Long Story Short, No More Chains

[deeek]

Hi There everybody, I am new to this forum and wanted to introduce myself, my name is deek. Long story short. I am an alcoholic/addict who hit a low bottom including jails, institutions and suicide attempts.By the grace Of God and NA and AA I have a little time clean and sober, my last drink was 2/2/12 but one night on 12/26/12 I abused cough medicine so I have a new start date of 12/27/12. Feels good! I finally understand that it is the 1st drink I need to avoid as that is the one that starts the insatiable craving for more.

Today I went to the Hard Rock Casino with my hubby and son. I didn't really want to go, basically because of my spiritual beliefs but I only see my son every few weeks as he lives 2 hours away.I played some penny slots and then watched as my son and hubby played blackjack. My son had several drinks and there were cocktail waitresses everywhere.

I decided to find a comfortable place to sit and I just pondered over the freedom I now have that I am clean and sober. I thought to myself how easily it would have been to sneak a drink, but then I thought back to where that 1st drink would lead. I would be still drinking now at 2:30 am or passed out. I thought about how then I would very quickly be back in the habit of drinking an 18 pack of beer a day, and as we all know we never catch that buzz we are looking for so I would need more, next I would be calling the drug dealer or driving by his house. About now I would be puking my brains out and feeling really disappointed in myself. My husband would probably say he's leaving and all the work I put into building back up my relationship with my son would be lost because I took that first drink. I have been down this road to many times, but today I really got it as in really realizing how detrimental that 1st drink could be in my life and the lives of my family members. Maybe I had an aha moment realizing how self centered one can be to take that risk for a couple hour buzz.

It was good to walk down memory lane, and I don't say that to often, but God put my past right up in my face. He made me realize that if I picked up a drink, it wouldn't be just one drink, it would be a lifestyle change, I would be giving up my freedom. I would be chained to that little demon once again and my whole life would once again revolve around it. I am so grateful today!

[MajestyJo]

Thank you so much for sharing. I have a son who is in active addiction, and he has been to 5 treatment centers and still chooses to use.

We use to do a lot of things together and that isn't possible any more.

[deeek]

Thank You, Yah my son just graduated college last December and is still in college mode on the weekends, but I really don't believe he is an alcoholic. He is so very responsible and has a good paying job at 23. I sure hope he's not at least.

It's got to be painful watching a child in active addiction. My poor parents.

Have a good night! Nitey Nite

[yukonm]

Hey Deeek,

I am so happy to have you join us here. If you'd like, please join us by starting a thread in our Daily Check-in forum:
http://www.bluidkiti.com/forums/forumdisplay.php?f=8

You can read through the existing threads and get to know some of us a little better. Again, welcome, my friend !!

[MajestyJo]

Have a son in active addiction. Many years ago I said, "Don't let me hear of you smoking pot." I didn't hear because he didn't tell me.

We have a Family section, feel free to ask questions or respond to the articles posted there.

http://www.bluidkiti.com/forums/forumdisplay.php?f=18

http://www.bluidkiti.com/forums/showthread.php?t=1666

[yukonm]

Good Morning deeek!!!!

[LookingOut]

Thank you for sharing your story! Glad to have you here!

[deeek]

Instead of starting a new thread daily, should I just stay to one? Is that how you all do it? Then check each other's one thread to see what's new?

[MajestyJo]

Yes, for example, mine is Jo's Kitchen. Check in to share what is cooking in my house.

I do post under the caring and sharing section. It is for newcomers, and feel free to post there.

There is no wrong place to post. Feel free to respond to posts old and new.

The check in makes it seem more up close and personal and we are family.