Today's Thought - October

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October 1

Self Pity

"Poor little ol' me." The PLOMS. How often do we succumb to this temptation? Usually it's an excuse for not doing what we know we should do, but do not want to do. Or it's a way to manipulate someone else into doing something for us which we should be doing ourselves. If we spend our time moaning and groaning about how unfairly life is treating us, we do not have much chance of discovering the plan which our Higher Power has for us, nor are we able to carry out God's will.

Trite as it may sound, the cure for self-pity is to think about those who are less fortunate and start counting our blessings. Taking some action, doing some small thing for someone else, perhaps a phone call -- these are constructive steps to take us off the "pity pot."

When we begin to feel sorry for ourselves, let's remember where we came from and what things were like before we found the program.

I don't need self-pity.

You are reading from the book:

Food for Thought by Elisabeth L.

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October 2

I look in the mirror through the eyes of the child that was me.
--Judy Collins

The child within each of us is fragile, but very much alive, and she interprets our experiences before we are even conscious of them. It is our child who may fear new places, unfamiliar people, and strange situations. Our child needs nurturing, the kind she may not have received in the past. We can take her hand, coax her along, let her know she won't be abandoned. No new place, unfamiliar person, or strange situation need overwhelm her.

It's quite amazing the strength that comes to us when we nurture ourselves, when we acknowledge the scared child within and hold that child making him or her secure. We face nothing alone. Together, we can face anything.

I will take care of my inner child today and I won't abandon that child to face alone any of the experiences the day may bring.

You are reading from the book:

Each Day a New Beginning by Karen Casey

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October 3

My greatest achievement was my relationship with the young son of a good friend.
-- Maria Regnier Krimmel

Maria was a world renowned silversmith. Because she is female, this was considered an even greater achievement, and yet she considered a particular relationship with a youngster to have been more important than having her work owned by famous people and on display in the finest museums. How do we judge the relationships in our lives? Have they mattered as much to us as our careers or our hobbies?

Naturally, we each have to answer that question for ourselves. For some of us, relationships were often difficult, whether at work or in the family. Some of us sought intimacy with others but failed to achieve it due to forces beyond our control. Our experiences are as different as are our personalities. But we're not too old to forge better relationships with others if that's our desire.

How do we determine if it's a relationship that we long for? Monitoring one's feelings and thoughts will offer clues. Are we lonely? Are we feeling sorry for ourselves? Do we seem to be always "waiting" for something or someone else to change our lives? If the answer is yes to any of these questions, let's reach out to someone today. Offering friendship is the only way a relationship can begin. If we want one, we must do our part.

How I spend today will be my decision. If I want to share it with someone else, I'd better make the first move.

You are reading from the book:

Keepers of the Wisdom by Karen Casey

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October 4

Turning an adversity into opportunity is possible.

We didn't escape problems just because we came to a Twelve Step program. Problems still exist, whether it's a car that won't run, a neighbor who complains, a spiteful co-worker, or a family member who drinks or uses other drugs.

The difference is, now we can keep these situations in perspective. No problem means the end of our world. Before, even the smallest of problems sometimes devastated us.

Through listening to old-timers, we are beginning to realize that every situation offers us a unique opportunity to respond in more thoughtful, loving ways. Without this program, we might never have learned that having problems is the path to the growth and serenity we all seek. Now we turn to God for guidance, and through our trust in God we see the problem transformed into an opportunity. To acknowledge life as being filled with opportunity rather than problems is a tiny shift in perspective that gives us huge rewards.

I will look for my opportunities today. My Higher Power will show me how to handle them. My reward will be growth.

You are reading from the book:

A Life of My Own by Karen Casey

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October 5

Gifts of the Spirit

Through the program, we come to desire spiritual gifts as well as material necessities. Experience shows us that serenity is priceless and something to be desired. Courage, wisdom, faith, hope, love, humility - these are all spiritual gifts which come to us from our Higher Power as we abstain and work our program.

As we receive these gifts of the spirit, we are able to share them with others. Giving them away to our families and friends ensures that we will receive them more abundantly ourselves. We come to realize that a small gift of time and attention can mean more than an expensive material present.

God's gifts are available to us whenever we are open to receive them. By abstaining, we make our spirits ready to accept their rightful gifts.

I pray that I may be ready to accept Your spiritual gifts.

You are reading from the book:

Food for Thought by Elisabeth L.

