Even More Recovery Readings and Meditations - August

[bluidkiti]

August 1

Step by Step

Today, caution against perverting "Take It Easy" into procrastination or neglect of the new responsibilities that sobriety requires. "Take It Easy" instead means we tend to my our spiritual and emotional care lest we be unqualified to help someone else with their own. Adversely, "Take It Easy" does not bestow "permission" to put off or ignore responsibilities to ourselves, others and the 12th step marching order to carry the message to the alcoholic who still suffers. The program shows us how to balance the scale between taking it easy and procrastination, and if it's weighted down by taking it easy at the expense of responsibility to ourselves and others, we become as irresponsible dry drunks. Today, seek the balance between taking it easy all the time and giving all our time to everything and everyone else. And our common journey continues. Step by step. - Chris M.

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~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~

GROWTH

Growth itself contains the germ of happiness.

~ Pearl S. Buck ~

When we're out of sorts with everyone and everything and we realize that we're the one who needs to change, that's growth.

When we mind our own business and don t take the inventory of another, that's growth.

When we don't expect anyone to change their opinion simply because it differs from ours, that's growth.

When we think we're right at one moment and are proven wrong the next, and are happy about it because we've learned something, that's growth.

When we are as happy about another's progress as we are about our own, that's growth.

When we welcome each new day instead of dreading it, that's growth.

I used to seek happiness in material things and overdependence on other people. Now growth, itself is happiness.

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~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~

Hope has nothing to do with optimism. Its opposite is not pessimism but despair.

~ William Sloane Coffin ~

Despair is the loss of all hope. We are all vulnerable to slipping into that frame of mind at times. When our troubles are at their worst, we may indulge in angry and rebellious negative thinking. Such negative thinking is basically self-centered and self-indulgent. At other times we may feel that our lives are going well and we have no good reason to despair, yet we lose our spirit and vitality.

We can use our spiritual focus at these times to interrupt the negative thoughts. When we catch ourselves thinking life is unfair and we are worthless, we can stop following our thoughts down that track. Simply turning our attention elsewhere can help us restore our spirit for life. This doesn’t mean we fake optimism. It means we choose to suspend our doubts and, just as we might try on a new shirt, we try on the thought that we are in the care of a Higher Power who accepts us as we are. When we do that, a feeling of peace and calm will follow.

Today I will suspend feelings of despair and rest in the faith that a Higher Power is present in my life.

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~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~

Let us not become involved in terminal seriousness.

~ Julie Riebe ~

Developing a healthy and balanced perspective is one of the gifts of this program. However, we have to work at it. It doesn’t happen by simply laying the alcohol or other drugs aside. We need the help of caring sponsors who say “So what!” when we get on the pity pot. We also need the help of our Higher Power.

We soon discover that the more involved we get with the Steps of this program and the more we let God take an active role in our lives, the easier all situations become. We also discover that letting God play a part doesn’t mean that we no longer have a responsible part to play; instead, it means that we no longer are trying to take full responsibility for the outcome of every experience that engages us. Gaining this healthy perspective on our lives is a profound blessing. Were it not for this program and all the help we are receiving, we’d still be manufacturing mountains from every molehill, or molehills from every mountain.

I will utilize the program and my Higher Power today to keep situations in their proper perspective.

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~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~

I acknowledge the benefits of treatment

When I was in treatment, I felt scared and ashamed at first. I didn't know anyone. I didn’t trust anyone. I didn't know what would happen. I was angry and exhausted.

But it became clear that treatment was a good place to be with my dual disorder after all. Eventually I felt more relaxed, safer, understood. I acknowledged that I needed to be there (for months I'd just kept relapsing). While it wasn't easy adjusting to new faces, new routines, and new ideas, I was tired of suffering. Eventually I let go of my fears and found the relief and the freedom of recovery.

I will continue to pray the Serenity Prayer and pray to be open to change.

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~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~

I to myself am dearer than a friend.

~ William Shakespeare ~

We can’t put off telling ourselves about our goodness. It’s tempting to believe we can reward ourselves only when we accomplish something remarkable. But it is remarkable to be recovering. It takes honesty and courage to work these Twelve Steps. We’ve been in battle, we’ve suffered. Now, having been there, we’ve learned about tolerance, forgiveness, serenity, faith, and gratitude.

We are scarred, yes, but they are scars of triumph, scars of survival. There’s a level of humanity and wisdom that suffering has revealed to us. It has made us deeper, more well-rounded individuals. Having nearly lost our lives, we are more careful to increase our blessings. We don’t take our physical, mental, or spiritual health for granted any more. We actively work toward harmony and balance.

We’ve been given a rare gift — the chance to witness and partake in the change from sickness to health, from pain to healing, from sadness to joy, from emptiness to serenity.

Today let me compliment myself on the fine person I’m becoming and always was.

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~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~

Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all.

~ Step Eight ~

A prayer is a humble and heartfelt communication with a power greater than yourself. A prayer can admit a weakness, communicate a need, or convey praise and gratitude. Prayers can unburden your heart, give you strength and courage, and deepen your faith and trust in a Higher Power. Use the following prayer as you work on your Understanding and acceptance of Step Eight.

Step Eight Prayer Higher Power, I pray for your guidance. You have helped me to recognize and remove my defects of character. I come before you ready to take on the challenge presented by Step Eight. I need your strength to guide me as I make a list of all I have harmed. I will take responsibility for the errors of my ways. I will do everything I can to face up to those I have harmed and to confess my sins against them. I seek your forgiveness for not living a life of love.

Higher Power, I ask for your strength so I may look into the eyes of those I have harmed and find the courage to speak with honesty and regret. I ask for your strength so I may listen to whatever is said to me without anger or defensiveness. Higher Power, thank you for listening to my prayer.

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~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~

. . . each cycle of the tide is valid; each cycle of the wave is valid; each cycle of a relationship is valid.

~ Anne Morrow Lindbergh ~

Any photograph will show us a moment frozen in time. Forever after, anyone who views that picture will see that moment as it was.

Many things in our lives have cycles. Nothing ever stays the same from one minute to the next. We may not like change in our relationships, for we may expect that any variation from our happy moments will mean pain or loss or rejection. Even in a relationship's dark moments of anger and pain, we may fear changes that can bring happiness, hope, and success.

Yet change is a valid measurement of growth and time. It has as natural a rhythm as the ebb and flow of the ocean, the change of the seasons, the waxing and waning of the moon, the rise and set of the sun. Tonight, we can be assured that our relationships are right where they need to be in their natural places.

Tonight help me experience the natural rhythms in my relationships without fear.

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~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~

Following the leader

Whether in the program, church, or any other organization, any mortal leader we may have is but an instrument. Should any of these leaders die, our true leader remains (as always).

If we allow the absence of any person to turn us away from our Higher Power, we don’t know who our real leader is. If we allow the absence of any person to halt our spiritual progress or prevent us from doing what we know is right, we are not following our true leader, our Higher Power. All others are but temporary instruments.

Am I following my true leader faithfully?

Higher Power, help me recognize and acknowledge my true leader.

I will share my faith in my Higher Power today by

God help me to stay clean and sober today!

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~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~

The truth cannot always be told openly, but somehow it does come out.

~ SIGMUND FREUD ~

Newcomer

Some days I don't feel as if I can share how difficult my problems are. I've been in recovery long enough to know that what's bothering me will eventually subside. I've heard "This, too, sha1l pass" often enough. Why complain about problems that are going to go away anyway? Why bother anyone?

Sponsor

The slogan "This, too, shall pass" is meant to give comfort, not to make stoics and martyrs of us. There's nothing wrong with letting others see what's going on with us and airing our feelings, whatever they happen to be. In fact, it's necessary for recovery.

My addictive behavior in the past was often triggered by a belief that my needs and feelings were somehow excessive, that no one would tolerate hearing about them. When feelings of unworthiness and shame kept me from speaking, the result was more of the same: low self-esteem and a sense of separation and difference from others.

We're not required to share everything that's going on in our lives whenever we put a hand up at a meeting. But we need to make sure that we don't carry things all by ourselves. We have plenty of options. Sharing at meetings is a good one. Others include making program calls, sitting down for coffee with a recovering friend, or scheduling a therapy or counseling session. And then there's talking regularly with a sponsor. It's an excellent way to begin letting go of the old habit of keeping quiet.

Today, I lighten my load by sharing with others.

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~ THE EYE OPENER ~

It has been observed by many in AA that the surest bet to get our Program is the man who needs it most desperately. His very desperation lends strength to his efforts. He has been backed up to a wall and he must fight his way out of his dilemma or else he must die. There is no alternative.

Only the coward quits in despair, and the alcoholic can't be a coward, for if he was, he would have quit the unequal game long before his alcoholism was fully developed.

Yes, it takes a brave man to fight his way to the gutter and it takes a brave and desperate man to fight his way out.

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~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~

Count Your Blessings

Count your many blessings, name them one by one;
Count your many blessings, see what God has done!

~ From "Count Your Blessings" by Johnson Oatman Jr. ~

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~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~

RAISED CONSCIOUSNESS

THE FIRST COMMANDMENT

I am the Lord thy God, which have brought thee out of the land of Egypt, out of the house of bondage.

Thou shalt have no other gods before me (Exodus 20:2, 3).

Moses lived in Egypt over three thousand years ago, and he led some six hundred thousand people out of Egypt and through the wilderness. That is historical. But, Moses also stands for a faculty in yourself, and the things that Moses did typify your states of mind.

The mountain means prayer—the elevated consciousness. We are told that the general public were not allowed to go up Mount Sinai, but that does not mean that certain people were not good enough to go up. It means that if we want to go up the mountain—if we want to raise our consciousness, if we want to get closer to God—we must prepare ourselves by prayer. If we want to go up the mountain, we have to become a high priest spiritually and we must rid ourselves of our faults and weaknesses—otherwise we cannot elevate our consciousness and get our contact with God.

Moses had his revelation, and then he realized it as the experience that God and man are one. When he got that revelation, Moses brought back the laws of life, beginning with the First Commandment, as we call it.

What is the beginning of the First Commandment? I am the Lord thy God. Our trouble in our religious life nearly always is that we think, "In the beginning Me." That is very human but it does not get us the revelation that Moses got. After affirming I am the Lord thy God . . . the First Commandment says thou shalt have no other gods before me.

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~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~

The Most Powerful Prayer

When you pray, think. Think well what you’re saying and make your thoughts into things that are solid. In that way, your prayers will have strength, and that strength will become a part of you in body, mind, and spirit.

~ Walter Pidgeon's character in the film How Green Was My Valley ~

An angel attempting to earn his wings was given the mission of finding the person on earth whose prayers had the most power to reach heaven. He journeyed for a long time and then returned with this report: "l circled the entire world and found many people reciting rote prayers without feeling or conviction. Many prayed so that others would see them, and some prayed to be victorious over others. I heard many prayers, but felt little heart. Just when I was about to give up I heard the tears of a little boy in a poor section of a big city. He was reciting, “A...B...C..." and on through the alphabet. When I listened closer, I heard him pray, "Dear God, I do not know how to read, and I cannot recite from the prayer book, but I love you with all my heart. Take these letters and form them into words that are pleasing to you." The angel was given his wings.

It is not the form of our words or acts that brings us closer to heaven, but the sincerity of our intentions. Bring a pure heart to your prayers and deeds, and you will succeed.

Open my heart to true caring and pure love. Let my words and deeds be motivated by sincerity and kindness.

[bluidkiti]

August 2

Step by Step

" ...I had my first drink and I still remember it, for every 'first' drink afterwards did exactly the same trick - I could feel it go right through every bit of my body ...But each drink after the 'first' seemed to become less effective and, after three or four, they all seemed like water. ...(T)he more I drank, the quieter I got, and the drunker I got, the harder I fought to stay sober. ...Even that first night I blacked out, which leads me to believe that I was an alcoholic from my very first drink." - Alcoholics Anonymous, 3rd Edition, 1976, "Personal Stories," Ch 6 ("The Vicious Cycle"), p 241.

Today, grant that I always remember my last drink if I cannot remember my first - for it is the last one that brought me to my knees and set me on my search for something better. Even if I cannot remember the first drink or whether I became alcoholic with my first or 1,000th one, I cannot forget that I was in alcoholism with my last drink. And if I can't remember my last drunk, I might not have had it. Thus, the reason for AA . Regardless of how recently or long ago my last drink was, AA is here to strengthen and guide me from the next drink. Today, I am only as good as the guy whose last drink was yesterday even if mine was a thousand yesterdays ago and, today, I will remember my last drink. And our common journey continues. Step by step. - Chris M.

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~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~

SELF-CONFIDENCE

Every day, in every way, I am getting better and better.

~ Emile Coue ~

If our Program were made up of men and women who kept telling others, and themselves, "I'm no good, I'll never make it," the Program itself could never survive. We win only when we have confidence in our own capabilities and limitations. We sincerely believe that, with a shared feeling of love among members who have a common goal, success is not only possible, but guaranteed.

Years ago, people around the world made fun of the phrase about getting better and better. Despite all the belittlement, that expression of confidence helped many to a more healthful life. It still works. We know that if we do not have faith in our- selves, no one else will. We can always choose to "be our own best friend" rather than "our own worst enemy."

I've heard it said, "we are what we are." Self-confidence in my ability to make spiritual growth can achieve wonders. I am getting better and better.

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~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~

I’ve always wanted to be somebody, but I see now I should have been more specific.

~ Lily Tomlin ~

We are on an adult development journey. As we grow healthier, as we take our personal inventories, we develop into the kind of person we can respect and feel good about. From our addictive and codependent times, we know what it was like to feel empty—as if we were nobody. We had an exterior appearance of a whole person, but we were underdeveloped on the inside.

The promises of recovery always come true when we follow the steps toward honesty with ourselves and take responsibility for our actions. We may be assaulted by chaos and craziness around us, but this inner sense of self can never be taken away. And the longer we live in the light of the Twelve Steps and actively follow them, the more we develop this strong sense of self.

Today I will stay on the path because it glides me toward greater development of my self.

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~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~

God can work quicker in our lives if God doesn’t have to seek out our hiding place.

~ Jan Pishok ~

What do we gain from wallowing in doubt and hiding from God? Certainly not peace or security. But the pain is familiar. We often hang on to that which we know, regardless of its impact.

In the past, many of us had an attitude, and we nurtured a chip on our shoulder. What a relief to be free of that childish burden! Hiding from God means missing the real gifts of sobriety. Putting alcohol or other drugs aside, but not grasping the hand of God as it comes to us from our friends here, means the torment that triggered our drinking continues to follow close on our heels.

We are learning from our sisters sharing this journey that there’s a far less traumatic way to live. Our assignment is simply to turn to God every day, letting our will and lives be thus guided.

I won’t hide today. I’ll seek God in all my communications with others, and I’ll cherish the peace.

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~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~

I want to trust people more

My therapist wants me to join a support group. He wants me to work on trust. But it's hard for me to trust other people (even my therapist). I feel safer when I rely on myself (although that hasn't always worked). I am afraid to trust because I'm afraid I'll get hurt, betrayed, or abandoned like so many times before. How could I ever take part in a group?

And yet maybe now is a good time to take a chance. I am exhausted from trying to handle my emotional and chemical health problems on my own for so long. And deep down, there is loneliness, there is a part of me that truly wants to be around people more. With the support of my therapist, I will give group therapy a chance.

Today I will practice trusting by taking a small risk with a safe person.

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~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~

I don’t blame my parents. This stuff has been handed down for generations.

~ Seth P. ~

Sometimes, when we begin to get better, we feel anger and frustration with other family members who are not in recovery. We’re often quick to tell them they’d better “get with the program” and start recovering soon.

More often than not, our words fall on deaf ears. It’s one thing to tell someone about the help and resources that are available. It’s another to expect them to instantly understand and seek help for themselves.
Most of us come from families that have struggled with alcoholism or other addictions for generations. It’s no one’s fault. It’s a source of pride, though, that we can be part of the solution, and help break the cycle of intergenerational pain.

With help from our Higher Power, we can let go of unrealistic expectations. We can let our loved ones find recovery at their own pace, in their own time.

We like to carry the message of recovery to others. But it is a message of hope, not a message of blame.

Today I’m grateful to be in recovery, and not trapped in the pattern of addiction or other sickness or pain. I feel a new freedom today.

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~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~

Those who flee temptation generally leave a forwarding address.

~ Lane Olinghouse ~

You may recall the fable about the wind and the sun, and how they argued about who was stronger. One day they saw a man clad in an overcoat walking down a path. The wind bragged it was so strong it could remove the man’s coat. So it blew powerful gusts, but the man clutched his coat tighter. Then the sun had its turn. It began to beam its rays down on the man. The man grew warm in the sun’s heat and removed his overcoat.

One can easily believe the sun is the winner. Yet there is another way to look at this story. When you see it as one that symbolizes the power to resist temptation, both the wind and the sun become temptation. One surrounds the man with frightening energy; the other merely lets its presence be known.

Before you came into the program, your habit was like the sun—it did nothing more than offer itself to you, and you succumbed to its power. But in recovery, temptation is like the strong wind. It will always be swirling about you, striving to force you to yield to its power. Even though the winds of temptation will continually challenge you, take heart. You are much stronger than you think.

I will resist temptation today because I am strong. I am more powerful than any temptation.

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~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~

Worry is a thin stream of fear trickling through the mind. If encouraged, it cuts a channel into which all other thoughts are drained.

~ Arthur Somers Roche ~

A trickle of water that drains down the side of a hill poses no problem to the hill, its vegetation, or the people living in the valley. But if that trickle grows into a stream, the water will erode a path, carrying along plants, rocks, and soil, endangering the lives and property of the people in the valley.

When a worry nags us, it is like that trickle. It poses little threat to us and can be stopped at any time because it is so small. But if we let more worrisome thoughts feed into the stream, we will allow it to grow until all of our thoughts and energy are focused on one worry that has attained great power.

We all have things we worry about. But we don't have to give these worries more than passing acknowledgment. The trickles that run through our minds are okay to have. But to keep them at that size, we need to remember what is important to us at this very moment. We don't need to let the worries grow.

I have worries just like everyone else. However, I don't have to dwell upon my worries or make them any bigger than what they are.

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~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~

Developing spiritually

We read in the Big Book that no human power could have relieved our addiction— not ourselves, our spouse, the law, clergy, counselors, or friends. Through trial and error and many failures, we come to know that another human being is not the way. To recover, we need a spiritual program based on a power greater than ourselves.

To recover, we need a spiritual life, as developed by the fellowship and the Twelve Steps.

Am I growing spiritually?

Higher Power, help me to see the importance of developing a spiritual life.

I will work on my spiritual program today by

God help me to stay clean and sober today!

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~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~

As one goes through life one learns that if you don't paddle your own canoe, you don't move.

~ KATHARINE HEPBURN ~

Newcomer

I appreciate the fact that you remain friendly and even-tempered even though I don't always follow your advice.

Sponsor

Friends can disagree without having to end their relationship. I might have trouble sponsoring someone who never attends meetings, someone who has frequent relapses, or someone who complains about his or her problems without ever being willing to attempt the Steps. But occasional disagreements are a part of life.

A sponsor's suggestions aren't commands, any more than the Twelve Steps are. As a sponsor, I only make suggestions; even though they're based on my experience, I'm not always right about what will work for another person. And I may misjudge what another person's timetable is. I'm not infallible. I try not to let my ego get in the way, to feel hurt or angry when you need to try something on your own. Learning to make your own decisions is necessary to growth.

Each of us makes his or her own way through the process of recovery. We learn more from our own experiences, good and bad, than from anything we read in a book or hear at a meeting.

Today, I learn from my experience.

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~ THE EYE OPENER ~

The very basis of AA is kindness to the suffering alcoholic, but the question often arises as to what is the kind thing to do. Sometimes we have to do things that might be considered cruel in order to be kind.

There are occasions when it is an act of kindness to have a man locked up if he is apt to hurt himself or others. Sometimes drastic steps have to be taken to prevent a man from driving his car when he is drunk. Occasionally it might be the best thing for a. man if his boss should fire him or if his family left him.

We are frequently called upon for this kind of advice. Who are we to decide such issues? God has the answer and it is best to turn the query over to Him.

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~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~

I Am Thankful For . . .

God, I am thankful for the people to whom I can relate in all situations.
I am grateful for all of them—
For those called "family" who provide community,
For those called "sponsors" who give guidance,
For those called "enemies" who help me see my faults,
For those called "colleagues" who share responsibility,
For those called "teachers" who instruct me,
For those called "helpers" who enable me to seek help,
For those called "comforters" who dry my tears, unafraid of my weeping.

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~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~

POCKET GODS AND GRAVEN IMAGES

THE SECOND COMMANDMENT

Read Exodus 20:4-6.

Thou shalt not take unto thee any graven image . . . (Exodus 20:4).

A primitive people needed to be thus instructed because they were much given to making idols of a palpable sort. We do not do these things, but whenever we give power to anything but God, we are making that thing into a graven image. For example, we give power to our ailments, particularly if it is a favorite ailment. We all know people who say, "My rheumatism," and they say it quite lovingly. Been with them a long time! Has become a conversation piece! Others say, "My indigestion." We are making a graven image of these things. It is only when we take power away from them that we can heal them.

If you forget God and worship graven images of any kind, you are going to suffer. You can demolish a stone statue; you can burn a wooden one. The way to destroy mental images is to stop thinking of them and giving them power.

