Even More Recovery Readings and Meditations - July

[bluidkiti]

July 1

Step by Step

"God will constantly disclose more to you ...Ask Him in your morning meditation what you can do each day for the man who is still sick. The answers will come, if your own house is in order. ...(O)bviously you cannot transmit something you haven't got. See to it that your relationship with Him is right, and great events will come to pass for you and countless others. This is the Great Fact for us." - Alcoholics Anonymous, 3rd Edition, 1976, Ch 11 ("A Vision for You"), p 164.

Today: "This is the Great Fact for us." And it is "great events" for me and "countless others" that I may not have yet but will receive. This Great Fact is not free, however . We must have a relationship that is right with our higher power, and our own house has to be in order before we can carry out the command of the 12th Step to help someone else. But if our relationship with our God as we understand him is "right" and our own house is in order, this - the promise of the program - comes to us. Today, I focus my vision on the promise of what will be instead of returning to what drinking does to me. And my beginning echoes back to Step One: "(I am) powerless ..."). Second, I seek the willingness to come to believe in that power greater than myself. I want the promise of the program, and I am willing and ready to work for it. And our common journey continues. Step by step. - Chris M.

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~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~

LIFE WITH MODERATION

O grant me, Heaven, a middle state
Neither too humble nor too great,
More than enough for nature's ends,
With something left to treat my friends.

~ David Mallet ~

One of the biggest defects of character, a shortcoming suffered by us all, is our inability to be moderate in living. During our active addiction we did everything to extremes. We thought anything worthwhile must always be done to excess. “Too much ain't enough" was the keynote of our living. We wanted to do everything as often and is much as possible. It was all or nothing for us.

Now we try to change our behavior and thinking so there can never be too much or too little. We work for a happy middle ground. In our Program we learn early that extremes in anything will accomplish nothing.

I must discard my old ideas about living to extremes. It is now the middle ground I seek.

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~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~

The past has flown away. The coming month and year do not exist; ours only is the present’s tiny point.

~ Shabestari ~

We are tempted to look back and to look ahead. But what we most need to do is be present in this moment, with ourselves, with our loved ones and friends, and with our experience right here and right now. When we were lost and asleep in our using days and codependency, we could not be emotionally present. Our thoughts were taken up with how we would get our next drink, our next big gambling win, or our next sexual exploit—or with how to handle the latest crisis. To be emotionally present and live in the moment: this takes time, and it’s a frame of mind that develops as we grow in recovery.

One way we become more present in the moment is to practice gratitude. We can always name a few things we feel grateful for: small and big things, funny and serious things. Looking through the lens of gratitude brings us into the immediate moment.

Today I will look at my day through the lens of gratitude.

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~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~

It is now clear to me that from the beginning some human beings saw that the best way of I taking life was lightly.

~ Florida Scott-Maxwell ~

Not overreacting to the events in our lives is a major achievement for some of us. Thinking before acting is a learned behavior; we have time and many daily opportunities to learn it.

The people who seem to laugh easily, who are always ready with encouragement, who seldom are in a personal crisis, are obvious targets of our envy. What makes them different? Why don’t they struggle like we do? It isn’t fair, we think.

There’s just one difference between them and us: it’s called faith. They have it, and we can too. Beginning each day reflecting on the Serenity Sprayer will help us develop the faith we lack. Giving to God the many problems we needlessly worry over lightens our load. Laughter can come more easily to us too.

Letting God handle my problems today will allow me more time to laugh.

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~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~

My problem has a name

Before I got into recovery I didn’t know what my problem really was, and I didn't know how to help myself. I was confused and I wound up running from my deep pain. The ways I tried to cope only made things worse.

I now know that I have a dual disorder. And to guide me I have embraced the Twelve Step program. To help recover, I will go to meetings; read the literature; stay in touch with my sponsor and other helpers. If I do these things I trust that I will grow stronger and my problems will weaken. I am grateful that my problem has a name because it lessens my fear and leads to a solution.

I will carry a flash card with "Keep it simple" on one side and the Serenity Prayer on the other.

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~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~

When you take your inventory, don’t forget your assets.

~ Carol K. ~

Part of taking a good inventory is identifying our strengths. When we concentrate only on our defects and weaknesses, we shortchange ourselves and everyone around us. All of us have assets, and taking an inventory is a good time to get in touch with them.
We need to identify the things we do well, the things we have done for others, the care we have given. We need to give ourselves credit for our healthier bodies, our clearer minds, and our new spiritual awareness. We can let ourselves feel good about these things. They are now part of us, part of who we are. And when our inventory is really complete, we can share these positive attributes with God, ourselves, and another human being.

There is so much we can learn and much we can give ourselves by acknowledging our strengths, our assets, and our goodness. These good things are the foundation for much growth in recovery, and we can enjoy their rewards today.

Today let me remember the good things in me.

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~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~

Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings.

~ Step Seven ~

A prayer is a humble and heartfelt communication with a power greater than yourself. A prayer can admit a weakness, communicate a need, or convey praise and gratitude. Prayers can unburden your heart, give you strength and courage, and deepen your faith and trust in a Higher Power. Use the following prayer as you work on your understanding and acceptance of Step Seven.

Step Seven Prayer Higher Power, I devote my life in recovery to you. I treasure your guidance, and humbly ask for your help. You are my creator. You have given me life so that I may live it with purity and respect. But I alone have created my many defects of character. I have allowed them to grow because I have paid more attention to my addiction than to you or to others.

Higher Power, I have made many mistakes. I have harmed others. And I have distanced myself from you. I pray to you now to help me remove these defects of character so that I may commune with you with a greater willingness to listen and follow your guidance, and so that I can be more useful to you and to others who share In my journey. This I ask in your name.

Higher Power, thank you for listening to my prayer.

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~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~

Why do some people always see beautiful skies and grass and lovely flowers and incredible human beings, while others are hard-pressed to find anything or any place that is beautiful?

~ Leo Buscaglia ~

We may have some pretty strong feelings about those people who come to meetings and say only positive things. We may feel uncomfortable with their smiling faces and warm welcomes. We may wonder how anyone could be so happy. We know they wouldn't be happy if they had a day like we had today!

It’s hard to break the pattern of seeing only the negative things. We've spent so long at the bottom of the barrel that it’s hard to be at the top. It takes work to think of things in a positive way; that may be a new way of thinking for us.

But we can start thinking positively. Instead of remembering all the negative things that happened today, we can sift through until we find just one positive thing. After a while we may come up with two, or three or many more. Soon, we may be one of those positive people with a cheery outlook!

Can I think of one positive thing that happened to me today? Can I express this positive thing to others?

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~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~

Seeking freedom

If we want freedom from addiction, we must start the process ourselves. Then we must accept any help offered and follow the direction of our Higher Power. Recovery does not come to us without effort. First we seek abstinence; we want to be clean and sober. Later, we look for the joys of living.

It often takes months and years to grasp the principles that will set us free. But free of what? At first, freedom from alcohol and other drugs; then, freedom from fear and from anything else that binds us. To become free, we can begin seeking our principles and our truth today.

Am I seeking freedom?

Higher Power, help me become free from the things that bind me.

Today I will work toward freedom from

God help me to stay clean and sober today!

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~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~

It is not possible to step twice into the same river.

~ HERACLITUS ~

Newcomer

Suddenly, my life has become very full. Things I thought I had lost are coming back to me. Changes are taking place at work and in my personal life. Most of it is good, I guess, but I’m overwhelmed with feelings of fear. I don’t know where I’m going; I wish things would stay still.

Sponsor

No one dislikes change as much as I do. When I was active in my addiction, I did everything I could to maintain the status quo. Things changed anyway—usually for the worse. Today, when good things come, I can feel just as scared of them as of bad things. I’m afraid that I won’t know how to handle new challenges; I’m afraid people will find out how inadequate I feel. I remind myself that I’m not in charge of the way things turn out; I show up for life and do what I’m supposed to do. I’m responsible for the actions I take, not the results. I let myself take things slowly. I don’t have to rush. And I don’t have to face my fears alone: the more I talk about them, the easier things get.

As we go through periods of change or stress, it helps to imagine that we have a volume control knob; we can turn down the volume of our thoughts about the future and focus our attention on enjoying the present moment.

Today, I face change calmly. I enjoy the present moment and let the future take care of itself. The slower I go, the faster I’ll get there.

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~ THE EYE OPENER ~

A sinner is usually a sinner because he is thinking wrong, whereas a mean person has a warped and deformed personality.

A sinner’s faults usually lie in his thoughtlessness, but the mean person is nearly always a person of strong will and determination.

Sinning stems from weakness, meanness from strength.

A dog will love a sinner but seldom a mean person.

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~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~

BLESSED MOTHER TERESA’s PRAYER

Let nothing upset you;
Let nothing frighten you.
Everything is changing;
God alone is changeless.
Patience attains the goal.
Who has Cod lacks nothing:
God alone fills all of our needs.

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~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~

KARMA

Just as like attracts like, so like produces like. This is a cosmic law, which means that it is universally true throughout the whole of existence right up through the higher planes. As Jesus put it, you do not gather grapes from thorns or figs from thistles; and he also said,

Even so every good tree bringeth forth good fruit; but a corrupt tree bringeth forth evil fruit . . . (Matthew 7:17).

So it is with our thoughts and words and deeds. As we sow so shall we reap, sometimes almost immediately, sometimes after a long interval. But always, sooner or later like produces like.

Reincarnation also explains the differences in talents that we find between one man and another. The born musician is a man who has studied music in a previous life, perhaps in several lives, and has therefore built that faculty into his soul. He is a talented musician today because he is reaping what he sowed yesterday. In the East this law of sowing and reaping is known as karma and the term is a convenient one.

Note carefully, however, that karma is not punishment. If you touch a red hot stove, you will bum your finger. This will hurt you, but it is not punishment, only a benign and reformative consequence, for after one or two such experiences in childhood, you learn to keep your fingers away from hot iron. So it is with all natural retribution—you suffer because you have a lesson to learn.

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~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~

Supersoul

To be all that we were meant to be and to do all that we were meant to do, is the only end in life.

~ Spinoza ~

The first Superman movie offered a striking metaphor for the way we learn our purpose on earth. In the film, baby Superman's parents place him in a space capsule and send him off to Earth to escape the destruction of their planet. As the infant is hurtling past the stars, he listens to a series of audio tapes teaching him about himself and his purpose. The tapes, preprogrammed by his parents, remind him of his origin, his strengths, and his mission on Earth. By the time he arrives at his destination, he is clear about his identity, and he goes about the business of being Superman.

Our story is remarkably like that of Superman: We arrived on Earth with great innate wisdom, seeded with the knowledge of our purpose. Before we were born, we consciously chose, in co-creatorship with Spirit, who we would be and what we would accomplish while we are here.

But here our story departs from Superman's in that when we arrived on Earth, we forgot. Quickly we were distracted by the limits that our body imposed on us and the negative messages laid upon us by a world that had forgotten to look within for truth. Before long, we wandered with the masses, puzzling, "How did I get here, and what am I supposed to be doing?"

The moment we ask these questions, we begin our spiritual adventure of returning to the wisdom we forgot. We set out to reclaim true vision, which rewards us infinitely more deeply than seeing through the body's eyes and playing out the world's beliefs. Gradually, the veils of illusion and ignorance are lifted, and we regain the sense of purpose we came to live.

Help me remember my purpose and live the highest life possible.

I honor my purpose of divine expression.
I am here to love, learn, and serve.

[bluidkiti]

July 2

Step by Step

Today, if it should be the anniversary of the passing of someone dear to me or any other observance that rekindles a sense of loss and bittersweet, let me look to my program not to mourn what is gone but to be grateful that I experienced the good in the first place. And let me look to the lessons and examples of who or what I was once blessed enough to have to pay respect to their memories. As a drinking alcoholic, loss was a cornerstone of my existence; today, in recovery, gratitude and honoring the memories of people or things now gone are my hope. AA has given me the tools to come to terms with loss but, more importantly, how to handle the sometimes unkind changes of life without alcohol, self-pity, anger, anguish and a subtle longing for days and times long gone. Today, if the date resurrects the bittersweet, the gift of sobriety can overcome the bitter. And our common journey continues. Step by step. - Chris M.

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~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~

LET GO AND LET GOD

We can't carry the person, we can only carry the message. The results are in God's hands.

~ Anonymous ~

"Let go, let God" doesn't mean we stop caring: it means we can't do it all for someone else. We in the Program care deeply. We can sometimes pick up another person's pain more quickly than our own. There is a very natural inclination to want to stop the hurting. There are even times we have neglected our own well-being to help another.

We need to remember our own experience. It was not until we did our First Step that we became available for recovery. The First Step was an admission and acceptance of our powerlessness. No one did our First Step for us. This fact is true for others as well. We can't carry anyone through the Steps, and expect them to understand recovery.

If my hand is holding onto someone else's too tightly, that person's hand can't hold onto God's.

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~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~

My life is in the hands of any fool who makes me lose my temper.

~ Joseph Hunter ~

Many of us have learned that we can get a real buzz from anger. It seems to give us direct access to our egos, where we feel an inflated sense of power and entitlement. We no longer feel vulnerable; we see things in black and white terms. We believe we are right. But in this primitive state of excitement, we are reacting from the animal level, and our grown-up brain has been bypassed. This kind of habitual reaction can leave a lot of damage in its aftermath. It undermines our dearest relationships and our own self-respect.

We need to examine our patterns with anger. We don’t seek to be rid of it but to manage it as grown men. Do we take responsibility for staying honest in the midst of anger? Can we hold onto our humility while being angry? When we express angry feelings, do we avoid abusive words and intimidating actions? We can feel our anger and express it without reverting to our primitive brain.

Today I will be aware of angry feelings and express them with a clear sense of my grown-up masculinity.

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~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~

Too many things in today’s rushed and hurried world seem to require immediate action. I need to differentiate between the things that require immediate action and the things that can wait.

~ Karen Davis ~

Not to get caught up in the mania of activity around us takes monumental effort. It seems that everyone else is on a fast track, and if we abstain from the race, we worry about getting left behind, thus missing an opportunity that may surface only once in our lives.

In spite of our fears, very few circumstances need immediate attention. By taking the time to think through our alternatives and then to ask our Higher Power for guidance, we are assured the right response to every circumstance. With practice we will learn that pausing a moment or two won’t mean missing an opportunity that has our name on it.

Some situations, such as a swerving car or a col-lapsed friend, require a quick response. However, even those circumstances call for reaction that is thoughtful rather than rushed. Every decision we make will be better when we let God give us a hand.

I can slow my pace today. My friends and I will benefit from my thoughtful responses.

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~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~

I am taking care of my body

Only now can I see how my addiction and emotional illness made it hard to take care of my body. First, I put all my energy into getting street drugs and staying high. Second, I put substances into my body that damaged it.

Free of chemicals, I am coming to care more about my physical body. I eat at regular times and I watch what I eat. I let my dog take me for a walk. When my body gets tired, I give it the extra rest it seems to need in recovery. These lays I am paying attention to my body, and it feels right.

I will incorporate my new habits into my daily recovery plan.

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~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~

No man is wise enough by himself.

~ Plautus ~

The people in our fellowship come together with a single purpose: the desire to remain sober. We are of various backgrounds and different races. Some of us are rich, while others have no money at all. We’re all so different, yet we share a common bond: we seek sobriety. Separately, the task is insurmountable, but together we are powerful in our quest. What one of us lacks in hope and strength we find by coming together within this fellowship. Each member offers a link connecting the other. Broken, the chain is useless. Together, the strength and beauty of each link is made even more powerful. We join together in a spiritual bond that transcends our differences.

Before we joined the fellowship and chose a Higher Power, isolation made our task seem overwhelming. Now, as we look around the room at smiling and caring faces, we can thank God that in our pain we have found such strength and the wisdom we need to stay sober one day at a time.

Today let me be humbly grateful for my sobriety.

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~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~

A fool sees not the same tree that a wise man sees.

~ William Blake ~

When you were a child and were asked, “How deep is the ocean?” you may have spread your arms as wide as you could to signify the ocean’s massive size. When you were a bit older and asked how big something enormous was, you might have answered, “It’s as big as infinity.” You had learned a word that would signify what your arms had expressed. But when you were using and were asked, “How much did you have to drink?” or “How much money did you take out of the bank to gamble?” you may have answered, “Not much” or “Just a little.” The reality was, you had more than a few drinks. The truth was, you withdrew more money than you wanted to admit.

While lies and an altered vision of your universe may have helped you change your perspective so you could continue to use and abuse, this perspective was foolish and far from reality.

Today you know the value of honesty, and how it enables you to see and speak the truth. As hard as it may be to accept the truth, growth springs from such knowledge. You can become wiser and, in so doing, become more in touch with reality.

I will see the world as it really is, not as I want it to be.

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~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~

When we stop looking at whatever troubles us, and turn in faith to God, the source of good, the difficulty disappears and a new condition takes its place.

~ William A. Clough ~

If our garden is choked with weeds, we don't stare at it and think, "My garden is going to have a lousy growing season." We start pulling those weeds to give our plants room to grow and the nutrition they need. Because we believe clearing the weeds will make the garden grow we change a bad condition into a good one.

But what do we do when we see ourselves being choked by debts, bad relationships, or health problems? Do we take action to affect change or do we become paralyzed at our view of an unchangeable situation? We need to learn to take our focus off fears, doubts, worries, and insecurities and place it instead upon faith and a belief that all will work out.

We can begin to replace difficulties with faith. No matter what problems we have, none is too big for faith to change. Our belief that these conditions can change is the first step in letting faith work its own way.

Tonight I can change my outlook by replacing my difficulties with faith.

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~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~

Overcoming worry

Worrying only succeeds in ruining our days and driving us nuts. It’s better if we don’t burden ourselves with what we need to do until we need to do it—and then promptly do it. And if worry weakens, action strengthens. If we stay active, we don’t have time to worry.

Our Higher Power knows our needs and will give us the knowledge and power to get them if we wholly trust. Besides, why worry when we can pray?

Do I let God help me with my worries?

Higher Power, help me to stay active and to trust that you’ll take care of me.

I will practice not worrying today by

God help me to stay clean and sober today!

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~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~

Great events make me quiet and calm; it is only trifles that irritate my nerves.

~ QUEEN VICTORIA ~

Newcomer

A health insurance claim got rejected, and I have to submit it all over again; a plumbing job was left unfinished, and I’m going to have to keep calling my landlord; some equipment needs a minor adjustment, but I’ll have to rebox the whole thing and get it to the repair place. . . . Life seems to be an endless succession of these little nightmares.

Sponsor

Two things seem wonderful to me about the complaints you have about your life today. The first is that you haven’t picked up an addictive substance or behavior. In the old days, what set me off most was the little things. I’ve heard one person in recovery say, "I rarely drank or drugged over real tragedies. I did fine with the big things; it was when I broke a shoelace that I was in danger of losing my balance.” Today, your “broken shoelaces” didn’t send you off the deep end.

The other blessing that strikes me, hearing these problems, is how full of life they are. We have places to live, running water, equipment to care for, and relationships with landlords and plumbers. We’ve been taking care of our health, and we have the ability to face filling out insurance forms. We can laugh more easily at glitches when we realize that they arise out of choices we’ve made to immerse ourselves in reality.

Today, my glass is no longer half empty, but half full.

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~ THE EYE OPENER ~

We not only are judged by our words and actions, but also we are frequently misjudged by them. If you do or say anything at all, you will be either judged or misjudged and the purity of your motives will not affect the verdict.

Therefore take but little thought of the judgement of men but in all things strive to earn the commendation of that still, small voice within you.

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~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~

I've found a Reason

Dear God, as long as my life was preoccupied with my own problems, my own unwillingness and dark moods, I was critical, insensitive, rigid, and defiant. But when I honestly faced my defects and failures and the worst was known and surrendered to You, the whole nature of living changed. I am no longer the emotional center of all things and no longer take everything as personal to myself. I've found a reason for all the suffering through which I have passed. It is to be used in understanding and helping others. Out of darkness comes light.

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~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~

FIND MATURITY

Why do you not remember your previous lives? Consider how prone people are to worry and grieve foolishly over the past events of this one life, and imagine their state if they had the material of many lives to handle in this way.

And so the past is mercifully withheld from us until we reach the stage when we can regard our own histories impersonally and objectively, and when we do reach that stage it is possible to remember our previous lives.

Our birth is but a sleep and a forgetting,
The soul that rises with us, our life's Star,
Hath had elsewhere its setting,
And cometh from afar;
Not in entire forgetfulness,
And not in utter darkness,
But trailing clouds of glory do we come
From God, who is our home.

~ Wordsworth ~

Is it absolutely necessary to come back? The answer is that you need not come back if you will concentrate your whole heart upon God, and seek His Presence until you realize it completely. If you can do this, of all tasks the most difficult, then you will leave this earth planet to enter into full communion with God, and you need never come back. Hardly anyone, however, is able to do this at present, and so we have to go on by stages, learning from experience, study, prayer, and meditation; living life after life until at last we “grow up" spiritually.

. . . I trust in the mercy of the Lord forever and ever (Psalm 52:8).

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~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~

No Psychic Required Here

Call on God, but row away from the rocks.

