Affirmations One of our choices in recovery is choosing what we want to think - using our mental energy positively. Positive mental energy, positive thinking, does not mean we think unrealistically or revert to denial. If we don't like something, we respect our own opinion. If we spot a problem, we're honest about it. if something isn't working out, we accept reality. But we don't dwell on the negative parts of our experience. Whatever we give energy to, we empower. There is magic in empowering the good, because whatever we empower grows bigger. One way to empower the good is through affirmations: simple positive statements we make to ourselves: I love myself... I'm good enough... My life is good...I'm glad I'm alive today... What I want and need is coming to me... I can... Our choice in recovery is not whether to use affirmations. We've been affirming thoughts and beliefs since we were old enough to speak. The choice in recovery is what we want to affirm. Today, I will empower the good in myself, others, and life. I'm willing to release, or let go of, negative thought patterns and replace them with positive ones. I will choose what I want to affirm, and I will make it good. The world can not change overnight, nor can I. Just one step at a time, one day at a time, I'm exactly where I need to be to get to exactly where I am going. I trust this process today. --Ruth Fishel *************************************** Journey To The Heart Make Time to Play Go play. Yes, take a break and go play. When your head starts to pound and your back starts to ache, stop. Do something you want to do. Something that feels good, feels fun. Leave your worries behind. Put them in a box, then close it, and go play. We make sure that our children take time for recess every day. But we forget that we need recess,too. The lingering threads of work and worry can tie us to tasks done and undone. They can block our connection to joy, creativity, and the vital life-giving force that courses through us all. We no longer need to slump with tension and fatigue. It isn’t necessary and it doesn’t help a thing. Most often, it hurts. Your fatigue may be from lack of play as much as lack of sleep. You might begin to see that you don’t need a rest, a nap, or more vitamin C. You need to play. Play as much as you can. Find time– take time– to play. It may give you the energy you need. *************************************** More Language Of Letting Go Touch and taste your life Tonight, the sun set like a red ball over the hill to the west of the house. There’s an eclipse coming in just a few days, and the ocean knows it. She can feel the moon. She rises high on her haunches, ready to pounce, then slowly rolls forward. The waves build and stretch until finally the lip crumbles and the back of the wave chases the front of the wave culminating in a massive waterfall. She smashes against the pilings, shaking the entire house. The sky is rose, lavender, and black. The house smells richly of the pasta and meat sauce in the pots on the stove. A cedar log burning in the fireplace warms the room. This is my experience now. It’s an enchanted moment when the world rests but is still alive. Experience is the privilege of being human. I can taste the spagetti. I can smell the salt of the ocean. I can feel the burning cedar taking the chill out of the air. I can love. I can hurt. What a sweet experience this is. And I thank God for every moment and feeling of each experience I’ve been given. Do you taste your life? Or do you float through it unaware of the beauty that surrounds you each day? We weren’t meant to sleep all the time. Sometimes when we first become sober or begin recovering from codependency, we wonder what we’ll ever do with all this time and all the feelings that we’re left with now that the alcohol and drama have been taken away. Revel in the experience you’re going through. Feel, touch, and taste each moment of your life. Then be aware of how exquisitely beautiful it is. What’s you’re experience right now? God, help me be aware of the beauty and power that flows through this universe. Help me remember how connected I am to that beauty and power through each experience I’ve been given. *************************************** Blessing Our Bodies Self-Body Scan by Madisyn Taylor We can detect subtle changes in our own bodies by performing our own energy scan on a regular basis. As the living vehicles for our spirits, our bodies deserve loving attention and care. We can positively affect our health, prevent illness, and heal injuries by regularly focusing our mental and spiritual energy on the workings of our bodies. This can be done by performing a body scan on yourself. Begin by lying in a comfortable position and taking three deep cleansing breaths. Imagine, if you will, a sunbeam entering the top of your head. Feel this light slowly scanning each part of your internal body. Allow it to scan every cell in your body and keep breathing. Every time you exhale, blow out negative energy you may feel. Notice any changes in your body. Sensations may vary from person to person. You may feel a shift in body temperature, see a color or flash of light, or hear a voice offering you guidance. If you feel a block in a certain area of your body, sit with that block and feel into it. Ask your body why that block is there and what you need to do to release it. Try not to judge or analyze the wisdom that comes to you. Often, we experience energy blocks in our body because our body is trying to tell us something. You may want to breathe into that area until you feel the block dissolving. When you have finished your scan, take one last deep breath and exhal! e any energetic residue that you are ready to release. The body doesn’t lie, and it has much wisdom to share with us. Any injuries or blocks that exist in our bodies are there so that we can learn from having them in our bodies. An existing injury can teach us to slow down or help us recognize that something is out of balance in our bodies. The more you scan your body, the better you will become at it. If you sense that something is not right in your body, you may want to visit a doctor and tell them about your experience. When you have finished your scan, don’t forget to thank your wonderful, amazing body. Published with permission from Daily OM *************************************** A Day At A Time Reflection For The Day Before I came to The Program — in fact, before I knew of The Program’s existence — I drifted from crisis to crisis. Occasionally, I tried to use my will to chart a new course; however, like a rudderless ship, I inevitably foundered once again on the rocks of my own despair. Today, in contrast, I receive guidance from my Higher Power. Sometimes, the only answer is a sense of peace or an assurance that all is well. Even though there may be a time of waiting before I see results, or before any direct guidance comes, will I try to remain confident that things are working out in ways that will be for the greatest good of everyone concerned? Today I Pray May I not expect instant, verbal communication with my Higher Power, like directions on a stamped, self-addressed post-card. May I have patience, and listen, and sense that God is present. May I accept my new feelings of radiant warmth and serenity as God’s way of assuring me that I am, finally, making some good choices. Today I Will Remember Patience: God’s message will come. *************************************** One More Day I’ve heard He works with broken people, I am sick, hurting, broken. I am waiting and willing now…. – Flora E. Meredith Sometimes life can feel so hopeless. Pain, anxiety about health, and fear can plague our thoughts. Admitting things are out of our control can be so hard. It takes a tremendous amount of courage to admit that we need help. Giving ourselves over to the care of our Higher Power is frightening when we have become used to taking care of our own needs. The hardest job is ours, though, for we must be willing to let go of that part of ourselves that is troubled, in order to become whole once again. We must be willing to let go in order to be helped. I have made the hardest move and placed myself into the care of my Higher Power. Now I must wait. ************************************ Food For Thought Setting Realistic Goals Part of growing up is learning to set realistic goals for ourselves. Our grandiose egos used to dare us into dreaming great dreams, which led to feelings of failure when the dreams did not materialize. If we expect the impossible of ourselves, we are bound to be disappointed. Those of us who come into OA with many pounds to lose need to be realistic about the amount of time we allow for achieving the weight loss. We also need to be realistic about the fact that we may never look like fashion models. If we expect all other problems to vanish upon the attainment of a weight goal, we are not being realistic. Maintaining abstinence, working the Twelve Steps, and attending meetings regularly keeps us in touch with the reality of our disease. The goals we set for ourselves are determined by where we are in actuality right now. Some of us have farther to go than others. The goals we set should challenge us rather than defeat us before we begin. Show me the goals that are realistic for me today. ***************************************** One Day At A Time REAL LIVING "A life lived in fear is a life half-lived." Tara Morice as Fran, (From Baz Luhrmann's film "Strictly Ballroom") When I first saw this movie in 1993, it spoke volumes to my life and to my recovery. I had spent my life afraid, afraid of everything and everybody. If I crossed you, I feared your wrath. If I disappointed you, I dreaded the loss of your love. If things were going well, I wondered, often aloud, when the other shoe was going to drop. I had nowhere to go, no one to trust, nothing I could believe in, because I knew it would be taken away from me. The only safe haven I had was in the food, but I was afraid of the consequences. The biggest thing that kept me in my disease was the fear of what might be on the other side. The bravest thing I ever did was walk through the doors of my first program meeting. I had been shamed into it by a therapist, but once I got there I sensed that my fears would be vanquished. I saw people who had been there, done that, and designed the t-shirt of fear that I was wearing. They showed me, through the Steps and Traditions, that there was more to life. The program of recovery has taught me that a life of fear indeed is a life half-lived. Living in fear, I only succeeded in quashing the joy, the adventure, the zest for life that was naturally planted in me. It also eliminated the biggest fear ... that of a Higher Power. It has given me faith, the diametric opposite of fear. Faith shined its light on the darkness of my life, and allowed me to live a fuller existence that cannot be taken from me, save for retreat into fearful despair. I am so immensely grateful for what I have been given: life, instead of mere existence. One Day at a Time . . . Faith in a Power greater than myself is a powerful antidote to a fearful, half-lived life. I pray to keep the light of faith shining brightly in my life. Mark ***************************************** AA 'Big Book' - Quote Continue to watch for selfishness, dishonesty, resentment, and fear. When these crop up, we ask God at once to remove them. We discuss them with someone immediately and make amends quickly if we have harmed anyone. Then we resolutely turn our thoughts to someone we can help. Love and tolerance of others is our code. - Pg. 84 - Into Action Hour To Hour - Book - Quote One of the things you can learn right now is that it is OK not to have all of the answers. For the first time in a long time, no one expects you to know anything. Enjoy it! Let me know it is OK to not be strong. It is OK to rely on my Higher Power. Forgiving and Moving On As I work through the blocks in the way of my own serenity I find that I consider forgiveness as a way to release the residue of resentment and pain that live inside me from unresolved issues from the past. As I put more and more energy into my own personal growth, I find that I value my own peace of mind more than holding onto anger and hurt. I find I want to lay the sword down. It becomes too heavy in my hand, the weight of carrying it encumbers my own freedom. Today, the present I will give myself is forgiveness. I am ready to consider forgiveness - Tian Dayton PhD Pocket Sponsor - Book - Quote The consequences of being dishonest, of being a liar, is not so much that others will not believe you, as it is that you can not believe others. 'Does what I gain by lying balance out the integrity I lose?' (P 54, CDA First Edition) "Walk Softly and Carry a Big Book" - Book Surrender, don't quit. Time for Joy - Book - Quote The world can not change overnight, nor can I. Just one step at a time, one day at a time, I'm exactly where I need to be to get to exactly where I am going. I trust this process today. Alkiespeak - Book - Quote Self Will: An alkie ship's captain at night sees a light dead ahead, on collision course and sends a signal; 'Change your course, 12 degrees west.' A signal comes back; 'Change your's 12 degrees east.' The captain begins to get angry; 'I'm a captain.' The reply: 'I'm a seaman, 2nd class.' The captain is furious now: 'I'm on a destroyer, change your course, and call me sir!' The reply; 'I'm on a lighthouse, your call.. sir.' - Jack K. (Amended)
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December 12
Daily Reflections A COMMON SOLUTION The tremendous fact for every one of us is that we have discovered a common solution. We have a way out on which we can absolutely agree, and upon which we can join in brotherly and harmonious action. This is the great news this book carries to those who suffer from alcoholism. ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, p. 17 The most far-reaching Twelfth Step work was the publication of our Big Book, Alcoholics Anonymous. Few can equal that book for carrying the message. My idea is to get out of myself and simply do what I can. Even if I haven't been asked to sponsor and my phone rarely rings, I am still able to do Twelfth Step work. I get involved in "brotherly and harmonious action." At meetings I show up early to greet people and to help set up, and to share my experience, strength and hope. I also do what I can with service work. My Higher Power gives me exactly what He wants me to do at any given point in my recovery and, if I let Him, my willingness will bring Twelfth Step work automatically. ************************************************** ********* Twenty-Four Hours A Day A.A. Thought For The Day Clergymen speak of the spiritual fellowship of the church. This is much closer to the A.A. way than mere group therapy. Such a fellowship is based on a common belief in God and a common effort to live a spiritual life. We try to do this in A.A. We also try to get down to the real problems in each others' lives. We try to open up to each other. We have a real desire to be of service to each other. We try to go deep down into the personal lives of our members. Do I appreciate the deep personal fellowship of A.A.? Meditation For The Day Love and fear cannot dwell together. By their very natures, they cannot exist side by side. Fear is a very strong force. And therefore a weak and vacillating love can soon be routed by fear. But a strong love, a love that trusts in God, is sure eventually to conquer fear. The only sure way to dispel fear is to have the love of God more and more in your heart and soul. Prayer For The Day I pray that love will drive out the fear in my life. I pray that my fear will flee before the power of the love of God. ************************************************** ********* As Bill Sees It Going It Alone, p. 274 Going it alone in spiritual matters is dangerous. How many times have we heard well-intentioned people claim the guidance of God when it was plain that they were mistaken? Lacking both practice and humility, they deluded themselves and were so able to justify the most arrant nonsense on the ground that this was what God had told them. People of very high spiritual development almost always insist on checking with friends or spiritual advisers the guidance they feel they have received from God. Surely, then, a novice ought not lay himself open to the chance of making foolish, perhaps tragic, blunders. While the comment or advice of others may not be infallible, it is likely to be far more specific than any direct guidance we may receive while we are still inexperienced in establishing contact with a Power greater than ourselves. 