Even More Recovery Readings and Meditations - April

[bluidkiti]

April 16

Step by Step

Today, start to forgive myself and let go of any guilt I harbor for failing or not getting the chance to make amends to someone who is no longer able to hear them. If someone I injured is not able to receive my amends, may God grant me the comfort in remembering the good I hopefully showed that person before active alcoholism inflicted its damage. And if I can no longer go to that person although I wish I could, let my amend be progress in recovery and not imposing injury or hurt on anyone else. Forgiving has to begin at home, and without forgiving myself, I probably cannot “allow” anyone else to forgive me. Today, I take responsibility for harm I did the person to whom I can no longer make amends, and my sincerest apology may be progress in recovery. There will be no amends if I let my guilt take up the bottle again. And our common journey continues. Step by step. – Chris M.

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~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~

SEIZE THE DAY

Possibilities and miracles are one and the same.

~ Anonymous ~

Many of us have seen happiness as a goal we couldn’t find. When we were children, we were taught that “life is a hard row to hoe.” We carried that over into our adult lives.

Seize the day! We let too many of our days just slide by. None of those hours can be replaced. Why worry over past failures if there is a victory to win? Why keep thinking about our faults when we could be practicing virtues instead?

Seize the day! Hold each moment tight and look at each one with wide-open eyes and mind. They are our lives, special to each of us. The moments pass swiftly into memory. Let those memories be good ones, filled with joys large and small.

Yesterday’s unhappiness can’t be changed, but today’s happiness is my own responsibility.

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~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~

Anger is a great energizer if you don’t get stuck in it

~ Lavonne Stewart ~

Many of us have to face up to our anger and the negative ways we have handled it. For most men, the real problem is not anger itself, but how we express it. Some of us never express it; others get abusive when we express it. Either way calls for more growth. Often, people confuse anger with abuse. They may say, “I just have to express my feelings, and when I’m angry, I have to let it out.” Other people say, “Anger is so hurtful. I will avoid it at all costs.”

Healing requires that we look to see the sources of our anger, how we have expressed it or failed to, and then learn how to say our feelings honestly and with respect. When we see what we are actually angry about, it gives us energy, it motivates us. It’s a life force. There is no rule that we have to show our anger in destructive ways. We can be flat-out angry at someone we love and still maintain the respect we hold for that person. It is possible to learn to look at a friend and say, “I feel angry about this and I’m here to tell you about it be-cause I care about our friendship.”

Today I will accept my angry feelings as a source of life energy, and I will find honest, respectful ways to show it

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~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~

Everything passes, and as I flow with this river of highs and lows, I become calm. I trust my experience and the life force guiding me.

~ Ruthie Albert ~

Everything passes. There is perhaps no greater comfort when we’re caught in the throes of trauma than the knowledge that this too shall pass. We lived many years without this knowledge as we struggled to change the unchangeable. Unfortunately, the only thing that changed was our level of frustration: it got higher. Now we know that we can patiently wait for a situation to pass. Nothing lasts forever.

The good times pass too, of course. We hope to hold on to them, but the same principle applies. The minutes tick by, carrying us to new experiences. What we need to learn will become known to us through both the good times and the struggles. They all will pass, having prepared us for the highs and lows that wait to serve us.

I am at peace with the knowledge that everything passes. My needs will be met today.

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~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~

I am accepting my dual disorder

I know I have an addiction and I know that addiction is an illness, a disease. But it’s hard for me to believe that I have an “emotional,” or “psychiatric,” or “mental” illness. I always pictured such people in a hospital or institution. I thought of them as “crazy.”

These days I am finding out how mistaken I’ve been. Such people are not crazy, they’re not always in a hospital or institutionalized. More likely, they’re with me at work, with me at the store, with me in church. They are like me and I am like them. In fact, I am one of them.

I will write out an affirmation that reads, “I am more like other people than I am different.”

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~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~

So teach us to number our days, that we may apply our hearts unto wisdom.

~ Psalms 90:12 ~

Modem technology lets us record the past and predict the future, but the time that is really alive — the time when we’re really alive — is now, right this moment.

Up until now we may have tried to block out, distort, or gloss over what was happening. We may be ashamed of the past or fear the future, while we completely miss the real meaning and action of the moment we’re in.

Recovery gives us the tools to live in the moment by helping us keep it simple, put first things first, and practice “easy does it.” We are more able to see the joy of living this day.

Knowing we are no longer alone, knowing we have the comfort of our Higher Power, each moment gives us the confidence to stay alive in the present in a healthy, sober way — one day at a time.

Today help me realize I don’t have the events of yesterday or tomorrow in my grasp right now. Show me the joy of today.

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~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~

What is the use of climbing Mount Everest? If you cannot understand that there is something in man which responds to the challenge of this mountain and goes out to meet it . . . then you won’t see why we go.

~ George Leigh Mallory ~

In experiments with deer mice in captivity, researchers discovered the animals exhibited behaviors that favored decision making. For example, the mice were able to control the lighting in their cages. The mice preferred dim lighting, but if researchers made the cage completely dark, the mice would make the light as bright as possible. If the researchers turned the lights up bright, the mice would make the cage dark. “They cared about choice more than comfort,” wrote the researchers. “When given the opportunity to manage their environment, they battled fiercely for control.”

When you were using, your habit held you captive by its power over your life. But when you resolved to be free from your addiction, you regained control of your life.

Your daily commitment to the program is one of choice. Abstinence provides a foundation from which your freedom emanates and from which you can make choices— both in your recovery, and in your life.

Today I am grateful for the release from the imprisonment of my addiction. I am free from its control, and free to make choices.

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~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~

I am more involved in unlearning than learning. I’m having to unlearn all the garbage that people have laid on me.

~ Leo Buscaglia ~

What are some of the messages we got while growing up? That we were awful people, or stupid, or unemployable, or lazy, or unlikeable? These messages may have turned into beliefs as we grew older, and we’ve carried these horrible, negative burdens into adulthood.

Today we may have seen ourselves acting like children again. We may have done or said things to get approval and acceptance. We may have been less than honest with others so they wouldn’t see the real us – and perhaps not like what they saw.

We can start to change some of the things we’ve learned. We don’t have to do anything unless it is what we need to do for our healthy growth. We don’t have to be someone we aren’t. We can be totally honest with ourselves and others even at the risk of possible rejection. We can speak our minds and feel our feelings.

I am in charge of my lesson plan. Who are the ones I choose to teach me?

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~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~

Working on our goals

Our goal of staying clean and sober is a good one. At the spiritual level it is clear, but at the practical level some of us lack a commitment to it. Some of us even believe that the program won’t work for us.

Such a belief is only an excuse not to realize our goals. We must work hard to hang on to our goals when fear, selfishness, and lack of faith get in our way.

Am I working on my goals?

Higher Power, help my unbelief so that I may understand you on both a practical and a spiritual level.

The goals I will work on today are

God help me to stay clean and sober today!

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~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~

Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards.

~ SOREN KIERKEGAARD ~

Newcomer

When I look at Step Four, the phrase “the exact nature of our wrongs” sounds so grim and old-fashioned. I don’t know if I can face my past that way.

Sponsor

We have a phrase—“the arrogant worm”—to express the way some of us think of ourselves: one moment we’re too important to take the Steps; another moment we’re the worst things that ever walked the face of the earth. Both are distortions. I’m a human being living among other human beings. I’m not a saint, but I’m not a worm, either. Words I’ve said or failed to say, and actions I’ve taken or not taken have had an impact both on other people and on myself. Chances are that the behavior I’d most like to forget is the behavior most important to include in my inventory,

The point of this Step isn’t just to list our faults, nor is it to beat ourselves up for them. Nor is it to complain about the ways we’ve been victimized by people or circumstances. It is to look at where our addictions have taken us.

In recovery, I cherish my innate sense of right and wrong. Today, it leads me to take actions for which I esteem myself.

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~ THE EYE OPENER ~

Man is the only animal that smiles and he is the only one that has need of it. Not that God provided more for the animal kingdom than He did for us, but man, through the stupid misuse of his will power and his other advantages, has brought misfortunes upon himself that would be unendurable but for the healing balm of smiles and a sense of humor.

No man is completely beaten as long as he can smile, and we know from past experience that we can wade out of most our messes on the stepping stones of good humored grins.

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~ WALK SOFTLY AND CARRY A BIG BOOK ~ (Official & Unofficial Sloganeering From the 12 Step Programs) ~

1) My Gratitude Speaks When I Care and I Share With Others the NA Way.

2) Serenity is not freedom from the storm but peace within the storm.

3) If there is someone weaker than you, be kind to them. If there is someone stronger than you, be kind to yourself.

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~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~

Amazing Grace

Amazing grace! How sweet the sound
That saved a wretch like me.
I once was lost, but now am fond,
Was blind, but now I see.

‘Twas grace that taught my heart to fear,
And grace my fears relieved.
How precious did that grace appear
The hour I first believed.

Through many dangers, toils, and snares,
I have already come.
‘Tis grace that brought me safe thus far,
And grace will lead me home.

When we’ve been here ten thousand years,
Bright shining as the sun,
We’ve no less days to sing God’s praise
Than when we’d first begun.

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~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~

TAKE STOCK OF YOUR RELIGION

What has our religion done for you? For years probably, you have been attending church, reading spiritual books, studying the Bible. Now I suggest that you have a spiritual stocktaking. Ask yourself what difference religion has made in your life, in your home, in your affairs. How much peace of mind has it given you? How much courage? How much understanding? How much opportunity for service? For, make no mistake, real religion does give all these things.

If your spiritual stocktaking does not turn out to be satisfactory, I believe that you will find the explanation to lie in the following law: What you put into your religion, that you get out of it.

If you put in 5 percent of yourself, you will receive a 5 percent dividend or demonstration. If you put in 20 percent of yourself, you will receive a 20 percent demonstration. Complete returns call for a 100 percent investment.

Whatsoever thy hand findeth to do, do it with thy might . . . (Ecclesiastes 9:10).

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~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~

In Their Best Light

Treat your friends as you do your pictures, and place them in their best light.

~ Jennie Jerome Churchill ~

It was probably a grace that Brenda passed away, I thought. My elderly neighbor was a severely addicted alcoholic, and, from what I saw, her life had little meaning. The few times I attempted to converse with Brenda I looked into her eyes, and it appeared that no one was home. She had to be in a better place now, I imagined. Then I talked to Marvin, a man whom Brenda and her husband had taken in as a caretaker. Marvin felt a great sense of loss in Brenda’s death.

“She was so good to me,” Marvin tearfully confided. “Like a mother. I will miss her a lot.” Through Marvin’s words, I gained a profound realization: I saw only one limited aspect of Brenda’s life. Even while I judged her life as empty, she had riches. She loved someone, and someone loved her. Her life, broken as it appeared to me, was a blessing to at least one other person. In spite of the ravages I beheld, God lived through her.

The Bible tells us not to judge—not because we should not judge, but because we cannot judge. When we hold a judgment about someone, we are focusing on one moment from one angle. At another moment or from another angle, we would see an entirely different person or story.

While visiting a children’s zoo, I watched a man become very abusive at the snack bar, ranting and raving at the clerk over a minor mishap. I thought, This guy is one ornery hombre. A few minutes later I saw a man feeding a fawn through a fence. As he tenderly stroked the deer’s nose and gave it love, he reminded me of St. Francis. When he turned his head, I saw that it was the same man who created the scene at the snack bar.

When we release judgment, we find God in every person. Moreover, we free ourselves to be lovable and forgivable. Judgment is illusion, and love is real.

I pray to see Your children as You do, through the eyes of love and appreciation.

I focus on the good and let all else go.

[bluidkiti]

April 17

Step by Step

Today, if I have avoided honesty in a relationship that began while drinking but now is broken because I have become sober and the other person hasn’t, I must confront the possibility that I have out-grown the relationship if the other person chooses to keep drinking. Just like the drinking alcoholic who lost his family and gained sobriety but didn’t get his family back, so it goes with other relationships. As difficult and painful the decision, the choice may be that my own recovery and sobriety are at the risk if I stay with a partner who is not ready or willing to get sober. And an unfortunate and unintended product of sobering up may be the reality that I don’t like the spouse or partner with whom alcohol was the tie that binds. A tough choice may boil down to the fact that I can’t sacrifice my sobriety to salvage a relationship that, in recovery, may not be healthy. Today, if I have to end a relationship because I am becoming healthier and the other person isn’t, I need only to look to my sobriety for validation. And our common journey continues. Step by step. – Chris M.

