Wisdom For Today - February

[bluidkiti]

February 16

Wisdom for Today
I paid my dues for membership in the program through my years of addictive using. But these are the dues only for membership. In recovery I still need to do my part and accept the responsibilities that come with working the program and following its principles. I am part of a much bigger whole, but I am still only one person. The program provides me with the principles I need to discover the life that is hidden inside of me, the life that my Higher Power wants me to live. I still have to walk the walk. I am given privileges in the program as I get more clean time under my belt. It becomes my responsibility to share in the work of the program.
I remember my first responsibility given to me. My sponsor told me to clean up after the meetings. My first reaction was, "Am I the maid?" I did not say this out loud, but complained in my head the whole time. Looking back now, I can see that it was good for me to do this service. I learned about humility. I learned about acceptance. I learned about responsibility. Later I was asked to chair a meeting or give a lead for the topic of discussion. Eventually I was asked to become a general service representative and even asked to plan a presentation for a recovery retreat. Each time I have been asked to serve, I have learned more about myself. I have learned more about what makes the fellowship work. I continue to pay my dues through service. Am I willing to serve and give back what I have been given?
Meditations for the Heart
Gratitude is one of my greatest weapons in the war of addiction. When I find my heart filled with gratitude, I no longer have time for self-pity. There is no room in my heart for deceit when it is filled with gratitude. Gratitude leads me to praise God for all that He has done for me, and it compels me to be of service to others. Gratitude also has a way of creating a strong sense of security in recovery. Gratitude changes my perspective on life, and I begin to see all the little things in life that happen as a part of God's plan for me. Gratitude helps me to discover the life that is inside of me. It leads me to a place of serenity and peace of mind. Gratitude helps me eliminate unrealistic expectations and accept the gifts that are provided to me in abundance. Do I have a grateful heart?
Petitions to my Higher Power
God,
Teach me to be of service to others, so that I might also learn more about me. Help me to see all the gifts that I can receive through a life of service to others. Let me not be obsessed with material things and focus more on the spiritual things that will last. Let me find all the gifts that You provide along this journey and be filled with gratitude.
Amen.

[bluidkiti]

February 17

Wisdom for Today
Not every day in recovery goes smoothly. In fact, I have had a few days that just seemed a little better than a train wreck. When days like this happen, I need to go back to the basics. Don't drink or use, and go to a meeting, say the Serenity Prayer, call my sponsor and anything else I have to do to make it from the beginning of the day till the end of the day. One of the first things I need to do is get out of my heart. My emotions tend to run wild on these kinds of days. It is dangerous for me to get so wrapped up in my emotions. They can add fuel to the fire and make life crazy. My thinking at these times usually isn't much better. That is why it is so important for me to be comfortable and ready to ask for help. To quote the Big Book, "Without help it is too much for us."
On days when everything is spinning out of control, I really need help to gain a healthy perspective on life. I need other people. It is so easy for me to make everything a catastrophe. My friends in the program are quick to remind me of the principles of the program. They help me see the "big picture." I am reminded that even my worst days clean and sober are better than addiction. I am reminded where my strength comes from. I am reminded of choosing God's will for me and asking for His power to help me through my current troubles. Sometimes my friends can even get me to laugh at myself. It is amazing what friends can do. It is days like this that remind me that, "It works if you work it." Am I willing to go to any length?
Meditations for the Heart
Making it through days like I just described have a profound effect on me. My faith in the program and in my Higher Power is ultimately strengthened. It helps me build character. It helps me see that I really am grateful to have the program and my friends in recovery to fall back on. It is times like these that have really cemented the bond that I have with my sponsor. It also shows me that I can get through the tough times. The principles of surrender, turning it over, checking myself out, admitting my mistakes and renewing my relationship with God all have helped me through the tough times. One of the promises of the program is, "We will intuitively know how to handle situations that used to baffle us." Getting through the hard times is proof that the promises do come true. Am I grateful for the things I learn in getting through the hard times?
Petitions to my Higher Power
God,
I am not sure why hard times occur, but I am sure that You will help me get through them. I am grateful for the tools that I receive through the program. Most of all, I am grateful for the sense of hope that You provide to me when I need it most. My days are not all bad anymore, and I am sure that You will give me many more good days. Thank You for keeping me clean and sober today!
Amen.