12 & 12, p. 60 ************************************************** ********* Walk In Dry Places Demanding credit Approval. The struggle for recognition sometimes takes an ugly form in AA. Even the pioneers of AA had disputes about who deserved credit for the fellowship's success. Demanding credit and recognition is a loser's game for people who are seeking growth in sobriety. It is an indication that we still need applause and approval of the sort that drove us while we were drinking. It is a way of saying that we still don't believe good work should be done for its own sake, but rather for the applause that goes with it. The real kicker is that people who demand recognition never get enough of it. Ironically, if we don't try to obtain credit for our actions, it sometimes comes anyway, without effort on our part. I'll watch myself for any tendency to demand credit for the things I do in the program. My healthy growth in sobriety should be reward enough. ************************************************** ********* Keep It Simple God gave us memory that we might have roses in December.--James M. Barrie. Do you remember what it was like to not have sobriety? Remember the shame? Remember the loneliness? Remember lying and wishing you could stop? Remember the powerlessness? Do you remember, also, how it felt when you began to believe you had an illness? Your shame was lifted. Remember what it was like to look around at your meeting and know you belonged? Your loneliness was lifted. Remember when you family started to trust you again? Your dishonesty had been lifted. Sobriety gives us many roses. Our memory will help to keep them fresh. Prayer for the Day: Higher Power, never let me forget what it was like. Why? Because I'm only one drink or pill away from losing You. Action for the Day: I'll find a friend I trust. I'll tell that person what my life was like before sobriety. I'll also talk about how I got sober. ************************************************** ********* Each Day a New Beginning If I am to be remembered, I hope it is for the honesty I try to demonstrate, the patience I try to live by, and the compassion I feel for others. --JoAnn Reed Each of us hopes we are leaving a lasting, positive impression on those we befriend and maybe even those we encounter by chance. Having others speak well of us provides the strokes that are often necessary to our "keeping on" when difficulties surface. What we sometimes forget is that we are responsible for whatever lasting impression we leave. Our behavior does influence what another person carries away from our mutual experience. We may have left unfavorable impressions during our using days. On occasion, we do yet. However, it's progress, not perfection, we're after. And each day we begin anew, with a clear slate and fresh opportunities to spread good cheer, to treat others with love and respect, to face head-on and with full honesty all situations drawing our attention and participation. As I look forward to the hours ahead, I will remember that I control my actions toward others. If I want to be remembered fondly, I must treat each person so. ************************************************** ********* Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition Chapter 9 - The Family Afterwards OUR WOMEN FOLK have suggested certain attitudes a wife may take with the husband who is recovering. Perhaps they created the impression that he is to be wrapped in cotton wool and placed on a pedestal. Successful readjustment means the opposite. All members of the family should meet upon the common ground of tolerance, understanding and love. This involves a process of deflation. The alcoholic, his wife, his children, his “in-laws,” each one is likely to have fixed ideas about the family’s attitude towards himself or herself. Each is interested in having his or her wishes respected. We find the more one member of the family demands that the others concede to him, the more resentful they become. This makes for discord and unhappiness. And why? Is it not because each wants to play the lead? Is not each trying to arrange the family show to his liking? Is he not unconsciously trying to see what he can take from the family life rather than give? p. 122 ************************************************** ********* Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition Stories TWICE GIFTED - Diagnosed with cirrhosis, this sick alcoholic got sobriety--plus a lifesaving liver transplant. During the six months of evaluation by the clinic, I was given a blood test at least weekly, sometimes randomly, to validate that I was not drinking. I had weekly meetings with the psychiatrist on the transplant team. My family members attended some of those meetings, and the doctor also had contact with my sponsor. Another mandate was that I enter some type of psychotherapy with a professional, either group or individual sessions. This too was not something I would have chosen for myself, but it has turned out to be a very positive force in my life. At the time of evaluation, there had to be evidence that I was doing everything possible to assure my continued sobriety. After a six-month period I was officially listed as a candidate for a liver transplant. p. 474 ************************************************** ********* Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions Step Five - "Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs." The second difficulty is this: what comes to us alone may be garbled by our own rationalization and wishful thinking. The benefit of talking to another person is that we can get his direct comment and counsel on our situation, and there can be no doubt in our minds what that advice is. Going it alone in spiritual matters is dangerous. How many times have we heard well-intentioned people claim the guidance of God when it was all too plain that they were sorely mistaken. Lacking both practice and humility, they had deluded themselves and were able to justify the most arrant nonsense on the ground that this was what God had told them. It is worth noting that people of very high spiritual development almost always insist on checking with friends or spiritual advisers the guidance they feel they have received from God. Surely, then, a novice ought not lay himself open to the chance of making foolish, perhaps tragic, blunders in this fashion. While the comment or advice of others may be by no means infallible, it is likely to be far more specific than any direct guidance we may receive while we are still so inexperienced in establishing contact with a Power greater than ourselves. p. 60 ************************************************** ********* Just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to doesn't mean they don't love you the best way they know how. --Unknown Smiles are contagious. See if you can infect someone today. --unknown I can't do His will my way. --unknown "It is a sign of strength, not of weakness, to admit that you don't know all the answers." --John P. Loughrane Miracles are not just extraordinary occurrences. They are also small simple things that are often overlooked. Take the time today to notice one. --unknown ************************************************** ********* Father Leo's Daily Meditation PRINCIPLES "At the back of every noble life are the principles that have fashioned it." -- George Lorimer God is to be found in the principles of life. The suggested patterns of behavior that lead to happiness, freedom and unity in the world. God is not just a "good idea", an intellectual philosophy or other worldly entity. God is practical goodness that can be demonstrated and seen in the world. Principles lead to action; principles produce change in attitude and behavior; principles must have a practical result. Sometimes you hear the phrase "walk the talk", implying that the principles we talk about should be evident in our daily lives. Also principles should be seen in the small things of life being courteous, giving a smile to a stranger, offering a hug to a friend in pain. God is alive in the principles of life. Help me to practice the principles I believe in. ************************************************** ********* "Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already been made perfect, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. Brothers, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus. All of us who are mature should take such a view of things. And if on some point you think differently, that too God will make clear to you. Only let us live up to what we have already attained." Philippians 3:12-16 "Your life will be brighter than the noonday....And you will have confidence, because there is hope." Job 11:17-18 ************************************************** ********* Daily Inspiration Reach higher than you think possible for all that you want and you find that often you attain even more. Lord, I rely on Your promises made to each of us and especially on Your love. Be patient with others, but mostly be patient with yourself. Lord, help me to keep a smile on my face and to realize my goodness and refuse to dwell on my imperfections. ************************************************** ********* NA Just For Today Fear Of Change "By working the steps, we come to accept a Higher Power's will.... We lose our fear of the unknown. We are set free." Basic Text pg. 16 Life is a series of changes, both large and small. Although we may know and accept this fact intellectually, chances are that our initial emotional reaction to change is fear. For some reason, we assume that each and every change is going to hurt, causing us to be miserable. If we look back on the changes that have happened in our lives, we'll find that most of them have been for the best. We were probably very frightened at the prospect of life without drugs, yet it's the best thing that's ever happened to us. Perhaps we've lost a job that we thought we'd die without, but later on we found greater challenge and personal fulfillment in a new career. As we venture forth in our recovery, we're likely to experience more changes. We will outgrow old situations and become ready for new ones. With all sorts of changes taking place, it's only natural to grab hold of something, anything familiar and try to hold on. Solace can be found in a Power greater than ourselves. The more we allow changes to happen at the direction of our Higher Power, the more we'll trust that those changes are for the best. Faith will replace fear, and we'll know in our hearts that all will be well. Just for today: When I am afraid of a change in my life, I will take comfort from knowing that God's will for me is good. ************************************************** ********* You are reading from the book Today's Gift. Patience is needed with everyone, but first of all with ourselves. --Saint Francis De Sales One night Sandra was having trouble putting a puzzle together. Angrily, she pushed all the pieces into a huge pile. "I can't do this," she said. She got up and walked over to the couch and plopped down. "Let me tell you a story," said her dad, as he sat down next to her. "There was a daughter who helped her dad take care of her baby sister. Again and again, she helped her baby sister stand and try to walk. One day the daughter tried to put a puzzle together but gave up after only a few tries. She had forgotten how many times she had helped her baby sister." We are all like Sandra, sometimes. We forget to allow ourselves to fail, even though our growth up to now has been a series of failures that we learned from. With patience, we allow ourselves to take chances we might not otherwise explore, and we widen our world of possibilities. Life has been patient with us so far, now it's our turn. What have I failed at that I can try again today? You are reading from the book Touchstones. I like a man with faults, especially when he knows it. To err is human - I'm uncomfortable around gods. --Hugh Prather We are more comfortable around a man who has faults and knows it. We respect such a man. So why do we have such a hard time admitting our own faults? This matter of honesty comes very gradually and only with hard work. We may have to force ourselves to admit a fault because we expect to feel unworthy. In fact, what we do feel after admitting a fault is peacefulness and self-respect. We may expect to be rejected and judged by friends, but usually friendships grow more solid when we admit our faults. A true friend does not need to trust that we will always be right, only that we will be honest. At this moment are we being nagged by some fault? Is there something about the way we have talked to someone that doesn't seem right? Have we been unfair or dishonest? This is a program of progress, not perfection. So, to make progress we admit our imperfections, and as we do, we become more fully human. God, in this moment when I feel my human mistakes, help me to be open to your love. You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning. If I am to be remembered, I hope it is for the honesty I try to demonstrate, the patience I try to live by, and the compassion I feel for others. --JoAnn Reed Each of us hopes we are leaving a lasting, positive impression on those we befriend and maybe even those we encounter by chance. Having others speak well of us provides the strokes that are often necessary to our "keeping on" when difficulties surface. What we sometimes forget is that we are responsible for whatever lasting impression we leave. Our behavior does influence what another person carries away from our mutual experience. We may have left unfavorable impressions during our using days. On occasion, we do yet. However, it's progress, not perfection, we're after. And each day we begin anew, with a clear slate and fresh opportunities to spread good cheer, to treat others with love and respect, to face head-on and with full honesty all situations drawing our attention and participation. As I look forward to the hours ahead, I will remember that I control my actions toward others. If I want to be remembered fondly, I must treat each person so. You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go. God's Will Each day, ask God what God wants us to do today; then ask God to help. A simple request, but so profound and far reaching it can take us anywhere we need to go. Listen: all that we want, all that we need, all the answers, all the help, all the good, all the love, all the healing, all the wisdom, all the fulfillment of desire is embodied in this simple request. We need say no more than Thank You. This Plan that has been made for us is not one of deprivation. It is one of fullness, joy, and abundance. Walk into it. See for yourself. Today, I will ask God to show me what God wants me to do for this day, and then ask for help to do that. I will trust that is sufficient to take me into light and joy. There is something special waiting for me to do with this day. I know that when it is time I will be inspired from a place deep within myself. I trust that I will know what to do when the time is right. --Ruth Fishel *************************************** Journey To The Heart Protect Your Energy Just as we strive to protect and conserve earth’s energy resources, we can strive to protect and conserve our own. Become more aware of the impact of things, people, and activities on you and your energy. What feeds you, charges you? What drains and depletes you? As you grow and become more sensitive to how things feel to you, you’ll naturally grow to dislike and be uncomfortable with whatever drains or negatively impacts your energy. Yes, some difficult, draining situations are inevitable. But we can learn to protect ourselves in those situations. Sometimes we need to let go of people, places, and behaviors that don’t work for us anymore, that drain, exhaust, and deplete us. Pay attention to the impact of certain people, places, behaviors, and events on your energy. Pay attention to how you feel when you eat certain foods, drink certain beverages, go certain places. Learn to listen to your body, your emotions, and your heart. Be prepared to let go of some things and people along the way. Be gentle with yourself while you do. Learn to conserve your energy. It is a precious, valuable resource. *************************************** More Language Of Letting Go Create an extraordinary life I ran into my friend one day on the street. I asked him how he was. He said not very good. But if he won the lottery– and he showed me a few tickets– he’d be happy then. I asked him if business was slow. He said, yes, income was down and bills were up. He needed a big hit to balance the ledger sheet. We talked for a while. I asked him what he made an hour. He said $100, but he was mostly getting appointments for half-hour sessions. He was a therapist, and business wasn’t very promising right now. “Gee,” I said, counting up the hours in a week, “if you worked four half hours a day, that’s $1,000 dollars a week and $4,000 a month. Sounds like pretty good income, at least to me.” “I never thought of it that way,” he said. “Instead of trying to win the lottery or get that big break, why don’t you try to happily do just four half hours of work a day? Then you don’t have to win the lottery to break the bank. You’ll be pretty well off right now.” It’s easy to want to win the big one or think of a windfall as the only solution to the problems we face. And the lottery we want to win might not be just in money. We can easily take that kind of thinking into our relationships or our work. Buy a chance to win the lottery, if that’s what you want to do. But maybe you could look at things a different way. What if you stopped going for the big one and tried to do a lot of little things well? You