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~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~

SENSES

How good is man’s life, the mere living! How fit to employ all the heart and the soul and the senses forever in joy!

~ Robert Browning ~

Our senses are opened up and deepened in our recovery. We see, hear, smell, taste, and touch more strongly. We understand better. There is a beauty to life we could not see before.

We see order where once there was only confusion. We hear music where once there was only noise. We taste sweetness where once there was only bitterness. We smell freshness where once all was stale. We feel softness where once all was rough.

We seem to have changed into a higher form as a result of our Step work. We no longer feel like a wild animal caught in a hunter’s trap. We act more and more like human beings. We have an awareness of life that makes us capable of being creative.

I have come to see that the Twelve Steps are about the recovery of my whole person.

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~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~

Discipline is remembering what you want.

~ David Campbell ~

Not everyone chooses recovery easily. We were attached to our addictions and codependency, even if we didn’t want their consequences. They were not only our masters; we were also loyal to them. They gave us comfort, pleasure, and a high that nothing else could match. So where did we find motivation to change?

Somewhere within our souls we longed for some-thing of greater quality. We didn’t want to sacrifice our future for the fleeting pleasures or false escapes. We saw that our actions were ruining our own lives and the lives of our loved ones. We always thought we would change someday, and even while our lives were careening out of control, we promised ourselves to change tomorrow or sometime in the future. It was our greater vision, our longing for a better life, that led us to try the Twelve Step recovery program. Out of wanting something better we found the motivation to enter recovery.

Today I know that deep in my soul lies a desire to be a good man.

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~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~

What thoughts are you willing to give up your happiness for?

~ Jane Nelson ~

Far too quickly we put the responsibility for our happiness on others. We pout and blame and cry, but our lives never change. This doesn’t have to be true, however. We can decide to follow the example of the happier women we are discovering in this Twelve Step program. The difference between them and us is their willingness to be responsible for every thought they have, every feeling they harbor. It’s a simple change in mind-set, but it affects every aspect of their lives.

We are just as capable of finding happiness as any of the women we have grown to admire here. They have taken back their power from the others In their lives. They let no one decide how they are going to feel or think about a situation. They take charge of themselves. It’s not all that difficult or there would be far fewer successes. Let’s try it today.

I can purposefully decide how I’ll think and feel today. No one else’s behavior will control my own.

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~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~

I can’t help it, I’m changing

When I finally relapsed, I was despondent. I had done all I could do to stay abstinent and stable. I believed that since nothing had worked for me, nothing would work for me. I was tired of trying and tired of holding on. I gave up.

However, in giving up I learned an important concept: I cannot control change. As hard as I might try, I cannot stop change from happening. This makes me more willing to be patient, more willing to let time help the healing. Life is change. And though I may struggle and feel like a failure, I am in fact, changing. Being patient, holding on, is an important part of change.

Today I will do what I can for my recovery—and then let go.

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~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~

If I only see my mistakes,
I can’t stay sober very long.

~ Ben N. ~

Many of us review our days each evening just before sleep. This review can be a trial or a delight, depending on the focus. One way is to tote up only mistakes and errors, groaning about what we did wrong and how awful we are. What a self-defeating, depressing thing to do! Although we cannot live by bread alone, we cannot live by vinegar alone either. Looking at only the negatives can discourage us right into relapse. If we’re doing so badly, we reason, why continue with recoveiy?

Instead, we try concentrating on the good things we did, no matter how small. Did we make someone smile? Did we lighten someone’s burden with a kind word? Did we give a word of hope to a friend? Did we avoid a problem? Did we squelch an angry response? Did we forgive an enemy, eat a well- balanced meal, make amends to someone we had harmed in the past, go to a meeting, get a sponsor, tell the truth instead of making an excuse?

As small as they are, these are the real indicators of our progress in recovery. They are valid “good deeds” we can be proud of. When we review our day tonight, we can give ourselves the pat on the back we deserve. We’ve earned it.

Today help me be gentle with myself. Help me recognize the good things in my life.

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~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~

I don’t understand people who hide from their past. Everything you live through helps to make you the person you are now.

~ Sophia Loren ~

Two monks were walking when they came upon a woman waiting to cross a stream. One of the monks picked up the woman in his arms and carried her across the stream. The monks then resumed their walking. About a mile down the road, the other monk scolded the first. “We are celibate,” he said. “We are not supposed to even look at a woman, let alone pick one up and carry her across a stream. How could you possibly do that?” The first monk replied, “I put that woman down a mile back. Are you still carrying her around with you?”

Even though the past is gone, it brought you to where you are today. Without it, you would not be able to envision and work toward a better future. The Steps of the program teach that your past is an integral part of your recovery. You need to remember those you have harmed and make amends to them. You need to admit that your life was unmanageable. And you need to use the past as a platform from which you can seek forgiveness from your Higher Power.

Today I embrace and accept the past as a valuable teacher.

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~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~

Finish every day and be done with it. You have done what you could. Some blunders and absurdities no doubt crept in; forget them as soon as you can.

~ Ralph Waldo Emerson ~

Are we living in the present, or are we still reliving the past day? If we’re still looking backward, there are no surprises, no new wonders. It’s like viewing a television rerun – we already know the plot, the characters, and the dialogue.

Today is done. Whatever mistakes, confusions, disappointments or problems that occurred are also done. Nothing we do right now can alter the happenings of the day. We can best use our time now by paying attention to the present.

Tonight we can look around us at the here and now. We can turn off the reruns in our minds and get set for the new shows to come. We can start fresh and new – right now.

Can I let go of the events of the day?

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~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~

Struggling alone

Each of us is a struggling soul. We had to struggle with our addictions for some time before we found this program, and eventually each struggling soul must face the realities of life. If we face the trials of life alone, we will fall.

But if we make our will one with our Higher Power in the Third Step, nothing will be too much to bear. After taking this Step, we will realize that we are one with God and that we don’t have to struggle alone any longer.

Am I still struggling alone?

May I turn my will and my life over to my Higher Power.

The struggles I will ask God for help with today are

God help me to stay clean and sober today!

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~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~

Happy for us if the grace of God enables us to live so that we retain innocency and freshness of character down to old age.

~ MARY ANN WENDELL ~

Newcomer

I’ve always been down on myself—that’s my problem. When I look at the Steps and see “searching and fearless moral inventory/’ “the exact nature of our wrongs,” and “defects of character,” the language seems so judgmental. It depresses me to think of myself in such negative terms.

Sponsor

Like you, I found certain phrases in the Steps off-putting at first. I changed them in my mind: for “wrongs,” I substituted “things I would like to have done differently”; for “defects,” I substituted “old habits and ways of reacting that I’d like to be free of.” I needed the gentlest possible approach; I’d been beating myself up for as long as I could remember.

The Steps aren’t asking us to blame or to punish ourselves. Many of us accept the idea that we inherited a predisposition for our addictions and that things that happened in our lives provided opportunities for addiction to take hold. Fortunately, recovery offers us the opportunity to see ourselves with clarity and compassion, to free ourselves to become the people we’ve always wanted to be. We can work the Twelve Steps with infinite gentleness and caring, for ourselves and for the truth.

Today, my compassion for myself opens me to the gentleness of the program.

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~ THE EYE OPENER ~

Loneliness drives more people to the Gin Mill than almost any other single factor – perhaps even the compulsion to drink.

In the old days when our society was objectionable to all our old friends, we would from sheer boredom go to the bar just to talk to someone. Anyone’s conversation was preferable to our thoughts. The drink was frequently only incidental.

Boredom is still one of our worst enemies. If you have an AA club, there is always some guy you can try to help. Regardless of your effect on him, the experience is bound to help you and will relieve you of your blues.

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~ WALK SOFTLY AND CARRY A BIG BOOK ~ (Official & Unofficial Sloganeering From the 12 Step Programs) ~

1) HOPE: Helping Open People’s Eyes

2) An action beats a feeling.

3) Doing one thing different, can make the difference.

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~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~

High Flight

Oh I have slipped the surly bonds of earth
And danced the skies on laughter-silvered wings,
Sunward I’ve climbed and joined the tumbling mirth
Of sun-split clouds—and done a hundred things
You have not dreamed of—wheeled and soared and swung
High in the sunlit silence. Hov’ring there
I’ve chased the shouting wind along and flung
My eager craft through footless halls of air.
Up, up the long, delirious, burning blue
I’ve topped the windswept heights with easy grace
Where never lark nor even eagle flew.
And, while with silent, lifting mind I’ve trod
The high untrespassed sanctity of space,
Put out my hand, and touched the face of God.

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~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~

SEEING CHRIST IN OTHERS

We often hear the expression “saluting the Christ in him,” or “seeing the Christ in him,” and we may well ask ourselves what that phrase really means. It is simply the practical application of the rule of Jesus Christ.

Judge not according to the appearance, but judge righteous judgement (John 7:24)

Each of us has a divine Self that is spiritual and perfect but that is never seen on this plane. That is the true man, God’s man, and is what we sometimes call “the Christ within.” Now whenever you dwell upon or realize the presence of the Christ within yourself or within anyone else, outer appearances begin at once to improve. If somebody displeases you, silently salute the Christ within him. If someone says against John Smith’s character, salute the Christ in him, refuse to discuss the manner, and of course do not repeat it.

The more often you salute the Christ in others, the sooner you will find Him in yourself.

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~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~

Don’t Think

A man needs a little madness, or else he never dares cut the rope and be free.

~ Zorba the Greek ~

Are you really going to jump from there?” I asked Frank as he stood poised on a rock at the top of the waterfall. “Sure, it’s fun—you’re going to join me, aren’t you?”

I looked over the edge of the precipice. “I don’t know.”

“You’ll love it!” Frank exclaimed, and took a flying swan dive into the pool below.

I stood atop the ridge looking down, adrenaline shooting through my system. “Can I do this?” I asked myself. An inner voice replied, “Don’t think about it—just do it.” I gazed for a few more seconds and felt as if a big hand was nudging me from behind. So without further delay, I leaped—and loved it.

Somewhere inside me I knew that if I jumped, I would enjoy it, and I also knew that if I thought about it, I would not do it. Sometimes we have to override our reasoning mind and just go with the energy at hand. As I climbed back up to the top of the ridge, I wondered how many times I have used my mind to talk me out of doing things that would make me happy.

I am not suggesting that you do anything foolish or do something that would be injurious to you. The place of knowingness inside you is always giving you good advice. When your head is in a quandary and your heart says yes, follow your heart. Use your mind to empower you, not limit you. The heart without the head is chaotic, and the head without the heart is a tyrant. Break free of the tyranny of overthinking, and become as a little child. That is how you get back into heaven.

Raise the volume of my inner voice of truth, that I may walk the way appointed by wisdom.

I have a passionate delight for doing what is right.

[bluidkiti]

April 18

Step by Step

Today, recommit as a trusting member of the program and its members who confide their Fourth Step and all other communications. We must treat as private all things any members share and cannot share or “gossip” with anyone whatever another member says even if there is no stated promise of confidentiality. Failure to treat as private all matters involving any member is a show of disrespect to both the other person and the program, and disqualifies us as an ethical 12th-Stepper. In recovery, we cannot expect that what we share will be a private communication if we do not convey the same respect of others. Today, sobriety carries the responsibility of loyalty, trust and respect of the program and its members – and they have it. And our common journey continues. Step by step. – Chris M.

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~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~

SECOND LIVES

We are here to add what we can to, not get what we can from, life.

~ Sir William Osler ~

Many of us used to moan, “I wish I were dead.” Our addictions and obsessions made us hate ourselves. Other people scorned and pitied us. We wanted to die. We hoped that a lie after death would give us rest from our constant battle with compulsions. But today we can find a better answer.

There is life before death. Those of us who once cried out, “nobody cares,” have found loving, caring friends who share our problems and help us find the answers. They guide us daily through wonderful adventures in living. We all receive great truths in recovery.

I have been given the chance to live two lives. The cruel one has gone. The second one is rich with blessings. Nothing must tempt me to return to the old.

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~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~

Thought is action in rehearsal

~ Sigmund Freud ~

We sometimes indulge ourselves in fantasies and images of things we would like to do, or in euphoric recall of what we did in the past. Thoughts are powerful forces, and the ways we use them will shape our development. An Olympic diver creates vivid images of the perfect dive in his mind as part of his training be-cause his thoughts help him perform at the crucial moment. Even in recovery, we are sometimes tempted to revisit former ecstatic moments from our using days, or to dream about a return to using but with better control the next time. We need to keep in mind that these thoughts serve as rehearsals for later action. They only weaken our recovery.

