Today's Thought - June

[bluidkiti]

June 1

We have all known people in our lives who supported us when we were most in need of their assistance. We knew we could count on them—not in some codependent way, where they just continued to let us stay stuck in damaging addictive patterns, but by lending us a hand up to help us out of the mire of self-destructive behaviors.

Often, we did not acknowledge them for their important aid or for their actions that made a difference in our lives, because they were so reliable. Not only are such people ongoing good role models, but they can also inspire us to embody this important quality ourselves. This quality of being a reliable helper is not limited to teachers, health care professionals, or family. We are lifted up by the many individuals in the world who work with integrity and consistently do their job well. Their reliability is what enables the world to function, from the person who grew the food we ate this morning, to the mechanic who worked on our car, to the individual who made our clothes, to the person interviewing us for a job we really want.

I honor those whose reliability assists me in everyday tasks, as well as those who lifted me from the abyss.

Today's reading is from the book Cornerstones, Daily Meditations for the Journey into Manhood and Recovery

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June 2

Staying in the Present Moment

Often, one of our biggest questions is “What’s going to happen?” We may ask this about our relationships, our career, our recovery, our life. It is easy to tangle ourselves up in worrisome thoughts.

Worrying about what’s going to happen blocks us from functioning effectively today. It keeps us from doing our best now. It blocks us from learning and mastering today’s lessons. Staying in the now, doing our best, and participating fully today are all we need to do to assure ourselves that what’s going to happen tomorrow will be for the best.

Worrying about what’s going to happen is a negative contribution to our future. Living in the here and now is ultimately the best thing we can do, not only for today, but for tomorrow. It helps our relationships, our career, our recovery and our life.

Things will work out, if we let them. If we must focus on the future other than to plan, all we need to do is affirm that it will be good.

I pray for faith that my future will be good if I live today well, and in peace. I will remember that staying in the present is the best thing I can do for my future. I will focus on what’s happening now instead of what’s going to happen tomorrow.

Today's reading is from the book The Language of Letting Go, Daily Meditations on Codependency

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Juen 3

Guilt has very quick ears to an accusation.

~Henry Fielding

A fellow at a meeting told a strange story to make a point about the very human tendency to take on undeserved guilt. The story was about a little trick he liked to play in his office once in a while. It seems he would choose a fellow employee at random, approach him innocently, and whisper, “They know,” while looking around furtively. Then he would walk away quickly and watch what happened from a distance. Inevitably, he said, the recipient of this strange message first looked bewildered and then looked worried. Sometimes the person would start to sweat, the man said, and every time his frantic thoughts became nearly visible on his face: “Oh my God, how much do they know? What will they do about it? Will they tell anyone?”

The point was that nearly everybody is vulnerable to shame. Even the innocent have a knee-jerk tendency to conceal and protect. How horrified would we be, he asked, if someone whispered “They know” to us? Would we panic? Or would we be healthy enough to laugh it off since there is nothing anyone else could know that we aren’t already dealing with?

Today, I pray for the courage to keep on working through my fear.

Today's reading is from the book Days of Healing, Days of Joy, Daily Meditations for Adult Children

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June 4

Believe more deeply. Hold your face up to the light, even though for the moment you do not see.

~Bill Wilson

At times, despair, sadness, and hopelessness fill us. None of us will get out of this world without experiencing tragedy. At these times, we turn to our Higher Power and the spiritual principles as guides. At these times especially, we turn to the fellowship. We are here to help each other, comfort each other, and offer sanctuary to each other. We are to be each other’s gifts.

During our active addiction, when troubles came, we turned inward, pretending everything was okay. We acted as if we needed no one—mainly because we trusted no one. We were surrounded by darkness, inside and out. Recovery teaches us to trust in the “light,” to believe it is there even when we can’t see it. It may be as close as our next meeting or a phone call to our sponsor. In this, we must believe deeply.
Prayer for the Day

Higher Power, I look to you when I can’t see. Show me the light. I look to you for the guidance I cannot give myself. Show me the way and give me hope. Higher Power, thank you!
Today's Action

Today I will remember a time during my active addiction when I felt hopeless. I will reflect on what I learned from this and share my thoughts with a recovery friend.

Today's reading is from the book God Grant Me, More Daily Meditations from the Authors of Keep It Simple

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June 5

If Winter comes
Can Spring be far behind?

~Percy Bysshe Shelley

We do not need to be afraid of winter. In winter, nature lies fallow in preparation for the new year. All life needs rest in order to grow with greater strength, and winter is the time of withdrawal that precedes renewal.

Sometimes it may seem that our lives have become dark and hopeless, and we can’t see a way forward. Perhaps a relationship has gone sour, and we think it must be the end. Work goes badly; money is a problem; our children go away. We become lost in our melancholy and feel things will never get better.