This commandment goes on to say, "For I the Lord thy God am a jealous God." Moses does not mean that God is jealous like a man, but that God must have first place. The trouble with many pious people is that they want God to be vice president, keeping the presidency for themselves. So the Bible uses the word "jealous" in the sense that if you give power to anything but God, you have lost God altogether. You cannot have a percentage of God. Either God is the only power, or nothing at all.

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~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~

Pass the Cream Cheese

I am content to be wherever He wishes, knowing He goes there with me.

~ A Course in Miracles ~

When I began public speaking, I was invited to address a B'nai B'rith men's group, which met at a Jewish temple for a lecture, discussion, and buffet breakfast on a Sunday morning. As I began my talk, I was disappointed to see that the group was inattentive and seemed uninterested in my presentation. Some of the men smoked cigars as I spoke, others picked through their wallets, and during the guided meditation, several opened their eyes and scanned the bagel-and-cream cheese buffet. When I was finished, I was sorry I had come; it seemed that I had chosen the wrong crowd for my subject matter, and I felt as if my time had been wasted.

The following week, I received several telephone calls from organizations to which members of the B'nai B'rith group had recommended me. These callers wanted me to serve as a guest speaker and teach ongoing classes. Apparently a number of people in that group were impressed with my presentation and wanted to share it with their other affiliations.

We never really know what the effects of our service will be. Sometimes it appears that nothing is happening, or no good is coming, when behind the scenes, important changes are occurring, and progress is being made. This is why we must never judge the results of our service on surface appearances. Imagine that any good that you do, or intend to do, is being received by the right people at the right level for the right purpose.

Give me the faith to remember that Your hand is moving my life.

I act with confidence, knowing that Spirit is working through me for the benefit of all.

[bluidkiti]

August 3

Step by Step

Today, I'm fed up - filled to the rim with those self-destructive, self-absorbed character defects like anger, self-pity and anxiety about what's been said and done, and what's ahead. And, today, I'm sick of carrying the garbage, the excess baggage that I acquired in my drinking days and may still be toting even without the booze. I want what AA promises - if I work for it. That means, finally, getting out from under the ponderous weight of that chip on my shoulder, and letting go means letting God and working the program so as not to take that weight back. Even if in sobriety I can rationalize or justify whatever resentment and any other ill feeling I harbor for someone or something, it has no role in recovery and, in fact, can derail it like a super-train jumping its track at 200 mph. The predictable outcome? Total self-destruction. I didn't come this far this long to fall apart or implode because of whatever self-destructive trap I have set. Today, I want to feel free of anger, self-pity, worry and resentment and, today, I'm fed up enough to get with the program. And our common journey continues. Step by step. - Chris M.

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~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~

CARETAKING

Don't care FOR, care ABOUT.

~ Anonymous ~

When we care for someone, we are letting that person be the focus of our lives. We take over the decisions and responsibilities for that person. We can bond with someone a lot better than with their needs. When we care about someone, we are concerned about their journey. We nurture, encourage, and support them on their way.

Many of us have to learn to give up playing the role of caretaker with people. We have been a one-person Humane Society, moving from place to place, picking up stray dogs and cats. We are told that caretaking is an improper response to our need to be accepted.

Whatever the reason we play the role, it is not helpful to continue in-recovery. We need to let people care for their own needs. Everyone should have the opportunity to love themselves.

I learn that caring FOR someone will probably cause the relationship to fail. Caring ABOUT them will I allow the relationship and the person to succeed.

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~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~

When the heart weeps because it has lost, the spirit laughs because it has found.

~ Sufi mystic ~

We must mourn our losses, and for some of us they are many. Whether we lost a loved one, or a marriage, or a job, mourning is a necessary. Mourning is how we acknowledge that what we lost was dear to us and we know it will change us. At the same time, we all know that good things can come from events we never would have chosen. Life does go on and we can grow from our difficulties.

Our clearest example of that is seeing the good that can come from hitting bottom. After our addiction and codependency made us lose all that we could stand to lose, we surrendered to a spiritual program of recovery. Not everyone has to lose so much to gain a vibrant spiritual life. We didn’t choose our losses. But for many of us, only after our losses mounted high enough were we opened up to grow spiritually.

Today my spirit laughs because I am alive.

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~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~

Life does not accommodate you, it shatters you. . . . Every seed destroys its container or else there would be no fruition.

~ Florida Scott-Maxwell ~

We resist change because it shatters our self-perceptions. But if we don’t change, our journey’s purpose is stunted. As we look back, we can see that change is a constant among our experiences. But we often resist it until the pain is more than we can bear.

It’s curious that we’d expect our lives to stay the Mime despite what we see: movement, new growth, change. Year by year we note the deeper lines and the lesser energy in our parents, our siblings, our-selves. The trees shed their leaves, the sidewalk cracks widen, the neighbors die. Change happens. Our purpose will be fulfilled.

Being grateful for change comes only with willingness and the trust that we deserve growth and opportunity. What’s in store for each of us is far greater than what we can imagine for ourselves.

I might not like everything that happens today, but each experience will offer me an opportunity to change.

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~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~

I am reclaiming my life

My life has been out of control for a long time now due to chemical and mental health problems. First the addiction seemed in control, then the psychiatric illness. Together, the two proved more than I could handle on my own.

After struggling to get abstinent and then get stable on medication, and after several months in both a Twelve Step group and a support group, I am beginning to reclaim my life. As I take responsibility for my illnesses, I am finding out where I was and exploring where I want to go. Each day I do the best I can. I am recovering.

Today I will draw a picture or write about the way I want my future to look.

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~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~

Let me be a little kinder,
Let me be a little blinder
To the faults of those around me
Let me praise a little more.

~ Edgar Guest ~

Sometimes we find it easy to be critical of others. In our fellowship this is known as taking inventory, making comparisons between others and ourselves. It is often a defensive posture bom of low self-esteem. Not only does it waste sober time and energy, but creates resentment and grandiosity in us, and that hurts our recovery. When we are foolish enough to criticize another’s choice, we are setting ourselves up for trouble.

When we pray for the strength to praise rather than criticize, we find that praise is its own reward. We feel better, more optimistic about ourselves and our world. When we pay attention to ourselves and let others do the same, life’s burden lifts, our spirit flowers and opens so our Higher Power can work with us. We are lucky that our only life is our own. We had so much trouble handling life before recovery; one is enough for us now. And now we can make that life a rich one.

Today let me live my own life and allow others their rightful space to live theirs.

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~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~

God grant me the serenity to accept the people I cannot change, the courage to change the one I can, and the wisdom to know it’s me.

~ Author unknown ~

This variation of “The Serenity Prayer,” originally penned by Reinhold Niebuhr, serves as a reminder that recovery does not begin—or end—simply when you stop using. While this is certainly the most vital change you need to make, what is of equal importance is changing yourself. Ask yourself, “Who am I without my habit? What talents and abilities have I suppressed or not realized? What can I achieve when I give myself the opportunity?”

If you take away your habit but stay the same person you were when you were using, you run the risk of losing your commitment to recovery. As it is sometimes said in AA, “Nothing changes if nothing changes.”

Changing yourself works best when you break it down into a series of small changes. Did you lie a lot when you were using? If so, you can learn to be more truthful. Did you feel more tempted to use when you were tired or stressed? If so, then you need to make changes in your life that will add more time for relaxation and rest.

Recovery represents a time in which I become more aware of who I am so I can change for the better.

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~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~

What must I do is all that concerns me—not what people think. It is easy in the world to live after the world's opinion; it is easy in solitude to live after our own—but the great man is he who in the midst of the crowd keeps with perfect sweetness the independence of solitude.

~ Ralph Waldo Emerson ~

Many times we are like chameleons, changing colors to please others. We may hide our true feelings and pretend to be happy and content, not wanting to hurt someone close.

Chameleons survive because they are adept at hiding from predators. We may feel we are living well when we hide our true feelings. Yet who is seeing the real side of us? Aren't we ignoring our needs and making someone else's more important?

Today we may have changed colors to please others. But we don't have to be chameleons. There are no predators out there—only people, just like us. Their thoughts and feelings may be different from ours, but that's okay. We all have our own brilliant colors to show.

I have beautiful colors to show off. Tonight, I'll remind myself that I do not need to hide.

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~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~

Preserving and affirming our lives

Some people seem to have no problems using mood-altering drugs, but for us, they are highly destructive. When we used drugs, we lost our lives—physically and spiritually—and barely regained them through the Twelve Step program.

We who have abused mood-altering chemicals, we who are chemically dependent, must never use them again—or we risk relapse to full-blown addiction. Our path is one of total abstinence through the program.

Am I preserving and affirming my life?

Higher Power, help me to preserve my life by staying clean and sober.

I will affirm my life and practice my program today by

God help me to stay clean and sober today!

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~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~

I wish I hadn't done a lot of things, but on the other hand, if I hadn't, I wouldn't be here.

~ MADONNA ~

Newcomer

I know we're not supposed to have regrets any more, but I have them. Sometimes I'm afraid that I've been damaged beyond repair.

Sponsor

We have a longing for wholeness and the capacity to achieve it. Human beings aren't like pieces of machinery that are too broken or rusty to be of use. Our tissues regenerate in seemingly miraculous ways. Our minds and spirits are also capable of regeneration and renewal. Every day of our lives, we have opportunities to begin or further the process of healing.

When we're overcome with regret, the work we do in Steps Eight and Nine, acknowledging those we've harmed and attempting to make amends to them, is especially helpful. We don't just bury the past and try to forget it. We look at it honestly and without self-pity; we make whatever repairs are actually possible. We go through the process of grieving our losses. We integrate our past experiences into a larger, more compassionate understanding of ourselves—one that includes the protection and loving presence of the Spirit within us.

Our past experience equips us to be especially helpful to others who suffer. There is a use for everything that has ever happened to us.

Today, I put my past to use as I reach out to others who suffer.

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~ THE EYE OPENER ~

The educated person knows things but the wise man knows people. It is not possible to know life without knowing the individuals that make up the world.

A man is not a thing—he's a combination of certain good and bad traits that make him distinctive among his fellow men. Each one is an influence for good or evil, whether we realize it or not. When we rub elbows with our associates, we exchange some of our characteristics with them. Watch, therefore, your companions, for if they are unclean they are sure to soil your clothes.

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~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~

Put Courage into My Heart

Lord, put courage into my heart, and take away what blocks mc from Your will
Free my speech so I may pass on Your goodness, so all will understand me.
Give me friends to advise and help me, that our efforts together may help others.
And, above all, let me constantly remember that my actions are useless if not guided by Your wisdom.

~ by Muhammad, founder of Islam ~

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~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~

THOUGHTS ARE THINGS

THE THIRD COMMANDMENT

Thou shalt not take the name of the Lord thy God in vain; for the Lord will not hold him guiltless that that taketh his name in vain ( Exodus 20 : 7 ).

Now this law of life really means you cannot take the name of the Lord in vain. If you try to do so you will fail because when you take the name of God unto yourself and implement it, then consequences will follow. It is a pity more of us do not realize that fact because constantly we are trying to take the name of the Lord in vain. The name of God is your conviction concerning God. Your idea of God will determine your whole life. If you believe that God is good, God is love, God has all power, God is intelligence, all the conditions of your life will steadily improve. If you believe God is intelligent but not good—I know people would not dare to say that, but people who think that God sends sickness and trouble really believe in a God who is not good—if you believe in a God who has all intelligence, but is not loving, then your idea of the nature of God must work out. Troubles will come to you, and you will not overcome them because you are saying, "God sent this trouble for a good purpose, and I must put up with it." You will put up with it. Your idea of God cannot be in vain. It will work out for you in accordance with your belief.

There is no one of us who is not limiting God in some respect in his thought and because of that we are going to suffer limitation in some way, for we cannot take the name of God in vain.

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~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~

Build Your World

Make it a practice to judge persons and things in the most favourable light at all times, in all circumstances.

~ Saint Vincent de Paul ~

A religious man learned that a prostitute was doing business in his neighborhood. He found her house, stood across the street, and watched men enter and leave her home. Every time he saw a customer walk out, he placed a stone in a little pile, symbolizing the weight and extent of her sins. Years later, the prostitute died, and soon afterward so did the man. When the man was shown to his heavenly abode, he was aghast to find but a heap of stones similar to the mound he had built to mark the prostitute's wrongdoing. On the other side of the gray pile, he saw a magnificent estate with rolling lawns and colorful gardens, where the prostitute strolled joyfully. "There must be some mistake!" he railed. "That woman was a prostitute, and I was a religious man."

"There is no mistake," a voice answered. "That prostitute hated her job, but it was the only way she knew to make money to support herself and her young daughter. Every time she was with a client, she inwardly prayed, 'Dear God, please get me out of this.' You, on the other hand, were fascinated only with her sins. While she was talking to God, you were talking to rocks. She got what she prayed for, and so did you."

Things are not what they appear to be. We never really know the motive or consciousness behind someone's actions. Any act can be a tool of the ego, or an avenue for the Holy Spirit. We inherit the world we build with our thoughts.

I pray to keep You in my mind today. Let me not wander into temptation to see less than love.

I build a world of beauty with my thoughts.

[bluidkiti]

August 4

Step by Step

" ...(S)ubconsciously I was in earnest about wanting to quit liquor forever. It was no momentary emotionalism born of self-pity in a maudlin condition. I was seeking something, and I was ready to learn. I did not need to be told that my efforts were and would be unavailing if I did not get help. ...(L)ittle by little, I learned how my need could be met. The story of Alcoholics Anonymous fascinated me." - Alcoholics Anonymous, 3rd Edition, 1976, "Personal Stories," Ch 7 ("The News Hawk"), p 258.

Today, how much more the cost to answer how willing I am to get sober, when enough is enough, when I can take no more, when self-loathing and self-disgust are more than enough to motivate me to take responsibility for both my addiction and recovery and get to work on both. If I've reached the proverbial bottom but, more practically, if I've hit the point when not even I believe my lies anymore, when I've had enough of needing more whiskey or any other drug every day just to achieve normalcy or when the "buzz" doesn't buzz anymore and when I have no other option but to believe that there is something better - my time has come. The Twelve Steps are there; all I need do is begin working them, Step by Step. How much more is my addiction going to cost me? Starting today, no more. And our common journey continues. Step by step. - Chris M.

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~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~

SERENITY

There is a gentle serenity in God's peace, there is a soothing tranquility in God's love.

~ Anonymous ~

The words "gentle" and "soothing" can quiet the most troubled heart. The notion of serenity and tranquility can create an inner peace that is wonderful. What good is it if a person owns the entire world and does not have serenity and tranquility? What have our hearts cried out for from the time we took our first breath if not for serenity and tranquility? When we speak of hopes and dreams. we are talking of finding them.

In Step Three we found them. Once we made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of a Higher Power, we render ourselves open to the gentle serenity of God's peace and the soothing tranquility of God's love.

The Serenity Prayer starts "God grant. . . ." Serenity is a gift that God grants. When I take my will out of the way in Step Three, then God can grant me serenity.

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~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~

The name of this infinite and inexhaustible depth and ground of all being is God. That depth is what the word God means. And if that word has not much meaning for you, translate it, and speak to the depths of your life, of the source of your being of your ultimate concern, of what you take seriously without any reservation.

~ Paul Tillich ~

In the words of the Twelve Steps, we are guided toward God, as we understand God. Many of us are at first turned off by the word God. Some of us received early spiritual guidance through childhood religious training, but others had none at all—and some of us had negative experiences with organized religion. Now we are guided to grow into an adult form of spirituality.

The words of today’s quotation come from a great theologian who understood the same wisdom that the founders of Alcoholics Anonymous did We don’t have to limit our understanding of God by confining, dogmatic definitions. Our spiritual life is grounded in a sense of awe and rises from the deepest part of our being.

Today my recovery is restored by God, who surpasses all understanding

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~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~

Retreat is not defeat!

~ Kay Lovatt ~

Sometimes the most productive thing we can do is back away from a situation that’s causing us pain. Every time we feel compelled to resolve a crisis, we can retreat, at least for a time. Giving our emotions a rest gives us a fresh perspective.

Trying to force another person to see a situation as we do seldom works, just as we can’t be convinced against our will that someone else is right. The history we carry colors our view. But we can learn from one another; that’s why we are sharing this journey.

Does it seem that we encourage conflicts? Is our security tied to having others validate our opinions? Perhaps turning to our Higher Power each time we anticipate conflict will relieve us of the need to express an opinion that’s not crucial to the moment.

I don’t have to resolve anything today. I can simply go along with how things are and trust that they will change, with God’s help.

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~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~

My past is no longer my present

Growing up, I was abandoned physically and emotionally—and felt lost. As an adult, I experience addiction and emotional illness—and have felt a victim. While I can't change my past, I need to understand it and accept it so I can deal better with my present.

In recovery I do this in two ways. First, I take part in the Twelve Step fellowship for dual recovery—a stable, nurturing, spiritual community. Second, I take part in therapy—a safe, educational, and healing community. With the help of these two programs, I am developing a new outlook: I am no longer a victim. I take care of myself—physically, emotionally, and spiritually—and I am taken care of.

I will meditate on how my past affects my present and how taking care of myself in the present can help me accept my past.

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~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~

Don’t compromise yourself; you are all you’ve got.

~ Betty Ford ~

We continue to learn through our recovery program that we feel better when we listen to our feelings. Even though we may be uncomfortable when we disagree with others, or refuse to go along with the crowd, we are much more peaceful when we don’t do something just because everybody else is doing it. We like the part of recovery that is teaching us to be honest with ourselves and others.

Feelings are like a road map to us. One writer said they are “our reaction to the world around us.” When we begin to understand our anger, guilt, anxiety, joy, hurt, and loss, we realize feelings are road markers we can use to grow in recovery. Although our feelings were dulled for years by alcohol and other substances, we have found it is never too late to listen to our feelings and learn from what they are teaching us. It is a new language for us; painful sometimes, but always true.

Today I pray to let others experience the real me, including my feelings.

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~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~

Those who think they have not time for bodily exercise will sooner or later have to find time for illness.

~ Edward Stanley ~

A good number of the world’s greatest athletes have experienced career-ending injuries. Some approached such injuries with a defeatist attitude. Because they could not engage in the sport they loved, they gave up completely on exercise. Others, however, used a positive attitude to rebound from their injuries so they could discover a different activity they could enjoy.

Finding an exercise you enjoy can be challenging as you get older. Injuries may present limitations. The stamina you once enjoyed in your youth can take away some of the ease with which you once played a sport. There may be other limitations as well. The busier your daily schedule is, the harder it can be to find time for regular exercise.

Just because you cannot engage in your favorite exercise does not mean you cannot or should not exercise at all. And using a busy schedule as an excuse for not exercising will end up working against your overall health in the long run. Removing an unhealthy habit begins a cleansing process that will make you feel better. But you need regular exercise to strengthen your body, tone your muscles, and build a foundation for a healthier future.

Today I will commit to being fit.

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~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~

The height of wisdom is to take things as they are . . . to endure what we cannot evade.

~ Montaigne ~

What are some of the things we dread? As children we probably dreaded school and occasions when we had to dress up. As students we most likely dreaded tests. As adults we may now dread job performance reviews or visits with our parents. We may have other dreads such as going to a dentist or doctor, purchasing a major appliance, or making changes.

Wisdom is the ability to acknowledge the dread and not run from it. It's okay to feel dread: wanting to postpone, feeling sick, having an anxiety attack, becoming dependent on another to help us out. As long as we don't succumb to those feelings—as powerful as they may be—we will endure the dreaded event.

Nothing lasts forever. Job reviews and dentist visits comprise only a portion of a day. If we can accept these dreaded events as inconveniences, we will have a more mature approach to them instead of magnifying them. The steps to overcoming dread are simple: accept, let go, and do it!

Are there events I dread tonight? I can remember the three steps to overcoming dread and work through my feelings.

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~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~

Being lucky

Some people think “luck” is the reason for success in their lives. But does luck really mean the suffering and pain that we’ve not hesitated to endure? The opportunities for growth that we’ve embraced? The kindness and humor that we’ve shown others? The thanks we’ve expressed to others for their kindness to us?

If success is “lucky,” then we make our own luck. Then luck means being open and available; luck means willingness plus grace.

Do I realize what a lucky person I am?

Higher Power, help me to be open and willing to receive your grace.

Today I will thank God for my “luck” by

God help me to stay clean and sober today!

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~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~

To gain that which is worth having, it may be necessary to lose everything else.

~ BERNADETTE DEVLIN ~

Newcomer

When I listen to people at Step meetings, the word “humility” always seems to come up, no matter which Step is being discussed. I still have resistance to that word.

Sponsor

Like many people in recovery I've experienced some resistance to each Step as I've come to it; by letting myself feel this resistance, then moving through it, I've learned some things about myself. I think that our objections to each Step add up to a portrait of our disease. Whether a particular Step addresses our relationship with a substance or a behavior with ourselves, with other people, or with a Higher Power it asks us to see ourselves as part of something larger than our own will. There has been arrogance and willfulness in our insistence on doing things our way, rejecting help, trying to stand alone in the universe, and feeling unlovable and unforgivable.

Humility is simply a recognition that we have limitations. Paradoxically, accepting our limitations gives us the freedom to become part of something limitless.

Today, I have the courage to let go of resistance.

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~ THE EYE OPENER ~

It is almost a general rule that no one achieves in life what they planned in their youth. The great ambitions of our teens never seem to materialize. In spite of all our plans, it is a safe bet to say, however, that we are where we were intended to be, doing the things that we were intended to do, whether we like it or not. Apparently we are not running the world.

It is very probable that we would have made a terrible mess of it had we followed our wishes and would have wound up a much bigger flop than we did. No matter what our station in life, we can daily thank God that it is no worse than it is.