What kind of thoughts shall we cultivate in our minds? We can picture ourselves feeling relaxed and peaceful, having the craving lifted from us. We can picture ourselves maintaining a serene detachment while confronted with crisis. We can picture a situation with a loved one in which we say what we need to say and feel good about staying true to ourselves. This is the way to use our minds to rehearse for future action.

Today I will hold an image of myself feeling relaxed and safe, even in the midst of confusion around me.

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~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~

Our own gentleness is a powerful force in our lives. It is like the gentle flower that grows through granite.

~ Patricia Hoolihan ~

We are attracted to women and men who have cultivated a gentle spirit. Their softness nurtures all of us who come into their space. We are soothed and made whole by their caring spirit. Let’s allow our caring spirit to develop too.

The aggression we may have grown accustomed to in our families and neighborhoods need not claim us for all time. We have the power within us to chart a new course. We have examples of gentleness all around us; they are our guides and are here by divine appointment.

Whatever task we are destined to perform in this clean and sober life can best be accomplished if directed by a heart that cares. Being gentle promises each of us the same comfort it offers others. Each gentle act heals our heart and lovingly nurtures the future.

Being gentle today is much easier than being mean-spirited. My gentle side will nurture my inner child and remove my fears.

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~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~

I am searching for strength and meaning

It is hard to face my uncertain future. With my dual disorder, especially the mood disorder, I now see that much in my life must change in order to get better. Sometimes I feel I have little to hold on to.

But no matter what else changes, I will always have the Twelve Step program. It does not predict the course of my recovery, but it offers me bedrock to stand on, a path to follow, and the understanding and strength of fellow travelers. It offers me meaning.

I will attend at least two Twelve Step meetings each week as part of my dual recovery plan.

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~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~

I feel like I had a slip today, and I didn’t drink or use.

~ Beth T. ~

Aside from a “slip” to drinking or using, we may also have what we call a “behavior slip,” a return to an old pattern of unhealthy behavior toward ourselves or others. Behaviors such as lying to someone, losing our temper unnecessarily, or carelessly hurting another’s feelings are all too easy to fall into sometimes.

At least now, though, our minds are clear and we can realize it when it happens. We become aware of unhealthy behavior and, thanks to our recovery program, take action. We can make an immediate amend, and teach ourselves to avoid that behavior in the future.

These behavior slips are not the end of our recovery. They are signs that we are breaking away from old patterns, old ways of living. They are part of the process — painful when they happen, but resolvable. And they are happening less and less. We can forgive ourselves for these slips. When they happen, we can share the experience with our Higher Power, group or sponsor. They can help us heal the wound, make an amend, and let go again.

Today help me be aware of my behavior toward others and honestly make amends when I need to.

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~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~

If one is lucky, a solitary fantasy can totally transform one million realities.

~ Maya Angelou ~

Laura Hillenbrand tells about a time when she watched some laborers working on an electrical box. One of the men walked into her side yard, looked around, and then jumped onto a swing her father had hung from a tree. The man, she wrote, “swung peacefully with the biggest grin on his face. Then he jumped off and went back to work.” A well-ordered, predictable day-to-day existence can provide you with much-needed parameters for lessening the chaos you have felt in the past. But strict adherence to a well-ordered existence can leave little room for curiosity, wonder, play, and adventure, which can add lightness to your life.

When you were a child, daydreams provided release from boredom and predictability and gave you the opportunity to ponder “What if” questions. It did not matter where your daydreams took you or if they would come true. You still have the opportunity to daydream today— and even to make your daydreams come true. You can imagine riding a horse across a grassy field—and sign up for a riding lesson. You can imagine being a brave person— and then transfer that energy into your actions today.

Today I will let my daydreams come so I can see a world full of joy and possibilities.

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~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~

Worry often gives a small thing a big shadow.

~ Swedish proverb ~

Worry does absolutely nothing for our emotional, physical, or spiritual health. Worry makes us anxiety ridden people. Suddenly a small situation or a minor disagreement takes on the proportion of a giant, looming high above us and casting a long, dark shadow over our lives.

“How important is it?” is a good question to ask at times when we are worried. The second question to ask is, “What can I do about this worry right now?” lf we stay in the present, we’ll soon discover that much of our worry involves something in the past or something yet to happen. For as long as we focus on the object of our worry, we are not living in the here and now.

We have the power within us to make our worries gigantic. We also have the power to make our worries manageable. As we look back over today’s events, we don’t need to waste our present time worrying over things done or things left undone. Nor do we need to worry about things yet to come. We can choose instead to live for right now and leave our worries where they belong.

I will walk with my own shadow and not one cast by worry.

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~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~

Doing the little things

Commonplace acts of kindness are a way to God even more than the grand and glorious acts. It is the everyday observance of what we know to be right that will lead us to our Higher Power. We must live up to what we know will sustain us in our drug-free lives.

With smiles, friendly words, and patience during trying times, we will slowly climb the steps of growth. It is harder to do the little things every day than to shine forth in a crisis, and nothing that we do or don’t do goes unnoticed by our Higher Power.

Do I tend to the little things every day?

Higher Power, help me find satisfaction in doing the simple, common tasks.

Two little things I will tend to today are

God help me to stay clean and sober today!

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~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~

Would you take a stick and punish your hand because it lacked understanding?

~ RABBI SHMELKE OF NIKOLSBURG ~

Newcomer

What is a “moral inventory,” exactly?

Sponsor

There are many approaches to Step Four in program literature and in publications about recovery; at Step meetings you’ll hear people describe still other methods suggested by their sponsors. All these methods involve writing—one of the most powerful tools we have in recovery.

Taking our moral inventory helps us get to know ourselves better by looking honestly at our behavior and its impact on ourselves and others. One simple, effective approach, as suggested in AA’s Big Book, focuses on two key emotions: fear and resentment. We make as complete as possible a list of people and institutions we have feared and resented. We identify what it is in us that feels threatened by each individual on our list. The result is a portrait—not of others, but of ourselves and the feelings that have fueled our addictive lives.

Another approach is to list our assets and deficits, as we might do for a business. A balanced picture includes pluses as well as minuses, so for those of us who are experts at self-dislike, it’s important to note not only our past mistakes, but also the progress we’ve made. How are we evolving into more honest, caring, responsible people? What are we doing better? What are our positive qualities, and how do they contribute to a strong recovery?

Today, I think about writing a searching and fearless moral inventory of myself. In the spirit of honesty, I will record assets as well as deficits.

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~ THE EYE OPENER ~

It has always been a source of amusement to observe how belligerent people get in religious controversies and it is usually true that the less religion they practice the more they are prone to argue about it.

A convert is anyone who deserts some other form of religion and accepts yours or mine. Your convert may be my renegade.

Those who have the real spirit of the Golden Rule don’t have to fight over religion for they have it, they know they have it and they know no one can take it from them.

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~ WALK SOFTLY AND CARRY A BIG BOOK ~ (Official & Unofficial Sloganeering From the 12 Step Programs) ~

1) Heard it through the group-vine.

2) NA Nazis

3) Serenity is not the absence of disturbance, it is being okay with that disturbance.

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~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~

Search For Serenity

The search is yours and mine. Each finds his way with help, but yet alone.

Serenity is the goal. It comes to those who learn to wait and grow; for each can learn to understand himself and say, “I’ve found a joy in being me, and knowing you; a knowledge of the depths I can descend, a chance to climb the heights above my head.”

The way is no so easy all the time. Our feet will stumble often as we go. A friend may need to give some extra help, as we once gave to others when in the hour of fear.

This is no picnic path that we have found; but yet compared to other days and other times, it seems a better route.

We lost our way before, in fear, guilt, and resentments held too long. Self-pity had its way with us; we found the perfect alibi for all our faults.

We do not know what life may bring from day to day. Tomorrow is a task not yet begun, and we could fail to pass its test.

But this will ait, while in today we do the best we can. Today we try to grow. Today we live, we seek to know, to give, to share, with you.

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~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~

SALT AND LIGHT

Read Matthew 5:13 – 16

In the fifth chapter of Matthew are recorded some of the most powerful pronouncements of Jesus.

Ye are the salt of the earth . . . Ye are the light of the world (Matthew 5:13 – 14).

It is possible, and in fact, only too easy, to accept these vital principles as being true; to love the beauty in them; and yet not to put them consistently into practice in one’s own life’ but this is a perilous attitude, for in that case the salt has lost its savor, and is good for nothing but to be cast out and trodden underfoot.

If you make every effort to practice the teachings of Jesus in every department of your own daily life; if you seek systematically to destroy in yourself selfishness, pride, vanity, sensuality, self-righteousness, jealousy, self-pity, resentment, condemnation, and so forth—not feeding or nourishing them by giving in to them; if you extend the right thought loyally to ever person within your ken, then you are worthy to be called the salt of the earth.

If you truly live this life, then not only will you make your own demonstration, in the quickest possible time, but you will be, in a very positive sense, a healing and illumining influence on all around you. You will be a blessing to men and women in remote places and times, men and women of whom you have never heard, and who will never hear of you—a light of the world.

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~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~

Consciousness, Not Conditions

Consciously selected miracles can be misguided.

~ A Course in Miracles ~

One of the questions I am most frequently asked is, “How do I know if something I am praying for is in my best interests? What if I am imposing my will over God’s will? How can I tell if my request is being inspired by love or driven by my ego?”

A rule of thumb that I suggest is to assume that your inspirations are coming from right intuition, and act with authority. Once in a while you will find that you have made a mistake, but in the long run you will be way ahead of where you would be if you assume that your intuitions are guided by ego and do nothing.

The real answer to the question is to understand that what you are seeking is not really conditions, but consciousness. You may be praying for a new BMW, but what you really want is to know that you are an abundant being living in a wealthy universe. You may be seeking a soulmate, but behind your search is the quest to know that you are lovable and cherishable. You may want to have a number-one hit on the pop charts, but behind that desire is the wish to feel acknowledged and important. You can get the conditions, but if you do not have the consciousness, you will be ever seeking and striving for more conditions. If you have the consciousness, however, the conditions will usually manifest automatically, and even if they do not, you will be secure in your wholeness.

If you aren’t sure if what you are praying for is correct, complete your prayer with “this or better.” Tell God (remind yourself) that you are doing the best you can with what you know, and if there is something more wonderful available, you are willing to give up your current idea for the bigger picture.

Help me to know that my prayers are worthy. Show me that I am Your child, deserving of your kingdom.

God’s will for me is perfect happiness.

[bluidkiti]

April 19

Step by Step

Today, feel gratitude that we have been given the gift to feel other than a hangover, the loss of focus and concentration, the fear of what we said and did last night but can’t remember, fear of promises we cannot keep. All else, feel the good and bad, grateful for the good and remorse and regret for the bad. And if we feel the need to cry, cry with the good and the bad, but will hold onto the good and use it as a stepping stone to tomorrow and ask the higher power to take from us the bad because we cannot hold onto it any longer. If we feel angry, feel it – then let go and let God. If we feel a resentment, we must not allow it to infect our today and threaten tomorrow. Instead, be grateful that we now have the choice to ask God to take from us else that we should not hold onto. With all that we feel, the good will outweigh the bad and, because it does, we have no reason to drink, no reason to use. Live and do not wallow in today. And our common journey continues. Step by step. – Chris M.

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~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~

H.A.L.T.

H.A.L.T. = Don’t get too hungry, or too angry, or too lonely, or too tired.

~ Anonymous ~

The Fellowship has seen many men and women recover from very low and terrible bottoms. When the Steps are carefully worked, miracles can be expected. The lessons aren’t hard to understand. The signposts to a relapse are well marked. We can learn a lot from people who have fallen away from the Program.

Don’t get too hungry. When we are weak physically, it affects our spiritual life. When hungry, eat. We need to stay away from anger altogether. Anger is the breeder of resentments. We have been eaten alive by our grudges. Cool off. Loneliness makes us an easy mark for the many voices that tempt us away from the Program. When we feel loneliness coming on, we go to a meeting or use the phone. When we become tired, it is easy for us to remember the chemical pick-me-ups we relied on. When we’re tired, we need to rest.

Let me remember to eat the right foods, stay calm, use the Fellowship, and rest.

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~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~

When one door closes another door opens; hut we often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door that we do not see the ones which open for us.

~ Alexander Graham Bell ~

Change is a basic fact of life and with every change comes a loss. Even winning the lottery entails the loss of our life before the big win. During some periods of our life, we feel we are stuck and nothing changes, or we feel trapped in a situation we would love to change. Other times a change occurs that we would never choose, and we have to find a way to continue living with the new reality.