could work on being the best friend that you could be. Or maybe you could get closer to that person you are dating. Instead of waiting for the perfect soul mate to come along, just be the best boyfriend or girlfriend in the relationship you already have. Instead of waiting to win the lottery, make the most out of all the ordinary moments in your life today. You’re richer than you think. God, help me remember that many ordinary moments, when well-lived, add up to an extraordinary life. *************************************** Finding Your Pinnacle Mountain Meditation by Madisyn Taylor Meditating near a mountain can be both powerful and grounding in a most profound way. Throughout history, humankind has stood in awe of mountains. The strength and sturdiness evident in the rocky crags and smooth slopes of peaks around the globe have from time immemorial inspired creativity and kindled courage. Mountains have been venerated by many cultures, which worshipped great summits as gods and sacred beings. In their looming presence, humanity has seen power, steadfastness, and resolve. Yet you needn’t live near a mountain to tap into this vast energy of commanding grandeur. Conversely, since mountains are as unique in form as human beings, your locale may exist under the unwavering gaze of a small mountain without your knowing it. As you practice mountain meditation, the power that lurks in the heart of all mountains will flow into you while their essential beauty reminds you that you, too, are a creature of the earth. If there are mountains in your area, plan to spend some time enjoying the peaceful embrace of Mother Nature, which can be a potent meditation aid. Likewise, grasping a rock or stone in your hand will enable you to easily tap into earth energy. If you are prevented by circumstance from visiting a mountain, however, begin by visualizing yourself at the base of a towering summit. Holding a rock can be helpful to tune into mountain energy. You may find yourself picturing a steep and majestic snowcapped peak or a lush, tree-covered mass that rises gently from the earth. Sit or imagine yourself sitting at the mountain’s base and spend a few minutes simply coexisting with it. When you feel tranquil, express your intention to commune with your mountain and ask to receive its energy. Project your consciousness onto the mountain’s peak, and look down upon the flatlands over which it stands guard. Send light to the flora and fauna that call the mountain home. You may discover that you ! feel wonderfully immense and unshakable as you delve deeper into the meditation. Finally, ask the mountain to serve as a guide and give it your sincerest gratitude. If you have literally visited a plateau or summit, pass time with the mountain by camping, hiking, or picnicking upon it. Or, if your journey has been a spiritual one, use your imagination to survey the sights, sounds, and scents of your mountain. As your explorations progress, you will become ever more grounded, growing gradually into your personal power. When you are finished meditating with mountain energy, give thanks to this strong and powerful energy for sharing time with you. Daily OM *************************************** A Day At A Time Reflection For The Day These days, if I go though an experience that is new and demanding, I can do so in a spirit of confidence and trust. Thanks to The Program and Twelve Steps, I’ve come to know that God is with me in all places and in all endeavors. His Spirit is in me as well as in the people around me. As a result, I feel comfortable even in new situations and at home even among strangers. Will I continue to flow along and grow along with The Program, trusting in the power and love of God at work in me and in my life? Today I Pray May God’s comfort be with me in all situations, familiar or new. May He rebuild the sagging bridge of my confidence. May I acknowledge God in me and in others around me. May that mutual identity in God help me communicate with people on a plane of honesty. If I can learn to trust God, I can learn to trust the ones who share this earth with me. Today I Will Remember God teaches me how to trust. *************************************** One More Day Unreal is action without discipline, charity without sympathy, ritual without devotion. Bhaqavadqita It’s so easy to routinely go about our lives without examining our motives, without deciding why we do the things we do. We may have become so accustomed to reacting to what we think is expected of us that we rarely ponder what we expect of ourselves. At what point do we become willing to know ourselves? Now may be the right moment to decide whether we act upon our own values, beliefs, and feelings, or whether we react to some vague sense of what others expect. By doing this, we might be surprised in discover that our charitable and spiritual actions do not change but they will become real because they are created by our inward sense of direction, discipline, love of others, and acceptance of self. The things I say and do today will be directed by what I expect of myself, not by what I think others expect of me. ************************************ Food For Thought Meal by Meal We abstain from compulsive overeating day-by-day and meal-by-meal. After breakfast, we do not worry about how we will feel at dinnertime. After breakfast we know that we have had an abstinent meal and that we can forget about food until it is time for lunch. If we allow ourselves to start thinking about what we will have for the next meal, and the meal after that, we turn on our obsession. The beauty of abstinence is that it permits us to get from one meal to the next without being constantly preoccupied with food. By abstaining from refined sugars and carbohydrates and our individual binge foods, we no longer have to fight the craving for more. By working the Twelve Steps, we fill our minds with nourishing thoughts, which drive out our former obsession with food. This meal, which I have planned, is the only one that concerns me now. I do not need to think about other meals or other foods. I will enjoy this meal, and then I will walk away from food into the rest of my life. Keep me abstinent, meal-by-meal. ***************************************** One Day At A Time ~GOD IS ~ Open your eyes and the whole world is full of God. Jakob Bohme When I was a child, my family never talked about God. I never knew the light of God, never felt His love or power, or recognized His presence in my life. When things were rough, I could only see the darkness. When I was lonely, I didn't know He was with me all the time. When I was weak or scared, I thought I had to overcome and be strong, and not be afraid. I didn't feel His presence with me, or believe that He was watching over me. Then, for twenty years I was married to a religious man who did talk about God. I tried so hard to believe as he did, but his words soon lost their meaning. The abuse began to overshadow the hope that things would change, and the belief that God would make everything okay, if only I believed like my husband. For years I have struggled with my faith, trying to believe in a God that was willing to light my way, love me, and protect me ... not just in the good times, but in the painful times. When I first came into recovery, I was still struggling, but I became "willing to believe" that God cared about me. I started watching for signs that He was there, ready to light my path when I could see only the darkness, ready to enfold me in His arms when I felt unloveable, and ready to protect me when I was scared. I became willing to recognize His presence in my day-to-day life. Now that I am willing, I can find God's love everywhere ... in a friendly smile, in the kind words of a friend, in the beauty of a flower, and in a child's eyes. Sometimes, when life gets rough, I have to look a little harder, but it's there. I only have to remain open and willing to see it and accept it. Wherever I am, God is there with me, ready to love and protect me. One Day at a Time . . . I will be willing to see God's presence in my life, and know that wherever I am, God is. I will let go, and let God be there. Debbie K. ***************************************** AA 'Big Book' - Quote Among us are wives, relatives and friends whose problem has been solved, as well as some who have not yet found a happy solution. We want the wives of Alcoholics Anonymous to address the wives of men who drink too much. What they say will apply to nearly everyone bound by ties of blood or affection to an alcoholic. - Pg. 104 - To Wives Hour To Hour - Book - Quote Do not be afraid to tell someone, anyone when you feel like taking a drink or using some drug. This is normal and can only be dealt with through open communication. Help me understand that the 'need' to use isn't really a need but a symptom of chemical dependency and nothing to be ashamed of. The Work of Living God and I have work to do, together we have a life to co-create. Mine. I will daily spend time tuning into that deeper place within me so that I can use my energies more wisely and efficiently to build my life. I will get farther faster when I live consciously rather than unconsciously, when I look for guidance rather than stress unnecessarily and create problems that don't need to be there. When I stay calm and centered, my life goes more smoothly. When I allow spirit to guide me through my day, I see beauty where I may have missed it, I have a center to work from and return to and I walk in grace rather than stumble my way through the day. I am held and open to divine instruction - Tian Dayton PhD Pocket Sponsor - Book - Quote 'The turning point in the process of growing up is when you discover the core of strength within you that survives all hurt.' ~Max Lerner. That 'core of strength' is based on abstinence and spiritual principles. I suit up; I show up: I grow up. Walk Softly and Carry a Big Book" - Book Practice makes progress. Time for Joy - Book - Quote There is something special waiting for me to do with this day. I know that when it is time I will be inspired from a place deep within myself. I trust that I will know what to do when the time is right. Alkiespeak - Book - Quote My folks know how to push my buttons, they installed them. - Anon.
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December 13
Daily Reflections THINKING OF OTHERS Our very lives, as ex-problem drinkers, depend upon our constant thought of others and how we may help meet their needs. ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, p. 20 Thinking of others has never come easily to me. Even when I try to work the A.A. program, I'm prone to thinking, "How do I feel today. Am I happy, joyous and free?" The program tells me that my thoughts must reach out to those around me: "Would that newcomer welcome someone to talk to?" "That person looks a little unhappy today, maybe I could cheer him up." It is only when I forget my problems, and reach out to contribute something to others that I can begin to attain the serenity and God-consciousness I seek. ************************************************** ********* Twenty-Four Hours A Day A.A. Thought For The Day We come now to A.A. fellowship. It is partly group therapy. It is partly spiritual fellowship. But it is even more. It is based on a common illness, a common failure, a common problem. It goes deep down into our personal lives and our personal needs. It requires a full opening up to each other of our inner most thoughts and most secret problems. All barriers between us are swept aside. They have to be. Then we try to help each other get well. The A.A. fellowship is based on a sincere desire to help the other person. In A.A. we can be sure of sympathy, understanding and real help. These things make the A.A. fellowship the best that we know. Do I fully appreciate the depth of the A.A. fellowship? Meditation For The Day The Higher Power can guide us to the right decisions if we pray about them. We can believe that many details of our lives are planned by God and planned with a wealth of forgiving love for the mistakes we have made. We can pray today to be shown the right way. We can choose the good, and when we choose it, we can feel that the whole power of the universe is behind us. We can achieve a real harmony with God's purpose for our lives. Prayer For The Day I pray that I may choose aright today. I pray that I may be shown the right way to live today. ************************************************** ********* As Bill Sees It Compelling Love, p.273 The life of each A.A. and of each group is built around our Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions. We know that the penalty for extensive disobedience to these principles is death for the individual and dissolution for the group. But an even greater force for A.A.'s unity is our compelling love for our fellow members and for our principles. ******************************** You might think the people at A.A.'s headquarters in New York would surely have to have some personal authority. But, long ago, trustees and secretaries alike found they could do no more than make very mild suggestions to the A.A. groups. They even had to coin a couple of sentences which still go into half the letters they write: "Of course you are at perfect liberty to handle this matter any way you please. But the majority experience in A.A. does seem to suggest . . ." A.A. world headquarters is not a giver of orders. It is, instead, our largest transmitter of the lessons of experience. 1. Twelve Concepts, p.8 2. 12 & 12, pp. 173-174 ************************************************** ********* Walk In Dry Places Visualizing Success Optimistic Thinking Some people insist that we must visualize ourselves enjoying success if we ever hope to achieve it. AA says virtually the same about sobriety; in fact, "A Vision for You" is the name of a chapter in Alcoholics Anonymous. There is a lot of talk in AA about projecting into the future and "seeing the worst." It takes far less energy.... and it's far more constructive..... to see ourselves doing our best, in sobriety and in all things. We have rich imaginative powers. Quite often, we used gifts wrongly when we were drinking... we would create dark pictures of our future troubles, particularly in the depressed periods between drinking bouts. In AA., we learn to use those same powers to see ourselves enjoying happy sobriety as well as a secure place in the world. I'm confident that I'm growing in sobriety and building healthy relationships in all of my activities. ************************************************** ********* Keep It Simple Live and Let Live--AA slogan In our addiction, we didn't car. We didn't care about other people, even though we wanted to. We just didn't come through for them in ways that mattered. We didn't care for ourselves. We let bad things happen to us. We didn't care about living. We set no goals, had no fun, smelled no flowers. In our recovery, we do care. We care about others, ourselves, and life. Our spirits are on the move again. There's life in our hearts. Our bodies are getting well. And we're daring to dream. We're living! Prayer for the Day: Higher Power, put some life and energy into me today. Help me love my new life. Action for the Day: Today, I'll focus on being alive. As I breathe in, I'll gather more and more life energy from nature. ************************************************** ********* Each Day a New Beginning Across the fields I can see the radiance of your smile and I know in my heart you are there. But the anguish I am feeling makes the distance so very far to cross. --Deidra Sarault Looking down the hallway of our lives, we sense many uncomfortable corners. And they are there. But through the discomfort comes the ease of understanding. The security that we long for, we discover has been ours all along. All we needed to do was move into the corner--with trust. As we stand before any problems, any new task, any unfamiliar environment, dread may overwhelm us. We stand there alone. But the choice available to us now and always is to invite the spirit of God to share the space we're in. In concert with God's Spirit, no problem or task can be greater than our combined abilities to handle it. Our lives will be eased in direct proportion to our faith that God is there, caring for our every concern, putting before us the experiences we need to grow on. We can let go of our anguish, our doubts and fears. Eternal triumph is ours for the asking. The smiling faces I encounter today--I will let them assure me that all is well. ************************************************** ********* Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition Chapter 9 - The Family Afterwards Cessation of drinking is but the first step away from a highly strained, abnormal condition. A doctor said to us, “Years of living with an alcoholic is almost sure to make any wife or child neurotic. The entire family is, to some extent, ill.” Let families realize, as they start their journey, that all will not be fair weather. Each in his turn may be footsore and may straggle. There will be alluring shortcuts and by-paths down which they may wander and lose their way. pp. 122-123 ************************************************** ********* Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition Stories TWICE GIFTED - Diagnosed with cirrhosis, this sick alcoholic got sobriety--plus a lifesaving liver transplant. By the time my name was placed on the transplant waiting list, I had become very sick. My liver had progressively continued to shut down, and the official wait had really just begun. I had no way of knowing how long it would be before a suitable organ would become available or how long it would be before I rose to the top of the list. At times I felt resentful of the selection process, the tests, the close supervision of my A.A. program, and the seemingly endless wait. Unquestionably it was only because of the program of Alcoholics Anonymous that I was able to let go of that resentment. I actually found an abundance of peace and serenity during those months preceding the surgery. After another six months I was given a second chance and a second gift of life. The surgery itself was a wonderful success, and my recuperation was unmarked by setbacks. pp. 474-475 ************************************************** ********* Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions Step Five - "Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs." Our next problem will be to discover the person in whom we are to confide. Here we ought to take much care, remembering that prudence is a virtue which carries a high rating. Perhaps we shall need to share with this person facts about ourselves which no others ought to know. We shall want to speak with someone who is experienced, who not only has stayed dry but has been able to surmount other serious difficulties. Difficulties, perhaps, like our own. This person may turn out to be one's sponsor, but not necessarily so. If you have developed a high confidence in him, and his temperament and problems are close to your own, then such a choice will be good. Besides, your sponsor already has the advantage of knowing something about your case. pp. 60-61 ************************************************** ********* Everything I experience serves a purpose. Today, my past is healed; I am alive, awake, and free. I have the courage to change. --Glad Day by Joan Larkin "We live by admiration, hope and love." --William Wordsworth If you judge people, you have no time to love them. --Mother Teresa Every morning you are handed 24 golden hours. They are one of the few things in this world that you get free of charge. If you had all the money in the world, you couldn't buy an extra hour. What will you do with this priceless treasure? --Anonymous An ounce of action is worth a ton of theory. --Friedrich Engels Work like you don't need the money, love like you've never been hurt, and dance like you do when nobody's watching. --Anonymous ************************************************** ********* Father Leo's Daily Meditation SUFFERING "Man cannot remake himself without suffering. For he is both the marble and the sculptor." -- Alexis Carrel I know that I have grown through my sufferings. I know that I am able to understand and forgive other people because I have been there, too. I know that I am patient and considerate because of my sufferings. My anguish keeps me "earthed". It stops me from playing God; it teaches me the reality of life that life hurts! It is wonderful, joyous, loving and eventful, but it also hurts. For many years I hid my sufferings and pretended they were not there; the result was loneliness and hypocrisy. God, may my sufferings keep me real. ************************************************** ********* Oh, what a wonderful God we have! How great are his riches and wisdom and knowledge! How impossible it is for us to understand his decisions and his methods! For who can know what the Lord is thinking? Who knows enough to be his counselor? Romans 11:33-34 May God, who gives this patience and encouragement, help you live in complete harmony with each other, each with the attitude of Christ Jesus toward the other. Then all of you can join together with one voice, giving praise and glory to God, the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ. Romans 15:5-6 For the foolishness of God is wiser than man's wisdom, and the weakness of God is stronger than man's strength. 1 Corinthians 1:25 ************************************************** ********* Daily Inspiration If we focus too much on ourselves and the troubles in our lives, it is very difficult to be happy. Lord, refresh my spirit, help me let go of longing to become something I am not and show me how to be the best of who I am. Open your mind and empty your heart of fears so that you can know and experience God to the fullest. Lord, You are my peace, my assurance and the love that I hold on to. ************************************************** ********* NA Just For Today Membership "There is only one requirement for membership, the desire to stop using." Basic Text pg. 9 We all know people who could benefit from Narcotics Anonymous. Many people we encounter from all walks of life - our family members, old friends, and co-workers - could really use a program of recovery in their lives. Sadly, those who need us don't always find their way to our rooms. NA is a program of attraction, not promotion. We are only members when we say we are. We can bring our friends and loved ones to a meeting if they are willing, but we cannot force them to embrace the way of life that has given us freedom from active addiction. Membership in Narcotics Anonymous is a highly personal decision. The choice to become a member is made in the heart of each individual addict. In the long run, coerced meeting attendance doesn't keep too many addicts in our rooms. Only addicts who are still suffering, if given the opportunity, can decide if they are powerless over their addiction. We can carry the message, but we can't carry the addict. Just for today: I am grateful for my decision to become a member of Narcotics Anonymous. ************************************************** ********* You are reading from the book Today's Gift. To heal ourselves is a reclamation of the power we all have as living beings to live in harmony with the life energy and to fulfill our potential as creatures among many on this planet. --Chellis Glendinning We live in a world that tells us healing only comes from outside ourselves. To some, it may seem odd to think each of us has the ability to heal ourselves. How is this possible? Easy--we can do it if we believe we can. Whatever we believe we cannot do will remain beyond our ability. But believing we can heal ourselves gives us access to many healing ways. Self-acceptance is healing. Singing, playing, walking by a river are healing. Even helping others with their problems can be healing to us. There are as many ways of self-healing as there are people in the world. Once we experience what is healing for us, we can go on to discover many more healing acts to share with others. What healing things do I like to do? You are reading from the book Touchstones. Let nothing disturb you. Let nothing frighten you. Everything passes away except God. --Saint Theresa Learning to detach may be the most demanding and difficult part of this program. Detachment means being filled with closeness and love toward someone, yet knowing we cannot fix or protect that person. It means we can be in emotional contact but don't have to react to someone else's issues. We respond from our own center with what is fitting for us. Being detached means we allow others to be in the hands of God because we cannot live their lives for them. Detachment gives us an inner calm, an acceptance of our limits, and the freedom to live our own lives with integrity. Detachment is a skill in living, and like other skills, we can practice it. Gradually, it becomes a natural response. True detachment takes root and grows within us over a period of time as we deepen our relationship with the Steps and with our Higher Power. Today, I turn to God as my eternal rock for strength in learning to become detached. You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning. Across the fields I can see the radiance of your smile and I know in my heart you are there. But the anguish I am feeling makes the distance so very far to cross. --Deidra Sarault Looking down the hallway of our lives, we sense many uncomfortable corners. And they are there. But through the discomfort comes the ease of understanding. The security that we long for, we discover has been ours all along. All we needed to do was move into the corner--with trust. As we stand before any problems, any new task, any unfamiliar environment, dread may overwhelm us. We stand there alone. But the choice available to us now and always is to invite the spirit of God to share the space we're in. In concert with God's Spirit, no problem or task can be greater than our combined abilities to handle it. Our lives will be eased in direct proportion to our faith that God is there, caring for our every concern, putting before us the experiences we need to grow on. We can let go of our anguish, our doubts and fears. Eternal triumph is ours for the asking. The smiling faces I encounter today--I will let them assure me that all is well. You are reading from the book The Language Of Letting Go. Giving Don't be afraid of giving. For a while, we may need to back off from giving as we learn to discern the difference between healthy giving and caretaking, which leave us feeling victimized and others feeling resentful. This is a temporary spot. To be healthy, to do our part in this spiritual way of life, to be part of the endless cycle of the Universe, guided by our Creator, we need to give and receive. Both parts are important. What is healthy giving? This is a fine lined behavior each of us must seek to understand for ourselves. It is giving that feels good and does not leave us feeling victimized. It is giving that holds the giver and the receiver in high esteem. It is giving based on a desire to do it rather than from a sense of guilt, pity, shame, or obligation. It is giving with no strings attached. Or it is giving based on a clean, direct contract. Whether it is giving our time, efforts, energy, comfort, nurturing, money, or ourselves, it is giving that we can afford. Giving is part of the chain of giving and receiving. We can learn to give in healthy ways; we can learn to give in love. We need to keep an eye on our giving, to make sure it has not crossed the line into caretaking. But we need to learn to give in ways that work for us and others. Today, God, guide me in my giving. Help me give to others in healthy ways. Help me give what feels right, what feels good, what feels clean, and what I can afford. Today I am willing to share all of me with another human being. I am willing to trust that this process will free me from the burdens of my past. I am ready to let go. --Ruth Fishel *************************************** Journey To The Heart Learn to Live with Ambiguity Sometimes, the picture isn’t finished yet. Ideas, possibilities, hopes, dreams float around, circling us like asteroids around a planet. We may think events in our lives are happening aimlessly, without purpose. All we see are disconnected, floating blobs. We reach for them, try to grab them in our hands so we can connect them, force them into a whole, force them into a picture we can see, something that makes sense. Let the pieces be. Let yourself be. Let life be. Sometimes, chaos needs to precede order. The pieces will come together in a picture that makes sense, in a beautiful work of art that pleases. You don’t have to force the pieces to fit together if it’s not time. You don’t have to know. There is power sometimes in not knowing. There is power in letting go. Power is waiting. Power in stillness. Power in trust. There is power in letting the disconnected pieces be until they settle into a whole. The action you are to take will appear. Timely. Clearly. What you’re to do will become clear. Let the pieces be, and they’ll take shape. Soon you’ll see the picture. *************************************** More Language Of Letting Go Let go of afflicted emotional streams Step out of afflicted streams. I was walking through a national park one day when I came upon a stream. I wasn’t looking closely; I decided to step into the water and walk through it to get to the other side. When I looked more closely, I gasped and stood back. The stream was all murky and gross. I didn’t want to wade in it. Most teachers of our times and from times long past– from the Dalai Lama to Emmet Fox– agree on one things: stay away from murky, afflicted emotional streams. Avoid them at all costs. There’s a lot of afflicted streams out there: greed, envy, negativity, regret, revenge, resentment. arrogance, victimization, hard-heartedness, bitterness, control, hatred, resentment, and paralyzing fear are just a few. When we step into an afflicted emotional stream, that emotion colors everything we do. An afflicted stream is more than an isolated emotion. It’s a position, a posture, an attitude, a pattern that will poison us and our lives. Look around. Be aware. Don’t be careless and step into an afflicted stream. If you’ve inadvertently slipped into one, then quickly step out. Feeling restless, irritable, and discontented is definitely an afflicted stream. If you find yourself in that one, step right out into gratitude God, help me let go of my emotions before that feeling becomes a way of life. Guide my thinking and outlook on life. Keep me out of afflicted streams. *************************************** Greeting the Divine Spirit Bowing by Madisyn Taylor Bowing has the quality of consciously evoking spirit and conveys a sense of reverence for the people involved. Bowing is a universal gesture of respect and reverence. In many cultures, it is the predominant form of social greeting, and most religions incorporate it into their rituals of worship. In many cases, bowing signifies not only respect but also an acknowledgment of the shared divinity between the bower and the recipient. Bowing can also be a turning in toward our own divinity when we bow our heads in prayer, contemplation, or meditation. Bows range in form from a slight forward nod of the head to a full body prostration on the ground, and range in meaning from a simple greeting to a complete giving over of the self to the divine. If you have ever bowed or been on the receiving end of a bow, you know that it is different from a handshake or a hug. Bowing has the quality of consciously evoking spirit and conveys a sense of reverence for the people involved. The word “Namaste,” which accompanies bowing in yoga, actually translates as “The divine spirit in me acknowledges the divine spirit in you.” When we greet one another with this kind of awareness, we can’t help but be more conscious that we are deeply connected to one another and to everyone, because this divine spirit resides in all of us. There are simple bows and complicated bows, and subtle variations carry different meanings depending upon where you are, who you are, and a number of other factors. But we can all practice bowing by simply bringing our two hands together in prayer and pressing the thumb side of our hands lightly into our chests. Keeping a long spine, simply bend your head gently down so that you are looking at the tops of your fingers. Close your eyes and breathe consciously, paying homage to your spirit, the same spirit that resides within all of humanity. Published with permission from Daily OM *************************************** A Day At A Time Reflection For The Day A friend in The Program told me of a favorite humn from her childhood: “Open my eyes that I may see glimpses of truth Thou hast for me.” In actuality, that is what The Program has done for me — it has opened my eyes so that I have come to see the true nature of my addiction, as well as the true nature of the joyous life that can be mine if I practice the principles embodied in The Program’s Twelve Steps to recovery. Through prayer and meditation, am I also improving my inner vision, so that I can better see God’s love and power working in me and through me? Today I Pray May each glint of truth that I catch sight of as I work the Steps begin to take on the steadier shine of a fixed star. May I know that these stars are all that I need to chart my course and navigate safely. May I no longer feel the frantic need to put in to every unknown port along the way in search of direction. These stars are always rube ti steer by. Today I Will Remember Find the fixed stars and fix on them. *************************************** One More Day ‘Tis a lesson you should heed, Try, try again. If at first you don’t succeed, Try, try again. – William E. Hickson Our teachers told us to try again. Our parents reminded us to try again. And sometimes we even did try again! Usually it was something simple, like recopying poorly written homework. We hardly realized then that we would be carrying that message with us into adulthood. It’s often difficult to listen to good advice; it’s even harder to accept it. When we learn to reassess our goals, to reset priorities, and to be more realistic about where we are really headed, trying again begins to make more