![]() Links |
![]() Join |
![]() Forums |
![]() Find Help |
![]() Recovery Readings |
![]() Spiritual Meditations |
![]() Chat |
![]() Contact |
|
|
Family and Friends of Alcoholics and Addicts This forum is for families and friends whose lives have been affected by someone else's drinking and/or drug abuse. |
![]() ![]() |
|
Thread Tools | Display Modes |
|
![]() |
#1 | |
Super Moderator
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Hamilton, ON
Posts: 25,078
|
![]() Quote:
I can identify with the angry with God. I just wish He would give me a little hint so We both know what He is doing! In order to accept the disease, I looked at it as a dis-ease. I was at dis-ease within myself, and was always looking for something outside of myself to make me feel better. An allergy of the body, I don't metabolize alcohol the way others do. According to a tape I heard, normal people metabolize one in 10-15 minutes. An alcoholic often takes 20=30 minutes. By the time he has his second drink, the first one is still in his system. It is also an obsession of the mind. It took over my life and all my values, principles and integrity were put aside and I became a different person. One I had trouble recognizing and as I have said so many times, every time I picked up, I gave away a piece of me. When I came into recovery, there was very little 'me' left. It is a disease that tells me that I don't have one. It tells me this time will be different. It tells me this time I can control it. If I take charge of my life, I can control what is happening. The Spirit of Alcohol becomes the God of my life and became my life. When I came into recovery, the Spirit of God takes control of my life when I give it over to Him. June 2009
__________________
Love always, Jo I share because I care. ![]() |
|
![]() |
![]() |
Sponsored Links |
![]() |
#2 |
Super Moderator
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Hamilton, ON
Posts: 25,078
|
![]()
I asked myself, "If I am not an alcoholic, what am I?" I didn't like that answer either. I found that as a daughter of an alcoholic and a person who had an eating disorder, gave me a very dysfunctional outlook on life. Being married to a man who ran around with other women and was with another woman when our son was born was hard on my self-esteem and self-worth. I later learned that when you said "No!" it was rape, even though it was your husband. My second husband was an alcoholic, my judgment and me taking his inventory. In today, I know he was a drunk and when I decided, "If you can't beat them, join them, I became an alcoholic." In recovery, I came to realize that I had the thinking for many years, right back to that first drink I stole at the age of 10 years of age.
I used people, places and things for years. When I saw my brother killed when I was three, I used anything that was available to escape reality. Over the years, it took more and more of what ever substance I chose in the moment to cope with life until such a time as I could no longer cope; and it got to a place where I was thinking, "Stop the world, I want to get off." So I questioned life, I questioned myself, and I questioned others. I came into recovery, and found a solution. I saw it working for others, so I followed the suggestions, and it worked for me too. The people in the rooms loved me back to good health until I could learn to love myself. ![]()
__________________
Love always, Jo I share because I care. ![]() |
![]() |
![]() |
![]() |
#3 | |
Super Moderator
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Hamilton, ON
Posts: 25,078
|
![]() Quote:
... In All Our Affairs It is also a sure sign that I am out of balance within myself or I have pushed a play button and living in the past. Sometimes I don't realize that it is an old tape because it is familiar and comfortable and just feels right. That doesn't make it right. It just means I need to take a look at it, then turn it over to my God and ask for new direction and understanding. ========= Just gave my son the money to go see the movie Star Wars, plus money for popcorn and pop. It is an early Christmas present, something I wasn't going to buy for him because it seems like I have already given him several presents already. I went up to him and said, "Are you bored?" He looked despondent, and the "Oh Woe is me on his face and his body language." He said, "I am always bored." He doesn't go back to work until the new year, and not too sure exactly when that will be. It seemed easier to give out the money than to be around him when he is so depressed. I am not feeling good and don't need the extra doom and gloom. So not sure I was listening to the subliminal message he was sending me, "Oh I would really like to see Star Wars, or whether I was completely doing it from my heart." ![]() Am I enabling him or myself? ![]()
__________________
Love always, Jo I share because I care. ![]() |
|
![]() |
![]() |
![]() |
#4 |
Super Moderator
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Hamilton, ON
Posts: 25,078
|
![]()
Like the topic, how do you deal with unacceptable behaviour. I don't have to accept it, I can set a boundary. Sometimes I have to reinforce it. I choose not to let others disrespect me as a person. I didn't think I was worthy for many years and allowed others to dictate, control, and project THEIR stuff onto me. In today, that isn't acceptable. My words and thoughts are mine. I try to share them with the hope that it will help others. I have issues with people who want me to take them back, not speak and share them, and as my ex-husband use to say, "Who asked for your opinion? What makes you think we want to hear what you have to say?" "What makes you think your opinion and ideas count?" That is why I take exception to people who delete them, discount them (they are my truth, even if they are not those of others), and as they say, "May we agree to disagree."