[bluidkiti]

February 18

Wisdom for Today
There was a time when this country drafted young men into service of their country. This is not the case with the program. We are not drafted into service, but we volunteer. Service work is a part of what keeps the program strong, and it is a part of what keeps me strong. When I offer to be of service to others in the program, I am volunteering to help myself. Through loyal attendance and generosity of my time, I can find many opportunities to be of service to the program and others. The type of service is not what is important; it is how I go about providing this service.
One thing that I have found true for myself is that when I go about providing service work, if I do this to the best of my ability and am genuinely invested in helping, I leave with a sense of humble thanks for what I get out of doing this work. Whether it is making coffee, chairing a meeting, spending time with a newcomer or sponsoring someone, I am made a better person because of it. I get out of my self-centeredness and become interested in others. I gain a sense of usefulness. I feel like what I am doing is worthwhile. I find many gifts in my life because of the service work I do. Am I willing to give my time and energy back to the program that saved my life?
Meditations for the Heart
Prayer provides answers and strength. It does not matter how we go about praying. Any connection with God is one that brings strength and direction. When I first sobered up, I really had little idea about how to pray. These first prayers in recovery however were some of the most powerful. Simple statements like, "God, help me!” said a lot. I was connected, and I got what I needed from my Higher Power. As I have grown in my relationship with my Higher Power, my prayer life has grown and changed. I still pray for what I need, but I also pray for others and what they need. I pray for guidance in my decision making process. I pray in thanks and gratitude. I pray in new ways, like a simple glance upward and think about what God wants. I pray with tears, and I pray with laughter. I pray with all of me – my mind, my heart, and my very soul. Am I staying plugged into my Higher Power?
Petitions to my Higher Power
God,
Show me this day how I may be of service to others. Let me not be afraid of where this may lead me but trust that You will guide me in all that I do. Thank You for letting me stay plugged into You. Help me this day to reach out to You in all that I do and seek Your direction for my life.
Amen.

[bluidkiti]

February 19

Wisdom for Today
When I first got clean and sober, I found that there were a lot of times that I continued to glorify my party days. I would "romance the high" in my head. But this only led to trouble. I would get into stinking thinking, and before long came the cravings or urges to drink or get high. When I finally got past that initial obsession and started to settle down in my recovery, I began to realize that there was an awful lot that I didn't miss about my party days. I really didn't miss waking up with my head feeling three sizes too big. I didn't miss all the aches and pains, the stomachaches, or the three-day binges and empty wallet.
I began to enjoy knowing what I did the day before. I really liked that I wasn't constantly chasing after my alibis. I began to like the feeling of fitting in that I found at meetings. I liked being able for a change to look at myself in the mirror. I liked the fact that my hands didn't shake when I was trying to brush my hair, shave or clean my teeth. I started to feel good about my job. I started to feel like I was a part of my family again. In fact, everything seemed to be going better. Do I still miss the party days?
Meditations for the Heart
I believe that each of us is born with a knowledge of God in our heart; a fire that grows in our heart as we become more conscious of Him as we grow spiritually. I all but smothered any awareness of this relationship when I was actively drinking and using. Yet, out of the smoke and ashes of my addiction, God saw to it that a spark remained. And from this spark a new fire could be started within me. This new fire started again with flames of wanting to live the right way. As the fire was fed with new tinder and fuel in the program, it grew into flames that wanted to do things the way my Higher Power would want me to do them. As I grew in my relationship with God, as I understand Him, the fire grew and transformed me from someone who followed my Higher Power into someone who walked with God. The fire grew into a companionship with God. Do I work to keep my spiritual fire burning and growing?
Petitions to my Higher Power
God,
A big part of not missing the past is living in today with You. Help me to keep my spiritual fire burning and increase my desire to be ever closer to Your Divine Spirit. Let me this day begin to increase my willingness to seek You out in all that I do. Constantly remind me that You are with me, and help me to trust that You will always give me the strength I need for the day.
Amen.

