Being cared for when we aren't able to do the job ourselves seems part of all of us who are in recovery. Most of us without exception almost die from this illness in one form or another. Then something happens. For me I believe I was spared from death and entered into some sort of agreement, that I didn't know about that was foreign to me. I didn't think anything was different about me after the event that almost ended it all for me, but looking back I've been able to trace the seed of recovery to that time in my life. That's when these thoughts started that just seemed odd, but were very persistent almost hauntingly. I would wonder what my life would be like without me drinking and using drugs. I never had had thoughts like that before, just the opposite. Later when the opportunity for recovery was introduced to me it felt like I might find the answer to those thoughts, and be able to find that life. I could have ignore this opportunity for recovery, but for me it felt like I was obliged to keep my end of the agreement.