NA JUST FOR TODAY - AUGUST 2014

[MajestyJo]

August 01, 2014

Freedom from guilt

Page 223

"Our addiction enslaved us. We were prisoners of our own mind and were condemned by our own guilt."

Basic Text, p. 7

Guilt is one of the most commonly encountered stumbling blocks in recovery. One of the more notorious forms of guilt is the self-loathing that results when we try to forgive ourselves but don't feel forgiven.

How can we forgive ourselves so we feel it? First, we remember that guilt and failure are not links in an unbreakable chain. Honestly sharing with a sponsor and with other addicts shows this to be true. Often the result of such sharing is a more sensible awareness of the part we ourselves have played in our affairs. Sometimes we realize that our expectations have been too high. We increase our willingness to participate in the solutions rather than dwelling on the problems.

Somewhere along the way, we discover who we really are. We usually find that we are neither the totally perfect nor the totally imperfect beings we have imagined ourselves to be. We need not live up to or down to our illusions; we need only live in reality.

Just for Today: I am grateful for my assets and accept my liabilities. Through willingness and humility, I am freed to progress in my recovery and achieve from from guilt.

This was difficult for me, especially as my son kept throwing things up in my face. I got relief, when I realized that I didn't have to pay for the rest of my life. I made my amend, I had changed, and the only thing I could do was live just for today, and not go back to the person that was. In order to do that, I had to stay clean and sober.

[MajestyJo]

August 02, 2014
Practicing honesty
Page 224

"When we feel trapped or pressured, it takes great spirtual and emotional strength to be honest."

Basic Text, p. 81

Many of us try to wiggle out of a difficult spot by being dishonest, only to have to humble ourselves later and tell the truth. Some of us twist our stories as a matter of course, even when we could just as easily tell the plain truth. Every time we try to avoid being honest, it backfires on us. Honesty may be uncomfortable, but the trouble we have to endure when we are dishonest is usually far worse than the discomfort of telling the truth.

Honesty is one of the fundamental principles of recovery. We apply this principle right from the beginning of our recovery when we finally admit our powerlessness and unmanageability. We continue to apply the principle of honesty each time we are faced with the option of either living in fantasy or living life on its own terms. Learning to be honest isn't always easy, especially after the covering up and deception so many of us practiced in our addiction. Our voices may shake as we test our newfound honesty. But before long, the sound of the truth coming from our own mouths settles any doubts: Honesty feels good! It's easier living the truth than living a lie.

Just for Today: Today I will honestly embrace life, with all its pressures and demands. I will practice honesty, even when it is awkward to do so. Honesty will help, not hurt, my efforts to live clean and recover.

Honesty has many layers, the deeper we look into we we really are, more is revealed. So many times we think we are who other people say we are, other times we think we are who want to be, and the we get honest, and a whole new picture evolves. It is a program of practice, practice, practice. Just when we think we have it made and know it all, we find ourselves back practicing, practicing, practicing.

[MajestyJo]

August 03, 2014

Trusting people

Page 225

"Most of us would have had nowhere else to go if we could not have trusted NA groups and members."

Basic Text, p. 81

Trusting people is a risk. Human beings are notoriously forgetful, unreliable, and imperfect. Most of us come from backgrounds where betrayal and insensitivity among friends were common occurrences. Even our most reliable friends weren't very reliable. By the time we arrive at the doors of NA, most of us have hundreds of experiences bearing out our conviction that people are untrustworthy. Yet our recovery demands that we trust people. We are faced with this dilemma: People are not always trustworthy, yet we must trust them. How do we do that, given the evidence of our pasts?

First, we remind ourselves that the rules of active addiction don't apply in recovery. Most of our fellow members are doing their level best to live by the spiritual principles we learn in the program. Second, we remind ourselves that we aren't 100% reliable, either. We will surely disappoint someone in our lives, no matter how hard we try not to. Third, and most importantly, we realize that we need to trust our fellow members of NA. Our lives are at stake, and the only way we can stay clean is to trust these well-intentioned folks who, admittedly, aren't perfect.

Just for Today: I will trust my fellow members. Though certainly not perfect, they are my best hope.