[bluidkiti]

February 20

Wisdom for Today
Because I have learned to put my addiction in God’s hands, I am in a unique position to help others do the same thing. When I first came into the program, I really relied on the strength of the group. My home group served as a channel to give the strength that I needed to make it in recovery. It took me a while to understand that what the group did for me was serve as a connection to God’s strength. This strength is what I needed, because I was bankrupt of any power of my own. I was powerless. I needed to draw on the strength that my home group, sponsor and ultimately my Higher Power could provide. Today is no different. I still need to draw on that same strength, not so much to stay clean and sober, but to deal with life’s problems.

What has changed is that now that the compulsion to drink or use drugs has been removed, I can be a part of the group that serves as a channel to God’s strength. Because of His grace, I am now in a unique position to share what I have been given. I can look into a newcomer’s eyes and know what they are going through. So with compassion, understanding and patience, I can reach out and offer the strength that is so desperately needed by the newcomer. I can use my own defeat and failures, my experience and my illness to help others. Will I use what I have been given to help others?
Meditations for the Heart
I always used to want my shot glass filled. Now I want my “CUP” filled. Compassion, Understanding and Patience (CUP) are what I need in reaching out to others. I try not to let a day go by without reaching out to someone with this new cup I have been given. Whether it is my children, family, friends or a newcomer that have just walked through the doors of the program, I try to do something to lift up others. Once I was in the pit of despair and discouragement. I was lifted out of this pit. Now it is my turn to reach out to others and raise them to a new place – a place that is filled with hope, courage, faith and health. I can provide strength to others and help them with what burdens them. I can give away what I was so freely given. Am I willing to reach out to others in Compassion, Understanding, and Patience?
Petitions to my Higher Power
God,

I am beginning to understand what the writer of the Psalm meant when he said, “My cup runs over.” Truly I am blessed on this path called recovery. I can get what I need from You at anytime I need it. Because of this I am filled and have extra strength to give to others. My shot glass ran dry, but now my cup runs over.

Amen.

[bluidkiti]

February 21

Wisdom for Today
“Rarely have we seen a person fail who has thoroughly followed our path.” This is the miracle and the stumbling block of the program. I recall feeling like such a failure in my life because of my addiction. I was doing everything that I did not want to do and nothing that I wanted to do. I really did not want to hurt all the people I hurt. I really did not want to experience all the consequences that addiction to alcohol and drugs supplied. I really did not want to get to a point where I would have to use just to feel normal. But this is exactly what happened with my disease, and I was left feeling like a failure.

This sentence provided me with a real sense of hope. The sheer number of people I saw at meetings provided me with hope. I saw the miracle working for others, and this sentence gave me hope that I could get clean and sober as well. All I had to do was thoroughly follow the path. Yet this is where the stumbling block is for so many. I am willing to do everything except ... . This is what made me fall on my face, and I have watched as others fell on their face as well – all because I was not willing to thoroughly follow the path. Surrender is what finally put me on this pathway to recovery. Am I willing to be thorough today?
Meditations for the Heart
I am not sure when it happened, but somewhere along the line I realized that everything that was happening to me in recovery was a gift. It was not something I earned, but something that was given to me. There are many times when I have strayed away from the path of recovery only to be led back. When I stray, I don’t always drink or use. Most of the time it is not going to a meeting or not using and working the steps. I act just like a dumb sheep that wanders away from the flock. Fortunately, my Higher Power is a Good Shepherd that leads me back time and time again. I could never have gotten clean and sober on my own. Recovery is the gift I have been given. My Higher Power keeps me on the path. Do I see the gift that recovery is?
Petitions to my Higher Power
God,

If it were up to me I would have failed over and over again. My way never seems to work. But You have all power, and it is You that keep me on the path. I know I have to walk this path and that no one can walk this path for me, but it is You that keeps me on the path. Thank You for leading me today.
Amen.