Coping with the closing and opening of doors is a fundamental spiritual matter. We are pilgrims on a Journey and much of what happens along our way is beyond our control. Today will bring some things that we did not expect and with the changes will be new possibilities that we did not expect. So we hold the spiritual attitude that while we cannot control what happens, we can choose how we will respond.

Today I pray for the spiritual vision to see the doors that open for me.

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~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~

I’m not very different from others. We all have dark days of fear and doubt, but it’s okay.

~ JoAnn Reed ~

The beauty of living a Twelve Step program is that we don’t have to dwell in the darkness ever again. We can be free of doubt over the smallest or gravest situations if we make the decision to turn our lives and will over to the care of a loving Higher Power. To receive this gift, all we need to do is ask for the help our Higher Power has promised.

We begin to feel grateful when we develop trust in the promises of this program. We knew fear and heartache all too well. Feeling, maybe for the first lime, real joy and freedom from incessant worry is no exhilarating, energizing, gratifying.

We are given only the knowledge and information we need for these twenty-four hours. But we can feel certain that the day will unfold according to the plan of our Higher Power. We have nothing to fear. This day will not be dark if we walk with our friends in this program and let God lead the way.

My day will be dark only if I shut out the light of my Higher Power. Through my faith and my friends I can know peace.

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~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~

I don’t want to hurt myself anymore

I used to have painful episodes in which I would end up physically hurting myself. External events and internal thoughts would generate extreme distress, even rage. The only relief I could think of (surprising as it seems to me now) was to hurt myself. Somehow at the time, it helped.

These days, I am learning other ways to release my pain, to channel my rage. For one, I’m talking about my feelings with helpful people. For another, I’m hitting tennis balls (instead of myself). Now when I feel that intensity rise, I am less afraid and less at risk. I have choices.

If I ever feel self-destructive, I will practice one of the techniques I’ve learned to relieve the pain and soothe myself.

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~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~

Shame is the core problem of our time.

~ John Bradshaw ~

Guilt can help us. Shame can destroy us. If we feel guilty for stealing, the guilt is speaking to us about our behavior — stealing. But if we feel ashamed of ourselves, the shame speaks to us about me, the whole person. The more shame we feel, the more we feel we don’t deserve quality relationships, jobs, or sobriety. And we’ll probably undermine them all, usually without knowing it. Then we feel even more ashamed, and repeat the cycle.

Recognizing shame when we feel it can help us halt its destructive course. Sharing our feelings with a sponsor or friend can help us feel better. Thinking about when we felt ashamed in the past will help us identify patterns that we repeat because of shame. Shame thrives on secrets. Now we learn to talk about our feelings openly, and we learn we’re worth loving.

Today I will know in my heart that I’m not a shameful person. I am worthy of recovery.

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~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~

He has not learned the lesson of life who does not every day surmount a fear.

~ Ralph Waldo Emerson ~

In his book Stairway to Success, Nido R. Qubein reports that a naval aviator once told him that many pilots die because they choose to stay with a disabled aircraft. He writes, “They preferred the familiarity of the cockpit to the unfamiliarity of the parachute, even though the cockpit was a deathtrap.”

Whenever you choose to remain with what is familiar, what you have previously tried, or what you already know does not work, you will continue to experience the same outcomes. After all, when you keep doing the things that have never worked with the expectation that things will turn out differently, you are setting yourself up for certain defeat.

Like the pilots, you may feel much safer staying in a familiar environment than by taking the leap and venturing out into the unfamiliar. But if you have not tried something before, how do you know it will fail? It is only when you leave what is familiar and try something you have never tried before that you have the greatest possibility for success. There will be times in your recovery when you simply must face your fears and take the leap.

Today I can feel fearful before I try something new, but I will try it anyway.

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~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~

Cast thy bread upon the waters: for thou shalt find it after many days

~ Ecclesiastes 11:1 ~

There are many conveniences in our lives today. Central heating, instamatic cameras, twenty-four-hour bank tellers, microwave ovens, and shop-by-mail catalogs are just a few of the creations that allow us more time to relax or do what we need to do.

But there are inconveniences, too, that require attention at awkward times. Inconveniences like bank machines that don’t work, or hair dryers that break, or airline flights that are delayed. Do we also see people as inconveniences? Perhaps our children need us at inopportune moments or fiamily get-togethers fall during stressful times. If we view such times as impositions, then no time will ever be convenient.

Yet the door we slam may well be the door that is slammed in our face when we are in need. Are we so important that we can’t devote a few minutes, a couple of hours, or an evening to someone who needs our attention, comfort, guidance, or companionship? The more we give, the more we shall receive.

Have I viewed people in my life as intruders? Can I learn to give a little to others?

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~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~

Using today’s tools

Are we becoming stuck in the “if onlys”? “If only I had more money.” “If only I were more attractive.” “If only my parents had listened to Dr. Spock.” The “if onlys” will get us nowhere. We would do better to think about what we have to work with today.

Do we remember that we are fortunate just to be alive? Are we grateful that, one day at a time, we are clean and sober? Do we keep in mind that we have at our disposal the Twelve Step program and all its tools? When we dwell in the “if onlys,” we get stuck in yesterday. But what we have to work with today are “today’s tools,” and if we use them well, we’ll have no need for the “if onlys.”

Am I using the tools I have today?

God, help me to recognize today’s tools and to become willing to use them.

The tools I will use today are

God help me to stay clean and sober today!

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~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~

You can look at the past—but don’t stare.

~ FRANCIS BRADY ~

Newcomer

From what I hear, many people don’t write a Fourth Step inventory until a year or two after entering recovery. Some wait three, even four years. I’ve heard the expression “A Step a year.” Should I wait?

Sponsor

In the early days of AA, newcomers were guided through the Steps within a few days or weeks of getting sober. Many people were helped to a new, sober life that way. Over time, n more gradual approach has proved just as effective for newcomers in AA and other Twelve Step programs.

Today, those who are committed to staying in recovery have a great deal of fellowship support available. We have a proliferation of programs, many models of long-term experience in recovery, and large numbers of meetings to choose from. With all this support, some may choose to postpone Steps Four through Twelve, yet still manage to stay sober— though “a Step a year,” if taken literally, could be a prescription for endlessly postponing the joy of recovery. Honest self-examination is a necessary part of the process that leads to the waking up of our spirits. Why delay it?

For us, gentleness is essential in doing the Fourth Step. Our purpose is not self-punishment or humiliation. It’s letting go of the guilt and shame that led us to numb ourselves with addictive substances and behaviors. We can begin by keeping a Fourth Step file or index cards on which we list fears and resentments one or two at a time, as we remember them. Or we can use a gentle Step Four workbook. Because we trust that a Higher Power is part of our process, we don’t have to put off Step Four or hurry through it.

Today, I look at my past with honesty and compassion.

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~ THE EYE OPENER ~

All things in life are relative. Without night there would be no day; without evil there would be no good; without sorrow there would be no joy.

Drunk or sober, clouds will occasionally appear on the horizon but most of them will blow away. Storm will sometimes break upon us but if we are prepared we can ride it out and the rainbow will follow giving promise of better things ahead.

Yesterday’s rain enhances our pleasure in today’s sunshine.

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~ WALK SOFTLY AND CARRY A BIG BOOK ~ (Official & Unofficial Sloganeering From the 12 Step Programs) ~

1) Not asking for support is a sign of weakness.

2) HOW: Hang Onto Winners

3) Being an alcoholic does not give you the excuse to act alcoholically.

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~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~

Yesterday, Today, Tomorrow

There are two days I every week about which we should not worry, two days which should be kept free from fear and apprehension.

One of these days is YESTERDAY with its mistakes and cares, its faults and blunders, its aches and pains. YESTERDAY has passed forever beyond our control.

All of the money in the world cannot bring back YESTERDAY. We cannot undo a single act we performed; we cannot erase a single word we said. YESTERDAY is gone.

The other day we should not worry about is TOMORROW with its possible adversaries, its burdens, its large and poor performance. TOMORROW is also beyond our immediate control.

TOMORROW’s sun will rise, either in splendor or behind a mask of clouds—but it will rise. Until it does, we have no stake in TOMORROW, for it is as yet unborn.

This leaves only one day . . . TODAY. Any person can fight the battle of just one day It is only when you and I add the YESTERDAY and TOMORROW that we break down.

It is not the experience of TODAY that drives people mad—it is remorse or bitterness for something which happened YESTERDAY and the dread of what TOMORROW may bring.

LET US, THEREFORE, LIVE BUT ONE DAY AT A TIME!

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~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~

Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father which is in heaven (Matthew 5:16)

The state of your soul is always expressed in your outer conditions and in the intangible influence that you radiate at large. There is a cosmic law that nothing can permanently deny its own nature. Emerson said: “What you are shouts so loudly that I cannot hear what you say.” The soul that is built upon prayer cannot be hidden, it shines out brightly through the life that it lives. It speaks for itself, but in utter silence, and does much of its best work unconsciously. Its mere presence heals and blesses all around it.

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~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~

Guilt and Responsibility

Love and guilt cannot co-exist, and to accept one is to deny the other.

~ A Course in Miracles ~

While addressing a support group for cancer patients, I explained that we shape our lives by the thoughts and attitudes we hold. Illness is the universe’s way of getting our attention so we can realign our life with the perfect pattern we deserve. Because our thoughts and energies have a role in manifesting disease, we can facilitate healing by shifting our vision toward wholeness.

After the lecture, the sponsor angrily told me, “I didn’t like you making my people feel guilty for their cancers; they feel guilty enough as it is!” I was stunned. I had not said anything about guilt. To the contrary, my intention was to empower the patients to know that they were worthy of being healed and to open up to the possibility that they could take an active role in their healing.

The ego, which thrives on guilt, does not understand responsibility, for the separated mind cannot conceive of being at cause. Its very existence is built on the illusion of being an effect. The notion of creatorship threatens the ego’s platform of victimhood. Someone who feels guilty will fight the notion of responsibility, as the ego cannot see beyond the blame game. In the game of creative living, however, each of us has the power to manifest the world we choose, regardless of the worlds that others are choosing for themselves or would choose for us.

Guilt is debilitating, while responsibility is liberating. Guilt focuses on what you did in the past, while responsibility looks at how the choices you make now will affect your future. Guilt is shrouded with blame; responsibility empowers us toward greater possibilities. Guilt is emotional and implies sin; responsibility is reasonable and points toward laws of success. Guilt calls for punishment; responsibility calls only for correction.

We are all responsible. Let us reclaim our power to be healthy and live the lives we choose.

Help me release guilt forever and walk in the power with which You created me.

The power of life is in my hands. I choose to love and be whole.

[bluidkiti]

April 20

Step by Step

Today, small steps instead of an “easier, softer way” – giant leaps toward the goal of recovery. Alcoholism and its companion physical, emotional and spiritual diseases developed over time, and their solution is likely to take as much if not more time. But impatience is a characteristic of most alcoholics, and it cannot be allowed to tempt us to take the short route through the steps toward sobriety. Failing to give full and complete attention to each step may set us up for frustration and disappointment – and together they put us at risk for a slip or relapse. Today, wisdom of patience in taking the steps one by one and understanding that it is through working them that we earn what we pursue. And our common journey continues. Step by step. – Chris M.

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~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~

SINCERITY

The more we love our friends, the less we flatter them; it is by excusing nothing that pure love shows itself.

~ Moliere ~

The concern we display for those new to our Program must always be sincere and honest. When beginners ask for advice, our answer mustn’t be phony, but we also need to soften the blow by “truth with love.” We can do this by promising them that life will get better if they really want spiritual growth and if they are freely willing to change their attitudes.

If we “con” anyone with false promises because we don’t want to hurt their feelings, they will become our enemy when they find out the truth. This will surely happen when their recovery becomes secure.

If someone in the Fellowship makes me angry by telling a truth that brings me progress, let me be sincere enough to tell them I am grateful.

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~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~

My dear child, you must believe in God in spite of what the clergy tell you.

~ Benjamin Jowett ~

We come to the Twelve Step program of recovery from many different backgrounds. Some of us already have a very solid spiritual base to call upon. Some of us have a blank, undeveloped sense of spirituality and an open mind. Some of us had negative or even abusive experiences with organized religion, so we turned away from all ideas of spirituality. Now we are following a path that asks us to turn our lives and will over to God, and our past experience may tell us to say no to such a proposition.