sense. Trying again doesn’t always mean doing it over again. It can mean trying something entirely new. It can mean daring to change. Trying again means I give myself room to grow. ************************************ Food For Thought Accepting Emptiness There will always be times when we feel empty physically empty, emotionally empty, and spiritually empty. Before we found our Higher Power, these periods of emptiness terrified us, and we had to try to fill ourselves up with something, whether it was food, noise, other people, work, or something else. We probably still do not like to feel empty, and yet, through the OA program, we are learning that emptiness can be a good thing. When we are empty of the refined sugars and carbohydrates, which poisoned us, we are full of energy. When we are empty of anger and resentment, we have room for positive feelings of love, joy, and peace. When we are empty of pride and egotism, God can fill us with His power. Our Higher Power is not ours to command. There is no way that we can receive instant consolation and gratification. By accepting our periods of emptiness, however, we open ourselves to growth and to the spirit that fills us according to His purposes. May I be empty of self so that I may be filled with You. ***************************************** One Day At A Time THE PAST "Even God cannot change the past." Agathon (ca. 448–400 BC) (Athenian tragic poet and friend of Euripides and Plato, ancient Greek poet) Each day of recovery, I ask my Higher Power to help me stay focused on today. Although there are things I would like to change about the past, I know that it is not possible. I’ve let myself fall into traps, thinking "If only I had done..." or "If only I’d said..." When I think this way, I find myself wasting a lot of time and feeling bad. This doesn’t seem like healthy recovery thinking. If amends need to be made, then I make them. If not, then I let go of the past. Worrying about the past is not productive. Regret will not fix anything. It will merely keep me from concentrating my efforts on where they belong ... on the present moment. One Day at a Time . . . I will stay focused on what is going on around me and leave the past in the past. Teresa S. ***************************************** AA 'Big Book' - Quote On the other hand - and strange as this may seem to those who do not understand - once a psychic change has occurred, the very same person who seemed doomed, who had so many problems he despaired of ever solving them, suddenly finds himself easily able to control his desire for alcohol, the only effort necessary being that he required to follow a few simple rules. - Pg. xxix - 4th. Edition - The Doctor's Opinion Hour To Hour - Book - Quote KISS. Keep It Simple Stupid. We are not suggesting you are stupid, but your disease is. It will do anything it can to keep you using even though it ultimately means death of itself along with the body. But through following a few SIMPLE suggestions you can release yourself from the stupidity. May I understand that my stupid disease will argue and complicate simple procedures so it can gain a foothold in the confusion it creates. KISS off addiction. Learning My Own Lessons I recognize today that I am in charge of my own learning. Life is constantly offering up circumstances that are useful in my personal growth. I can move through the situation, live it out, extract the wisdom that is in it or I can ignore the lesson and keep repeating the same painful circumstance over and over again in my life. The deepest and most appropriate things I need to learn in life are generally right in front of me. Life is my guru if I can use it as such. It is rich with subtle learning if I look for it. The gift I can give myself today is becoming aware of what life is trying to teach me. My lessons come from my life. - Tian Dayton PhD Pocket Sponsor - Book - Quote At the start of meeting we always ask, 'Is there anybody new or coming back?' We should also ask, 'Is there anybody old and going out?' I remember that the 'still suffering alcoholic' can include old timers too! "Walk Softly and Carry a Big Book" - Book Talk does not cook rice. Time for Joy - Book - Quote Today I'm willing to share all of me with another human being. I'm willing to trust that this process will free me from the burdens of my past. I am ready to let go. Alkiespeak - Book - Quote I thought; 'I won't just read the 4th Step, I'll chant it, like a Greek Tragedy; 'I resent my mother!!' and as I rip the pages out after I chant it, I'll throw it on a fire, signifying the connection between heaven and earth. The smoke and ashes will carry away my sins and my purified soul will be lifted to the heavens.' I didn't mention this to my sponsor, 'cos like I said, he's kind of a rigid guy. So he picks me up and says 'You can start reading now.' And I thought; 'In your Camaro?' - I was going to read the greatest spiritual treatise ever written, in a Camaro? - Chris C.
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December 14
Daily Reflections REACHING OUT Never talk down to an alcoholic from any moral or spiritual hilltop; simply lay out the kit of spiritual tools for his inspection. Show him how they worked with you. ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, p. 95 When I come into contact with a newcomer, do I have a tendency to look at him from my perceived angle of success in A.A.? Do I compare him with the large number of acquaintances I have made in the Fellowship? Do I point out to him in a magisterial way the voice of A.A.? What is my real attitude toward him? I must examine myself whenever I meet a newcomer to make sure that I am carrying the message with simplicity, humility and generosity. The one who still suffers from the terrible disease of alcoholism must find in me a friend who will allow him to get to know the A.A. way, because I had such a friend when I arrived in A.A. Today it is my turn to hold out my hand, with love, to my sister or brother alcoholic, and to show her or him the way to happiness. ************************************************** ********* Twenty-Four Hours A Day A.A. Thought For The Day The way of A.A. is the way of service. Without that, it would not work. We have been "on the wagon" and hated it. We have taken the pledge and waited for the time to be up with impatience. We have tried in all manner of ways to help ourselves. But not until we begin to help other people do we get full relief. It is an axiom that the A.A. program has to be given away in order to be kept. A river flows into the Dead Sea and stops. A river flows into a clear pool and flows out again. We get and then we give. If we do not give, we do not keep. Have I given up all ideas of holding A.A. for myself alone? Meditation For The Day Try to see the life of the spirit as a calm place, shut away from the turmoil of the world. Think of your spiritual home as a place full of peace, serenity, and contentment. Go to this quiet, meditative place for the strength to carry you through today's duties and problems. Keep coming back here for refreshment when you are weary of the hubbub of the outside world. From this quietness and communion comes our strength. Prayer For The Day I pray that I may keep this resting place where I can commune with God. I pray that I may find refreshment in meditation on the Eternal. ************************************************** ********* As Bill Sees It After the "Honeymoon", p. 216 "For most of us, the first years of A.A. are something like a honeymoon. There is a new and potent reason to stay alive, joyful activity aplenty. For a time, we are diverted from the main life problems. That is all to the good. "But when the honeymoon has worn off, we are obliged to take our lumps, like other people. This is where the testing starts. Maybe the group has pushed us onto the side lines. Maybe difficulties have intensified at home, or in the world outside. Then the old behavior patterns reappear. How well we recognize and deal with them reveals the extent of our progress." ******************************** The wise have always known that no one can make much of his life until self-searching becomes a regular habit, until he is able to admit and accept what he finds, and until he patiently and persistently tries to correct what is wrong. 1. Letter, 1954 2. 12 & 12, p. 88 ************************************************** ********* Walk In Dry Places The best of the Past Living today. We're told that we should forget the past when we come into AA. Since we can't change it, we should not waste time and energy reliving it. Let's be careful, however, not to take this advice too literally. There was much in our past that was good, even when we were drinking. We have a right and a need to treasure these important things. The real dangers of living in the past come either from brooding about its mistakes or from thinking that our best days are already behind us. We can think of the past as a foundation for the good we expect today and in all the days ahead. I'll preserve the best in my memories of the past, knowing that these helped bring me to my present state of recovery. ************************************************** ********* Keep It Simple Hold fast to dreams for if dreams die, life is broken winged bird that cannot fly. --Langston Hughes Many of our dreams died as our addiction got worse. We felt the loss but couldn't speak it. With recovery, we regain our ability to dream. Dreams of sharing our lives with family and friends return. They push out thoughts of getting high. Dreams of pride and self-respect reappear. They replace the awful feeling of shame. Like the quote above says, "Hold fast to dreams...." Our dreams are our wishes for the future. They hold a picture of who we want to be. In our dreams, we let our spirits soar. Often, we fell close to God, others and ourselves. Thanks God, we can dream again. Prayer for the Day: Higher Power, thanks to you, my wings have been mended. Guide me as I fly. Action for the Day: Today, I'll take time out to dream and share my dream with those I love. ************************************************** ********* Each Day a New Beginning A theme may seem to have been put aside, but it keeps returning--the same thing modulated, somewhat changed in form. --Muriel Rukeyser No struggle we have is really new. It's another shade of the struggle that plagued us last week or perhaps last year. And we'll stumble again and again until we learn to quit struggling. The trying situations at work, or the personality type that irritates us, will always exist. But when we've come to accept as good and growth-enhancing all situations and all persons, we'll sense the subtle absence of struggle. We'll realize that the person we couldn't tolerate has become a friend. The situation we couldn't handle is resolved, forever. The lessons we need to learn keep presenting themselves, until we've finished the homework. If we sense a struggle today, we can look at it as an assignment, one that is meant for our growth. We can remember that our struggles represent our opportunities to grow. Fortunately, the program has given us a tutor. We have a willing teacher to help us. We need to move on, to be open to other assignments. No problem will be too much for us to handle. I will enjoy my role as student today. I will be grateful for all opportunities to grow. They make possible my very special contribution in this life. ************************************************** ********* Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition Chapter 9 - The Family Afterwards Suppose we tell you some of the obstacles a family will meet; suppose we suggest how they may be avoided—even converted to good use for others. The family of an alcoholic longs for the return of happiness and security. They remember when father was romantic, thoughtful and successful. Today’s life is measured against that of other years and, when it falls short, the family may be unhappy. p. 123 ************************************************** ********* Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition Stories TWICE GIFTED - Diagnosed with cirrhosis, this sick alcoholic got sobriety--plus a lifesaving liver transplant. Some years have passed, and as I look back from the clarity of this moment, I know that the way here for me could not have been by an easier path. I would not willingly have stopped the course my life was on. I needed harsh reality to see the damage that alcohol abuse causes, in so many ways. I needed to be forced into acceptance and humility. p. 475 ************************************************** ********* Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions Step Five - "Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs." Perhaps, though, your relation to him is such that you would care to reveal only a part of your story. If this is the situation, by all means do so, for you ought to make a beginning as soon as you can. It may turn out, however, that you'll choose someone else for the more difficult and deeper revelations. This individual may be entirely outside of A.A.--for example, your clergyman or your doctor. For some of us, a complete stranger may prove the best bet. p. 61 ************************************************** ********* In order to keep a true perspective of one's importance, everyone should have a dog that will worship him and a cat that will ignore him. --Dereke Bruce "Life is short, and we have never too much time for gladdening the hearts of those who are traveling the dark journey with us. Oh, be swift to love, make haste to be kind." --Henri Frederic Amiel "The human spirit rings with hope at the sound of an encouraging word. --unknown "Many a good man has failed because he had his wishbone where his backbone should have been." --Unknown The first step identifies the problem, the remaining eleven steps are the solution. The first tradition identifies the problem, the remaining eleven traditions are how we do that. --unknown "Every situation can be a positive situation if you look upon it as an opportunity for growth and self-improvement." --Brian Tracy "Step into a new you each day. Reach out to greater health, happiness, fitness, friendship, love and greater pride in yourself." --Mark Victor Hansen Every recovery from alcoholism began with one sober hour. Life didn't end when I got sober -- it started. H E A L = Helping Every Alcoholic Live. Take a walk with God. He will meet you at the Steps. ************************************************** ********* Father Leo's Daily Meditation GOD "My God, my God, why hast thou forsaken me." -- Jesus (Matthew 27:46) In my sickness I was often angry at God. Angry that He did not do what I wanted Him to do when I wanted Him to do it. I was a spoiled child. I refused to understand that suffering could be an important part of my spiritual growth. Today I know this to be true. The biggest part of my suffering, then and today, is the feeling of isolation. Not knowing for certain that He hears me. Not understanding completely what His will is for me. Not getting clear answers to my daily confusion. The doubt is part of the faith. The "not knowing" is the answer. Lord, may the daily doubts lead to a creative faith. ************************************************** ********* "All things work together for good to them that love God." Romans 8:28 "Have I not commanded you? Be strong and of good courage; do not be afraid, nor be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go." Joshua 1:9 "Seek the LORD and live." Amos 5:6a ************************************************** ********* Daily Inspiration Laughter is a speedy way to bring people together, build friendships and reduce stresses. Lord, help me participate in the many opportunities to feel the calming effect of laughter. It is good to know where you are, but better to know where you are going. Lord, may I use every day to grow closer to You. ************************************************** ********* NA Just For Today Addiction, Drugs, And Recovery "Addiction is a physical, mental, and spiritual disease that affects every area of our lives." Basic Text pg. 20 Before we started using, most of us had a stereotype, a mental image of what addicts were supposed to look like. Some of us pictured a junkie robbing convenience markets for drug money. Others imagined a paranoid recluse peering at life from behind perpetually drawn drapes and locked doors. As long as we didn't fit any of the stereotypes, we thought, we couldn't be addicts. As our using progressed, we discarded those misconceptions about addiction, only to come up with another: the idea that addiction was about drugs. We may have thought addiction meant a physical habit, believing any drug that didn't produce physical habituation was not "addictive." Or we thought the drugs we took were causing all our problems. We thought that merely getting rid of the drugs would restore sanity to our lives. One of the most important lessons we learn in Narcotics Anonymous is that addiction is much more than the drugs we used. Addiction is a part of us; it's an illness that involves every area of our lives, with or without drugs. We can see its effects on our thoughts, our feelings, and our behavior, even