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~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~

Honesty, Purity, Unselfishness, and Love

Dear God, may I breathe in the inspiration of goodness and truth.
Breathe in the spirit of honesty, purity, unselfishness, and love.
They are readily available to me, if I am willing to accept them wholeheartedly.
God, You have given me two things: Your Spirit and the power of choice.
To accept or not, as I have the gift of free will.

When I choose the path of selfishness, greed, and pride, I am refusing to accept Your Spirit.
When I choose the path of love and service, I accept Your Spirit, and then it flows into me and makes all things new.

~ Adapted from Twenty-Four Hours a Day, August 29 ~

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~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~

A TIME TO REST

THE FOURTH COMMANDMENT

Read Exodus 20:8-11.

Remember the sabbath day, and keep it holy (Exodus 20:8).

This commandment about the Sabbath Day was given to the people at the time of their leaving Egypt and going into the desert, and on the surface it meant what it said for that age. It was a wonderful thing in Moses' day to insist that everybody set aside one day a week to think about God or at least to oblige him to stop his secular activities. No rule can make a man religious, or give him faith, but it can help.

Like all the other commandments, this one is instruction in seeking the presence of God everywhere, particularly where the trouble seems to be. Where there is fear and doubt He brings faith, where there is lack He brings abundance.

But here in this commandment about the Sabbath Day there is a still deeper meaning. When you are praying every day and recognizing that God is working in you and in all your affairs, there will be a sense in which every day will be a Sabbath, because for you every day will be a holy day. One of the most wonderful things about the Bible teaching is that we get rid of the distinction between the sacred and the secular. That is one of the most important steps in the whole history of the soul.

God is present everywhere. For those who understand Jesus' teaching, it is always the Sabbath Day, and the place whereon they stand is holy ground.

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~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~

The Power of the Word

In the beginning was the word.

~ John 1:1 ~

A woman in relatively good health underwent dilation and curettage (D&C) surgery. After her operation, however, Sally was not recovering, and each day she sank deeper into the abyss. Medical professionals were at a loss, since all tests revealed she was physically healthy. Finally, someone suggested hypnosis. During her session, it was discovered that under surgery Sally had heard one of the members of the operating team ask her doctor, “Do you think she'll make it?"

The doctor answered, "No way—I give her a few days at the most" What Sally didn’t realize was that the conversation was about another patient. Although Sally's conscious mind was asleep, her subconscious heard every word and, not knowing the bigger picture, she accepted the statement as true about herself and went onto manifest the picture her subconscious had adopted Sally's hypnotic regression assisted her to realize this was not her prognosis, and she recovered.

The subconscious is the part of our mind that manufactures our experience. Psychologists tell us that the subconscious cannot distinguish between imagination and reality. If you hold am image in mind long enough and feel it as if it is real, you can manifest it. This is the essence of creative visualization, as well as self-fulfilling prophecy. If we think or worry about something enough, we may draw that experience to ourselves. We can use the same principle to bring us what we want. Hold in mind images of the life you desire, and refuse to feed thoughts of what you do not wish. Watch your words. Be careful what you say to little children (or the little child in adults), for children emotionally absorb ideas even if they are said in jest or the heat of an angry moment. Feed your mind and heart with the most positive, energetic, and enlivening ideas and feelings you can imagine Then you will live not in the world that is cast upon you, but the one you choose.

Help me to feed myself and others with soul-nourishing thoughts and feelings'

I speak the word of love, and it is manifested.

[bluidkiti]

August 5

Step by Step

"Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out." - Step 11

Today, Step 11 with the understanding that this is the extension of the Third - "Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him" - and it, like all the steps, are daily maintenance tasks and never a one-time shot. We live in the Program on a day-by-day reprieve from the gutter and are not guaranteed anything more regardless of the number of sober 24 Hours we have. While one person's recovery program differs from that of another person, all have at least one common thread: the surrender of self-will to a higher power of our individual understanding, and Step 11 is the one that suggests we hand over our self-will and ask for the will of our higher power over our own. By seeking a power greater than ourselves each day, we are improving our conscious contact with that power. Today, I remind myself that I have to hand over my self-will because to take it back and run life my way is the formula for a slip or relapse. And our common journey continues. Step by step. - Chris M.

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~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~

RECOVERY TOOLS

Man is a tool-using animal. . . . Without tools he is nothing with tools he is all.

~ Thomas Carlyle ~

When we hear, "you alone can make it happen, but you can't do it alone," we are being told, among other bits of advice, that we need tools in addition to the people who share our problems and solutions. The tools for recovery are many, and they are simple in form and made for simple usage. Basically, the primary tools are the Twelve Steps of our Program.

Among our most dependable tools is the freedom to accept our problems. This tool is the one that starts us on our journey through the Steps. It helps us turn our will over to God after we have decided that a Higher Power can restore us to sanity. Each Step is a tool, helping us go through inventories, make amends, improve our conscious contact with God, and understand our Higher Power's will for us.

I have learned which recovery tool to use at a particular time. And I continue to increase my desire and my ability to use each tool properly.

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~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~

Only your compassion and your loving kindness are invincible, and without limit.

~ Thich Nhat Hanh ~

We pray for the wisdom to distinguish between what we can change and what we cannot. This wisdom resides within our spiritual experience. This spiritual base is present even when our heart aches at the bedside of a loved one whose pain we cannot fix. We can be at peace in the wisdom of our hearts, knowing that the best we have to offer is our love and caring. We cannot do anything that will make a difference in taking away the pain, but just being there will make an immense difference.

We know that the spiritual truths that guide our lives are not based on the concrete world. Yet they light our paths. We see fear and terror in the world, yet we can find peace in knowing that our Higher Power will show us where to walk today. We cannot change the world today, but we can follow the light provided by the Twelve Steps. By doing our own small part, we offer a positive influence.

Today, as I live in the real world, I will also live in the spiritual world.

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~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~

If one lives, one experiences betrayal.

~ Ruth Casey ~

Betrayal is a hateful action. We have all experienced betrayal, sometimes even from those we love. The pain is seldom forgotten. Unfortunately, betraying others is a human failing we all share, each of us wants to be counted on, and we intend to live up to the expectations we have of ourselves. We sometimes falter, however, and hurt others by our actions. Pain is the result, every time, whether we betray another or are betrayed.

Perhaps our best hope for avoiding betrayal is relying on the Third Step for guidance before taking action. Stopping a moment to reflect before taking any action can change the tenor of every situation.

I have experienced betrayal. Even worse, I have betrayed others. Today will be different. I will listen to my Higher Power.

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~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~

I am slowly embracing the truth

When I was having psychiatric symptoms, they scared me. I wouldn't talk about them with anyone. I didn't think I'd be accepted or understood. And when I was getting high all the time, I'd deny it. Again, my experience scared me. I felt guilty, ashamed, afraid of punishment, and afraid of losing my source of relief.

In recovery, I have a different idea about being honest and open. I am learning that when I speak the truth, people understand me better. When I say what I'm thinking or feeling, they have a connection to me. When they know what's troubling me, chances are, they can help.

I will write down two ways in which getting honest has helped me begin to recover.

*************************************************

~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~

Laugh at yourself first, before anyone else can.

~ Elsa Maxwell ~

When was the last time we had a good laugh, really laughed, until tears rolled down our face and we had to catch our breath? Remember how good we felt afterward?

There is more and more evidence that laughter actually makes us feel good physically as well as emotionally. Laughter reduces muscle tension, exercises the lungs, and stimulates the circulatory system. It rejuvenates our minds and uplifts our spirits. After a good laugh we feel calmer, rejuvenated, even younger sometimes.

A burst of clean, refreshing humor helps us to stop taking ourselves so seriously. Someone once said the next best thing to solving a problem is finding some humor in it!

People who can laugh on a regular basis usually have fewer physical and emotional problems than those who find it difficult to see humor in anything. Luckily, humor is all around us if we just look for it. We can watch funny movies, read the funnies in the paper, join the laughter and giggling of small children, and choose to be with people who have a sense of humor.

Humor is spiritual, and it heals.

Today help me laugh today, and to nurture my sense of humor that I may bring a healing spirit into my life and to those around me.

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~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~

Resentment is an extremely bitter diet, and eventually poisonous. I have no desire to make my own toxins.

~ Neil Kinnock ~

A Cherokee chief was quite proud of his young grandson, but many members complained that the young man was filled with anger and treated others with disrespect. So the chief called to his grandson. “What do you want?” his grandson snapped.

“Two wolves live inside of us all,” the chief said. “One wolf is good. He helps you feel joy and love. He shows you the beauty of the world. And he creates in you compassion, understanding, and forgiveness. But there is also another wolf. He teaches you to see only evil. He causes you to feel anger and scorn. He is full of himself, and his powerful ego makes him feel superior. It is a fight to the death with these two, because one must be the winner.”

The young man thought for a moment, then asked his grandfather, “So, which wolf will win?”

“The one that you feed,” he replied.

When you hold onto anger, turn it upon yourself, or treat others with disrespect and scorn, your anger erects walls so high that you cannot see over them. But when you let go of your anger, you treat yourself and others with respect, kindness, and compassion. You build bridges to yourself and to others.

I will not let the wolf of anger win.

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~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~

I still find each day too short for all the thoughts I want to think, all the walks I want to take, all the books I want to read, and all the friends I want to see.

~ John Burroughs ~

We may look upon richness as an abundance of wealth. Some of us may believe if we only made more money our problems would be solved. Yet we've also heard the phrase, "Money doesn't buy everything." And, because we know that’s true, we may question just how we get the riches in our lives.

If we put aside all the insignificant things, we may find we have more time and attention to pay to important people and things. By focusing on the things most important to us, we would find ourselves with more time to do what we want.

Worrying over minor details, fretting over some misplaced item, or whining about some unobtainable desire only serves to distract us. We can increase the richness in our lives by eliminating whatever robs us of our peace of mind.

Tonight I can choose between wealth and poverty. What can I give up in order to enrich my life?

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~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~

Accepting change

In recovery, we have much work to do and many lessons to learn as we mend our ways and relationships. Each time we change we grow stronger and freer.

But often we are so attached to our defects and dependencies we are afraid of change, even good change. As suggested in Step Six, our job is to become willing to let change happen when the time is right.

Am I becoming willing to change?

Higher Power, help me to accept the need for change and to fear it less.

I am willing to change today by

God help me to stay clean and sober today!

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~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~

My memories are anything but a dispassionate chronicle.

~ ILYA EHRENBURG ~

Newcomer

I'm nervous about taking Step Eight. I can't help thinking ahead to Step Nine, actually talking to the people I owe amends to.

Sponsor

Remembering to stay in the present is one of the greatest challenges of living in recovery. If we're focusing on a future Step, letting the fear of it take over, we can't engage fully and wholeheartedly in the Step we're doing today.

When taking the first part of Step Eight, we make as complete a list of those we've harmed as memory allows. If we dimly remember an event but can't remember a name, we briefly describe the person. If we think that there's no hope of ever locating someone again, we still add him or her to the list. We may think that we've done less harm to some people than they've done to us. Still, we add their names to the list: this Step is about what we did, not about what others deserve.

By making this list we begin to see the extent of the harm we've done as the result of our addictive behavior, and to see how deeply interconnected our lives are with the lives of others. We realize that we're not alone in the world, and never have been.

Today, I look at my past without fear. I have faith that my human relationships are being healed.

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~ THE EYE OPENER ~

In our drinking days, when we were called upon to face a problem, we would side-step it, tunnel under it, jump over it or run away from it. It never occurred to us to face it and to walk through it.

It is remarkable how cowardly a trouble is when face to face with a person who is ready and willing to take him on. Try it.

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~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~

Support Me With Your Power

Lord, may everything I do start well and finish well.
Support me with Your power.
And in Your power let me drive away all falsehood so truth may always triumph.

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~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~

POLARITY

THE FIFTH COMMANDMENT

Honour thy father and thy mother: that their days may be long upon the land which the Lord thy God giveth thee (Exodus 20:12).

We should respect our parents just because they are our parents, but that teaching is just the very outer layer of this commandment. Underneath it is instruction in divine metaphysics because your real father and mother is God. When this commandment says, "Honour thy father and thy mother," it brings in the two poles, the male and the female, and, of course, polarity is the motive power of the universe. In the Bible, mother means the feeling nature, and the father is the knowledge nature. Most people have one side or the other more developed. When our prayers fail and we do not demonstrate, we fail because we are not honoring our father and our mother.
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~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~

This Too Shall Pass

All things must change to something new.

~ Henry Wadsworth Longfellow ~

A king in an ancient land sought the counsel of a sage. "I am not a happy man," admitted the monarch. "My emotions are driving me crazy. When I win a battle, I am elated. When I lose, I am depressed. My happiness seems to come and go like a feather dancing on the wind. Can you help me?"

The advisor thought for a moment, and answered, "I will return with help in three days."

After that time, the sage came back with a ring he had forged for the king. When the king read the inscription, he found the peace that he sought. The ring reminded the king, "This too shall pass."

No matter what is happening, it will eventually give way to something else. Try to hold on to an experience, and you will lose it. Try to make it go, and it will cling to you. Allow it to be with you for its right time, and you will enjoy it or learn from it. Trust that you will have everything you need for the right amount of time. When it leaves, assume it is departing to make way for something better.

My friend Scott made a successful living as a car salesman. "The best piece of advice I ever received was from my boss at the dealership," Scott told me. "One day after I took a significant loss on a deal, I complained to him about it. 'Don't let it get you down,' he told me. 'It's all in the averages.' He was right. In the long run, the good deals offset the bad ones. You have to remember the big picture.

The next time you face a problem, remember'. "This too shall pass." When you feel giddy, affirm: "This too shall pass." Only Spirit remains constant. With the right vision, we find comfort in the peace that remains behind all of life's changing forms.

Let me remember that Spirit is present, that I may enjoy my life as a colorful dance.

I trust the changes in my life, knowing that God alone is real.

[bluidkiti]

August 6

Step by Step

Today, just as preoccupation with the damage and guilt of yesterday can be deadly for us in recovery, so can be looking to tomorrow and fearing or dreading what it may bring. Therefore, let me seek my higher power's comfort to live only in today, and let me have the humility to ask his will of me and the gratitude that whatever I may face today is not more serious. Let me fully understand and believe that yesterday is gone and nothing in it can be undone except for amends I have made, and let me also understand and believe that tomorrow's fears may not come with the new day. Pray that I live only in today, in the now, for it truly is all I have. And our common journey continues. Step by Step. - Chris M.

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~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~

GOD'S WILL

You are exactly where God wants you to be.

~ Anonymous ~

When we took our First Step, we admitted we were powerless over our disease. This single admission opened us up to a bigger realization: we just might not be in charge of anything. We were also powerless over people, places, and things. When we recognized this, a different future became ours. We came to believe that our Higher Power was in charge. We did not have to know the plan before it was revealed. We could trust that we would be well cared for, always.

There are still times when we feel insecure and uneasy about our lives. At those times, we may question God. We may wonder if we're being punished for something we've done wrong. We may ask if this is all there is to recovery. We can hold fast to the truth that we are just where God would have us.

The times I take control and attempt to force a change will only cause me to lose touch with my Higher Power. I will be patient. I believe answers will emerge at exactly the right time.

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~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~

If a man does his best, what else is there?

~ General George S. Patton ~

Doing our best is not perfection. We have goals and tasks before us. We work at them and we give them our best shot. That is all we need to do, and we deserve to feel all the self-respect any good man feels.

Some of our goals are big challenges. We can set aside any hopes of achieving them perfectly, but when we look back at what we have already done, we may remember that we have come further than we ever dreamed possible. If we expected perfection of ourselves, it would not help us. In fact, it would only get in the way of our work.

Today I give my best to the work that is before me. I will ask nothing more of myself.

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~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~

As we cultivate stillness and commune with the Presence within, we are mightily enhanced.

~ Marsha Sinetar ~

When we retreat to our quiet interior spaces, we grow in our understanding of God and life’s mysteries. The richness we come to know through keeping our spiritual life simple is unexpected.

Spiritual leaders from all faiths have suggested we go within to know God and, thus, ourselves. The founders of our program suggested likewise. It was their hope that we might find the peace and freedom that only God can guarantee. The Steps are our tools for knowing God.

Each day that we rely on our spiritual connection to clarify our direction, we’ll discover the serenity that enhances our being. Perhaps we didn’t need our dependencies to know God, but they are serving as the pathway to our freedom.

I consider myself lucky to be an alcoholic or other drug addict. It has given me a connection to God that is enriching my life.

**************************************************

~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~

I want to make today a day of recovery

A lot of time has passed with my dual illnesses. It feels like I've lost years of my life. First, the psychiatric problem and then the using, when everything got much worse.

But I am coming around. I'm stable and I haven't used drugs now for quite a while. I feel like I've finally come to rest after a long, uncontrolled slide. Now I need to let go of my past—I can't get it back—and concentrate on today. I only get a day at a time. I want to make the most of each one.

I will meditate on what I need to do today to make it a day of recovery.

*************************************************

~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~

In order to live free and happily
you must sacrifice boredom.
It is not always an easy sacrifice.

~ Richard Bach ~

One luxury we simply cannot afford today is boredom. It is a condition which occurs when we lose sight of what’s happening around us. When bored, we may invest in self-pity and dig ourselves into an emotional trench, unlit, lined in loneliness. Boredom can be toxic, and sometimes we can’t think ourselves into doing anything. But we can get busy and do ourselves into thinking. While this isn’t always easy at first, it gets us moving again.

And, as they say, when we “bring the body, the mind will follow.” The spirit follows, too.

Soon, we are actively engaged in life again, and our attention is once more in the present. Often, simply going for a walk or washing the dishes is all we need. Our bodies are designed for movement, our senses to be stimulated, our minds to seek knowledge, and our spirits to bring us peace. When we get them started, they can carry us a long way — after all, they’ve carried us into a joyful new life, haven’t they?

Today help me grow thankful for the meaning that sober activity has given my life.

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~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~

We tend to forget that happiness doesn’t come as a result of getting something we don’t have, but rather of recognizing and appreciating what we do have.

~ Frederick Koenig ~

How you receive a gift conveys much about your ability to feel gratitude. This gift can be a material object, a kindness shown to you by another, one of your abilities, or a beautiful sunrise that starts your day. No matter how a gift comes to you, how you respond to the gift reflects how capable you are of being grateful for everything you have been given.

Gratitude consists of three parts: the recognition of something you have been given, an appreciative attitude for having received it, and the ability to express your appreciation.

But gratitude is not just about receiving. The more grate-ful you can be for what you have in your life, the more willing you can be to give to others. This builds a habit of gratitude that begins with you and can extend outward to others. What results is a beautiful continuum to gratitude: as you take in the gifts you are given and are filled with gratitude for them, you can reach out to spread this gratitude to others.

Each day I will think of three things for which I am most grateful. I will spread this attitude of gratitude to others.

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~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~

I offer you no reward for being loyal to me, and surely I do not threaten you with pain, penalty, and dire disaster if you are indifferent to me.

~ Elbert Hubbard ~

We can learn a great deal about unselfish love from a pet. A cat or dog stays with us despite mixed messages of "Come here, I need you," and "Go away, you're bothering me." They're always there for us and expect nothing in return.

Are we as loyal to our friends, or do we demand they be there for us when we need them? If they don't show up, or they let us down, or they give disapproval, do we write them off? Being a friend or having one doesn't mean making demands. It also doesn't mean seeking retaliation if our demands aren't met.

We can allow others to show us friendship without making demands upon them. This means accepting their attention and love, as well as their lack of attention and their silence. Friends are not promises to be kept or admirers to be courted. Friends are blessings. The more we treat them like blessings, the more friends we'll be blessed with.

How well did I treat my friends today? I can let my friends be themselves, showing their own forms of love and respect.

**************************************************

~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~

Twelfth-Stepping

Our addictive personalities can produce un-expected twists in character: Many of us can’t stand practicing addicts of any kind. It feels old to Twelfth-Step someone who re-minds us so sharply of where we came from. Who wants to get up at three o’clock in the morning to Twelfth-Step someone who’s high and probably won’t remember what you said anyway?

What’s the use? we may ask. We’re the use! Twelfth-Stepping is something we need to do to stay clean and sober. We may not like it all the time, but it keeps us growing.

Do I always carry the message to those who still suffer?

God give me the strength, patience, and love it requires to Twelfth-Step those who still suffer.

Today I will work on tolerance by

God help me to stay clean and sober today!

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~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~

He who accounts all things easy will have many difficulties.

~ LAO-TZU ~

Newcomer

Is there any special way I should go about making an amends list? I think it's going to be a long one, and I don’t know if I can trust my memory.

Sponsor

There are many ways to make an Eighth Step list. One is to look at the Fourth Step inventory we wrote and review the names of those we feared or resented. Or we can make a list by starting with friends, work associates, and family members in our present lives, then working backward in time.

We make an effort to remember every person we’ve harmed, but if we've forgotten some, we don’t worry. As we continue to recover, memories return, often triggered by other people's sharing: we can add those names as they come to us.

Some recovering people choose to use index cards for the amends list. The idea is to write the person's name (we can add his or her address and phone number, if we have them) at the top of the card, then write a phrase or a sentence about exactly what sort of harm we caused. We then turn the card over and note which of our characteristics or feelings lay behind the harm that we caused (for example, fear or low self-esteem). If we then arrange our stack of index cards according to the characteristics we've named on the reverse side we may see clusters of attitudes and habits that reveal more to us about our underlying beliefs.

Today, I acknowledge that my thoughts and actions affect others.