For me, trust is something that has to be earned. I trust people until such a time as they do me wrong or someone close to me wrong, and then they have to earn my trust by changing and becoming trustworthy. There was a lot of attitude that had to be healed so I could look at a situation with true honesty and self-awareness.

[MajestyJo]

August 04, 2014
When is a secret not a secret?
Page 226

"Addicts tend to live secret lives. . . . It is a great relief to get rid of all our secrets and to share the burden of our past."

Basic Text, p. 32

We've heard it said that "we're as sick as our secrets:' What do we keep secret, and why?

We keep secret those things that cause us shame. We may hold onto such things because we don't want to surrender them. Yet if they're causing us shame, wouldn't we live more easily with ourselves if we were rid of them?

Some of us hold onto the things that cause us shame for another reason. It's not that we don't want to be rid of them; we just don't believe we can be rid of them. They've plagued us for so long, and we've tried so many times to rid ourselves of them, that we've stopped hoping for relief. Yet still they shame us, and still we keep them secret.

We need to remember who we are: recovering addicts. We who tried so long to keep our drug use a secret have found freedom from the obsession and compulsion to use. Though many of us enjoyed using right to the end, we sought recovery anyway. We just couldn't stand the toll our using was taking on us. When we admitted our powerlessness and sought help from others, the burden of our secret was lifted from us.

The same principle applies to whatever secrets may burden us. Yes, we're as sick as our secrets. Only when our secrets stop being secret can we begin to find relief from those things that cause us shame.

Just for Today: My secrets can make me sick only as long as they stay secret. Today, I will talk with my sponsor about my secrets.

A long time slogan, "You are only as sick as your secrets." It is so true and so many where buried so deep it took a long time for them to come up so I could process them.

My sponsor and spiritual adviser told me, "You didn't get this way overnight, you don't get better overnight. It is a process, one day at a time. Just for today, I choose not to use people, places, and things. I have to let go and allow myself to heal.

[MajestyJo]

August 05, 2014

The shape of our thoughts

Page 227

"By shaping our thoughts with spiritual ideals, we are freed to become who we want to be."

Basic Text, p. 101

Addiction shaped our thoughts in its own way. Whatever their shape may once have been, they became misshapen once our disease took full sway over our lives. Our obsession with drugs and self molded our moods, our actions, and the very shape of our lives.

Each of the spiritual ideals of our program serves to straighten out one or another of the kinks in our thinking that developed in our active addiction. Denial is counteracted by admission, secretiveness by honesty, isolation by fellowship, and despair by faith in a loving Higher Power. The spiritual ideals we find in recovery are restoring the shape of our thoughts and our lives to their natural condition.

And what is that "natural condition"? It is the condition we truly seek for ourselves, a reflection of our highest dreams. How do we know this? Because our thoughts are being shaped in recovery by the spiritual ideals we find in our developing relationship with the God we've come to understand in NA.

No longer does addiction shape our thoughts. Today, our lives are being shaped by our recovery and our Higher Power

Just for Today: I will allow spiritual ideals to shape my thoughts. In that design, I will find the shape of my own Higher Power.

Had me some of them today. Generally can't sit at my computer very long and today has been a very good day. Some days I have trouble seeing beyond the religion to get to the spiritual. I have religious beliefs but it is the spiritual aspect that is needed for recovery.

[MajestyJo]

August 07, 2014

The gratitude list

Page 229

"We focus on anything that isn't going our way and ignore all the beauty in our lives."

Basic Text, pg. 77

It's easy to be grateful when everything runs smoothly. If we get a raise at work, we're grateful. If we get married, we're grateful. If someone surprises us with a nice present or an unasked favor, we're grateful. But if we get fired, divorced, or disappointed, gratitude flies out the window. We find ourselves becoming obsessed with the things that are wrong, even though everything else may be wonderful.

This is where we can use a gratitude list. We sit down with a pen and paper and list the people for whom we are grateful. We all have people who've supported us through life's upheavals. We list the spiritual assets we have attained, for we know we could never make it through our present circumstances without them. Last, but not least, we list our recovery itself. Whatever we have that we are grateful for goes on the list.

