Daily Practice - May

[bluidkiti]

May 1

Practice of the Day-
BB pg 97-
Ch 7-Working With Others:
(More 12th Step Promises)
Never avoid these responsibilities, but be sure you are doing the right thing if you assume them. Helping others is the foundation stone of your recovery. A kindly act once in a while isn't enough. You have to act the Good Samaritan every day, if need be. It may mean the loss of many nights' sleep, great interference with your pleasures, interruptions to your business. It may mean sharing your money and your home, counseling frantic wives and relatives, innumerable trips to police courts, sanitariums, hospitals, jails and asylums. Your telephone may jangle at any time of the day or night. Your wife may sometimes say she is neglected. A drunk may smash the furniture in your home, or burn a mattress. You may have to fight with him if he is violent. Sometimes you will have to call a doctor and administer sedatives under his direction. Another time you may have to send for the police or an ambulance. Occasionally you will have to meet such conditions.

-Tom-When my sponsor and I read this he said that if I am doing what I am supposed to be doing in AA, these Promises will come true like all the others. It’s a package Deal.
We talked a lot about one sentence “Helping others is the foundation stone of your recovery.”
He said “do you understand what that means, it means that if you are not helping others you do not have a Foundation in Recovery. If you want a solid Foundation in recovery, then you will help others. It’s your choice and both results are Guaranteed.
Today I pray that I remember that helping others is the Foundation of my recovery and I am Given the Strength to be helpful.

[bluidkiti]

May 2

Practice of the Day-
BB pg 66-67-
Ch 5- How It Works:
We turned back to the list, for it held the key to the future. We were prepared to look at it from an entirely different angle. We began to see that the world and its people really dominated us. In that state, the wrong-doing of others, fancied or real, had power to actually kill. How could we escape? We saw that these resentments must be mastered, but how? We could not wish them away any more than alcohol.
This was our course: We realized that the people who wronged us were perhaps spiritually sick.
Though we did not like their symptoms and the way these disturbed us, they, like ourselves, were sick too. We asked God to help us show them the same tolerance, pity, and patience that we would cheerfully grant a sick friend. When a person offended we said to ourselves, "This is a sick man. How can I be helpful to him? God save me from being angry. Thy will be done."
We avoid retaliation or argument. We wouldn't treat sick people that way. If we do, we destroy our chance of being helpful. We cannot be helpful to all people, but at least God will show us how to take a kindly and tolerant view of each and every one.

-Tom- I remember the first time I practiced the 4th Step prayer for when I was offended.
I was in the 82nd’s static line Jumpmaster course in the early 90s. One of the instructors was a complete ass and had a “protector of the tab” approach, put me in his sights and offended me, on purpose, unwarranted.
My normal response (before sobriety) would be to smile at him, then find him off post on the weekend and beat his ass.
However, the thought of this paragraph jumped in my mind. So begrudgingly, halfheartedly, with attitude, I said the prayer, and it worked. I was still mad but did not feel the need or desire to retaliate. That was huge progress for a guy like me.
I pray that today I remember that I always have the Power of Choice to pray, remain quite, or leave quickly in order to not react to someone that is sick .

[bluidkiti]

May 3

Practice of the Day-
BB pg 40-41
Ch 3- More About Alcoholism:
Let him tell you about it: "I was much impressed with what you fellows said about alcoholism, and I frankly did not believe it would be possible for me to drink again. I rather appreciated your ideas about the subtle insanity which precedes the first drink, but I was confident it could not happen to me after what I had learned. I reasoned I was not so far advanced as most of you fellows, that I had been usually successful in licking my other personal problems, and that I would therefore be successful where you men failed. I felt I had every right to be self-confident, that it would be only a matter of exercising my will power and keeping on guard.
"In this frame of mind, I went about my business and for a time all was well. I had no trouble refusing drinks, and began to wonder if I had not been making too hard work of a simple matter. One day I went to Washington to present some accounting evidence to a government bureau. I had been out of town before during this particular dry spell, so there was nothing new about that. Physically, I felt fine. Neither did I have any pressing problems or worries. My business came off well, I was pleased and knew my partners would be too. It was the end of a perfect day, not a cloud on the horizon.
"I went to my hotel and leisurely dressed for dinner. As I crossed the threshold of the dining room, the thought came to mind that it would be nice to have a couple of cocktails with dinner. That was all. Nothing more.........

-Tom- Fishermen fish, carpenters build things, firefighters put out fires, alcoholics drink and drug addicts use drugs. No mystery in any of that, it’s simple, True and logical.
Good times, bad times, failure, success, happy, mad, sad, glad, rain or shine, day or night. I drink because I am an alcoholic.
Or, I choose Sobriety and do the actions that bring about those results that I want.
I pray that today I remember that I am without defense against the first drink. My defense must come from my Higher Power.