**************************************************

~ THE EYE OPENER ~

It is not natural for a human being to be entirely contemptuous of public opinion. We all smart under criticism and we all enjoy applause. We cannot be blamed for purring like a cat when our fur is being rubbed the right way.

Neither public acclaim nor public censure is always deserved, however, and we should therefore temper our reactions to them until we have received the stamp of approval from the little man inside us, who really knows the facts as to our deserts.

**************************************************
(NEW)
~ WALK SOFTLY AND CARRY A BIG BOOK ~ (Official & Unofficial Sloganeering From the 12 Step Programs) ~

1) Keep an unmade mind instead of a mind made up.

2) No matter how fast or how far you go, you can't outrun God.

3) A winner is a loser who keeps on trying.

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~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~

Blessings by the Buddha

May every creature abound in well-being and peace.
May every living being, weak or strong, the long
and the small, the short and the medium-sized, the
mean and the great,
May every living being, seen and unseen, those
living far off, those nearby, those already born,
those waiting to be born,
May all attain inward peace.

Let no one deceive another,
Let no one despise another in any situation,
Let no one, from apathy or hatred, wish evil to
anyone at all.
Just as a mother, with her own life, protects her
child from hurt,
So within yourself foster a limitless concern for
every living creature.

Display a heart of boundless love for all the world
In all its height and depth and broad extent,
Love unrestrained, without hate or hostility.

Then as you stand or walk, sit or lie, until overcome
by drowsiness, devote your mind entirely to this;
It is known as living here life divine.

*************************************************

~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~

EXPRESSING WHAT YOU ARE

THE SIXTH COMMANDMENT

Thou shalt not kill (Exodus 20:13 ).

As rules of conduct, the commandments are just such "thou shalt nots" as you see written up, “No smoking" or "No thoroughfare." But when you get behind the surface meaning, then "Thou shalt not" becomes "Thou canst not."

So this commandment, "Thou shalt not kill," is fundamentally an expression of the cosmic law that you cannot kill, and the sooner you find that out the better. We are always trying to kill. However, this commandment is here to tell us that to think we can kill anything is to lay up trouble for ourselves that will have to be met and wiped out some time or other.

Nothing ever dies from the outside. No one can kill your character. No one can kill your peace of mind. No one can kill your business, or your reputation, or anything that is yours. You can, but nobody else can. No man or woman was ever yet destroyed from the outside.

Many people waste their lives in thinking how they are being hurt, or damaged, or injured by other people; how good they could be, what marvelous things they could do, if it were not for others. So long as you believe that, you cannot progress. As soon as you know that nobody can hurt you, then you are free to overtake any mistakes, and to be and do the thing you want.

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~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~

Fame

Drop the idea of making a bit record, and call in the energy of truth.

~ Kenny Loggins ~

When someone asks me how to write a successful book, I tell them, "come from your heart, tell the truth, and write for yourself. Do not write with the goal of pleasing people or becoming rich and famous. If you’re true to yourself, the world will acknowledge and support you. If you seek fame and glory, your values are inside out, and you're setting yourself up for struggle, frustration, and pain. Seek to serve, and your happiness is ensured.”

Kenny Loggins is one of the most beloved and successful musicians of our time; over 25 years, he has sold over 30 million albums. When I met Kenny, I found him to be one of the most sincere, genuine, and emotionally available people I have encountered. He lives in his heart and values relationship above glory. Kenny wrote one of his most popular albums, Leap of Faith, while he was going through a painful divorce. The songs on the album chronicle the emotions he wrestled with, as well as the vision of the new life he sought to live. Kenny was quite vulnerable about his process, and the album, a reflection of his turning point, has touched and changed many lives. I believe it is his most real.

Paul Simon went through a similar process. His career was sagging, and he was going through significant life changes. Ignited by the fire of transformation, he decided to chuck standard fare and follow his heart and play the music that turned him on the most. The result was his landmark Rhythm of the Saints album, which won a Grammy Award for Best Album of the Year and set him off on an international tour that broke down many walls of fear and prejudice as he brought musicians from different cultures together.

When I feel stuck, I remind myself of my true purpose. I am not here to gather accolades; I am here to remember who I am and express it without apology. Come from your heart, and the world will bless you with peace.

Help me remember that inner integrity is far more important than worldly glory.

I dedicate myself to authenticity. As I live what I am, I prosper in every way.

[bluidkiti]

August 7

Step by Step

Today, look to the 12th Step and ask if we are effective carriers of the message. Before we can carry the message, Step 12 suggests we first have a spiritual awakening and, second, we practice the principles of all 12 Steps and Traditions in"all our affairs." If, on honest evaluation, we can truthfully attest to a spiritual awakening and to practicing the principles of the 12 Steps "in all our affairs," we might be an effective carrier of the message to someone who is both struggling to get and stay sober. But if we scoff at the idea of a spiritual awakening or apply some of the program's principles selectively, how can we be an effective 12th-Stepper? How do we carry a message we have not embraced? Because a way of keeping what we have been given in the program is to give it away, we seek wisdom from our higher power to be humbled to carry the message. And our common journey continues. Step by step. - Chris M.

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~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~

FEARING THE UNKNOWN

The actual enemy is the unknown.

~ Thomas Mann ~

Before we entered the Program, fear of the unknown was a large part of our lives. After a time in recovery, we learn how to control that fear by controlling our tendency to return to old behavior or use of harmful substances.

We know that recovery based wholly on fear will not last. If we spend all our time being afraid of our addiction, we won't be able to enjoy the changes and discoveries of our new life. We function better on common sense. Our understanding of fear needs to be based in reality. We thrive on trust rather than worry, uncertainty and dread.

We are taught that we don't need to fear the unknown when we learn to turn it over to our Higher Power. The unknown becomes simply a chance to change for the better.

Much of my fear of the unknown springs from my lack of confidence in coping with unexpected experiences. I am learning to live without anticipating trouble, and to deal with it when it comes.

**************************************************

~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~

I am always doing that which I cannot do, in order that I may learn how to do it.

~ Pablo Picasso ~

We fear trying something that we are not good at. We don’t want to do something that we don’t already have a handle on. If it isn’t our usual way, we doubt that it’s right for us. We are afraid of looking foolish, or we are suspicious of things that are unfamiliar.

But let us look at the most accomplished people we know. They didn’t achieve greatness by repeating what they already knew. They felt strong enough within themselves—they had the courage—to take risks. Failures were part of their learning and became the basis for greater accomplishment.

Some men get older without ever getting wiser or more grown up. They hold willfully onto what they already know. This lifestyle, living in the light of the Twelve Step program, challenges us to continually push into new territories of growth. We walk on paths where we cannot always see around the next turn. We don’t know how to recover before we get on the path of recovery.

Today is another day in which I will do thing? that push my learning forward.

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~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~

I used to think, this is just the way I am. Now I know that I create myself anew—every day.

~ Jill Clark ~

Even when we wallowed in drags and self-pity, we were in charge of our choices. Try as we might to blame others for our failures, the buck stops here.

The necessity of taking responsibility for our entire life may be one of the hardest lessons we have to learn. We can start accepting responsibility by following the example of others in this circle of recovery. We can quit blaming parents, teachers, siblings, or neighbors for our problems and habitual defects of character.

We must finally accept that we always had choices on how to respond to every transgression against us. As youngsters we may not have felt empowered to stand up for ourselves, but we must take that step now, or be forever stuck in the patterns of the past.

Today is a clean slate. I will be me, whoever I decide "me” is. I will become a work of art today.

**************************************************

~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~

I have strength and patience

When I was at bottom with my dual disorder I could hardly get out of bed or stop crying. I could hardly eat or stop obsessing. I was desperate. I was afraid that I might never find relief. Finally I got evaluated by a psychiatrist who prescribed psychotherapy and a psychiatric medication. She warned me that it would take a couple of weeks for the medicine to become effective. It felt like forever.

But with the help of my higher power and my sponsor, I managed to hang on until the medication could take effect. And through the process, I learned something very important about myself: I have more strength and patience than I ever knew. I am strong enough to allow time to help me heal.

In my journal I will describe two ways I am strong or patient.

*************************************************

~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~

That is the happiest conversation where there is no competition, no vanity, but a calm, quiet interchange of sentiments.

~ Samuel Johnson ~

When we say “We’re not communicating well,” often what we’re really saying is, “I’m communicating just fine; it’s the other person who isn’t communicating well!” We tend to expect other people, especially those closest to us, to know instinctively what we want to hear. But not everyone communicates the same way, and it’s easier to change ourselves than the other person.

When we talk to a loved one about our recovery, our new sober friends, and our new experiences, we may be disappointed because they don’t react the way we expected. We’re hurt and believe since we initiated the discussion, the other person has the communication problem.

But we can’t change another, we can’t force someone to say the words we long to hear. We can only change ourselves. We can start by letting go of expectations. Trust in our Higher Power can help us feel safe even when things don’t go as we’d planned. We can forgive others for not being as we’d hoped. And we can choose to share our joy in recovery with those who understand and will nurture us. Sharing our feelings for the simple pleasure of self-expression can bring us great joy. In doing this, we communicate our true selves.

Today let me share honestly and without expectations.

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~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~

God brings men into deep waters, not to drown them, but to cleanse them.

~ John Aughey ~

A woman who had great faith rented a boat with the intent of crossing a lake. “Be back within the hour,” the boat rental owner advised. “A storm is coming.” The woman smiled, “God will protect me.”

When she was partway across the lake, the storm rolled In and her boat capsized. Soon she saw the boat rental owner steering a boat toward her. “Get in,” he shouted, but the woman said, “God will save me.”

Sometime later, the woman heard a helicopter and saw a long cable extending down toward her. “Climb up,” the pilot shouted, but she refused. “God will take care of me.” It was not long before the woman was standing, dripping wet, before God. “Why did you let me drown?” she asked. “I have faith in you. I thought you would save me.” or “Who do you think sent the boat and the helicopter?” God asked.

Remember that your Higher Power can be a lifesaver, but only when you can grab hold and take action on your own. Reach out to God whenever you are in need, but also take responsibility for finding what you are looking for.

Today I have faith in a Higher Power and also in myself.

**************************************************

~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~

I been so busy thinking about Him I never truly notice nothing God make. Not a blade of corn (how it do that?) not the color purple (where it come from?). Not the little wildflowers. Nothing.

~ Alice Walker, The Color Purple ~

Each snowflake that falls from the sky has a different pattern. Every fall foliage season is a spectacular pallet of oranges, reds, and yellows. The height of the giant redwoods is astounding. The rainbow after a rainstorm, the camouflage of nature's insects and animals, and the majesty of the mountains are just a few of the natural wonders of the world.

How often do we notice these wonders? How often do we go out of our way to discover a new path, or vary our schedules to include a new hobby, task, or person in our lives?

Tonight we can slow down the pace and notice the things around us. If we can quietly think about these things for a few minutes, then we have meditated upon them and brought ourselves spiritually closer to them. We can begin to notice the creations of our Higher Power and appreciate their beauty.

Am I grateful for the creations of my Higher Power?

**************************************************

~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~

Getting past the differences

Although the language of the Twelve Step program may sound religious at times, its goals are entirely spiritual. Whether we hold atheistic, Christian, Jewish, Muslim, or other beliefs, we are welcome in the fellowship.

To take part, all we need to do is accept that we have addiction we cannot handle on our own and accept that a power greater than ourselves can help.

Can I take what I like from the program and leave the rest?

Higher Power, help me see what I share with others in the program and to let go of the differences.

Today I will decide what I like, and dislike, about the program by

God help me to stay clean and sober to day!

**************************************************

~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~

What is not recorded is not remembered.

~ BENAZIR BHUTTO ~

Newcomer

What if I don't think that I've harmed many people or that the harm was significant?

Sponsor

There's a program saying that when a train is wrecked, it's not just the engineer who gets hurt. We're not alone; none of us live in total isolation from others.

Perhaps we haven't stolen money, attacked anyone with our fists, demolished someone's character, or been sexually irresponsible. But if we've been angry impatient, and critical, those around us have suffered from our lack of under- standing and appreciation. Or have we been smothering and over responsible, enabling others to neglect their own responsibilities? It simply isn't possible for someone whose life has been affected by an addiction not to have caused some damage whether the damage has been mental, physical, or spiritual.

Taking this Step gently but thoroughly, neither overstating nor ignoring the impact we've had on others, can liberate us from the incorrect belief that we have no effect in the world.

Today, I'm open to the healing that begins withmaking a list of everyone whom I have harmed.

**************************************************

~ THE EYE OPENER ~

Service ends one of his verses in this fashion, “it’s the keeping on living that's hard.” Living has always been hard, not only for the alcoholic, but for humanity in general, since the beginning of recorded history, and was probably even worse before that.

We are surrounded on all sides by people who find living all too rugged for their puny strength. This is our opportunity. We find we can lighten their load of living and, curiously enough, we find that we lighten our own loads in so doing. Living then becomes less hard for us and assumes a sweetness that appears divine in its richness.

**************************************************

~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~

Let the Worst Be Known

Lord, this I pray,
As long as I'm preoccupied with my own secret problems, not sharing them with anyone, I'm critical, insensitive, selfish, and full of self-pity.
Help me to share and honestly reveal my secret problems.
O God, show me the way out.
Show me the way to make the worst known, for then I will honestly release my secret problems to those close to me and surrender them to You.
This suffering will pass.
This suffering I will use in understanding and helping others.

*************************************************

~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~

FALSE ALLEGIANCE

THE SEVENTH COMMANDMENT

Thou shalt not commit adultery (Exodus 20:14).

Naturally, this commandment means what it says. The Christian standard of conduct with regard to personal purity will never be improved on. Not to commit adultery is fundamentally important because on it is founded the sanctity of the family. But, of course, there is a great deal more in it than that.

One of the most common Hebrew synonyms was adultery for idolatry. In the Old Testament these two words are almost always interchangeable. The worship of false gods was described as adultery. The fundamental idea behind this commandment is to have one God. As you read through the Old Testament, you will find that the idea of the adulterous woman who is unfaithful to her husband constantly means the human soul that is turning away to some other god.

**************************************************

~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~

Divine Order Now

Now let the weeping cease;
let no one mourn again.
These things are in the hand of God.

~ Sophocles ~

We regret to announce that Flight 317 has been canceled due to mechanical trouble. Please stay in the waiting room until we have a further advisory." A wave of groans and protests rose from the mass of disgruntled passengers. The stress level grew higher when the agent announced that the airline had found a replacement plane, but it was smaller than the original one; passengers for the new flight would be selected by lottery. Passenger Eric Butterworth reminded himself that divine order was in force, and if he was to be on that plane, he would be. He recognized that anxious stressing or complaining would not help anyone, and placed the whole affair in the hands of God. Dr. Butterworth saw that nearly everyone in the room was upset except for one man who seemed relaxed, taking it all in stride. Eric took a seat next to the fellow and struck up a conversation. Soon, the results of the lottery were announced. Can you guess which names were called first? That's right—Dr. Butterworth and his newfound friend.

Jesus reminded us, "Take no thought for tomorrow." Tomorrow means anything in the future. He asked, "Can any among you add one cubit to your height or one day to your life through anxious worry?" Of course not. The serenity prayer reminds us to ask: God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.

A Course in Miracles suggests that we affirm, "l place the future in the hands of God." Indeed we must, because the future is in the hands of God. We do not need to feverishly hustle to make sure everything will turn out right. We attract all that turns out right by being at peace.

Help me to not be distracted by appearances. Let me remember that You are in charge, love is present, and all is well.

Divine order is in force here, now, and always.

[bluidkiti]

August 8

Step by Step

Today, I will like myself and, in the process, maybe allow someone else to like me. I will not let the shame, regret, selfishness and self-pity of my drinking days weigh me down in guilt and self-loathing that erect walls to keep the good out. I will realize that being sober in this 24 Hours can be the starting point of self-acceptance and amends which, in turn, might let others see I have begun the journey of recovery and all it entails. And in liking myself, I hope to gain the self-respect not to drink or use because, today, I have no reason to fear or be ashamed of the man in the mirror. And our common journey continues. Step by step. - Chris M.

**************************************************

~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~

13TH STEP

The 13th Step is taken by members who suffer from the delusion that sex can cure their addiction.

~ Anonymous ~

Both women and men practice the selfish 13th Step. They're not always easy to spot. Some go to meetings and appear to work the Program while others just sit around clubhouses, eyeballing members of the opposite sex (always newcomers), waiting for their chance to pounce. Newcomers, being somewhat bewildered, sometimes confuse lust with love and fall victim to this dangerous game.

Many newcomers have run from the Program when they realize the "help" being offered was a mask for sexual favors. Many of these unsuspecting newcomers never come back. Sex has never cured anyone's obsessions or addictions.

I am responsible for not using my experience in the Program to take advantage of a fellow member, especially a newcomer. If I see anyone 13th Stepping, I will do what I can to tell the person how unlucky the 13th Step is.

**************************************************

~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~

The important thing in life is not to have a good hand but to play it well.

~ Louis N. Fortin ~

We all admire a man who gets dealt a difficult hand and plays it well. Most of us have been dealt a mixed hand in life. We had some bad breaks and some advantages. Many of those things we have no choice about; our starting point is the situation we find ourselves in. But we have a lot of choices about how we handle our situation. We cannot choose to have a lot of wealth today; we cannot choose to be free of family problems today; and if we have a health problem, that is what we must deal with. But we can choose how we will respond to our circumstances, and we can choose what kind of person we will be.

No one can take away the quality of our character or the attitude we have toward our situation. We find real meaning for life when we focus on the choices we can make. We set our sights on being the best kind of man we know how to be, even when we have to deal with tough circumstances.

Today the meaning I get from life comes from growing in my strength of character.

**************************************************

~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~

Most of us spend our energy seeking the highs in an effort to avoid the lows. Unfortunately, these false highs are not really nourishing.

~ Niro Asistent ~

Emotional highs energize us. All of us experience them. Most of us crave them, but unfortunately they are short-lived. When external circumstances elevate our mood, their absence brings us back down. Highs like these set us up for disappointment.

Recovery can change this aspect of our lives. Using the Twelve Steps, we are able to experience highs as a natural response to our interior activity. Feeling as good as we want to feel, every day, is possible when we decide to use the Steps: to look to our Higher Power for knowledge of what to do on a daily basis, to seek comfort when we are filled with fear, to receive courage when amends are in order. Our emotions will reflect how consistently we use the Steps. We can be energized by highs every day if we so desire.

I can feel a nourishing high today if I use the tools of the program to guide me.

**************************************************

~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~

I need to let go of temporary losses

I make my favorite meal and it doesn’t satisfy me. I go out to eat and nothing on the menu interests me. I feel hungry but can't eat. There are times these days when I feel angry with my dual disorder; I can't enjoy something that has given me pleasure in the past. Sometimes it feels like there is little left in my day ro look forward to. (And then I feel more like using.)

But to avoid a slip, I need to keep in mind that recovery involves upset and change—letting go of old ways, slowly learning new ones. And letting go includes losses—even temporary ones, like my favorite foods. In the meantime, I might discover some delicious new food.

I will come up with two foods and two activities that I still enjoy these days, despite my illnesses.

*************************************************

~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~

let all go dear so comes love

~ e. e. Cummings ~

The concept of “letting go,” surrendering so change will occur in our lives, is not new to us. Our addicted life required complete surrender to our drug of choice. Physical, emotional, and spiritual sacrifices were demanded of us on a daily basis. These sacrifices gained us nothing but pain and isolation and self- hate. Yet we clung to them, afraid to let go.

We still have a daily duty now, a duty to our recovery. Our most important task is to understand and accept what we cannot control — our addiction, other people, the past, the weather — and turn them over to our Higher Power.

How satisfying surrender in sobriety is today! What relief we feel when we turn our cares over to God, knowing He will help us find a new way to live. In surrender, we discover and claim serenity, fellowship, integrity, accountability, peace, focus, and the love of our Higher Power.

Today help me let go of at least one thing I cannot change.

**************************************************

~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~

A lie may take care of the present, but it has no future.

~ Author unknown ~

When you were using, you most likely knew that you had a problem with drugs or alcohol but you were afraid to acknowledge this truth to yourself. So you may have lied to yourself and told yourself that things were not that bad. You convinced yourself of one big lie: that you could, in fact, stop anytime you wanted to. You just did not want to.

You also lied because you were afraid of what others would think of you. Perhaps they suspected you had a problem with drugs and alcohol. But you created lies to convince them they were wrong and told more lies to cover up your addictive behaviors.

Yet here you are in recovery. Your lies may have bought you a little time and postponed the inevitable, but they never changed the fact that you were an addict. And now, in recovery, you have learned that you can experience greater freedom and peace when you no longer lie, cover up, or act in secrecy. Today you can acknowledge, with total honesty, that you are an addict. Recovery helps you to see the value in honesty. Your truthfulness sets you free from your former life.

The program teaches me honesty and releases me from fear so I will speak truthfully.

**************************************************

~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~

The man who goes alone can start today, but he who travels with another must wait till that other is ready.

~ Henry David Thoreau ~

Do we ever change our minds or our plans, depending on what another person says? Maybe we'd like some time alone, but because another wants us to do something else we bow to those wishes. We may even feel lost unless someone provides us with suggestions of things to do.

It's up to us to undertake our own journeys in life. If we're always waiting to see what someone else will do, we'll be waiting forever. We need to make independent choices and decisions without feeling linked to the wishes or desires of others.

Tonight we can begin our journeys by making our choices. Our desires are important, and it's equally important to stick to them no matter what the wishes of another.

It's okay to change my mind and my plans if I wish, choose to be alone , or ask to be with another. The decision is mine to make.