~ Indian proverb ~

As I was leaving a restaurant with my professional psychic friend, Denise, a fellow approached and asked if I wanted to buy a stereo. Since I was in the market for a car stereo at the time, I told him, "Maybe," and he invited Denise and me to his showroom in the trunk of his car. There he displayed an extensive collection of unusually shoddy stereos at remarkably high prices. When I asked him if he offered any warranty, he told me that his boss did not like people coming to the warehouse (for insurance purposes, you understand). When he asked me if I wanted one of the stereos, Denise leaned over and whispered in my ear, "l don't think you should buy anything from this man.”

I whispered back, "I don't need a psychic to tell me that.” I thanked the fellow, bid him good day, and off we went.

Many on the spiritual path have a difficult time differentiating between judgment and discernment. Some feel that to say no or acknowledge that someone is hurting himself or another would be an act of judgment. While we must not judge, we must discern. Judgment is distinguished by turbulent emotion and fear, while discernment is based on clarity and peace. you serve another if you refuse to participate in an activity that would hurt him or yourself.

It is loving to tell the truth and hurtful to put up with a lie. lf someone is not coming from a place of integrity or is endangered by an addictive behavior, it is your duty to call the situation as you see it. Perhaps God is giving you the insight that this situation needs correction. You don’t need to be a psychic to see the truth, which is always trying to make itself obvious, if you are open to seeing it.

Give me the wisdom and the courage to call the truth as I see it.

My divine mind guides me on my right path.

[bluidkiti]

July 3

Step by Step

"We alcoholics are men and women who have lost the ability to control our drinking. ...All of us felt at times that we were regaining control, but such intervals - usually brief - were inevitably followed by still less control, which led in time to pitiful and incomprehensible demoralization. We are convinced ...that alcoholics of our type are in the grip of a progressive illness. Over any considerable period we get worse, never better." - Alcoholics Anonymous, 3rd Edition, 1976, Ch 3 ("More About Alcoholism"), p 30.

Today, I do not have time to waste mulling the myth that I can become a responsible drinker by "controlling" my intake. My own history is etched in the words of the program and probably with the histories of countless others. I lost control at some point, conned myself into thinking I could regain it only to plunge deeper into "incomprehensible demoralization." Only when I understood and believed that my alcoholism is progressive, that it always gets worse and never better without total abstinence, did I come to take Step One: "Admitted (I am) powerless ..." I am still powerless over alcohol and always will be, but I have power in sobriety and, today, I have a choice: don't drink. And our common journey continues. Step by step. - Chris M.

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~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~

DEATH

We surrender to win, we die to live, we suffer to get well, we give it away to keep it.

~ Anonymous ~

The Program teaches us not to fear death as we learn not to fear life. Death must happen for life to be born. Our addiction told us to hold on to all sorts of dead or dying realities. Our addiction prevented us from growing up. We tried to hold on to our youth rather than letting it pass away naturally.

When God called a loved one on, we fought and cursed God for not getting our permission first. When a relationship came and went we sometimes spent years mourning the loss. As death became more fearful to us, we closed ourselves off from the new life that was waiting. Our Program teaches us to let go of the dead and dying and embrace the new. We rejoice in the celebration of life.

I have come to a new reality regarding life and death because I have faced the reality of the death of my addiction and the new life of my recovery.

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~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~

To err is human; to blame it on the other guy is even more human.

~ Bob Goddard ~

We are on a path that leads us to become better men with greater insight and stronger character. A central theme on this path is learning to take responsibility for ourselves, our mistakes, and our choices as we deal with our situation. We can make progress on this path by noticing our defensive reactions when we make a mistake or when someone criticizes us. Our old ways were aimed at shifting the blame or counterattacking to get someone else off our case. Now we are learning how to take on the blame when it honestly belongs to us.

One of the first things we need to learn in taking responsibility is that there is no shame in making a mistake. Everyone makes mistakes. But some people don’t accept responsibility for them, and others do. We have much greater respect for someone who does. Admitting when we were wrong doesn’t mean speaking in vague generalities, saying that “mistakes were made.” It doesn’t mean saying, “Yes, I did this, but only because you did that.” It means saying what we did or didn’t do and laying the facts out there for us and others to deal with. When we can do that, forgiveness almost always follows shortly.

Today I will hold back my defensiveness and admit the facts as they are.

**************************************************

~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~

In seeking a balanced life, I find so many exciting opportunities to explore and understand that none of them needs to become a compulsion.

~ Michele Fedderly ~

Many of us long to live more balanced lives. We have been “all-or-nothing" women, and living on the edge may have excited us. Overcommitment to causes, people, or a social life kept us from thinking about ourselves. Then we’d crash, only to gather our resources to begin the frantic pace again. Our compulsive activity was countered by total retreat, again and again. The thread that remained the same was our reliance on some chemical to take away the pain.

Are we free of pain now? Not always, but we have more positive ways to handle it. We have friends who will listen. We have sponsors who can suggest new ways to deal with our stumbling blocks. We know women and men who are living more balanced lives, and we can model ourselves after them. Now we have a reason for slowing down. We have come to believe that the present moment is all we really have.

Balancing my activities today will allow me to accomplish more of what really needs to be done.

**************************************************

~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~

I am grateful (for what I used to take for granted)

Before I got into recovery I couldn't get what I wanted, and whatever I got wasn't enough. Life seemed a struggle and without happiness. I was caught up in feeding my addiction and avoiding my emotional illness. It felt like I was dying.

Even though I've been abstinent and stable but a few months, already I feel more relaxed, lighter. I breathe easier. I smell the air again, see the colors of the sky, and hear nature all around me. But most of all I can see that my life is more than just illness and pain. I am alive and I am grateful for my life.

I will write down two simple things that I am grateful for today.

*************************************************

~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~

Everybody should be free to go very slow.

~ Robert Frost ~

We’ve all been in a class we hated. We probably learned very little, and did the minimum amount of work necessary

The same holds true for forcing our loved ones into recovery. We all learn better when we are ready to be taught and more likely to go the extra mile for sobriety. In order to help a person into recovery, we must detach and leave our friend in God’s hands. We can turn to our Higher Power as we mourn for our friend. Our Higher Power will bring us comfort and help us let go.

Maybe our friend has reached bottom and is ready to surrender and accept help. If so, the future can look brighter almost immediately. But maybe he or she needs more time.

A friend is ready to accept help when he or she surrenders the need to control life. We can only pray and wait patiently, while that person begins his (or her) own recovery.

Today help me to let go and let God.

**************************************************

~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~

All work and no play make Jack a dull boy.

~ Proverb ~

While the above proverb is familiar to most through one of the more chilling scenes in The Shining, when the discovery of reams of paper on which the proverb is written repeatedly captures the main character’s descent into insanity, it originated at a time when children were required to work as hard as adults. It served as a warning to parents that working their children too hard would deprive them of other experiences.

Working too hard at anything—even your recovery— may prevent you from experiencing other things in life. The holistic focus of recovery urges a balance in everything in your life, and that includes setting aside time to have fun and play.

Removing your addiction from your life has given you many gifts. One of these gifts is more time. Use the time in which you formerly used to become more adventurous, learn something new, or try out a recreational activity you have always wanted to do. You can even engage in activities that you never got to experience as a child— running through a sprinkler on a hot day or simply lying on your back in a field, looking up at the clouds.

Today I will have fun in my addiction. I will do something for no other purpose than sheer enjoyment.

**************************************************

~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~

We can't all be captains, we've got to be crew.

~ Douglas Malloch ~

An old saying tells us, There is no I in team. That means there is no one hero, no one member who carries a team or becomes the personality of the team. The team wins or loses because of all its members, not the actions or omissions of one.

There are many of us who don't like to play on a team. We would prefer individual sports or hobbies. We may like to be in control or seek solitude rather than the company of others. We may even try to assume so many responsibilities that we become the only person who can accomplish a task or job.

Sometimes it's good to be a leader. But leaders also need to know how to be led. To work well with other people, we need to know what it feels like to be a member of a group where we are all equal. A ship comprised of only captains may flounder or be tossed against the shore. A ship with one captain and a crew may sail smoothly and safely by the efforts of all.

Let me become a member of my group, not a leader. Help me extend this affirmation into all areas of my life.

**************************************************

~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~

Sharing our program

Sharing is truly valuable. It doesn’t simply help the other guy; it helps us too. By sharing how our program is working, we get the feedback we need (positive or negative) to see clearly. It helps us to see regularly how we are doing.

We can spare ourselves unnecessary pain if we take our experiences to meetings for feedback. As we develop our lives, it helps to know what others are doing to develop theirs.

Am I sharing my problems and progress with others?

Higher Power, help me truly share my recovery so that I can help myself and others.

Today I will share my program with

God help me to stay clean and sober today!

**************************************************

~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~

One cannot collect all the beautiful shells on the beach.

~ ANNE MORROW LINDBERGH ~

Newcomer

I’m having trouble making decisions. There are big ones: Should I go back to school, or should I stay with my present job, where there’s potential for advancement? And there’s smaller stuff: Should I take advantage of special fares and use my vacation time now, or should I stay here and catch up with paperwork so I’ll feel mentally free? I wish I could be two people at once; when I’m confused, all the options sound equal to me.

Sponsor

For some of us, addiction narrowed the options. When we were acting under a compulsion, we couldn’t choose freely, let alone enjoy what we’d chosen. In recovery we may lack experience recognizing our priorities and focusing our attention. Opportunities for making choices, instead of delighting us, may overwhelm us. Abundance may be driving us to distraction.

There is power and vision to be gained by narrowing our options, concentrating our energies. One test that works for me when I have a difficult choice between two alternatives is to ask myself, “If I only had two months to live, which of these things would I want to do?” When I listen closely for inner guidance, my own answers sometimes surprise me.

What if we make a mistake? We remind ourselves that we can do things differently next time. We don’t have to punish ourselves for not knowing everything in advance. Human beings need to have experiences in order to find out what makes our lives better or worse.

Today, I don’t let my decisions overwhelm me. I’m open to what my inner wisdom tells me.

**************************************************

~ THE EYE OPENER ~

In our drinking days there was no humor in the world except that doubtful brand we heard around the bars. It is certainly true that we took our insignificant affairs and our ridiculous selves most seriously.

In AA, when we became mentally sober, we not only acquired a sense of humor but we were even able to laugh at ourselves. We can now accept the criticism of others with a greater degree of patient good humor, we have learned that the best way to confound our critic is to laugh off his attack with good-humored tolerance.

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~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~

Happy, Joyous, and Free

I am sure You want me to be happy, joyous, and free.
With Your help I will no longer believe that life has no meaning and is filled with sorrow.
You, the Twelve Steps, and our Fellowship have shown me I made my own misery.
You didn't do it.
I pray I will avoid the deliberate manufacture of misery.
But if trouble comes, I will cheerfully make it an opportunity to demonstrate Your wisdom and power.

~ Adapted from material in Alcoholics Anonymous, Fourth Edition, page 133 ~

*************************************************

~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~

YOUR HEART'S DESIRE

An old adage says: "God has a plan for every man, and He has one for you." Your real problem—the only problem you have—is to find your true calling in life. Everything else will fall into place. You will be happy; and upon happiness, health will follow. You will have all the supply that you require to meet your needs, and this means that you will have perfect freedom; for poverty and freedom cannot go together.

God has not made you without a definite purpose in view. The Universe is a universe; that is, it is a unified harmony, a divine scheme. It could not happen, therefore, that God could create a spiritual entity such as you are, without having a special purpose in view, a special place for you. Whatever the place may be, there can be only one person who can fill it perfectly.

But how is one to find his true place in life? Is there any means whereby you may discover what it really is that God wishes you to do? The answer is divinely simple—already from time to time, God Himself has whispered into your heart just that very wonderful thing, nothing less than what is called your heart's desire. The most secret wish that lies at the bottom of your heart, that is just the very thing that God is wishing you to do or to be for Him. And the birth of that wish in your soul was the voice of God Himself telling you to arise and come up higher because He had need of you.

Delight thyself also in the Lord, and he shall give thee the desires of thine heart. (Psalm37:4).

**************************************************

~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~

Heaven and Hell

Heaven is the decision I must make.

~ A Course in Miracles ~

A samurai warrior came to a Zen master and commanded him, "Teach me about heaven and hell."

The master looked at the warrior and laughed, ridiculing him, "Why would you think I would waste my time teaching an ignoramus like you? You are an uneducated buffoon!"

The samurai, severely insulted, began to breathe heavily and grew red in the face. Furious, he drew his sword and lifted it to chop off the master's head.

"That, sir," the master interrupted, "is hell."

Immediately, the warrior was overcome with humility. In deference to the profundity of this lesson, he fell at the master's feet and began to thank him profusely.

“And that, sir," continued the master, "is heaven."

Heaven and hell are not eternal dispensations that await us after we die; they are states of mind we experience even while on earth. Whether we live in ecstasy or torture depends not on an outside agent, but on the thoughts we think and the attitudes we hold. Love is the door to heaven, and fear is the path to hell. At any given moment, we hold the key that will unlock either door; the choice is ours.

I want to experience heaven even as I walk the earth. Assist me to love so deeply that I live in paradise continually.

I open the door to heaven with the key of appreciation.

[bluidkiti]

July 4

Step by Step

" ...(T)here is a substitute ...It is a fellowship in Alcoholics Anonymous. There you will find release from care, boredom and worry. Your imagination will be fired. Life will mean something at last. The most satisfactory years of your existence lie ahead." - Alcoholics Anonymous, 3rd Edition, 1976, Ch 11 ("A Vision for You"), p 152.

Today, if I have not already, let me take the first step toward a life that finally means something other than how bad the next hangover will be or how severe the consequences of my misconduct and, as promised by the program, a belief and faith that the "most satisfactory years of (my) existence" do, indeed, lay ahead. And if I have taken the first step toward the promise of the program, let me not squander it on some folly like self-pity or a thought that "just one, this one time" won't hurt. Whether I have or have not already embarked on my journey of recovery, let me believe that sobriety and recovery can provide a life that is better, one that is more satisfactory than the one I have in drinking. Today, let me believe that I am worthy to work toward something better. And our common journey continues. Step by step. - Chris M.

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~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~

EASY DOES IT

The great mind knows the power of gentleness.

~ Robert Browning ~

We have learned to become gentle with ourselves and other people. The slogan "Easy Does It" works in all situations. We created confusion in our lives when we lost our light touch and our softspoken word. We were like a tornado, upsetting everything in our path. Nothing was ever changed by our power-driven tantrums.

When we are stopped dead on the freeway, will shaking our fist at every passing car get us where we're going any faster? Easy Does It is our way of reminding our-selves to go slow, let God work His will, everything is O.K. We have learned to walk more softly and with more consideration.

I am not lazy when I slow down and take life on life's terms. I am simply tuned into the secret of how life actually works.

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~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~

Some people are so afraid to die that they never begin to live.

~ Henry Van Dyke ~

Fear is a dirty word for most guys. We find it hard to admit the truth. But the truth is, in our denial of fear we have often been ruled by it. We certainly know the fear of going without the comfort we had in our addictive and codependent ways. Our anxiety was hidden under our controlling behaviors when we said, “I’m only doing it because I love you,” or “I’m only going to take a little hit.” Many of us have felt so alone and grew up in such a stressful world that we learned to be constantly on guard against danger, even as we denied our fears.

Life inherently involves risk. There is such a thing as too much control. In its ultimate form, control is static and dead. That is why spiritual awakening is so central to our healing and recovery. We can stay spiritually alive, aware of life’s risks but remaining calm. When we fear what this day will bring, or what the future holds, we place our fears in the hands of God as we understand God. What happens next is beyond rational explanation, but it lets us go forward without grasping for our old self-destructive comforts.

Today I will admit that I feel fear as any man does, and I stay calm in the care of God.

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~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~

My name is Elizabeth. I have a gift. It is called alcoholism.

~ Elizabeth Farrell ~

Many of us didn’t feel alcoholism or other drug addiction was a gift when we first got into recovery. We felt shame or perhaps anger that we couldn’t drink or use like other women. Alcohol or other drugs made us feel less self-conscious and more courageous. Accepting that we couldn’t handle chemicals meant feeling the fear of many situations, perhaps for the first time.

But most of us have come to appreciate the rewards of sobriety. When we were using, our lack of consistent values caused us to stumble many limes. Now we have the Steps as guiding principles for every action we take.

We also have warm friendships that are healing our loneliness. We no longer harbor anger and self- pity. We are more peaceful and secure. Having a Higher Power we can trust makes any new experience tolerable. Addiction and sobriety are gifts we have been graced with, and we are coming to appreciate this more each day.

I will show God my appreciation for the gift of addiction and sobriety by carrying the message through my behavior today.

**************************************************

~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~

I now have choices

Before I got into recovery I didn't really know what my problem was. I just knew I was anxious and fearful. I didn't know I had a dual disorder and that each disorder can affect the other. I only knew that with my moods, I kept thinking about suicide and felt I had to keep using.

Looking back I see how stuck I was. But I am no longer caught in that cycle of symptoms and intoxication. I'm psychiatrically stable and I no longer need street drugs to cope with my symptoms. I am learning about my problems and learning to work on solutions. I feel new freedom and strength.

I will take ten minutes today to think about my freedom and how I can use it in my life .

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~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~

i thank You God... for everything which is natural which is infinite which is yes.

~ e. e. cummings ~

Within any twenty-four hours free from active dependency, our answer to small and major decisions is “yes.” We are experiencing life fully and courageously, regardless of outcomes. Our feelings surface and subside like light on water. The words we share loudly or in whispers are as vivid and colorful as the world surrounding us. Our new reality is a natural gift on our spiritual journey back to friendship and health. And as our active recovery fills each day with choices, duties, events, work, and play, we are often surprised by how swiftly time passes. Each minute in recovery, as long as we work our program, we are growing. Even the hard days, when we feel the old doubts and fear and pain, are days of healing. Our Higher Power has given us a new life, a new chance to say “yes” to the best in ourselves and the world.

Today let me gratefully accept what is offered to me.

**************************************************

~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~

Memory itself is an internal rumour.

~ George Santayana ~

There is a difference between minor forgetfulness— walking into a room and forgetting why you went there or not being able to recall the name of someone you just met—and the more significant memory loss that results from an addiction. Alcohol abuse can often result in fragmentary memory loss. You may not remember something that happened while you were drunk until prompting provides you with clues. Or you may experience blackouts, when you are incapable of remembering what happened during a previous binge no matter how much you are prompted.

Prolonged alcohol abuse can lead to the development of alcohol dementia. Poor nutrition during the time when you were actively using can lead to memory loss as well as decrease your ability to learn new information or solve problems. In recovery, it is essential that you exercise regularly, improve your nutrition, and take vitamin supplements to develop a healthy body and improve your memory. Engage in memory-building activities and learn something new each day so that your brain gets healthy exercise as well.

Taking control now of any memory issues brought on by your addiction will strengthen your mind for the future.

Today I will exercise my brain by using memory-enhancing techniques.

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~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~

Patience is a virtue that carries a lot of WAIT!

~ Our Daily Bread ~

Before we came into the program, we may have had little patience. We may have been tired of waiting for our parents to sober up and live up to their promises. We may have impatiently crossed off the days until we were legally free to leave home.

When we entered the program, we again found we had to wait for so many things. We learned the Twelve Steps couldn't be done in twelve days. We listened to people talk about the years of recovery they had. We may have privately thought it wouldn't take us that long. We were going to be in and out of the program in a matter of weeks—and we would be cured!

Good things come to those who wait could be another program slogan because it is so true. To truly master any skill requires long hours of study and continual practice. Like playing the piano, we start out with short, easy chords that build to full-length concertos. Our goal in the program is to play concertos for the rest of our lives. That will not happen today, nor tomorrow but will come in time.

I can use what I've learned in the program to begin my lifelong study. Higher Power, help me have patience.

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~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~

Praying

Our prayers are always answered, but some-times the answer is no and sometimes the answer is one we cannot understand. (How can we understand the plans of our Higher Power? If we trust our Higher Power to keep us clean and sober, perhaps our faith can extend to other areas of our lives.

There is a saying in the program about prayer that makes a lot of sense: We should work every day as if everything depended on us and pray every day as if everything depended on God.

Am I praying with faith?

Higher Power, help me ask for what I need and to trust what I get.

Today I will pray for

God help me to stay clean and sober today!

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~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~

If you're going to be able to look back on something and laugh about it, you might as well laugh about it now.

~ MARIE OSMOND ~

Newcomer

I spoke to someone I work with about how I’ve been perceiving a particular situation between us, and disaster resulted. I tried hard to speak respectfully, to take responsibility for my own part and not blame the other person, but I wasn’t heard at all. He attacked me and put me down; he really crossed the line. I was speechless at first, and then I yelled back; I had to defend myself. How do you fight fair when someone else is fighting dirty? The situation feels hopeless.

Sponsor

Perhaps you unwittingly touched a nerve, if the other person responded so explosively. His anger may have been waiting to erupt even before you spoke. He doesn’t have the skill you’ve been trying to develop, of owning our own feelings without attacking. Perhaps attack is all he knows right now.

We don’t have to assume that one unfortunate encounter is the end of a relationship. In a situation like the one you’ve described, we can remind ourselves that we’re adults, dealing with someone who’s behaving like a hurt or cornered child. We can be generous and compassionate to ourselves and the other person by detaching from the need to agree. Instead of trying to convince him or her to see things our way, we let go for now.

When we’re ready, we may say something simple: “Sorry things got out of hand between us. Your opinion does matter to me.” We can allow ourselves the freedom not to participate in arguments. Arguments require two participants.

Today, I step back from argument, with myself and with others.

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~ THE EYE OPENER ~

It is not possible to help a man as long as he stands in his own way, nor can anyone or anything else.