[bluidkiti]

February 22

Wisdom for Today
Sometimes the things I hear at meetings confuse me. It seems that some of the things that are said are in direct contradiction to each other. Some that bothered me for a long time were people saying things like, “Get out of your head,” and “My best thinking got me drinking.” Statements like these are inconsistent with the slogan, “Think, think, think” and the Serenity Prayer’s statement, “and the wisdom to know the difference.” When things just don’t seem to make sense, this is when I need to talk with my sponsor, who always seems to have a way of straightening me out.

He told me that much of the program is filled with paradox, things that don’t seem to make sense but work. He explained that there was a big difference between thinking with my emotions and thinking with the wisdom of my Higher Power. For example, when I get into dwelling on events and people that bring up feelings of fear or resentment, I can go for long walks in my head and stray from the path of recovery. However, if I look at the same situation through the eyes of my Higher Power, life looks different. Other paradoxes are more complicated like surrendering to find freedom or quitting in order to win. Yet these paradoxes of recovery indeed work. The good news is I don’t have to figure it all out, I just need to trust that it works; and if I am confused, I need to ask for help. Do I have someone to whom I can talk to about my questions?
Meditations for the Heart
The wisdom of the program is something that can be acquired. I know there were times I felt awfully stupid early on. Between my brain just not working right and my will getting me into trouble, I began to wonder if I would ever get it right. Then I read a statement in the Big Book, “Are these promises extravagant? We think not. They are happening among us every day.” The promises of the program tell me that I will intuitively know how to handle situations that baffled me. So I continued to study the program literature, talk with my sponsor, pray and listen at meetings; and I slowly began to learn the wisdom that exists in the program. I could claim it for my use. I could get out of my head and into my Higher Power’s head. I memorized key things from my sponsor like, “I will not drink or use no matter how bad life seems.” All these things increased my wisdom. But the most important thing I have learned is that I can never stop learning. Am I willing to invest my time and energy into gaining more of the wisdom that the program has to offer?
Petitions to my Higher Power
God,

Get into my head before I do. Help me this day to focus my energy on gaining the wisdom the program has to offer. Let me bring all my thoughts to You and evaluate them in the light of Your will for me. Let me spend my time seeking to improve my contact with You and gain true wisdom for recovery.

Amen.

[bluidkiti]

February 23

Wisdom for Today
Sometimes, it seems that one thing after another goes wrong, even in recovery. It is at times like this when I am most likely to let my character defects come out to play. When things aren't going well and I seem to have lost my spiritual equilibrium, I seem to look to my old behaviors to cope with the situations. What I have learned is there is no problem I have currently that I can't make worse. Early in my recovery, it was times like this that I thought about drinking or using. After I figured out how to stay clean and sober, I could screw things up just as bad with my old behavior.
It is in these times, that it becomes especially important for me to rely on my Higher Power. When I rely on my own power I quickly get into old and unhealthy thinking. I am capable of making poor choices and react to life rather than respond to things in a healthy manner. I have come to accept that I will never get this perfectly right. I just want to make progress. I cannot do this on my own. So when things get rough, I stop, and I ask for help. My way doesn't work. I know and trust that my Higher Power's way will work better. Do I ask for help when I need too?
Meditations for the Heart
Sometimes the road to recovery seems long and hard. I need to rest along the way and know God will give me the rest I need. The problem is that I have a hard time getting back up to continue my journey. I remember hearing someone say at a meeting one time, "If I have one more growth experience, I am going to kill myself." I know just how that person was feeling. Particularly in dealing with character defects, the road seems long. I still think like an addict sometimes and want immediate gratification. Yet, I know the easier, quicker way does not provide lasting results. I know I have to get back up and continue on the path that my Higher Power sets before me. When God says it is time to continue the journey, do I want to procrastinate?
Petitions to my Higher Power
God,
I know that recovery is not always easy. In fact, sometimes it seems downright difficult. It is in these times that I need You most. Lead me onward, give me rest when I need it, and inspire me to get back up and continue the journey when You want me to. Help me to understand that even in the difficult days I sometimes face, You are always with me.
Amen

[bluidkiti]

February 24

Wisdom for Today

It seems to me that all of us are faced with three choices when we look at the concept of God, as we understand Him. I do believe there is a significant variation within these three choices, but I have accepted that each of us in recovery really have only these three choices. The first choice is that there is a God. The second choice is there is no god. And the third choice is, I am god. I think these are the choices we all face.