[bluidkiti]

May 4

Practice of the Day-
BB pg 64-65-
Ch 5- How It Works:
Resentment is the "number one" offender. It destroys more alcoholics than anything else. From it stem all forms of spiritual disease, for we have been not only mentally and physically ill, we have been spiritually sick. When the spiritual malady is overcome, we straighten out mentally and physically. In dealing with resentments, we set them on paper. We listed people, institutions or principles with whom we were angry. We asked ourselves why we were angry. In most cases it was found that our self-esteem, our pocketbooks, our ambitions, our personal relationships
(including sex) were hurt or threatened. So we were sore. We were "burned up."
On our grudge list we set opposite each name our injuries. Was it our self-esteem, our security, our ambitions, our personal, or sex relations, which had been interfered with?

-Tom- doing my 4th Step under the guidance of my sponsor and the format of the directions in the BB, was one of the greatest things I had ever done in my life.
Many times on many occasions in my life, I had said to myself “why did I do that?” or “why did I act that way? Most of the time I did not really know why.
My information that I plugged into the 4th Step format, gave me all my “why’s” and that was critical for me.
For most of my life I just thought I was a rotten, damaged, mean, no good, son of a *****. While some of my actions said that was true, inside, it was not. I was just sick; spiritually, mentally and physically.
Today I pray that I remember to focus my efforts on my spiritual malady first, then mental and physical.

[bluidkiti]

May 5

Practice of the Day-
BB pg 66-67-
Ch 5- How It Works:
We turned back to the list, for it held the key to the future. We were prepared to look at it from an entirely different angle. We began to see that the world and its people really dominated us. In that state, the wrong-doing of others, fancied or real, had power to actually kill. How could we escape? We saw that these resentments must be mastered, but how? We could not wish them away any more than alcohol.
This was our course: We realized that the people who wronged us were perhaps spiritually sick.
Though we did not like their symptoms and the way these disturbed us, they, like ourselves, were sick too. We asked God to help us show them the same tolerance, pity, and patience that we would cheerfully grant a sick friend. When a person offended we said to ourselves, "This is a sick man. How can I be helpful to him? God save me from being angry. Thy will be done."
We avoid retaliation or argument. We wouldn't treat sick people that way. If we do, we destroy our chance of being helpful. We cannot be helpful to all people, but at least God will show us how to take a kindly and tolerant view of each and every one.

-Tom- I remember the first time I practiced the 4th Step prayer for when I was offended.
I was in the 82nd’s static line Jumpmaster course in the early 90s. One of the instructors was a complete ass and had a “protector of the tab” approach, put me in his sights and offended me, on purpose, unwarranted.
My normal response (before sobriety) would be to smile at him, then find him off post on the weekend and beat his ass.
However, the thought of this paragraph jumped in my mind. So begrudgingly, halfheartedly, with attitude, I said the prayer, and it worked. I was still mad but did not feel the need or desire to retaliate. That was huge progress for a guy like me.
I pray that today I remember that I always have the Power of Choice to pray, remain quite, or leave quickly in order to not react to someone that is sick .

[bluidkiti]

May 6

Practice of the Day-
BB pg 93-
Ch-7- Working With Others:
..........Stress the spiritual feature freely. If the man be agnostic or atheist, make it emphatic that he does not have to agree with your conception of God. He can choose any conception he likes, provided it makes sense to him. The main thing is that he be willing to believe in a Power greater than himself and that he live by spiritual principles.
When dealing with such a person, you had better use everyday language to describe spiritual principles. There is no use arousing any prejudice he may have against certain theological terms and conceptions about which he may already be confused. Don't raise such issues, no matter what your own convictions are.

-Tom- For me, I will be Forever Grateful that my Sponsor followed these 2 paragraphs in “working with others” when he was working with me. He was following the directions in the BB and so was I. It’s called the dumb guy approach, just do what the book says to do, when it says to do it.
My sponsor was/is a Christian. He follows the teachings of Jesus Christ and went to church. However he Never imparted his beliefs onto me, he said, like the book said, I had to find my own God. The God of the Hopeless alcoholic that would help me personally.
The reason why that was important was my head was full of all kinds of prejudice, false information and failed attempts of connecting with God. For me, just mentioning theological terms brought up an emotional fury and I would shut down without even trying to.
My sponsor said let’s approach this from a practical sense: don’t talk about AA in church and don’t talk about church in AA. Practice being where you are not bringing one into the other. Keep it simple and enjoy both.
I pray that today I have the ability to keep it simple, be where I am, allow others to be where they are and enjoy all that Sobriety has Given me.