Still, we want to recover, and our previous methods didn’t work, so now we are willing to have an open mind about “the God thing.” Maybe we can learn something we never understood before. The concept of God was controversial even among the men who first developed this path. They all knew that spiritual reliance was crucial to recovery, but they didn’t all believe in God in the same way. So they landed on the phrase, “God as we understood Him.” Wisely, they made the program’s spirituality a very big tent, and there is room for every individual’s beliefs.

Today I am grateful for the spirituality that this program has nurtured within me.

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~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~

Now that I don’t have to drink anymore, I’m glad I’m an alcoholic.

~ Anne A. ~

Remember how we felt when we first heard someone say at a meeting that she was grateful to be an alcoholic or drug addict? We were astonished. We weren’t grateful! How much our attitudes have changed. Now we, too, acknowledge the grace that has accompanied our addiction to chemicals. And most days we are grateful.

We couldn’t have imagined the lives we are now leading. Without a doubt we craved more joy and security, fewer conflicts, a sense of belonging. But we never imagined that giving up mood-altering chemicals was the solution. We thought they gave us the only happiness we deserved.

Now we are experiencing real happiness because of our sobriety. We are willing to let a Higher Power help us, and we are sincere in our efforts to change negative behaviors and attitudes. Everything we need is now ours.

Happiness is mine today. It’s as close as the expression of my gratitude.

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~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~

I want to have faith

At my Step meeting, I hear the word faith. I hear that it’s important to my recovery. It’s a small word, but I don’t think I understand it. And I don’t think I have much of it.

And yet, as a child, I remember my uncle would hold my hands and wrists tight and swing me around and around and around. It scared me, but I loved it. I giggled. I got dizzy. I squealed in delight. Then, smiling, he would slow the spinning and slowly let me down. I trusted him and he never dropped me. Is that what faith is about?

I will ask two of my friends at group to talk with me about who they trust and what they believe in.

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~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~

In a consumer society, there are inevitably two kinds of slaves: the prisoners of addiction and the prisoners of envy.

~ Ivan Illich ~

Envy comes from a belief that others have more, or are worth more, than us. Coming to believe we are lovable lets us trust the healing of our addictions. This process challenges us to take off our masks and get to know our real selves. When we finally have the courage to confront our internal secrets, obsessions, and fears, we are set free. The deep, empty hole in us that cried out for soothing begins to heal, and we feel settled.

The task of accepting our human weaknesses and limitations and loving ourselves in spite of our imperfections is a difficult one, but is the path of spiritual growth.

Being willing to nourish the healthy seed inside us is one of the first steps that is necessary for the door of recovery to swing open. As we let go of our pain, self-doubt begins to diminish and our real selves begin to flourish.

Today let me trust that there is something lovable and healthy inside me that is waiting to flourish.

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~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~

Peace is when time doesn’t matter as it passes by.

~ Maria Schell ~

Prayer and meditation are used together so often that you may think they are essentially the same thing. But prayer is more of a direct outreach and communication with a divine being, while meditation encourages you to “go within” to create stillness and serenity.

There is no right or wrong way to meditate. Those who exercise—especially long distance runners—often think of their workout as a form of meditation. Others make a ritual out of their meditation by setting aside the same time each day, listening to soothing music, or chanting. Some use deep breathing techniques or yoga poses. Others listen to guided meditation tapes or meditate regularly with others.

But no matter what form your meditation takes, the purpose is to allow time for relaxation and for letting go so you can let your thoughts and emotions run free. You feel and observe what is within you and, in so doing, learn more about your innermost thoughts and feelings. When you do, you can better understand your fears, doubts, insecurities, regrets, and resentments. With this understanding, you can use the tools of the program to decrease the hold these emotions have upon you.

Meditation gives me the chance to learn more about myself. Today I will still my mind to open my mind.

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~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~

I know that I am here in a world where nothing is permanent but change. . . . I can change the form of things and influence a few people and that I am influenced by these and other people.

~ Elbert Hubbard ~

We are related to every person we see in a day, from the bus driver to the family member, from the store clerk to the boss, from strangers on the sidewalk to our dear friends. We are constantly changing, in constant motion with the people, places, and things around us. We are connected like links in a chain. Each link supports and gets support from those around it.

This connectedness is especially evident at meetings when we hear others tell our stories or relate to our feelings. Yet this same connectedness can be felt outside of a meeting with both program and nonprogram people. If there are addicted people in our lives, we can feel a connection with them because o[ their disease. We can understand them better and see ourselves more clearly through their defects. We are part of a strong chain made even stronger because of our differences.

There are those who know how we feel and can relate to us. I can learn to feel a part of everything.

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~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~

Being willing

People often ask, “How does the program work?” The HOW of this program is Honesty, Open-mindedness, and Willingness. Often we must pray for willingness; sometimes we even have to pray to be willing to be willing!

We have very stubborn wills. If surrendered daily, however, they can accomplish much good for ourselves and others. Surely those who say “I will, I will” and don’t are not as close to the heart of God as those who say “I will not,” but do!

Am I really willing?

God, help me realize that to do your will for me today, in however small a way, I must let go of my own will.

I will practice willingness today by

God help me to stay clean and sober today!

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~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~

If you do not tell the truth about yourself you cannot tell it about other people.

~ VIRGINIA WOOLF ~

Newcomer

Why should I have to take the blame for everything? What about the things other people have done to me?

Sponsor

Taking Step Four isn’t about blaming ourselves or others. It can help us with our anger at those we believe have harmed us. When we write a Fourth Step, we name all the people and institutions we fear and resent. By putting into writing the wrongs we believe each of them has committed, we see the array of fears and resentments that burden our minds and disturb our serenity.

It’s human nature to fear or resent people we haven’t treated well. If I neglect someone—he to her, cheat her, or take something away from her that I know deep down is rightfully hers—I don’t very much want to see or think about her. I tell myself, “It’s all her fault.” Guilt feels unpleasant; I may turn to my addiction to keep it at bay. Step Four asks me to take an honest look at the ways I myself contributed to or even caused the situation I’m so upset about.

But there may also be certain things we didn’t cause. What if we’re convinced that we’re right? Instead of plotting revenge, we can understand that there are others who are mentally or spiritually ill. We can acknowledge what they have done, without having to cling to resentment. We can ask in our prayers that they be healed.

Today, I let faith replace my fears and resentments.

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~ THE EYE OPENER ~

Your Area Headquarters can probably use some additional help on the desk or perhaps a receptionist to interview new people calling at the club for help. They probably have a pressing need for Twelve Steppers or people who have a car and are available a day a week. Maybe they could use some speakers or even chair setter-uppers.

How about your Group? It takes people to distribute and collect ash trays. It’s possible you might come in handy preparing or distributing refreshments.

Whatever your talents are it is a safe bet they can use you. Then the Group will become Your Group. Don’t wait to be drafted – Volunteer.

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~ WALK SOFTLY AND CARRY A BIG BOOK ~ (Official & Unofficial Sloganeering From the 12 Step Programs) ~

1) Here is a thought that kills a lot of chemical dependents: That may be true for you, but I’m different.

2) If you are looking for the perfect group before you join a home group, you are going to be homeless.

3) NA: We are not reformed junkies-but informed addicts.

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~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~

Just For Today

Just for today I will try to live through this day only, and not tackle my whole life problem at once. I can do something for twelve hours that would appal me if I felt that I had to keep it up for a lifetime.

Just for today I will be happy. This assumes to be true what Abraham Lincoln sait, that “Most folks are as happy as they make their minds to be.”

Just for today I will try to strengthen my mind. I will study; I will learn something useful; I will not be a mental loafer; I will read something that requires effort, thought, and concentration.

Just for today I will exercise my soul in three ways: I will do somebody a good turn, and not get found out; if anybody knows of it, it will not count. I will do at least two things I don’t want to do—just for exercise. I will not show anyone that my feelings are hurt; they may be hurt, but today I will not show it.

Just for today I will be agreeable. I will look as good as I can, dress becomingly, talk low, act courteously, criticize not one bit, not find fault with anything, and not try to improve or regulate anybody except myself.

Just for today I will have a program. I may not follow it exactly, but I will have it. I will save myself from two pests: hurry and indecision.

Just for today I will have a quiet half hour all by myself, and relax. During this half hour, sometime, I will try to get a better perspective on my life.

Just for today I will be unafraid. I will enjoy that which is beautiful, and will believe that as I give to the world, so the world will give to me.

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~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~

CITY OF LIGHT

And I, if I be lifted up from the earth, will draw all men unto me (John 12:32)

Never try to force other people to accept spiritual truth. Instead, see to it that they are so favourably impressed by your own life and conduct, and by the peace and joy that radiate from you, that they will come running to you of their own accord, begging you to give them the wonderful thing that you have. To do this is to make your soul truly the city upon a hill that cannot be hidden because it is the City of God. This is to let your light shine to the glorifying of your Father which is in Heaven.

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~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~

Don’t Hiss It

What is essential is invisible to the eye; only with the heart can one see rightly.

~ from The Little Prince, by Saint-Exupery ~

As he stood before a firing squad, French dissident le Bodoyere gently touched his hand to his heart and advised the soldiers, “This is what you must not miss.”

We would do well to remember le Bodoyere’s advice throughout our entire lives. We may have all manner of material success, but unless our heart is fulfilled, we have nothing.

When someone died in ancient Egypt, the priests removed the bodily organs they considered unimportant and saved the organs they believed sacred. The Egyptians discarded the brains but kept the heart. They believed that the seat of true wisdom was not the mind, but the heart.

The power of the heart goes far beyond feeling and emotions; in the heart lies great wisdom and peace. In our culture, we tend to try to think things through. Certainly the rational process is important, but it must be tempered with intuitive understanding. In my seminars, I tell audiences, “Please point to yourself.” Nearly every person in the room points to their heart. Although they had a choice of many body parts, 99 percent of those asked sensed that they live in their heart. On some level, we remember that our heart contains the essence of who we are.

Practice consulting your heart before speaking or acting. If you are not sure what to say or do, take a moment, draw a few deep breaths, and feel what is happening in your chest. There you will find the most valuable guide to right action. If you find yourself upset or unhappy, ask your heart, “What would you have me know?” Employ all the worldly wisdom available, but when you want to know the most important truth, return to your heart. “This is what you must not miss.”

I pray to know the wisdom of my heart and act upon its sacred knowledge.

My heart guides me to right action.

[bluidkiti]

April 21

Step by Step

Today, I am okay! I will not let the clutter of my alcoholic past, its regrets and uncertainty about my future clutter my mind with preoccupation and neglect of today. If I cannot simply be and feel okay today, I have a weak foundation for any tomorrows. But I will not let worry about tomorrow impair me today. If today I do not drink, then I am more alive than I ever was when I was drinking. If I can make and keep today okay, then I am making some progress. Hopefully today’s progress will stretch into another 24 Hours and being okay will turn into something better. Today, I am okay. And our common journey continues. Step by step. – Chris M.

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~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~

EARNING REWARDS

I got a religion that wants to take heaven out of the clouds and plant it right here on earth where most of us can get a slice of it.

~ Irwin Shaw ~

We learn that there are no free trips to abstinence. There aren’t any “rain checks” we can take that will give us a head start back to abstinence if we slip. We can’t argue that bad luck or betrayal by others were responsible for the relapse.

We won’t ever be promised that we will have overnight comfort or success. Our success in the Program is decided by how hard we work it. We will get from the Steps only as much as we give it. Our investment in serenity and security will earn simple, real interest. There aren’t any easy contests to win.

The rewards I receive from the Program will be equal to the effort I put into my recovery.

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~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~

Love at first sight is easy to understand. It’s when two people have been looking at each other for years that it becomes a miracle.

~ Sam Levenson ~

True intimacy introduces us to ourselves. A loving relationship is the greatest therapy. When we first fall in love, we are filled with optimism and the greatest hopes for fulfillment of our dreams. We cling to all the best qualities of the person we fall in love with and we look past those things we don’t like. But living in an intimate partnership takes us beyond the edge of what we have learned. It is truly an adult developmental challenge.

Most of us fall in love and soon find ourselves in over our heads. We haven’t had experience as adults in sustaining the openness and vulnerability we have walked into. We may gradually begin to feel too vulnerable and exposed. The relationship tests our ability to trust someone who has this much access to our inner self. We are tempted to become cranky, edgy, or overly sensitive. We may test our partner’s love by asking, if you love me, will you do such and such? We begin to try to control our partner so we don’t feel so vulnerable. All these temptations are holdover behaviors from our less mature selves. So we must reach for our more mature selves, breathe deeply, and trust that we can survive while being so close and vulnerable.