Looking at these choices, it is easy to see that I am not god. While it is true that I have gravitated to behaving this way at times, when I try and control the universe and make things go my way and in my time, I can see that I am not powerful enough to be god. I could choose to believe there is no god, but this would make me believe that the universe has no origin and simply rushes about going nowhere. That’s practically impossible to believe. The last choice is to believe there is a God, who cares about all people. I have no problem believing in a higher power - alcohol and drugs certainly were more powerful than I. I turned my will and my life over to addiction and watched my life being destroyed. I have also seen many miracles at meetings - people who were just as beaten down as I was, who were freed from the bondage to this disease. Who did that? Do I believe there is a Higher Power that can and does restore addicts and alcoholics?

Meditations for the Heart

The spiritual life is filled with choices. Do I believe, am I willing to trust, will I wait, and can I let go are just a few of the choices. Each day brings new spiritual choices. The sad thing is that most of us don’t take the time to see these choices. This refusal to see these choices paradoxically in and of itself is a choice. Every situation that I face in every day that I live, I have spiritual choices. Do I have to control this, or do I have to do this all by myself, or can I ask for help are a part of my days. I can choose to believe, and I can choose to look at life through spiritual eyes. Or I can walk blindly through my days. Do I look for ways to include spirituality in my decision making process?

Petitions to my Higher Power

God,
Too often I walk through my day with blinders on and refuse to see the whole picture that is life. Help me to take these blinders off and see the spiritual side of life as well. Let me find new ways to open my eyes as I walk through this day.
Amen.

[bluidkiti]

February 25

Wisdom for Today
"Many of us tried to hold onto our old ideas. The result was nil until we let go absolutely." Like many addicts and alcoholics, I tried to find an “easier, softer way.” I looked for a back door and wanted out of my addiction. In many ways I fought against recovery in the beginning. I wanted to do it my way and on my terms. But my way wasn't working. I kept on getting frustrated because I was trying to do it on my terms. I wanted to get by on just a few meetings. I wanted to still see my old using buddies. But my way just did not work. I guess I tried every game I knew, but the only person I was conning was myself.
I was at a point where I had to make a decision. I either had to go back to the insanity of my addiction and lose more than I already had, or I had to let go and follow the program. Funny thing is that when you are at the end of your rope, it is hard to let go! I had no way of knowing what was going to happen. This letting go meant that I had to trust the program blindly. I knew I could not keep holding onto my addiction. That would only lead to a path of destruction. I had to let go absolutely. It was the only sane option I had left. Have I let go absolutely?
Meditations for the Heart
Love is the power that transformed my life. It was God's love for me that saved me from the pit of absolute despair, destruction and death. I crawled out of the depression left by my disease only with God's help. Love also changed everything else in my life. When I started to reach out to my family, to others in the program and friends with love, things definitely began to change. When I began to reach out to my Higher Power with genuine gratitude and love, more good things started to happen for me. This love for God, as I understand Him, was rooted in the acknowledgment that He had blessed me with a chance at recovery. He continues to bless me by showing me the path that I need to take each day. I am not sure when it happened exactly, but somewhere along the way I also learned to love myself again. Do I continue to thank God for His many blessings?
Petitions to my Higher Power
God,
Looking back I really don't understand why it was so hard to let go. I just know that it was hard. I am so grateful for the miracles You have bought about in my life. Forgive me when I lose sight of what got me to where I am now. Help me again this day to keep letting go and trusting You to be in charge of my life.
Amen.