A vast host of drinkers could quit if they could get a job, but they can’t get a job because they are drinking.

They could quit if they could get their families back but they can’t get their families back because they persist in drinking.

We are all too prone to get a new man “fixed up” so he can stop drinking instead of making him realize that he must stop drinking so he can “fix himself up.” He must get out of his own way first.

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~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~

Life Is a Gift

Thank you, God. May I remember during periods of depression,
The many times in my life when things do seem right, when I have those moments of clarity,
When I feel there is hope, when the sun shines down on me and warms my face, when Your love warms my heart.
I am reminded that life is a gift . . . this I pray.

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~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~

YOUR OWN PLACE

If you say that you are unhappy, dissatisfied, perhaps ill or impoverished, a failure, this is simply another way of putting the fact that you are not allowing the will of God to have free play in your life—you are not doing the thing that He meant you to do.

Discontent is not necessarily a bad thing. It is your duty to be discontented with anything less than complete harmony and happiness. A wholesome discontent with dullness, failure, and frustration is your incentive for overcoming such things. Whoever you are, your true place is calling, and, because you really are a spark of the Divine, you will never be content until you answer.

Remember that this call is the call of God, and when God calls you to His Service, He pays all the expenses. Whatever you may require to answer that call—all will He furnish, if you be about His business and not your own.

Ye have not chosen me, but I have chosen you, and ordained you, that ye should go and bring forth fruit , and that your fruit should remain (John 15:16).

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~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~

Declaration of Inner Independence

If I have freedom in my love,
and in my soul I am free,
Angels alone that soar above,
enjoy such liberty.

~ Richard Lovelace ~

Today we celebrate the birth of our free nation. Yet even more important than national freedom is internal freedom. We may live in a democratic society, but unless we are free of the inner bondage of fear and separation, we are not truly free.

Today, break free of the power you have given others to make or break your life. While others may invite, suggest, guide, or influence you, ultimately you alone must live with the choices you make, and so you must choose in accordance with your heart's guidance. lf you have given any person power over your life, take back your power now. No one can hurt you, and no one can save you unless you ordain it.

Today, declare a revolution of consciousness. Oust the old dictators of self-doubt, attack thoughts, jealousy, and the replaying of old negative patterns of thought and feeling, and replace them with a belief in yourself, trust in the wisdom of life, positive visualization and speech, and the willingness to be grand.

Today, move beyond human politics, and find unity at the core of your being. At the center of yourself, all states of consciousness within you merge into wholeness. Your economy is based on love: the more love you give, the more you have.

Today, let the world know that you are a sovereign and powerful nation, comprised of all the experiences and wisdom you have gleaned over a lifetime. Raise the lamp of liberty high, that all may know that you stand for truth.

I pray to walk in peace and freedom, shining as a model of integrity to all.

I am free, and I give freedom.

[bluidkiti]

July 5

Step by Step

"It helped me a great deal to become convinced that alcoholism was a disease, not a moral issue; that I had been drinking as a result of a compulsion, even though I had not been aware of the compulsion at the time; and that sobriety was not a matter of willpower. The people of AA had something that looked much better than what I had, but I was afraid to let go of what I had in order to try something new; there was a certain sense of security in the familiar." - Alcoholics Anonymous, 3rd Edition, 1976, Ch 17 ("Doctor, Alcoholic, Addict"), p 448.

Today, wisdom to understand that the "security" I thought I had in alcohol was actually the predictability of its outcome. I need look no further than yesterday to know that my drinking progressed and never regressed, that its consequences became gradually harsher and that the court's sentence was pretty much what it was with all the other DUI's before. Today, I give up that false sense of security that is really nothing more than predictability and take a chance on what is not familiar - sobriety. At least with sobriety, I don't have the boredom of knowing the outcome because the outcome of my drinking was always the same. Maybe the unpredictability of the benefits of sobriety is worth the effort. And our common journey continues. Step by step. - Chris M.

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~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~

HUMOR

Pain is deeper than all thought; laughter is higher than all pain.

~ Elbert Hubbard ~

The world of recovery has given us back a sense of humor. We have learned to laugh at ourselves and laugh hard. The gloomy seriousness that hung over us like a dark cloud is removed and replaced. We begin to see our past history that caused us such misery in a different light. We come to appreciate the humor in our game-playing, our inflated egos, our power-driven ambitions, our grandiose plans, our perfectionism, and our silly poutings.

We've discovered laughter and humor as a medicine to heal wounds. We laugh uproariously at the stories of others as they remember their past. We don't laugh to belittle our friends, but to share in the release of our pain and the fact that times are oh, so different now.

I have gotten off my pedestal and off my pity pot and have joined the human race as just a fellow traveler. Life looks a lot funnier when both my feet are on the ground.

**************************************************

~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~

A community is like a ship, everyone ought to be prepared to take the helm.

~ Henrik Ibsen ~

A good life is blessed with many communities. There are neighborhoods, schools, synagogues, churches, mosques, groups of friends, workplaces, and Twelve Step recovery groups. We became alienated from our communities when we were attached to our addictions and codependency. The all-consuming demands of our misguided lives left little room for genuine participation in the human network.

On our path, we now treasure these connections. We are participants in the bonds of warmth and the many good relationships that surround us. We don’t have to be the center of attention or the main focus in order to feel included. We contribute to the networks that we are part of by simply being good men, and by taking our share of the duties that make a better community for us all.

Today I will seek to make a positive contribution to the communities in my life.

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~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~

Putting your emotional well-being in the hands of someone else is like riding a roller coaster into infinity.

~ Anonymous ~

Giving someone else the power to make us sad or happy, angry or hopeful, confident or insecure, is never beneficial. Taking charge of how we feel guarantees us as much happiness as we desire. This surprises many of us. Why didn’t we know it before?

Codependency is common among women, particularly those of us who are dependent on mood- altering chemicals. Our search for security has endangered us more than once. We have followed others down dangerous paths when we thought love was the reward. We have denied our common sense when seeking the approval of others. We have put our values aside for a moment of acceptance. However, each moment is a chance for a new decision about who is in charge of how we feel. We can begin now to make a difference in our lives.

I may not be happy today, but no one else has the power to decide that for me unless I give someone that power.

**************************************************

~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~

My meeting keeps me out of my shell

When I feel psychologically weak or sick and upset with myself, I don't want to see anyone and I don't want anyone to see me. I prefer to stay home and stay angry and ashamed.

I am learning, however, that it is not safe to go into this shell. If I retreat, if I stay stuck in my shame, I risk relapse. In the long run I feel better when I go to a meeting. There I feel safer with my emotions and experiences. I accept myself more when I come together with people who accept, understand, and care about me.

I will attend two meetings a week to stay out of my shell and remain stable.

*************************************************

~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~

There is no fear in love; but perfect love casteth out fear.

~ John 4:18 ~

Fear of people is usually a fear of rejection or disapproval, often brought about by our own sense of unworthiness. Feeling we are without value, we may settle for less than we are entitled to or less than we could have. It is difficult to strive for closeness with others, or to better ourselves, when we believe the answer will be “no.”

But as we learn to love ourselves better, we no longer fear rejection. We know that we are valuable and unique, with or without the validation of other people. We can risk being ourselves. Coming to accept the love of our Higher Power grants us a new, confident serenity that helps us overcome fear. As our spirituality grows, we feel more confident and worthy of love. We are able to face our fears with a serenity that increases every new day.

Today I pray I may always walk with full awareness of God’s presence and perfect love.

**************************************************

~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~

Nature never said to me: Do not be poor; still less did she say: Be rich; her cry to me was always: Be independent.

~ Sebastien-Roch Nicolas de Chamfort ~

You may think that recovery has taken away your freedom because you can no longer do the thing you most want to do—engage in your habit. Because you are in recovery, you may feel that you have simply gone from wearing one set of shackles to donning another.

But you awaken each day in recovery with a choice that is yours to make: to use or not to use. What you choose is up to you, and so this reflects that you do, indeed, still have your freedom. All of the actions you take today will be based on this choice. All of your choices will not only guide your life in the direction you have chosen to travel, but also symbolize your independence from dependence.

Today you have immense freedom. You can choose to be clean and sober. You can choose which tools of the program you will use. You can choose which meetings to attend. You can choose a sponsor. You can choose to share your story with others. You can choose to reach out to a Higher Power. And you can choose the changes you would like to make.

I will celebrate the independence recovery gives me.

**************************************************

~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~

Silence propagates itself, and the longer talk has been suspended, the more difficult it is to find anything to say.

~ Samuel Johnson ~

Remember growing up with a parent or other family member who showed anger by "the silent treatment”? How infuriating it was to experience this. One person would be attempting to make things right or provoke a response while the other would maintain a "lips sealed" policy.

Forced silence can be as devastating as the most angry most vicious comment. Forced silence is a wall erected in front of the vocal chords so human communication cannot scale it.

The silent treatment, like inappropriate anger, is not the way to patch rips in the fabric of our human support system. Unless we break the soundless barrier, the wall will become nearly impossible to tear down. Tonight we can look back to any relationship that's in jeopardy and seek to mend it by human communication.

Is there someone in my life with whom I haven't communicated for a while? It's up to me to scale the wall of silence before I lose that person forever.

**************************************************

~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~

Staying clean and sober through the holidays

Holidays have been the time when getting high was easiest to justify. Either we joined in the festivities, or we used our sadness, anxiety, or anger as an excuse. Now that we are clean and sober, we realize that on holidays we don’t have to escape anymore. We have a choice.

We wake up in the morning, appreciate being clean and sober, and just live the day to the best of our abilities. No longer do we fear the festivities, the free time or pressures; no longer do we fear our sadness, anxiety, or anger.

Am I overcoming the need to escape?

Thank you, Higher Power, for this day (as well as all others); may I make the most of it.

I will make the most of today’s holiday by

God help me to stay clean and sober today!

**************************************************

~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~

Whatever you can do or dream you can do, begin it.

~ JOHANN WOLFGANG VON GOETHE ~

Newcomer

I signed up to take a course in something I’m kind of interested in. I’m pretty anxious about it. I don’t have the skills and experience that the other students have. I don’t know if I can keep up with the work and still go to enough meetings. And even if I get through it, I doubt that I can afford to go further.

Sponsor

First, let me congratulate you for the courage and self-esteem it took for you to begin something new in recovery. Recovery is not an end in itself; as we frequently hear in meetings, it’s a bridge back to life. Education is a path that beckons many recovering people. Taking just one step, like signing up for a course, furthers you on your journey.

At the same time, you’ll want to take care to protect your recovery as you engage in new pursuits. Staying close to the program by going to regular and frequent meetings is still the top priority for anyone who doesn’t want to relapse. The work we do to maintain our recovery is what makes everything else possible.

As for your doubts and fears, it’s natural for them to come up. Instead of giving them too much attention, you can use this opportunity to calm and center yourself with meditation and to ask in prayer for help and courage in carrying out your Higher Power’s will for you.

Today, I take a small step forward on my journey, without judging myself or my rate of progress.

**************************************************

~ THE EYE OPENER ~

It is often the case that great scholars make the acquiring of knowledge a goal instead of a means to a goal.

If you thoroughly learned all the lessons in AA by heart and made no use of it you would find it but a waste of time and effort.

You must put your new-found knowledge to work, you must pass it on or it will be not only valueless to humanity but, in all probability, of no material help to you.

**************************************************

~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~

Thanksgiving Prayer—Native American

Great and Eternal Mystery of Life,
Creator of All Things, I give thanks for
the beauty You put in every single one of
Your creations.

I am grateful that You did not fail in
making every stone, plant, creature, and
human being a perfect and whole part of
the Sacred Hoop.

I am grateful that You have allowed me
to see the strength and beauty of
All My Relations.

My humble request is that all of the
children of Earth will learn to see the
same perfection themselves.

May none of Your human children doubt
or question Your wisdom, grace, and
sense of wholeness in giving all of
Creation a right to be living extensions
of Your perfect love.

*************************************************

~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~

AN INEXHAUSTIBLE SUPPLY

As far as God is concerned, there is no check of any kind upon the amount of divine energy that we can appropriate, or, therefore, upon the things that we can do or be. Yet, for practical purposes, you can draw from the inexhaustible Source only in accordance with the measure of your understanding, just as you can draw water from the Atlantic only in accordance with the size of the vessel that you use. Almost everyone is foolishly content to fill his pitcher. small as it may be, to somewhere very short of the top.

The true manner of God's working is illustrated by a simple anecdote. A certain man was working in his garden, assisted by his little girl who had undertaken the task of watering the lawn by means of the usual rubber hose. Suddenly she cried out: "Daddy, the water has stopped." The father looked over, and, taking in the situation quietly, said, "'Well, take your foot off the hose."

The ultimate cause of all our troubles is just this. Behind all secondary and proximate causes lies the same primary mistake. We have been pressing our feet and the whole weight of our mentality upon the pipe line of life, and then complaining because the water does not flow.

And the Lord shall guide thee continually, and satisfy thy soul in drought . . . and thou shalt be like a watered garden, and like a spring of water, whose waters fail not (Isaiah 58: 11).

**************************************************

~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~

Whose Dream?

To thine own self be true.

~ William Shakespeare ~

In the motion picture out of Africa, Karen Blixen uttered a haunting I confession: “My biggest fear was that I would come to the end of my life and discover that I lived someone else's dream."

Many people live, grow old, and die without recognizing the power to manifest their personal destiny. others seize every opportunity to celebrate their gifts and potential.

What is your dream? lf you had unlimited time, money, and support, what would you love to be doing? Take a moment to explore your soul, and unearth your secret fantasy. Would you write a book? Travel to exotic places? Have a family? Learn photography? Open up a specialty restaurant? Establish a healing center? Your dream may be more available than you realize. Perhaps even now you could take a step in the direction of your vision. You could send away for a brochure, talk to an expert, take a class, or make a "treasure map"-a collage of magazine photos and words clustering around your goal.

Live as if your life depends on it.

I am here for a purpose. Show me what I am to do in the name of joy.

Confident and whole, I step forward to claim my destiny.

[bluidkiti]

July 6

Step by Step

Today, simplify and "de-mystify" recovery with three basic but essential concepts: choice, consequences, and personal responsibility. Discarding all the reasons I can produce to "justify" my drinking - I have a compulsion that compels me to feed it with anger, fear, resentment, loneliness, grief. In the end, drinking comes down to an essential truth: it is my choice and mine alone. And my choice to drink, as with all other choices I make, brings consequences, and with those consequences comes responsibility to the consequences. I thus have a simple choice, namely if I want to be responsible to the consequences of my choice to drink. For me, the past consequences of drinking grew progressively harsher, costlier and never less. And because now I do not want to face the consequences, I will not be responsible to them by making a simple but obvious choice: don't drink. Today, I have the choice to drink or not. I pick the latter because the first bears consequences that are too heavy for me. And our common journey continues. Step by step. - Chris M.

**************************************************

~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~

EMPLOYMENT

A man's work is rather the needful supplement to himself than the outcome of it.

~ Max Beerbohm ~

Our time in recovery allows us to redefine our vocation. We no longer seek the "right job" to fulfill our lives. We realize the right job will not make us whole people. We are already complete and need only maintain a conscious contact with our Higher Power to remain so. We need to work and earn money so we can feed, clothe, and shelter ourselves and our loved ones, but to demand from our job any greater significance will tempt us to create a Higher Power out of our work. We know the resentment and anxiety we cause ourselves whenever we do this.

Many times in recovery we may find ourselves in positions and jobs that seem strange to us. Not to worry; God has a plan for us that we sometimes cannot understand. We remember to increase our Program service work when we get too upset about our employment concerns.

The life of recovery is avocation in itself. I will remember a job is a job. Recovery is a way of life.

**************************************************

~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~

You’re never too old to grow up.

~ Shirley Conran ~

A child’s view of adults is that they have arrived at some fixed point where they are emancipated and have all the tools necessary for life. An adult knows that we never stop growing. Many of us have been stuck in an immature level of development. Our life stresses and our addictions took us off the track of emotional growth. We found substitutes and evasions for truly dealing with the normal life problems. Now we are back on the much more rewarding path of truly living and growing.

We accept the adult wisdom that we all need help and we all continue to learn and grow throughout our life span. We finally feel like adults because we take responsibility for our actions. We don’t blame others for our problems, and when our days feel challenging, we can ask for help. Back on our path, we are never alone.

Today I am grateful to be on the path of dealing with my life and continuing to grow truly stronger.

**************************************************

~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~

I always thought some people were just bom with self-esteem and others not. The fact is, the people with self-esteem may have learned to develop it sooner than others, and now it’s my turn

~ Laurel Lewis ~

One element of our growth is making new choices for ourselves. One of our choices is to have the self-esteem that is our right as a human being.

Some women may have never struggled with low self-esteem. Certainly, many women were born into families where unconditional love helped to develop the kind of self-esteem we crave. Yet with the help of this program and our Higher Power, we too will begin to feel a full measure of self-esteem.

Having self-esteem is really nothing more than beginning to understand and then accepting our worthiness in this vast panorama called life. We have always mattered to God and our fellow travelers, or we wouldn’t be here. It’s our beliefs that need to change—nothing more. We are worthy and loved children of God.

Self-esteem does not have to elude me today. My worth is guaranteed. God doesn’t make junk!

**************************************************

~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~

I am having a spiritual awakening

When I first got into the program, I felt a serious burden. It was all I could do to cope with my addiction and psychiatric illness. For a while, working even Step One seemed too difficult.

It's hard to describe, but these days I feel lighter. I've been working the Steps as best I can and my effort is paying off. I still have some problems to deal with, but they no longer seem overwhelming. Nor do I feel badly about having them; they're simply part of the process I am working on. They may still hurt, but the pain is bearable because I understand and accept this process. I have faith that they will be resolved.

I will use Step Twelve to quietly pass along my experience, strength, and hope.

*************************************************

~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~

Prayer does not change God but changes him who prays.

~ Soren Kierkegaard ~

How often we pray for our will to be done. We pray for riches, prestige, a certain outcome in uncertain times. We pray with the idea that if we pray hard enough, and in the right way, God will hear our pleas and grant our special wishes.

But are these prayers any more than those of a small child who wants his or her own way, a list of requests and demands?

As we pray, we need to confide in our Higher Power, to share our concerns, worries, and joys. As we share these concerns with God, we hear ourselves with new insight. We come to realize that God has already given us all we need to be happy. We come to accept that we can let go of demands, and ask instead for courage and strength.

As we spend time listening, our prayers gradually change as we change. In time, we learn, not my will, but Thy will, be done. God does not change — we change.

Today I thank You for changing me through prayer. Help me to continue to pray for knowledge of Your will.

**************************************************

~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~

In stillness the world is restored.

~ Lao Tzu ~

To be able to sit and let your mind wander is a form of meditation. You can close your eyes and simply focus on your breathing. Pay attention to what it feels like to take in a deep, cleansing breath of air and then slowly release it along with the toxins from your body.

When you combine focused breathing with imagery— creating a picture in your mind that replicates the gentle action of taking in the good and releasing the bad—you make your meditation more powerful. Imagine ocean waves coming to shore and then slowly receding. Or think of a morning glory slowly opening up to sunshine, and then gently closing as daylight dims.

While meditating, you can also release tension from your body. Begin with your hands. As you expand your lungs, slowly squeeze your hands into fists. Then, as you exhale, open your fists and relax your hands. Do this with each muscle group in your body, and you will feel a wonderful relaxation spread throughout your entire body. You may also enjoy greater focus and concentration, a more positive outlook, and renewed energy.

I begin my day with a meditation consisting of focused breathing, imagery, and muscle relaxation. I will use this same meditation at night to help me unwind from the day’s activities.

**************************************************

~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~

Panics, in some cases, have their uses. Their duration is always short; the mind soon grows through them and acquires a firmer habit than before.

~ Thomas Paine ~

Any anxious feeling is a signal that needs attention. It means there's something going on, and it's a way our bodies communicate that they are being overwhelmed. If we ask ourselves what’s going on, we might hear answers of frustration, shame, guilt, or fear over things that are over and done with or things that have yet to occur.

One of the ways to get through an attack is to center ourselves in the present. We can do this by remembering the date, time, and temperature. Then we can identify objects around us, including what we're wearing. This exercise will bring us back into the present where we won't have the feelings that contributed to our attacks. When our minds are clear, we can learn from anxiety and grow through it.

Tonight I can keep myself in the present by identifying the things and people around me that exist for this moment.

**************************************************

~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~

First things first

There is no substitute for the Twelve Step program, but that doesn’t exclude other forms of mutual or professional help. Some of us may need a firm foundation in the program, however, before other activities and therapies can be added without causing confusion.

If we are chemically dependent, we need to work with others who are chemically dependent in order to recover. If we combine other kinds of help to meet our needs, we neglect our Twelve Step work at the risk of relapse. Am I putting first things first?

Higher Power, help me realize what my program does for me and to keep it strong.

I will make a commitment to my program today by

God help me to stay clean and sober today!

**************************************************

~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~

I could get through anything, if only I didn’t have to have my feelings!

~ WOMAN IN RECOVERY ~

Newcomer

Someone I counted as a friend has rejected me. I’m trying to be brave about it, but I’ve been on the verge of tears all day today. I’m embarrassed to be so needy.

Sponsor

“Trying to be brave” about a hurt sounds admirable, but is it really bravery?