![]()
__________________
Love always, Jo I share because I care. ![]() |
![]() |
![]() |
![]() |
#5 | |
Super Moderator
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Hamilton, ON
Posts: 25,078
|
![]() Quote:
A quote from the Big Book. A good indicator how we justified and rationalized our behaviour. In the moment it seemed sane and we figured our intent was good, and just couldn't figure out what we did wrong. How could a simple idea end up so grown out of proportion and develop into just a catastrophic event? Never once did I think it was the alcohol doing my thinking. The thought that I was not in control would have been horrifying if someone had suggested such a thing. It was an illusion and for all intensive purposes, false evidence appearing real. What is my motive and intent? Is it my will or my God's Will for my life? ![]()
__________________
Love always, Jo I share because I care. ![]() |
|
![]() |
![]() |
![]() |
#6 | |
Super Moderator
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Hamilton, ON
Posts: 25,078
|
![]() Quote:
![]()
__________________
Love always, Jo I share because I care. ![]() |
|
![]() |
![]() |
![]() |
#7 |
Super Moderator
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Hamilton, ON
Posts: 25,078
|
![]()
When I went to Al-Anon, I was told that I was doubly blessed. I found friends in both fellowships. I could identify from both sides of the street.
I learned to identify not compare. I learned not to judge, no one had walked in my shoes and I hadn't walked in theirs, yet we could walk this recovery road together. I had my own disease and had to learn to focus on me, not on the "A"s in my life and recognize all facets of my addiction. My addiction to the alcoholic/addict, food, work, etc.
__________________
Love always, Jo I share because I care. ![]() |
![]() |
![]() |
![]() |
#8 | |
Super Moderator
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Hamilton, ON
Posts: 25,078
|
![]() Quote:
What makes you happy? When I was asked this question in early recovery, I didn't know. I had lived my life through others, and I used to be one of those who use to say, "If you are happy, so am I." Coyote: Wisdom, jokester, having fun, stimulates cooperation and tasks, adaptations, balances knowledge and laughter into teaching, shows us how to learn from our mistakes with wisdom and a sense of humor, sense of family and children, demonstrating and communicating along with balancing risk and safety, trust and connection to the Spirit to find answers. Are you taking yourself too seriously? Too uptight and stressed? Are you trusting enough right now? Coyote will teach resourcefulness and adapting to new situations and how humor can be a useful tool in any situation. Animal Totem Dictionary of Animals ![]()
__________________
Love always, Jo I share because I care. ![]() |
|
![]() |
![]() |
![]() |
#9 | |
Super Moderator
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Hamilton, ON
Posts: 25,078
|
![]() Quote:
Like this, it was life changing for me, when I learned that I had to feel the feeling before I could let it go. I had numbed my feelings, not know that when you ignore and stuff the negative, you block the positive as well.
__________________
Love always, Jo I share because I care. ![]() |
|
![]() |
![]() |
![]() |
#10 | |
Super Moderator
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Hamilton, ON
Posts: 25,078
|
![]()
When I opened my Courage to Change book today, I wasn't on today's reading, but read what I opened to and it not only spoke to me but roared!