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October 6

Life is not a problem to be solved but a reality to be experienced.
--Soren Kierkegaard

Maybe our debt is spiraling so out of control we can't face it. We can't tolerate sitting at the table one more time trying to manipulate figures to meet the month's expenses. If we're responsible for creating the debt, we may be in denial or have a lot of shame. If our spouse is responsible, we may be so confused we give up, not knowing whether he or she will come home from the casino with a fistful of cash or another grand or two in the hole. We're tired of creating solutions to get through the debt. We give up. We bury our heads in the sand like an ostrich. If we pull our heads up, we're afraid we'll have a nervous breakdown.

The ostrich stage is a normal human reaction to overwhelming circumstances. We can only take so much. But in the ostrich stage, we make ourselves especially vulnerable. We may return responsibility for paying bills to our gambling spouse. We may agree to sign credit card applications in our name. We accumulate hundreds of dollars worth of overdraft fees.

If we've reached the ostrich stage, we seek outside support from someone we can trust to handle our finances – to shed light on what we cannot seem to see.

Today instead of staying in the ostrich stage, I will seek help.

You are reading from the book:

Letting Go of Debt by Karen Casanova

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October 7

Courage is fear that has said its prayers.
-- Dorothy Bernard

No one of us is always courageous. With trepidation we embark on many journeys. Fear is dispelled each time we rely on our inner strength and trust that our lives are in good hands.

Self-talk is powerful and will prepare us to meet whatever lies ahead today. Self-talk is like prayer and quiets our fears, making it possible to give our full attention to the events transpiring. Self-talk, when positive, cultivates a healthy self-image, one that offers security, even in the face of disaster. We all carry on a dialogue with ourselves much of the time. Taking charge of the messages - making sure they enhance our personal well being - is an option always available to us.

No situation is more than we can handle. Whatever courage or strength is needed is as close as our willingness to go within, to commune with ourselves.

I must own my fears before I can let them go. Courage follows closely on their departing footsteps.

You are reading from the book:

The Promise of a New Day by Karen Casey and Martha Vanceburg

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October 8

Being open

Sometimes we think we're supposed to have more recovery under our belts. Perhaps we feel the need to impress our peers with our success in staying off mind-altering chemicals. But perhaps we are really just trying to convince ourselves. We know how difficult recovery is, and surely our Higher Power is not fooled by our pretense of well being.

If we try to hide our problems, we cannot get help for them. To get help we must tell people where we're really at. No one can read a closed book.

Am I open with others?

Higher Power, help me believe in the saying, "Ask and you shall receive."

You are reading from the book:

Day by Day - Second Edition by Anonymous

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October 9

Our deeds determine us, as much as we determine our deeds.
--George Eliot

Who are we, really? It seems like we are one person on the inside, and yet we often act like someone else. Can a good person do bad things? Can a bad person do good things? It's pretty confusing, isn't it?

Our recovery program teaches us that we can change who we are by changing the things we do. We can become the kind of person we want to be by acting as if we are already that person. For example, if we want to be sober, we can act as if we are a sober person; that is, don't drink, and don't hang out in places where people go to drink. If we want to be a caring person, we can do caring actions for others.

We are the person we feel like on the inside. We are also the person we act like on the outside. In recovery, we change how we think, feel, and act. We practice making changes in each of these areas, and every time we do well in one area, we help in the others too.

Prayer for the Day

Higher Power, help me become the person I want to be by changing how I act, how I feel, and how I think. I am sick and tired of acting, feeling, and thinking like an addict.

You are reading from the book:

God Grant Me... by Anonymous

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October 10

The most useless day of all is that in which we have not laughed.
--Sebastian R. N. Champort

We are told that laughter is sunshine filling a room. And where there is laughter, there also is life. They say that people who laugh a lot live longer than do the sour-faced. When we laugh together, gratitude comes more easily, companionship thrives, and all praise is sincere. Laughter brings us joy that cannot be bought. Such joy is with us throughout each day. To hoard joy, to hide it away deep within us away from others, will make us lonely misers. We cannot buy or trade for joy, but we can give or receive it as a gift.

Laughter's joy celebrates the moment we are living right now. It is a gift we must share, or it will wither and die. Shared, it grows and thrives, and always returns to us when we need it most.

You are reading from the book:

Today's Gift by Anonymous

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October 11

If I were given the opportunity to present a gift to the next generation it would be the ability of each individual to learn to laugh at himself.
--Charles Schulz

In recovery, we learn to laugh at the kind of person we were when our addiction was out of control. We don't laugh at the fact of our addiction; we laugh at who we once were. This is a healthy kind of self-ridicule. Above all, we laugh at the person we never again have to be if we follow the principles of our Program. To blot out the "me" of yesterday, we have only to follow some very simple guidelines.