We're sure to find that we have literally hundreds of things in our lives that inspire our gratitude. Even those of us who are suffering from an illness or who have lost all material wealth will find blessings of a spiritual nature for which we can be thankful. An awakening of the spirit is the most valuable gift an addict can receive.

Just for Today: I will write a list of things, both material and spiritual, for which I am grateful.

Always have made that list maybe not always at night, but at some time during my day if I have forgotten.

Gratitude Checklist

1. Did you wake up this morning?
2. Were you able to see when you opened your eyes?
3. Were you able to stretch any part of your body (your
whole body or your arms or your legs)?
4. Were you sleeping on a bed?
5. Did you have a sheet and or blanket covering you
during the night?
6. Were you wearing a night shirt or pj’s to keep you
warm (if you wanted to)?
7. Did you have something available to eat when you woke up?
8. Was the sun shining outside and/or was there snow on
the ground and/or was it raining outside?
9. Did you have a bathroom available to use?
10. When you counted your fingers and toes this morning
were they all there?
11. Are you finding yourself able to breathe?
12. When you turned on your computer this morning did it work?
13. Is your electricity working?
14. If it is cold outside, do you have heat today?
15. Is there at least one person in this world who you care
about?
16. Is there at least one person in this world who cares about
you?
17. Is there a place nearby where you can take a walk, or if you
are in a wheelchair, is there a place outside where you can go
for a stroll in your chair?
18. Do you have access to a phone or email?
19. Do you have Internet access?
20. Are there phone or in-person meetings you can go to this
Thanksgiving if you are alone?
21. Is there a book you haven’t read yet that you could get
your hands on today and enjoy?
22. Is there a child you love that you could call on the phone
and say hello to?
23. Is there someone in your neighborhood or calling range
who could use a hello who you could reach out to so they will
have a better Thanksgiving Day?
24. If you have to work today, will you have the opportunity
to smile at, enjoy, and delight others who you come in contact
with?
25. If you are alone today, is there someone you can reach
out to in friendship, kindness, or love?
26. If you are alone today, can you for a moment at least,
enjoy the stillness, the quiet time, the peace?
27. If you are cooking for a whole lot of people, can you enjoy
the opportunity to bring your attitude of gratitude and your joy
of recovery to those you love, not through telling them about it,
but just through your state of being?
28. If you are exceptionally tired right now, can you feel that
exhaustion and know it is a sign of being very much alive and
a part of this world?
29. If you have people you’ve lost, can you feel the gratitude
for what they gave you during your time together?
30. If you have people in your life who are alive but caught in
the throes of addiction, can you think of a happy time you
shared or of something you love about them regardless of their
habit, and be grateful for that?
31. If so many things are going right in your life, but something
really big is very wrong and it’s shaken your world, can you
acknowledge that thing, breathe through it, know it is there,
and spend at least a few moments whenever you can to put
your focus on the things that are going right?
32. Do you have a pet you love or did you have one who brought
you joy that you can remember in gladness and gratitude for the
gifts he or she gave you?
32. Can you think of at least five other things to be grateful for
today? (start by thinking of your five senses and go from there)

Put this here because I had no gratitude before recovery. My attitude was that the world owed me a favour and aren't I so hard done by. No thought that I could over come life's situations let alone that they were often of my own creation and that i had a disease of perception.

You may be tired of hearing me saying it, but as my sponsor use to say "A grateful alcoholic/addict will never have a reason to pick up." It doesn't matter if your drug was liquid, solid, powdered or the flesh and blood variety, it all leads to the same soul sickness.

[MajestyJo]

August 08, 2014

Responsible recovery

Page 230

". . .we accept responsibility for our problems and see that we're equally responsible for our solutions."

Basic Text, p. 94

Some of us, well accustomed to leaving our personal responsibilities to others, may attempt the same behavior in recovery. We quickly find out it doesn't work.

For instance, we are considering making a change in our lives, so we call our sponsor and ask what we should do. Under the guise of seeking direction, we are actually asking our sponsor to assume responsibility for making decisions about our life. Or maybe we've been short with someone at a meeting, so we ask that person's best friend to make our apologies for us. Perhaps we've imposed on a friend several times in the last month to cover our service commitment. Could it be that we've asked a friend to analyze our behavior and identify our shortcomings, rather than taking our own personal inventory?

