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Family and Friends of Alcoholics and Addicts This forum is for families and friends whose lives have been affected by someone else's drinking and/or drug abuse.

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Old 08-01-2014, 03:41 AM   #1
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Default TODAY'S GIFT FOR FAMILY AND FRIENDS/AUGUST 2014

Quote:
Friday, August 1, 2014

You are reading from the book Today's Gift

Flying is largely a matter of having the right attitude--plus, of course, good wing feathers.
—E. B. White

The swan flies with majesty, confidence, and grace. It is made to fly, of course, but it learns as much about flying from its parents as it knows by instinct. It is not born with the ability to fly, but with the potential.

Each of us is born with the potential to fly in many skies. We may sing or dance or write or run, fix machines, teach children, speak, listen, sympathize. And we can do all things well, as only humans can. It is not the ability to do these things that makes us human; it's what we do with that ability.

Knowing how to prepare ourselves before we spread our wings is part of discovering what we can do. When we learn to ride a bike, we know we can do it; our parent's hand on the seat helps us know it.

Wanting to soar is the first part of the flight; it is studying, practicing, and asking for help that allows us to get off the ground.

What steps can I take today toward reaching my potential?
Have always figured the day should be started with Steps 1, 2, 3, I call it a Waltz. I can't, He can, Just for today, I choose to let Him.

End the day with Steps 10, 11, and 12, and the rest of the Steps in between, to be worked when applicable. They are really necessary when the past comes into today. So much of us is rooted in our past, we need to get to the root of the matter in order for it to heal.
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Old 08-02-2014, 02:36 AM   #2
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Saturday, August 2, 2014

You are reading from the book Today's Gift

Happiness is a mental habit, a mental attitude, and if it is not learned and practiced in the present it is never experienced.
—Maxwell Maltz

If only I had a new bike, then I'd be happy. If only my family were more understanding, then I'd be happy. If only my hair were styled better. If only I had more friends. If only... Sometimes we begin to sound like a broken record when things go wrong, so certain that if the events and conditions of our lives were different, we'd be happy.

It's an old and unfortunate habit that we look around outside ourselves for happiness. We can never be sure of it if we count on certain conditions to guarantee it. However, we can always be sure of happiness if we carry it with us wherever we go. The happiness habit can be developed, with practice, just as surely as good piano playing or accurate pitching. We can control our own thoughts. The decision to make them happy ones is ours to make.

Am I carrying my happiness within me right now?
The reason I am carrying my happiness within me today was because my son came here, paid me the money he owed me and left. He was already stoned, but that is his choice.

I looked up the meditation for Courage to Change today which said, "Today I will keep hands off and keep my focus where it belongs, one me.

...In All Our Affairs"

I am as happy as I choose to be. I may not be happy, but I have a choice to leave where I am at, and allow happiness to catch up with me.
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Old 08-03-2014, 02:29 AM   #3
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Sunday, August 3, 2014

You are reading from the book Today's Gift

Creativity is so delicate a flower that praise tends to make it bloom, while discouragement often nips it in the bud.
—Alex Osborn

A garden of flowers blooming is a beautiful sight to see. Through the green leaves surrounding a tulip we see hints of yellow or pink or red. Each day the flowers greet us with their radiant color. Yet, a sudden frost would wilt and fade the flowers.

Each time we create something new with our talents we are like a young flower opening. Whether we draw or write or sew or play a musical instrument, all creativity has this in common. Appreciation from those around us is like sunshine for the flowers. Harsh criticism, however, is like the cold air - it wilts and deadens our desire to create.

We all need warm encouragement for our endeavors, and we can give as well as receive it. In this way, creativity can bloom in our homes and our friendships, bringing a garden full of color and delight into our lives.

What encouragement can I offer to someone near me?
Be themselves, we are not all the same, we each have different gifts and we all use them differently.

I use to have a lot of time on my hands and I liked to format, put on pictures, and anything else that I could think of it to make things fancy, with the hope that they and others would come back to visit again.

I then realized it didn't matter how it was presented as long as it told the story, preferably one of recovery and how the program worked for them.

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Old 08-04-2014, 03:22 AM   #4
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Monday, August 4, 2014

You are reading from the book Today's Gift

Do I love you because you're beautiful
Or are you beautiful because I love you?
—Oscar Hammerstein

Once, a powerful king agreed to help a small, lost boy find his mother. Since the boy described his mother as the most beautiful woman in the world, the king commanded all the beautiful women in the kingdom to come to the castle.