**************************************************

~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~

Recovering love

Our Higher Power has always loved us and always will. Our problem is learning to accept and believe that. While using mood- altering chemicals, we were unable to accept this love. Later, we could not even believe in this love. And for many of us, the same problems are true in our other relationships.

By getting free of mood-altering chemicals, by getting into recovery and going to Twelve Step meetings, we will see love in action. We will see that it is real and can be trusted. We will feel its power to heal and make whole.

Am I experiencing love again?

Higher Power, help me to absorb the love that flows in the fellowship.

Today I will be especially loving toward

God help me to stay clean and sober to day!

**************************************************

~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~

The same heart beats in every human breast.

~ MATTHEW ARNOLD ~

Newcomer

Why do I hear some people say that they've put themselves on their own Eighth Step list? I thought that this Step was about the harm we did to other people.

Sponsor

The harm we did to other people also harmed us. All harm is also self-harm, just as all deception is also self-deception.

Take lying, for example. When I told a lie, I damaged my own relationship to the truth, to my Higher Power, and to others. One consequence of telling a lie was to feel guilty; unable to tolerate the feeling of guilt, I turned to my addiction to numb myself, The people to whom I lied may have been misled, but my lies affected me by damaging my self-esteem and blocking my connection with my spirit. After we've made an Eighth Step list of people we've harmed, we may also want to add a note in each case, of the ways we harmed ourselves in the process. It will then be clear whether or not we should add our own names to the list of people to whom we owe amends.

Today, I become willing to make amends to myself.

**************************************************

~ THE EYE OPENER ~

Some of us wear our AA like we wear our clothes, entirely as external adornment and protection, and to hide what is underneath.

There are many, however, who wear their AA in such a way that the AA way of living is so predominant in their appearance that all other apparel is unnoticed. To see such a person, the reaction is not to observe a gray suit or a blue dress, but a personality that radiates a character made beautiful by the simple code of living as found in our Twelve Steps.

**************************************************

~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~

Thank You God

Thank You, God, for hearing my prayers and granting my requests.
Thank You for the kindness You have shown me, and the good people who surround me.
Thank You for giving me this new life in recovery, and your great patience in helping me with my shortcomings.
Thank You for protecting me from the things that tempt me, and may my thoughts and actions demonstrate my gratitude to You.

*************************************************

~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~

BY RIGHT OF CONSCIOUSNESS

THE EIGHTH COMMANDMENT

Thou shalt not steal (Exodus 20:15).

Many people will say, “We always knew that we must not steal. If we do we shall have trouble and probably wind up in prison.” All through the ages it is only the smallest percentage of human beings who have stolen. Respect for other people's property was learned early in the history of civilization. However, this most fundamental law of life means that actually we cannot steal. You may say you know someone who broke into your house and took your silver. The burglar who took your silver actually transferred some silver from your house to someone else’s house, but did he get away with it? If that silver belonged to you by right of consciousness, all the burglars in the world could not have taken it away. In fact, if you had this understanding, you could take a ten dollar bill, put it on the sidewalk in Times Square, and return the next day and it would still be there. Your consciousness of the presence of God in other people would have been so strong that no one could have taken from you what belonged to you by right of that consciousness.

These ten laws of life are things that cannot be done, and so, says the great prophet in effect, do not waste yourself or your life trying to do these things. They cannot be done. They conflict with the fundamental Law of Being.

When we give up trying to steal, then we shall begin to have our own. We shall come into our own rights, and when we get that, liberation will not be very far off.

**************************************************

~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~

I’m Enough

The truth about you is so lofty that nothing unworthy of God is unworthy of you.

~ A Course in Miracles ~

While shopping one day, I met a woman whom I found very attractive. Before I left her store, I told her, "I think you're very pretty." Her response took me by surprise. Quickly, she answered, "I'm a twin."

As I walked away, I tried to understand why she would say that. I believe she was unable to receive the compliment fully. By pointing out that she had a twin, she was, in effect, saying, “Yes, but there are actually two of me, so l do not have to own the full responsibility of being pretty."

Many of us have difficulty accepting compliments because we subconsciously believe that we are not worthy of them. A compliment triggers our discomfort of believing that if the complimenters knew the truth about us, they would find the contrary. We do not recognize that the person who compliments us is closer to the truth than we are.

There are many ways in which we deflect love when it's offered. We say no to money when it's available, and we sabotage jobs. We deal similarly with relationships, running from quality people, acting in ways that we know will make them leave, or settling for less than we want and deserve. In sexuality, we may stop ourselves from receiving real pleasure or experiencing orgasm because we fear feeling vulnerable or being overwhelmed by the energy of love Then we go on living at half-steam and wonder why we are not happy.

We can cultivate our capacity to receive and enjoy love. Practice letting compliments in. Instead of firing off a polite “Thank you,” take a breath and a moment to let the gift seep in; this will energize you and bless the giver. When offered money or support, gratefully accept. In relationships and sexuality, don't settle for half-fulfillment; cultivate being filled with the gifts your partner brings Then we can all be wholly beautiful and lovable, no matter how many of us there are.

I pray to be able to fully receive the love that is offered me.

I honor God and myself by letting the love in.

[bluidkiti]

August 9

Step by Step

"Have I ever wanted a drink during these years? Only once did I suffer from a nearly overpowering compulsion to take a drink. Oddly enough, the circumstances and surroundings were pleasant. I was at a beautifully set dinner table. I was in a perfectly happy frame of mind. I had been in AA a year, and the last thing in my mind was a drink. There was a glass of sherry at my place. I was seized with an almost uncontrollable desire to reach out for it. I shut my eyes and asked for help. In 15 seconds or less, the feeling passed." - Alcoholics Anonymous, 3rd Edition, 1976, "Alcoholics Anonymous Number Three," Ch 9 ("The Man Who Mastered Fear"), p 285.

Today, a reminder that my life has been relatively good if and when I have been tempted to drink. That the temptation sneaks on me when life is good asks the question if I still harbor self-destructive traits or if my ego is such that I think I "deserve" a "reward" of a drink. And when I see a CC and Coke or whiskey sour or a drink that has a soft inviting golden glow, do I think about the "good" times I had with drinking? Or do I remember that a drink has always led me to waking the next morning to that same golden color - in my vomit - or the headache so overpowering that it is beyond the aspirin cure and a stomach churning so violently that the smell of coffee is enough to trigger the dry heaves? Do I remember that the sight of a drink represents another DUI arrest and maybe another night in the county jail's drunk tank? Whatever! If and when I am tempted, I can and must do what I have to do if I don't want to take that first drink: "shut my eyes and ask for help." Today, I will be strong enough to ask for help, and I will not forget where the first drink will take me. And our common journey continues. Step by step. - Chris M.

**************************************************

~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~

GOD'S GIFTS

God will never give you more than you can handle.

~ Anonymous ~

There were times before we began our recovery that a trip to the store was too much for us. As time went on, we could handle less and less. Our addiction had made the simplest tasks unmanageable. The more we relied on ourselves the more we were let down. We became the ultimate of basket cases.

Now, in recovery, we have opened to a Power that takes care of all our concerns. We are asked to take certain Steps and work our Program. Satisfaction comes in knowing that God will never give us more than we can handle. We soon realize that we can handle much more than we thought.

Our temptation is to slip back into our old patterns when things got complicated. We used to think we could hide from our troubles. Now we trust in God and allow our Higher Power to work for us.

In time, simple solutions appear. Calmness returns. I don't need to fear change or problems.

**************************************************

~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~

Ritual is the way you carry the presence of the sacred. Ritual is the spark that must not go out.

~ Christina Baldwin ~

We celebrate birthdays, anniversaries, births, graduations, and holidays. These events mark important times and turning points. Many of us have not honored these rituals, or we have doubted their meaning in life. Some of us have seen rituals used in false and hollow ways, and as a result deprived ourselves of the honest and deep rewards that flow from true and meaningful observances. Many of us are awakening from a time when all of life lost its meaning, and rituals also seemed empty.

Now we are transforming into men who are not cynical, who don’t diminish the landmarks in our lives. So we send birthday cards, we light a candle for the memory of a departed grandparent, and we give a gift to acknowledge our partner’s special day. The ritual of observing one month of sobriety can be even more meaningful than one decade’s observance. All events deserve some attention to mark those times. They bring us to attention. In our humility we accept the attention and we give attention to others.

Today I will take note of important life events and will plan to mark them with appropriate rituals.

**************************************************

~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~

God loves us so much that whatever fills our minds is what God thinks we want.

~ Dudley Martineau ~

What do we commonly dwell on? For some of us, it’s how we fail to measure up to our expectations. Exaggerating and dwelling on our imperfections keep us stuck.

Sponsors tell us that God gives us what we think we want, but how does that work? Does whatever we hold in our mind become real? Carefully reviewing what has happened may con- vice us of this. Many experiences we dreaded indeed materialized. Just as often, fantasies we seldom dared to dream didn’t come our way.

While it’s true that there is much over which we have no control, the thoughts we dwell on are within our power. Every thought we harbor is a direct communication to God. We will experience what we keep asking for through the thoughts we send to God.

God is listening to every thought I have today. I will get what I want.

**************************************************

~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~

I want to stop acting out

I had been sober and stable for a while and it felt great. But then recently I had a lapse. Almost before I was aware of it, almost without thinking, I became very upset and then acted out.

I was nervous but I brought this up at my group anyway. In the discussion, I learned that urges usually weaken in just a few minutes. (Could I practice waiting them out? Could I learn a relaxation technique?) I also learned that to avoid lapses that can turn into slips, to avoid overreacting, it helps to know what I am feeling at any given time and to know what pushes my buttons.

At some point today I will take a few minutes to get relaxed and find out what I am feeling.

*************************************************

~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~

God setteth the solitary in families.

~ Psalms 68:6 ~

There are so many sides to all of us. It’s not just a matter of “good” or “bad.”

Perhaps this is most true within our own family. Whoever makes up our family — whether it’s our children, parents, spouse, or friends — the feelings we have are often intense and contradictory.

Some of our relationships are strained. Some are improving. Where there is active addiction, everything often seems hopeless. Feelings change from day to day.

Our families can be the source of our greatest joys and our greatest pain. But in recovery, we are ready — body, mind, and spirit — to find balance in our lives. We are healthy again, able to see more clearly the shades of gray — the many sides that most people have. Now, we are learning not to think of people as “good” or “bad,” but to understand, love and accept them, and ourselves, as we are.

Today let me focus on how much I care about my family and how I can tell them I care.

**************************************************

~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~

Only through our connectedness to others can we really know and enhance the self. And only through working on the self can we begin to enhance our connectedness to others.

~ Harriet Goldhor Lemer ~

How many times do you compare yourself to others and think, “I’ll never be good enough.” When you look at others and recognize their strengths, but then look at yourself and see only your weaknesses, you are creating a form of comparative measurement in which the worth of others rises while your self-confidence drops. By the same token, if you choose to look only at the faults of others as a way of boosting your self-confidence, you are judging your own self-worth through a false comparison.

When you can enjoy your life without comparing it to the life of others, you can develop a greater connection to those around you. You can learn from them and use their experiences to influence yours in positive ways. The greater your ability is to forge connections with others, the more you will be able to see how much you share in common with them.

When you can look at your own strengths and see your I own value, and look at others in the same way, you have i the opportunity to build a shared experience with them.

Today I will not compare myself to others, but connect with them.

**************************************************

~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~

I have accepted fear as a part of life—specifically the fear of change . . . I have gone ahead despite the pounding in the heart that says: turn back. . . .

~ Erica Jong ~

There comes a time in every horror movie when we know something bad is going to happen. We can feel the tension and the pounding of our hearts, and we may want to scream at the actors to alert them of danger. But that's only a movie.

We will feel fear whenever we see darkness and not light. We will feel fear whenever we imagine someone or something is out to get us. Before the program, our lives were filled with many real dangers, yet we may not have seen them as real. Today our lives can be filled with safety, security, and harmony, if we see and face real dangers and not imaginary ones.

Life isn't a horror movie where danger is always lurking around the corner. There isn't some big monster out to grab us. The only fears we have tonight are those that spring forth from the shadows of the unknown.

Tonight I can remember my fears are based on making changes in myself for the better. It's okay to be afraid, as long as I don' t let this fear rule—and ruin—my life.

**************************************************

~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~

Admitting unmanageability

“What do you mean, ‘unmanageable’?” we ask when we first come into the program. (And we are surprised at the smiling faces and suppressed chuckles.) We have been living with our delusions for so long that we really believe everything is okay—or will be okay next week. We simply can’t see how out of control our lives truly are: angry creditors, unemployment, separation or divorce, health problems.

Some of these situations were ridiculous, others tragic—and still we fantasized that we were in control. After a period of time in the program, however, living with them seems hard to imagine. But if we still think we have control, we need to ask for help in facing our delusions and our tomorrow-will-be-better syndrome.

Have I turned the management of my life over to God?

Higher Power, help me to truly accept Step One.

I will look at what is unmanageable in my life today by

God help me to stay clean and sober to day!

**************************************************

~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~

I don't think of all the misery, but of all the beauty that still remains.

~ ANNE FRANK ~

Newcomer

How can I forgive my parents and other people who shaped my childhood? If I'd gotten what I needed when I was young, I wouldn't have to go through all this stuff I'm facing now.

Sponsor

In the process of looking back at our past, we see the circumstances of our childhood in a clear light. We see how we reacted to situations that weren't of our making. We see that we did whatever we could to survive intact; we developed our own particular strategies and strengths. Today, we may feel as if all we can do is to assign blame to others and feel anger and resentment. We may not be ready to forgive people who harmed us. If this is the case, we can acknowledge it by saying, "Today, I'm not able to forgive ¬_____.” Forgiveness can't be forced. However, we needn't assume that we will never feel it.

Once we've looked honestly at our past, we can accept that we have survived it, and that we can take the actions necessary to be restored to wholeness. One such action is to become willing to forgive ourselves, whether or not we're ready to forgive others. We can forgive ourselves for everything we wish we had done differently and for whatever qualities in ourselves we've ignored or rejected. Forgiving ourselves is a necessity.

Today, I am grateful for my life and for my capacity to heal.

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~ THE EYE OPENER ~

In their first efforts to grasp the Program, the new men are very frequently at a loss as to how to begin. They feel they have been so wrong in their attitude toward God and man that it appears that they have a multitude of things to do, when actually it can to a large degree be combined into one short sentence—act toward your fellow man as though God were watching and toward God as though man were watching.

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~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~

Celtic Morning Prayer

This morning, as I kindle the fire upon my hearth, I pray that the flame of God's love may burn in my heart, and the hearts of all I meet today.

I pray that no envy or anger, no hatred or fear, may smother the flame.

I pray that indifference and apathy, contempt and pride, may not pour like cold water on the fire.

Instead, may the spark of God's love light the love in my heart, that it may burn brightly throughout the day.

And may I warm those who are lonely, whose hearts are cold and lifeless, so that all may know the comfort of Gods love.

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~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~

THE TRUE WITNESS

THE NINTH COMMANDMENT

Thou shalt not bear false witness against thy neighbour (Exodus 20:16).

First, the obvious meaning is very important although it is only the beginning—do not tell lies about people.

We have to apply this principle of not bearing false witness right throughout our lives. It is very important to practice because whatever you say about another person will happen to you, yourself. If you lie about another person—that is an unpleasant word but I am using it because it is the right word—someone will lie about you. Jesus says so in the seventh chapter of Matthew, verses one and two:

Judge not, that ye be not judged.

For with what judgment ye judge, ye shall be judged: and with what measure ye mete, it shall be measured to you again.

However, the fundamental meaning of this commandment, "Thou shalt not bear false witness," is that you always express what you are. You cannot be one thing and express another. Emerson says, "What you are shouts so loudly that I cannot hear what you say." We are always witnessing to what we are. So again, "Thou shalt not" really means "You cannot"—you cannot permanently bear false witness.

The true witness is the full expression of God's man. You will be bearing true witness to your neighbor when you are regenerated in soul. What does regeneration mean? It means the building of a new soul, not correcting the old one. When you change the soul, automatically the flesh changes, the skin changes, the blood vessels and the nerves and the bones change. But regeneration must begin with a change in the soul, not with anything in the outer world.

When we really know these things, we shall be bearing true witness.

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~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~

Be the First

I walked up to an old monk and asked him, "What is the audacity of humility?" Do you know what his answer was? "To be the first to say 'I love you."'

~ Father Theophane, Tales of a Magic Monastery ~

One of my favorite little-known movies is Secret Admirer, in which a teenage girl sends an unsigned love letter to a male friend she has a crush on. He guesses the letter is from another girl and sends a romantic reply to her. When the letter falls into his father's night-school accounting book, Dad surmises it was put there by his teacher, to whom he makes overtures. To retaliate, the boy's mom sets out to date the teacher's husband. You can imagine the web of convoluted relationships that unfurl in the wake of one unsigned note!

Finally, the girl who originally sent the letter despairs of ever receiving the boy's affection and sets off on an ocean voyage. Just as she's about to leave, the boy figures out the letter was from her and realizes he loves her, too. He speeds to the dock to try to stop her, only to find her ship making its way out of the harbor. At the top of his lungs, he shouts, "I love you!"

The girl shouts back, "I love you, too!" and each dives into the water to meet for a long-overdue kiss.

If we are unwilling to make a stand for our love, we create all kinds of aberrations and convolutions, until the universe forces us to tell the truth about who we are and what we feel. While it may seem safer to wait for someone else to say "I love you," we empower ourselves and bestow a great gift when we're willing to be the first one to say it. I tell many people, "I love you"—not just romantic interests, but friends, teachers, co-workers, and people I have a sense of kinship with. If I feel it, I say it. "I love you" does not have to mean romance or sex. It may just mean, "I love you," the three words that everyone wants to hear but not everyone is willing to say first. Be true to your heart, and you will not want for love.

Give me the courage to be a great lover.

I am powerful in my love, and I express it fearlessly.

[bluidkiti]

August 10

Step by Step

"I did not know that I had no power over alcohol, that I, alone and unaided, could not stop; that I was on a downgrade, tearing along at full speed with all my brakes gone, and that the end would be a total smash-up, death or insanity. I had already feared insanity for a long time ...I was not just drunk, I was crazy." - Alcoholics Anonymous, 3rd Edition, 1976, "They Stopped in Time," Ch. 13 ("Stars Don't Fall"), p 408.

Today, let me not forget that drinking propelled me not into mere drunkenness but into a blackened fog that defies any definition of responsible conduct. As such, my recovery hinges not only on total abstinence but also on spiritual and emotional repair of the dysfunctional thought and behavioral patterns that were either acquired by my drinking or worsened by it. And, even if I tell myself I am still unconvinced of a higher power, let me thank whatever force pulled me back from the "crazy" to find this program and let me not claim "credit" for finding it alone. Likewise, just as I did not come into the program on my own strength, let me accept that not drinking also cannot depend on my own strength. May I cling to whatever it was that rescued me so that I can progress in the program and in sobriety. Today, let me remember that I am doomed to repeat my past if I don't learn from it, and the most important lesson that I have is to continue trusting whatever force salvaged me from "crazy." And our common journey continues. Step by step. - Chris M.

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~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~

A SELFISH PROGRAM

A person shows their true self by how much they need other people.

~ Anonymous ~

What giving we have discovered in our Fellowship! From the very first meeting, we received an outstretched hand that offered us help. People gave freely and asked nothing in return. We, who had known so much taking, could hardly believe what we experienced. It just didn't seem real.

The reality is no put-on. There is a spirit of selfless fellowship in our Program. But the truth is that those who are giving are also keeping. The gem they are holding onto is their recovery. Only those who give what they have found away can keep it.

Every time we share with another human being, we add something to our spiritual bank account, allowing us to draw on it when extra demands are made upon our courage. In the measure in which we share our burdens, they become lighter.

Imagine people saving their lives by giving them away! Oh, that I can only be so selfish!

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~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~

In every marriage more than a week old, there are grounds far divorce. The trick is to find, and continue to find, grounds for marriage.

~ Robert Anderson ~

What is the purpose of a loving partnership? It is to enjoy the relationship. We reach adulthood with only the tools and expectations we learned as children about close relationships. Those childhood experiences, good or bad, are what we unconsciously play out unless we continue to develop. The intensity of adult love and passion can carry us into deep water, beyond our ability to trust, honor, and partner with someone. When we look at what we are asking from our partner, it is often the thing we would ask of the perfect parent.

Now it is time to become adult and carry our share. Rather than focus on what we want in a partner, we need to learn to be the best partner we can be. Each partner sets the standards for a good relationship. We cannot allow ourselves to say, “I only act this way because my partner acts that way.” When we don’t give that excuse, when we expect the best of ourselves regardless of our partner, we set the standard that we seek, and the relationship changes.

Today I will be the best partner I can be, regardless of what my partner does.

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~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~

Life is short; eat dessert first.

~ Joy Sommers ~

Some say that attitude is everything. Many of us have endured abusive families, unreasonable bosses, and the uncertainty of illness. But not all of us carry the pain and fear of the past into the present. We have found new patterns of thinking and behaving now that we’ve come to this program for help. Here we cultivate the attitude that we each are doing the best we can with the knowledge we have. We can forgive ourselves for our transgressions.

When we decide to let go of experiences that can’t be changed, we find so much more joy in the present. The decision to seek joy and love now is like eating dessert first. The quickening pace of our lives as we age is reason enough to grasp every moment and savor its joy.

Being more light-hearted today promises me memories worth savoring.

