Today's Thought - April

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April 16

Two things a man should never be angry at: what he can help, and what he cannot help.
--Thomas Fuller

In the Serenity Prayer, we pray for the wisdom to know the difference between what we can change and what we cannot. That distinction can be hard for many of us to recognize. When we finally see the reality clearly – that some things we face cannot be controlled by our own will or fixed by force – new possibilities open up to us. When we stop trying to move a mountain, our relationship to the mountain changes. We start to live at peace with the mountain. At the same time we can take greater responsibility for those parts of our lives that we can change.

Peace of mind comes from accepting what we can do nothing about and taking responsibility for what we can.

Today I pray for the wisdom that helps me know the difference.

You are reading from the book:

Wisdom to Know by Anonymous

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April 17

Resolve to be thyself; and know that who finds himself, loses his misery.
--Matthew Arnold

Our need for approval compels us to try to look good - no matter what's going on. We imagine that somehow everything will be okay as long as it looks okay. Our hearts may be breaking from fear, disillusionment, and rejection, real or imagined, but we keep smiling so that no one will guess. Why do we do this to ourselves? Is it so hard to turn to a friend and say, "Hey, I'm hurting. I've been having a bad time and I need help"? Would the earth tremble if we said it right out, just like that?

We're not likely to get what we don't ask for. Instead of denying that our knees are shaking, our hands are sweating, and our stomachs are in torment, we can admit and share the truth. We don't have to say "Fine!" when someone in the program asks us how we're doing. Our real friends aren't impressed by stiff upper lips; they're impressed by personal honesty.

Today, I will tell someone the truth about how I feel. If I'm not fine I won't say that I am.

You are reading from the book:

Days of Healing, Days of Joy by Earnie Larsen and Carol Larsen Hegarty

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April 18

My father taught me that only through self-discipline
can you achieve freedom.
Pour water into a cup and you can drink.
Without the cup, the water would splash over.
The cup is discipline.
--Ricardo Montalban


It is no accident that the words discipline and disciple come from the same root. To be a disciple of any path, one must be disciplined. Life works best when we learn to discipline ourselves.

Discipline liberates rather than confines you. Discipline allows you to function with ease and grace. After years of practicing his strokes, a tennis player can hit the ball without having to think about it. What once took conscious effort is now second nature.

Unfortunately, many of us had discipline forced upon us as children. Naturally, we rebelled against an externally imposed structure. We were not shown that true discipline always comes from within, and the motivation for that urge is love. When we are doing what we love, when we are pursuing something that has meaning, discipline comes naturally. As one Olympic athlete explained, "I don't mind working out every day. Because I love what I am doing, my training is not a burden but a joy."

Discipline is your ticket to freedom and path to excellence. Choose to be disciplined in all your endeavors and become the master of yourself and your life.

You are reading from the book:

Listening to Your Inner Voice by Douglas Bloch

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April 19

People are lonely because they build walls instead of bridges.
--Joseph Fort Newton

Remember building snow forts? After a sticky snowfall we'd build a big snow wall. Then we'd mass-produce snowballs, preparing for battle. The team who built the best snow fort usually won, for their wall provided the best protection.

Are we still playing snow fort when we meet new people or spend time with family? Each of us has a wall we started building in our childhood. Each time we were hurt, we would fortify the wall to offer greater protection. We may not even realize it now, but we may have such strong, high walls in front of us that even the most ardent friends can't get over them.

We may feel protected behind our wall, but we may also feel lonely. Walls are built to keep people out. To feel less lonely, we need to make a little crawl space to let people in. We don't have to destroy our walls in one day, but perhaps we can let at least one person in. We will learn, one person at a time, what it feels like to be less protected, and less lonely.

I can make an opening in my wall of protection and let someone get to know me. I will be safe.

You are reading from the book:

Night Light by Amy E. Dean

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April 20

When love beckons to you, follow him, though his ways are hard and steep.
--Kahlil Gibran

There will be many opportunities to express love in the days ahead, and some may be cloaked in harsh wrappings. Perhaps an argument will wound and then be healed by the exchange of loving words and intimate gestures.

Maybe a friend or lover will be called away for a while, and the painful loneliness will make us question our commitment to love. Yet, in loving unconditionally, we'll find peace.

