Today's Gift for Families - April 2014

[MajestyJo]

Wednesday, April 16, 2014

You are reading from the book Today's Gift

. . . there is as much dignity in tilling a field as in writing a poem.

—Booker T. Washington

It's not what we do for a job that counts, it's how we do it. It's not what our chores at home might be, it's how we do them. And it's not what grades we get in school, but rather how hard we try. Doing our best, whether it's making a bed, writing a report, or listening to a friend tell about an experience gives us a good feeling about ourselves.

Each of us is special to one another. And we are special to this very moment. Because what is past can't be repeated, let's remember to enjoy every moment as it comes. Let's pay close attention to each person, each activity that we encounter today. It's not what we do today, but how we do it that counts.

Can I do each thing well today, even the small things?

Like this, affirms my own belief. It isn't so much what you say or what you do, it is how you say and do it! Words and actions can make a difference, when you watch how they are spoken and acted out. Again, all we are asked to do is try. Just because we make a mistake, doesn't mean we are one. It is how you pick yourself up and try again. You can't undo your actions, and even saying sorry, doesn't cut it after it is heard time and again. It is about learning from our mistakes and trying not to do them again.

[MajestyJo]

Thursday, April 17, 2014

You are reading from the book Today's Gift

If your heart catches in your throat, ask a bird how she sings.

—Cooper Edens

The idea of your heart getting caught in your throat and then asking a bird how she sings may seem silly. It is, but being silly is sometimes exactly what we need. Instead of always trying to figure out the lumps in our throats, we can learn how to sing with them.

Birds sing all day. Their songs are lighthearted and playful. And they bring us color along with their songs. We have all stopped to notice a special bird outside the window. A bird song can be a lullaby. It can be laughter. We need these things in our lives, too. By playing and laughing, we change the lumps in our throats to songs.

What sadness can I turn into song today?

This really spoke to me. Lately, I have been losing my voice several times a day, and never associated it with sadness. I have seen it as words that haven't been expressed, words that have been suppressed, because they were better left unsaid. When I don''t get out much, and I am isolated, my vocal chords aren't used very often. My fingers do my talking in today.

[MajestyJo]

Friday, April 18, 2014

You are reading from the book Today's Gift

Gifts are for giving.

—Ian and Sylvia Tyson

Many years ago, a young woman named Dorothy was very talented at china painting. She painted tiny scenes on china dishes, the way people today paint on wood and Easter eggs.

Then Dorothy fell in love, got married, and decided she had no time to paint. But as her children grew, they loved to stand at the china cabinet and stare at all her tiny pictures--each one seemed to hold its own special world.

Years passed and Dorothy's grandchildren also loved to stand and stare at the paintings. Everybody loved her work. They wondered why she didn't take up painting again, but she wouldn't say. Her love of painting seemed to be locked away.

When we give up some talent of our own because we don't have time for it, we lock away part of ourselves. When we imprison our talents, we limit our possibilities. But when we make self-expression a natural part of our day, others can gather around and enjoy the results. There is always room for our talents because they create worlds of their own.

Am I locking something away because I don't have the time?

For me it is bridge, I haven't played for about 3 years. First it was the medication the doctor's put me on, then it was too expensive and the spare change didn't seem to be there, yet I had 3 free coupons in my wallet. I blamed my son, because if I had spare change in my purse, he took it for 'coffee' because he thought that what is mine is his. It got so that I was hiding money, and a few times, couldn't find where I had put it.

The games the "A" plays when in active addiction, and yet by allowing it to happen, is just as much my fault as his. I sent him away from my door time and again. He would come back, take and go back out and use someone else. I know that for many years he was my addiction, I couldn't say "No!" and lived my life through him, and put my life on hold.

When he first went into detox and recovery, I stopped going to AA, NA, and CA to give him the freedom to go where he needed to be and I just went to Al-Anon. I would go to day meetings once in a while, because I can never forget where I came from. I needed to put priorities back in my life. Letting go of what is fun and necessary in my life, doesn't make it healthy, especially when done for the wrong reasons.

[MajestyJo]

Saturday, April 19, 2014

You are reading from the book Today's Gift

Inch by inch, row by row
Someone bless these seeds I sow...
'Til the rain comes tumblin' down.

—David Mallett

We plant a garden with faith, never knowing exactly what the harvest will bring. We attend to those aspects of gardening, which we have some control over, planting good seeds in rich soil, in straight rows, the right distance apart. We weed and fertilize, and we tie up our tomato plants.

We may pray for rain, but we never know if we'll get too much or too little. We can't control the wind or rabbits or bugs or the strongest strains of weeds. Yet most of us don't let these things keep us from planting.

