After we've reached recovery there's no going back because from this point forward we know. But because of our fears about recovery not being what we think our life should look like, we wish we could go back to that place where we didn't know. Well that's never to return, but that doesn't mean that we can't go looking for it, just that it's not there. So where do we go from here? Well that's up to each of us. I was told I was free to leave recovery and to go look for something that doesn't exist, and that if I made it back to recovery that maybe then I'd be more open to a life of recovery, and ready to move forward towards living that way. I never left. I couldn't see the point in looking for something that I knew wasn't there. This made it pretty easy to decide to jump into recovery with both feet. There is no going back.