Recovery is something that has to be worked for. It isn't going to be handed to us on a silver platter, nor can we expect our friends or our sponsor to be responsible for the work we must do ourselves. We recover by making our own decisions, doing our own service, and working our own steps. By doing it for ourselves, we receive the rewards.

Just for Today: I will accept responsibility for my life and my recovery.

For me that is walking your talk. Do people look at you and see change? I found that others saw it before I did.

With me, what you see is what you get. If you met me in person, you would know me. That is why I had difficulty not getting out to meetings. My friend B. is celebrating next Friday and has asked me to go with him. I think it is the big 3 0, this year, or the one just before it.

I am going to make the effort even though it isn't wheel chair accessible and has lots of stairs. I know it will put me down for the count for a couple of days, but that is okay, I choose to support him.

I am responsible when anyone anywhere who reaches out for help, I want the hand of recovery to be there, no matter what fellowship it is. I qualify for a lot of them. I found that they are all based on AA, so try to keep it basic. It isn't the substance that is the problem, it is the thoughts behind why I used and what took me to active addiction, and kept me on the insanity of active addiction, until I came to a decision to change and found the willingness to reach out and ask for help.

I was addicted to pills (dried up alcohol), alcohol, food, men, work, relationships, gambling (Nevada Tickets and Bejewelled 1, 2, and 3) and my computer, or any other person, place or thing that becomes 'more' and I know I am in addiction, and heading for a relapse.

When you walk into a meeting of recovery, you are taking the first part of Step One.

[MajestyJo]

August 09, 2014

The Power of love

Page 231

"We begin to see that God's love has been present all the time, just waiting for us to accept it."

Basic Text, p. 46

God's love is the transforming power that drives our recovery. With that love, we find freedom from the hopeless, desperate cycle of using, self-hatred, and more using. With that love, we gain a sense of reason and purpose in our once purposeless lives. With that love, we are given the inner direction and strength we need to begin a new way of life: the NA way. With that love, we begin to see things differently, as if with new eyes.

As we examine our lives through the eyes of love, we make what may be a startling discovery: The loving God we've so recently come to understand has always been with us and has always loved us. We recall the times when we asked for the aid of a Higher Power and were given it. We even recall times when we didn't ask for such help, yet were given it anyway. We realize that a loving Higher Power has cared for us all along, preserving our lives till the day when we could accept that love for ourselves.

The Power of love has been with us all along. Today, we are grateful to have survived long enough to become consciously aware of that love's presence in our world and our lives. Its vitality floods our very being, guiding our recovery and showing us how to live.

Just for Today: I accept the love of a Higher Power in my life. I am conscious of that Power's guidance and strength within me. Today, I claim it for my own.,

Like this. Love is for everyone, and I am open to receiving my share and sharing it with others.

[MajestyJo]

August 10, 2014

Regular prayer and meditation

Page 232

"Most of us pray when we are hurting. We learn that if we pray regularly, we won't be hurting as often or as intensely."

Basic Text, p. 44

Regular prayer and meditation are two more key elements in our new pattern of living. Our active addiction was more than just a bad habit waiting to be broken by force of will. Our addiction was a negative, draining dependence that stole all our positive energy. That dependence was so total, it prevented us from developing any kind of reliance on a Higher Power.

From the very beginning of our recovery, our Higher Power has been the force that's brought us freedom. First, it relieved us of our compulsion to keep taking drugs, even when we knew they were killing us. Then, it gave us freedom from the more deeply ingrained aspects of our disease. Our Higher Power gave us the direction, the strength, and the courage to inventory ourselves; to admit out loud to another person what our lives had been like, perhaps for the first time; to begin seeking release from the chronic defects of character underlying our troubles; and, at last, to make amends for the wrongs we'd done.

That first contact with a Higher Power, and that first freedom, has grown into a life full of freedom. We maintain that freedom by maintaining and improving our conscious contact with our Higher Power through regular prayer and meditation

Just for Today: I will make a commitment to include regular prayer and meditation in my new pattern of living.