[bluidkiti]

May 7

Practice of the Day-
BB pg 50-
Ch 4- We Agnostics:
In our personal stories you will find a wide variation in the way each teller approaches and conceives of the Power which is greater than himself. Wether we agree with a particular approach or conception seems to make little difference. Experience has taught us that these are matters about which, for our purpose, we need not be worried.
On one proposition, however, these men and women are strikingly agreed. Everyone of them has gained access to, and believes in, a Power greater than himself. This Power has in each case accomplished the miraculous, the humanly impossible. As a celebrated American statesman put it “let’s look at the record.”

-Tom- it was relieving to know that I did not have to solve my alcoholism. I just had to find My own Higher Power, and He solved the problem. All I had to do was the Step work and follow the directions of my Sponsor.
The Process of doing and practicing all 12 Steps, removes the parts of my self concept that no longer serve me or support the Life I am attempting to live today.
I pray that today I have the Willingness to do the work that is necessary to acquire a conscious contact with my Higher Power, and allow Him to solve my problem.

[bluidkiti]

May 8

Practice of the Day-
BB pg 86-
Ch- Into Action:
On awakening let us think about the 24 hours ahead. We consider our plans for the day. Before we begin, we ask God to direct our thinking, especially asking that it be divorced from self-pity, dishonest or self-seeking motives. Under these conditions we can employ or mental faculties with assurance, for after all God gave us brains to use. Our thought-life will be placed on a much higher plane when our thinking is cleared of wrong motives.

-Tom- this is some of the morning directions for the 11th step. It is important to actually have done all the Work in steps 1-10 to receive and obtain the full benefits of this step.
It is only here, in the 11th that I am actually given permission to think again.
Steps 1-10 just give me precise clear cut instructions on what actions to take.
Many members, especially those that have been sober a bit, just start doing what they think is best now that they have been sober a while.
When the Gift of Desperation is gone, Discipline must show up, or Desperation will return.
I am Grateful that there is no scorecard, test to take, or deep understandings to decipher. I just have to continue to follow the Good Orderly Directions of the step I am on.
I can ask myself “am I following the directions for the 11th step out of the BB?”
If the answer is yes, then I can Continue.
If the answer is no, then stop and do it. Unless you are unwilling, that’s a 1st Step issue.
(Upon awakening only takes 6 minutes in case you were wondering how to fit this practice into your busy schedule)
I pray that today I just follow the directions and don’t buy into how smart I think I am.

[bluidkiti]

May 9

Practice of the Day-
BB pg 101-102
Ch- Working With Others:
So our rule is not to avoid a place where there is drinking, if we have a legitimate reason for being there. That includes bars, nightclubs, dances, receptions, weddings and plain ordinary whoopee parties. To a person who has had experience with an alcoholic, this may seem like tempting Providence, but it isn’t.
You will note that we made an important qualification. Therefore ask yourself on each occasion, “Have I any good social, business, or personal reason for going to this place? Or am I expecting to steal a little vicarious pleasure from the atmosphere of such places?” If you answer these questions satisfactorily, you need have no apprehension. Go or stay away, whichever seems best. But be sure you are on solid spiritual ground before you start and that your motive in going is thoroughly good. Do not think of what you will get out of the occasion. Think of what you can bring to it. But if you are shaky, you had better work with another alcoholic instead!

-Tom- it is most important to note where this information is contained in the process. These are part of the directions for the 12th step, which means that I have completed my 9th step and attempting to live 10,11, 12, on a daily basis.
In early sobriety I was too afraid to walk into the gas station to buy Copenhagen because I had never walked by a beer cooler without getting some. Later in my sobriety I would find myself sitting in crack house that had drugs, booze and guns, reading the BB with a sponsee in a rough spot. Following the directions in the above paragraphs and double checking with my sponsor.
The point is that if I follow the directions of the 12 steps and information in the BB, I can walk this earth a Free man. That is what I always wanted and still desire most, Freedom. That is why I got Sober, to Live Free.
Today I pray that I live the Life my God wants me to Live: Happy, Joyous and Free

[bluidkiti]

May 10

Practice of the Day-
-AA Responsibility Statement:
I am responsible...When anyone, anywhere, reaches out for help, I want the hand of A.A. always to be there. And for that:
I am Responsible.