Today I will turn to my Higher Power for guidance in going forward in trust while being vulnerable.

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~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~

We grow in darkness and in light.

~ Marilyn Mason ~

Every experience is a learning opportunity. The abuse we suffered, whether physical or emotional, taught us survival and resilience. Even though we felt defeated, we are here now, and we’ve learned to recognize relationships that aren’t good for us. That’s evidence of growth.

Sponsors tell us we are always growing. Even when it feels like we are going backward, we are growing. Recognizing our slower pace signals our awareness, and that is growth too.

Gone are the days when we doubted our ability to grow, to change. One of the first lessons we learn In recovery is that change is possible. Every meeting surrounds us with examples. And much of the growth has come through the dark periods of our lives. The darkness and the light have much to teach us. Every moment is to be revered for its message.

I am ready to grow today. Regardless of the kind of experience I’m having, I’ll realize its worth to me.

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~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~

I want to relax more with people

In treatment it was painful to sit in a circle at group at first. Everybody could see me. I couldn’t hide or get away. Sometimes I even had to talk. I was afraid people wouldn’t like me or understand me (and then would look at me funny).

But after being with the group for several sessions, I was able to glance up at my fellow members when I was talking. Guess what? Nobody was looking at me funny at all. I think most were looking within themselves. After that, group got easier for me. Being able to talk in group has helped a lot.

Today I’ll practice looking at the person I am talking to (knowing I can look away at any time and feel safer).

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~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~

More things are wrought by prayer than this world dreams of.

~ Alfred, Lord Tennyson ~

When we talk with our Higher Power, we admit to ourselves that we need help from a Power greater than ourselves. When we remind ourselves every moment of the day that we cannot live without our Higher Power sustaining us, we will seek an even closer relationship with God in order to grow and maintain our sobriety.

When we meditate on the word “power” we bring a new strength, new energy, and new dedication to our lives. We can draw on this power any time we choose. And we can use our new power through prayer.

When we pray, seeking God’s guidance every day, we learn to trust and depend on our Higher Power to help us through each day’s challenges. We are no longer alone.

Today let me surrender my life to my Higher Power and be grateful for his presence in my life.

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~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~

The present is the point of power.

~ Kate Green ~

Think of a recovery challenge you know you need to work on. If you look back to the past, you may consider that what you are currently facing is the same thing you have faced before and were unable to handle it. So you may use that as an excuse to avoid taking action now. If you look ahead to the future, you may consider putting off what you need to do today. Both approaches end up with the same result: you will not be able to handle what you are facing in the present. Do this for all the things on which you need to work, and you end up with an enormous accumulation of things you must eventually handle.

Living in the present moment means looking at what needs to be done in the present and taking care of those things. Taking action when action is needed provides you with more time, because as you take care of what you need to do today, you will have more time to handle the tasks of tomorrow. What have you been putting off in your recovery?

I will not let the things I need to do pile up. Today I will take care of something that needs my time and attention.

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~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~

Prayer is one of life’s most puzzling mysteries. I have sometimes feared it is presumptuous to take up God’s time with my problems.

~ Celestine Sibley ~

For too long, we may have believed there was no God. Or we may have believed there was an omniscient being who was highly judgmental, ready to bless us when we did good things but ready to curse us when we made mistakes. Our sense of spirituality may have been buried deep beneath layers of fear or lack of trust.

The program teaches us there is a Higher Power who’s there to listen to our prayers and meditations. But how do we learn to pray? What do we ask for? What do we say? Do we get down on our knees, bow our heads, or lift our faces to the heavens?

We need to remember that our Higher Power hears us, no matter how we choose to pray. Whether we spend several minutes talking aloud about our day or a few moments sitting still and clearing our minds of all thoughts, our Higher Power cares for us. What’s important is making the effort to pray.

Higher Power, help me to remember there is no mystery to prayer.

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~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~

Reflecting kindness and love

We alcoholics and addicts can be sensitive to the remarks of loved ones and friends—at times they seem unkind to us. Yet if we ex-amine ourselves, we may see that we are the ones who are out of tune. Perhaps we have turned away from our Higher Power and stopped working our program.

It is important to realize that what we see in others often reflects what is within our-selves. If I am afraid, I will see fear in others. If I feel anxious, I will see anxiety in others. When we come to understand that turning back to our Higher Power and our program means getting back in tune, then we’ll be much less sensitive and our reflection will be soft and loving.

What does my reflection look like?

Lord, help me to take personal inventory and stay close to the program.

Today I will reflect kindness and love by

God help me to stay clean and sober today!

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~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~

I climbed the ladder of success wrong by wrong.

~ PATRICIA BROOKS ~

Newcomer

I’d like to go back to the old days, just for a little while. It’s so hard being sober every day, and in every situation. There were many things that using made easier.

Sponsor

Sometimes we look back on our days of active addiction with fondness. We miss the experiences that became available to us when we acted out. Depending on our history and drug of choice, we may remember times when we moved easily in social situations, talked or danced with greater ease, even entered relationships without a lot of fuss and agony. Or maybe we had a greater sense of power in work situations: we remember a time when we worked around the clock without feeling tired, triumphantly meeting a deadline. We may simply miss the drug itself, its familiar physical sensations or psychological effects.

It’s better to acknowledge this sense of loss than to ignore it. If we’re willing to go back, imaginatively, to what we think of as our days of freedom, then we can also remember what followed. Feelings of pleasure, expansiveness, or power eventually led to the very states we were attempting to anesthetize: exhaustion, dependency, self-dislike.

Today, I see the history of my addiction with clarity.

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~ THE EYE OPENER ~

The churches in their quarrels over purely sectarian issues have done much to divert attention from the primary purpose of religion, which is spirituality.

Some pastors take a more critical attitude toward the neglect of church duties than they do toward moral transgressions.

AA should be kept free of all controversial questions. We have but one purpose and that is to help the suffering alcoholic. Ours is a way of life; not a way of worship.

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~ WALK SOFTLY AND CARRY A BIG BOOK ~ (Official & Unofficial Sloganeering From the 12 Step Programs) ~

1) SERENITY NOW

2) Not being able to ask for help is a real sign of weakness.

3) HOW: Honest Open Willing

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~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~

Footprints

One night a man had a dream. He dreamed he was walking along a beach with the Lord. Across the sky flashed scenes from his life. For each scene, he noticed two sets of footprints in the sand, one belonging to him, and the other to the Lord.

When the last scene of his life flashed before him, he looked back at the footprints in the sand. He noticed that many times along the path of his life there was only one set of footprints. He also noticed that it happened at the very lowest and saddest times in his life.

This really bothered him and he questioned the Lord about it. “Lord, You said that once I decided to follow You, You’d walk with me all the way. But I have noticed that during the most troublesome times in my life, there is only one set of footprints. I don’t understand why when I needed You most, You would leave me.”

The Lord replied, “My precious, precious child, I love you and I would never leave you. During your times of trial and suffering, when you see only one set of footprints, it was then that I carried you.”

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~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~

EXCEEDING RIGHTEOUSNESS

Read Matthew 5:17-20

If anyone were so insane as to suppose that the knowledge of the Truth of Being could put him “above” the moral law, in the sense of authorizing him to break it, he would speedily discover that he had made a tragic mistake. The more spiritual knowledge that one possesses, the more severe is the punishment which one brings upon oneself by any infraction of the moral law. The Christian has to be very much more careful than other people. Indeed, all real spiritual understanding must necessarily be accompanied by definite moral improvement. A theoretical acceptance of the letter of Truth might go with moral carelessness (greatly to the peril of the delinquent), but it is impossible to make any real spiritual progress unless you are trying your very best to live the life. It is impossible to divorce true spiritual knowledge from right conduct.

For I say unto you, That except your righteousness shall exceed the righteousness of the scribes and Pharisees, ye shall in no case enter into the kingdom of heaven (Matthew 5:20)

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~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~

Beyond Duty

There are three impediments to enlightenment: Lust, fear, and duty.

~ Buddha ~

Jesus told the parable of a wealthy man who went through a town inviting the important people to a great feast. “Sorry, I have to work,” said one man.

“I’m on my way to bury a relative,” answered another. Everyone he asked could not come because they had something to do first. Finally, the man invited all the poor people in town, and they accepted because they had nothing else more pressing. Jesus likened the banquet to the kingdom of heaven, which we miss if we are caught up in worldly activities. Time and again Jesus affirmed that the kingdom of heaven is at hand, and we may enter it if we are open to receiving it.

The kingdom of heaven is just as available today as it was when Jesus pointed toward it. Since that time, we have invented even more duties that we believe we must perform before we can have peace. Begin to examine your sense of duty, and ask yourself where it comes from. Do you respond to the needs and wishes of others because you will feel guilty if you do not? Do you believe that you must play out the roles others tell you that you should fulfill to be a good daughter, son, wife, husband, employer, student, or disciple? Do you postpone joy because you believe you must first strive, suffer, or pay off karma?

Activities are valuable only if they bring us closer to peace. Relationships are healthy only as much as they reflect real love. Careers are important only for the aliveness they bring us and the service they render to others. To follow any creed that does not proceed from your heart is hypocrisy and psychic self-abuse. Begin to sincerely question your motives for social activities, and let go of anything that does not reflect a truth you believe from the inside out. Your life is too important to live for others. Come to the banquet now.

Bless me with the strength to live my spiritual truth and ideals.

I walk the path I believe in and let all else go.

[bluidkiti]

April 22

Step by Step

Today, stop running from regret, shame, guilt, loss and all other anguish that my drinking days evoked. I must come to terms and reconciliation with all of it. By taking each step with absolute honesty and the will of my higher power, I will look instead to the lessons to be learned from my actions that eventually pooled together to create the pain I may still carry. Regret and shame might be eased by the single strongest amend I can make: by not drinking today. I can release guilt by learning from the mistakes that bred it, and the sense of loss might be less if I can be grateful that I even had what I lost and accept that I might not have been ready to be responsible for what I had – and lost. Today, I work on weakening any pain not by confronting it but finding the comfort in it. But, in the end, if I deny or do not allow myself to feel and deal with the hurt, the good might not feel as good as it might otherwise. And our common journey continues. Step by step. – Chris M.

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~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~

AVOIDING GOSSIP

Tale-bearers are as bad as the tale-makers.

~ Richard Sheridan ~

What we talk about, not whom we talk about, is one way we place principle above personalities and practice our 12th Tradition. At meetings and over coffee, it’s tempting to pass along things we hear about other people who share our recovery.

Before we gossip or find fault with others, wise members teach us to ask ourselves three questions: “Is it true?” “Is it kind?” and “is telling it important to help someone’s recovery?” If we can say “yes” to each question, we mustn’t repeat it. If a single word from us hurts someone else, our guilt could throw us back into addiction. Our gossip could cause someone else to lose faith in the Program, and throw them back into addiction.

I will not gossip. Let me talk about principles, not personalities.

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~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~

I go to nature to be soothed and healed, and to have my senses put in order.

~ John Burroughs ~

In the Twelve Steps we see the term God several times. But from the program’s beginning, there have been atheists and agnostics using and valuing the Steps as their guide for life. Many men do not relate to a personal God. They do, however, experience the meaning and spirit of their group and the restoring powers of nature. That is why the founders of Alcoholics Anonymous included the phrase “God as we understood Him.”

Whether a personal God is real to us or not, nature is there for us as a healing and refreshing source. We don’t have to go on a major trip to the mountains or fishing in the wilderness to find this source. We find it in the sky, the clouds, and the magical moon; we find it in the intricate structure of a leaf, a massive tree in the park, or a wild bird visiting a feeder. There is no more clear evidence of the generous gifts that come unbidden than in nature. And we can rest in the Power greater than ourselves shown in creation and the forces of nature.

Today I will be soothed and healed by nature all around.

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~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~

In celebrating the good in me that was always there, I will continue to flourish.

~ Jill Clark ~

Dreading a Fourth Step is not unusual. We expect to confront nothing but numerous defects. However, we will also discover our assets. Our sponsors suggest that we need to acknowledge the good in ourselves to enhance it. Doing a Fourth Step inventory as part of our recovery will keep our assets fresh in mind.

If we put our mind to it, it’s not difficult to choose one asset each day and focus on it during our encounters with other people. Practice is how we get good at anything. It’s certainly no different when we focus on human behavior.

Maybe it seems phony to work at enhancing the good in ourselves. But let’s accept the wisdom of our sponsors. Their lives have improved. If practice has worked for them, it can work for us too.