It has been the only way for me. Meditation is so important. It is good to pray, but it is even more important to stop and listen.

[MajestyJo]

August 11, 2014

Active listening

Page 233

"Through active listening, we hear things that work for us."

Basic Text, p. 102

Most of us arrived in Narcotics Anonymous with a very poor ability to listen. But to take full advantage of "the therapeutic value of one addict helping another,' we must learn to listen actively.

What is active listening for us? In meetings, it means we concentrate on what the speaker is sharing, while the speaker is sharing. We set aside our own thoughts and opinions until the meeting is over. That's when we sort through what we've heard to decide which ideas we want to use and which we want to explore further.

We can apply our active listening skills in sponsorship, too. Newcomers often talk with us about some "major event" in their lives. While such events may not seem significant to us, they are to the newcomer who has little experience living life on life's terms. Our active listening helps us empathize with the feelings such events trigger in our sponsee's life. With that understanding, we have a better idea of what to share with them.

The ability to listen actively was unknown to us in the isolation of our addiction. Today, this ability helps us actively engage with our recovery. Through active listening, we receive everything being offered us in NA, and we share fully with others the love and care we've been given.

Just for Today: I will strive to be an active listener. I will practice active listening when others share and when I share with others.

As the slogan says, "Learn to listen, Listen to learn."

A very good reason to go to a meeting and call your sponsor.

[MajestyJo]

August 12, 2014

Enough!

Page 234

"Something inside cries out, 'Enough, enough, I've had enough,' and then they are ready to take that first and often most difficult step toward dealing with their disease."

Basic Text, p. 203

Have we really had enough? This is the crucial question we must ask ourselves as we prepare to work the First Step in Narcotics Anonymous. It doesn't matter whether or not we arrived in NA with our families intact, our careers still working for us, and all the outward appearances of wholeness. All that matters is that we have reached an emotional and spiritual bottom that precludes our return to active addiction. If we have, we will be truly ready to go to any lengths to quit using.

When we inventory our powerlessness, we ask ourselves some simple questions. Can I control my use of drugs in any form? What incidents have occurred as a result of my drug use that I didn't want to happen? How is my life unmanageable? Do I believe in my heart that I am an addict?

If the answers to these questions lead us to the doors of Narcotics Anonymous, then we are ready to move on to the next step toward a life free from active addiction. If we have truly had enough, then we will be willing to go to any lengths to find recovery.

Just for Today: I admit that I have had enough. I am ready to work my First Step.

This is how I felt when I made the decision to call and ask for help. Stop the world, I want to get off, enough already,

Over the years in recovery, I can still feel that enough is enough already. That means back to basics and Step One.

As they say in Al-Anon, "Let It Begin With Me." It isn't about someone else,it is about me and my recovery.

[MajestyJo]

August 13, 2014

Difficult people

Page 235

"By giving unconditional love. . . we become more loving, and by sharing spiritual growth we become more spiritual."

Basic Text, p. 99

Most of us have one or two exceptionally difficult people in our lives. How do we deal with such a person in our recovery? First, we take our own inventory. Have we wronged this person? Has some action or attitude of ours served as an invitation for the kind of treatment they have given us? If so, we will want to clear the air, admit we have been wrong, and ask our Higher Power to remove whatever defects may prevent us from being helpful and constructive.

Next, as people seeking to live spiritually oriented lives, we approach the problem from the other person's point of view. They may be faced with any number of challenges we either fail to consider or know nothing about, challenges that cause them to be unpleasant. As it's said, we seek in recovery "to forgive rather than be forgiven; to understand rather than be understood."

Finally, if it is within our power, we seek ways to help others overcome their challenges without injuring their dignity. We pray for their well-being and spiritual growth and for the ability to offer them the unconditional love that has meant so much to us in our recovery.

We cannot change the difficult people in our lives, nor can we please everyone. But by applying the spiritual principles we've learned in NA, we can learn to love them.

Just for Today: Higher Power, help me serve other people, not demand that they serve me.

We will not agree with everyone, we are all individual, even though we all walk the path of recovery. It was nice to learn that it was okay to agree to disagree.

My sponsor told me that I would learn two things at a meeting, how to work your program and how not to walk your program.

