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Family and Friends of Alcoholics and Addicts This forum is for families and friends whose lives have been affected by someone else's drinking and/or drug abuse. |
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#1 | |
Super Moderator
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Hamilton, ON
Posts: 25,078
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If we are not open to receiving, we are closed to the gifts of recovery. If you shut down, you prevent the negative and the postive from coming in. How can you acknowledge it if you are not open to receiving it. When we are using people, places and things, we do not appreciate or value the gifts that come our way. A simple thank you works wonders.
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#2 | |
Super Moderator
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Hamilton, ON
Posts: 25,078
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#3 | |
Super Moderator
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Hamilton, ON
Posts: 25,078
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#4 | |
Super Moderator
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Hamilton, ON
Posts: 25,078
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My ex-husband decided to quit drinking, and he was coming up on 9 months. I told him that I would quit with him and be supportive. I went out with the girls and had a few drinks, after all he was the one with the problem. New Years came along and he decided to join me drinking white wine, what can a few glass do. It started him back into his full time addiction. The reality was he quit for 9 months, I couldn't and I excused my behaviour on him, because he was the drunk and I was in control, I didn't get drunk! Yeah right! So wrong!
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#5 | |
Super Moderator
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Hamilton, ON
Posts: 25,078
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When I went into treatment, there were 11 women in the house, only 3 of us graduated, others left or were asked to leave. Three of us got a year sober and had been a big part of each other`s recovery in the beginning. The other two relapsed at 15 and 18 months and I was devastated. I wondered what I did and could I have done more. I am powerless over other people`s choices. I can`t take it personally. I need to pray and ask for help for my own guilt, mostly self-inflicted, or a false sense of responsibility and pride.
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#6 | |
Super Moderator
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Hamilton, ON
Posts: 25,078
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As it says, "Trusting the process." The healing is there. I no longer have to get off of buses. I can go into a grocery store and shop and not leave my cart in the aisle because I can not cope. I can walk over bridge and grates. I can stand at my window and go out on my balcony when there is a thunder storm instead of hiding under the bed covers. For so many years I used my bed to hide from reality.
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#7 | |
Super Moderator
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Hamilton, ON
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#8 | |
Super Moderator
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Hamilton, ON
Posts: 25,078
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I have to pray and ask for all the blockages, blocks, old ideas and wrong choices, that have clogged up my veins. Eating the wrong kind of foods can do it, especially when you are like me and diabetic. Tonight I made so many errors, it is time to call it a night. Things are not computing.
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#9 | |
Super Moderator
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Hamilton, ON
Posts: 25,078
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It took me a long time in recovery to get to a stage in my life where my cheque lasted for the whole month, without borrowing. That sure didn't work, and was a big wake up for me, on the second half of Step One. My life is unmanageable when managed by me. I could justify and rationalize anything and I learned when I got into that kind of thinking, I was acting on Self-Will, God had no part in it. I wasn't open to what He said, and as they say, I became constitutionally incapable of being honest with myself, even though I tended to blame my lack and life on everyone else. Someone was always at blame with no willingness to be responsible for my own decisions and life style. Like the line about underspending allows me to be the martyr and victim. Again with the blame game, and I can't feed into it when it is projected onto me.
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#10 | |
Super Moderator
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Hamilton, ON
Posts: 25,078
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I also had to remember that I met people when I was using and in sobriety, I no longer have a strong connection and we have nothing in common with them. If I was in a relationship with someone who has my disease, I felt comfortable. When I got sober, living with someone who is still in their disease, is difficult and there must be a lot of love to stay with them, and Al-Anon helps to make a choice and come to a decision to go or stay. I try to ask myself, "What do I need for my Higher Good in today."
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#11 |
Super Moderator
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Hamilton, ON
Posts: 25,078
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Some links about relationships in recovery:
https://www.justloveaudio.com/resour...Step_Guide.pdf http://www.12steps4recovery.com/handouts/handout-3/ http://www.elementsbehavioralhealth....participation/
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#12 | |
Super Moderator
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Hamilton, ON
Posts: 25,078
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As they say: It is often how it is said!
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#13 | |
Super Moderator
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Hamilton, ON
Posts: 25,078
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I felt abandoned by my father. Yet so much of abandonment is about abadoning ourselves. This was also a result of poor self-esteem and self-worth and every time I felt abandoned, it was all my fault, it was me who had done wrong.
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#14 | |
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Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Hamilton, ON
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God was always there, it was about me building a spiritual relatonship with a Higher Power of my own understanding. For me God is, as He reveals Himself to me in today.
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#15 | |
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Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Hamilton, ON
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Thread | Thread Starter | Forum | Replies | Last Post |
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