Improving a small part of me at a time isn’t too much work. Cultivating my assets in this way promises that today will be good.

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~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~

I am grateful for the telephone

I don’t know where my recovery would be without the phone. In just a few seconds I can get support from a sponsor, friend, or counsellor. I don’t have to feel isolated when I am near a phone. It is comforting and reassuring, especially when I’m having symptoms.

Although it’s not a face-to-face meeting (or a fellowship meeting), it is a powerful substitute that allows me to have a heart-to-heart talk with a caring person. It works well for me (especially when I’m too sick to get out). I am grateful that is available almost anywhere.

I will meditate today on my network of friends and on how (and when) I connect with them.

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~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~

He got the better of himself, and that’s the best kind of victory one can wish for.

~ Miguel de Cervantes ~

During active addiction, we were truly our own worst enemies. No one could have harmed us as much as we harmed ourselves. We were on a collision course with death, self-destructive and sometimes suicidal. It seemed we’d never get the better of ourselves. For most of us, the pain finally proved to be too much, and we began the first steps of change.

At first, we desperately held on to any anchor we could find, one day at a time, praying for the help we needed. Gradually, though, we found we could master our self-destructive urges. We began to choose people, places, and things more carefully. We began to appreciate the world around us in a new way. We learned a new respect for our body, mind, and spirit. We learned we very much wanted to stay here and be a healthy, happy part of the world.

We learned our weaknesses and strengths, and how to be gentle with our fragile selves. Now with the help of our Higher Power and our Twelve Step programs, we grow more confident and self-loving every day.

Today help me continue to grow in confidence and love.

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~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~

Our feelings are our most genuine paths to knowledge.

~ Audre Lorde ~

There may be times when your emotions overwhelm you. You may wish you simply could not feel. But what would that mean—to live without any feeling? You would not feel sadness or happiness. You would not feel tired, and you would not feel refreshed and energized. You would not feel joy or love, or experience the unique connection between people. And you would not feel pride, confidence, compassion, or a whole range of feelings that add to the experience of living.

Feelings provide you with valuable information. Some of that information can be lifesaving. For example, the ability to feel physical pain helps you to avoid further in-jury. Other feelings are more subtle. Feelings of sadness give you information that there is something you need to grieve. When you feel fear, the message is that something or someone is causing you to feel cautious. When you feel love, you are urged to open your heart to another.

Without your feelings, you would not have any knowledge about yourself. You would have a life free of emotions, but your existence would be robotic. You would not be able to connect with anything or anyone, and your world would be silenced.

Today I will let my emotions teach me something about myself.

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~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~

The ladder of life is full of splinters, but they always pinch the hardest when we’re sliding down.

~ William L. Brownell ~

Climbing is usually difficult – shimmying up a tree, climbing stairs, moving up the corporate ladder, or moving ahead in school. All these actions involve effort and hard work and sometimes may not seem worth it for all the energy expended.

Yet if we failed a semester, lost a job, or fell down the stairs, we’d soon feel the effort was harder. The only payoffs we’d gain from such backward movement would be pain, loss, and abandonment. To pick ourselves up and start climbing again would require almost double the effort to regain the lost ground.

We need to keep moving upwards, keep reaching for the top. Keep on working toward higher goals, dreams, and ideals. It won’t be easy to constantly struggle to reach higher. But as long as we don’t look back or fall back, our lives will be filled with rewards. By moving ever upwards, we cannot fail.

There’s no going back to the pain and hurt. I need to keep moving up, up, up.

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~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~

Repairing the damage

It really does not matter how much we used or drank. The important thing is what it was doing to us, how it was affecting our lives. The biggest cop-out for people with addiction has always been, “I’m not using as much as other people, so maybe I’m not chemically dependent.”

We couldn’t admit what using was doing to our lives, our families, and friends. It nearly destroyed us, but now we have a chance to repair the damage. If we are willing to accept ourselves and to turn our will and our lives over to our Higher Power, we can restore our lives.

Do I clearly see the destruction that my using caused?

Higher Power, help me today to accept my addiction and to stop using excuses to avoid the task of recovery.

One thing I will do today to begin repairing the damage caused by my using is

God help me to stay clean and sober today!

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~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~

A ship in port is safe, but that is not what ships are built for.

~ BENAZIR BHUTTO ~

Newcomer

I’ve been meaning to get started on the Fourth Step, but I just haven’t had enough time to myself.

Sponsor

Problems having to do with time are often about something else. If we’re procrastinating, usually it’s because we fear something.

For me, this fear is almost always the mistaken belief that I’m not worthy. I think that I won’t be able to do an adequate job or that others will devalue my efforts. And what if I’m a success? I may want success, but fear that I won’t be able to live up to the new, higher standards I’ll have set for myself.

If there’s something we want to do, we can find the time to begin it. Length of time is far less critical than consistency. For example, ten or fifteen minutes of writing every morning can add up to hundreds of pages in the course of a year. Whatever the project, we’ll probably find that we get more practiced and efficient as we go. As a result, the clarity of our vision and quality of our work will improve. Continuing our journey through the Steps will enhance the quality of our sober lives with greater freedom and self-esteem. We are worth it.

Today, I begin something I’ve been putting off.
I commit to continuing, a little bit at a time.

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~ THE EYE OPENER ~

When we take the first drink we invite the dead certainty of physical illness, untold sorrows, shame and degradation. That first drink has built more hospitals, jails, poorhouses and insane asylums than any other cause. All the drinks that follow are simply compounding the felony.

There are some people that can drink intelligently, but these people avoid difficulties. We are not in that class and experience has proven it. Years of sobriety will not enable us to join that class, and again, experience has proven it. Why do you persist in trying, what are you trying to prove? That you are the exception to the rule? If you are the exception you automatically become a freak.

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~ WALK SOFTLY AND CARRY A BIG BOOK ~ (Official & Unofficial Sloganeering From the 12 Step Programs) ~

1) Change your action; change your attitude.

2) No matter what predicament you find yourself in today, tomorrow can be different.

3) One Group, One Vote, One family

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~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~

Desiderata

Go placidly amid the noise and haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence. As far as possible, without surrender, be on good terms with all persons. Speak your truth quietly and clearly; and listen to others, even the dull and ignorant; they, too, have their story.

Avoid loud and aggressive persons; they are vexations to the spirit. If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain and bitter; for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself. Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans.

Keep interested in your own career, however humble; it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time. Exercise caution in your business affairs; for the world is full of trickery. But let this not blind you to what virtue there is; many persons strive for high ideals; and everywhere life is full of heroism.

Be yourself. Especially, do not feign affection. Neither be cynical about love; for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment it is perennial as the grass.

Take kindly to the counsel of the years, surrendering the things of youth. Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune. But do not distress yourself with imaginings. Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness. Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself.

You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.

Therefore be at piece with God, whatever you conceive Him to be, and whatever your labors and aspirations, in the noisy confusion of life, keep peace with your soul.

With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams, it is stil a beautiful world. Strive to be happy.

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~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~

AS A MAN THINKETH

Think not that I am come to destroy the law, or the prophets: I am not come to destroy, but to fulfill.

For verily I say unto you, “Till heaven and earth pass, one jot or one tittle shall in no wise pass from the law, till all be fulfilled (Matthew 5:17-18)

A “jot” or yod was the smallest letter in the Hebrew alphabet, like the Greek “iota.” A “tittle” (really “little horn”) is one of those tiny spurs or projections that distinguish certain Hebrew letters.

The scribes and the Pharisees were for the most part worthy men leading strictly moral lives according to appearances. Their faults were the weaknesses of the religious formalist everywhere—spiritual pride and self-righteousness. Of these faults they were unconscious—that is the deadly malice of these diseases of the soul—but they did strive to fulfill the law as they understood it. Jesus knew this, and he gave them credit for it. Here he warns his followers that unless their practical conduct is better than that of these people, they need not suppose that they are engaged on the spiritual path.

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~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~

A Better View of the Sky

Now that my house has burned, down, I have a better view of the sky.

~ Zen saying ~

I was startled to receive this letter from a successful Los Angeles artist: “During the recent fires, my house was leveled, along with my entire collection of paintings.” To my surprise, the next line read, “Now I am free! I am packing to go to the island of Kauai, where I will fulfill my lifelong dream of leading wilderness adventures.”

When an apparent disaster strikes and our life as we knew it is undone, it may be a blessing in disguise. The event could be clearing out an old pattern to make way for a new and more fulfilling life. See the situation not as a curse, but as an opportunity. The Chinese language character for crisis is a combination of two other symbols: danger and opportunity.

A Hawaiian gardener told me that gardeners in colder climates have an advantage over those in the tropics. The winter frost kills all microorganisms in the soil so that next spring’s crops are not subject to contamination from the previous year’s pests. Even when life seems frozen and desolate, growth and good are occurring behind the outer appearances.

In the Hindu religion, the god Shiva, ruler of destruction, is revered as much as Vishnu, the creator. The old must be cleared away to make way for the new.

Help me trust that changes beyond my control are working on my behalf.

I surrender to change and call it good. I release the old to make way for the new and better.

[bluidkiti]

April 23

Step by Step

Today, reflect on the choices and responsibilities of sponsorship. If I have progressed in my sobriety that I need to ask someone to sponsor me, where and how do I begin? My home group is fertile ground, and I may think about selecting three or four members, narrow them down to those I feel I can trust most and then approach that potential sponsor in confidence. If I am being asked to sponsor someone, however, I ask my higher power for the wisdom and responsibility before taking on such a sacred trust. Let me understand that sponsorship does not mean I am the sponsee’s pseudo-priest and that the job does not make me “preacher.” Today, I extend my recovery to include asking to be sponsored and, God willing, consenting to someone’s request to extend my hand to his. And our common journey continues. Step by step. – Chris M.

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~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~

SERENITY

Cheerfulness keeps up a kind of daylight in the mind, and fills it with a steady and perpetual serenity.

~ Joseph Addison ~

Our Program allows us to stand back from day-to-day confusion and let serenity come into our lives. Our Program doesn’t take away all the struggle and problems from life, but it does let us learn a different outlook and attitude.

We don’t have to get caught up in every storm that blows our way. We don’t have to live the pain of every person who crosses our path. We don’t have to right every wrong.

Our recovery is a gift to us from a Power greater than we are. We become more and more aware of the meaning of the words in the Serenity Prayer: “God grant me the Serenity to accept the things I cannot change, Courage to change the things I can, and Wisdom to know the difference.”

Let me learn to see the world as it actually is, not as I want it to be. I trust that my Higher Power didn’t make a mistake in designing this world or the plans for my life.

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~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~

We must find some spiritual basis for living, else we die.

~ Bill Wilson ~

When one of the founders of Alcoholics Anonymous wrote these words, he was speaking from the perspective of a recovering man. He knew that his addiction would kill him if he didn’t base his life on a spiritual footing. There is also such a thing as being spiritually dead while our physical bodies are still alive. Whether we are recovering from addiction or codependency, or walking some other healing path, our life force is rooted in our spiritual connection.

Just as an addiction grows and progresses through the span of our lives, so too, if we are consciously attentive, our spiritual development continues through the years of our lives. We grow stronger, become more accepting of ourselves and others, and feel more connected to the people and the world we live in.

Today conscious contact with my creator keeps me alive.

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~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~

To show great love for God and our neighbor, we need not do great things.

~ Mother Teresa ~

We don’t have to invent a cure for cancer or lift the burdens of a friend to prove our worth to other people. Being considerate of someone’s feelings is quite enough, and it is something any of us can do. It takes only a moment’s thought and the willingness to treat others as we’d like them to treat us. I he real blessing is that we feel much better each lime our heart guides our actions.

Loving others is perhaps the simplest of all actions we can take in this life. It requires no planning, no money, no muscle power, no problem solving. It’s a simple decision we can make daily or hourly. Every person we encounter, every situation we face, is an opportunity for us to hone the skill. And every loving act or thought makes the world a better place.

It’s human nature to treat others as we are treated If each of us becomes willing to offer the hand of love to someone else today, we will indeed have done a great thing!

I can make a worthwhile contribution today. I can be kind to a stranger.

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~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~

I have a dual disorder, an illness like diabetes

I wonder if having a dual disorder is like having any other disease, say, like diabetes? Having a dual disorder makes me feel different, excluded, self-conscious. Sometimes it’s even hard to face people. Some seem afraid of me. They don’t understand my addiction and emotional problems.

