Today's Thought - July

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July 1

Man can live his truth, his deepest truth, but cannot speak it.

~Archibald MacLeish

For many men, being addicts meant living double lives. There were public selves whom others knew, and private selves whom no one met. It was a compulsive world, and both sides were false. Many of us grew up in addicted families and learned this double life early by hiding from outsiders what life was really like at home.

In this program, we learn to live our truth before we can speak it. It is more in our actions than in what we say. We may never know the words for this truth because we do not consciously invent it. It comes to us quietly over time and slowly merges all our parts. Gradually we begin to feel whole again as we surrender our double lives for single, truthful ones.

Let me have the trust to give myself to the work of recovery and follow it where it takes me.

Today's reading is from the book Touchstones: A Book of Daily Meditations for Men*

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July 2

Right Now

Time for a check-in. What do you need to do for yourself right now, today? Do you have a full day planned? Can you build in something you can do just for yourself? Something nurturing or stress-reducing if you are feeling overwhelmed or something inspiring or exciting if you are feeling bored? Do you need to take a walk or a nap? Have a snack?

The likelihood that anybody else is going to figure out what you need and then make sure you get it is, I’m sorry to say, very slim. But I bet if you close your eyes and ask yourself the question "What do I need today?" that something will come to you. It can't hurt to try.

Let your intuition tell you what you need and your sense of worthiness ensure that you get it.

Today's reading is from the book She Recovers Every Day: Meditations for Women*

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July 3

Changing our attitudes

Our prayer is, "God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to know the difference." We say this prayer at least once a day because although we must accept the things we cannot change today, they may, in fact, change tomorrow.

This seems to be a paradox, yet once we truly and completely accept something, it begins to change. While the objective fact remains unchanged, our attitude toward it and our relationship to it has changed. It is with our attitudes toward people and things that we must learn to live.

Am I changing my attitudes?

Higher Power, help me live fully today, neither forward nor backward, but here and now.

The attitude I will work on today is...

Today's reading is from the book Day by Day: Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts*

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JUly 4

Reflection for the Day

It's time for me to start being responsible for my own actions. It's time for me to be willing to take some chances. If my new life in the program is valid and right, as I truly believe, then surely it can stand the test of exposure to real-life situations and problems. So I won’t be afraid to be human and, if necessary, to sometimes fall on my face in the process of living. Living is what the program is all about. And living entails sharing, accepting, giving - interacting with other people. Now is the time for me to put my faith into action. Have I begun to practice what I preach by putting my new thoughts and ideas into action?
Today I Pray

May the program, with my Higher Power's help, give me a chance to live a steady, creative, outreaching life, so that I may share with others what has been given to me. May I realize on this Independence Day that I, too, have a celebration of freedom - freedom from my addiction.
Today I Will Remember

To celebrate my personal freedom.

Today's reading is from the book A Day at a Time: Daily Reflections for Recovering People*

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July 5

Guidance comes from many sources.

What do we think of when we hear the word guidance? Perhaps we recall a guidance counselor in school who told us what courses to take. Now that we are in the program we receive guidance in quite informal ways: At a meeting an old-timer will share a story that helps us make a decision. A reading in a meditation book will seem to have been written specifically for us. Or a friend will call at just the moment we are feeling fear and confusion.

Most people come into this program searching for something. We may not know just what we are missing, but we recognize a painful void. Learning that we have not only a Higher Power as a constant companion but also many new and trusted friends, we gain a fresh appreciation for guidance - what it means and how it helps. It's really everywhere, and we are learning how to tap into it, thanks to the program.

Every situation I meet today will be affected by my presence. I have something to give that only I can give.

Today's reading is from the book A Life of My Own: Meditations on Hope and Acceptance*

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July 6

Get a small notebook
write down in it what you want

~James Schuyler

We sometimes postpone things we want to do, waiting for ideal circumstances or more comfortable means. Often, all we need to make a start is the willingness to begin. Writing is an example; many of us say, "I'd like to write, but I don't have the time." We can take a few moments to write today - right now - without committing ourselves to keeping a journal for the rest of our lives. We don't need a computer, a writer's studio, or a grant; any pad or notebook will do.