after we stop using. Because of this, we need a solution that works to repair every area of our lives: the Twelve Steps. Just for today: Addiction is not a simple disease, but it has a simple solution. Today, I will live in that solution: the Twelve Steps of recovery. ************************************************** ********* You are reading from the book Today's Gift. Each day comes bearing its gifts. Untie the ribbons. --Ann Ruth Schabacker Today will be filled with surprises, big ones and small ones, like the gifts at a birthday party. Maybe we'll see a friend we haven't seen for a while. Or we'll find something we thought was lost. Whatever happens today will be special, and is meant to help us grow in just the right way. Growing up doesn't always feel easy. We're expected to be more responsible and thoughtful of others. We're expected to be honest about our feelings and needs. If we're angry or scared, we need to tell someone. Sharing our secret about being afraid relieves us of the fear, and we feel lighter, happier, like after opening a special gift. When I receive today's gifts, will I stop to appreciate them? You are reading from the book Touchstones. No matter how old you get, if you can keep the desire to be creative, you're keeping the man-child alive. --John Cassavetes Creation is the work of God. It is not given to most of us to be famous artists. But the spiritual experience of being creative is open to us when we take on a creative attitude toward what we are doing. We might do this on the job when we determine to do more than just get the job done. We may decide to have fun while we do what needs to be done, or we may decide to put our best spirit into the work before us. Some men find creativity in working with wood, others in coaching sports with children, someone else in cooking, and another in community service. Being creative moves us toward wholeness as people. As we create on the outside, we are being created on the inside. The way in which we live every aspect of our lives is a creative, growing process and a partnership with God. As I approach this day, I will have an attitude of creativity that will nurture the wondering child within me. You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning. A theme may seem to have been put aside, but it keeps returning--the same thing modulated, somewhat changed in form. --Muriel Rukeyser No struggle we have is really new. It's another shade of the struggle that plagued us last week or perhaps last year. And we'll stumble again and again until we learn to quit struggling. The trying situations at work, or the personality type that irritates us, will always exist. But when we've come to accept as good and growth-enhancing all situations and all persons, we'll sense the subtle absence of struggle. We'll realize that the person we couldn't tolerate has become a friend. The situation we couldn't handle is resolved, forever. The lessons we need to learn keep presenting themselves, until we've finished the homework. If we sense a struggle today, we can look at it as an assignment, one that is meant for our growth. We can remember that our struggles represent our opportunities to grow. Fortunately, the program has given us a tutor. We have a willing teacher to help us. We need to move on, to be open to other assignments. No problem will be too much for us to handle. I will enjoy my role as student today. I will be grateful for all opportunities to grow. They make possible my very special contribution in this life. You are reading from the book The Language Of Letting Go. Clear Thinking Strive for clear thinking. Many of us have had our thinking clouded by denial. Some of us have even lost faith in ourselves because we've spent a degree of time in denial. But losing faith in our thinking isn't going to help us. What we need to lose faith in is denial. We didn't resort to denial - either of someone else's problem or our own - because we were deficient. Denial, the shock absorber for the soul, protects us until we are equipped to cope with reality. Clear thinking and recovery don't mean we will never resort to denial. Denial is the first step toward acceptance, and for most of our life, we will be striving to accept something. Clear thinking means we don't allow ourselves to become immersed in negativity or unrealistic expectations. We stay connected to other recovering people. We go to our meetings, where peace of mind and realistic support are available. We work the Steps, pray, and meditate. We keep our thinking on track by asking our Higher Power to help us think clearly - not by expecting Him, or someone else, to do our thinking for us. Today, I will strive for balanced, clear thought in all areas of my life. Today I can look back with love in my heart, knowing that every moment, every experience of my life has been necessary, valuable and significant. --Ruth Fishel *************************************** Journey To The Heart Open Your Heart to Universal Love We live in a magical, living, vital, and personal universe, a world where universal love is real. We don’t just live in it, we’re part of it, visibly and tangibly connected to it. The phone call that comes at the right time. A book that teaches us what we need to know. A movie that has the message we need to guide us and open our hearts. An opportunity that arises, at just the right moment. An idea triggered by something someone says or an object we didn’t notice before. The more we open to universal love, the more it will be there for us, embracing, loving, holding, guiding us. The more we learn to see it, the more it will be there– until we wonder why we never saw it before. Open your heart to universal love. It’s more than merely there. It’s there for you. Jump into the arms of a living, magical world and you leap into the arms of universal love. See how real it can be. *************************************** More Language Of Letting Go You’re not a survivor anymore Many years ago, I asked a fellow therapist what the one thing was that hallmarked the unhappy state of being many of us have come to label as codependency. “It’s the Karpman Drama Triangle,” he said. “People rescue someone by doing something they don’t want to do, or it’s not their business to do. Then they get angry and persecute the person. Then they walk away, feeling like a victim. Again.” A light when on in that moment. Like a gerbil on a wheel, I could see myself spinning around this triangle. I was regularly rescuing somebody, then getting angry, and ultimately feeling victimized by it all. I was creating the pain and the drama in my life. Over the years, I stopped rescuing alcoholics. Many of us have gotten off that painful wheel. We know we can’t control another person’s chemical dependency, depression, problems, or life. But we may have stepped off that wheel and gotten ourselves into another more subtle drama spin. A friend recently cleaned our his entire house– closets, garage, drawers. He had to hire a truck to come and take everything away. “I can’t believe everything I collected and hung onto,” he said. “Most of it was junk that I didn’t want in the first place. I guess that came from being poor and going without for so long. I convinced myself that if it was free or cheap, I’d better grab it and take it home.” Many of us were survivors at one time. We either genuinely didn’t have a choice or convinced ourselves we didn’t. So we clung to whoever and whatever came along our path. You may have survived what you went through, but you’re not a survivor anymore. There is no need to desperately cling to whatever comes along. You’re living now. You’re living fully and freely. Choose what you want. God, help me give myself permission to walk a path with heart. *************************************** People in Need Taking Our Turn to Give by Madisyn Taylor The greatest gift we can give to somebody in need is giving awareness and without judgment. When we see a person in need, we may want to give them something as a way of helping them, but if we give without taking the time to see who they really are, honoring that most of all, our gift is nowhere near as powerful as it could be. We may want to give a homeless person a sandwich, for example, but if we give it without also taking a moment to look the person in the eye, making authentic contact, we rob them of the experience of being human. Being in a position of need leaves a lot of people feeling vulnerable and full of self-doubt. The greatest gift we can give is to meet people in need without judgment and with the awareness that we are not superior to them simply because we are not currently in their position. If we take the long view, we can see that we all began life in need of a lot of care and attention, and many of us end life in the same way. Giving and receiving are companion energies that take turns throughout our lives, and we all get a chance to be on both sides of the exchange from time to time. It’s important to be aware of our own tendency to give from a desire to feel good about ourselves, rather than from an acknowledgement of our connection to all people. Letting go of our self-importance allows us to see that, regardless of appearances, we are all givers and receivers. When we are in the position of the giver, we honor those we are helping when we remember the many people who have helped us. Then we can look the person we are helping in the eye, aware that we are making contact with a human being who is our equal. Published with permission from Daily OM *************************************** A Day At A Time Reflection For The Day Some of us in The Program are inclined to make the mistake of thinking that the few moments we spend in prayer and meditation — in “talking to God” — are all that count. The truth is that the attitude we maintain throughou7t the entire day is just as important. If we place ourselves in God’s hands in the morning, and throughout the day hold ourselves ready to accept His will as it is made known through the events of our daily life, our attitude of acceptance becomes a constant prayer. Can I try to cultivate an attitude of total acceptance each day? Today I Pray May I maintain contact with my Higher Power all through my day, not just check in for a prayer now and then. May my communion with God never become merely a casual aside. May I come to know that every time I do something that is in accord with God’s will I am living a prayer. Today I Will Remember Prayer is an attitude. *************************************** One More Day I am just a heartbeat away from loneliness. – Laura Palmer The holiday season can be difficult for anyone who has had a major life change. A person who has been widowed, has moved, or has had to deal with new physical limitations may become lonesome when each holiday, birthday, or anniversary rolls around. We sometimes cause ourselves pain by isolating ourselves. We may feel that no one wants to share the holiday with us or that we don’t wish to impose the inconvenience of illness upodn friends. By reminding ourselves of the meaning of these special days, we often find that we can move out of our isolation. Holidays and other occasions reaffirm the value of tradition, love, and family. These days compel us to remember our place within a welcoming circle of friends and family. I can choose to reach out during the holidays — or any day. ************************************ Food For Thought Open Hands If our hands are tightly clenched, we cannot receive anything with them. In order to benefit from the OA program, we have to let go of whatever we are hanging on to, open ourselves to the program, and be willing to receive. We open our hands to the hands extended in fellowship by our new friends. We open our minds and hearts to new ideas, new truth, and new feelings. We cannot receive the new way of life if we are closed and unwilling to change. Much of what we hear at meetings may sound strange in the beginning, but if we are receptive, it gradually makes sense. There is nothing about this program, which is impossible for any one of us. All that is required is the desire to stop eating compulsively and the willingness to learn how. If we are having trouble with abstinence, it may be because we are hanging on to old ways and have closed our hands, refusing to take certain parts of the program. Our Higher Power extends to us the tools of recovery through the OA program. All we have to do is open our hands, firmly grasp these tools, and use them. I open my hands to receive Your gifts. ***************************************** One Day At A Time ~CHANGE~ To keep our faces toward change and behave like free spirits in the presence of fate is strength undefeatable. Helen Keller As far back as I can remember, I have always been fearful of change. I preferred to stay in my comfort zone, even when it became uncomfortable or painful. I suppose that was why I stayed in the disease for so long; it was what I knew. It was safe and predictable and I didn't have to deal with painful emotions such as loss and rejection. This was also why I stayed so long in a bad marriage; I was terrified of what was outside the walls of my dysfunctional relationship. In truth, I didn't really live, because fear of change prevented me from forming new relationships and doing new and exciting things. Even the move from one city to another was totally traumatic, because the old and familiar was what I knew, not because it was better. Even then, I spent so long looking at the closed door behind me that I failed to see the open door in front of me. I know now that even when I fear change, I need only put one foot in front of the other, and do what is before me. Because I now have faith that my Higher Power will be with me every step of the way, I need only ask for help, and the help comes. Even though it still is not easy, I am aware of how many changes I have been able to make with the help of my Higher Power. In the past, I spent so much time obsessing about the outcome that I talked myself out of the change I was thinking of making. The biggest change that has happened for me is my newfound faith which enables me to take that leap into the unknown. There have been other miraculous changes too. Now I have a more open and honest relationship with my children and others because I am able to take more risks and set boundaries, which I had never been able to do before. I have changed careers, undertaken flying overseas on my own, and in general am not the scared person I used to be. I also have a whole new family of wonderful friends in this fellowship who understand me and love me always. One Day at a Time . . . I continue to grow and change as God wills me to do, and I will not be afraid because I know that He will always be there to guide and help me. Sharon S. ***************************************** AA 'Big Book' - Quote My friend had emphasized the absolute necessity of demonstrating these principles in all my affairs. Particularly was it imperative to work with others as he had worked with me. Faith without works was dead, he said. And how appallingly true for the alcoholic! For if an alcoholic failed to perfect and enlarge his spiritual life through work and self-sacrifice for others, he could not survive the certain trials and low spots ahead. If he did not work, he would surely drink again, and if he drank, he would surely die. Then faith would be dead indeed. With us it is just like that. - Pgs. 14-15 - Bill's Story Hour To Hour - Book - Quote We can never get enough of what we really do not want. We don't really want drugs, we want what we hope they'll bring us, wholeness, satisfaction, escape from pain. God, as I understand You, let me see what I really want. Spirit Calls Spirit calls to me within and without. In a still, small voice I sense spirit whispering in my inner ear. My body feels an increasing sense of aliveness as I invite spirit to make itself known to me. I do not even need to make room for spirit, because spirit breathes in each pore within me. It fills the numbness with energy. It fills the emptiness and causes my cup to overflow with its presence. There are gifts in listening if I am willing to sense, hear and see them, lessons I can learn. Little hints that help me to appreciate what I already have and open myself to experiencing more. I will look for evidence of spirit at work in my life - Tian Dayton PhD Pocket Sponsor - Book - Quote There is no completion for the circle of recovery. A circle has no beginning and no end. It is suggested that recovery begins when you have learned enough from those before you and pass it along to those behind. Love is the process that keeps the circle moving. Standing hand in hand or arm in arm after a meeting I absorb the love that travels our circle of recovery. "Walk Softly and Carry a Big Book" - Book To the desolate alcoholic, the act of kindness can be the difference between getting 'better' or getting 'bitter.' Time for Joy - Book - Quote Today I can look back with love in my heart, knowing that every moment, every experience of my life has been necessary, valuable and significant. Alkiespeak - Book - Quote Using will power to control drinking is about as effective as using will power on diarrhea. - Steve M.
