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Family and Friends of Alcoholics and Addicts This forum is for families and friends whose lives have been affected by someone else's drinking and/or drug abuse. |
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#1 |
Super Moderator
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Hamilton, ON
Posts: 25,078
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![]() ![]() I met someone today when I was down in the mall and we had a mini-meeting. One of the things I said to her was, "If I have to control it, it is already out of control it." She is a retired nurse and she had a difficult time with the program; because she tended to intellectualize things and look at things from a religious point of view runs a muck with the spiritual aspect of recovery. Just accepting the fact that it is an incurable disease and that we are giving a daily reprieve through the Grace of the God of our understanding and the gift of the 12 Steps. We can't control our drinking, and yet we can change our thinking, our actions and behaviours by working and applying those 12 Steps to our life, whether we are the alcoholic/addict or the family and friend of same. We didn't cause it. I can remember my mother saying, "Look at what you made me do." I didn't know that I didn't know that I didn't have the power. No one can make me do anything unless I give up my power to them. Once I pick up that drink or drug, it takes over my life and every time I picked up, I lost a piece of me, so I lost power. Yet when I surrendered, reached out and asked for help, I was empowered to do what I needed to do to stay clean and sober, one day at a time. I was told that sobriety meant "Soundness of mind." That applies to all of us, "alcoholics and non-alcoholics." You can't live with an alcoholic and have soundness of mind. I am a daughter of an alcoholic, was married to an alcoholic, became an alcoholic, and have a son who is a self-alcoholic, and have had several recovering alcoholic boyfriends. I thought I was the cause, the cure, and in control and what an illusion that was. ![]()
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Love always, Jo I share because I care. ![]() Last edited by MajestyJo; 01-22-2016 at 06:39 PM. |
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#2 | ||
Super Moderator
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Hamilton, ON
Posts: 25,078
|
![]() Quote:
My son just left here today, and this made me think of how even though he isn't using today, he was Friday and Saturday. His energy is not good and I have to consider where he is coming from, a place of active addiction even though he isn't drunk or stoned in the moment. The thinking is there and he is quite often coming from his disease in thought and deed. I have to look at my son and see him for who he is and remember where he is coming from and continue to pray for him, whether he wants me to or not.
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Love always, Jo I share because I care. ![]() |
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#3 | |
Super Moderator
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Hamilton, ON
Posts: 25,078
|
![]() Quote:
I need to let it go. I didn't cause it, can't control it, and I can't cure it, so I need to let go of false responsibilities and guilt. ![]()
__________________
Love always, Jo I share because I care. ![]() |
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