[bluidkiti]

February 26

Wisdom for Today
Sometimes when I stop and think about it, I realize just how fortunate I am. What would I have done if there were no Twelve Step program around? I think about what it must have been like in the days when alcoholics and addicts ended up in the asylum and were declared hopeless by the doctors that treated them. I know I would have ended up dead. But I was fortunate enough to get good treatment and get introduced to the Twelve Step program. When I read about the history of the beginnings of AA and think about what it must have been like for these people, sometimes waiting a month or more to get to a meeting, I am amazed they even made it. Guess it just shows that working the steps, trusting in a Higher Power and taking it one day at a time really works.
The program has taken my life from a pile of rubble and transformed it into something wonderful. This is not to say that I don't still have my share of problems; I do. But my life has been rebuilt through the process of working the steps and using the tools I have been given. The program has taken my personality, beliefs and attitudes and reshaped them and molded me into something that I really like. I am grateful for this new way of living and for the wealth of resources that are available to me. Have I found a better way to live my life through the program?
Meditations for the Heart
When I have a million things going on in my life, it becomes especially hard to listen to God. It seems that my attention is torn in many different directions at once, and none of these directions leads to a place of communion with my Higher Power. In these busy times it is very important to start my day with the same routine, reading my program literature and talking to God in prayer. It is important for me to start off my day centered with God. If I don't do this, I find that I hurry into my day and get off center very quickly. Just this simple act in the morning can keep me centered throughout my day. On those days that I seem to be loosing touch and drifting off center, my morning routine reminds me that I need to stop long enough to get back in touch with my Higher Power and get centered again. Do I have a routine for starting my day off right?
Petitions to my Higher Power
God,
In quietness I come to You to listen to You talk to me through my thoughts and feelings. I come to You to be filled with the strength I need for the day. I come to You to help me focus on what it important and how to accomplish the tasks I have. Thank You for the wonderful people You have placed in my life – this fellowship of brothers and sisters that can listen to me scream and can listen to me laugh. I am truly grateful for the program and for my relationship with You.
Amen.

[bluidkiti]

February 27

Wisdom for Today
If the program has taught me anything, it has taught me patience. I never was willing to wait for anything, and I had little tolerance for things not going my way or in my time. I always wanted it my way now. I couldn’t wait to get something to drink. I couldn’t wait to get high. I couldn’t wait for my problems to go away. Unfortunately, I was waiting for magic that never came. I was no different when I walked into the program. I wanted it now. I struggled at first to accept that recovery takes time. I remember my sponsor asking me how long it took me to become addicted and how long I spent drinking and drugging. He was implying that my recovery would take at least as long. I was not happy about this question.

I prayed prayers that simply asked God, “How long?” and “When?” My impatience seemed to get me nowhere. It really wasn’t until I stopped being so concerned about time and more concerned about my willingness to change that things started to improve. When I stopped focusing on timeframes and expectations and finally started to focus on being open to God’s plan and His timeframe, things suddenly seemed different. Life was better, and I was no longer in such a hurry. I have opportunities every day to practice patience. Some times I do pretty well with this, and other times I do less well. Can I look back and see that I am more patient and tolerant than I used to be?
Meditations for the Heart
Soul sickness is a big part of what happens in addiction. It is a big part of what needs to heal in recovery. I had reached a point in my life when I couldn’t even recognize that I even had a soul, let alone care if I did. Recovery has helped me to again care for my soul, the part of me that gives true meaning to life. Life seemed so meaningless in active addiction, but in recovery I have found new meaning for my life. I have learned to care for my soul by connecting to a Divine Spirit who leads, guides and shows me the way. I find deeper and deeper meaning in my life the longer I stay clean and sober and the longer I keep using the steps and principles of the program. Today my soul can shout out, “If God is with me, then who can be against me.” I no longer have to fear if my soul is being cared for. Do I care for myself, body and soul?
Petitions to my Higher Power
God,

Help me this day to focus on living life in Your timeframes. Guide me, lead me and show me the way to tolerance and patience. Teach me to care for myself in all that I do. Let me find continued healing by continuing my recovery work today. Let me not hurry through my day, but slow down enough to see the bigger picture of life.

