Characteristics of ACoAs

[MajestyJo]

Characteristics of ACOA (Adult Children of Alcoholics)

Janet Geringer Ph.D list several characteristics that are commonly shared by ACOA.

1. ACOA?s guess at what is normal
2. ACOA?s have difficulty following a project through from beginning to end.
3. ACOA?s lie when it would be just as easy to tell the truth.
4. ACOA judge themselves without mercy
5. ACOA?s having difficulty having fun.
6. ACOA?s take themselves very seriously.
7. ACOA?s have difficulty with intimate relationships.
8. ACOA?s overreact to changes over which they have no control.
9. ACOA?s constantly seek approval and affirmation.
10. ACOA?s feel that they are different from other people.
11. ACOA?s are either super-responsible or super-irresponsible
12. ACOA?s are extremely loyal even in the face of evidence that the loyalty is undeserved.
13. ACOA?s are impulsive. (Lock self on course of action without give proper consideration.

[MajestyJo]

This was good for a re-read, always need to remember. This is also a part of my dis-ease.

Tonight on my way home from detox meeting, I shared with my friend about how grateful I was that I had found AA before I went to Adult Children of Alcoholics.

If I hadn't gone to AA first, I would have remained in my denial a lot longer and may never have entered into the rooms of recovery for myself.

At my first meeting, it was like "Mirror, Mirror on the Wall, which of us hurts the most of all!" I identified so much with what people shared, but I know that I would have taken it as an affirmation of my using, rather than the fact that I was a product of my environment.

My father was an alcoholic, my mother died as a result of her overeating, and I became an alcoholic and addict. In today, thanks to recovery, I know that they are not to blame, that I made my own choices, and that when I made the choice to stop, I couldn't, without the rooms of recovery.

Justification and rationalization darn near killed me, it kept me sick and in denial for a long, long time.

I was so grateful that I found out that alcohol wasn't the problem, it was but a symptom of my disease. My problem was an obsessive compulsive mind, a disease of perception, and one of denial that told me I was just "fine" and it was everyone else who had the problem not me, and if everyone just did what I thought they should, or acted the way that I knew the good Lord intended them to act, and if they would just not annoy me, and they would do as I say, then everything would just be just grand! LOL.

Sounds good in the telling, but in reality it is really sick! Thank God for the rooms of recovery and a second chance at life. Thank you for the give of self-honesty and the gift of forgiveness and grace.

Found on another site, something I posted in 2004