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#16 |
Super Moderator
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Hamilton, ON
Posts: 25,078
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![]() This seemed to be my whole reason for being and what tore me apart. I was so fragmented when I got into recovery. I tried to please everyone, and there wasn't enough 'me' to go around. Every time I picked up, whether it was alcohol, pills, or got into a relationship looking for that approval, I lost a piece of me. I was always going outside of myself for the validation and approval because I could never seem to find it within myself. There was always something lacking and left wanting and a lot of it stemmed from old tapes, not just listening and remembering them, but playing them over and over again. It was good to find recovery and learn that I could make new ones. It was even better to find that I could press erase instead of rewind and play over the old tapes, ever mindful, that it was me that had the freedom of choice as to whether I pushed the fast forward or replay buttons. I don't want to look like this any more. I want to be whole and complete within myself. Again, I was using people, places and things to make me feel better instead of looking to the God of my understanding, and making things right with my God and through my God, finding the goodness within myself. ![]()
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Love always, Jo I share because I care. ![]() |
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#17 |
Super Moderator
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Hamilton, ON
Posts: 25,078
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SLIP - Sobriety Loses It's Priority.
When I thought of the topic, I thought of how we can slip mentally, emotionally, and spiritually before we pick up. Even those of us in Al-Anon and Nar-Anon can slip back into old patterns and behaviors that are not conducive to good recovery. It isn't just about substance abuse and what we pick up to stuff and numb our feelings. Slip, not something we always do on a banana peel. Something we don't always recognize because it means falling back into things that are familiar and comfortable. New behaviours, patterns, and habits are not always comfortable and often they means risks and stepping into unchartered waters and into the unknown, so we need to let go of fear and walk in faith. Know that the program will work with us when we take our Higher Power with us and go where we are lead. It is a sad day when my Higher Power has more faith in me, than I have in Him. ![]()
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Love always, Jo I share because I care. ![]() |
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#18 | |
Super Moderator
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Hamilton, ON
Posts: 25,078
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I thought was was teaching him life skills and yet looking back, didn't have a lot of knowledge of my own to pass on. All I knew how to pass on to him was how to act when you are using or how you allow others to abuse you and take over your space. It is also important for me to make my own space in today. To have that safe place for me in which I can go to and take that inward journey. Even when there were others around, I need to have my chair and my table with my things that I needed for me. i.e. A candle, my books (mystery and meditation), my angel, animal, and nature cards, and my crystals. My space, by invitation only please. Which reminds me that it works both ways. ![]()
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Love always, Jo I share because I care. ![]() |
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#19 | |
Super Moderator
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Hamilton, ON
Posts: 25,078
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God-Centered which I believe to be me, doing and being the kind of person my God would have me be in today. All I can do is try, by helping you, I help me. Yet I can't give away what I don't have, and if I don't take the time to fill up, then I am running around on fumes. Even in recovery, I can still look outward instead of taking the time to look inward and deal with my own stuff. Recovery isn't a one time deal. Just because I go through the Steps once, doesn't make them a done deal. If I am focused on what others are doing in my life, I forget that when I do that, I often put my life on hold. I am no longer living, I am existing. As it says, there is no right or wrong answer. Sometimes the best way to get out of self and me is to help someone else!
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Love always, Jo I share because I care. ![]() |
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#20 | |
Super Moderator
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Hamilton, ON
Posts: 25,078
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Love always, Jo I share because I care. ![]() |
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