-Tom- After I had been working with my sponsor for a week or so, one day he said “tell me what you are Grateful for” I said I had nothing to be grateful for, all I ever cared about in my life is gone. He said, well that’s a problem. I said, I agree. He said well there is always one thing you can be grateful for Tom. I said, oh really, so what is that? He said “ you can always be forever Grateful for Alcoholics Anonymous, because no one else would have your sorry a$$”
I wanted to punch him in the face, but I didn’t because it was True.
Before AA, there was only a Living Hell, jails, Institutions and Death if you were an alcoholic/addict. That was it. There was no recovery option.
I often think about, what if there was no one ready and willing to grab my hand when I finally reached out for help? I know the answer, jails, institutions, death and a living Hell.
My Higher Power and my Willingness to Do AA saved my Life, but I couldn’t have done it without my sponsor, I know that. I asked him one day, “how can I ever repay you for all you have taught me and all you have done for me?” He smiled and said “give to the next man, what I gave to you. That is the only way you can repay me”
If you are attempting to grab the hands that are reaching for help in AA, then you are on track for what was done for you. Continue.
If you are not, I suggest you re read the section above.
Today I pray that I Remember what was Freely Given to me, so that I will do same for another

[bluidkiti]

May 11

Practice of the day-
BB pg 77-78
Ch- Into Action
(some directions for 9th Step, Amends)
Under no condition do we criticize such a person or argue. Simply we tell him that we will never get over drinking until we have done our utmost to straighten out the past. We are there to sweep off our side of the street, realizing that nothing worth while can be accomplished until we do so, never trying to tell him what he should do. His faults are not discussed. We stick to our own. If our manner is calm, frank, and open, we will be gratified with the results.
In nine cases out of ten the unexpected happens. Sometimes the man we are calling upon admits his own fault, so feuds of years’ standing melt away in an hour. Rarely do we fail to make satisfactory progress. Our former enemies sometimes praise what we are doing and wish us well. Occasionally they will offer assistance. It should not matter, however, if someone does throw us out of his office. We have made our demonstration, done our part. It’s water over the ****.

-Tom- The actions of the 9th step is where the rubber meets the road. Do I really mean what I say? Do I really trust My Creator? Do I really trust the process of the 12 Steps?
The answer is in our actions.
If I am doing my amends, then the answer is a loud and thundering yes. If I am not, then it is a whimpering no, and I am in a lot of trouble and don’t even know it.
Doing a hard amends is a tremendous act of Courage. Acts of Courage change Everything, especially ourselves.
It is important for me to know what courage feels like before and during the act. In my experience courage feels horrible, anxiety, worry, over thinking, fear,nausea ,etc..............However after the Courageous act it only feels like one thing.......Freedom
I must always remember why I must make amends. It’s not forgiveness. It’s not because they deserve it. It is so that I can be Free of it and move on to a better Life for me and my Family.
Do I want to be right, or do I want to be Free?
Today I pray that I have the Courage to do what I need to do, and continue to grow, with Grace.

[bluidkiti]

May 12

Practice of the Day-
BB pg 82-
Ch- Into Action:
If we have no such complication, there is plenty we should do at home. Sometimes we hear an alcoholic say that the only thing he needs to do is to keep sober. Certainly he must keep sober, for there will be no home if he doesn’t. But he is yet a long way from making good to the wife or parents whom for years he has so shockingly treated. Passing all understanding is the patience mothers and wives have had with alcoholics. Had this not been so, many of us would have no homes today, would perhaps be dead.
The alcoholic is like a tornado roaring his way through the lives of others. Hearts are broken. Sweet relationships are dead. Affections have been uprooted. Selfish and inconsiderate habits have kept the home in turmoil. We feel a man is unthinking when he says that sobriety is enough. He is like the farmer who came up out of his cyclone cellar to find his home ruined. To his wife, he remarked, “Don’t see anything the matter here, Ma. Ain’t it grand the wind stopped blowin?”

-Tom- my sponsor set me straight from the beginning “Tom, we don’t get any pats on the back for being Grateful, doing our step work, taking direction from our sponsor, going to meetings or working with other alcoholics.
All of that just puts us in a position to live in a manner in which we should have been doing all along. We have a lot of work to do to make things right in our lives and there are many who need the opportunity we were Given”
I can ask myself “ do the people in my life hold me accountable and inspire me to be and do better?
Or do they buy into my bull**** and let me get away with not being accountable and feel sorry for me?”
There is a saying, not in the BB, that says:
Show me who you spend your time with, and that will show me your future.
Today I pray that I have the Courage to choose wisely, the company that I keep.