Amen.

[bluidkiti]

February 28

Wisdom for Today
In looking at myself and my actions throughout the day, I have a tendency to quickly jump through my list and not really look at the problems I experience very closely. I think this is true for all of us. No one likes to look at his or her problems. I have natural defenses that pop up and try to block me from honestly evaluating what has happened. Yet I know that if I really want to grow in my recovery, I need to take a close look at my problems. I need to take inventory.

It typically is not that I am unwilling; it is just that I am in a hurry, or I want to make light of my problems. I do have a choice however. I can chose to slow down and not make excuses and look closely at my behavior and my motives. I can chose to learn from my experiences in life, or I can keep doing things the same way. When I am willing to look at my role in the problems I experience and at what I was hoping to accomplish, when I look at why I behaved the way I did and the choices I made, then I open the door to growth. Growth is a choice. It is not always easy, but it always is of benefit to me. Am I willing to keep growing in my recovery?
Meditations for the Heart
I think that there are times when each of us in recovery gets stuck. I find there are times when I just stagnate or get lazy or simply avoid the work needed to keep growing. Generally these stuck points do not threaten my recovery if I am willing to get back on track and do what I need to do. I know, however, that these stuck points in my recovery if ignored can really get me in trouble. They are no different than my addiction to alcohol and drugs – short-term gain and long-term pain. In these times when I get stuck in my recovery and can’t seem to move forward, it becomes especially important for me to turn to my Higher Power. I need to ask for help again to get unstuck, whatever the problem. Whether it is fear, sadness, shame and anger or hurt that blocks me, I need to turn this over to God and open the door to growing past my stuck point. Early in my recovery seeds of hope were planted in my life, took root and started to grow. I have a choice. I can wait for someone to bring me flowers, which never happens; or I can grow my own with God’s help. Do I continue to work in my garden to grow the flowers of my life?
Petitions to my Higher Power
God,

You know everything about me. You have examined my heart and know my inmost motives. Teach me to recognize the motives I have and help me to choose healthy motives for my behavior. Let me follow after You today in all that I do. Should I get stuck along the way, help me to find the courage I need to move onward and continue to grow in my recovery, a recovery that is a gift from You.

Amen.

[bluidkiti]

February 29

Wisdom for Today
I have to admit that I used alcohol and drugs to escape, even if it was only temporary. I wanted a way out of my boredom. I wanted a way out of my troubles. I wanted to relieve my stress and anxiety. What I got was a quick fix and long-term pain. Substance use was not the answer I was looking for. Instead I ended up in more trouble and in more stress. My boredom was replaced by fear.
In the program I have found a healthy escape. I am not bored, and I have found true relief. Many of my problems have improved over time. I no longer walk in anxiety and fear. When I was drinking, I looked for self-importance. I looked for friends I could buy or manipulate. In the program I am not interested in self-importance. I have learned about things like self-respect and honesty and humility. Today these are of much more value to me than that inflated shell of a person I was. I find a true satisfaction in knowing myself, both the strengths and the weaknesses. Have I found a healthier way to live in recovery?
Meditations for the Heart
I believe that my faith and God’s power can accomplish anything. Even the difficulties I face in life now can be handled in a way that brings me to a place of peace. I can accomplish much with the help of my Higher Power. Walls that stand in my way can be made to crumble because of the strength, courage and hope I am given daily in recovery. Yes, it is easy to slide back into “old” behaviors and beliefs when I get wrapped up in my problems or myself. But when I stay focused on God’s will for me, I am given the power to carry out the task. No matter how big or how small, I know I have help. Am I willing to ask for help when I need it? Do I do this daily?
Petitions to my Higher Power
God,
Today give me faith, and help me to know that You are with me in all that I do. Teach me to walk with humility along this path. This path is not one that I know. Guide me to a willingness to ask for help along the way.
Amen.