Love, though a soft word and a gentle image, doesn't always promise us soft, gentle moments. Sometimes love offers us a pained heart and empty arms. We know love comforts, but not always. Love heals, but in its own time. The desire to know love draws us together, always.

You are reading from the book:

Worthy of Love by Karen Casey

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April 21

Quiet My Mind

Dear Lord,

Teach me to quiet my mind.

Stop my thoughts from racing from one thing to another.

Stop me from the obsessive thinking about the lives of others.

Help me rest and quiet my mind.

Help me let go of trying to control the lives of others.

Free my mind to be at rest.

This I pray.

You are reading from the book:

The 12 Step Prayer Book Volume 2 by Bill P. and Lisa D.

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April 22

How can I believe in a Higher Power? I was taught that God is just an idea that weak people use as a crutch.
--Alcoholics Anonymous member

After we admit how serious our addiction is, we have to face our fear and sadness. Without the help of a Higher Power, we are hopeless. That's why we each must find a Higher Power that can give us the help we need.

Some of us don't like Step Two because we think it asks us to believe in somebody else's idea of God. It doesn't. It doesn't even ask us to believe in our own idea of God. The most important thing is to find a Higher Power – not necessarily the Highest Power – to help us stay sober, one that can teach us to succeed in sobriety and one that we trust.

We don't have to understand this Higher Power. We just have to believe that it works.

Prayer for the Day

Higher Power, I ask You to come into my life and show me how to trust and understand You.

Today's Action

Today I will make a list of three people or things that know more about recovery than I do. I will circle the one I trust the most.

You are reading from the book:

God Grant Me... by Anonymous

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April 23

Let go of resentments

Resentments are sneaky, tricky little things. They can convince us they're justified. They can dry up our hearts. They can sabotage our happiness. They can sabotage love.

Most of us have been at the receiving end of an injustice at some time in our lives. Most of us know someone who's complained of an injustice we've done to him or her. Life can be a breeding ground for resentments, if we let it.

"Yes, but this time I really was wronged," we complain.

Maybe you were. But harboring resentment isn't the solution. If it were, our resentment list would resemble the Los Angeles telephone directory. Deal with your feelings. Learn whatever lesson is at hand. Then let the feelings go.

Resentments are a coping behavior, a tool of someone settling for survival in life. They're a form or revenge. The problem is, no matter whom we're resenting, the anger is ultimately directed against ourselves.

Take a moment. Search your heart. Have you tricked yourself into harboring resentment? If you have, take another moment and let that resentment go.

God, grant me the serenity that acceptance brings.

You are reading from the book:

More Language of Letting Go by Melody Beattie

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April 24

Gratitude is larger than life.

One day, a friend called me on the phone. He was going through a difficult time and wondering if and when things would ever turn around and improve. I knew he was in a lot of pain, I didn't know then that he was considering suicide.

"If you could give a person only one thing to help them," he said, "what would it be?"

I thought carefully about his question, and then I replied, "It's not one thing, it's two: gratitude and letting go." Gratitude for everything, not just the things we consider good or a blessing. And letting go of everything we can't change.

A few years have passed since that day my friend called me on the phone. His life has turned around. His financial problems have sorted themselves out. His career has shifted. The two very large problems he was facing at that time have both sorted themselves out.

Someone once asked the artist Georgia O'Keeffe why her paintings magnified the size of small objects - the petals on a flower - making them appear larger than life, and reduced the size of large objects - like mountains - making them smaller than life. "Everyone sees the big things," she said. "But these smaller things are so beautiful and people might not notice them if I didn't emphasize them."

That's the way it is with gratitude and letting go. It's easy to see the problems in our lives. They're like mountains. But sometimes we overlook the smaller things; we don't notice how truly beautiful they are.

God, teach me to use gratitude and letting go to reduce the size of my problems.

You are reading from the book:

More Language of Letting Go by Melody Beattie

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April 25

The future you shall know when it has come; before then, forget it.
-- Aeschylus

The Fellowship keeps us grounded in the current moment. We learn to live today. Our planning and scheming and dreaming about tomorrow becomes less time consuming. The idea of living one day at a time makes sense to us. Our Program teaches us that life is not about to happen, it is happening, and each moment is important.

When we concentrated only on the future, we couldn't be happy with today. We thought if we could only get to tomorrow, things would be better. Tomorrow never comes, so we were always trapped in a hopeless situation. Now we live one day at a time, and grow moment by moment.