Acknowledging and accepting our feelings is not a sign of weakness, but the opposite. True bravery in my opinion, is not picking up a drink, a drug, a compulsive behavior. That takes courage, especially for someone who’s been using addiction as a tool for survival.

I’m sorry that you’ve experienced a rejection, and I want you to know that your feelings about it don’t lower my opinion of you. On the contrary, I admire your honesty and openness in speaking about what’s happening. Your vulnerability is human and real. When you don’t deny your feelings or dismiss yourself for having them, in time they will pass through you, and there will be room for new ones.

Today, I extend compassion to myself. My dedication to recovery reminds me that I have real courage.

**************************************************

~ THE EYE OPENER ~

Youth might be termed a zest for living. As long as we have enthusiasm for living we are young, regardless of years. Too often the alcoholic has taken so many hard knocks from life that life has lost its attraction, We have seen so many hopes and ambitions fade that life appears to us a total loss.

AA brings into our lives a new purpose in living; it restores our faith and hope, and thereby rejuvenates our minds to the point of a new zest for living.

**************************************************

~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~

Where There Is Charity and Wisdom

Where there is charity and wisdom, there is neither fear nor ignorance.
Where there is patience and humility, there is neither anger nor annoyance.
Where there is love and joy, there is neither greed nor selfishness.
Where there is peace and meditation, there is neither anxiety nor doubt.

~ by St. Francis of Assisi ~

*************************************************

~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~

SELF ANALYSIS

Jesus told us that we always demonstrate our consciousness. We always demonstrate what we habitually have in our mind. What sort of mind have you! Do not let anyone else tell you, because they do not know. People who like you will think your mentality is better than it is; those who do not like you will think it is worse. Just examine your conditions and see what you are demonstrating. This method is scientific and infallible.

If an automobile engineer is working out a new design for an engine, for instance, he doesn't say: "l wonder what Smith thinks about this. I like Smith. If Smith is against this I won't try it." Nor does he say, "l won't try this idea because it comes from France." He is impersonal and unemotional about it. He says, "l will test it out, and decide by the results I obtain." All that anyone can do for you is to help you change your thought. You yourself must keep it changed. No one else can think for you. "No man can save his brother's soul or pay his brother's debt."

. . . and I will put o new spirit within you . . . (Ezekiel 11:19).

**************************************************

~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~

Do You Agree?

Where two or more are gathered in my name, there am I.

~ Jesus Christ ~

“You need to replace a small metal roller about the size of a pencil," my laser printer technician told me. "Although it's a little part, you have to buy the cartridge to which it is attached, which costs about $700, plus a hundred dollars labor."

I could not believe that I needed to pay $800 for a roller the size of a pencil. I turned to my assistant Noel and asked her, "Do you agree that I can get this job done for less money?" Noel agreed enthusiastically.

I called another technician who offered to sell me the cartridge at wholesale cost which, with labor, would total $550. The estimate still sounded too outrageous to be true. Again, I turned to Noel and asked her, "Do you agree that I can get this machine fixed for a fraction of the original estimate?"

"l know you can!" she answered.

I made a few more calls and found a technician who told me, "Sure, I can replace the roller." The next day he showed up at my office, sat down, took out a screwdriver, disassembled the machine, replaced the roller—without a new cartridge—and put the machine back together, all in about half an hour. As he walked out, he presented me with a bill for $88—one-tenth of the original estimate.

We create our reality by agreement. When two or more agree that something is so, we attract results consonant with our belief. We can agree that we are small and powerless, or we can agree that we are co-creators with God. Never agree to your limits, but always agree to your infinite power. The universe will grow whatever you plant with your intentions.

I pray that my thoughts and beliefs deliver me to an ever more loving and expansive universe.

I agree with my good and reject all else.

[bluidkiti]

July 7

Step by Step

"I couldn't stomach religion, and I didn't like the mention of God or any of the other capital letters. If that was the way out, it wasn't for me.
" ...(B)ut I ran into a personal crisis which filled me with a raging and righteous anger. And as I fumed helplessly and planned to get good and drunk and show them, my eye caught a sentence in the book lying open on my bed: 'We cannot live with anger.' The walls crumbled - and the light streamed in. ...I was free ...This wasn't 'religion' - this was freedom!" - Alcoholics Anonymous, 3rd Edition, 1976, Ch 4 ("Women Suffer Too"), pp 227-8.

Today, if I continue to reject terms like Higher Power or God, let the force stronger than myself be given another name - freedom! Freedom to take back control and refuse bondage to alcohol, guilt, resentment, anger, fear, loneliness and self-pity, to emerge from my self-imposed isolation. Freedom to begin again, this time with the determination for a life that is better, minus all that physical, emotional and spiritual damage stemming from compulsive and addictive drinking. And chances are that the stronger force I call freedom will someday become my Higher Power. And our common journey continues. Step by step. - Chris M.

**************************************************

~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~

KNOWLEDGE

When you know a thing, to hold that you know it, and when you do not know a thing, to allow that you do not know it: this is knowledge.

~ Confucius ~

How is it we can hear so much better after we have worked our Steps? Does someone clean the wax out of our ears at night? We find ourselves able to listen to what people are actually saying, not just what we think they are saying. Our Program teaches us not to judge words before or after they are spoken. We leave judging to God. We try to learn from everybody, for each person we meet has knowledge.

Knowledge has become available to us as never before. We no longer fear new ideas and opinions which are not our own. Our recovery becomes deeper each moment we open our minds to new ideas.

Knowledge is freely offered. In turn, I keep myself growing and accepting the knowledge that comes my way. When I don't know something, I admit it. Knowing that I don't know is also knowledge.

**************************************************

~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~

It is the wounded oyster that mends its shell with pearl.

~ Ralph Waldo Emerson ~

Many of us felt like outsiders in the past. As children we weren’t in the most popular group, or we were picked last when teams were chosen. And almost everyone has been picked on sometimes. As adults our wounds may have been self-inflicted, but no less painful for that. The key question today is, are we still on a track that creates more wounds, or are we on the mend?

There is great spiritual benefit to knowing what it feels like to be a wounded person. It provides the resource that many great men have built their wisdom and perspective upon. We all know men we admire deeply who have come through hard and painful times, not knowing how it would all turn out. They followed this path of healing and spiritual growth and, because of their healing, have become men of the highest quality.

Today I can see my past wounds as a source for spiritual and emotional strength.

**************************************************

~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~

I like to think my purpose in life is to love.

~ Jane Nakken ~

Most would agree that we are here for a reason. Reflecting on where we have come from and the changes that have occurred in our lives, we are convinced that some Power has been present every step of the way. We do have both a purpose and a protector.

The panic to determine our specific purpose is not unusual for addicts like us. We demand absolutes; guesswork frightens us. But finding a sponsor who will tell us that our purpose doesn’t matter will be to our benefit. From her we’ll learn to take our experiences in stride, trusting that we’ll discover who we are and what we need to do next if we accept life as it unfolds.

If we must have a purpose now, choosing to believe our purpose is loving others eases our way. And really, there is no purpose more worthy any-way.

Today I will express to others the love I know my Higher Power has for me. It’s the best action I can take.

**************************************************

~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~

I feel stronger when I focus on the positive

Since I have a dual disorder, I can easily obsess about my past, my pain, my problems. But this does not help (as I'm finding out). When I focus on my weaknesses or liabilities, I just feel weaker.

I understand that in dual recovery it is important to be aware of character defects and my behavior. But what I need to concentrate on is the present, my progress, and what I am doing to recover. When I focus on my strengths or assets, I get what I need: more strength.

Today I will write out two affirmations about my strengths and remind myself of them at meals.

*************************************************

~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~

Freedom is a system based on courage.

~ Charles Peguy ~

Perhaps the most difficult thing to reclaim is our freedom. During active addiction, freedom was often a word we used to rationalize sick behavior and avoid being responsible for ourselves. We lost all hope of happiness and growth.

Now we know that true freedom comes only from the courageous act of surrender. When we accept God’s help in defeating our addiction, we find again the supreme freedom and happiness that come to one who has overcome the impossible.

With our new courage, and with the help of our Higher Power, we’re learning to share our freedom and happiness with others.

Today let me be grateful for all of God’s remarkable, freedom-producing gifts. How happy I am to be a part of Your world.

**************************************************

~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~

I am beginning to learn that it is the sweet, simple things of life which are the real ones after all.

~ Laura Ingalls Wilder ~

It is often advised in meetings to check your baggage at the door. What this means is that too often there is a tendency to drag everything around with you in recovery: your past, your childhood issues, everything and everyone you have lost, your anger or sadness, your inability to forgive yourself and others, and more. Such things can weigh you down to such an extent that they can prevent you from moving forward.

Similarly, the greater the number of physical things you carry around with you, the more overwhelmed you may feel about life in general. Take time to look into your closets and go through your bureau drawers. Peer into your garage, basement, and attic. Then ask yourself, “What do I really need?”

Mother Mary Madeleva once said, “I like to go to Marshall Field’s in Chicago just to see how many things there are in the world that I do not want.” So too can you start to use a critical eye in reviewing the possessions that stuff your life.

I will take the time to assess not only what I need to carry around with me in recovery, but also the things in my life.

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~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~

You have learned something. That always feels at first as if you had lost something.

~ George Bernard Shaw ~

We listen as we watch the newcomer cry, “After coming to meetings, I realized my parents couldn't be there for me anymore. They have an addictive disease and I can't get the help I need from them. I feel like I've lost them!" We may nod our heads as we relate these words to our lives.

Didn't we feel like we had lost family, friends, or mates when we began learning the truths in the program? As we learned about addiction, we were faced with just how much we had depended on others to help us. We discovered we weren't who we thought we were. We realized there could be another way of life.

A snake must shed its old skin before the new one can appear. Like furniture, parts of us become worn and uncomfortable. We must replace the old with the new. For every gain, there must be a loss. But instead of mourning our losses tonight, we can rejoice over what we have gained.

I can be grateful for all the gains in my life and in my growth. The losses have allowed me to become stronger and more fruitful.

**************************************************

~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~

Carrying the message

None of us is the ultimate Twelfth-Stepper. Carrying the message of Step Twelve is one of the most important aspects of our recovery, but it can become a problem. The danger is when we try to impress people or get grandiose rather than simply carry the message.

It is not our power or personality that helps people on Step Twelve calls; rather it’s the power and truth of the program working through us. It makes our hands steady and clears our minds. We only carry the message; God delivers it.

Am I a good Twelfth-Stepper?

Higher Power, in carrying the message of recovery to those who still suffer, help me be clear and humble.

Today I will practice humility by

God help me to stay clean and sober today!

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~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~

I can live for two months on a good compliment.

~ MARK TWAIN ~

Newcomer

At a meeting I shared about a loss I’ve gone through, and the response was amazing. People expressed sympathy and understanding, and a number of them shared experiences of their own that were similar to mine. It surprised me. I’d told the same story at a different meeting, and people there didn’t say a thing to me. I had left feeling like there was something wrong with me. I can’t figure out what I did differently this time; maybe there was something about the way I shared.

Sponsor

My hunch is that the difference in response to your sharing from different groups of people had to do with things over which you had no control. There are many possible explanations for people’s responses to us; we needn’t assume we’re responsible for what they do or don’t do.

There’s an Al-Anon slogan (nicknamed “The Three C’s”) that says, “I didn’t cause it, I can’t control it, and I can’t cure it.” For me, it’s a helpful one to remember, especially when people in my life are active in an addiction or are on a “dry drunk.” It’s useful in situations with non-addicts, too. Most human beings behave as they do for reasons that have little to do with us.

We’re entitled to support and response from other human beings. When I find myself in a group where I experience a warm, engaged response from others, I make a point of returning. Support and validation from others quenches one of my deepest thirsts. But we can’t rely on others to give us a sense of self-esteem. That comes from within; it grows as we do the work of recovery.

Today, I go where I find food for my spirit.

**************************************************

~ THE EYE OPENER ~

Remember those days when we were SMART; when we knew our way around; when nobody could tell us what to do; when we actually felt sorry for the dumb SOB's who labored every day and took their pay check home to Mama?

In those days, the world had chosen up sides; we were on one side and everybody else was on the other. We would work them for all we could; they in turn kicked us around at every opportunity.

Frankly, fellows, who was actually smart and who dumb?

**************************************************

~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~

I Must Change

Spirit of the Universe, I pray to remember.
No one can make me change.
No one can stop me from changing.
No one really knows how I must change,
Not even I. Not until I start.
Help me remember that it only takes a slight shift
In direction to begin to change my life.

*************************************************

~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~

HOW TO GET A DEMONSTRATION

Here is one way of solving a problem by scientific prayer.

Get by yourself and be quiet for a few moments. Do not strain to think rightly or to find the right thought, but just be quiet. Remind yourself that the Bible says "Be still, and know that I am God."

Then begin to think about God. Remind yourself of some of the things that you know about Him—that he is present everywhere, that He knows you and loves you and cares for you. Read a few verses of the Bible, or a paragraph from any spiritual book that helps you.

During this state it is important not to think about your problem, but to give your attention to God. In other words, do not try to solve your problem directly (which would be using will power) but rather become interested in thinking of the nature of God.

Next claim the thing that you need. Claim it quietly and confidently, as you would ask for something to which you are entitled. Then give thanks for the accomplished fact as you would if somebody handed you a gift. Jesus said when you pray, believe that you receive and you shall receive.

Do not discuss your treatment with anyone.

In quietness and in confidence shall be your strength . . . (Isaiah 30:15).

**************************************************

~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~

Heir Pollution

A man is made impure not by what goes into his mouth, but by what comes out of it.

~ Jesus Christ ~

A man at a Hindu ashram came to Swami Muktananda and complained, "You must get rid of my roommate! He is a smoker, and his foul smoke is polluting the atmosphere in my room. Someone as vile as he should not be allowed here!"

Muktananda thought for a moment and responded, “I will change your room for his sake, not yours. Polluting thephysical atmosphere with smoke is an offense, but polluting the psychic atmosphere with judgment is worse. You are hurting yourself and the universe more with your anger and judgment than he is with his smoke."

What we do with our bodies is important, but what we do with our minds and hearts is even more important. Because we are all spiritual beings, the condition of our spirit is more real and meaningful than the physical atmosphere. Of course we must take care to keep a clean physical environment, but before that, we must be sure our thoughts are in harmony with a loving and forgiving universe.

We are heirs to the Kingdom of Heaven, which we magnify by thinking and acting in accordance with our identity as godly beings. Fear and judgment muddy our vision of love. Let us claim our inheritance by aligning our minds and hearts with the pure spirits we are.

Let my thoughts reflect divinity; help me walk in the golden atmosphere of truth.

My mind is the mind of God. My heart is a vehicle of pure love.

[bluidkiti]

July 8

Step by Step

"Long since I had come to believe I was insane because I did so many things I didn't want to do. I didn't want to neglect my children. I loved them, I think, as much as any parent. But I did neglect them. I didn't want to get into fights, but I did get into fights. I didn't want to get arrested, but I did get arrested. I didn't want to jeopardize the lives of innocent people by driving an automobile while intoxicated, but I did. I quite naturally came to the conclusion that I must be insane." - Alcoholics Anonymous, 3rd Edition, 1976, Ch 2 ("He Had to be Shown"), p 199.

Today, reach into yesterday to remember and keep always that I did all I thought I could not to drink but that my intentions were little more than the best laid plans of mice and men. In remembering yesterday so I don't repeat today what I did then, may I also recognize and admit that I am powerless over alcohol. And with that admission, I have taken the First Step toward recovery. With that step comes power and control to say I do not have to submit to what I cannot control - alcohol - and that my intention not to do what I don't want to do is in my control. Today, I seize control of what overpowers me by declaring no more. And our common journey continues. Step by step. - Chris M.

**************************************************

~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~

DREAMING

Dreaming permits each and every one of us to be quietly and safely insane every night of our lives.

~ William Dement ~

The mind is wildly active during sleep. We have found in recovery that it takes a long time for our minds to heal. We often wake up in the morning and wonder where we have spent the night.

We must remember that before we came into the Program we did not let ourselves rest. There is a lot of processing our minds must do to catch up on all the time we numbed it closed. We may dream of returning to our active addiction. We may relive scenes so real we will swear they happened.

Not to worry. This too shall pass. We remember to keep our telephone numbers near. A late night call to a sponsor is a great way to slay the dragons of our "drunk dreams." The key to recovery is in Letting Go and Letting God.

As I ask God to take my dreams of the past and replace them with the gifts of today, my reliving of past history will go away.

**************************************************

~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~

Victory is in the quality of competition, not the final score.

~ Mike Marshall ~

Competition is neither good nor bad. It is like any other force that can be used in good ways or bad. For us, winning means being the kind of man we most admire. When we are in a competitive game, whether it is in athletics, business, or a friendly discussion, we strive first to compete in ways that we respect. We don’t give up our moral or human values in order to come out with the top score at the end. We don’t indulge in hate or anger at the other guy simply because he is our competition at the moment. We play fair, we respect others, and we enjoy a good and worthy competitor.

Keeping our eye on the ball means we stay focused on what we are truly trying to win. That is a kind of wisdom that we weren’t born with; we develop it through conscious effort and attention. Today we certainly face some competitive situations, whether it is engaging with a particular co-worker or someone with an opposing viewpoint in a group we are part of. At the end of the day, if we have our values intact, we will have won our best prize.

Today I will be a strong and honorable competitor.

**************************************************

~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~

No one can become a winner without losing many, many times.

~ Marie Lindquist ~

The emphasis our society places on winning— whether it’s a golf tournament, a relationship, or a promotion at work—heightens our shame of losing. And unfortunately, we define ourselves as losers all too easily.

It isn’t possible to excel in every pursuit. Because we compare ourselves with others—this woman who plays tennis like a pro or that woman who just received a promotion—we give ourselves a failing grade. But do we ever look at another woman as a whole? She is just like us, really. Her successes are sprinkled among her many tries that miss their mark.

It takes perseverance to succeed at anything. Perhaps it’s time to redefine success for ourselves and consider just making an attempt to do something well as success. It is, after all.

As long as I try my best at relationships, work, or play today, I will feel good about my efforts.

**************************************************

~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~

I am coming to accept my recovery process

Sometimes I experience strong emotional symptoms, like suddenly becoming angry or afraid. Sometimes I have the urge to use chemicals to feel better (or at least to feel different). Even when I stay clean and sober, I can still feel uneasy at times.

These experiences upset me. Afterward I may feel worn out. But I'm learning that this is what it's like to have a dual disorder, even in the process of dual recovery. Still I am grateful to know something about my illnesses, and grateful to be learning about the many ways I can deal with them-through counseling, support groups or Twelve Step meetings, sponsors or friends, and acceptance.

I will write down this sentence in my journal: "I accept the way I am and my process of recovery." I could even say it out loud to someone who understands me.

*************************************************

~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~

We can move the entire mountain one piece at a time.

~ Chinese Proverb ~

Few important matters are handled well in one massive sweep. After active addiction, we believed we could somehow get several months or years worth of recovery in just a few days. We quickly learned that recovery is a lifelong process, not an event. Yet, what we gain in recovery is well worth the wait. Our journey restores quality at a pace which allows us to appreciate it. Our difficulties become less overwhelming, and we learn to maintain balance by taking small steps. Belonging to a fellowship that helps and celebrates these changes in us enriches each level of our growth. As we strengthen our bodies, clear our minds, and find a conscious contact with our Higher Power, we feel we can start a new life.

Our course will always be determined by the small steps we take each day. Then, one day, we will look back and marvel at all that’s happened and is happening in our growth. And we’ll celebrate the patience we’ve gained in the process.

Today let me see and enjoy the small steps I’m taking.

**************************************************

~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~

Mama exhorted her children at every opportunity to “jump at de sun.” We might not land on the sun, but at least we would get off the ground.

~ Zora Neale Hurston ~

Starting from when you were a child, you may have been pushed into goal-setting. You may have been asked to think about what you wanted to be when you grew up. As you grew older, the questions may have become more persistent: “Are you going to college? What are you going to major in? What do you want to be doing with your life?” Even in your first job interviews, you may have been asked, “Where do you see yourself five years from now?” But the program is not based on goal-setting. While it is important to have a single commitment—not a goal—of achieving abstinence each day, if you create definite goals for your recovery you may set yourself up for failure. You will not be open to testing your strength, to trying new things, to meeting new people, and to giving yourself the freedom to recover at your own pace.

The pace to recovery has been likened to peeling an onion—a layer at a time, not all at once, and not with a pre-set idea of which layer will be removed at a particular time.

I will set goals in my life, but I will let my recovery unfold.

**************************************************

~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~

When we are tired, we are attacked by ideas we conquered long ago.

~ Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche ~

Many times our late night thinking is like a late night movie. It can be scary, it's usually of poor quality, and it makes little sense. Trying to understand ourselves or to make decisions during such times only leads to crazy thoughts.

When we can't apply the Steps and the principles of the program because our minds are running like a late night movie, we have only one alternative to insanity. That's to go to bed. Shut off the movie reel and go to sleep. When our bodies are tired, our muscles can't perform and we're left with little energy. This kind of thinking is our mind's only way of telling us that it needs rest. We need to respect this.

The program works for us when we're alert, focused, and able to process healthy thinking. Tired minds breed tired thoughts—thoughts we've been over many times. The cure for a tired mind is an alert one, and the medicine is a good night’s sleep!

Tonight I can shut off the late night movie reels of my mind and go to sleep. Sleep is my Higher Power's gift to help my mind get the rest it needs.