From miles around, they came - women with complexions of porcelain and hair of spun gold, with cheeks the color of apricots and eyes as dark as the raven's. But none of them was the boy's mother. When the last of the women had paraded before them, and the king and the boy had begun to despair, they heard a timid knock on the door. "Come in," the king said wearily. In shuffled an old washerwoman, her grey hair tied up in a kerchief, her hands rough and red, her dress coarse and patched.

"Mother!" the boy cried when he saw her, and he leapt from his chair and raced into the woman's arms. The king stared in amazement.

Will I be able to see the real beauty in others today?
Such a beautiful thought. I am learning, I am better than I was and each day, God and I work on this.
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Old 08-05-2014, 02:32 AM   #5
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Tuesday, August 5, 2014

You are reading from the book Today's Gift

There is surely a piece of divinity in us, something that was before the elements...
—Sir Thomas Browne

One definition of divinity in the dictionary is "supreme excellence." It also means "god-like character" and "divine nature."

Doesn't that describe someone we love? When we are in love with someone, we see only the best of that person - it's impossible to see anything else. That person is "divine," we say, perfect for us, because he or she loves us and is lovable.

Each one of us has a part that is divine. We see it occasionally in others, and they see it in us when they love us. We can draw on that divine part of every person for strength and hope and courage and faith and love. There is wonderful, mysterious beauty in all of us, even when we behave badly.

What divinity do I see in those around me right now?

In my house, just me on a good day. Too isolated to see much around me with the exception of God's Gift by putting special people in my path when I need it.

I see a lot of people who are searching, others who aren't look, those who think they know it all and have tunnel vision and not open to God's Gifts, and others who don't know it is available.
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Old 08-07-2014, 10:54 AM   #6
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[QUOTE]
Wednesday, August 6, 2014

You are reading from the book Today's Gift

What matters?...Only the flicker of light within the darkness, the feeling of warmth within the cold, the knowledge of love within the void.
—Joan Walsh Anglund

If we were lost at sea, surrounded by darkness pierced only by one distant blinking light, we would follow that light. As we followed it, it would become clearer and brighter until it brought us safely to land.

Sometimes when we're depressed, we feel as though we're lost on a dark sea. But there is always a flicker of light for us. It may be prayer, or the love of a special friend. When we see that light, we need to move toward it. Whatever brings us hope is like that flicker of light. The more we seek it, the clearer and brighter the light will become.

When we are cold and our bodies begin to numb, we must keep moving. Movement will keep us alive. When our emotions are numb, we need people or things or places that will warm our hearts. When no one else is around, hot baths or a favorite treat can bring the warmth of our own self-love into our lives when we need it the most.

How can I brighten my inner light today?
Someone once asked how I was doing and I said, "I am having a great day." He said, "Then what are you doing here?" Here was a morning meeting and I told him, "Just passing it on."

I also think any day the sun shines is a good day. It is good to just go out, give thanks for my God's Creations. I like to sit up a bench and just soak up the soak up the sun and just be aware of what is around me.
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Old 08-07-2014, 11:03 AM   #7
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Quote:
Thursday, August 7, 2014

You are reading from the book Today's Gift

Love consists in this, that two solitudes protect and touch and greet each other.

—Rainer Maria Rilke

For a relationship to be healthy and fulfilling, each of us must respect the other. "Two solitudes" is exactly what we are, and we will never be one, no matter how close we become. It may feel like that at times, but we always remain separate persons with our own thoughts, feelings, dreams, and interests.

When we love one another, we allow each other to be who we are, to have our own lives, for it is out of those separate lives that we bring strength and energy and life into our relationships.

We are meant to honor the differences between us. Often these differences lead to squabbles, but when we recognize that each of us is necessary to the union we have created, we create a better one, far superior to the sum of its parts.

What differences between us make our lives together better?
Communication!!!
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Old 08-08-2014, 02:54 AM   #8
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Quote:
Friday, August 8, 2014

You are reading from the book Today's Gift

The important thing is not to conquer but to have fought at all.
—Olympic motto

People come from all over the world to participate in the Olympics, and they come with a wide range of talent. A lot of them know they will not win a medal, yet they have trained hard for their event. They meet people from all corners of the earth who love the same activity.

There is a contagious joy and excitement the athletes share in their time together. It is a sense that the sharing of worldwide joy and peace is indeed possible.