Recovery is about today and living life in the present. Since I no longer have to manage the universe, I have only myself to worry about today. I can let my Higher Power take care of tomorrow.

You are reading from the book:

Easy Does It by Anonymous

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April 26

Speaking from the Heart

Through fellowship, we offer each other mutual support. Since we believe that the Higher Power works through the group, what one of us is prompted to say is probably just what another member needs to hear.

Sometimes we are reluctant to speak of what is in our heart for fear of being embarrassed, belittled, or betrayed. We are so accustomed to masking our true feelings that we often lose touch with them. In the program we are assured that what we say will be received in a spirit of acceptance and love. We do not need to be afraid of revealing our deeper selves.

It is a healing experience to belong to a group, which is dedicated to honest communication with a minimum of game playing. When we make a genuine attempt to describe where we are in our program, we are met with a warm and supportive response. Our Higher Power opens the way for meaningful communication and mutual love.

Open our hearts to You and to each other.

You are reading from the book:

Food for Thought by Elisabeth L.

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April 27

Where the willingness is great, the difficulties cannot be great.
--Niccolo Machiavelli

Acceptance may be one of the most difficult things to learn, for it means we must give up the desire to control our life and its outcome. Once we have truly received this great gift we will learn that acceptance need not take away our strength - on the contrary, we will have an inner strength we never thought possible.

When we decided to meet the challenge of a sober life we took the first step toward acceptance - we accepted the fact that we have a disease, a chronic disease that will always be with us. By accepting this fact we will be able to cope with our lifelong struggle. This way we willingly accept the friendship of our group members and the wisdom they offer us. They have been where we are coming from, they have suffered as we suffer, and they have felt the hope we now feel.

We are being offered a way of life that, if we follow it, will bring us a peace of mind we may never have felt. By our surrender we are now willing to receive something that is being offered to us - the beginning of a new way of life.

Today let me accept my powerlessness and any help.

You are reading from the book:

Body, Mind, and Spirit by Anonymous

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April 28

Taking it slowly

Let's not make haste and demand perfection at once - this would only blind us. If we are impatient, we cannot work a daily program. But by exercising patience, we learn to recognize daily opportunities for growth.

It is worth waiting for, striving for, and working to develop a relationship with our Higher Power. It cannot be done overnight. Let's not go too fast, but count each day as a new opportunity.

Am I learning to take it slowly?

Higher Power, I pray that I may meet each day with patience and grow closer to You.

You are reading from the book:

Day by Day - Second Edition by Anonymous

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April 29

Happy people are likeable

Personal Relations

Who are the people we really like, and like to be with? Most of the time, they are happy people, people who like themselves and others.

Being happy is almost the entire secret of being likeable. Though no person can expect to be liked by everybody, the likeable people have the inside track most of the time.

How do we become happy and thus likeable? We're continuously told that happiness cannot be found in property, power, and prestige. It is rooted instead in self-acceptance, in feeling loved and wanted, and in giving genuine service, maybe just in the form of very useful work.

Twelve Step programs are structured to make us happy if we persevere long enough in working the individual steps. While it may seem contradictory, even people with heavy burdens and personal sorrows can find underlying happiness in the program. A great deal of this also hinges on our belief in a Higher Power and a confidence that we have a place in the universal system.

I can be happy today in spite of things that others would consider burdensome and depressing. Happiness really comes from God, and it also serves to attract friends into my life.

You are reading from the book:

Walk in Dry Places by Mel B.

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April 30

Patience is a particular requirement. Without it, you can destroy in an hour what it might take you weeks to repair.
--Charlie W. Shedd

Enjoying the moment, in its fullest, makes possible a peaceful and patient pace. Progress is guaranteed if our minds are centered in the present, on the only event deserving of our attention. We can be certain that error and frustration will haunt us if our attentions are divided.

Patience will see us through a troubled time, but how much easier it is to savor patience when it's accompanied by faith. We can know and fully trust that all is well - that our lives are on course - that individual experiences are exactly what we need at this moment. However, faith makes the knowing easier and the softness of the patient heart eases us through the times of challenge and uncertainty.

Patience slows me down long enough to notice another, and to be grateful for the gifts of the moment. Patience promises me the power to move forward with purpose. Today's fruits will be in proportion to my patience.

You are reading from the book:

The Promise of a New Day by Karen Casey and Martha Vanceburg