I like the fact that I don't do hissy fits much any more and I don't go up one side and down the other and tear strip's off with my tongue. My tongue is for healing today and no longer a weapon. I was one of those difficult people. I am a walking miracle. I was one of the really sick ones.

[MajestyJo]

August 14, 2014

Letting go of our limitations

Page 236

"We don't have to settle for the limitations of the past. We can examine and reexamine our old ideas."

Basic Text, p. 11

Most of us come to the program with a multitude of self-imposed limitations that prevent us from realizing our full potential, limitations that impede our attempts to find the values that lie at the core of our being. We place limitations on our ability to be true to ourselves, limitations on our ability to function at work, limitations on the risks we're willing to take-the list seems endless. If our parents or teachers told us we would never succeed, and we believed them, chances are we didn't achieve much. If our socialization taught us not to stand up for ourselves, we didn't, even if everything inside us was screaming to do so.

In Narcotics Anonymous, we are given a process by which we can recognize these false limitations for what they are. Through our Fourth Step, we'll discover that we don't want to keep all the rules we've been taught. We don't have to be the life-long victims of past experiences. We are free to discard the ideas that inhibit our growth. We are capable of stretching our boundaries to encompass new ideas and new experiences. We are free to laugh, to cry, and, above all, to enjoy our recovery.

Just for Today: I will let go of my self-imposed limitations and open my mind to new ideas.

This was a lesson I had to learn. If I stopped and became a couch potato, I had trouble starting again, if I wanted to start. It was so important to keep moving and stay active. That is why I am so grateful for this site that allows me to be active in service.

If I tell myself I can't, there is a good chance that I won't.

[MajestyJo]

August 15, 2014

Over time, not overnight

Page 237

"We found that we do not recovery physically, mentally, or spiritually overnight."

Basic Text, p. 27

Have you ever approached a recovery celebration with the feeling that you should be further along in your recovery than you are? Maybe you have listened to newcomers sharing in meetings, members with much less clean time, and thought, "But I'm just barely beginning to understand what they're talking about!"

It's odd that we should come into recovery thinking that we will feel wonderful right away or no longer have any difficulty handling life's twists and turns. We expect our physical problems to correct themselves, our thinking to become rational, and a fully developed spiritual life to manifest itself overnight. We forget that we spent years abusing our bodies, numbing our minds, and suppressing our awareness of a Higher Power. We cannot undo the damage in a day. We can, however, apply the next step, go to the next meeting, help the next newcomer. We heal and recover bit by bit-not overnight, but over time.

Just for Today: My body will heal a little, my mind will become a little clearer, and my relationship with my Higher Power will strengthen.

Amen. The program is a process not a quick fix.

[MajestyJo]

August 16, 2014

Up or down

Page 238

"This is our road to spiritual growth. We change every day.... This growth is not the result of wishing but of action and prayer."

Basic Text, pp. 35-36

Our spiritual condition is never static; if it's not growing, it's decaying. If we stand still, our spiritual progress will lose its upward momentum. Gradually, our growth will slow, then halt, then reverse itself. Our tolerance will wear thin; our willingness to serve others will wane; our minds will narrow and close. Before long, we'll be right back where we started: in conflict with everyone and everything around us, unable to bear even ourselves.

Our only option is to actively participate in our program of spiritual growth. We pray, seeking knowledge greater than our own from a Power greater than ourselves. We open our minds and keep them open, becoming teachable and taking advantage of what others have to share with us. We demonstrate our willingness to try new ideas and new ways of doing things, experiencing life in a whole new way. Our spiritual progress picks up speed and momentum, driven by the Higher Power we are coming to understand better each day.

Up or down-it's one or the other, with very little in between, where spiritual growth is concerned. Recovery is not fueled by wishing and dreaming, we've discovered, but by prayer and action.

Just for Today: The only constant in my spiritual condition is change. I cannot rely on yesterday's program. Today, I seek new spiritual growth through prayer and action.

Amen. Either you are in or out. Either you work the program or don't. We have freedom of choice. What do you choose to have as a part of your program? Are you up and down? Do you need more? Maybe your program needs a new dimension.