If you have read my chip of the day, you will know why. Here are the quotes that stuck out for me: Quote:
Willpower cnnot eliminate in a day troubles that have taken root and flourished in my life for decades. Things take time. This is something I forget. I tend to forget that this is a one day at a time program. It doesn't all have to happen in today. Quick fixes don't work. Recovery is a process. I didn't get this way overnight, so why should I figure it is pray, ask for help, get it and it is all over and done with. When I get caught up in the moment, I can get stuck in the fear and it takes a few to realize that I don't have to stay there, I can change it, by surrendering, and turning it over instead of hanging on, and criticize myself and beating myself up for my shortcomings. A shortcoming to me is being less than my God would have me be in today. The trouble is, He doesn't expect me to 'fix' it, all He asks me to do is try. It is in the not trying, just giving up that I fail to do his will and become willful and say "Won't" and until the pain is so bad, I have no other choice, then I get a resentment, when it fact it is my fault, all I had to do was let go! So many things are old tapes and are hard to recognize. I think that sometimes I think on something as a belief system when in fact it is something that was projected onto me a long time ago and that I am sitll carrying around even though it is old news. So many times, I have had to pray, "I ask for the willingness to be willing, Thy will, not mine."
__________________
Love always, Jo I share because I care. ![]() |
|
![]() |
![]() |
![]() |
#11 | |
Super Moderator
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Hamilton, ON
Posts: 25,078
|
![]() Quote:
__________________
Love always, Jo I share because I care. ![]() |
|
![]() |
![]() |
![]() |
#12 | |
Super Moderator
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Hamilton, ON
Posts: 25,078
|
![]() Quote:
__________________
Love always, Jo I share because I care. ![]() |
|
![]() |
![]() |
![]() |
#13 | |
Super Moderator
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Hamilton, ON
Posts: 25,078
|
![]() Quote:
Posted on another site in 2004 The best way for me to change my attitude is to go to a meeting. My son has even been known to suggest that I get myself there. For me, it is important that he is in his disease and not take things personal. I could be hurt and sad, but why go around in doom and gloom. I can't change him, but I can change me and my attitude. Sometimes it means reinforcing my boundaries and detaching from a situation, I have the tools of the program to help me through each day.
__________________
Love always, Jo I share because I care. ![]() |
|
![]() |
![]() |
![]() |
#14 | |
Super Moderator
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Hamilton, ON
Posts: 25,078
|
![]() Quote:
__________________
Love always, Jo I share because I care. ![]() |
|
![]() |
![]() |
![]() |
#15 |
Super Moderator
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Hamilton, ON
Posts: 25,078
|
![]()
Food for Thought
May 18 Safety I am safe as long as I do not take the first compulsive bite. Abstinence is my security. If I break my abstinence, I lose my protection against the confusion, remorse, and pain of overeating. To keep my abstinence strong, I need to use the OA tools of recovery each day. I need to build my program and to give it my best efforts. Remembering that my Higher Power has given me a new life, I will not endanger it by forgetting how much I need His care. Temptation is always appearing in one form or another. Sometimes it may seem impossible not to give in. My strength lies not in myself but in God, and only by maintaining close contact with Him can I remain safe. My Higher Power has led me to OA and has given me a safe place to be. When I am tempted or upset, I will use the telephone, go to a meeting, practice Step Eleven, and do whatever else it takes to maintain my abstinence. Thank You for bringing me to a safe place. ----- It doesn't matter what fellowship I went to, I could identify, because food is a drug. Alcohol is a drug. When we eat and drink it seems normal. What isn't normal is our body's reaction to it. Normal is a cycle on a washing machine. Do you feel safe? I walked into my first meeting and found that I wanted what they had and was willing to go to any length to get it. ![]()
__________________
Love always, Jo I share because I care. ![]() |
![]() |
![]() |
![]() ![]() |
Bookmarks |
Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 2 (0 members and 2 guests) | |
|
|
![]() |
||||
Thread | Thread Starter | Forum | Replies | Last Post |
AA question | Dodgerguy22 | Newcomers Recovery Help and Support | 3 | 03-23-2015 02:08 AM |
Question - Men to Women Ratio | stk | Recovery Topics and Questions | 2 | 07-07-2014 01:49 PM |