Whether we succeed or fail in what we do is not the essential thing. What is important is the heart with which we live our lives.

If I could share something with the world, what would it be?
That addiction and alcoholism are family disease. In most cases, the family choose other substance and behaviours, like caretaking and enabling.

The Steps of recovery are applicable to family and friends of alcoholics/addicts.
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Old 08-09-2014, 02:34 AM   #9
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Saturday, August 9, 2014

You are reading from the book Today's Gift

What is without periods of rest will not endure.
—Ovid

When we are tired, we need to stop and give ourselves time to rest. Sometimes we think we can't spare the time. But without rest, all our activity soon becomes a burden and there is no joy in it. Animals know it is necessary to take time to rest. This is part of the rhythm of life: activity and rest, effort and relaxation.

Our bad moods are often our body's way of telling us we need rest. When we were little, we needed naps. Somehow, we forget to allow ourselves this right when we are older. We are wise to remember we never outgrow this need for rest to make the day go better.

When we return to our day refreshed, we have given ourselves and all those around us the gift of ourselves at our best.

What can I do better when I am rested?
What we can give is our whole selves. We need to feed the body, mind, and spirit the food it needs to restore us.

Then what I do is pray and ask that I be a channel, and given the inner knowing that I need each day to stay clean and sober, each day.

When my son is in active addiction, I often feel like I am caught up in the old craziness, and I need to go to my God and work my program daily. It isn't about him, it is about me and my attitude and my recovery. He chooses to use, that is his choice. Just for today, I choose not to use and I need what I need for my own peace of mind.
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Old 08-10-2014, 02:22 AM   #10
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Sunday, August 10, 2014
You are reading from the book Today's Gift
It may be those who do most, dream most.
—Stephen Leacock

Where would we be without the dreamers of the world - the ones who took the time to balance on the edge of wonder? Amazing connections, powerful images, and creative ideas come to us in daydreams. They creep in when we least expect them, like sleek cats, and then make their presence known to us with a gentle pounce.

When we give ourselves permission to daydream - to sit for a while and do nothing but be quiet with our thoughts, we give ourselves a precious gift. And who knows, we just might be giving the world a priceless gift, too! Out of the seeds of some of our dreams, great ideas will blossom.

What first step can I take today to make a dream come true?
The first thing would be to pray. Then I would wait and let the faith come in to replace the fear. Then it would be up to do my part, to let go of the old to make room for the new.
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Old 08-11-2014, 03:33 AM   #11
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Monday, August 11, 2014

You are reading from the book Today's Gift

Friends are people who help you be more yourself, more the person you are intended to be.
—Merle Shain

Sometimes a teacher, sometimes a neighbor, almost always our moms and dads encourage us to try new activities or to improve our schoolwork, sports, drawing, or gardening. Because they are our friends, they want us to be the best we can be.

Not everyone knows how to be a friend. Some people only criticize and never praise. People who never encourage or praise us are usually unhappy with their own achievements. They don't mean us harm. Perhaps they just need a friend, too. Not only do we each need friends to help us grow, we need to be friends to others. To encourage and praise those who need it will help us in return.

Whose friend can I be today?
I was told it was best to be my own best friend. Willing to be a friend of anyone who asks.

As they say in Al-Anon, "Let us love you until you can love yourself." That kept me coming back to meetings.
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Old 08-12-2014, 06:05 AM   #12
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Tuesday, August 12, 2014

You are reading from the book Today's Gift

I don't think of all the misery, but of the beauty that still remains.
—Anne Frank

We don't find the rewards of today by searching through our misfortunes. Pausing to seek out something good for everything we find bad is a step in the right direction. We may find the good outweighs the bad.

But how much more chance we will have of living a happy day if we skip over our setbacks and concentrate as much as we can on what is going well. It is smarter to look for diamonds in a diamond mine than in a garbage dump.

Let us discard our failures, using only what we have learned from them to achieve success. Looking back at missed opportunities will make it impossible for us to recognize new chances to enjoy life to the fullest. Looking only for beauty is a beautiful thing in itself.

What beauty can I see around me right now?
The greatest thing is that I am still clean and sober.

Thanks to the program, I can see beyond what is in front of me and can see the beauty in things. Nothing is all positive or negative, there is a reality in there which shows my God's love and their God working in the life of someone or thing.