We can draw strength from the wisdom of the seasons. Bare trees will become clothed in green, and the hard earth will again yield harvests of plenty. We can appreciate this transformation as it happens every year, and we can take hope from it. We can also see our lives as bound to change.

Nothing in my life need defeat me, since I know that spring and summer will always come again.

Today's reading is from the book Answers in the Heart, Daily Meditations for Men and Women Recovering from Sex Addiction

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June 6

Healthy Pride

Pride works from within; it is the direct appreciation of oneself.

~Arthur Schopenhauer

Pride should not be feared. It is listed among the “seven deadly sins,” but that is arrogance or false pride, not healthy pride that is a necessary part of self-esteem. Our program teaches us that the pride that “goes before a fall” is an unhealthy state, a symptom of egotism, grandiosity, and arrogance.

No harm will come to spiritual growth from the pride experienced when we freely admit to ourselves that any accomplishment of ours was not made by us alone. Humble pride acknowledges the guidance of others and faith in a Higher Power whom we call upon for inspiration and motivation.

With humility and God’s help, I can learn to have healthy pride in my accomplishments and growth in the program.

Today's reading is from the book Easy Does It, A Book of Daily Twelve Step Meditations

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June 7

People who lean on logic and philosophy and rational exposition end by starving the best part of the mind.

~J. B. Yeats

It’s a bitter pill to swallow, but our intelligence only gets in the way when we’re dealing with things that really count: our feelings and how we express them.

Love is the be-all and end-all. If we are capable of loving, we have nothing to worry about. If we’re having trouble expressing our loving nature, our priority must be to remove the barriers. One of those barriers is our belief in the overriding importance of our intelligence. Intelligence is like good looks; they are both unearned. And we can be sure that our Creator does not evaluate us on the basis of how intelligent we are. If we ask, God will help us overcome our reliance on our intelligence and all other handicaps that keep us from expressing love.

The best part of my mind links me to others, and to God.

Today's reading is from the book In God's Care, Daily Meditations on Spirituality in Recovery

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June 8

… I was taught that the way of progress is neither swift nor easy.

~Marie Curie

We are looking for progress, not perfection; however, we sometimes get lost or confused between the two. Expecting ourselves to be perfect at something we are only now learning is a familiar affliction. As we accept our humanness, we'll allow the mistakes that are a normal pan of the process of living and learning—a process we call progress.

Our need to be perfect will lessen with time. And we can help ourselves break the old habits. Perfection and self-worth are not symbiotic, except in our minds. And it's a symbiosis that has done us a grave injustice. Breaking the old thought patterns takes a commitment. We must first decide and believe that we are worthwhile, simply because we are. There is only one of us; we have a particular gift to offer this world. And our being is perfect as is. Affirming this, repeatedly, is our beginning. But with this, too, progress will be slow; perfection need only be worked for, not achieved.

The patterns l am weaving with my life are complex, full of intricate detail and knots. I need to go slow, taking only one stitch at a time. With hindsight l will see that whatever the progress, it was the perfect fit to the overall design.

Today's reading is from the book Each Day a New Beginning, Daily meditations for Women

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June 9

If you want others to be happy, practice compassion. If you want to be happy, practice compassion.

~Dalai Lama

The word compassion means literally to suffer with someone. We normally use the word more broadly to mean empathize, or feel, with a person. Moving out of the prison of our own self-centeredness, we grow in the ability to see the world through the eyes of others. We grow wiser and more effective in our own lives because we aren’t limited to one outlook. We learn to forgive ourselves and suddenly we are much freer with our forgiveness of others.

There is a generosity of spirit in compassion, and the most generous attitude comes when we can act compassionately with someone we don’t especially like. Even though we may not choose a particular guy to be our best friend, we can accept and honor the hard times he has had, and we can put ourselves in his place to see what his challenges have been. Nothing is more admirable than a strong man acting generously and compassionately toward another human being.

Today, I will strive to be generous with compassion and to see the world as someone else sees it.

Today's reading is from the book Stepping Stones, More Daily Meditations for Men

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June 10

AA Thought for the Day

In AA we’re all through with lying, hangovers, remorse, and wasting money. When we were drinking, we were only half alive. Now that we’re trying to live decent, honest, unselfish lives, we’re really alive. Life has a new meaning for us, so that we can really enjoy it. We feel that we’re some use in the world. We’re on the right side of the fence, instead of on the wrong side. We can look the world in the face instead of hiding in alleys. We come into AA to get sober and if we stay long enough, we learn a new way of living. Am I convinced that no matter how much fun I got out of drinking, that life never was as good as the life I can build in AA?
Meditation for the Day

I want to be at one with the Divine Spirit of the universe. I will set my deepest affections on things spiritual not on things material. As we think, so we are. So I will think of and desire that which will help, not hinder, my spiritual growth. I will try to be at one with God. No human aspiration can reach higher than this.
Prayer for the Day

I pray that I may think love, and love will surround me. I pray that I may think health, and health will come to me.