Instead of living with the frustration of grandiose schemes, we can cultivate small habits that move us gradually in the direction of fulfilling our desires.

Today, I take one small action that furthers the fulfillment of a desire.

Today's reading is from the book Glad Day

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July 7

Stopping Victimization

Before recovery, many of us lacked a frame of reference with which to name the victimization and abuse in our life. We may have thought it was normal that people mistreated us. We may have believed we deserved mistreatment; we may have been attracted to people who mistreated us.

We need to let go, on a deep level, of our need to be victimized and to be victims. We need to let go of our need to be in dysfunctional relationships and systems at work, in love, in family relationships, in friendships. We deserve better. We deserve much better. It is our right. When we believe in our right to happiness, we will have happiness.

We will fight for that right, and the fight will emerge from our souls. Break free from oppression and victimization.

Today, I will liberate myself by letting go of my need to be a victim. and I’ll explore my freedom to take care of myself. That liberation will not take me further away from people I love. It will bring me closer to people and more in harmony with God’s plan for my life.

Today's reading is from the book The Language of Letting Go: Daily Meditations on Codependency*

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July 8

People are always blaming their circumstances for being what they are. The people who get on in this world are the people who get up and look for the circumstances they want, and if they can't find them, make them.

~George Bernard Shaw

If only the weather were better, people were friendlier, there were more job opportunities, less traffic, the family lived nearer, the taxes were lower, and the morning sun didn't shine on the wrong side of the house we'd probably be happy right where we are. The problem is there’s too much pressure here, too many frustrations and irritations. The answer seems simple enough - move to another house or city, or even another country.

The problem is that when we move, we take ourselves along. Where we are is where we have chosen to be. If we don’t "fix our chooser," we'll choose the same people and predicaments again and again.

There is enormous freedom in accepting this truth. When we do, we claim the power to control the quality of our own lives and to create our own destiny.

Today, I will investigate how my choices have shaped my life.

Today's reading is from the book Days of Healing, Days of Joy: Daily Meditations for Adult Children*

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July 9

The more we give of anything, the more we shall get back.

~Grace Speare

When we first hear this advice, it doesn’t seem to make sense. How can we get more of something by giving it away? Yet we hear the same advice in Step Twelve of our recovery program: we must "Give it away" in order to keep it.

What does this mean? Maybe it means that when we pay attention to living in this way, we change our whole value system and our behavior. For example, we can choose to lay our anger and whining on others, but that doesn't really get rid of it. In fact, we find that people tend to join in our negative behavior and feed it. We end up with more.

But if we give to others the feelings we really want to keep - understanding, honesty, kindness, patience, and humor - they will share their good stuff with us, too. And that helps us stay sober.
Prayer for the Day

Higher Power, help me share the important things today - the things I want more of.
Today's Action

Today I will be aware of what I am giving others with my behavior. If I need to share negative comments or ideas, I will balance each one with five positives. I'm making life better for others and for myself, too.

Today's reading is from the book God Grant Me: More Daily Meditations from the Authors of Keep It Simple*

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July 10

There are no elements so diverse that they cannot be joined in the heart of an individual.

~Jean Giraudoux

We sometimes look too hard, perhaps, for unity and coherence. If we are uncertain, we get upset; if we are inconsistent, we are criticized. So we try to always be constant and predictable.

But we are made up from disparate genes and conflicting humors. We may always want to do good, but we all have slips. Our hearts say one thing, our heads another. We change our minds and stop and start. We get confused and battles flare up inside us.

That's called being human. Many forces converge on us, many thoughts arise, many emotions rage. It takes courage to accept our contradictions, our struggles, but we will be stronger if we do.

I recognize that I am often divided in myself. I accept that this is part of being human.

Today's reading is from the book Answers in the Heart

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July 11

Kindness

Little deeds of kindness, little words of love, help to make earth happy.

~Julia A.F. Carney

No act of kindness is ever too small to serve a good purpose. Oceans are made possible by little drops of water. Beaches are formed by tiny grains of sand. Slowly but surely, small efforts combine to help, encourage, and lead others to an ocean of success.