**************************************************

~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~

Letting go of anger

As long as anger dominates us, it is difficult to make progress in the program. Some of the ways anger shows up include gossip, slander, backstabbing, profanity, fault-finding, resentment, quarrelsomeness, impatience, mockery, and irritability. We are all guilty of these behaviors to some degree, probably every day.

Anger is a pattern that we need to change to make progress. It has probably caused more grief than any other character defect. To let go of anger, we inventory it; we pray to release it and to practice not getting angry.

Am I working on my anger?

Higher Power, help me to practice the virtues of patience and love. When I am loving, I cannot be angry.

I will inventory my anger today, and then I will

God help me to stay clean and sober today!

**************************************************

~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~

Change in all things is sweet.

~ ARISTOTLE ~

Newcomer

I don’t know why I’m still going through such emotional ups and downs at this point. I’m not in withdrawal, my body chemistry is no longer in chaos, and I know how to take better care of myself. I’m open to many new things, and I’m growing and changing faster than I ever expected. Why should I feel bad?

Sponsor

Each time I reach a new awareness, I have to go through a grieving process for the old me. Suddenly it feels as if I’m someone else, somewhere else. I’m not the person I was yesterday. Even if that person was less conscious and closer to active addiction, still, that person was the me I knew. Sometimes I miss that old familiar self. We’d spent a lot of time together.

Recovery awakens us to new possibilities. We have to change, experiment, take risks—even though we may think we detest change! Being alive and having joy sustains us. We may not have all the answers, but we want to ask the questions. Taking time for daily meditation helps us to find the peace and calm at our center. As recovery continues, the sense that everything is moving too quickly will slow down.

Today, though things may not be different, I am different.

**************************************************

~ THE EYE OPENER ~

The spoke that is on top of the wheel will be, in half a revolution, on the bottom and in the mud. Another half turn and it will be on the top again.

The same applies to us alcoholics. We, too, have our cycles, but in the AA Program we have acquired a faith in ourselves, a reliance on our fellowship and a belief in a Power Greater than Ourselves that enable us to take our bad along with the good in full knowledge that if we "stay right" everything will turn out right eventually.

**************************************************

~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~

Prayer for Natural Disasters

O God of Goodness,
In the mystery of natural disasters, we look to You,
Trusting that there is an explanation that will
Satisfy our minds and hearts.
Accept our compassion for our fellow men,
Our desire for their relief,
And hope and wisdom to accept
The forces of nature.

*************************************************

~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~

A THRILLING EXPERIMENT

Why not make the following experiment, which will not only be thrillingly interesting, but will certainly teach you more in one day than you could learn from books or lectures in many weeks.

Here is what you have to do. For one whole day think, speak, and act exactly as you would if you were absolutely convinced of the truth of the statements that God has all power and infinite intelligence, and that His nature is infinite goodness and love.

To think in this manner all day will be the most difficult thing, because thought is so subtle. To speak in accordance with these truths will be easier, if you are vigilant. To act in accordance with them will be the easiest part, although it may require much in the way of moral courage.

And being fully persuaded that, what he had promised, he was able also to perform (Romans 4:21).

**************************************************

~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~

Beyond Appearances

The light of the spirit is invisible, concealed in all beings. It is seen by the seers of the subtle, when their vision is keen and clear.

~ The Upanishads ~

A man in search of enlightenment found his way to a remote village in India, where a saint was known to live and teach. After a long and grueling quest, he was told by a local merchant that he could find the guru on the steps of a certain house near a particular intersection. The man rushed to the site, where he found a tipsy man drinking. Disappointed, he returned to the shop and complained that he had found only a drunkard. The shopkeeper laughed and told him, "That was the saint!"

Astonished, the man argued, "But no saint would be sitting there drinking!"

"This one does," answered the merchant. "You see, he is a very advanced soul who has mastered nearly all the lessons of life. The only experience he needs to complete is passion for those with addictions. Once he has mastered that, he will have finished his incarnations on earth. If you would have talked to him, you would have discovered that behind his worldly guise, he is a great and illumined master."

We must not let our judgments and expectations stand in the way of receiving blessings when they are offered. We may have preconceived notions about what a holy person would look like or how one would act. But wise and holy people come in many different packages, sometimes very unlike the ones we expect. The truth is knowable not by its form, but by its essence.

I pray to keep my mind open to find You in all places.
Let me be bigger than my judgments and expectations.

My mind and heart are open to receive the gifts of Spirit.

[bluidkiti]

July 9

Step by Step

"If you think you are an atheist, an agnostic, a skeptic or have any other form of intellectual pride which keeps you from accepting what is in this book, I feel sorry for you. If you still think you are strong enough to beat the game alone, that is your affair. But if you really and truly want to quit drinking liquor for good and all and sincerely feel that you must have some help, we know that we have an answer for you. It never fails, if you go about it with one-half the zeal you have been in the habit of showing when you were getting another drink.
"Your Heavenly Father will never let you down!" - Alcoholics Anonymous, 3rd Edition, 1976, Part 1 ("Doctor Bob's Nightmare"), p 181.

Today, timeless wisdom that echoes through the years, and its message is simple: do I earnestly thirst sobriety and recovery, or am I copping out with "intellectual pride" to dismiss AA as ineffective? If I am desperate enough to want to stop drinking and begin recovery, I need to discard any skewed or phony intelligence and "go to any lengths" to sober up. But if I am not yet willing to yield to the program because of some intellectual skepticism or an unwillingness to believe that a power stronger than myself may actually exist, maybe I'm not yet desperate enough to "go to any lengths" - or hit my bottom. Today, my intelligence and pride that probably enabled my drinking go down the toilet - along with the vomit from last night's drunk. Today, I'm desperate enough. And our common journey continues. Step by step. - Chris M.

**************************************************

~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~

THE PROBLEM

Coming together is a beginning keeping together is progress; working together is success.

~ Anonymous ~

One of the biggest problems of addiction began with the initial desire to increase and continue to use an addictive substance. All of us who have gotten to the point of overdoing the consumption of a substance were basically, in some manner, filling a need to be what we thought was "normal" like other people.

We were convinced we were unworthy, inadequate, afraid, and lonely whenever we compared ourselves to others. We disconnected and isolated ourselves, not only from our peers, but from our own real selves. We lived in a world of fantasy.

Our problem was more than a physical hunger for the things that made us dependent." It was also not dealing with crazy thinking, self-defeating behavior, and screwed-up emotions.

Today, I'll remember addiction is two-fold: one was my substance use and the other was an irrational thinking problem.

**************************************************

~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~

Don’t go around saying the world owes you a living.
The world owes you nothing. It was here first.

~ Mark Twain ~

Some men have a very passive attitude about their life. While they may seem to have a lot of bravado, they feel dependent on the inside and look to others to supply what they need. When it doesn’t come, they feel hurt, neglected, and angry. Others see their life as a gift from the beginning. Opportunities may be more or less available, but they use what they have to create a life that has meaning. They don’t settle for negative thinking and they develop a rewarding inner world.

We can change our attitude toward our lives. All of us have some unproductive, negative thoughts that only keep us stuck. Perhaps we have old resentments that burden our days, or we hold on to old debts that could never be repaid. To free ourselves to live fully, we can consciously and deliberately reshape these thoughts. We can shift our attention from what we don’t have to what is possible now.

Today I am grateful for the gift of life, and I will take my life and grow from here.

**************************************************

~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~

I’ve become stronger and more positive as I’ve experienced life.

~ Jo Ann Reed ~

With the help of the program we grow through our fears while we mature. As little girls, many things may have scared us—and for some of us, with good reason. The abuse or dysfunction we may have lived through made us wary of many people and situations.

We can’t change the past. Whatever we experienced must be reckoned with. But we can believe that this program, the Twelve Steps, and the women who share our journey can help us accept the past, forgive the injustices, and become willing to believe in the possibility of a good life.

Because we’re still here, we undoubtedly have a purpose to fulfill. We can learn what our special purpose is by opening ourselves to the messages we get from our trusted friends and from God in prayer. In time we’ll perhaps see that the experiences we had as children give us special insights as adults. We are unfolding through the grace of God.

Today I will not be fear-filled. I am strong. My friends, God, and this program give me all the strength I need.

**************************************************

~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~

I am learning about side effects

I don’t understand—I didn't feel this tired before I started taking medication. I feel jittery and I'm often thirsty. What's especially hard is that with these changes I often feel irritable.

When I mentioned this medication problem to my doctor, whom I trust, she helped me understand it. I learned that (a) by itself, recovering from a dual disorder takes a lot of energy; (b) I am still getting over the effects of street drugs in my body; (c) my medication may well cause some jitteriness and thirstiness; it's a common complaint. Knowing all this helps me relax with these changes and discomforts.

To help adjust to the side effects, I will rest when I need it, practice a relaxation exercise, drink fluids, and avoid coffee especially before bed.

*************************************************

~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~

We're our own worst critics. By far.

~ Julie F. ~

When we make amends, we often forget the person we really harmed over and over again — ourselves. Many of us mercilessly beat ourselves up. We are relentless with self-criticism. When it comes to ourselves, we are totally unforgiving.

The Twelve Steps remind us to take inventory and make amends to those we have harmed. This includes family, friends, fellow employees — and also ourselves.

Now we realize we need to be gentler on ourselves. We need to be less critical. We are working a recovery program now and things are getting better. We can lighten up. Mentally beating ourselves up creates a spiral of self-criticism and self-blame, and we don’t deserve it. We can learn to recognize self- criticism, and replace it with self-love. We can replace pessimism with an optimistic, new appreciation for our unique selves. We find we do deserve it.

Today let me be a best friend to myself.

**************************************************

~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~

For nearly 30 years, I have been saying Alcoholics Anonymous is the most effective self-help group in the world. The good accomplished by this fellowship is inestimable.... God bless A.A.

~ Ann Landers ~

For more than seventy years scientists, psychologists, doctors, and others have tried to figure out why Alcoholics Anonymous works. While not everyone who enters AA is cured, for those who stay it can be a life-transforming experience.

What makes AA work? It could be that the program helps develop a spiritual awareness that gives AA members greater meaning and purpose to their lives. Perhaps it is the consistent message of the Big Book, AA’s sacred text. Maybe it is the Twelve Steps and their logical progression to recovery. Or perhaps the admission “I am an alcoholic” develops a greater acceptance and understanding.

While we may not truly comprehend how the program works, we can witness the power in its fellowship. Such Unity provides much-needed emotional support and lifts the spirits of each person, so that one and all understand, “I am not alone.” And, when AA members share their story in the public forum provided by a meeting, both the Speaker and listener are engaged in a dialogue that can lead to greater self-awareness.

I keep coming to AA because it works.

**************************************************

~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~

You take yourself too serious! You are too **** important in your own mind. That must be changed!

~ Carlos Castaneda ~

How can we appreciate the world around us if we're blinded by our self-importance? Like the horse who wears blinders, we only see ourselves apart from everything else. We miss the natural beauty and the loveliness of human nature if we only have a mirror before our eyes.

Losing self-importance begins by opening our eyes and ears to those around us. By listening to others, we learn our lives and experiences are not unique. By looking around us, we see we have the same good qualities—and bad traits—as others.

Today may have been a day when we were blinded by our own self-importance. Yet tonight we can remember we are no better—and no worse—than anyone else. Tonight we can take off our blinders and become part of the world around us.

What uniqueness can I recall in the people around me today?

**************************************************

~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~

Working on problems

Once we’re clean and sober, then we complain about all our problems: We have bills, we want a job, we want sex, we want more clothes, and so on. Typically, we are encouraged not to worry about these problems and just work the program! It is hard to believe that they will work themselves out as we work our program, but they do.

Our Higher Power will take care of us as long as we do the necessary footwork. But doing the footwork doesn’t include much complaining, it means working the Steps. Our problems will be taken care of as a result of our work.

Can I work more (and complain less)?

Higher Power, as I work the program, help me believe that all your promises to me will be fulfilled.

Instead of staying stuck complaining, today I will work on

God help me to stay clean and sober today!

**************************************************

~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~

My favoured temple is a humble heart.

~ PHILIP JAMES BAILEY ~

Newcomer

What’s with these people who are still coming to meetings after five, ten, even twenty years of recovery? If they don’t have problems with addiction any more, why do they still spend so much of their free time here? And what about the ones who don’t always sound so good? Hasn’t the program worked for them?

Sponsor

Old-timers who are willing to keep coming and to let us see both their human vulnerability and their commitment to recovery are doing us—and themselves—a service. We have a saying here: “We don’t graduate.” There’s no cure for my addiction, but there is healing.

For me, taking time to continue my relationship with meetings and to give service isn’t a sacrifice. It helps me stay in touch with myself in ways that my day-to-day experience doesn’t offer. Without meetings, it’s too easy for us to start thinking that we’re “cured” and that we might be able to handle just a little bit of our drug of choice again.

Most people who relapse start by drifting away from meetings. More stay out there than come back. Some of us die of our disease. I know that a few people manage to stay away from addiction on their own, but what’s the virtue in proving that we can do something in isolation? It’s easier, more heart-expanding, and more fun to be part of a fellowship.

And let’s not forget gratitude. This program saved our lives. Like those whose example and help benefited us, we continue to “give it away in order to keep it.”

Today, I acknowledge the power of this addiction. I don’t take recovery for granted.

**************************************************

~ THE EYE OPENER ~

As a piece of machinery deteriorates faster when standing idle so it is with the Soul.

It is a law of Nature that any faculty that is not used is taken away, and the more it is used the stronger it becomes.

An active Soul is a healthy Soul and the various functions of the body are so arranged that it is not possible to have physical and mental health without spiritual health and strength.

**************************************************

~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~

My New Employer

I have a new Employer. Being all powerful,
You provide what I need if I keep close to You and perform Your work well.
I have become less and less interested in myself, my little plans and designs.
Your wisdom shows me more and more what I can contribute to life.

As I feel new power flow in, enjoy peace of mind, face life successfully,
become conscious of Your presence,
I feel less fear of today, tomorrow and the hereafter.
I have been reborn.

~ Adapted from material in Alcoholics Anonymous, Fourth Edition, page 63 ~

*************************************************

~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~

SELF-CONDEMNATION KEEPS US BACK

People who are honestly trying to follow the spiritual life often make the mistake of being too hard on themselves. Because they do not seem to be progressing as fast as they would naturally like, or because they find themselves repeating some old fault that they thought they had completely overcome, they feel discouraged, and condemn them-selves mercilessly.

All this is foolish. If you are doing your best to use what Truth you know, at present, you are doing all that you have a right to expect of yourself.

Don't be impatient with yourself—but this does not mean that you are to be lazy or complacent. Handle yourself as a wise parent handles an obstreperous child-kindly, patiently, bur with gentle firmness, not expecting too much too quickly, but foreseeing inevitable growth and improvement.

. . . and all of you are children of the most high (Psalm 82:6).

**************************************************

~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~

Hands to Earth

The labor of the body relieves us from the fatigue of the mind; and it is this which forms the happiness of the poor.

~ La Rochefoucauld ~

On my way to speak at a conference, I shared the back seat of a car with a Middle-Eastern man who was also scheduled to lecture there. When he asked me about myself, I proudly told him I had written several books. Then I asked him, "What do you do for a living?” expecting him to tell me he owned a falafel stand in Manhattan.

"l'm a brain surgeon," he answered dryly.

Feeling somewhat intimidated, I tried to keep the ball rolling: "So, how did you get into brain surgery?" I asked, not unlike the way I would have asked someone else, "How did you develop an interest in needlepoint?"

"It's part of my religion," he answered.(I know there is a joke that doctors think they are God, but this was taking it too far.) "In Sufi religion, there is a rule that everyone must take a profession in which they work with their hands. This is the vocation I chose. "

It seems like a wise rule. I know many people who work with their heads and many people who work with their hands, and by far, I find that the people who use their hands are a happier lot. The elements of nature ground and heal us. All of the principles of spirit are reflected in nature. To work with the elements is to be constantly reminded of our source. When we live in our intellect, we lose touch with the power of nature. When the European culture moved west and overcame the indigenous peoples, a great treasure was ravaged. We must re-establish harmony with the earth that nourishes us.

Welcome opportunities to work with your hands, Gardening, pottery and crafts, massage, carpentry, and any earth-oriented endeavor will restore balance and harmony in a way that thinking alone cannot.

I pray to live in harmony with the elements.
Great Spirit, restore my connection with nature.

As I touch the earth, I am healed and I give healing.

[bluidkiti]

July 10

Step by Step

"Liquor ceased to be a luxury; it became a necessity. 'Bathtub' gin, two bottles a day, and often three, got to be routine. Sometimes a small deal would net a few hundred dollars, and I would pay my bills at the bars and delicatessens. This went on endlessly, and I began to waken very early in the morning shaking violently. A tumbler full of gin followed by a half a dozen bottles of beer would be required if I were to eat any breakfast. Nevertheless, I still thought I could control the situation ..." - Alcoholics Anonymous, 3rd Edition, 1976, Ch 1 ("Bill's Story"), p 5.

Today, grant me understanding that drinking is neither a luxury nor a "right" for me and that I can never again be a "responsible" drinker but, in fact, will progress in severity. And as AA co-founder Bill W. came to believe that he could control "the situation" but eventually could not, so it goes for me. Let me recognize the lifeline that is there for me but that Bill W. helped construct the lifeline. The help that Bill W. co-developed is there for me now, when it wasn't there for him. Today, I will not just ask for help - I will embrace it because it is there. And our common journey continues. Step by step. - Chris M.

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~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~

THE SOLUTION

The answers will come, if your own house is in order.

~ Big Book ~

Our continuing spiritual growth through the Program has given us solutions to the problems we thought we couldn't solve. Through disciplined concentration on the 12 Steps and working the Program, the answers have come, some slowly some quickly.

One solution was the change in our attitude when we admitted and accepted the seriousness of our addiction. This awakening prompted the willingness to begin working the 12 Steps. The answer is the development of honesty, gratitude, faith, belief, humility, and the ability to love others and our inner self.

My recovery is physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual. When I am willing to work on all four, the answers will come.

**************************************************

~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~

The significant problems we face cannot be solved at the same level of thinking we were at when we created them.

~ Albert Einstein ~

Many of us stubbornly hold on to our long-established, preferred ways of looking at things. We don’t think we are stubborn, only that we rely on what worked for us in the past. Perhaps as young guys we coped with stress by keeping our thoughts to ourselves, or we figured out that we wouldn’t get hurt if we didn’t trust anyone. All of the patterns that we developed as youngsters were our best attempts at the time to deal with our lives. The greater the stress we felt, the harder won were our coping responses, and the stronger our attachment to them.

Our best answers from boyhood may not fit our lifetimes as men. Holding too dearly to childhood solutions freezes us in immature and weaker levels of growth. What was charming and harmless behavior in a child can be manipulating and dishonest in a man. Thus we create new problems. We need to let ourselves become more vulnerable—to give up the security of our old ways and open ourselves to the messages coming from our friends, our program, and our experiences.

Today I will be open to insecurity and create the possibility of growing stronger.

**************************************************

~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~

Asking God for help has finally become a part of my life. Now I’m learning to quiet myself to hear God’s response.

~ Joan Rohde ~

No problem is too insignificant for us to look to God for guidance. And every problem gives us an opportunity to strengthen our spiritual development. As we rely more on God for our sense of direction, we will encounter fewer situations that cause us turmoil. Trusting God’s presence and guidance lessens the confusion that in past years may have crippled us.

Most of us came into this program with little or no belief in a loving Higher Power. It may have taken frequent suggestions from sponsors and other people in recovery for us to be willing to ask for the help we were promised. But finally we cleared that hurdle. Immediately we faced another one. Asking for help, we found, was the easier part; listening for God’s reply was harder.

But the right reply will come to us at the right time. We will sense the answer we’re looking for when the time for knowing it is right.

I will include my Higher Power in all my problem solving today. The solution I need will be mine if I patiently wait for the response.

**************************************************

~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~

I can enjoy each day

When I was using and having serious symptoms, my life was troubled and chaotic. Each day was much like the last (some just held less distress than others). I just wanted to forget them.

But in recovery I experience my life differently. Now that I am free of mood-altering chemicals and stable on psychiatric medication, the chaos is gone. I no longer want to forget my days. I am learning how to feel useful and enjoy each day once again. As I take part in my recovery activities, I feel more connected to my life and the world around me.

Today I will take a risk and do something new.

*************************************************

~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~

This life is worth living, we can say, since it is what we make it.

~ William James ~

Active addiction fogs our thinking and progressively limits our choices in life. Finally, we are left with only two choices — recovery or death. By choosing recovery, we have again opened our lives to many new options in sobriety. Sober living requires choice. Our growth depends on our being able to identify opportunity and deal with its challenges, to face life’s ups and downs rather than running from them.

We also come to understand that our reality is what we make it. Things and people, places and events, are neither good nor bad until we determine their quality. This opportunity of choice gives sober living its value. Now, we can think through and determine the value of our lives. Today, we can accept the responsibility of free choice, and take steps to change ourselves. Events no longer overwhelm us. We can accept challenges, work through our problems, and enjoy the benefits of our work. What we used to think of as obstacles are now new opportunities we shape with the tools of recovery.

Today let me accept challenges as just what I need to grow in recovery.

**************************************************

~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~

Habit has a kind of poetry.