[bluidkiti]

May 13

Practice of the day-
BB pg 58
Ch- How It Works:
Our stories disclose in a general way what we used to be like, what happened and what we are like now.
If you have decided you want what we have and are willing to go to any length to get it—then you are ready to take certain steps.
At some of these we balked. We thought we could find an easier, softer way. But we could not. With all the earnestness at our command, we beg of you to be fearless and thorough from the very start. Some of us have tried to hold on to our old ideas and the result was nil until we let go absolutely.

-Tom- I wanted John H to be my sponsor, so I asked him to be. In turn, he asked me “are you willing to go to any lengths for victory over alcoholism” and “are you willing to do whatever I ask you to do?” He asked me that one evening and of course I immediately said yes because I was really whipped this time. He said, “no, I want you to think about this tonight and give me your answer in the morning, it’s a big decision.”
The 12 steps are a
“all in” deal. It’s the Only way it works, if you desire to stay sober in AA.
It’s just like the card game Texas hold’em: you can ante up, place a few bets, play a bit, but at some point you will have to go “all in”. If you don’t go “all in” you are out of the game.
Sobriety is the same way.
I can ask myself “am I trying to hold on to any of my old ideas?”
If the answer is yes, then work with your sponsor and follow the process of the steps, wherever you are in them. Letting go absolutely is a gift we get by living the steps 1-12.
If your answer is no, then Continue to Live Free from the bondage of self.
I pray that today I live a life of rigorous honesty and live in the present.

[bluidkiti]

May 14

Practice of the Day-
BB pg 93-
Ch-7- Working With Others:
..........Stress the spiritual feature freely. If the man be agnostic or atheist, make it emphatic that he does not have to agree with your conception of God. He can choose any conception he likes, provided it makes sense to him. The main thing is that he be willing to believe in a Power greater than himself and that he live by spiritual principles.
When dealing with such a person, you had better use everyday language to describe spiritual principles. There is no use arousing any prejudice he may have against certain theological terms and conceptions about which he may already be confused. Don't raise such issues, no matter what your own convictions are.

-Tom- For me, I will be Forever Grateful that my Sponsor followed these 2 paragraphs in “working with others” when he was working with me. He was following the directions in the BB and so was I. It’s called the dumb guy approach, just do what the book says to do, when it says to do it.
My sponsor was/is a Christian. He follows the teachings of Jesus Christ and went to church. However he Never imparted his beliefs onto me, he said, like the book said, I had to find my own God. The God of the Hopeless alcoholic that would help me personally.
The reason why that was important was my head was full of all kinds of prejudice, false information and failed attempts of connecting with God. For me, just mentioning theological terms brought up an emotional fury and I would shut down without even trying to.
My sponsor said let’s approach this from a practical sense: don’t talk about AA in church and don’t talk about church in AA. Practice being where you are not bringing one into the other. Keep it simple and enjoy both.
I pray that today I have the ability to keep it simple, be where I am, allow others to be where they are and enjoy all that Sobriety has Given me.

[bluidkiti]

May 15

Practice of the day-
BB pg 77-78
Ch- Into Action
(some directions for 9th Step, Amends)
Under no condition do we criticize such a person or argue. Simply we tell him that we will never get over drinking until we have done our utmost to straighten out the past. We are there to sweep off our side of the street, realizing that nothing worth while can be accomplished until we do so, never trying to tell him what he should do. His faults are not discussed. We stick to our own. If our manner is calm, frank, and open, we will be gratified with the results.
In nine cases out of ten the unexpected happens. Sometimes the man we are calling upon admits his own fault, so feuds of years’ standing melt away in an hour. Rarely do we fail to make satisfactory progress. Our former enemies sometimes praise what we are doing and wish us well. Occasionally they will offer assistance. It should not matter, however, if someone does throw us out of his office. We have made our demonstration, done our part. It’s water over the ****.

-Tom- The actions of the 9th step is where the rubber meets the road. Do I really mean what I say? Do I really trust My Creator? Do I really trust the process of the 12 Steps?
The answer is in our actions.
If I am doing my amends, then the answer is a loud and thundering yes. If I am not, then it is a whimpering no, and I am in a lot of trouble and don’t even know it.
Doing a hard amends is a tremendous act of Courage. Acts of Courage change Everything, especially ourselves.
It is important for me to know what courage feels like before and during the act. In my experience courage feels horrible, anxiety, worry, over thinking, fear,nausea ,etc..............However after the Courageous act it only feels like one thing.......Freedom
I must always remember why I must make amends. It’s not forgiveness. It’s not because they deserve it. It is so that I can be Free of it and move on to a better Life for me and my Family.
Do I want to be right, or do I want to be Free?
Today I pray that I have the Courage to do what I need to do, and continue to grow, with Grace.