Small acts make large contributions to our spiritual growth. Newcomers to our program are advised that they can rid themselves of hatred, envy, resentments, and dislikes by using little acts and words to create a great turnaround in behavior. For instance, we are told, "Start forgiveness by praying for those you think have harmed you." This small act of prayer removes powerful negative emotions and replaces them with the wonder of serenity.

I shall try to be a little kinder and a little blinder to the faults of those around me.

Today's reading is from the book Easy Does It: A Book of Daily Twelve Step Meditations*

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July 12

There is a need to discover that we are capable of solitary joy and having experienced it, know that we have touched the core of self.

~Barbara Lazear Ascher

To be alone with ourselves, undistracted by a friend's voice or TV or a good book, is not all that easy. We discover the joy of being and not always doing, when we make a commitment to go within and seek the support of our Higher Power.

We are nurtured in times of quiet solitude as, little by little, we come to know and love ourselves more. We find lasting joy deep within ourselves rather than in outward success, other people’s approval, or mood-altering drugs.

Deciding to leave our distractions for even a few moments will take courage; we may fear the unknown, certain that if we really get to know ourselves, we’ll discover we’re unlovable. Fear of the unknown is natural, but it lessens as we mature in our spiritual life. We are meant to know and love ourselves as we’re known and loved by God.

Today I will quietly go within and I will seek the self-assurance and joy that come from God.

Today's reading is from the book In God's Care: Daily Meditations on Spirituality in Recovery*

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July 13

Blaming someone or something else doesn't help me to grow as an individual.

~Chris DeMetsenaere

It is not unusual to meet women in recovery who have survived harrowing childhoods or brutal marriages. Many of us have lived troubled lives and felt powerless to change the circumstances. If we continue to focus on those times, however, we will grow far less than we deserve.

What has happened has happened. We can't redo the past. Hanging on to it in order to blame other people for our failures and shortcomings builds a barrier to growth. With our minds on the past, we are not actively and consciously involved in the present, and this moment is all we have.

We are not responsible for the abuses others perpetrated against us. We are responsible for what we choose to do next. Being fully responsible, we will quit blaming others and make the amends we need to make. We will learn to pause before acting or responding to others.

I will feel empowered today if I accept responsibility for my every thought and act.

Today's reading is from the book A Woman's Spirit: More meditations for Women*

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July 14

You alone can do it, but you cannot do it alone.

~O. Hobart Mowrer

A guy likes to feel independent and self-sufficient. We all naturally want to feel competent and on top of our game. As we live our lives, we gain some savvy about this drive to be our own master. The young boy has a simple idea: the less he needs others, the stronger and better he will be. But the wiser, experienced man knows that a man is stronger and wiser if he is willing to accept the help that is available.

We alone can turn toward the help. We alone can decide to accept what we cannot change. We alone can open ourselves to spiritual grace and stop getting in the way of our Higher Power. The smarter man accepts the paradox that when we take our self-sufficiency too far, we become weaker. We are in the driver's seat when we decide to receive the help of others and our Higher Power.

Today, I will open myself to the help that surrounds me.

Today's reading is from the book Stepping Stones: More Daily Meditations for Men*

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July 15

AA Thought for the Day

Have I admitted I am an alcoholic? Have I swallowed my pride and admitted I was different from ordinary drinkers? Have I accepted the fact that I must spend the rest of my life without liquor? Have I any more reservations, any idea in the back of my mind that someday I'll be able to drink safely? Am I absolutely honest with myself and with other people? Have I taken an inventory of myself and admitted the wrong I have done? Have I come clean with my friends? Have I tried to make it up to them for the way I have treated them?
Meditation for the Day

I will believe that fundamentally all is well. Good things will happen to me. I believe that God cares for me and will provide for me. I will not try to plan ahead. I know that the way will unfold, step by step. I will leave tomorrow's burden to God, because He is the great burden-bearer. He only expects me to carry my one day's share.
Prayer for the Day

I pray that I may not try to carry the burden of the universe on my shoulders. I pray that I may be satisfied to do my share each day.

Today's reading is from the book Twenty-Four Hours a Day: A Spiritual Resource with Practical Applications for Daily Life*