With this same sort of faith we can tend to ourselves. Though we don't know what each day will bring, we can plant the seeds in ourselves to meet most anything. We can rise each morning determined to give what we have. We can't plant the seeds for others, and we can't keep the storms from coming. The beauty is, we don't have to.

What seeds of joy can I plant today?

Our children have their own Higher Power and we aren't it.

[MajestyJo]

Sunday, April 20, 2014

You are reading from the book Today's Gift

Hurried and worried until we're buried
And there's no curtain call,
Life's a very funny proposition,
after all.

—George M. Cohan

Often, when we involve ourselves in a whirlwind of activities, plans, and expectations, we push ourselves so hard that we don't derive any satisfaction from success. We need to face our limitations. We can't do everything we want. Even when we can do a great deal, if we overextend ourselves, take on too much, we will not enjoy ourselves, and there is no reason not to enjoy our work.

Our activities are part of what we are. If we choose to live in a frantic hurry, worrying about the next moment instead of this one, we'll miss life entirely. Part of self-knowledge is learning to pace ourselves to our own speed, learning to set goals we can attain for each day. When we do this, we can say, "Now that I've completed this, I don't have to do one more thing to feel worthwhile."

Am I trying to do too much too fast?

Many get the idea that if they rush through the steps, they will be all better. They don`t realize that when you get to 12, you start again on Step One. I do Steps 1-3 every morning. When anything comes up in my day to day living and is rooted in the past, I apply Steps 4-9, and to maintain my emotional sobriety, I works Steps 10-12.

The program is not a quick fix, it is a living program, that helps me deal with life one day at a time.

[MajestyJo]

Monday, April 21, 2014

You are reading from the book Today's Gift

In grief, healing helps us make peace with the meaning of death, which cannot be understood except as an unknown part of life.
—Alla Bozarth-Campbell

It is a sad occasion when we must say goodbye to a loved one or pet who has died. But grief is the only way we can come to understand our losses, and sharing grief helps us experience it more fully.

Perhaps we wish to grieve for something else we've lost, like fading youth, a job, a possession, or a habit we had come to enjoy. It's natural to feel grief over things like this, too.

We can share stories and good memories with other grievers, and give free reign to our tears. Sometimes it seems the more we talk, the sadder we feel about our losses, but when we share these feelings with others, we turn our losses into gain. We heal ourselves, pay tribute to those we grieve for, and share an intimate sense of loss with someone else.

Do I have grief to share?

Think I am already grieving my son's departure although he doesn't leave for another ten days. Always grief for what could have been, what could I have done different, is it all my fault, etc?

[MajestyJo]

Tuesday, April 22, 2014

You are reading from the book Today's Gift

I meant to do my work today
But a brown bird sang in an apple tree,
And a butterfly flitted across the field,
And all the leaves were calling me.

—Richard LeGallienne

The harried hen scurried about her house, trying to put it in order. Some friends she hadn't seen for years were due to arrive later that day, and she wanted everything perfect for them. In a flurry, she made the bed, put away the dishes, and scrubbed the floor. Oh dear, she thought in dismay, I meant to wash the sheets today. Frantically, she flew back to the bedroom and tore the sheets from the made bed.

Just then, a neighbor arrived and stood at hen's door, watching her anxiously rush about. "Dear hen," he said in a patient loving tone, for he was quite fond of her, "You will never enjoy your visit if you continue to race about. Come. Sit and rest and tell me of these friends. Have you any snapshots?" The hen did as her neighbor had suggested, and soon her friends arrived to find her relaxed, refreshed, and warm with the memories of them.

What is my real work for the day?

For me, first things first, which is my sobriety. Sobriety to me is soundness of mind. I need to apply the Steps to all areas of my life. Being an alcoholic, addict, codependent, adult child of an alcoholic, but that doesn't define who I am. I am not my disease. I have to allow the program to work, and look at myself, instead of looking out to find something or someone to make me feel better.

[MajestyJo]

Wednesday, April 23, 2014

You are reading from the book Today's Gift

Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear not absence of fear.
—Mark Twain

It is not unusual to feel afraid. It is unusual, however, to hear anyone admit to feeling afraid. Sometimes we think there are some people who are so cool and calm that they never feel afraid. This may make us think we're not as good because we know how often we feel afraid. This is why it is important to think about what courage really is. It is not the absence of fear. Courage is not letting fear stop us from doing what we need to do.

We might have to get up in front of a group to give a speech. We could give in to our fear and not give the speech, or we could admit our fear to those who love us, and then go ahead and do the best we can. To go ahead in the face of fear is courage.