There is beauty to find in God's Handy Work. The picture that came to mind was old wood, wire and weeds, but when I look again, I can see the flowers on the weeds. I can look at the wood and wire and look and for some beauty in them, be it the way it is composed, the job they did in the past but can no longer do, and so much more. My God is everywhere.
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Old 08-13-2014, 02:46 AM   #13
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Wednesday, August 13, 2014

You are reading from the book Today's Gift

Many of our fears are tissue-paper-thin, and a single courageous step would carry us clear through them.
—Brendan Francis

There was a huge slide at the park and Jason was afraid to go on it. There were so many steps to climb to reach the top. All of his friends were climbing up the steps and yelling as they came down the long rolling slide.

"Come on," said his friend Steve. "It's lots of fun!"

"Isn't it scary?" asked Jason.

"A little bit," answered Steve, "but you get used to it." He ran off to go again.

Jason walked to the steps of the slide, his heart pounding in his chest. Slowly he placed his foot on the first step and lifted himself up. Courageously he climbed the ladder. When he reached the high platform he felt as if he were standing on top of the world.

We can learn from Jason that by taking that first step we can experience many exciting and wonderful things. We have all done it before, on the slide, on a bicycle, in school. Why not again?

What fear can I walk through today?
My biggest fear, my son may choose to carry the message,"To use is to die."

It is a daily fear that I have to let go of every time he disrespects my space by coming in after using. I set boundaries, reset boundaries, and he disregards them, thinking it is his right, I was a bad mother when I was in my own addiction. Even in recovery, he can't get past what was and the person who is in today. He finds it quite enjoyable to rub the past in my face. All I know was that I was the best mom I could be. I spent my money to make him look good, and trying to put food on the table for him. I know that I don't have to continue to pay for my actions, words and deeds, I had to learn to forgive myself.
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Old 08-14-2014, 06:50 AM   #14
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Thursday, August 14, 2014

You are reading from the book Today's Gift

The moment an individual can accept and forgive himself, even a little, is the moment in which he becomes to some degree lovable.
—Eugene Kennedy

If we owe a bill and pay it in full, do we return to pay that same bill over and over again? If we did, someone would surely question what was wrong with us. Yet, how often do we ask forgiveness for the same thing over and over again?

How wonderful to know that we do not have to condemn ourselves, even for not living up to a goal we have set for ourselves. Once we say we are sorry, we need to be willing to forgive ourselves. After all, how else do we learn and grow except by mistakes?

When we have forgiven ourselves, we become free to take risks again without fear of unforgivable failure, and who knows what new successes we might attain?

Is there something I can forgive myself for today?
For sleeping all day, just found out that my son didn't call when he came in from work, because he felt like I needed the rest. I had called him to tell him I wanted up, and he told me if I looked more at my health than my TV shows, I would feel better. I forgot to set the alarm. ;(

I didn't appreciate Him playing god with my life. I wanted to get my days and night back in their right place, but then I realized it had to be the right time for me. I do have a lot of day time appointments to get to for the next two weeks.

I had to forgive myself and him!
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Old 08-15-2014, 04:34 AM   #15
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Friday, August 15, 2014

You are reading from the book Today's Gift

Roots nourish, give us life and bind us safely to earth. Plant them well.
—Anonymous

All trees have different root systems. The pine grows quickly, with shallow roots that spread in every direction. A maple is a slow-growing tree, whose roots run deeper, seeking out moisture far into the earth. Both root systems give life, but when the weather turns stormy and the wind howls through the branches, the maple, with its deeper roots, will hold fast. Though the pine grows faster and needs only surface moisture, it cannot withstand the storm as well.

We often want things immediately. We want to play the piano, but only if we can learn it fast. We want others to love us right away, or we'll give up on them. If something we're doing doesn't go just so right from the start, we give up.

But the permanent things in life take time to develop. If we want our relationships, our skills, our accomplishments, to resist the storms we all encounter, we must allow time for them to grow and deepen within us, and marvel, in the meantime, at how much we can learn from the world around us.

What deep roots am I setting down right now?
Not sure I am setting down new one, but growing in the ones already in place. I know they need to be nurtured and life is about body, mind and spirit.

If I don't nourish, I become a dry drunk, or an old sober side, and/or a crotchety person no one wants to be around. You can call me all kinds of things, but you should hear the words I call myself. Just for today, I choose not to abuse myself or others. I like to give and share TLC, it is applicable to all things.
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