~ Simone de Beauvoir ~

A habit is simply a manner of behavior that falls into a pattern. It can be a set time for doing things, a particular way of doing something, or a tradition or custom. Exercising at the same time of day, taking your dog for a romp in the park each afternoon, vacationing with your family at the same place every summer, attending church on Sunday, or going out to dinner on Friday nights are examples of good habits. While such things are not physically addictive, when they are absent from your life you may feel emotionally or spiritually empty. Without them, you can miss the pleasure and enjoyment they bring.

You can even convert something you do not like doing into a good habit. Perhaps you dislike doing laundry or mowing the lawn. But when you seek out the positive elements in such activities—all your clothes smell fresh and clean or you have the opportunity to get outdoors and make your yard look nice—you can convert them into habits you enjoy.

The more bad habits you replace with good ones, the less likely you will be to engage in the bad habits—and the more likely you will be to develop their positive re-placements into lifelong good habits.

I will develop something I really like to do into a good habit.

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~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~

You must travel the river, live on it, follow it when there is morning light, and follow it when there is nothing but dark and the banks have blurred into shadows.

~ Will Haygood ~

Any lifeguard knows a swimmer who tries to swim against the current stands a good chance of becoming tired and drowning. Go with the flow is a good reminder to help us stop going against the current of life.

Tonight we may discover that our weariness is a result of swimming against today's current. We may have tried to force changes in people, places, or things. We may have even tried to force ourselves to do things we were incapable of doing.

Going with the flow tonight means accepting the way we feel—right now. It means listening to our inner voices when they tell us whether we're tired, hungry, cold, or lonely. By accepting ourselves and not fighting how we feel, we'll be better able to travel the river tonight.

Tonight I will respect myself and go with the flow.

**************************************************

~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~

Avoiding criticism

Criticism is hard to take. If we don’t want to be criticized, we shouldn’t criticize others. At the same time, expressing concern in a loving way is not being critical.

We are entitled to our opinions, but we are not entitled to put other people down. Sharing our experience, strength, and hope is a way to help others, not to make them feel small.

Can I express loving concern? Can I share without making comparisons?

Higher Power, help me recognize when I am becoming critical; help me to be loving and humble.

Today I will praise

God help me to stay clean and sober today!

**************************************************

~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~

“No” is a complete sentence.

~ SAYING HEARD AT MEETINGS ~

Newcomer

There’s a member of a group I go to regularly who’s been asking what my weekend plans are, then suggesting that we do various things together; this person has an idea for every evening or afternoon I have free! I sense that I’m being looked at as a possible romantic prospect, and I’m definitely not interested. I’ve been making excuses and not liking doing it. I don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings, but I don’t want to be dishonest, either.

Sponsor

We don’t always want what others want; situations in which we have to say no keep arising in life. As you’ve discovered, making excuses or bending over backward to avoid people doesn’t always alleviate our discomfort and may even intensify it. Most of us don’t want to disappoint others, but indirectness sends the wrong message and only postpones disappointment.

I suspect that your power to hurt this person isn’t as great as you think. Most of us have survived being said no to, especially if it’s said in a way that allows us to keep our dignity. Communicating our truth sets an example of adult behavior in recovery; in the long run, our example may even prove helpful to the other person in a situation he or she has to face.

When we have something to say that is difficult for us, we can pray beforehand to be confident in our own feelings and to share them simply and clearly.

My honesty today is a gift to myself and others.

**************************************************

~ THE EYE OPENER ~

Many of us alcoholics can withstand the big trials but succumb to life's petty irritations. We are like the mighty big-game hunter who survived many harrowing experiences with wild beasts yet lost his mind when he sat on an ant hill.

It is not too difficult to remain cool during a great crisis, but a fouled up shoestring can throw us off the beam.

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~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~

Awareness, Acceptance, Action

Dear God, slow me down when all I do is try to fix and control things and people. Help me to first accept situations as they are when I become aware of them. Slow me down in Your stillness. Mark my awareness with unselfishness, my acceptance with humility, and my actions with usefulness to me and others.

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~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~

RECIPROCAL JUDGMENT

Read Matthew 7:1-5.

These few verses consist of only about one hundred words, and yet it is hardly too much to say that at their simple face value they comprise the most staggering document ever presented to mankind. In these five verses we are told more about the nature of man and the meaning of life, and the importance of conduct, and the art of living, and the secret of happiness and success, and the way out of trouble, and the approach to God, and the emancipation of the soul, and the salvation of the world, than all the philosophers and the theologians and the savants put together have told us—for it explains the Great Law. "Burn the rest of the books, for it is all in this one," would hold in reference to those words.

People are very apt to think, especially when they are strongly tempted, that they can probably escape the clutches of authority in some other way. If, however, they understood that the law of retribution is a cosmic law, impersonal and unchanging as the law of gravity, they would think twice before they treated other people unjustly. The law of gravity is never off duty, and no one would ever dream of trying to evade it, or coax it, or bribe it, or intimidate it. People accept it as being inevitable and shape their conduct accordingly—and the law of retribution is even as the law of gravity.

You may like or dislike the law, and if you wish, you may try to ignore it; but you cannot deny that Jesus Christ taught it, and in the most direct and emphatic way when he said:

Judge not, that ye be not judged. Far with what judgement ye judge, ye shall be judged (Matthew 7:l-2).

**************************************************

~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~

Immediate Results

Only infinite patience begets immediate results.

~ A Course in Miracles ~

In my rush to leave my house one morning, I walked through a screen door. As I hastily reached to take a patio chair out of the rain, I did not see that the sliding screen door was closed, and I rammed right into it, tearing the bottom. This got my attention. I stepped back, took a few deep breaths, and asked, "What is the lesson here?" Quickly the inner voice answered, "Slow down."

The thought that your life is moving too slowly is a sign that you are moving too fast. Rushing never improves the quality of our life or the results we seek; to the contrary, it muddies our vision and causes us to make errors that cost us twice as much time and energy to repair.

The universe is proceeding with perfect timing; if you believe it is not, it is not an error in the universe, but your perception. My friend was late driving to her therapy session and got stuck behind a slowpoke on the highway. After honking and cursing at the driver in front of her, she finally had a clearing to pass. When she did, she discovered that the driver was her therapist.

Trust that you have enough time to do everything that needs to be done. Love does not worry or force; it flows. Relax into what is happening, and the peace you enjoy will be accompanied by the clarity and efficiency you gain.

Help me to know that all things are unfolding naturally.

God's timing is perfect.

[bluidkiti]

July 11

Step by Step

"To be gravely affected, one does not necessarily have to drink a long time nor take the quantities some of us have. This is particularly true of women. Potential female alcoholics often turn into the real thing and are gone beyond recall in a few years. Certain drinkers, who would be greatly insulted if called alcoholics, are astonished at their inability to stop. We, who are familiar with the symptoms, see large numbers of potential alcoholics among young people everywhere. But try and get them to see it!" - Alcoholics Anonymous, 3rd Edition, 1976, Ch 3 ("More About Alcoholism"), pp 33-4.

Today, if I still resist the Step One of admitting I am powerless over alcohol, let me heed the warning against comparing my own drinking to others whose drinking are more in quantity and longer in time. If I do, my desperation to find any excuse not to acknowledge my own condition has become denial. Nor can I expect a young age to shield me from powerlessness. Nor can I find justification to continue drinking if I can say I don't wake up every morning with a hangover or shakes that require a drink to calm them, or if I can say I have never spent a night in a county jail and faced a judge the day after because I was nailed for drunk driving, or if I can say I have never been in rehab. All these are consequences of alcoholism: that none has happened to me does not shield me. Today, I will not take anyone else's inventory of drinking habits to minimize or justify mine and that I and I alone might be scared enough to grab the lifeline that is AA. And our common journey continues. Step by step. - Chris M.

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~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~

GRACE

But for the grace of God, there go I.

~ John Bradford ~

When we come in contact with those who have not yet found the Program, our first reaction is one of relief and gratitude. "There but for the grace of God, go I," we think. The next reaction is "How can I help them find what I've found?"

Before we began recovery, we would have traded in our lives for almost anyone else's. Now after a time on the Program, we feel differently about ourselves. We hear people giving thanks for their disease. They tell us without their disease they wouldn't have found the Program, and without the Program they wouldn't have found recovery.

We quit our addiction before and it never produced this sense of well-being. The difference is the Program, the Fellowship and our connection with a Higher Power.

Whatever it was that brought me to the Program, I have learned to be thankful for it. As I come in contact with those who still suffer, I can never forget that if it weren't for the grace of God, I would be where they are today.

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~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~

We couldn’t conceive of a miracle if none had ever happened.

~ Libbie Fudim ~

We are very familiar with miracles. We see the change that has happened in our own lives and in the lives of others on this journey with us. Something deep within us changed when we first decided we could accept the truth of our powerlessness and the help of a Higher Power. When a man’s personality changes profoundly, that is a miracle.

These transformations go beyond what anyone might rationally expect. Some of us had given up and were without hope. Others had given up on us too. We thought our lives could never be different after we lived so long in the grips of codependency and addiction, after we tried in so many ways to manage and control our actions and repeatedly failed. But this program provided an awakening, as if from a deep sleep or perhaps a nightmare. Now we have found a path that produces genuine miracles. We cannot easily explain it, but our compulsions are lifted.

Today I am grateful for the miracle in my own lift and Hoe lives of my friends.

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~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~

We all get to choose how we perceive things.

~ Chris DeMetsenaere ~

How happy do we really want to be? That’s per-haps the most important question we can ask our-selves every morning. We are absolutely in charge of how we answer the question and how we feel all day long. What we forget, all too often, is that our thinking doesn’t just happen to us. We create it. We are in charge of it. We are powerless over much, but our thoughts are our responsibility.

It’s exhilarating to understand deeply the breadth of our power to perceive and feel. It became habitual for us to blame others for everything that happened to us and our feelings as a result. Entrenched habits are hard to break, but it’s an adventure and a rewarding challenge to develop healthier habits.

There is no better time than now to decide what kind of day we want and to create it!

I will quietly and carefully choose how I see my life today. I will feel as happy as I want to.

**************************************************

~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~

I will not play doctor

I tried hanging on to the control. I thought I could manage my symptoms on my own with drugs. It didn’t work. After a long time and a lot of painful disruption in my life, I finally acknowledged just how out of control I was.

I know now that I have two illnesses and that I am not the doctor. To deal with my addiction and emotional illness, I need the help of professionals and others who have recovery. Although it is still hard for me to trust people, I hit bottom trying to do it all on my own. I want to recover and I will accept the help I need.

When I need help, I will contact one of my helpers. If I'm having a problem with my medication, I will call my doctor right away.

*************************************************

~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~

Although you may not like all of us, you'll love us in the very special way we already love you.

~ Program Saying ~

We don’t have to like everyone we meet in our recovery program. Odds are we won’t. And everyone won’t like us.

But we do learn from everyone and our sharing touches many others. We may hear a nugget of wisdom one night from someone we’ve never especially liked. When we in turn reach out to that person, we feel much better about them and about ourselves.

It’s true, we do love each other in a “very special way.” But we need to nurture that love by sharing ourselves, providing support to others when we can, and respecting everyone’s right to confidentiality. As we grow spiritually, we find we have more inside—and more to give to others, too.

Our program friends are special people — we may not like all of them, but we do love them in a very special way.

Today I thank You for the friendships I’ve made in my recovery program. Help me show each person that I am grateful for his or her help.

**************************************************

~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~

The actions you take during your first three months in a new job will largely determine whether you succeed or fail.

~ Michael Watkins ~

What would happen if you were hired to run a company and then, on your first day, without taking the time to learn about the company, you came into the office with firm ideas about how you will run the business?

In his book The First 90 Days, Michael Watkins out-lines success strategies for new leaders who often lack in-depth knowledge of the climate and the challenges of the organization they are entering.

The first 90 days in your recovery—whether this takes place in a treatment facility or program or by following the advice to attend “90 meetings in 90 days”—are just as critical. This start of your recovery represents a major transition in your life, and the way you begin will often determine whether you will succeed or fail. The recovery initiation period of 90 days, combined with early abstinence, provides you with the chance to develop awareness of your strengths and weaknesses and make maintaining abstinence easier. When you take the time to learn about the tools of the program and form relationships within the fellowship, you will learn that while your recovery is up to you, you do not have to do it alone.

I will learn all that I can about the program so my path in recovery will be easier.

**************************************************

~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~

I never make the mistake of arguing with people for whose opinions I have no respect.

~ Gibbon ~

"She just doesn't understand." "He doesn't listen to me." "She can't see my point of view." Do we ever say these things? No matter how much we argue or how convincing our argument, we may never be able to change another's opinion.

It may be our parents. But do we value their opinion, or are we trying to force their approval? It may be a boss or co-worker. But are they people we would choose to have as friends outside work? Before we become tense and angry, we must look at the person with whom we are arguing.

Do we respect these people? Would their opinion benefit us? Are they interested in our best welfare? Sometimes we may struggle to change the opinion of those who have never supported us, rather than talk with those who have always been there for us. To distinguish between the two is the difference between disapproval and tension, and love and acceptance.

Am I driving myself crazy trying to change another's opinion? I can take a look at this and seek those opinions I value and trust.

**************************************************

~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~

Showing empathy

When we first got into recovery, most of us were quite unhappy. We were in pain; we were vulnerable. We were angry and impatient. We probably didn’t like ourselves very much and may not have liked other people much.

But what if others had treated us according to these feelings? Weren’t we forgiven? Accepted? (And if we weren’t, wouldn’t it have been better if we had been?) Today, we see that we are the same as everyone else who is struggling to achieve or maintain a drug- free life. If we treat everyone well, it will help us recover.

Am I practicing generosity and compassion?

Higher Power, help me to treat others as I would want to be treated.

Today I will be especially compassionate toward

God help me to stay clean and sober today!

**************************************************

~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~

Good fences make good neighbors.

~ ROBERT FROST ~

Newcomer

I keep hearing people say things like “It’s a selfish program.” I don’t like the sound of the word "selfish.” I was too selfish when I was active in my addiction. You can’t just want me to think of my own recovery. What about all the suffering in the world around me? What about social responsibility? Surely it’s not wrong to try to help others.

Sponsor

I understand how that slogan may be misleading. I don’t think that it’s meant to encourage selfishness in the usual sense of that word. I wouldn’t characterize most people in recovery as selfish or ungenerous, would you? In fact, I think that the opposite is true.

The slogan is useful to remind us to have some humility. I can get pretty grandiose, thinking I ought to have all the answers for others. I’d rather be trying to figure out how to solve the world’s problems than remembering that I need to do my work, make my dinner, and get enough rest.

There are lots of people around me with all sorts of needs. I don’t like to disappoint people, so it’s taken me awhile to accept that I can’t be totally available to them all. It took time to develop some discrimination and to learn what boundaries felt comfortable to me. When someone asks something of us, we don’t have to say yes automatically. We are honest with ourselves about our limitations and priorities, putting our recovery first. Remembering to keep the focus on ourselves as we go through recovery keeps us centered.

Today, I take my needs as a recovering person seriously.

**************************************************

~ THE EYE OPENER ~

Columbus is the only man on record who didn't know where he was going when he set sail, didn't know where he was when he got there, and didn't know where he had been when he got back, and still escaped the reputation of being an alcoholic.

If AA paid no further dividends than to get us out of that haphazard, confused and disordered way of living, it would be enough.

Now we at least know which end is up.

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~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~

WITH WHAT MEASURE YE METE

With what measure ye mete, it shall be measured, to you again (Matthew 7:2).

If the average man understood for a moment the meaning of these words, they would tum his everyday conduct inside out, and so change him that, in a comparatively short space of time, his closest friends would hardly know him.

The plain fact is that it is the law of life that, as we think, and speak, and act toward others, so will others think, and speak, and act toward us. Everything that we do to others will sooner or later be done to us by someone, somewhere. Perhaps by someone who knows nothing of our previous action, but for every unkind word that we speak to or about another person, an unkind word will be spoken to or about us. For every time that we cheat, we will be cheated. Every time we neglect a duty, or evade a responsibility, or misuse authority over other people, we are doing something for which we will inevitably have to pay by suffering a like injury ourself.

However, it is a poor law that does not work both ways, and so it is equally true that for every good deed that you do, for every kind word that you speak, you will in the same way, at some time or other, get back an equivalent.

The Golden Rule in Scientific Christianity is: Think about others as you would wish them to think about you. In the light of the knowledge that we now possess, the observance of this rule becomes a very solemn duty, but, more than that indeed, it is a debt of honor.

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~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~

I Read the News Today, Oh Boy

Truth in journalism is usually found on the comic page.

~ Frank DeGennaro ~

A radio commentator noted that the news we generally receive though the media is “a proctological view of life.” What is presented as the news is a carefully distilled entree of mayhem, culled for commercial saleability, playing on base fears and sensationalism. Much of the news we receive is not honest, for it is not an accurate reflection of the truth. While the media lets us know that a rape occurs every five minutes, it does not tell us how many acts of kindness occurred in that time. We rarely receive statistics on how many children were brought in to the world with delight and appreciation; how many teachers told their students, "You are destined for greatness"; how many athletes dug into themselves for the stamina to complete their jogging; how many creditors extended extra grace to their overdue accounts; how many drivers slowed down to allow cars from a side street in to the lineup on a main thoroughfare; or how many times any one said, “I love you.'' When the news reflects the whole of life, not just its sordid aspects, it will be honest, serviceful, and worthy of our attention.

If we wish to get more accurate news, we must withdraw our fascination from evil and reinvest it in peace. A San Francisco newspaper published two different versions of a day's news, one with a sensational headline about murder, and the other with a more modest banner about progress in peace talks. The sensational headline outsold the more mellow edition by four to one.

Invest in a better world by placing your attention on what works, rather than what doesn't. Do not start or end your day by listening to newscasts. Celebrate all the good you hear about, and pray that we learn from our pain and suffering, rather than dwell on it. Make the news of the day better by shining the light of your consciousness on the good, the beautiful and the true.

I pray to be a beacon. Give me the strength to bless the good and heal the sorrow.

I change the world by focusing on the light.

[bluidkiti]

July 12

Step by Step

"I had always believed in a Power greater than myself. I had often pondered these things. I was not an atheist. Few people really are, for that means blind faith in the strange proposition that this universe originated in a cipher and aimlessly rushes nowhere. My intellectual heroes, the chemists, the astronomers, even the evolutionists, suggested vast laws and forces at work. Despite contrary indications, I had little doubt that a mighty purpose and rhythm underlay all. How could there be so much of precise and immutable law, and no intelligence? I simply had to believe in a Spirit of the Universe, who knew neither time nor limitation." - Alcoholics Anonymous, 3rd Edition, 1976, Ch 1 ("Bill's Story"), p 10.

Today, if I resist the possibility of a higher power, maybe I can re-frame the question to prove or disprove the possibility. As Bill W. wrote, he maintained - possibly intuitively despite years of alcoholic drinking - a sense of "purpose and rhythm" in spite of "contrary indications." Can I honestly believe the immensity of the entire universe is nothing more than a force of spontaneous elements that collided to produce all that it encompasses? And, realistically, is it by accident or "harmony" that these dynamics maintain a consistency to sustain not only life but the universe itself? To believe that may be a bigger stretch than to acknowledge the possibility of a higher power. How and why the question relates to my recovery, even a hope for one, is simple: if I cannot or will not consider a higher power, or even a higher intelligence, how effective can I be in accepting the program's first step of admitting "(I am) powerless ...?" Today, I'll take a leap of blind faith and believe that if alcohol can be stronger than me, something can be stronger than alcohol. And our common journey continues. Step by step. - Chris M.

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~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~

BELIEVING

I came; I came to; I came to believe.

~ Anonymous ~

We hear repeatedly that belief is acceptance of truths without proof. We are always tempted to demand proof. God has granted us logic and we think we are expected to use it. And we are, except when it comes to proving God's existence. Then we are expected to act in faith. Many of us began to use our Higher Power before we began to understand it.

Proof is sometimes tricky. For instance, after we hear terrifying stories from those who decide to “go out” and try using again, we don't have to follow their example in order to prove them right or wrong. We can trust their experience.

The only proof we need that the Program works ii to look around at the old-timers in our Fellowship and to listen to their stories of the way it was and the way it is now.

Faith in the recovery power of the Steps keeps me mindful that one of them begins “came to believe.” Unless I maintain my belief and faith in the Steps, I am in danger of suffering a relapse.

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~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~

Before talking of holy things, we prepare ourselves by offering... One will fill his pipe and hand it to the other who will light it and offer it to the sky and the earth... They will smoke together... Then we will be ready to talk.

~ Mato-Kuwapi, Santee Yankton Sioux ~

Rituals prepare us for moments of spiritual experience. They bring people together; they mark occasions; they give us metaphors through our senses that expose us to mystery, awe, peace, and wisdom. Traditional spiritual practices all use ritual to reach toward God. In our meetings we also have rituals that accomplish these things.

We may have dismissed ritual in our cynical minds, thinking of it as irrelevant hocus-pocus. But when we seek connection with other people, or with God, we learn that ritual is a way to set our cynical minds aside and open ourselves to the presence. Even in our private time of prayer and meditation, we may light a candle as a sign of our spiritual search.

Today I will honor the rituals that create conscious contact

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~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~

One step at a time may seem too slow some days.

~ Kay Marie Porterfield ~

Impatience is certainly not a virtue. However, we frequently display it as though it were: if we don’t get some task done right now, we will have failed for all time. How many backfired circumstances must we have before we get the message?