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December 15
Daily Reflections DOING ANYTHING TO HELP Offer him [the alcoholic] friendship and fellowship. Tell him that if he wants to get well you will do anything to help. ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, p. 95 I remember how attracted I was to the two men from A.A. who Twelfth-Stepped me. They said I could have what they had, with no conditions attached, that all I had to do was make my own decision to join them on the pathway to recovery. When I start convincing a newcomer to do things my way, I forget how helpful those two men were to me in their open-minded generosity. ************************************************** ********* Twenty-Four Hours A Day A.A. Thought For The Day Service to others makes the world a good place. Civilization would cease if all of us were always and only for ourselves. We alcoholics have a wonderful opportunity to contribute to the well-being of the world. We have a common problem. We find a common answer. We are uniquely equipped to help others with the same problem. What a wonderful world it would be if everybody took their own greatest problem and found the answer to it and spent the rest of their lives helping others with the same problem, in their spare time. Soon we would have the right kind of a world. Do I appreciate my unique opportunity to be of service? Meditation For The Day Today can be lived in the consciousness of God's contact, upholding you in all good thoughts, words and deeds. If sometimes there seems to be a shadow on your life and you feel out of sorts, remember that this is not the withdrawal of God's presence, but only your own temporary unwillingness to realize it. The quiet gray days are the days for doing what you must do, but know that the consciousness of God's nearness will return and be with you again, when the gray days are past. Prayer For The Day I pray that I may face the dull days with courage. I pray that I may have faith that the bright days will return. ************************************************** ********* As Bill Sees It A.A. In Two Words, p.271 "All A.A. progress can be reckoned in terms of just two words: humility and responsibility. Our whole spiritual development can be accurately measured by our degree of adherence to these magnificent standards. "Ever deepening humility, accompanied by an ever greater willingness to accept and to act upon clear-cut obligations--these are truly our touchstones for all growth in the life of the spirit. They hold up to us the very essence of right being and right doing. It is by them that we are enabled to find and to do God's will." Talk, 1965 (Printed In Grapevine, January 1966) ************************************************** ********* Walk In Dry Places Watching our boundaries. Personal relationships Setting boundaries in personal relationships is how we manage actions that could otherwise get out of control. One firm boundary in AA, for example, is maintaining other members' anonymity, as well as our own. We are always overstepping boundaries if we disclose another's AA membership without permission. It's wise, too, not to expect the easy familiarity of the meetings to carry over into all other activities. One member who was employed by another AA member apparently wondered why his boss was so easygoing and cordial at AA meetings and so remote and businesslike in the factory. It made perfect sense, however; their relationship in the plant was different from their AA relationship and required another set of boundaries. We can protect ourselves and others by being careful to establish proper boundaries for all relationships. This means that what's appropriate for one setting may not be for another. I'll check to be sure that I'm observing proper boundaries, for myself and others. I must not violate others' rights any more than I want my own violated. ************************************************** ********* Keep It Simple As ass is beautiful to an ass, and a pig to a pig.-- English proverb. When we see someone drunk and out of control, can we see the beautiful person inside them? If we can't, who will? Step Twelve reminds us that we have to help the alcoholic or other drug addict who suffers. This task has been given to us because we, most of all, should be able to look past the drunkenness and see the person. We were there. We know what it's like to be trapped in a world without meaning. If these memories have faded, we may need to go back over Step One. We may find ourselves angry with the practicing drunk or other drug addict. This is a sign that we have gotten too far from our past. Remember, "But for the grace of God..." Prayer for the Day: Higher Power, Help me remember my past and what it's like now. This helps me care about the person who still suffers. Action for the Day: Today, I'll respect my illness. I'll look for the beauty inside every drunk and other drug addict. ************************************************** ********* Each Day a New Beginning Happiness is a form of freedom, and of all people I should be the freest. I've earned this happiness and this freedom. --Angela L. Wozniak Life is a process, and we are progressing beautifully. We are no longer abusing our bodies and minds with drugs. We are taking special time, daily, to look for guidance. We are working the Steps of the program, better and better as the abstinent days add up. We are free from past behaviors. And we can be free from our negative attitudes too. Making a decision to look for the good in our experiences and in our friends and acquaintances frees us from so much frustration. It ushers in happiness, no only for us but for the others we are treating agreeably. Happiness is a byproduct of living the right kind of life. We can take a moment today, each time an action is called for, to consider our response. The one that squares with our inner selves and feels good, is the right one. Happiness will accompany it. Happiness is always within my power. My attitude is at the helm. ************************************************** ********* Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition Chapter 9 - The Family Afterwards Family confidence in dad is rising high. The good old days will soon be back, they think. Sometimes they demand that dad bring them back instantly! God, they believe, almost owes this recompense on a long overdue account. But the head of the house has spent years in pulling down the structures of business, romance, friendship, health—these things are now ruined or damaged. It will take time to clear away the wreck. Though the old buildings will eventually be replaced by finer ones, the new structures will take years to complete. p. 123 ************************************************** ********* Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition Stories TWICE GIFTED - Diagnosed with cirrhosis, this sick alcoholic got sobriety--plus a lifesaving liver transplant. My physical being has certainly undergone a transformation, but the major transformation has been spiritual. The hopelessness has been replaced by abundant hope and sincere faith. The people of Alcoholics Anonymous have provided a haven where, if I remain aware and keep my mind quiet long enough, my Higher Power leads me to amazing realizations. I find joy in my daily life, in being of service, in simply being. I have found rooms full of wonderful people, and for me each and every one of the Big Book's promises have come true. The things that I have learned from my own experience, from the Big Book, and from my friends in A.A.---patience, acceptance, honesty, humility, and true faith in a Power greater than myself---are the tools I use today to live my life, this precious life. Today my life is filled with miracles big and small, not one of which would ever have come to pass had I not found the doors of Alcoholics Anonymous. p. 475 ************************************************** ********* Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions Step Five - "Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs." The real tests of the situation are your own willingness to confide and your full confidence in the one with whom you share your first accurate self-survey. Even when you've found the person, it frequently takes great resolution to approach him or her. No one ought to say the A.A. program requires no willpower; here is one place you may require all you've got. Happily, though, the chances are that you will be in for a very pleasant surprise. When your mission is carefully explained, and it is seen by the recipient of your confidence how helpful he can really be, the conversation will start easily and will soon become eager. Before long, your listener may well tell a story or two about himself which will place you even more at ease. Provided you hold back nothing, your sense of relief will mount from minute to minute. The dammed-up emotions of years break out of their confinement, and miraculously vanish as soon as they are exposed. As the pain subsides, a healing tranquillity takes its place. And when humility and serenity are so combined, something else of great moment is apt to occur. Many an A.A., once agnostic or atheistic, tells us that it was during this stage of Step Five that he first actually felt the presence of God. And even those who had faith already often become conscious of God as they never were before. pp. 61-62 ************************************************** ********* Too often we under estimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around. --Leo Buscaglia He who speaks sows, and he who listens harvests. --Argentinean Proverb God is my compass, may I follow direction. --Shelley "Don't dwell on what went wrong. Instead, focus on what to do next. Spend your energies on moving forward toward finding the answer." --Denis Waitley "The problem is not that there are problems. The problem is expecting otherwise and thinking that having problems is a problem." --Theodore Rubin ************************************************** ********* Father Leo's Daily Meditation POVERTY "The poor you always have with you." -- Jesus (John 12:8) Whoever said that life was going to be easy? A great number of people are placed in circumstances that are beyond their control and they die in helpless poverty. The poor are always with us. I cannot understand this dilemma and I have few answers for most of the world's suffering. However, I have a faith in God's love being realized beyond the grave for everyone. But many of "the poor" are spiritually destitute by their own making. They choose to live lives that are consistently destructive and they refuse to change. Alcoholics and drug addicts are committing suicide by their lifestyle! I know because for years I was one. This produces a spiritual poverty that need not remain. This is a poverty that can be overcome. Recovery is finding the hidden treasure that is within. Let me find Your treasure in the loving care I give myself. ************************************************** ********* Now may the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, that you may abound in hope by the power of the Holy Spirit. Romans 15:13 "Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort; who comforts us in all our affliction so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any affliction with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God. For just as the sufferings of Christ are ours in abundance, so also our comfort is abundant through Christ." 2 Corinthians 1:3-5 "No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it." I Corinthians 10:13 ************************************************** ********* Daily Inspiration Add excitement to the day by meeting everything as though it is your very first time. Lord, give me the ability to change the ordinary into something special, to do more than just slide through the moments of the day and take time to notice that my life really is terrific most of the time. We have two ends; one for sitting and one for thinking. My success depends on which one I use more. Lord, grant me the determination and the necessary energy that I need to accomplish my goals for today and for my future. ************************************************** ********* NA Just For Today The Joy Of Sharing "There is a spiritual principle of giving away what we have been given in Narcotics Anonymous in order to keep it. By helping others to stay clean, we enjoy the benefit of the spiritual wealth that we have found." Basic Text pg. 47 Time and again in our recovery, others have freely shared with us what was freely shared with them. Perhaps we were the recipients of a Twelfth Step call. Maybe someone picked us up and took us to our first meeting. It could be that someone bought us dinner when we were new. All of us have been given time, attention, and love by our fellow members. We may have asked someone, "What can I do to repay you?" And the answer we received was probably a suggestion that we do the same for a newer member when we were able. As we maintain our clean time and recovery, we find ourselves wanting to do for others the things that someone did for us, and happy that we can. If we heard the message while in a hospital or institution, we can join our local H&I subcommittee. Perhaps we can volunteer on the NA help line. Or we can give of our time, attention, and love to a newcomer we are trying to help. We've been given much in our recovery. One of the greatest of these gifts is the privilege of sharing with others what's been shared with us, with no expectation of reward. It's a joy to find we have something that can be of use to others, and that joy is multiplied when we share it. Today we can do so, freely and gratefully. Just for today: I have been given much in my recovery, and I am deeply grateful for it. I will take joy in being able to share it with others as freely as it was shared with me. ************************************************** ********* You are reading from the book Today's Gift. Great symphonies begin with just one note. --Priscilla Young Pratt Sometimes it's really hard to get going. We put off things we don't want to do, or are afraid to try. We occasionally feel overwhelmed by the size of a job to be done like cleaning out the cellar or reading a long book for a class. But think a minute. If Beethoven had thought about how complicated it was to write his Ninth Symphony, with all those instruments and voices and notes to blend together, do we really think he would ever have started? But he didn't get overwhelmed. He sat down and wrote just one small note, and then another, and a third. It took him months, but writing one note led to a second, and, one note at a time, he completed it. We begin the same way with whatever tasks we have ahead of us. Each tiny bit of progress helps us go on to the next part. We begin by reading one page of that book, or taking one box of junk from the cellar. That's all we have to do. The rest will follow almost on its own. The trick is to begin. What needs to be done today, and how do I start? You are reading from the book Touchstones. My mother was dead for