Recovery from heroin addiction

[Jw78]

I got in a program called Chesterfield County Drug Court in 2006 after years of IV drug use. I wont mention the experiences that led up to this, just after being clean/sober. I completed the program successfully after 2 years 8 months. I discovered I had hepatitis c during the program and was under constant monitoring by a specialist. I remained employed throughout the program with full medical benefits. Shortly after the program I was still suffering from insomnia. The doctor didn't adminster me medications for this, being I was an addict at this time. I was in the middle of seeing specialists and my employer terminated me on the day of another doctors appointment for insomnia. This struck as a serious upset, after 5 years of hard work and good wages were being payed to me. I was extremely tolerant with this employer, with an assault taking place on the job. While I was driving a workvan, I had an employee throw a sandwich in my face, and draw his fist back and start screaming in my face, with 3 people in the front of the 2 seater van. When the van was parked, I had my shirt grabbed, a fist drawn back in my face, and more screaming. I was seated in the driver seat when this happened. This employee was kept valuably employed. When I was terminated, I had a doctor appointment sceduled that day, and another appointment sceduled with my specialist for hepatitis c. I was under consideration for treatment and medication. The employer had my unemployment denied, in which I took my savings and hired an attourney. 3500 dollars later the attourney had the denial of benefits overturned. The employers lawyer had them offer 5 thousand dollars to disperse me. Hard to believe after 5 years of work and a 17.50 dollar an hour wage. Getting sober and clean is rough, as people do NOT want you on the same level as the ones who never used needles and IV drugs. Another employer offered me part time work for around 10 dollars an hour. I was collecting more on unemployment, and stated this when he called me to come work. I did as unemployment stated, take work if you are offered it. I bulged a disc working on this mans job. The work was installing a duct system in an attic. A severe pain in the middle back with a numb part of the leg were the symptoms. The man told me I would be arrested if I show back up on the job, and to stay away from his company, his family, and not to call him. 100 dollars was offered to aid with medical care. His insurance company had big dollars to hire an attourney and denied paying for the injury, as I represented myself. I lost 2 weeks of unemployment, payed for my own doctor coverage and ran out of money to keep having doctor care. The treatment of an ex junkie at employers is not good. Both circumstances would have been handled differently I'm sure if I wasn't an ex heroin addict with a disease. Those are the ones that need to be put on the street in people's eyes apparently. Through all that a few relapses happened, but none prolonged. During my frustrations of getting sober, I got into weightlifting and suffer many reprocussions from that, being no gym instructor showed me good technique in the local YMCA. I had memories from childhood come back in the last year or so. Memories of me speaking with a Holy Spirit as a child in the 1980's. I rolled off the edge of a rock quarry and cracked my skull when I hit the bottom. I was instructed to do this for the works of this Spirit. This Holy Spirit showed me many things. One of which was a man who had a woman and child sitting down I believe against a wall or building. The man also had someone else beside him, and he was yielding a firearm. The man was Osama Bin Laden. He murdered that child so people would fear him. I gave the Spirit my life so he was handed in. I was hanged in the corner of my room, with a black string, and nothing human did this. I was put in a body bag and taken inside an ambulance, where they closed the doors, started the engine I believe, and I was "brought back". A fed was there to make sure things went smooth. Following that, Navy personnel were in the house, including SEALs and a CIA agent. Special Forces were in the yard and neighboring yards of course with no guns. One man lost his life tampering with the basement doorknob one night. Special Forces Mykel Hawke followed his orders of stopping anyone from getting through the basement door. I was taken to Pakistan later, with a man who was of mideastern decent and selected by the Spirit. I was posessed in a womans residence and the Spirit spoke with a man about Bin Laden. I believe he was with the military or police in Pakistan. The Special Forces commander also came to my families residence over Saddam Hussein, who was also handed in for genocide. The Spirit drew pictures of many people, including Bin Laden and Saddam. The Special Forces commander was told to arrest him for trial of genocide. The Spirit told his crime, genocide. A moonshiner, Marvin Sutton, was handed in to the ATF. I was hanged 3 times for those people to be handed in, Bin Laden, Saddam, and Sutton. I was also shown a scenario in a gas station where a woman was going to be shot and killed. I gave my soul to the Spirit to save her life. A knife was rammed in my neck, and taken out and I bled to death in my bed. Many other people gave their lives to this Holy Spirit to save a life or lives. A drawing of the World Trade Centers was drawn by the Spirit, with the knowledge that they would fall. Again this was in the early 1980's. Myself and another guy named Chad took leaking heart valves as impairments to speak with the Spirit about the upcoming tragedy. A fed, with some others, tried to have the buildings condemned by the city building inspector. It was the only way to prevent the huge loss of life. These memories, along with the recent employment events have made my sobriety extremely difficult as people could care less if someone can recover from a situation like mine and have a life. People don't care. Its dog eat dog, kick the ex heroin addict to the side and let him be someone elses problem. That's all I've gotten in recovery. The works of the Spirit that transpired as a kid makes it extremely difficult, as many many lives were saved and a notorious terrorist was handed to SEAL team six to kill. Society is truely dog eat dog. People could care less about anything positive you did. As long as the ex junkie is out of the way and on the verge of possible homlessness there's no regard for the positives of that person it seems. That's my story of recovery from 2006 to 12/6/2013. I hope other people have had better experiences. As of now I'm sorry those Spirit works ever happened as no one cares if I have any sort of life other than rotting away. I cared about many lives as a child, and can't even get hired anywhere so I can try and have some needed things and a decent life. I wished I could take back the cracked skull and the Spirit works, and then I would feel comfortable with my spot in life which is WITHOUT things a 35 year old man needs, and nobody cares if I can obtain them. No luck on jobs, etc. so I can try and start some sort of life has occurred. Nobody cares either. I just get kicked on from employers so I can be someone elses problem. To this day I'm sorry I cared about peoples lives as a kid, and sorry I ever cracked my skull for Holy Spirit works as I see how I've been done by society. I honestly wish I could take the works back, except for SEAL team six killing Bin Laden for murdering a child. Society doesn't deserve good things like the Spirit works, especially employers in society. I may pay for that attitude, but trust me folks could care less if this recovered heroin addict ever has needed things in life meaning job, car, work, so on and so on. Feels like I've been set out with the trash and heading for the dump, not to any recycle place. I hope everyone elses recovery has gone well, mine has been hellish, I'm sure due to my hep. c and needle history. Make you suffer is the way of the world, not let you get fixed up. I found that out.

[MajestyJo]

Thank you so much for sharing. You reminded me of what my sponsor use to say to me, "Life doesn't change, you do. You are better equipped to handle life's issues."

My prayers are with you.

[BW1]

Hi Jw

Thank You for sharing with us and allowing us to get to know you

I am glad you found us. Here you will find love and tolerance.

I wish only the best for you.