Today's reading is from the book Twenty-Four Hours a Day, A Spiritual Resource with Practical Applications for Daily Life

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June 11

The stream that was locked up for the winter now ripples and gurgles along its way.

~John F Gardner

Winter presents us with a frozen world, silent, sometimes forbidding. It seems like such a harsh time, forcing us indoors, letting us out only when we're wrapped in extra woolens, extra boots, extra hats and mittens. But beneath the snow's blanket, the earth is resting. Just as we sleep at night, the earth naps, nurturing its roots and bulbs, replenishing its moisture and minerals, refreshing itself. Spring is the earth's first stirring; it opens one eye, then another, wiggles a toe, stretches, yawns. The earth rises, shaking leaves off, brushing twigs away. It sends new shoots up to welcome the day.

We, too, are part of nature, and as such we experience our own seasons. Sometimes we are happy, full of energy, always able to handle obstacles. When we are down, when things seem to be too much for us to handle, we must remember that it is natural and proper to feel that way, and that soon, without our even trying, a new season will lift our hearts.

When I feel low, what can I do best?

Today's reading is from the book Today's Gift, Daily Meditations for Families

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June 12

When all else fails, read the instructions.

~Agnes Allen

The instructions for recovery are in our Twelve Step program. Yet there are times when we feel our program isn’t working. At these times, we need to read the instructions.

Have you followed the “instructions,” the wise words found in the Big Book, the Twelve and Twelve, and other recovery literature? When we do, we recover. It’s hard at times and easy at others. Our problems go deeper than just staying sober. No matter what our problems, our program can help us start fixing them, if we follow the instructions. Don’t use alcohol or other drugs. Go to meetings. Talk often with sponsors and program friends. Work the Steps. Think. Easy does it. First things first. Listen. Let go and let God. One day at a time.
Prayer for the Day

Higher Power, keep me coming back to the instructions. If I’m headed for trouble, help me out.
Action for the Day

I’ll read the instructions today.

Today's reading is from the book Keep it Simple, Daily Meditations for Twelve Step Beginnings and Renewal

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June 13

How good and how pleasant it is that brothers sit together.

~Psalm 133:1

Men are lonely and more vulnerable to addictions and codependency when they have no firm friendships with other men. Do we have one or two male friends who truly know us, know what really goes on in our lives, what we feel, and what our doubts are? If we do, these relationships are precious. We need to nourish them. If we do not, we need to find others who might become friends. We begin by taking small steps in the development of a friendship.

The joys of sharing with other men, finding humor in our mutual flaws, and joining in similar interests have no substitutes. Relationships develop when someone reaches out. It is easier for us to do this if we remember our friendship is a gift to someone else. We need friendships with both women and men in order to be whole. But understanding ourselves as men begins with closeness to other men.

I am grateful for precious friendships with men and women in my life. They help me grow. Today, can I strengthen my friendship with another man?

Today's reading is from the book Touchstones, A Book of Daily Meditations for Men

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June 14

Taking it slowly

Let’s not make haste and demand perfection at once— this would only blind us. If we are impatient, we cannot work a daily program. But by exercising patience, we learn to recognize daily opportunities for growth.

It is worth waiting for, striving for, and working to develop a relationship with our Higher Power. It cannot be done overnight. Let’s not go too fast, but count each day as a new opportunity.

Am I learning to take it slowly?

Higher Power, I pray that I may meet each day with patience and grow closer to you.

I will take it easy today by…

Today's reading is from the book Day by Day, Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts

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June 15

Reflection for the Day

We’re taught in the program and the Twelve Steps that the chief activator of our defects has been self-centered fear—mainly fear that we would lose something we already possessed or that we would fail to get something we demanded. Living on the basis of unsatisfied demands, we obviously were in a state of continual disturbance and frustration. Therefore, we are taught, no peace will be ours unless we find a means of producing these demands. Have I become entirely ready to have my Higher Power remove all my defects of character?
Today I Pray

May I make no unrealistic demands on life, which, because of their grandiosity, cannot be met. May I place no excessive demands on others which, when they are not fulfilled, leave me disappointed and let down.
Today I Will Remember

Today I will remember the setup for a letdown.

Today's reading is from the book A Day at a Time, Daily Reflections for Recovering People