What am I afraid of?

Love the quote, we overcome our fears instead of trying to make them all go away.

When I went to see an intuitive healer many years ago, they say that issues with our feet and ankles, represented insecurities.
My meditation last night affirmed that, the thought of not being able to get around, makes me fearful. Fear of walking and falling down and not being able to get back up.

The difference today, it isn't about falling into active addiction, and it isn't about falling because I am drunk or stoned, but every day issues and not being able to take care of myself in my own apartment.

God and I have to do some more work on that. I know He is there for me, but more importantly, I need to be there for myself and practice self-care. To do that, I need to replenish my faith, and go to my God for the strength, courage, and what ever else I need to live in today, clean and sober.

Even though I haven't used drugs and alcohol, I have to work on my emotional sobriety, and change all obsessive, compulsive disorders thinking and actions, into something healthy and balance my life, so there are not those extreme highs and lows.

[MajestyJo]

Thursday, April 24, 2014

You are reading from the book Today's Gift

My life has been a tapestry of rich and royal hue, An everlasting vision of the ever changing view, A wondrous woven magic in bits of blue and gold, A tapestry to feel and see, impossible to hold.
—Carole King

Our lives are patchwork quilts of mismatched fabrics, all stitched together by an invisible seamstress. The tattered, blood-red scraps of quarrels, the beige of pastry crust baked on Saturdays in a grandmother's kitchen that always smelled sweet, the brilliant colors of our happy moments-picnics and sunsets and laughter-all these are necessary pieces of the tapestry of our lives, even our cold, white doubts and emptiness.

All the colors of life sewn together with the green thread of growth. We are a mixture of feelings and experiences. Often, we want to cut away a square of painful memory. But without it, our quilt would lose its beauty, for contrast would disappear. If a piece is removed, the rest is weakened and incomplete.

How well can I accept any pain I feel today as a part of my own beauty?

This is a hard one! Especially, with my left toe, foot and ankle all swollen and red. The problem is that there isn't much pain, so therefore I didn't pay much attention. It should be there, so the circulation is bad in my body, which I know and yet discounted it. Perhaps, because I have had pain in some form or another all of my life.

They say never fear, what you fear you will attract. One of my fears has always been not being able to get around and doing what I want to do when I want to do it.

[MajestyJo]

Friday, April 25, 2014

You are reading from the book Today's Gift

Unused capacities atrophy, cease to be.
—Tillie Olsen

Those of us who have suffered a broken bone and had to put up with a cast for several weeks know how hard it is to use muscles that have been inactive for so long. They have gotten weak from lack of use, and we have to begin to develop our strength all over again.

The same thing happens if we don't use our other capacities. If we don't constantly use our minds to think and learn, we become dull people, almost incapable of new thoughts and insights. If we don't use our hearts to love, we become uncaring and insensitive - much like Scrooge in A Christmas Carol. If we don't use our creative talents - to draw or write or sew, or whatever it is we're into - we lose the ability to do those things.

On the other hand, like our muscles, our other capacities can be strengthened and developed by daily use. We exercise our hearts by being kind and loving, our minds by thinking, our imaginations by being creative. In this way, we become spiritually powerful, a force for good in the world.

How can I exercise my assets today?

Know my humor is a bit sick, but saw this and thought, ¨Do not assume, it makes an a$$ out of you and me.¨

For me, the best thing I can do is get out of my own way and allow my God to work through me, instead of around, over, and act in spite of me.

[MajestyJo]

Saturday, April 26, 2014

You are reading from the book Today's Gift

"The horror of that moment," the King went on, "I shall never forget." "You will, though," the Queen said, "if you don't make a memorandum of it."
—Lewis Carroll

Crises come in many forms. When we are in the middle of any kind of crisis, we may feel like we have fallen into a deep hole. We may see no way out and begin to feel hopeless and overwhelmed by the size and darkness of the hole.

Yet we are not alone. An animal caught in a hole would cry out until someone came along and helped it out. We, too, can call out for help - to our Higher Power and to the important people in our lives. We can learn to trust that, with the help of our friends and our Higher Power, we will be able to crawl out of our holes.

With trust, we will climb out of our crises and be healed with the passage of time. Such holes are a part of our landscape, yet every time we will be able to climb out and walk, leaving the darkness behind us.

What help can I ask for today?

How can I ask for help, pray, call my sponsor, go to a meeting (any meeting), call a friend, preferably a member of the fellowship. As it says in the Bible, "Ask and you will receive." You need to accept how it comes, even if it is unknown and an unlikely source.