five years before I knew that I loved her very much. --Lillian Hellman Each day it helps us to remember that we are always changing. Whatever is most clear to us today or is most prominent in our feelings - the difficulties we may be having with parents, wives or lovers, the worries we have about our children - is a part of an unfolding of events we cannot foresee. Just when we think we know exactly the direction things are going, they surprise us with change. Relationships continue to evolve and mature as we do. Even when separated from loved ones, our relationships may improve because we continue to grow. Our task for this day is to be honest with ourselves, to be respectful to others, and to stay open to our Higher Power. Continuing to go forward, we put one foot in front of the other. We are changing internally, and circumstances around us are changing too. We remain hopeful for the future because outcomes are in the hands of God. I cannot predict the direction of my growth. I will simply remain true to myself today and stay open for surprises. You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning. Happiness is a form of freedom, and of all people I should be the freest. I've earned this happiness and this freedom. --Angela L. Wozniak Life is a process, and we are progressing beautifully. We are no longer abusing our bodies and minds with drugs. We are taking special time, daily, to look for guidance. We are working the Steps of the program, better and better as the abstinent days add up. We are free from past behaviors. And we can be free from our negative attitudes too. Making a decision to look for the good in our experiences and in our friends and acquaintances frees us from so much frustration. It ushers in happiness, no only for us but for the others we are treating agreeably. Happiness is a byproduct of living the right kind of life. We can take a moment today, each time an action is called for, to consider our response. The one that squares with our inner selves and feels good, is the right one. Happiness will accompany it. Happiness is always within my power. My attitude is at the helm. You are reading from the book The Language Of Letting Go. Feelings It's okay to have and feel our feelings - all of them. Years into recovery, we may still be battling with ourselves about this issue. Of all the prohibitions we've lived with, this one is potentially the most damaging and the most long-lived. Many of us needed to shut down the emotional part of ourselves to survive certain situations. We shut down the part of us that feels anger, sadness, fear, joy, and love. We may have turned off our sexual or sensual feelings too. Many of us lived in systems with people who refused to tolerate our emotions. We were shamed or reprimanded for expressing feelings, usually by people who were taught to repress their own. But times have changed. It is okay now for us to acknowledge and accept our emotions. We don't need to allow our emotions to control us; neither do we need to allow our emotions to control us; neither do we need to rigidly repress our feelings. Our emotional center is a valuable part of us. It's connected to our physical well being, our thinking, and our spirituality. Our feelings are also connected to that great gift, instinct. They enable us to give and receive love. We are neither weak nor deficient for indulging in our feelings. It means we're becoming healthy and whole. Today, I will allow myself to recognize and accept whatever feelings pass through me. Without shame, I will tune in to the emotional part of myself. Today I am experiencing all of my life. It is exciting to be alive in each moment. written by ~ Ruth Fishel *************************************** Journey To The Heart Awaken Your Life Force The Chinese call it chi. The Japanese,ki. It refers to energy, the life force, the Divine spirit of life that permeates all that is. That permeates you. Awaken your life force. Do things that stimulate it, bring it alive. Walk on the ground with your bare feet and let the earth’s energy surge through you. Reach your hands toward the heavens and let Divine energy come down to you. Move around. Release the blocks.Feel. Love. Sing. Shout. Come alive. Discover what it means to become vital and fully alive. Feel the life force surge through you, up through your legs, your spine, your head. Feel it wash down upon you through your arms, your torso, down through your toes and into the ground, rooting you to this planet like a tree. Know you have roots. Know you have branches. Fill yourself with chi. Fill yourself until you feel vital, alive. Feel it until you become happy and joyful, grateful to be alive on this planet. Feel it until you know you are one with God, one with life, one with love. Feel it until you see how connected you are with all that lives. *************************************** More Language Of Letting Go Fall in love with life I was sitting in the chair at the beauty shop getting my hair cut one day and listening to my beautician chatter away. She showed me a picture of one of her friends, a woman who had gotten married and recently had a baby girl. “She’s been so in love since that child was born,” she said, showing me a picture of the new mother’s smiling face. “In love with her husband?” I asked. “No,” she said. “Well, that,too. I mean in love with life.” Have you ever been in love, had your heart best fast when you anticipated the call of your lover, felt the way the sun felt warmer on your face, the sky appeared bluer, the clouds more fluffy, and the sunset more grand? What if you could fall in love with your life and feel that way each day? I’m not saying romantic relationships are bad. They’re not. They’re part of being human and getting our needs met. But what if we could take all that passion and focus it into falling in love with life? Maybe that is what is meant by universal love. Maybe that’s the part we give back. Fall in love with your life today. God, help me feel passionate about my life and all the possibilities that stretch out before me. *************************************** Focused Value Quality Vs. Quantity We live in an age of quantity. The media shapes us with the notion that larger, faster, and more are often synonymous with better. We are told that we need to find more time, more possessions, and more love to be truly happy. A smaller quantity of anything that is high in quality will almost always be more satisfying. A single piece of our favorite chocolate or a thin spread of freshly made preserves can satisfy us more than a full bucket of a product that we aren’t very fond of. Similarly, one fulfilling experience can eclipse many empty moments strung together. It is not the quantity of time that matters, but the quality that you experience during each moment. Every minute is an opportunity to love yourself and others, develop confidence and self-respect, and exhibit courage. Ultimately, quality can make life sweeter. When you focus on quality, all your life experiences can be meaningful. A modest portion of good, healthy food can nourish and satisfy you on multiple levels and, when organically grown, nourish the earth as well. Likewise, a few hours of deep, restful slumber will leave you feeling more refreshed than a night’s worth of frequently interrupted sleep. A few minutes spent with a loved one catching up on the important details about family, work, or community can carry more meaning than two hours spent watching television together. Often, in the pursuit of quantity we cheat ourselves of quality. Then again, quantity also plays a significant role in our lives. Certain elements, such as hugs, kisses, abundance, and love, are best had in copious amounts that are high in quality. But faced with the choice between a single, heartfelt grin and a lifetime of empty smiles, most would, no doubt, choose the former. Ultimately, it is not how much you live or have or do but what you make of each moment that counts. Published with permission from Daily OM *************************************** A Day At A Time Reflection For The Day Some people are such worriers that they worry about the fact that they have nothing to worry about. Newcomers in The Program sometimes feel, for example, “This is much too good to last.” Most of us, however, have plenty of real things to worry about — old standbys like money, health, death and taxes, to name just a few. But The Program tells us that the proven antidote to worry and fear is confidence — confidence not in ourselves, but in our Higher Power. Will I continue to believe that God can and will avert the calamity that I spend my days and nights dreading? Will I believe that if calamity does strike, God will enable me to see it through? Today I Pray May I realize that the worry habit — worry that grows out of broader, often unlabeled fears — will take more than time to conquer. Like many dependent people, I have lived with worry so long that it has become my constant, floor-pacing companion. May my Higher Power teach me that making a chum out of worry is a waste of my energy and fritters away my constructive hours. Today I Will Remember Kick the worry habit. *************************************** One More Day The greatest of faults, I should say, is to be conscious of none. – Thomas Carlyle We really know that we are not perfect. We are, like everyone else, beings capable of millions of behaviors. We can develop a humble self-awareness that takes all of our pluses and minuses into account. When we examine ourselves gently, but honestly, we find ourselves in a position where we can correct our own faults and become more tolerant and accepting of the faults of others. The unconditional love we give ourselves — and everyone we care for — isn’t blind to imperfection; instead, it openly accepts strengths and weaknesses. Today, my love of myself and others will be shown in my tolerance of imperfections. ************************************ Food For Thought We Are Sick Until we realize fully that we are sick, we do not begin to recover. As long as we feel that all we need is a good diet and some willpower, we do not understand the nature of our disease. We would have been able to stop eating compulsively long ago if the answer had been willpower and diet. When we examine the history of our obesity in the light of the OA program, we see that we are in the grip of an incurable illness, which gets progressively worse, never better. Once we accept the fact that there is no cure for our disease, we can begin to develop control. Until we recognize the seriousness of our illness, we do not succeed in controlling it. By acknowledging that our very life depends on maintaining abstinence and practicing the OA principles, we come to terms with the reality of our situation. We can live satisfying, full, rewarding lives if we do not forget that we are sick and that our recovery will never be complete. Each day, may I not forget that I am sick. ***************************************** One Day At A Time ~ACCOMPLISHMENT~ The central fact of our lives today is the absolute certainty that our Creator has entered into our hearts and lives in a way which is indeed miraculous. He has commenced to accomplish those things for us which we could never do by ourselves. Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous The one thing that I am absolutely certain of today is that our Creator, God, lives in my heart and works miracles in my life daily. The biggest miracle, I believe, is having an awareness of Him, and knowing that He is in control of all that happens in my life. His power is infinite. If I were not aware of God, then I don't believe I could work this program. It is the realization that God can accomplish anything that is helping me to work daily toward achieving my goal of continued abstinence and a changed attitude regarding food. I cannot change what's in my heart, but God can. I cannot, of myself, break lifelong habits, but God can motivate me to change. I cannot forgive myself all the pain I've inflicted on myself and others, while suffering from this disease, but God can soften my heart, and help me to forgive by letting me know that He forgives me. There is nothing that I can't accomplish when I take God's hand and let Him lead me. One Day at a Time . . . I will let God guide me into an ever-deepening relationship with Him so that I may accomplish the great feat of arresting my compulsion to overeat. Joycelyn ***************************************** AA 'Big Book' - Quote We doctors have realized for a long time that some form of moral psychology was of urgent importance to alcoholics, but it's application presented difficulties beyond our conception. What with our ultra-modern standards, our scientific approach to everything, we are perhaps not well equipped to apply the powers of good that lie outside our synthetic knowledge. - Pg. xxvii - 4th. Edition - The Doctor's Opinion Hour To Hour - Book - Quote Whatever time it is that we are reading this, we may feel anxious about what the rest of the day will bring. But our program is a 'now' program. Later will bring what later will bring, right now we're clean and sober! I will meditate briefly on the phrase 'Be Here Now' to better understand my new way of life. Being in the Moment Today, I see that the only real point of power is in the present, which is to say that life cannot be lived backward or forward, but only in the context of today. If I truly let myself have this moment and all that it contains, I will be in quiet possession of great eternal wealth. All that is, is in this moment where all the waters meet and all the wisdom of the ages lies; it is the now that calls me to it with open arms. I work out my past, not because it is right or good or proper, but because it allows me to be in fuller possession of my present. By releasing and returning to me those parts of me that remain prisoner in my own psychic and emotional jail, I can have access to the now. I allow myself this moment. - Tian Dayton PhD Pocket Sponsor - Book - Quote We not only attempt geographical 'cures' while drinking, but often while clean and sober too. When you make a move 'for the better,' unless you can honestly say you are running to something positive, then you are running from something that you haven't faced. No matter how fast or how far I go, I can't outrun myself. "Walk Softly and Carry a Big Book" - Book Not drinking is a symptom of your recovery. Time for Joy - Book - Quote Today I am learning to think and act in a positive way that is healthy for my mind, body and spirit. Alkiespeak - Book - Quote Laughter is the music of Alcoholics Anonymous. - Angie D.
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![]() "No matter what you have done up to this moment, you get 24 brand-new hours to spend every single day." --Brian Tracy
AA gives us an opportunity to recreate ourselves, with God's help, one day at a time. --Rufus K. When you get to the end of your rope, tie a knot and hang on. --Franklin D. Roosevelt We stay sober and clean together - one day at a time! God says that each of us is worth loving. |
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