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~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~

I want to face my anxieties

I used to always think something bad was going to happen. It was less a thought than a general feeling. I wasn't aware of it all of the time—but it was there. I wanted to prevent it, but I didn't know how. I didn't really know what to prevent. Worrying like that made it harder for me to relax, harder for me to get anything done.

One day I finally got tired of worrying so much, realized I needed help, and contacted my counselor. First, she reassured me that many folks in recovery from addiction experience anxiety. She said it might subside over time, but that I could talk with a psychiatrist if I wanted to. Then she taught me a helpful relaxation exercise that I could practice at home, whether I consulted a doctor or not. Just acknowledging my anxiety helped me feel better that day-just as it does today.

I will make a list of what I am worried about today and trust that I can get help.

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~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~

Forgiveness is better than revenge; for forgiveness is the sign of a gentle nature, but revenge the sign of a savage nature.

~ Epictetus ~

We remember how it felt when we plotted revenge against past enemies. If we are honest with ourselves we probably will remember feelings of anger, power, control, and frustration. If the actual vengeful act was carried out, we probably then experienced more anger, more frustration, and more pain.

These feelings have no place in a successful recovery. They inhibit our growth by keeping alive our past guilt, envy, and anger. Now that we have come to learn the wisdom of a Twelve Step approach to life, we can see the folly of revenge. This cannot be positive when our feelings are so destructive.

Forgiveness grants us a different kind of power. It gives us a chance to experience kindness, understanding, and humility. We become gentle in nature and more able to use our minds for positive change. We can recognize the destructive powers of vengeful thoughts, and work to change. We can understand why people have hurt us, and learn to forgive. In forgiveness, we heal, and we are healed.

Today let me build a friendship with forgiveness.

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~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~

To change one’s life: Start immediately. Do it flamboyantly. No exceptions.

~ William James ~

Did you know that a mayfly, an aquatic insect, has a life span that ranges from thirty minutes to nearly a day? So when you hear people say, “Life is short,” it may seem to be a false statement when you compare the life span of a human being to other living creatures.

You may live for many more years, but each of these years is made up of precious moments. Squander these moments, put off doing something that needs immediate attention, or take for granted that you will have plenty of time to do what you need to do in the future, and you may find—at some point in your life—that you have wasted the time you had.

Strive to live each day as if it were your one and only beginning. Imagine that you are like the mayfly, with only a single twenty-four-hour period in which to fully appreciate your life and to take care of all of those things that need tending. Start now on your new beginning, and you will be that much farther down that road tomorrow.

I only have one today. How can I make it into a new beginning?

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~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~

. . . We look upon Niagara and say, wonderful—thinking nothing of all that makes its glory and majesty possible. We look upon a man or woman of character; we are lost in admiration, but we omit to consider the thousand influences, conscious and unconscious, which have gone to make up the result.

~ Stephen S. Wise ~

We are molded and influenced by countless people, beginning with our parents. Relatives, friends, lovers, co-workers, and neighbors all play a role in making us who we are.

We may wish to blame others for who we are when we see only our negative sides. But we have positive sides, too, that may be admired. And just like our negative sides, people help shape our positive sides.

A lake at the base o[a mountain range gets its origin from the highest mountain, when its snowy cap is melted by the sun. This one trickle of melted snow expands into a stream, and then a river, by the countless trickles that feed into it. We, too, are like that lake. We are beautiful as we stand alone. Yet we must remember all the energy that contributed to our beauty.

Tonight I can be grateful for the people who have had a positive influence on me. I am beautiful because they showed me I am.

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~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~

Adapting to the world

“Live only in today; don’t worry about to-morrow.” That’s a fine ambition, we may think, but what does it mean? “Living in today” means dealing only with what is at hand now and the available courses of action.

If we are worrying about matters in the past or future, or out of our realm, we can disengage ourselves from them. We cannot bend the world to our will.

Am I learning to fit myself to the world?

Higher Power, help me remember to conquer myself, not the world.

Today I will practice adapting myself to whatever happens by

God help me to stay clean and sober to day!

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~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~

Nursing her wrath to keep it warm . . .

~ ROBERT BURNS ~

Newcomer

A friend of mine treated me badly in the past. I feel uncomfortable whenever I think of her. Do I have to forgive her? Does she belong on my amends list?

Sponsor

Anger is a common human feeling; we can discharge it in a variety of ways that don't hurt us or anyone else, then move on. But grudges long and deeply held are something else. Obsession with what others have done poses a threat to our recovery.

Suppose we've taken an honest look at our own role and know that we ourselves did no harm. We may even have reviewed the conflict with a sponsor therapist, or spiritual adviser and are convinced that we're not deluding ourselves. We don't make amends to those we haven't harmed.

Relief comes only if we understand and accept that there are sick and suffering people, both in and out of recovery. We don't have to tolerate further harm, but we can choose not to pursue revenge or confrontation with those who are deluded, spiritually ill, or undeveloped. We can pray for their healing, as well as our own.

Today, I entrust the healing of all forms of sickness to my Higher Power.

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~ THE EYE OPENER ~

As it is almost impossible to remain entirely anonymous, our membership carries with it grave responsibility.

Once we were drunks and we “ain't any more.” All your friends and neighbors know it. Sooner or later they will ask you about it and if you answer them at all it is probable that you will have to admit your membership in our Fellowship.

We will be watched constantly thereafter, for AA is on trial with a hopeful yet sceptical world, and as we succeed or fail so will AA succeed or fail.

Guard your anonymity well, if you can, but, if you can’t—then guard AA well.

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~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~

Surrender to God's Will

O Lord, You know what is best for me.
Let this or that be done as You please.
Give what You will,
How much You will,
When You will.

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~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~

GOD'S ABUNDANCE FOR YOUR NEED

THE TENTH COMMANDMENT

Thou shalt not covet . . . any thing that is thy neighbour's (Exodus 20:17).

There are several phrases concerning coveting, You are not to covet your neighbor's house, nor his wife, nor his manservant, nor his maidservant, nor his cattle, nor anything that is his. Much of the evil in the world is caused by wanting something to which one is not entitled. Moses knew what covetousness does to us in what we call today the unconscious or the subconscious.

Coveting affects the soul of man. Even if your coveting never leads you to take anything that does not belong to you, it undermines and ultimately rots your soul. It shuts you off from God. Why? Because to covet something means that you do not understand the Law of Being. You do not understand that whatever you are getting or lacking is the outpicturing and expression of your consciousness. Until you understand that you cannot be saved.

There is not anything in the world that you ever conceived of that God has not got in abundance. God's supply is infinite, and to envy someone else because he seems to have more is to deny your own contact with God.

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~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~

The Lord in the Tree

Pray as if all depends on God, and act as if all depends on you.

~ George Washington Carver ~

Two men were walking in a field when a bull charged them. One man scampered up a tree while the other stood defiantly in the bull's path. "Get up here, you idiot!" called the man in the branches.

"The Lord will protect me!" retorted the other man.

The bull butted the man vehemently and went on his way triumphantly, leaving the obstinate fellow dazed and confused. The first man came down from the tree to help his bruised friend.

“I thought for sure the Lord would help me!'' complained the injured man.

"He tried," answered his friend. "Didn't you hear Him calling you from the tree?"

A request for help from an unseen power often manifests itself through earthy channels. God's wonders are not restricted to supernatural miracles. Often miracles occur through people and tangible messages here on earth.

If you are looking for an answer to a question or problem, you may receive it through physical means. Someone may hand you a book, invite you to a lecture. Or speak a phrase that resonates within you. You may feel a tingling in your spine, get goose bumps, or simply feel a sense of clarity or fulfillment. Be sensitive to your feelings and energies when such a sign is presented. The word angel means "messenger,” and your message may come anytime through any means stay awake to listen!

Help me stay open to hear Your voice. Let me receive Your answer and act upon it.

I act upon the messages Spirit sends me.

[bluidkiti]

August 11

Step by Step

Today, while I did not choose to be alcoholic, I have a choice to be a non-drinking one. Admitting in Step One that I am powerless over alcohol does not mean I am doomed to an alcoholic death from accident, illness or a lengthy prison sentence for a drunk-related felony. In my gift from God of choice, I have the power to overcome alcohol by rendering it powerless over me by choosing abstinence and recovery. While the 12 Steps impress that I and I alone am responsible for my alcoholism, I and I alone also am responsible for my recovery. Its success or failure rests with no one and nothing but me. Ironically, while the program also impresses the powerlessness I have over an array of things from alcohol to character defects, I am in control of not fueling that powerlessness by choosing not to be defeated by it. Today, I can assert my power over powerlessness, and my power is in the 12 Steps. And our common journey continues. Step by step. - Chris M.

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~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~

KING OR QUEEN BABY

The first 30 years of my childhood nearly killed me.

~ Anonymous ~

King or Queen Baby attitudes and behavior are a block to recovery. Many of us have carried into our adult lives childish egos and immature attitudes. We won't give up our child-like needs of control or our desire that all our needs be met. An attitude of I want what I want when I want it, and motives of power, attention, and instant pleasure have no place in our Program.

Recovery teaches us ways to deal with our scared little child and at the same time allows us to nurture the child within us all. When we act like babies, we think we are the center of the world, and believe that status, fame, money, and beauty are the most important things in life. When we admitted defeat, we needed to put our childish behavior behind us. We changed from believing in Baby Power to believing in a Higher Power.

I will continue to put away my babyish behavior by working on self-discovery, self-acceptance, self-discipline, and self-forgiveness.

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~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~

Too often we enjoy the comfort of opinion without the discomfort of thought.

~ John F. Kennedy ~

Recovery from addiction and codependency goes beyond the removal of the substance or the object of our obsession. Stopping our use is the necessary start to recovery. But we can stop using and still continue the thoughts and behavior that set us up for the disease. The biggest downfall for us all is our ego. We have a powerful inner drive to get what we want. To justify our behavior, we may impulsively try to control our surroundings and others. We say that a little bit of the old behavior won’t hurt anyone, or we are smarter than others, or our behavior is only for the good of everyone.

We have to be fearless in our self-honesty. And, like dishonesty, honesty builds upon itself: one new self-admission leads to another as we follow this spiritual path. We learn that true humility actually arises from high self-esteem. We learn to rely on our Higher Power to take care of us and guide us. Our development as grown-up men continues for our lifetime.

Today I continue to be more honest with myself than I used to be and continue to behave in healthy ways.

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~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~

It is as blessed to receive as it is to give and a lot harder.

~ Ruth Humlecker ~

We think we are unworthy. Compliments on our appearance, praise for our work, strokes for our efforts to help others often go unappreciated by us. Why can’t we hear them? Why don’t we take them in? No doubt it’s because of our shame for not being perfect. None of us are perfect, but all of us think that perfection is possible and we have lulled the test. How futile the thought. How harmful the result.

We are adept at many things; we are perfect at none. That’s a fact of human life. But we are good enough, providing we do our best and rely on God for direction. Coming to believe this is perhaps our most important lesson in life.

If someone blesses me with a compliment today, I will quietly listen and believe it is true.

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~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~

I can read to help myself recover

When I got into my Twelve Step program, I was told that to recover from addiction, it was important to go to meetings regularly and read the Big Book—the textbook for AA. I got to the meetings, but with my psychiatric illness I couldn't concentrate enough to read, at least at first. But with the help of my psychiatrist, eventually I was able to start using the program literature as a recovery tool.

I never used to read a lot, but reading the literature these days is worth it. As suggested, reading helps me accept my addiction (and my emotional illness). It also teaches me ways to recover, ways to feel relief. I read a little each day and feel connected to others in recovery. In reading I am developing a good habit.

I will spend ten minutes today reading recovery materials.

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~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~

A child is fed with milk and praise.

~ Mary Lamb ~

When we were children, we probably had needs that were not met. Maybe we needed more physical affection — maybe we got too much of the wrong kind. Maybe no one encouraged us the way we think they should have. That little boy or girl who needed something is still in us. Even though we’re grown, that history, that past, is still part of us and we need to nurture our child within.

We can do this by remembering we’re no longer helpless, and by taking action to make life good for ourselves. We’re at a perfect place to change our lives — our spirits, our minds, and our bodies are healthy, safe, and sound. We can rekindle the joys of childhood. Perhaps some childlike play, a hobby, or music will do it. Even if we think we’re no good at singing or drawing, the more we do it, the more we let ourselves enjoy it, and the closer we grow to that inner child. We can’t do anything about our childhood, but we can, at last, get the love we need — from ourselves and others.

Today let me take time to enjoy some play.

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~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~

So many people in this world have come to believe that they are locked into their life pattern... yet, new perception choices can truly set us free.

~ Chelle Thompson ~

Sometimes the transition of letting go of the person you once were can be unsettling and highly emotional. You may even feel at times as if you have lost your identity. As you learn more about your addiction, develop greater awareness about the behaviors you exhibited when you were using, pray to a Higher Power—perhaps for the first time in years—or hear yourself admitting or saying things you might have never aired in the past, you may feel that you have no idea of who you are anymore, i Just as you may feel unsettled with the “new you,” so too may others feel off-balance in their interactions with you. Recovery is a bit like wearing a new pair of shoes for the first time. Before they are broken in, you will be conscious of something that feels quite different.

But being out of touch with who you once were is not necessarily a bad thing. You are still somebody. Recovery Is simply giving you an “upgrade” so that you can refine your self-image in ways that make you feel better about yourself.

Who I am becoming represents a magnificent work in progress.

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~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~

Listen, or thy tongues will keep thee deaf.

~ Native American proverb ~

The Tower of Babel was so named because all the people who were working on it were speaking different languages all at the same time. Construction didn't succeed because no one listened to one another. With all the babbling, it was as if they were deaf.

Most of us have the ability to hear. Yet we don’t make full use of it when we choose to talk constantly, bending someone else's ear as we endlessly babble on. We don't use our ability to listen at meetings or to family members or our lover as well as we could. We can become so wrapped up in listening to ourselves that we can't hear anyone else.

It's our choice to remain deaf to other voices but our own. This self-imposed deafness can deprive us of valuable experience and knowledge from those working on the same issues as we are. To improve our hearing, we need to shut our mouths and open our ears. To hear other voices can be music to our ears!

I can stop being deal n other voices around me. There is a symphony of strength and serenity if I only stop to hear it!

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~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~

Listening to the heart

What we truly want for ourselves comes from the heart, not from the head. Our head only thinks it knows what’s important.

Because it brought relief from some of our pain, we thought addiction was what we wanted. But eventually our heart told us that addiction is painful and that relief is in recovery, sobriety, and the fellowship.

Am I learning to think twice and see what my heart is saying?

Higher Power, help me to listen to my heart when matters are most important.

Today I will pay close attention to my feelings by

God help me to stay clean and sober to day!

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~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~

"I can forgive, but I cannot forget" is only another way of saying, "I cannot forgive."

~ HENRY WARD BEECHER ~

Newcomer

Won't forgiving those who've done real harm make me a weaker person? I don't want to deny the real evils that exist.

Sponsor

The best of us are flawed; the worst of us have some redeeming features. Getting to know ourselves involves the willingness to face all aspects of our character-our generosity and selfishness, courage and fear, open and closed places.

If we can see ourselves with objectivity, then we're better equipped to see others, too, as they really are. We can imaginatively experience another person's pain or fear, and sense intuitively what he or she is trying to protect. We may be able to stop taking another's behavior toward us so personally, once we understand it as part of a defense system that was in place long before we entered the picture.

The word "compassion" means “feeling with”—sharing in another's suffering. Compassion doesn’t diminish us. Exactly the opposite: it expands our hearts. When we can feel compassion, both for ourselves and for others, we experience just how powerful the action of forgiveness is.

Today, I clean the house of my spirit. I no longer have to carry the weight of others' wrongs.

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~ THE EYE OPENER ~

None of us has ever personally known a person who died and surely went to Heaven. As all men are sinners, we are told, then it is assumed that even the saintliest of men have some hidden sins in their past, either of omission or commission.

We do know of many cases however, of people who have died the living death of Alcoholism and who have come back to make a little Heaven here on earth for themselves and all those around them.

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~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~

Quiet Day

This is another day, O Lord.
I don't know what it will bring for I have not scheduled anything
lf I am to sit still, help me to sit quietly.
If I am to rest, help me rest patiently.
And if I am to do nothing, help me do it serenely.
For it is Your will for me to be comfortably quiet.

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~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~

I AM THAT I AM

And . . . there were thunders and lightnings, and a thick cloud . . . (Exodus19:16).

These are dramatic expressions of the change of consciousness as we move away from the common things of life to the higher things.

In these days of the Exodus, the condition of the outer world answered very quickly to man's thoughts because people believed it was possible. Moses took his people across the Red Sea by the power of thought, and he was able to do that because in those days people believed in the power of thought. They believed that God could take them across the Red Sea dry shod, and He did.

Moses had the true knowledge of God from his father's people, the Hebrews. It was the historical mission of the Hebrews to teach that God is not a limited, corporeal being, but incorporeal, infinite, divine mind.

Moses saw clearly the unity of God and man, and the unity of man and man. He got more than a flash of what we call the cosmic consciousness. That was his illumination. Then he realized that he must give this to humanity.

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~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~

God Meant It for Good

Keep your faith in beautiful things; in the sun when it is hidden, in the Spring when it is gone.

~ Roy R. Gibson ~

The Bible tells of Joseph who, because he was his father's favorite son, incurred the jealousy of his brothers. To get rid of Joseph, they threw him in a desert pit and left him to die. But a caravan came along and took Joseph to Egypt where, because of his spiritual insight, he was elevated to the position of advisor to the Pharaoh.

When famine fell upon Joseph's homeland, his brothers came to Egypt to ask for food, and they were sent to see none other than Joseph. Astounded to find him alive, and feeling guilty over their attempt to do away with him, they begged for forgiveness. "Not necessary," Joseph answered. "You meant it for evil, but God meant it for good."

Although Joseph's brothers did not recognize it, they were participating in his destiny for good. Similarly, when life hands us challenges or abuses, it may actually be moving us into a position where we gain greater good than if the incidents had not happened.

Instead of asking, "How could life be so cruel as to victimize me like this?" a more empowering question is, "How can I use this experience to grow in strength and become even more powerful to manifest what I truly want?"

In a Gallup Poll, 87 percent of those questioned stated that their most challenging experiences turned out to be among the most helpful. Consider the possibility that even though someone may seem to mean an act for evil, God means it for good.

I pray to use Your vision today. Remove any sense of smallness and victimization from my heart, and help me make my experiences work on my behalf.

I am the creator of my experience. I take what I have and make what I want.

[bluidkiti]

August 12

Step by Step

Today, I cannot neglect those people who stuck it out through my drinking days, going on blind faith or hope that I might still get myself together. But in the process of my active disease, the people around me may well have gone through their own private hell and, in the more tragic consequences, may have become sicker than I. While they are no more responsible for either my alcoholism or addiction, they also are not responsible for my recovery. But my recovery must acknowledge that my alcoholism was not a "one-victim" consequence, and for those people who were victims of my drinking I owe my gratitude and respect - and deepest regrets. And my single strongest amend to them may well be my continued sobriety. Today, I will acknowledge and be grateful for my Al-Anon, or the many of them, and I will be there for them in their private journeys as they were there for me. And our common journey continues. Step by step. - Chris M.

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~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~

THE BRIGHT SIDE

You grow up the day you have your first real laugh at yourself.

~ Ethel Barrymore ~

One of the most popular identifications of how important laughter is to members of the Fellowship is that "laughter is the best medicine." So many of us lived only on the dark side of life before the Program. We experienced healing when we were able to lighten up and laugh.

We often wanted to cry bitterly over what we had become. But we pretended to the world that everything was fine by laughing at everything, being sarcastic, and making a joke out of even the worst things we did. We were afraid that if we started to cry we'd never stop.

In recovery, we find we don't have to struggle to avoid shedding tears. Those tears come from humility, trust, joy, and faith and we can laugh with gratitude over the changes we find in ourselves and in those we have come to love.

I am no longer afraid to laugh or cry. I am able to accept myself as human.

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~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~

God is like a mirror. The mirror never changes but everybody who looks at it sees something different

~ quoted by Rabbi Harold S. Kushner ~

In their wisdom, the founders of Alcoholics Anonymous struggled with how to express the spirituality at the core of the program. They landed on the phrase "God as we understood Him.” That phrase is another way to express the idea of God as a mirror. Even those who try to define God will find that words cannot adequately describe the ultimate creator; instead they place false limits on God.

When we face God, we don’t see ourselves as we do in a mirror, but we see beyond ourselves. God provides us with a pathway out of our willful ego-based mind and expands our understanding as participants in the universe of creation. The awe and reverence and meaning of our spiritual lives call us to align ourselves with something far beyond our immediate pleasure and self- satisfying will.

Today I am grateful for the spiritual awakening that this program gives me.

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~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~

A big part of my “conversion” has been full acceptance of myself, warts and all.

~ Mary Zink ~

Every day is a fresh opportunity to love ourselves a little bit more and judge ourselves a little bit less. Growing up with overly critical parents, as many of us did, has made it hard to believe we’re okay. But here, in a Twelve Step program, we receive the affirmation we deserve on a daily basis.

We are never going to be perfect. We can’t even define what that means. Perhaps God is perfect. Elements of nature appear perfect. But we humans are flawed. And yet we are all okay, just as we are. Certainly, we can improve our condition. Doing an inventory will reveal the substantive changes we might make in ourselves. It’s good to remember, however, that we are loved unconditionally by our Higher Power and our friends. Learning to accept and appreciate who we are is the most productive lesson we’ll ever learn.

I am worthy and lovable. My belief will grow with practice.