At times, obeying the principles, which have been set down for us, may not be easy. But with our realization that we have chosen to stop playing God comes the awareness that difficulties need not be disastrous. If everything in life came easily, we would lack sparkle in our lives.

I am thankful my sense of humor has found freedom. Now I am able to laugh at myself, which is the height of self-conquest.

You are reading from the book:

Easy Does It by Anonymous

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October 12

Facts do not cease to exist because they are ignored.
--Aldous Huxley

This is a hard concept for us addicts to get. We believed avoidance was a form of self-care. Our illness depended on our ability to deny its existence. Only when we were bleeding out of every pore of our body, were we willing to admit that maybe there was a slight problem. We were afraid of the facts. To face the facts meant dealing with betraying our illness. It meant admitting we were lost and in need of help from others.

Recovery, from Step One on, is about confronting our issues straight on. We take personal inventory a lot in order to break through our denial and bond with the truth. We face, directly when possible, the people we have hurt because the fact is we have hurt many and we have a responsibility to try to help heal these wounds. As we do these actions, we watch ourselves become stronger. Our confidence – not arrogance – grows. Do we always like facing the facts? No! But our lives aren't based only on feelings anymore. They are based on doing the next right thing.

Prayer for the Day

Higher Power, with Your help and guidance I can break through my wall of denial. Show me the things I need to face.

Today's Action

Sometime during the day, I will sit down and make a list of issues I am avoiding. I'll commit to talking with my sponsor about what is on the list.

You are reading from the book:

God Grant Me... by Anonymous

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October 13

It's okay to have fun.

Although we're working hard on recovering, we can also have fun. In fact, we can have much more fun now than we did before we found the program. With the awakening of our spiritual self, life takes on new zest. We smile more and frown less.

We can give ourselves permission to enjoy whatever comes our way, as long as it does not threaten abstinence or serenity. Friends, food, the multitude of activities, experiences, and sensations that life presents to us each day; all these are to be enjoyed.

Now that we have the tools for recovery, we can expect more fun. Using the inventory and amends Steps, we can clear away any emotional debris from the past that may be hampering our enjoyment of the present. As we take ourselves less seriously, our sense of humor blossoms. Laughter delights and heals us.

I will let myself enjoy life and have some fun.

You are reading from the book:

Inner Harvest by Elisabeth L.

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October 14

A person shows their true self by how much they need other people.
--Anonymous

What giving we have discovered in our Fellowship! From the very first meeting, we received an outstretched hand that offered us help. People gave freely and asked nothing in return. We, who had known so much taking, could hardly believe what we experienced. It just didn't seem real.

The reality is no put-on. There is a spirit of selfless fellowship in our Program. But the truth is that those who are giving are also keeping. The gem they are holding onto is their recovery. Only those who give away what they have found can keep it.

Every time we share with another human being, we add something to our spiritual bank account, allowing us to draw on it when extra demands are made upon our courage. In the measure in which we share our burdens, they become lighter.

Imagine people saving their lives by giving them away! Oh, that I can only be so selfish.

You are reading from the book:

Easy Does It by Anonymous

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October 15

I can find no serenity until I accept that person, place, thing, or situation as being exactly the way it is supposed to be at this moment.
--Alcoholics Anonymous (The AA Big Book)

Newcomer

Nothing much seems to have changed for me lately. I still have the same problems and issues I had months ago.

Sponsor

The Serenity Prayer asks me "to accept the things I cannot change." I used to think that meant things were never going to change - and that I'd better accept it! Now I realize not only that everything is capable of being changed, but also that change is a fact of reality and I can't stop it. What the phrase "to accept the things I cannot change" means to me today is that there are many things that only my Higher Power can change. That doesn't mean things won't change, only that I can't force them to. I have the courage to do my part; I have faith that change takes place in my Higher Power's time.

I can't be sure I'm going to be offered a particular job; but I can shower, dress appropriately, show up for the interview on time, and represent my capabilities with honesty and dignity. If I'm persistent in these efforts, the right job will come in time. Or perhaps I'd like my weight to change. I can't control the numbers on my scale, but if I exercise and eat moderately, over time a moderate body will show up.

Our Higher Power's timetable often differs from our own; accepting that is a source of serenity.

Today, I let my Higher Power work in my life. I have the courage to have faith.

You are reading from the book:

If You Want What We Have by Joan Larkin