When we came into this recovery program, we may have heard that there would always be enough time to accomplish what God intends us to do. Those of us who looked back at failed attempts doubted the truth of this wisdom. But we are coming to believe it now. In time, all the simple messages seem to come true.

The slogans are excellent examples of this. “One day at a time, one step at a time” will never fail us. We will handle whatever comes to us if we follow that advice.

I will accomplish what I need to today, on time, if I let my Higher Power be in charge.

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~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~

I know that abstinence is critical to my recovery

When I used mood-altering chemicals, I felt as though I was rejecting myself and even rejecting others who wanted to help me. Sometimes I felt weak and out of control because I knew I was hurting myself and couldn't seem to stop.

But when I'm abstinent from chemicals, I still feel stress. At times I get irritable and anxious and don't sleep well. At times I think about using again. It's a struggle. But at least when I'm abstinent, I don't have to feel guilty or ashamed. I feel clearer about my dual recovery. I know I'm doing the right thing. And the struggle is worth it.

When I feel cravings, I will promptly apply the tools of my program to deal with them.

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~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~

The day shall not be up so soon as I,
To try the fair adventure of tomorrow.

~ William Shakespeare ~

Somehow, probably because of all the grim business of addiction, we became very rigid. We learned not to trust ourselves, so we became frightened of taking risks. In recovery, we have a chance to re-establish our trust. Using the tools of recovery, we can plan an adventure with confidence. Life without adventure is like a sunset with no colors.

By nature, many of us are controllers. Adventure requires us to give up a little control, and that’s scary. But we can learn to let go. When we make a routine, we can ask ourselves, “Is there another way to do this?” When the chance for adventure comes, we can ask, “Why not?”

We’re healthier every new day we spend in recovery. We’ve replaced sickness with health, insanity with sanity, and desperation with spiritual peace. Using these tools of recovery, adventure can again bring safe fun and excitement to our lives every day.

Today help me try something new. Help me welcome, not fear, adventure.

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~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~

It is easier to live through someone else than to become complete yourself.

~ Betty Friedan ~

While recovery is all about relationships—with others in the fellowship, with your sponsor, with your Higher Power, and the one you must build or rebuild with yourself— there are some relationships that should be avoided.

Whether you are new to recovery or have been involved for some time, becoming involved in a romantic relationship can be dangerous to your sobriety and your work in the program. When you first become involved in an intimate relationship, most other relationships get pushed to the back burner. A new romantic interest can provide you with a “rush” of energy that can replicate a “high,” and the relationship may then become your substitute “drug.” Romance can be a detour that may take you away from your much-needed journey of self-discovery.

This does not mean that you can never become intimately involved again. While some suggest people wait between six months or even a year before pursuing romance, it is best to build a strong foundation in the recovery program and with your Higher Power first. Make the choice to reach a point in your recovery in which you feel you can contribute as an equal partner to an intimate relationship.

I will enter the dating scene cautiously, without losing focus on my recovery.

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~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~

The highest compact we can make with our fellow is, let there be truth between us two forevermore.

~ Ralph Waldo Emerson ~

When was the last time we told a lie? Do we remember who we lied to and the reason? Did our lying bring us closer to that person, or did it build an invisible wall?

We have chosen to travel on the path of recovery. Because of this, there are certain requirements for our growth and learning. One of them is honesty with ourselves and with others. Il we aren't honest with ourselves, we will suffer because the truth will come out. If we aren't honest with others, we will hinder our ability to grow closer to people. Dishonesty doesn’t make bonds, it breaks them.

We can make amends for our lies. We can "come clean" to those we lied to and tear down the walls. By doing so we will move further along our path of recovery by learning how to build relationships, not break them. Honesty with others builds trust, trust builds love, and love makes life so much better.

Tonight I will promise to get honest with at least one person to whom I have lied. I will learn how to build a better relationship by doing so.

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~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~

Knowing our Higher Power

A good understanding of our Higher Power may be necessary for some of us, but we don’t need to get stuck on any image. All we have to do is become willing to believe that a power greater than ourselves will help us get clean and sober.

Electricity works the same after a course in electronics as it did before the course. Likewise, our Higher Power works the same for us before we understand how it operates. It gets down to this simple idea: It’s less important that we understand God than believe God understands us.

Do I have faith in my Higher Power?

Higher Power, help me accept the fact that understanding your ways is less important than believing you are present in my life today.

I will apply my faith in my Higher Power today by

God help me to stay clean and sober today!

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~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~

Worry, the interest paid by those who borrow trouble.

~ GEORGE WASHINGTON LYON ~

Newcomer

I took a test last week in a course I’ve signed up for at a local college. Immediately afterward, I started worrying about my grade. I had a feeling that the teacher had something against me, and that she might give me a C even though I really deserved a B. I was already planning what I’d say to her. Then I got the test back—with an A on it. I’m having a good laugh about what I put myself through. I feel stupid for having worried so much.

Sponsor

First, congratulations on your hard work. In recovery, we can become more aware of our abilities and honor them. There’s so much we can achieve, with patience and perseverance.

If I’m hearing you correctly, you underrated your ability, you assumed that someone both wished you ill and was going to behave unprofessionally, and you churned up your mind with worry about the future. The mental and emotional energy you put into expecting the worst from yourself and your teacher turned out to have nothing to do with reality. This is what people in Twelve Step programs refer to as “projection”—living in an imagined future instead of the present moment.

When I’m facing something new or difficult, I find that it calms me to pray to my Higher Power for the best possible outcome for all concerned. If we’re not giving our attention to fear, mistrust, low self-esteem, or other negative feelings, we can concentrate on doing our best and turning over the results to a Power greater than ourselves. As with recovery, the rate at which we live all of our lives need only be one day at a time.

Today, I cherish the serenity that comes from cultivating a positive attitude toward myself and toward the eventual outcome of events.

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~ THE EYE OPENER ~

In all ages men have been bound to each other by the ties of kinship, nationality, mutual attraction and by common ideals and aims. Nowhere, however, is that bond of kinship so strong as among those who share a common danger.

We in AA have a common enemy in Alcohol. It is a constant threat to our happiness, our prosperity, our health and our very lives.

Here lies the reason behind that feeling of "belonging" when you enter the halls of a strange group. Here are your kind of people, fighting your battle against your enemy.

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~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~

Thanking You for Little Things

I thank You for the house in which I live,
For the gray roof on which the raindrops slant;
I thank You for a garden and the slim young shoots
That mark the old-fashioned things I plant.

I thank You for a daily task to do,
For books that are my ships with golden wings.
For mighty gifts let others offer praise—
Lord, I thank You for little things.

~ Author unknown ~

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~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~

THE GOSPEL

The student having now gained an understanding of what the Great Law is and how it works, is in a position to take the next great step and understand how it is possible to rise above even the Great Law itself, in the name of the CHRIST.

This does not mean that the laws of the physical or mental planes are broken. It means that man, because of his essential divine selfhood, has the power of rising above these domains into the infinite dimension of Spirit where such laws no longer affect him. The law of reaping what one sows, often called the Law of Karma, is actually law for mind only; it is not law for Spirit. In Spirit all is perfect and eternal, unchanging good.

So man has the choice of Karma or Christ. This is the best news that has ever come to mankind, and for that reason it is called the glad tidings, or the Gospel. Karma turns out to be inexorable only so long as you do not pray. For any given mistake, you must either suffer the consequences, which we call being punished, or wipe them out by the Practice of the Presence of God.

It must not be supposed, however, that the consequences of a mistake are to be cheaply evaded by a perfunctory prayer. Sufficient realization of God to alter fundamentally the character of the sinner is required in order to wipe out the punishment that otherwise must always follow upon sin. When the sinner becomes a changed man, and will not even desire to repeat his sin, then is he saved, for Christ is Lord of Karma.

And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God (Romans 12:2).

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~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~

Unseen Help

If you knew who walks beside you, fear would be impossible.

~ A Course in Miracles ~

While visiting a prison, I was required to walk through a series of five thick electronically secured steel doors and gates, connected by a maze of sidewalks and corridors. As I reached each door, I wondered if anyone would be there to guide me and open the door. As if by magic, the moment I approached a door, it was buzzed open electronically. After going through a few doors, I realized I was being watched via remote television cameras. At one point, I made a wrong turn at the intersection of two sidewalks, and I heard a voice call out of nowhere, "You are going the wrong way." I returned to the intersection and stood at the crossroads, puzzled. The voice returned. "Now, just continue in the direction you are facing."

On the path of life, we come up against locked doors and wonder how we will get through and whether anyone is available to help us. As I discovered at the prison, if we are in our right place, the door will be buzzed open; it would have been useless for me to try to open the doors manually. But there was someone watching me who had the power to release the door without struggle on my part.

The same guide will assist us if we take a wrong turn. A voice will call out, "You are going the wrong way." It may not be an external voice we hear, but an internal knowingness. When we return to the intersection and reposition ourselves, the same inner guide will let us know, “Just keep going in the direction you are facing."

Although we do not see our watcher, we are seen and known. On my way out of the jail, I noticed a guard booth adjacent to one of the corridors. The glass windows were heavily tinted so I could not see in, but the guards could see out. While we may be unable to peer into the guidance booth of the universe, those in charge of helping us can see us. We are never alone. Every door will open when we are ready to enter.

I trust You to open locked doors for me. I do not have to fight to do the will of God.

God is watching over me, making my path easy.

[bluidkiti]

July 13

Step by Step

Today, if the responsibility to sobriety sometimes seems overwhelming or too demanding if I fail to do it First Things First, I will not complain or cop the poor-me attitude or blow off steam on anyone or anything. Instead, I'll remember yesterday when I couldn't be trusted with any responsibility because I was too drunk or too hung over. I'll remember gratitude and that my response in the past to "relaxing" robbed me of being trusted with those responsibilities. Today, no complaints, no self-pity, no turning my back on anything I'm asked to do. I'll be grateful that I'm sober to be entrusted with the responsibilities that I have. That's all. It's that simple. And our common journey continues. Step by step. - Chris M.

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~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~

SURRENDER

I can't . . . God can . . . I think I'll let Him.

~ Anonymous ~

We have all lived with the idea we could do anything. We have seen spaceships sent to outer planets. We can send a letter over a phone line. How, then, do we come to terms with our limitations? How do we teach ourselves to say, “I can't”? Where do we learn to trust our limitations and believe that God can take us places we cannot take ourselves?

Our Program tells us to stop trying to manage the world. We will never be all things to all people. Our whole trouble was the misuse of will power. When we lower our expectations, we are not setting our sights on lower goals. We are surrendering ourselves to our Higher Power. We are asking help to be better than we are.

I need to remember that "surrender" doesn't mean "give up." It means admitting to my Higher Power that I need help to reach my goals.

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~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~

I don’t ask for the meaning of the song of a bird or the rising of the sun on a misty morning. There they are, and they are beautiful

~ Pete Hamill ~

Nature is the mystical, spiritual miracle present all around us every day. A walk in the woods or a hike in a park provides us with abundant evidence that we are part of something much bigger than ourselves. No one sent the bird to sing its song; no person designed a tree and planned its leaves to come forth. They are just doing their own thing. Our whole world is generously decorated by spontaneous beauty, and our senses take them in at no cost.

When we feel burdened by our problems and when we are too focused on ourselves, a walk outdoors will surely lighten the load. We can feel the wind in our face, look up at the sky and see the big and ever- changing heavens, or lie on the ground and feel the support of the earth. It is always a good practice to turn to the natural world when we feel the need for spiritual refreshment.

Today I will get outside myself by noticing the eternal world of nature.

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~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~

We seem to help center each other as our lives travel parallel paths.

~ Robyn Halsema ~

We are walking in concert with many other people. It is not an accident that we have been drawn into the lives of the men and women who surround us. Our destinies are entwined. We have the opportunity to learn from one another, to help one another, and to grow in our trust that there are no accidents in this God-filled world.

Some days we may fear the circumstances edging toward us. We may doubt that the people Involved have our best interests at heart. At those times we need to look to our precious relationships for strength and courage. Just as our friends are with us by design, so are the circumstances from which we will learn our much-needed lessons.

We are never alone. Our friends are only a call away. Our Higher Power is at our service. The love surrounding us centers us and makes us whole and strong and serene.

I rejoice in the knowledge that my loved ones are here by design. My fears will diminish when I am in the company of my friends and God.

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~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~

I now have a spiritual life thanks to my illnesses

Had I been given a choice about experiencing addiction and emotional illness, no doubt I would have declined. It is painful even to think about what I've gone through to reach this stage in recovery.

But through my no-fault illnesses (and because I am accepting them more and more), two wonderful changes are in process: (a) As I begin to care for my own physical and emotional needs in a healthy way, I find myself caring more about other people. (b) I am developing a relationship with a higher power and becoming a more spiritual person. For these surprising new changes, I am profoundly grateful.

Today I will compose a prayer or draw a picture that acknowledges my process and progress in recovery.

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~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~

Trouble is a part of life, and if you don’t share it, you don’t give the person who loves you a chance to love you enough.

~ Dinah Shore ~

Just as gravity keeps us grounded and connected to the earth, our fellowship keeps us bound to sobriety. The fellowship available to us in our Twelve Step program keeps us in reality. A problem pondered in isolation seems immense; the same problem shared by those who truly understand is manageable. We need other people from the moment we are born. We need to be included, to feel we’re a part of something larger than ourselves. Our spirits hunger for contact from others, and thirst for a relationship with God.

Our fellowship is there, a warm, friendly, and accepting family. Our Higher Power loves us. We are not alone, no matter where we travel, no matter how large our problems seem at the moment. Our joys are doubled and our sadness diminished through the sharing of our hearts.

Today help me listen carefully and give as well as take so I may fully experience this gift of fellowship.

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~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~

The Fox without a Tail

One day a fox became caught in a trap. In his struggle to free himself, he left his tail behind. On his way home, he devised a way to head off being made the butt of jokes. He trotted back into the forest and called together all of the foxes.

“Foxes are much more attractive when they do not have a tail,” he said as he wiggled his stump. “Observe how sleek my appearance is. No longer will I have to pull burrs out of my tail. I am free—and you can all be free, too! It is time for all foxes to cut off their tails.”

“Nonsense!” an elder fox yelled out. “If you had not lost your own tail, my friend, you would not be urging us to lose ours as well. You must deal with your loss on your own.”

The moral of the story: Do not trust all of the advice given by others.

Many in the program offer helpful support based on their experience. There are also those who give advice. Sometimes this advice is well-meaning and useful; other times it may seem suspect. Listen to the support, guidance, and advice you are given. But never let such information have a negative impact on your recovery.

I will listen to the advice I am given, but will make decisions that are right for me.

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~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~

When I hear somebody sigh, “Life is hard," I am always tempted to ash, "Compared to what?"

~ Sydney J. Harris ~

We've probably heard all the negative quotations about life. There was also probably a time when we believed them all. Based on the state of our lives at the time, it was probably no surprise that life was difficult and brutal.

Certainly there are many things in life that are harsh and cruel—we see such things in the paper every day. But there are some very wonderful things, too. It's just that we've been conditioned to believe the horrors instead of the wonders.

Today may have been a long, tiring, boring day. But that doesn't mean all days are long, tiring, and boring. There's much good in life that we can see if we let ourselves. We can get off our "life-is-difficult” soapbox and hear the humor, see the smiles, and feel the caring. Life may be difficult at times, but it is also quite fulfilling.

I need to feel that life is good tonight. What event happened today that I can feel good about? Who did I see today that made me feel good?

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~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~

Recognizing opportunities

Today is a day of opportunity. Any experiences that we have today—good or bad—can be seen as opportunities, opportunities to grow closer to God.

As bread is food for the body, opportunities are food for the soul.

Do I see all the opportunities in my daily life? Do I take advantage of them?

I pray that I may use my experiences as opportunities to grow closer to God.

Today I will look for opportunities by

God help me to stay clean and sober today!

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~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~

All things are connected like the blood which unites one family. All things are connected.

~ CHIEF SEATTLE ~

Newcomer

I was in such a foul mood at the last meeting I went to. I sat there gritting my teeth through the whole meeting, glaring at the speaker and at anyone who had the nerve to look at me. Here’s the strange part: I felt better after the meeting anyway. I ate with a friend and laughed at myself a little. Today everything looks different. Meetings look good to me again.

Sponsor

One of the greatest gifts of recovery is simply that meetings exist and that we go to them. We may be annoyed with everyone in the room, holding on to a foul mood for dear life, and at the same time experience deep healing.

The healing comes from a sense of belonging to a community of people in recovery. Even if I’m out of sync with everyone in the room on a given day, I’m still part of a process that includes them and that is larger than all of us. Whatever moods I go through, whatever resistance I let others see, no one will try to take away my seat in recovery. Often, when I’m expecting disapproval or rejection, I’m met with compassion or sympathetic laughter instead. It’s what we mean by unconditional love. Even on the days when I can’t see the love that’s there, my sense that I’m somehow being held by this program is growing.

Today, it strengthens me to know that I belong to a community of people in recovery.

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~ THE EYE OPENER ~

We alcoholics devoted a whole lifetime to the pursuit of happiness, but it was not until we found our fellowship that we had any success of a permanent nature.

This is a happy Program, made so by our happy release from the Hell of drinking excessively. Our happiness distinguishes us from the dried-up drunk.

The work we are about is dead serious, but we can go about it with a smile in our hearts and a laugh on our lips. Of all God's creatures we really have something to be happy about.

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~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~

Happiness Prayer from West Africa

I am happy because You have accepted me, dear God.
Sometimes I do not know what to do with all my happiness.
I swim in Your grace like a whale in the ocean
The saying goes "The ocean never dries up," but we know Your love also never fails.
Dear Lord, Your love is my happiness.

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~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~

COMING OF AGE

If ye then, being evil, know how to give good gifts unto your children, how much more shall your Father which is in heaven give good things to them that ask Him? (Matthew 7:1 1).

We are the children of God; and if children, then sons, and joint heirs with Jesus Christ, as Paul says. At the present time we find ourselves full of limitations and disabilities because we are spiritually but children—minors. Children are irresponsible, lacking in wisdom and experience, and have to be kept under control lest their mistakes should entail serious consequences to themselves.

. . . That the heir, as long as he is a child, differeth nothing from a servant, though he be loved by all;

But is under tutors and governors . . . (Galatians 4:1).

But when the fullness of time is come, he realizes that it is the voice of God Himself that is in his heart, making him cry: "Abba Father." Then at last he knows that he is the son of a great king, and that all his Father has is his for the using, whether it be health, or supply, or opportunity, or beauty, or joy, or any other of the thoughts of God.

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~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~

Listen

Do you know why we have two ears and one mouth?
We are supposed to listen twice as much as we talk.

~ Anonymous ~

A successful psychiatrist saw eight patients a day and obtained excellent results. Each patient would walk out of his office with a smile and give the doctor a warm handshake. Many observers speculated on the secret of his success, but only his secretary knew it. At the end of each day, he would call her on the intercom and tell her, "Okay, Cindy, you can bring me my hearing aid now."

The only talent more effective than being a good speaker is to be a good listener. Most people are ready to offer advice, but few are willing or able to listen. Real listening is an art and a skill. Cultivate your ability to be fully present with someone who sincerely shares about their life, and you will be the best friend this person has.

In my seminars, I lead an exercise in which one partner speaks for five minutes, and the other simply listens. The speakers are instructed to express what they feel in their heart, and the listeners are instructed to listen without interrupting, giving advice, or telling their own story. Often the listeners receive more from the exercise than the speakers. They report that they feel relieved and refreshed not to have to respond with advice or feedback, and as a result, they were able to pay more attention to the speaker and feel with them as they shared, one speaker, elated, reported, "This is the first time in 20 years of marriage my wife heard me out!"

To truly bless your friends is much simpler than you may have thought. More than anything else, they would probably appreciate your undivided attention. Give the man open ear, and you will bless yourself as well.

Help me to be there for my friends in the highest and most helpful way.

I listen with my heart and hear myself it.

[bluidkiti]

July 14

Step by Step

"As we look back, we feel we had gone on drinking many years beyond the point where we could quit on our will power. If anyone questions whether he has entered this dangerous area, let him try leaving liquor alone for one year. If he is a real alcoholic and very far advanced, there is scant chance of success. In the early days of our drinking, we occasionally remained sober for a year or more, becoming serious drinkers again later. Though you may be able to stop for a considerable period, you may yet be a potential alcoholic." - Alcoholics Anonymous, 3rd Edition, 1976, Ch 3 ("More About Alcoholism"), p 34.

Today - the AA challenge. If hangovers, the morning drink to calm a churning stomach and shakes, if warnings from the spouse, partner or employer and if high liver enzymes aren't enough to clue me that I might have a problem with alcohol, I'll take the AA challenge and give up drinking for a year. It would be a monumental achievement considering I probably can't remember when I went that long without a drink after I started. And if I don't make it ...how about a piece of humble pie with a couple of side dishes of honesty and determination "to go to any lengths" to recover? Likewise, even if I am in recovery and it's been a few years since my last drink, what are the odds that I can start drinking responsibly again? Rhetorical question. Today, I set out on the AA challenge to go it alcohol-free for a year ...one day at a time. And our common journey continues. Step by step. - Chris M.

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~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~

NO FREE RIDE

The elevator is broken; use the Steps.

~ Anonymous ~

Elevators are easy. We push a button and we go right to the top. The way is fast, quick, and silent. We don't work up a sweat. We don't get out of breath. We can't trip and fall. There is not much time to communicate with anyone else along the way so we don't have to use any effort or thought. We can day dream as we face the front of the car and stare at the numbers as they change from floor to floor.