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~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~

My sponsor still cares about me

First I had a slip with my addiction, which then led to a setback with my psychiatric illness. I'm missing work these days and my family is angry. I don't think they understand my illnesses very well or know what to do. (Sometimes I feel the same way.) I know they don't like what is happening and right now I don’t think they like me. (I don’t like myself a lot either.)

Maybe this is the way it has to be for a while. It doesn't feel good, but at least I still have my dual recovery sponsor to talk with. I couldn’t handle all this alone. He listens to me; he does not judge; he tell me he cares (and I feel it). This is what I need—a person I can go to at any time for support, no matter what happens. And for this gift I am very grateful.

When I check in with my sponsor today, I will thank him for all his support.

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~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~

God does not ask your ability or your inability.
He asks only your availability.

~ Mary Kay Ash ~

Reasons for gratitude are easy to find. If we’re breathing, we can think of people hooked up to oxygen tanks. If our skin is smooth, we can remember people suffering in bum units. If we ran into a store for a minute to buy a gallon of milk today, we can remember the long lines people in other cultures endure for the same errand.

And we exist! That alone is miraculous! We have survived a chronic, often fatal disease. For many of us, life is better than before addiction, because we’ve found a new appreciation for life, a new depth and peace, a new calmness. And we can continue to grow in recovery each beautiful day that is given to us. Today babies across the world are being born, bringing millions of hopeful and exciting possibilities into our world.

Now, we’re ready to take our place in the sun as one of the world’s new hopeful possibilities. We live and breathe and feel and think, and we are watched over by a Higher Power who loves us and has a plan for our lives.

Today let me look for the good in my world and be thankful.

**************************************************

~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~

Diseases of the soul are more dangerous and numerous than those of the body.

~ Cicero ~

An Irish proverb advises, “A good laugh and a long sleep are the best cures in the doctor’s book.” A Danish proverb says, “Fresh air impoverishes the doctor.” And an Arabic proverb states, “He who has health has hope; and he who has hope has everything.”

What each of these proverbs focuses on is the idea that your overall health can be measured—and affected—by more than just the attention you pay to your physical needs. Without a healthy mental outlook, emotional stability, and regular attention to your spiritual development, your health can be affected. Stress, loneliness, depression, and a sense of disconnection from life can chip away at even the healthiest of bodies.

You can begin today to take small steps that will help to increase your overall health. Set aside time to meditate, pray, or simply clear your mind from the hustle and bustle of the day. Volunteer to help those who are less fortunate. Spend time with your children, your friends, or a loved one. Make these things part of your daily routine, and you may find that you not only feel better about yourself, but you also feel better on the inside.

Today I will pay attention to my mental, emotional, and spiritual health.

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~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~

The biggest lesson I've learned . . . was that if you have all the fresh water you want to drink and all the food you want to eat, you ought never to complain about anything.

~ Eddie Rickenbacker ~

For almost twenty-one days, Eddie Rickenbacker floated aimlessly in a life raft in the Pacific Ocean. That experience helped him see life differently than most people, because he learned to focus on the basics of happiness and contentment—food and water.

Are we satisfied with what we have, or do we believe happiness is achieved after we have a new appliance, a new car, a different house, more money, a better partner, or two more years of recovery? Are we always looking to the next thing we need before we'll be satisfied, rather than appreciating the basics around us?

Keep it Simple reminds us that we need very little to survive comfortably. Food to eat, a place to live, a way to make money, and a belief in a Higher Power are some of the things our early settlers gave great thanks for. Have we given thanks today for simple things that help us stay happy, healthy, and hopeful?

Tonight, I can give thanks for the many simple blessings around me.

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~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~

Becoming virtuous

For some of us, becoming virtuous means bringing our behavior in line with a Higher Will. It means acting in line with our deepest convictions—not necessarily religious doc-trines, nor the ideas drummed into our heads in childhood, nor the beliefs of virtuous people.

For some of us, this means that we have some work to do: We must find out what we believe in, and then we must live by those beliefs.

Do I know my beliefs? Do I live by them?

Higher Power, help me discover what I truly believe in.

Today I will live my deepest beliefs by

God help me to stay clean and sober to day!

**************************************************

~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~

The more we know, the better we forgive.

MADAME DE STAEL ~

Newcomer

I can see some of the ways I harmed myself when I was active in my addiction, and I've added my own name to my amends list. How do I go about apologizing to myself? It seems absurd.

Sponsor

When it comes to making amends, “apologizing” isn’t the whole story. When we apologize, we express regret for what we've done sometimes offering an excuse or an explanation. “Amends" comes from a Latin word that means "to free from faults." When we make amends, we acknowledge what we did and then find a way to compensate or make up for it. In taking responsibility for our behavior, we change; we're free to move forward without the terrible burden of guilt.

We can begin to feel compassion for the person we were when we were active in our addiction, once we understand that we were trying to take care of ourselves in the only way we could at the time. In a sense we began making amends to ourselves the day we entered recovery. For many of us, giving up our addictive substance or behavior is the hardest thing we've done in our lives, and the most freeing.

No one can give us the feelings of worthiness and self-esteem that are part of complete recovery; we must experience them ourselves. Forgiving ourselves is essential to our healing process. If we can't forgive ourselves today, we can pray for willingness, trusting that we'll grow in generosity and tenderness toward ourselves, as well as toward others.

Today, I grow in love and compassion for myself.

**************************************************

~ THE EYE OPENER ~

Many of the uninformed non-alcoholics looked upon us of the Drinking Fraternity as lazy bums. They do not know the planning and scheming required to raise the price of a bottle when you are broke. They fail to realize that a twelve-hour shift of panhandling frequently didn't produce enough to keep us in booze, a little food and a flop for the night.

We resent the charge that we were lazy—we worked much harder and received much less appreciation for our efforts than those who were on somebody's payroll. No, it is hard work, small pay and lousy living conditions.

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~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~

Carry The Message

Dear God, I now fully realize how much the Program, You, and other people have helped me. It is my responsibility to carry this message to those who still suffer, whether they are in need of our Fellowship or are in our Fellowship and are struggling today. You have demonstrated to me that life is no longer a dead end without hope. With this gift, I am now able to help others. My spiritual progress is measured by my positive actions. God, You have only asked me to be helpful and to leave the results to You.

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~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~

TAKE GOD FOR YOUR PARTNER

Why nor organize the business of living in a big way? Why creep along, as some people do, from one tiny stepping stone to another, instead of striding out boldly? Why be content with poor health, uninteresting work, or restricted conditions, when many other people have already risen above these things?

There is a way out of limitation that never fails. It is this, take God for your partner. If you will really make God your business partner in every department of your life, you will be amazed at the quick and striking results that you will obtain. Of course, if you want God to be your partner, you will have to include Him in every corner and every phase of your life.

Most people would be thrilled to be able to go into partnership with some great industrial or financial magnate; they would feel that their future was assured. But here is a partnership with Infinite Wisdom and Infinite Power awaiting you.

I am the vine, ye are the branches: He that abideth in me, and I in him, the same bringeth forth much fruit: for without me ye can do nothing (John 15:5).

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~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~

Don’t Miss It

Carpe Diem! (Seize the Day!)

On my way to the San Francisco airport, I got caught in traffic on the Bay Bridge'. Wondering how long I would be stuck, I began to worry about missing my plane. Just having come from a restful retreat in the mountains, suddenly I felt the stressful chemistry of anxiety encroach on my body. Then an inner voice spoke: “It's one thing to miss the plane, but it's quite another to miss the moment.” Stunned, I recognized that I had just missed a moment of life. I took a few deep breaths, looked out at the springtime sun shimmering on the water, opened the window to feel the breeze, and turned on the radio to find some enjoyable music. Ah, that felt better. I could always catch another plane, but I could never catch another this moment.

All of life is right where you are. Never trade the peace of now for fear or worry. Because you carry the spark of God with you, you have the power to illuminate any time, any place.

Help me to be fully present.
Help me to find beauty where I am.

I claim the riches of the universe right where I am.

[bluidkiti]

August 13

Step by Step

"When we became alcoholics, crushed by a self-imposed crisis we could not postpone or evade, we had to fearlessly face the proposition that either God is everything or else He is nothing. God either is, or He isn't. What was our choice to be?
" ...(W)e were squarely confronted with the question of faith. We couldn't duck the issue. Some of us had already walked far over the Bridge of Reason toward the desired shore of faith. The outlines and the promise of the New Land had brought luster to tired eyes and fresh courage to flagging spirits. ...We were grateful that Reason had brought us so far. But somehow, we couldn't quite step ashore. Perhaps we had been leaning too heavily on Reason that last mile and we did not like to lose our support." - Alcoholics Anonymous, 3rd Edition, 1976, Ch 4 ("We Agnostics"), p 53.

Today, I couldn't have reasoned myself into the condition that requires recovery without some faith even if I didn't recognize it. Even now, after my baptism into the program, if I continue to resist ideas that a power called God or anything else led me into recovery, is it plausible that the same reasoning that pushed me to the edge of darkness also pulled me back? Regardless of the answer, if I still reject the possibility of a higher power or God or whatever else anyone calls a supreme being, maybe as my recovery progresses, I will at least become willing to consider there is a force stronger and greater than I. Today, I won't debunk talk about a higher power by claiming my own reason for my recovery because, after all, it was my reasoning that contributed to me becoming an alcoholic. Maybe today will be the day I finally believe that something other than myself saved me. And our common journey continues. Step by step. - Chris M.

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~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~

REALITY

Realities are far less dangerous than fantasies.

~ Anonymous ~

When we speak of being restored to sanity, we could well be speaking of restoring reality to our lives. Our addictions, compulsions, and dependencies kept us in a world of weird fantasy. Mental extremes made us think and feel unnaturally.

When intoxicated or "high," everything weird seemed to "belong," to be real and natural. The fantasy we accepted was from the realm of insanities. We accepted "fate" as our lot, but when the haze of the unreal left, we often experienced shame, guilt and regret from knowing what we had accepted.

As we found recovery and escaped the shackles of addiction, we came to realize that spiritual growth was not as hopeless for us as our experiences had led us to believe. But we had to reach for reality and reject what was fantasy. Change comes when recovery removes all of the confusion from our dream world of addiction.

Reality never changes, but my acceptance of it does. The real world is very different from the impression my addiction gave me.

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~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~

No one has completed his education who has not learned to live with an insoluble problem.

~ Edmund J. Kiefer ~

Facing, for the first time, a stone wall that we cannot change can be quite a shock. It’s a huge emotional challenge that changes us from boys to men. Some people first meet their insoluble problem in the form of the death of a loved one, others through a child with an incurable handicap, and others by way of a chronic illness or an addiction. Whatever form a man’s stone wall takes, he naturally responds first with a refusal to accept it and a search for a way around it. But when he ultimately learns to accept reality, he changes in a profound way. He has stepped into the world of adults.

We used to feel that our addiction and codependency were burdens, tragedies that we had to carry. But there is a bright side to the dark stories of our past: when we got honest about our powerlessness, we became real men.

Today I accept my powerlessness once again and feel grateful for the wisdom it has taught me.

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~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~

Laughter, like a drenching rain, settles the dust, cleans and brightens the world around us, and changes our whole perspective.

~ Jan Pishok ~

Laughter’s power is awesome. Some might say miraculous. We all know the effects of laughter, liven in the midst of frustrating circumstances, nothing seems as bleak or hopeless after being observed through the twinkling eyes of laughter.

How is it that our perspective changes after a moment or two of laughter? Does laughing shake loose the cobwebs that clutch the grim realities? All we know for certain is that nothing appears quite the same after we’ve loosened our hold on life’s dark explanations.

Laughter refreshes us. We can’t change the people we love, we can’t determine outcomes, we can’t control how God works in our lives. But we can laugh. And laughing about our experiences gives us the chance to accept them and make them work to our advantage.

Nothing is quite as serious as I make it today. Lightening up and laughing a little makes every minute easier.

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~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~

I can love myself

When I remember all the times I got high, all the junk I ate, all the sleep I lost, all the anger I kept inside (and the times I hurt myself through a rage turned inward), I realize that I have not loved myself much. It scares me to look back and imagine where I was headed.

But slowly through recovery I have begun to turn my life around, and today I am doing things differently. I am clean and sober, eating better on a regular schedule, and getting the rest I need. I'm even taking medication to help me with my psychiatric symptoms. I feel shy saying it (I guess it's just not familiar), but I care about myself today and I truly want to be healthy.

Today I will look at myself in the minor and say "I love you"—or at the very least, "I'm worth caring about."

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~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~

You are never given a wish without also being given the power to make it come true. You may have to work for it, however.

~ Richard Bach ~

Staying free of chemicals is sometimes more difficult than simply stopping. Our sobriety is a gift, but it isn’t free. To recover, we need a plan of action and a willingness to work. If we take the Twelve Steps and group them by threes, we can see that we will “give up,” “clean up,” “make up,” and “grow up.” If we suffer a setback in one area, we can work on those steps with our sponsor. Sometimes we reach another level of growth in our recovery; then we can go back and work the Steps in a new way. So we begin again, as beginners, but with all the mental skills and clarity we’ve developed in sobriety. Safe in the care of our Higher Power, we’ve begun to dream again. And our physical selves have begun to recover, too; they will take us where we want to go.

Success comes in doing, moving forward, one step at a time. When we wish for and work at sobriety, we find our possibilities are endless.

Today grant me the willingness to dedicate effort toward the gift of sobriety.

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~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~

When you come to the end of your rope, tie a knot and hang on.

~ Franklin D. Roosevelt ~

In the past, you may have attempted to use your own power to climb out of the deep, dark well of addiction. The only equipment you had to help in your escape was a frayed rope attached to a weak anchor. Even when you exerted your greatest effort to inch your way up the slippery sides of the well, the rope would unravel or the anchor would slip and you would fall back down to the bottom.

But when you are ready, the program offers a sturdy ladder that is held firmly in place by many others. The strength of this ladder offers you the opportunity to finally escape from your prison. It is up to you to make the climb.

As you draw ever closer to the top of the well, when you can fully release yourself from your addiction, you will be greeted by strong hands and encouraging words. These are the hands and voices of your rescuers, who were once trapped in that same well. They know how hard it is to make the climb. But they are committed to helping you SO you do not lose your grip or your determination.

The ladder of recovery is strong. I trust that it will hold me and lead me to a place in which I can grow.

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~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~

Nobody grows old merely by a number of years. We grow old by deserting our ideals. Years may wrinkle the shin, but to give up enthusiasm wrinkles the soul.

~ Samuel Ullman ~

Today we see more young people in the program. We may look at them and think, "lf only I had found the program at their age. I would have so much more time to live and grow."

We've heard it said, "You are as young as you feel." Although physically we may feel not so young, that phrase refers to our state of mind and the belief in our hearts. To feel younger, imagine the program has given us new life, and we can measure our age in terms of our time since recovery.

Perhaps today we are one year old or five or more. In the program we are all children, not adults. We are all learning for the first time how to walk on our own, how to speak our minds, and how to take care of ourselves. We are not old . . . we are but babes ready to learn and grow!

Tonight I can forget my chronological age and think instead of my youth in the program. I am young, with lots of time to grow.

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~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~

Preserving anonymity

Anonymity means more than just protecting fellow members from exposure or shame. It means placing principles above personalities. It means avoiding the temptation to use our recovery as a prestige point. Such self- seeking can be a serious spiritual danger.

Our program is our lifeline. We must respect it and all its members. Do I maintain anonymity at all times, in all ways?

Higher Power, help me to accept and respect the traditions of the Twelve Step program.

Today I will reflect on the tradition of anonymity by

God help me to stay clean and sober to day!

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~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~

In the course of time, we grow to love things we once hated and hate the things we once loved.

~ ROBERT LOUIS STEVENSON ~

Newcomer

What does "Be good to yourself" really mean? Sometimes when I'm supposed to be working, I want to lie around in bed and do nothing, or sit in front of the TV eating pints of ice cream. "Be good to yourself" comes into my head, so I let myself goof off, then I feel guilty.

Sponsor

There's nothing wrong with relaxing; in fact, many of us in recovery have had a lot to learn about having fun and not treating ourselves like machines. Recovery is not about deprivation.

But being good to ourselves doesn't mean substituting new addictive substances or behaviors for the old ones. Eating a whole pint of ice cream a day, watching hours of TV, sleeping when we have things to do—these are forms of anesthesia. In that respect, they're no different from drinking alcohol or using heroin. They're ways of making feelings disappear, cutting off our connection with ourselves.

Being good to ourselves might mean taking a walk, listening to music, buying ourselves flowers, making plans with a friend—whatever genuinely nurtures us. It doesn't mean doing what we know through our experience or intuition is only going to deaden our spirits.

Today, I know how to nurture myself.

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~ THE EYE OPENER ~

The men and women who are doing the bulk of the work in your Group seldom complain. They are too busy doing their job and yours to have the time. There is no time left for griping.

If things are not being run your way, maybe that is because you are doing nothing to “change the things you can.”

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~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~

Yes or No

Higher Power, today I will remember:
When I was practicing my addiction, I lost track
Of what was right or wrong, honest or dishonest.
Pride was defended,
Anger was justified,
Lust was accepted,
Gluttony was encouraged,
Envy was normal,
Creed was there to be satisfied,
Laziness was a way of life.
In recovery I have come to recognize and rediscover
The integrity in myself by simply knowing;
What is right is what I feel good about,
What is wrong is what I feel bad about.
I will continue to live by yes and no;
This I make into a simple prayer:
Yes to everything good,
No to everything bad.

*************************************************

~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~

THE SECRET PLACE

The Ninety-first Psalm is one of the greatest chapters in the Bible. Like the rest of Scripture, the underlying thought is developed through a series of symbols, and it is by the appreciation of the values lying behind these symbols that the power of this prayer is appropriated.

The way to get the most out of this psalm is to read it through quietly; pausing after each clause to consider the meaning and assenting to this mentally. If you are fearful you will find, after working through the prayer two or three times, that your fear will have gone and that you are now looking at things from a different point of view.

He that dwelleth in the secret place of the most High shall abide under the shadow of the Almighty (Psalm 9l:1).

The Secret Place of the most High is your own consciousness, and this fact is the most important practical discovery in the science of religion. The error usually made is to suppose the Secret Place of the most High to be somewhere outside of yourself, an error fatal to our hopes, because our success in prayer depends upon getting some degree of contact with God; and since He is only to be contacted within, as long as we are looking without we must fail in our objective. Jesus emphasized this truth, The kingdom of God is within you. Again he said that when we pray we are to enter into the closet and shut the door, meaning, to retire in thought within our own consciousness. In fact, this doctrine of the Secret Place and the wonders that can happen therein is taught throughout the Bible.

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~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~

Prayer Conditioned

More things are brought by prayer than this world dreams of.

~ Alfred, Lord Tennyson ~

At the orientation of a week-long spiritual conference at a Pennsylvania college, one of the 500 participants raised her hand and asked, "When are we going to get our dorm room keys?”

"We don't give out keys," the sponsor answered. "The entire campus is prayer conditioned. We have done conferences here for over ten years, we have never issued a key, and we have never had a theft or loss."

The consciousness we bring to any activity creates a psychic environment that protects or undermines what we do in that field. Prayer works. Holding an activity in prayer or prayerful attitude will draw to it a wealth of support, energy, and protection. Scientific studies have shown that praying over food changes the food's chemical properties, and that hospital patients who receive prayer treatment recover faster than control groups.

In Russia, I visited a church where an icon of the Virgin Mary had been venerated during a plague. The plague took a grueling toll on the entire region except for the town that had prayed for intervention, which miraculously remained untouched.

When undertaking any significant enterprise or relationship, or when facing a challenge, make prayer your first line of support. It will help you far more than fear or worldly manipulation.

I place my trust in You. Though unseen to the human eye, You are perfectly present.

God is my strength and my fortress. Spirit never fails.

[bluidkiti]

August 14

Step by Step

"Those of us who have spent much time in the world of spiritual make-believe have eventually seen the childishness of it. This dream world has been replaced by a great sense of purpose, accompanied by a growing consciousness of the power of God in our lives. We have come to believe He would like us to keep our heads in the clouds with Him, but that our feet ought to be firmly planted on earth. That is where our fellow travelers are, and that is where our work must be done. These are the realities for us." - Alcoholics Anonymous, 3rd Edition, 1976, Ch 9 ("The Family Afterward"), p 130.

Today, the spiritual component of recovery is little more than faith without works if I fail to utilize it in service to the addict who still suffers, and if I neglect my responsibility to my spiritual development. That responsibility is, in part, strict adherence to my own program while allowing others in recovery their program that works for them, and in actively seeking participation in program and group affairs before being asked. What I have received in the program is not mine alone, and it cannot and will not grow if I keep it to myself. This is the essential expression of spirituality at work - to share with someone how the program led me to where I am now while helping them to find their way. I may think I have a spiritual connection with my higher power but, if I limit my contentment to myself, my faith is dead without works. And our common journey continues. Step by step. - Chris M.

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~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~

SPONSORS

Call your sponsor before, not after, you take your first drink.

~ Anonymous ~

Sponsors are those who have experienced the benefits of the Program. They are willing to help us on our journey because they know the road we are traveling. They tell us to slow down when we need to, and answer our questions: “How long will I feel guilty?" “How important is doing Steps Four and Five?” “When will I get over these drunk dreams?” “When do I get some serenity?"

When we came into the Program, many of us thought we only needed to stay abstinent. Then we heard that we needed to change other aspects of our life, and most of us didn't like it a bit. We asked our sponsor what needed to be changed. The sponsor said "You only need to change three things.” We were relieved, until our sponsor continued, "Everything you say, everything you think, and everything you do.”