Yesterday, as a result of prayer and meditation, I got a call from the Holistic Center. They could have called anyone but they chose me to fill the cancellation. It may have been because I live close, but that is besides the point. I got what I needed. When the treatment was finished, I was walked to the elevator and I asked for a hug.

[MajestyJo]

Sunday, April 27, 2014
You are reading from the book Today's Gift
Crying only a little bit is no use. You must cry until your pillow is soaked. Then you can get up and laugh . . .
—Galway Kinnell

Many of us were raised to deny our feelings; that is, we might have been allowed to describe them politely, but we were not allowed to express feelings on the spot by wailing, jumping for joy, or dancing. This is often considered rude. In a proper home, we often hear, if people have feelings, they have them quietly. But many of us have suffered living this way.

We need a full and thorough expression of a feeling in order to know it, experience it, and move beyond it. This is the way we let go of sadness, for instance.

Feelings come and go. If we are not afraid to let them have their moment, we will not be afraid to express them.

What am I feeling right now?

Very sad and very blessed.

[MajestyJo]

Monday, April 28, 2014

You are reading from the book Today's Gift

I will not cut my conscience to fit this year's fashions.
—Lillian Hellman

Every fall there seems to be something new and different to get for school - a special folder, a new style of pants, or maybe a different haircut. These things change from year to year.

Sometimes we get carried away with the current trends. We start putting too much importance on such things. We may be tempted to join our friends in teasing someone who doesn't wear the "right" clothes, or avoid someone who doesn't say the "right" things. This is when we need God's help.

Perhaps we can become the leaders for the next trend - looking beyond appearances of others to the beauty inside them.

Will I see the true value in those around me today?

A good one, it is so easy into trying to fit in, follow our peers and do things that are not us!

I was having a chuckle with my son last night. I said, "There would have been a time that I wouldn't have been caught dead in what I am wearing." He said, "Don't worry mother, there are people who would like the combination you are wearing. I had on avocado green, navy and white striped pedal pushers, green and white socks, and a pink top with purple, green, yellow, and gold dotted decal in the front. Gruesome! Enough to give me nightmares if I think about it. For Ms. Perfection, this was a big step. It is good except, that the thinking behind the actions was, "I don't care, which is NOT good."

[MajestyJo]

Tuesday, April 29, 2014

You are reading from the book Today's Gift

If there is a God, there must also be a Goddess. Neither is more important than the other, both are in balance, together they create a Whole.
—Marion Weinstein

In the olden days, the Goddess was seen as a Trinity: the Maiden or Virgin, the Mother, and the Crone. The Virgin was one-in-herself, owned by no man. The Mother was the one in the fullness of her creative powers, whether creating children, works of art, or other work out in the world. The Crone was the wise old woman.

Both women and men connected with the Triple Goddess. To women, the Goddess was a symbol of their innermost selves and the beneficent, nurturing, liberating power within. The Crone, for example, showed them that all phases of life are sacred, that age is a blessing rather than a curse. To men, the Goddess represented their connection with their own hidden female selves.

We are all made up of aspects of both sexes. This is our balance. When we accept what we know to be truly ourselves, which is often much more than the old role models for men and women allow, we become complete men and women.

What male and female strengths do I have within me?

The male is our survivor side. My female side is our nurturing side. It was about 8 years sober, when I did a meditation and the message I got was, "Your female side is languishing." Just love that word. I found it to be quite true. I was a jean, black t-shirt, hat, jacket, and boot kind of person. Three days later, a friend called to say she had some things he had outgrown and would fit me, would I be offended if she brought them to me. I ended up with dresses and skirts.

[MajestyJo]

Wednesday, April 30, 2014
You are reading from the book Today's Gift
The soul would have no rainbow had the eyes no tears.
—John Vance Cheney

If there were no rain, fields would become parched and brittle, and many creatures would die. If we could not cry, all our emotions would eventually dry up, too, and soon we would not laugh either. Our tears cleanse us. Our tears heal. They make us whole.

Tears are as important to our growth as rain is to a flower. They help release the pressure of sadness so we can feel better. After a storm, when the sun shines again through the clouds, a brightly colored rainbow appears. After our tears, our inner sun shines, and rainbows are formed from our pain.

How well can I accept my tears as part of my happiness today?

Tears of happiness is good. They are cleansing and good for the soul too. I am really hurting today because of the weather and I think my emotional and mental state due to my son`s action, or non-actions and not getting on the bus and following through with his plan. I am powerless, except to pray. I can`t allow my pain to dictate my life. I can`t allow it to take away the happiness of a moment.