Then the elevator breaks and we crash to the ground. Those of us who survive are told to take the Steps to get where we want to go. Our addictions were our elevators out of living. The chemical highs we experienced were just like an elevator ride. Until we crashed.

I will sometimes sweat, stumble, get out of breath in my climb, but I'll take the time to talk with and learn from others who are taking the Steps with me.

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~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~

How much more grievous are the consequences of anger than the causes of it.

~ Marcus Aurelius ~

Anger shatters our calm. Some of us show it in loud bursts; others just quietly stew. Sometimes we feel angry inside but we still want to look kind and unperturbed, so our anger comes out sideways, hurting someone indirectly or in sneaky ways. We all have felt the pangs of regret after we said or did something in anger. We wish we could magically turn back the clock and undo the moment, gather up the pieces, and put them back together again.

No one can simply banish the basic human emotion of anger from his life. To be responsible, we must accept our anger. It arises from within us and handling it is our own responsibility, even when we are perfectly justified in feeling angry. We choose our way to express it. It is never responsible to say, “You made me angry, so it’s your fault that I blew up.”

After accepting our anger we strive to develop a space between the feeling and our actions. We learn to notice our feelings before they reach the explosion point. In that mental space we choose how to express them.

Today I will notice and accept my anger, then choose respectful ways to express it.

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~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~

Thank God my future isn’t what it used to be.

~ Jill Clark ~

Most of us were on our way to an awful destination, and it’s doubtful that we realized it at the time. In fact, we probably were satisfied with the direction we’d headed in and fiercely fought the forces that moved us off our chosen path. Fortunately, we lost the battle. In the process we gained this life, but it has taken time for us to understand how lucky we are to have been “saved.”

God’s grace has blessed us. We can call it “luck” or “karma” or “good planning” or an “accident,” but we hear those in recovery calling it grace. We know that they are right. Something intervened and changed the course of our lives.

We may not yet know just what our new direction is, but we can be certain that if we listen to the still, small voice within, we’ll understand the meaning of the grace that’s been bestowed on us.

My future is special. Today I’ll be shown what I need to know for living the next twenty-four hours.

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~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~

I want to show my gratitude with service

Not long ago it was all I could do to get out of bed. I was angry at the world for my dual disorder. Everything seemed to be going wrong. I was grateful to no one and nothing.

Since getting into the Twelve Step program, however, I am doing and feeling much better. Slowly my program has led me to acceptance and abstinence. It has even helped me to get psychiatrically stable. I feel such fullness and gratitude these days that I want to share it. I want to give back some of what I've been given. I want to help others feel better, too.

I will express my gratitude for the program and my home group and humbly offer to be of service.

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~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~

No man really becomes a fool until he stops asking questions.

~ Charles P. Steinmetz ~

We often pass up the chance to ask a question of someone because we don’t want to feel stupid. In the past, we kept very busy trying to look like we were in control; trying to seem as though we already knew what we needed to know. Now, in our new awareness that we can’t live life alone, there is much we need to ask. We can learn a lot from children in this area. They are so wonderfully free of inhibitions when it comes to asking questions, and as a result, they learn. Their world expands.

We understand ourselves and others better when we ask questions, when we seek out new knowledge. We haven’t experienced, studied, read about, or heard everything there is to know, so we have many questions, especially in the area of recovery. Now we know we can go ahead and ask, that it’s okay, that the answer may help improve the quality of our lives. The more we search, the more we will learn, and the more serenity we will find. Like children, our minds are hungry for knowledge.

Today help me ask questions without worrying about looking foolish, and respond to questions in the most helpful way I can.

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~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~

I am in that temper that if I were under water I would scarcely kick to come to the top.

~ John Keats ~

Everyone gets the blues or feels down from time to time. But if you feel down or blue on most days and have felt this way for an extended period of time, you may be suffering from depression.

It may bring you comfort to know that depression is quite common among alcoholics and drug abusers— both during their addiction as well as in their recovery. Common symptoms include such things as finding little enjoyment in life, even with those things or people that used to bring you pleasure; having trouble sleeping at night or getting out of bed in the morning; having a general disinterest in anything; experiencing a significant weight loss or gain; feeling intense fatigue and a general disconnection from yourself; experiencing feelings of sadness that do not go away; or having suicidal thoughts, f Even if you discover from this assessment that you are experiencing few or none of these symptoms and just feel clown from time to time, it is still a good idea to talk with II therapist. A mental health professional can provide help for how you are feeling and also become a valuable member of your recovery support network.

I will utilize all of the resources available to me so I can better understand how I am feeling.

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~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~

There is a divine plan of good at work in my life. I will let go and let it unfold.

~ Ruth P. Freedman ~

There is a lesson to be learned from each person we meet. Our contact, however brief, has happened for some reason. We may feel as if we are part of a play, especially when we meet someone at a particularly meaningful time. Maybe we were laid off from work and for some reason attended a meeting in a different town and sat next to an employer looking for someone with our qualifications.

Yet we may question the meaning behind meeting those who leave us with pain and heartache. We may wonder at the lessons to be learned from those who may treat us badly. Not all the lessons are easy, nor do all our contacts feel wonderful. But there is a purpose that can be seen after the healing of time. We'll always meet new people, just as we'll always be learning. These things we can trust are in the hands of our Higher Power.

Tonight, I will trust that my life is lit by goodness and that all people and events can add to my light.

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~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~

Lacking power over others

When we look closely at our lives, we may realize that we have little power over others (as shocking as that may seem). Yet often our arrogance gets so blown out of proportion that we think our actions can get people high or keep them straight! Think of that!

We are so important to ourselves, we begin to think that we are that important to others. We seldom see that our affairs have about as much weight with others as theirs do with us—and that is often little.

Do I realize that I can manage no one?

Higher Power, help me realize that my power over others is actually slight and protect me from my own arrogance.

If I find myself trying to manage others today, I will

God help me to stay clean and sober today!

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~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~

Day is short as ever; time’s as long as it has been.

~ GEECHEE PROVERB ~

Newcomer

A change in my work schedule means I can’t go to my regular meeting anymore. By the time I’d be able to get there, only half an hour would be left. It’s not worth it.

Sponsor

Once, when I was visiting another city, a friend and I drove all over in the rain looking for a meeting we’d heard about. We were in unfamiliar territory, and finding the street address took us over an hour. We talked, meanwhile, about our lives and our recovery; it was good sharing. At last we parked and found the meeting place. We realized that we’d walked in at the end, just as everyone was joining hands. We looked at one another and laughed, joined the circle, and said the Serenity Prayer with a roomful of recovering strangers. They seemed happy to let us join in. We’d all stayed sober for another day.

Yes, it’s important to go to whole meetings; whole meetings are essential to recovery. But if, under special circumstances, the only meeting we can get to is part of a meeting, we do it. Skipping meetings where we can connect with other recovering people, especially those who’ve begun to get to know us, can compound feelings of isolation. It spells danger for our recovery.

In this day of recovery, whatever I do, I do with all my attention.

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~ THE EYE OPENER ~

It is most fortunate for us arrested alcoholics that we can never know the price we paid for our former dissipations.

One man received a splendid promotion about a month ago, and was told that his name had been considered for the job for fourteen years but that it had been held up because of his drinking.

There is no use in crying over spilt milk—those days are gone forever and carried their opportunities with them—but today is here now.

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~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~

For Guidance

Father of light,
Give us wisdom to know You,
Intelligence to understand You,
Courage to seek You,
Patience to wait for You
Eyes to see You,
A heart to meditate on You,
And a life to proclaim You.

~ by St. Benedict ~

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~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~

GUIDED WISDOM

Give not that which is holy unto the dogs, neither cast ye your pearls before swine, lest they trample them under their feet, and turn again and rend you (Matthew 7:6).

Intelligence is just as essential a part of the Christian message as is love. God is love, but God is also infinite intelligence, and unless these two qualities are balanced in our lives, we do not get wisdom; for wisdom is the perfect blending of intelligence and love. Love with, out intelligence may do much undesigned harm—and intelligence without love may ultimate in clever cruelty. All true Christian activity will express wisdom.

Never rely upon your own judgment to say who is ready for the Truth and who is not, but rely for guidance upon the inspiration of the Holy Spirit. If you are praying regularly every day for wisdom, and fresh opportunities for service, the right people will be brought to you.

Remember that those with whom you associate closely will have your personal conduct under constant inspection. The quickest way to spread the Truth is by living the life yourself. Then people will notice the change in you and they will come round of their own accord, begging to share your secret.

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~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~

Table with a View

Make love now, by night and by day, in winter and in summer… You are in the world for that and the rest of life is nothing but vanity, illusion, waste. There is only one science, love, one riches, love, only one policy, love. To make love is all the law and the Prophets.

~ Anatole France ~

"Excuse me, sir, we are going to need this spot," a deep voice awakened me from my sunset reverie. I looked up and saw a young man wearing black tuxedo trousers and a short white waiter's jacket, setting up a dinner table on the grassy hill. He and an assistant laid out elegant white linen and cutlery befitting a fine restaurant.

"Is there some party happening?" I asked.

"It's a wedding anniversary."

"How many people are you preparing for?"

“Two. It’s the couple’s 25th anniversary. The husband is surprising his wife with a private catered dinner overlooking the beach.”

In just a few hours on a verdant knoll overlooking a Maui beach, a happy woman would have the surprise of her life. As she and her husband would be strolling along casually, he would suggest, "Why don't we rest here, honey?" she would sit, perplexed, as a gourmet restaurant crew would emerge from behind the bushes and serve them a meal fit for a king and his queen, before one of the most spectacular backdrops on the planet.

Let’s hear it for romance. Passion is a very holy thing. It is the very juice of life—the electricity that sparks all growth, achievement, and expression. Passion is the hand of God reaching into humanity to animate it to divinity.

Today, put some romance in to your life. If you’re in a relationship, surprise your beloved with a gift that you know will make him or her happy. And if you’re in relationship with yourself, give yourself flowers, get a massage, or do something for yourself that a lover would give you. Don’t miss a moment of the adventure of life. Make love now.

I will celebrate all the gifts You have created for my happiness.

The universe is my palette. I paint a glorious picture and step into it.

[bluidkiti]

July 15

Step by Step

" ...(T)he actual or potential alcoholic, with hardly an exception, will be absolutely unable to stop drinking on the basis of self-knowledge. This is a point we wish to emphasize and re-emphasize, to smash home upon our alcoholic readers as it has been revealed to us out of bitter experience." - Alcoholics Anonymous, 3rd Edition, 1976, Ch 3 ("More About Alcoholism"), p 39.

Today, the experience - "unable to stop drinking on the basis of self-knowledge" - serves as an omen that I cannot continue to drink even though I may still have some power to abstain for even long periods of time. But eventually that ability to abstain will be gone. Noting that the text of the program speaks not only to the alcoholic but also to the potential one, I must give up any egotistical thoughts that I am the exception to it. "Self-knowledge" did little to spare me the ravages of full alcoholism. Today, pray that I listen to the knowledge of others. And our common journey continues. Step by step. - Chris M.

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~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~

PREJUDICE

There is a principle which is a bar against all information, . . . and which cannot fail to keep [us] in everlasting ignorance-—that principle is contempt prior to investigation.

~ Herbert Spencer ~

When we were introduced to the Program, we were full of prejudices. We thought the members were some sort of religious cult, that they were a bunch of freaks, that they were self-righteous quitters who just couldn't handle their use, that they didn't know what they were talking about, that they couldn't possibly have had the problems we had because they all looked so happy.

Then the members started to speak. What they said and how they said it showed us immediately that we had prejudged them. They were spiritual, not religious; they had been where we were; they knew what they were talking about: they still had problems, but they were handling them. We began to want what they had. Our prejudices began to be removed.

I am learning to wait and see what the truth is, instead of relying on old ideas and prejudices I once held.

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~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~

We haven’t needed to direct our minds consciously all that much until now, and we haven’t really understood the delicacy and absolute necessity of doing so— until now.

~ Robert Ornstein ~

When we are highly alert to this very moment and we feel the importance of focusing our conscious minds, we are in a spiritual space. Our spiritual development grows along these lines—we become more and more skilled at centering our senses and our consciousness in this moment. This is how our calmness and serenity grow.

We know that our health and survival depend upon our spiritual growth. It is urgent for us, and for those that we love, that we become better, more serene men. We can practice this by always being mindful of the concrete truths around us, and by doing just one thing at a time. When we eat, we are aware of the flavors and textures of our food. When we wash the dishes, we focus our mind on just washing the dishes. Multitasking does not advance our spiritual growth or serenity. Calmness comes when we focus our minds and allow all distractions to fall away.

Today is the day I am alive, and in this day I will practice focusing my consciousness.

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~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~

Before a geographical change can improve your life, you need to leave old thoughts and habits behind or you’ll have the same problems in a new town.

~ Anne Marie Nelson ~

We can’t escape ourselves. Who we are tags along wherever we go. A spiteful attitude follows us to a new location. Self-pity doesn’t leave us just because we change jobs. And our expectation of failure won’t die just because we end a relationship. However, we can change our attitude, we can free ourselves of self-pity, and we can expect success when we take charge of who we are. Changing our external world can’t do it. Changing our internal world guarantees it.

But aren’t we simply who we are? How many times have we said, or heard others say, “That’s just who I am,” as though all hope of being different is out of the question? While it is true that we are who we are, who we want to be is always in our control. We have the power to change any aspect of our character.

My old habits have been discarded. I have no reason to pick them up today. The new me is here.

My few close, lasting friends are precious to me.

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~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~

I am getting honest

I couldn’t face my dual disorder at first, it was too confusing and threatening. I denied it to myself and to others. For example, I kept using street drugs, even when I was first in treatment, to reduce my psychological and psychiatric symptoms.

But having made a commitment to recovery I am coming to see how much it can help when I admit my weaknesses, my liabilities, to myself. It leaves me open to change. And when I tell another person about these liabilities, I find out that I am still OK, that I'm not a bad person after all. When I am honest and open, I no longer feel so alone. Instead, I feel forgiven and accepted.

I will use my journal and write down two secrets about myself that I haven't told anyone yet.

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~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~

I walked a mile with Sorrow,
And ne’er a word said she;
But, Oh, the things I learned from her
When Sorrow walked with me!

~ Robert Browning Hamilton ~

We may think that forgetting the past is essential for growth and peace of mind. It’s a tempting idea: we’ll start over again, we think, fresh and new. But if we lose that old pain, we’ll also lose all that we learned. We may repeat our mistakes, or make even worse ones next time. Dwelling on the past is equally dangerous. We began recovery to build a better life.

To find and maintain our balance, each area of our lives needs attention. A healthy mind in a healthy body is free to find God. And, with God’s help, we can learn to recognize and forgive our past mistakes, while we keep the remarkable lessons we learned from life.

With our remembering, with our inventory, we can truly experience the repentance that frees us from regret and remorse. When we acknowledge our mistakes, we can learn from them and come to forgive ourselves.

Today help me use my memories to learn and change. Help me to forgive my past.

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~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~

We’ve removed the ceiling above our dreams. There are no more impossible dreams.

~ Jesse Jackson ~

There are “if only” dreams in life and “what if” dreams. When you were using, your dreams were most likely “if onlys,” such as “If only I didn’t spend so much money gambling, I would be able to go away on vacation” or “If only I didn’t drink, I would be spending more time with my partner and kids.”

“If only” dreams are based upon regret and fault-finding. They are perfect mechanisms for self-blame—a sure-fire method for ensuring your dreams cannot come true.

“What if” dreams, on the other hand, are based upon possibilities and hope for the future. They focus on the things you want to do and will do to make a dream come true. “What if I saved a little bit of money each week— then I could go away for a weekend” or “What if I set aside one night during the week and one weekend afternoon to spend time with my kids—then we could get to know each other better.” When you think of your dreams as “what ifs,” you free them of any limitations. You make yourself an active participant in making them happen.

I will dream, and then I will act upon these dreams to make them happen.

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~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~

It was like a revelation to me, taking complete responsibility for one's own actions.

~ Cary Grant ~

All our lives we may have looked for someone to take care of us. This may have begun with our parents, then continued when we formed relationships. We may have found life was easier when someone else took responsibility for our finances, obligations, and emotional health. Whenever someone left us, we may have quickly latched onto someone new so we didn’t have to feel the burden of taking responsibility.

The program teaches us that we are the only ones who can take care of us. After entering the program we may feel like we're suddenly stripped bare, vulnerable to the whole world of responsibility: bill paying, social obligations, career decisions, health, and fitness.

We may not know all we need to know about taking responsibility for ourselves, but we're learning. Every time we do something on our own, for ourselves, we are that much closer to responsible living.

I can take responsibility for many parts of my life. When I don't know how to do something I can ask for help from others.

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~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~

Paying for freedom

Henry David Thoreau said, “The cost of a thing is the amount of what I will call life which is required to be exchanged for it, immediately or in the long run.” The price we paid for using alcohol and other drugs was our freedom. We finally realized that it costs too much to feel oblivious. The price became so high that we could no longer barter with mood-altering chemicals for our time and freedom. The chemicals had absolute control.

Unless we wake up and pay the price for freedom—which is spiritual growth—we will be a slave to chemicals until death. But if we turn our lives over to God, all the liberty we need is made available to us.

Am I paying the right price for my freedom?

Higher Power, help me always to remember that the cost of using chemicals in my life is much too high.

Today I will pay for greater freedom by

God help me to stay clean and sober today!

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~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~

Life is not an easy thing to embrace, like trying to hug an elephant.

~ DIANE WAKOSKI ~

Newcomer

I sat through a meeting today in anger. It started when I walked in and saw who was up there speaking—someone I know and don’t trust. She did everything her way and I didn’t hear much program, at least as I know it. I feel ashamed of having that reaction, especially at this point in recovery, but that’s how I felt.

Sponsor

Thanks for your honesty. Most of us in recovery have strong feelings of resistance at one time or another. I’ve certainly experienced the kind you’re talking about. Sometimes we all want what we want when we want it.

Recovery doesn’t always come wrapped in the package I was hoping for. I blame my negative mood on other people in the room. I start taking inventory of others, and no one sounds sober enough for me.

As in any group of people, there are some we relate to with more ease, others with more difficulty. Over time, as we let go of criticism, our acceptance of others helps us to accept our whole selves.

Today, I see myself in others. I look and listen with compassion.

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~ THE EYE OPENER ~

Suspicion, and its first cousin, jealousy, are the world's most bitter poisons. They are compounded from surmise, rumor, and malicious gossip and are mixed in the retort of confused and unsure minds.

They serve no useful purpose on earth, but they torture all who possess them, It is much better for a person to have his worst fears justified than to live with unproven suspicions.

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~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~

Teach Me

Dear God, teach me to listen to Your many blessings.
Steer my life toward Your will and the tranquil haven You provide for all storm-tossed souls.
Show me the course I should take.
Renew a willing spirit within me.
Let Your spirit curb my wayward senses.
Enable me unto that which is my true good, to keep Your laws and, in all my works, to rejoice in Your glorious presence.

~ Adapted from writings by St. Basil the Great ~

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~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~

CHILDREN OF THE MOST HIGH

Read Matthew 7:7-11.

This is the wonderful passage in which Jesus enunciates the primary truth of the Fatherhood of God. He says here, definitely and clearly, that the real relationship of God and man is that of parent and child. It is extremely difficult to realize the far-reaching importance that this declaration holds for the life of the soul.

It is axiomatic, of course, that the offspring must be of the same nature and species as the parent; and so if God and man are indeed Father and child, man must be essentially divine too, and susceptible of infinite development up the rising pathway of divinity. That is to say, as man's true nature unfolds, he will expand in spiritual consciousness until he has transcended all bounds of human imagination. It is in reference to our glorious destiny, that Jesus himself says elsewhere, quoting the older scriptures:

Jesus answered them, Is it not written in your law, I said, Ye are gods?

If he called them gods, unto whom the word of God come, and the scripture cannot be broken . . . (John 10:34-35).

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~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~

Easy Way Out

Teach only love, for that is what you are.

~ A Course in Miracles ~

I saw a news story about a woman named Elsa who had been held hostage by an escaped criminal. Robert, a man fleeing from the police, broke into Elsa's country home and held her captive at gunpoint while a large SWAT team surrounded her home with an arsenal of firearms. Fortunately, Elsa was a psychologist, and she applied her listening skills to her interactions with this man. Over the two days that Robert occupied her home, Elsa did her best not to panic, and invited him to speak of the pain in his life. Quickly, she recognized that he was like a frightened beast trying to escape from his own wounds. She showed him kindness and cooked for him. As a result of their conversations, Robert calmed down and turned himself in, leaving her unharmed. When he was being tried, Elsa testified on his behalf stating that he was acting out of fear and desperation. When Robert went to prison, Elsa visited him, and when he got out, she became his friend, a compassionate listener. Both Elsa and Robert reported that although their initial encounter was extremely dangerous for both of them, they felt grateful that they had dealt with it as they had.

The choice for peace is always empowering. When we refuse to give in to fear, we are able to see solutions that we would miss in hysteria. Any situation can lead to great pain or great freedom, depending on how we handle it. Even a hardened criminal can be healed and corrected with the touch of love. Practice being kind in situations where you are tempted to panic; that is how to become a true miracle worker.

Help me to remember that love works better than fear.

I can find the heart of anyone I seek to reach.