When my sponsor told me to change only three things, he smiled. I didn't. I do now.

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~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~

Better to ask twice than to lose your way twice.

~ Danish proverb ~

How many times have we heard that guys never want to stop and ask for directions? It is true that many of us would rather drive around searching for a place than stop and ask for help. Some of us say we enjoy solving the puzzle without asking for the answer. It’s a trait that many men carry to extremes. We apply it to our lives with very serious consequences when we refuse to see a doctor for a medical condition, or we refuse to consult a therapist for personal problems, or we can’t bring ourselves to go to a Twelve Step group.

Fortunately we don’t have to be permanently locked into those restrictions. We have now found the freedom and rich rewards that come from letting our guard down. The payoff for asking for help, and accepting it, has been far greater than the arrogance of doing everything without help.

Today I will be open to all the help I can get.

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~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~

Life is perfect, just the way it is and just the way it is not.

~ Peggy Bassett ~

Coming to believe that life is perfect however it is takes willingness and concentrated faith. Most of us waste precious hours every day wishing for something that isn’t. Will we ever learn?

It isn’t wrong to want some things to be different. If our own behavior can inspire positive changes in ourselves or others, then it’s not wrong to take responsibility for what we can do. What is futile, though, is assuming we know what is best for everyone. We can’t see the big picture. God gives us only what we need right now. What may look like trouble, what may appear as imperfect one minute, may be God’s greater plan. Let’s wait and see.

I will find comfort in the message that all is well. I will use that today if I get worried about how events seem to be unfolding.

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~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~

I need to make a list of my assets

I keep seeing myself as a person whose life revolves around emotional illness and chemical dependency. I feel as though I'm just a patient who can't do anything but be sick and keep trying to get well, to recover.

Perhaps it would help if I did a kind of Fourth Step inventory on this question. I could write out a list of my assets—my personal qualities, abilities, accomplishments, and interests. Then when I feel bad about the time and effort that my dual illness demands, I can remind myself of the whole truth: I am a competent, valuable person who is in recovery from a dual disorder.

Today I will label a sheet of paper "Assets," and start out the list with two of my most helpful ones.

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~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~

To love one’s self is the beginning of a life-long romance.

~ Oscar Wilde ~

People who value themselves take good care of themselves. The better care we give ourselves, the healthier we become and, in turn, the more we value ourselves. Since most of us have difficulty feeling valuable, we can start to improve our self-esteem by taking good care. It’s the little things, like a woman putting some pretty color on her nails or a man enjoying a soothing bath instead of a shower. Making a complete, healthy meal for ourselves because we’re important will help our self-esteem. Spending time with friends or a quiet time with our Higher Power, can also help.

Sometimes we may want to feel low. We may actually want to believe we are not worth great care. This is sad, and it’s not sobriety. Sobriety is doing the things that are healthy, even if we’d rather not. It means eating a balanced diet and getting enough rest, exercising our minds, and embracing a spiritual way of life. It’s a lot of work, but soon the payoff begins: we feel lovable, worthwhile, happy, and hopeful again.

Today let me do one small, nice thing for myself.

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~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~

The block of granite which was an obstacle in the pathway oj the weak becomes a stepping-stone in the pathway of the strong. That block of granite is often nothing more than a decision.

~ Thomas Carlyle ~

Trails through national parks and forests are often clearly marked and well-maintained. But sometimes a heavy snowmelt or downpour can turn a trickling stream into a tricky obstacle that needs to be navigated in order to continue following the trail.

When this happens, hikers can turn around and postpone their hike until another day. They can attempt to create their own trail by rambling through—and possibly destroying—delicate forest undergrowth. They can slog through the water, soaking their footgear and creating discomfort for the rest of the hike. Or they can utilize the resources available to them, such as by positioning large rocks as stepping-stones to cross the stream.

How you navigate the trails of your recovery can be seen in similar terms. You must choose how to navigate these trails, both in times when the footing is good and when it is not. Be like the hiker who thinks first about how to handle the challenges, so you can continue safely along your journey.

Today I will make choices that will keep me on the path of recovery.

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~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~

I am sick and tired of the snivelers, the defeated, and, the whiners. I am sick and tired of being expected to believe that ugliness is beauty, that melancholy is man's sole pleasure, that delinquency is delight, that laughter is something to be ashamed of.

~ John Mason Brown ~

Every year businesses go through their files, throwing out old information and papers, and reorganizing remaining files. We can do some cleaning of the message files we keep in our heads.

Stored inside us are messages that no longer hold true: "You're a bad person." "You shouldn't show your feelings." "If you cry, you're not a man." "You'll never amount to anything." "Nobody loves you." We can toss out these old messages. We have learned things are not the way those messages claim they are.

We can start new message files: "I'm a nice person." "Crying is a good way to express my feelings." "It's important for me to show how I feel." "I'm doing wonderful things for myself." "People love me." There's no need to hold on to old files when we have wonderful new ones.

I can start weeding out negative messages in my mind. What are some new messages I can put there instead?

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~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~

Keeping our program in mind

In the heat of summer, it can be hard to re-member that we have meetings to attend and a program to work. When we think we are too busy to get to meetings or to work the Steps, our minds are beginning to slip. The pull of mood-altering chemicals can be felt in laziness, boredom, or uncomfortable circumstances.

At times like these, it is important to re-member how we got straight and what keeps us straight.

Do I keep my program in mind at all times?

Higher Power, help me prevent anything from interfering with my crucial Twelve Step program.

Today I will practice my program by

God help me to stay clean and sober today.

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~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~

The same stream of life that runs through my veins night and day, runs through the world and dances in rhythmic measure.

~ RABINDRANATH TAGORE ~

Newcomer

I love nature, but I just haven't been able to make the time or find the money to get away and enjoy it.

Sponsor

We don't have to travel in order to experience ourselves as part of the natural world. If we aren't able to have a garden, we can plant seeds in a windowsill container or put out a bird feeder. We can tune in to natural rhythms by allowing ourselves quiet time when we first wake up in the morning instead of automatically turning on a news broadcast. When we eat, we can stop to smell the food, think about the earth it came from, and chew slowly enough to experience its taste. We can walk outdoors for a short time every day experiencing the rhythm of our moving bodies and the sensation of sunlight, rain, or snow on our skin. We ourselves are a part of nature; we can quiet ourselves by observing the rhythm of our breathing in meditation. Instead of watching TV as we lie in bed at night, we can listen to birds, wind, or rustling leaves. If all we can hear outside our windows is the sound of cars or fire engines, we can listen to a tape of natural sounds.

Nature relieves our fatigue, tension, and stress. Becoming aware of nature, bringing ourselves into harmony with its rhythms, heals us.

Today, I alternate activity with rest, taking time to appreciate some part of the natural world.

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~ THE EYE OPENER ~

If you are one of those who think they are unable to speak at meetings, or to do a little Twelve Step work, then give a try at some other AA activity. If you have a phone you can always call up some new man and shoot the breeze with him. If you have a car you can arrange to pick up some guy who hasn't got transportation and bring him to meetings. Or you gals can occasionally baby sit for someone who wants to attend meetings but can't get away.

There are lots of things you can do if you try. You once thought you couldn't quit drinking, but you did.

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~ WALK SOFTLY AND CARRY A BIG BOOK ~ (Official & Unofficial Sloganeering From the 12 Step Programs) ~

1) A lie a day keeps sobriety away.

2) God wants for you what you would want for yourself, IF you had all the facts.

3) Skid Row is a place in your mind--not a place on the street.

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~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~

May My Thoughts Be Guided

Dear Lord, You have guided me to demonstrate that common sense is the best approach to living in this recovery program.

The Tenth Step suggests it is wise to pause often and review all my choices.
My hurried remarks and actions lead to mistakes.
I have learned when I am wrong to promptly admit it.

From this I have learned honesty and humility.
From this I have grown in understanding and effectiveness.

Dear Lord, in gratitude I pray:
I am what I think.
All that I am comes from my thoughts.
With my thoughts and positive actions, I make my world.

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~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~

THE SHADOW OF THE ALMIGHTY

To abide under the shadow of the Almighty means to live under the protection of God Himself. Eastern people, and especially those with a desert background, such as the people of Palestine, look upon the sun as a danger, even an enemy, from which they need to be safe-guarded. Shade is sanctuary or safety—"the shadow of a mighty rock in a weary land." The exhausted traveler sinks down in the shade for his long-sought rest.

God is called "The Almighty" in order to impress us with the fact that He really is All-mighty, and can therefore overcome our present difficulty, no matter how big it may seem.

. . . for with God all things are possible (Mark 10:27) .

Consider, however, that the promise is made to “him that dwelleth," If we only run into the Secret Place now and again, we can scarcely be said to dwell there. God will come to our rescue whenever we pray, but if we seldom think of Him, we may experience difficulty in making our contact in an emergency. By means of daily meditation we dwell in the Secret Place.

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~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~

For, Not Against

Resist not evil, but overcome evil with good.

~ Jesus Christ ~

In a restaurant, I noticed a woman wearing a white sweatshirt with the word pornography splashed across the front in big red letters. Printed in tiny black letters below the red ones were the words, "is not the will of God.” The latter phrase was written in such small type that I had to be quite near the shirt to read it. "Pornography" however, was easily visible from across the street. While this woman was intending to campaign against pornography, she was actually advertising it. The moment I read the huge word on her sweatshirt, images of pornography came to my mind. She would have been more effective in her campaign if she wore a shirt advertising what she wanted to create, not destroy. she might have worn a shirt with an image depicting two people embracing lovingly, or some phrase that would have reminded onlookers of healthy sexuality.

The mind creates more of whatever it focuses on. For example, do not think about a pink elephant now. Whatever you do, you must not see a pink elephant in your mind. Of course, you are probably seeing a big pink elephant. The subconscious does not comprehend the meaning of not. Now think of your favorite elementary school teacher. Remember her face, name, and why you liked her. While you were thinking of the teacher, did you see the pink elephant? Probably not'

Jesus was a master metaphysician who understood that thoughts create. He advised, "Turn the other cheek," indicating that we must not give energy to what we do not want, but rather turn and look in the direction of what we do value. When Mother Teresa was invited to speak at an anti-war rally, she refused. "If you asked me to speak at a pro-peace rally, I would be there. I am not against anything. I am for love.

I pray to create heaven on earth by focusing on Your presence in all.

I bless the good and let all else go.

[bluidkiti]

August 15

Step by Step

"To my mind, drinking didn't have anything to do with not going through with things. I don't know whether I drank to cover up being a failure, or whether I drank and then missed the deals. I was able to rationalize it anyway. I can well remember over a long period of years when I thought I was the only person in the world who knew that sooner or later I was going to get drunk." - Alcoholics Anonymous, 3rd Edition, 1976, "Personal Stories," Ch 2 ("He Had to be Shown"), p 198.

Today, no wasting physical or emotional energy on asking, "Why me?" Did I drink because I was a failure, or maybe to celebrate being successful and I "earned" the right to drink? Or maybe I couldn't overcome some devastating loss and collapsed into a heap of self-pity or bruised ego. More likely the reason was that I was a predestined alcoholic and, more likely, I barreled toward masochistic self-destruction. Today, in recovery, "Why me?" is no longer relevant because what is, is, and the First Step of admitting I am powerless makes "Why me?" a pointless question. Today, instead of lamenting why I am an alcoholic, I'll focus on the program that keeps me a sober one. And our common journey continues. Step by step. - Chris M.

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~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~

THE YETS

Nothing is so bad that relapse won't make it worse.

~ Anonymous ~

The stories we hear in meetings often shock us. It seems hard to believe that some members could have harmed themselves in such ways. We hear about arrests, bankruptcies, loss of family and home, lost jobs, violence, jail, physical injury—the list goes on. Most of us said to ourselves, "I never was that bad. Maybe I don't really belong here."

Our sponsors and fellow members quickly straightened us out. We were comparing our histories with other members. We were told to identify with the stories, not compare. Some of us had been lucky that worse things hadn't happened to us while we were using. We were reminded those things hadn't happened to us "yet." If we relapsed, the "yets" were waiting.

Today I'll remember to identify, not compare. I don't want to relapse and go through THE YETS.

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~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~

A win in April is just as important as a win in September.

~ Dave Bristol, major league manager ~

Hitting bottom and turning to recovery is an important part of our life story. Many of us lost almost everything before we started to recover. Others had the good fortune to get into recovery early, while most parts of our lives were still intact. Some of us relapsed and had to hit bottom more than once. But once we are on the path of recovery, those distinctions make no difference. Nobody is more or less a codependent or an addict. Nobody is immune from the destruction that our old ways would bring if we returned to them.

A high bottom is like a win in April. It doesn’t count any less in the long run. It doesn’t make us any less an addict or any less codependent, and it doesn’t mean that we have any more control than any of our fellow recovering friends. We are all just one bad decision away from reactivating our old ways. The only important distinction is that we are on the path now.

Today I am grateful to be sober and in recovery, following this path of a better life.

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~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~

I have discovered that while God would do for me what I could not do for myself, God would not do for me what I could do for myself

~ Mary Norton Gordon ~

There are some things God is always in charge Of. One is outcomes. Another is the big picture encompassing our lives. Each experience is part of God’s design for us. On occasion, we may feel there Is little for us to do, since God will handle it all. However, the truth is, our participation is necessity. Every day we have many opportunities to thoughtfully put one foot in front of the other. How lovingly, how gently, how honestly and openly we move through our lives—all these things color the experiences God has planned for us.

We may sometimes find ourselves sitting back, waiting for God to take charge, or aggressively trying to force an outcome that belongs only to God. But we are learning. With time in the program, we begin to realize what is God’s work and what is ours. Our sponsors, the women who share their experiences in meetings, prayer, and meditation enlighten us about how it works.

I am surrounded by women who can help me distinguish between my job and God’s job today. My confusion won’t trouble me for long.

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~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~

I help myself when I help others

I was feeling worse than I had in a long time. I felt I could do nothing right. All I wanted to do was give up and get high. So when my sponsor first suggested it, I didn’t understand how doing a helpful deed for someone could possibly lighten my mood.

But because I trusted my sponsor, I gathered up what strength I had and gave it a try. He was right—an important spiritual surprise. By doing a favor for someone else, I felt better about myself—even in the midst of my own distress. I saw that I have strength in reserve and that I am a worthwhile person—I recognized that other people have needs too—needs that I can help with. When I help others, even for just a little while, I am less caught up in myself,

Today I will do something kind for someone (anonymously).

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~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~

Awake my soul! Stretch every nerve,
And press with vigor on.
A heavenly race demands thy zeal,
And an immortal crown.

~ Philip Doddridge ~

By making the choice to get sober, we also accept the fact that we won’t be an instant success. Accepting our illness doesn’t end our addiction, but gives us the chance to deal with it. Relief from the burden of compulsions frees our potential and grants us distance from the pain of our old lifestyle.

Now, while we expect no medal for winning the race, we are offered the chance to run. Chemical dependency created a life lived in hell, filled with anger, hatred, resentment, and mistrust. But now another way of living is slowly unfolding. We can set to work creating a spiritual life, one in which we honor our body, our mind, and our spirit. The race is never finished, but now we are in it. With the help of our Twelve Step program and our Higher Power, we are confident of our future.

Today let me remember that I can do whatever I need to do.

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~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~

The Fox and the Cat

One day a fox and a cat were discussing the methods they used to avoid their enemies. “I have many clever ways to escape,” bragged the fox. “I only have one,” replied the cat.

Just then they heard a pack of hounds headed their way. The cat immediately scampered up a nearby tree. But the fox froze. He thought about digging a hole. He considered that he could jump into a pond and swim to safety. He figured that he was so quick on his feet that he could create k a very confusing trail for the hounds to follow. As the fox continued his internal debate, he remained immobilized. So the hounds easily caught him.

The moral of the story: Better to have one safe way than a hundred unproven ones.

How many times in the past did you strive to convince yourself that you did not have a problem? And yet no amount of excuses saved you from your problem. The program is your one and only safe way to escape from the ravages caused by addiction.

Today I will be like the cat, which used one sure way to ensure safety.

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~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~

Laughing . . . stirs up the blood, expands the chest, electrifies the nerves, clears away the cobwebs from the brain, and gives the whole system a cleansing rehabilitation.

~ Anonymous ~

One of the greatest gilts the program gives us is the ability to laugh. Laughter is one of the best forms of relaxation. But unless we allow ourselves to see the humorous things in life, we'll have a difficult time bringing out this delightful release.

One way to begin is to practice laughing when we're alone. A loud "ha, ha, ha" while we're driving can startle us at first. But with a little practice we will see the humor in our laugh sessions and laugh without a cue.

There are a lot of things to laugh about in life. But laughter isn't always easy to find. We may have to go out of our way to look for the humor in some situations. We don't have to be comedians to be able to laugh. All we have to do is want to see the other side of life—the humorous side.

Tonight I can try to see things in a humorous light instead of with a heavy, depressing view. There are things that will make me laugh if I try to find them.

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~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~

Sharing our burdens

We were disappointed in ourselves when we could not rise above situations that enveloped us. We were discouraged with friends who seemed indifferent to our suffering.

But coming to the program, we find that we need not fear the burdens of life. Our Higher Power has given us examples, promises, and friends to share all our bur-dens. For example, with understanding people we find that we need never be alone again.

Do I share all my crosses with my fellows and with my Creator?

Higher Power, help me to realize that there are others on my path and to believe that they can help.

The burden I will share today is

God help me to stay clean and sober today!

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~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~

So do we put our life into every act.

~ RALPH WALDO EMERSON ~

Newcomer

There are many people I've shortchanged in my life. While making a list of those I've harmed, I realize I haven't been very good to myself either. For as long as I can remember, I've wanted to do some creative work. It's something that I never used to think I could succeed at, but I've always wanted to try. Somehow, I've never had the time. Short-changing others and short-changing ourselves—I think you're right to see a relationship between the two. If we are less than honest with someone else, if we don’t keep our commitments to others, then we're doing these very same things to ourselves as well.

You've brought up your desire to acknowledge your creativity, something you've always wanted but have put off. Why has it been such a low priority, when it’s clearly so important to you? Your creativity isn't self-indulgent. It's something that's very important to your spirit, important as a path of connection to yourself and to your Higher Power.

As you clear the channels between yourself and others, you're becoming more present for yourself. This clearing is an essential part of the path to creative expression and fulfillment.

Today, I honor my need for creative expression.

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~ THE EYE OPENER ~

Frequently people who are only sober in AA try to carry our message to other alcoholics without realizing that if you have only sobriety you can only carry sobriety. In order to carry the AA way of life you must live the AA way of life.

The fact that you are sober doesn't imply that you are on the Program. In fact, many outside of AA have longer periods of sobriety behind them than anyone in AA. They started before AA was started. Whether in or out of AA, if you have sobriety only, you are a dried-up drunk in my book.

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~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~

Moment by Moment

Never a trial God is not there.
Never a burden that God does not bear.
Never a sorrow that God does not share .
Moment by moment I'm under God's care.

~ From "Moment by Moment" by Daniel V. Whittle ~

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~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~

OUR FORTRESS

Read Psalm 91.

Observe that the poem opens by announcing the irresistible power of prayer. Then in order to bring home the fact that this law applies to us, and that by no possibility could we be an exception, it now changes over to the first person and makes us say "I" It compels us to voice the I AM.

I will say of the Lord, He is my refuge md my fortress: my God; in him will I trust. The Lord means God. How can knowledge be a presence? Secular knowledge, which is intellectual, cannot; but the true knowledge of God is an actual experience—not a thing of the head, but of the heart—and this is indeed a Presence. As a general rule, people contact this Real Self only vaguely and occasionally. Then, if they pray regularly, the gleams of intuition gradually strengthen into a definite sense of the Presence of God.

In Him will I trust. However worried or depressed you may be, however full of doubts and misgivings, still the fact that you are praying means that you have at least enough faith for that. The faith to go on praying in the midst of doubts about results is the tiny grain of mustard seed that Jesus says is sufficient for practical purposes.
Declaring in Him will trust means that you have now determined to trust by ceasing to worry and fear. This is the legitimate and spiritual use of the will.

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~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~

Make No Plans

Sitting quietly, doing nothing Spring comes and the grass grows by itself.

~ Zen saying ~

May I offer you three words of advice that could make all the difference in your vacation?" Fredrick asked me as he was about drop me off at the airport.

"Sure."

He looked me in the eye carefully and told me: "Make no plans."

When I arrived in Bali for my two-week retreat, I rented a thatched-roof bungalow in the middle of a rice field near a mountain town, and I created each day as it came. I woke up not with an alarm clock, but when my eyes opened. Some mornings I meditated after awakening, other mornings I wrote, and on other days, I walked through the maze of rice paddies. When I was hungry, I walked into town, dined casually at a restaurant next to a lotus pool, and then strolled leisurely through the village. My entire time unfolded in magnificent perfection with a minimum of preparation. Occasionally I would hope to see one of my friends, and within a few hours or a day, they would show up at a house I was visiting. In spite of—or because of—minimal planning, I experienced more peace and freedom than I had in a long time.

In this world, we will not escape making some plans. Houses, meetings, and businesses call for blueprints. But we can escape planning anxiously. We do not need to set up our whole life before we reach it. Many of us plan, not out of necessity, but out of fear that if we had some time on our hands, we would be lost. To the contrary, we would be found.

I turn my schedule over to You, trusting You to arrange all meetings and events for me far more effectively than I could arrange for myself.

God is my Day-Planner