Amends

[MajestyJo]

NA JFT 2005

The steps offer "a big change from a life dominated by guilt and remorse. Our futures are changed because we don't have to avoid those who we have harmed. As a result...we receive a new freedom that can end isolation. Basic Text, p. 38

Many of us come to Narcotics Anonymous full of regrets about our past. Our steps help us begin to resolve those regrets. We examine our lives, admit our wrongs, make amends for them, and sincerely try to change our behavior. In doing so, we find a joyous sense of freedom.

No longer must we deny or regret our past. Once we've made our amends, what's done is truly over and gone. From that point on, where we come from ceases to be the most important thing about us. It's where we are going that counts.

In NA, we begin to look forward. True, we live and stay clean just for today. But we find that we can begin to set goals, dream dreams, and look ahead to the joys a life in recovery has to offer. Looking forward keeps us centered in where we are going, not remorseful or regretful about out past. After all, it is hard to move forward if we are looking back.

Just for today: The steps have freed me from regrets over my past. Today, I look forward to my new life in recovery.

- Just for Today, Narcotics Anonymous

This reminds me that I do need to make an amend, more importantly it reminds me what an amend is. An amend isn't saying "I'm sorry" it is about changing ourselves and trying not to do the same thing over and over again.

I also found for myself that I didn't have to pay for my past, over and over again. I could continue to beat myself up if I didn't let go, and learn to live in today.

I had to make an amend to my God, to others and to myself.