But I have a no-fault illness, just like people with diabetes. I need professional help, just like people with diabetes. I deserve to be treated with respect and understanding, just like people with diabetes. I am in recovery—just like people diagnosed with diabetes.

When I feel stigmatized, I will call a friend for reassurance and support.

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~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~

I have never let my schooling interfere with my education.

Mark Twain

Education doesn’t only happen within the four walls of a classroom or school. We can learn in almost every situation, at almost every moment of the day. Our teachers don’t need a wall covered with framed degrees from schools or universities. In some cases, our teachers are those who have been through what we have been through. They can light the way for us. Often, they have something we don’t—like serenity—that they are willing to share with us. They may teach us by being an example for us, or they may share with us how they found peace in recovery.

As learners, our main task is to keep an open mind, to be willing to listen, and to ask questions. Most important is our willingness to learn. The teacher usually appears when the student is ready.

Today may I be willing to listen and learn from other recovering people. May I also be willing to teach what I have learned.

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~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~

Without faith, nothing is possible. With it, nothing is impossible.

~ Mary McLeod Bethune ~

Have you ever seen the wind? You can see a kite flying up above, a sailboat navigating waters with air-filled sails, birds dipping and turning as they navigate wind currents, or leaves shivering on trees. Such things let you know the wind exists.

Faith is like the wind; it is something you feel but can-not see. Faith is not comprised of logic and reason, but a trust in something greater than yourself. Faith exists when you can see the beauty of life all around you—in budding flowers, a cloudless sky, a majestic ocean. It provides you with the strength to face a challenge you feel is insurmountable, and yet you conquer it. It is there when you feel that daylight will never come, and dawn breaks.

Faith is the belief that most things are possible. It gives you strength to steer the strong winds of change and al-lows you to find comfort in the calming breeze of God’s presence. Faith is trust that good will triumph over evil, that your sins can be forgiven, that your wrongdoings can be righted, and that the storms of your life can be navigated.

I have faith that I am being guided in my life by a presence greater than myself. Through this faith, I trust that anything is possible.

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~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~

Man is born broken. He lives by mending. The grace of God is glue!

~ Eugene O’Neill ~

Has today been a day when we felt like we’ve fallen apart, faltered in our sense of direction, or lost confidence in ourselves? Tonight we may feel like we just can’t get it together-that it would be better for us to curl up in a tight ball and wait for a new day.

But the dawn of tomorrow will not work miracles upon us. It is up to us to get us back on track. When our shirt loses a button, we don’t throw away the shirt. We use a needle and thread and a little bit of patience to sew the button back on. The work we put into the shirt doesn’t have to be perfect, it just has to make the shirt wearable again.

Tonight we need to take time to mend ourselves. And we have the tools to do this – our Higher Power, literature, and meditation. These are our needle and thread. Through the grace of God, we’ve been given all that we need to mend ourselves.

How can I use the tools of the program to rebuild myself?

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~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~

Overcoming the urge

When you feel the urge to use, think it all the way through. This is a critical step in staying away from that first drink, pill, or fix. Some-times we’re confronted with situations where it seems we have no defense against the first one. So then we ask ourselves, What did my fellow addicts say to do?

They said; “Think it through” to its logical conclusion. For us that first drink, pill, or fix can mean wreckage and despair. And with such a thought to the consequences, we will gain the resolve to overcome the urge.

Do I know how to overcome the urge?

Higher Power, when my defenses are down, grant me the presence of mind to think the act of using all the way through.

If I feel the urge to use today, I will reflect on the consequences, such as

God help me to stay clean and sober today!

© 1974, 1998 by Hazelden Foundation

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~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~

The moment one definitely commits oneself then Providence moves too.

~ JOHANN WOLFGANG VON GOETHE ~

Newcomer

I sat down last night and tried to begin writing my Fourth Step. So many feelings went swirling through me that I got completely blocked. My life is full of things I feel embarrassed and ashamed about. There are secrets I’ve never told anyone. Some of these things are just too personal. How am I ever going to share them with another human being?

Sponsor

No wonder you’re anxious. It sounds as if you’re trying to do Step Five before you’ve begun Step Four. Each Step involves taking a specific action and having the willingness and faith to complete that action. In Step Four, the action is to write, and to be fearless and thorough as we do so. The Step doesn’t mention sharing what we write. It’s premature to decide whom to share with, and it’s counterproductive, in any case, to speculate about how someone is going to respond. Today, it’s just you, putting words on paper—that is your focus in the present moment.

I’m glad that you’ve shared your fear of this task with me. When we speak out loud about a fear, it begins to lose its power over us. As we so often hear in meetings, the opposite of fear is faith. We can pray for courage as we begin this Step. We can continue to pray each time fear arises in the process of writing.

I promise that by the time you’ve completed your Fourth Step, the process will have moved you to a new place, one you can’t really know or understand ahead of time. Only then will you be ready for the next Step.

Today, I stay focused on the present and on the task at hand. I let past and future go. I remember to breathe, as I replace fear with faith.

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~ THE EYE OPENER ~

It would be possible for a nation, or even the world, to exist without many of the natural resources we have, but no nation could exist without men. The strength of the nation is the strength of its men.

The men who comprise the population of the nation are individuals and the sum total of the virtues of the individuals is the character of the nation.

Our value to society is not our newfound sobriety but our new character as developed by our new and better way of living.

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~ WALK SOFTLY AND CARRY A BIG BOOK ~ (Official & Unofficial Sloganeering From the 12 Step Programs) ~

1) Never Alone

2) Short version of the serenity prayer: Forget it!

3) Stop Global Whining

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~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~

Letting Go

As children bring their broken toys
With tears for us to mend,
I brought my broken dreams to God,
Because God is my friend.
But then, instead of leaving my Higher Power
In peace to work alone,
I hung around and tried to help,
With ways that were my own.
At last, I snatched them back and cried,
“How can You be so slow?”
“My child,” God said, “what could I do?
You never did let go.”

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~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~

COMING OF AGE

As you grow in spiritual power and understanding you will find that many outer regulations will become unnecessary; but this will be because you have really risen above them. This point in your development, where your understanding of Truth enables you to dispense with certain outer props and regulations, is the spiritual coming of age.

However, this spiritual coming of age cannot be hurried or forced, but must appear when the consciousness is ready, exactly as the flowering of a bulb can only be the result of natural growth. You have to demonstrate where you are. To seek to demonstrate beyond your understanding is not spiritual. Fix your attention upon spiritual things, and without consciously trying to make haste you will be amazed to discover the pace at which your soul has hastened.

To take a simple example: Suppose that in a street accident you find that a man has severed an artery and blood is spurting out. The normal course is that unless this bleeding is stopped the victim will die. Now, what is the spiritual attitude to take in such a case? Claim the ability of God to heal. If your faith is strong enough the severed artery will immediately be healed. But if your faith fails, you must take the usual steps to save the man’s life by immediately improvising a tourniquet, or whatever the proper procedure may be, still claiming divine aid.

Let us hold fast the profession of our faith without wavering; (for he is faithful that promised) . . . (Hebrews 10:23)

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~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~

When the Time is Right

To everything there is a season, a time to every purpose under heaven.

~ Ecclesiastes 3:1 ~

C.Y. O’Connor’s dream was to build a water pipeline to irrigate parched terrain east of Perth, Australia. After years of planning and labor, the aqueduct was constructed, and throngs stood at the mouth of the huge conduit to see the first drops of liquid life. But when the valve was opened, nothing appeared. The next day, O’Connor was found dead in his home; the failure of his dream was too much for him to live with. Several days later, a trickle of water appeared at the mouth of the pipeline, and before long, water was gushing abundantly. The only thing that went wrong was his idea of when it would happen.

The early Bible, recorded in Greek, uses two different words for our word time. Chronos is the Biblical word for the time of day, which we translate into hours, minutes, and seconds. The other word, kairos, means, “in nature’s time,” or “in due time.” There is a divine order to life, and timing is a part of it.

If you feel frustrated or disappointed over lack of results on a project, hang in there and have some patience. If your venture is a good one, you will see the results. Perhaps not in chronos, your idea of the right time, but in kairos, the right time—the one appointed by Spirit. If you have done all you can to make something happen, and nothing seems to be coming of it, turn it over to God. Nurture your Spirit, and trust the universe to support you.

Give me the trust to know that all things are working in my favor, even when it does not appear to be so. Help me move beyond discouragement and see my dreams through to completion.

God’s timing is perfect. Divine order is operating now.

[bluidkiti]

April 24

Step by Step

Today, the link between consequences and responsibility – and an appreciation that I and I alone am responsible to the consequences of all my behavior and choices, including drinking, and that excuses and justifications will not spare me either consequences or responsibility. The program’s 12th step requirement to “practice these principles in all (my) affairs” implies that to live by AA’s principles I must not try to weasel out of owning my feelings, actions and behavior and the consequences of each. If, for example, I slip or relapse, I cannot blame anything but myself because, in the end, I made the choice to drink. No one tied me down and poured it down my throat, and I and no one else will endure the physical and emotional consequences of my choice to drink. Today, I am mindful that all I say, do and feel will bear consequences and that I alone am responsible to those consequences. And if I want to avoid responsibility for consequences, the “out” is clear: don’t do what I don’t want to be responsible for. And our common journey continues. Step by step. – Chris M.

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~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~

FAMILY

The family is the association established by nature for the supply of man’s everyday wants.

~ Aristotle ~

The bond between us and our families becomes tighter in recovery. It’s not because they understand or appreciate us more. It’s because we understand and appreciate them more. We come to grips with our personal history in our Fourth and Fifth Steps. We are given a clearer point of view on all our relationships. We take more responsibility for what happens to our families, because we learn that we are more than just guiltless victims.

Our Eighth and Ninth Steps let us admit our part in family relationships and mend fences that have been torn down. Our family bonds become tighter because we know we’re forgiven. We ask to share that forgiveness with our loved ones.

All of us in our families are loved by our Higher Power. I don’t regret the fact that I can’t change the past. I rejoice that the future is open.

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~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~

You see the one that I am, not the one that I was. But the one that I was is also still part of myself.

~ Jean Amery ~

Our stories are central to our recovery. We tell them because they remind us where we came from. We live in the present moment, but our history is part of our identity. It isn’t the total of our identity, but it informs our healing. It’s the mine where we dig for the nuggets of wisdom for living today, and it gives us the drive and encouragement to continue our progress. We don’t tell our stories to wallow in the shame and guilt we felt or to gain sympathy for our suffering. And we don’t tell them to revel in the euphoria of the highs we experienced.

In telling our stories, others get to know us better because our history is part of our very selves. In that process, we cannot help but listen to ourselves speak the truth, and thereby we put together the puzzle pieces of our selves. Taking the risk of saying where we came from provides the rewards of feeling accepted by others.

I am grateful for telling my story and knowing that I am more than the man I once was.

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~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~

Be spontaneous but not impetuous.

~ Kay Lovatt ~

Responding to the rhythm of the moment often blesses us with unexpected opportunities. Living in the present moment, rather than in yesterday or tomorrow, gives us our only chance for real growth and for knowing God.

Acting too quickly, however, without thinking of potential consequences, can cause extra problems for us. Taking advantage of an opportunity before it disappears doesn’t mean acting thoughtlessly. Every circumstance we experience deserves a thoughtful reaction. When we rush to respond, we fail to hear our inner voice, which reflects our Higher Power’s guidance.

We waste time when we focus on the past or future. Why do we complicate our lives so much? Thoughtfully experiencing each present minute gives us the gifts and the growth we deserve.

I will return my attention to right now every time it slips into yesterday or tomorrow.

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~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~

I can help myself by taking medication

I did not want to take psychiatric medication for three reasons: I didn’t want to admit the seriousness of my problem; I didn’t want to feel ashamed; I didn’t trust it.

For a long time I fought the idea—and then I hit a bottom. I realized that although counselling was helping, it wasn’t working fast enough. I didn’t have to keep suffering such intense and disabling feelings. I fear that if I didn’t get stable, I might need to be hospitalized. By taking prescribed medication, I saw that I would be taking good care of myself.

I will carefully follow my medication instructions and thank my higher power for this kind of help.

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~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~

We live in a moment of history where change is so speeded up that we begin to see the present only where it is already disappearing.

~ R.D. Laing ~

Life can be like a fishbowl in which we swim round and round, chasing our own tails. When we become obsessed with a problem, we may get stuck in its pain and lose sight of the solution. The more we worry, the more we seem to fearfully project into the future. Fear has been described as Future Events Appear Real. As soon as we step out of today and into tomorrow, we invite fear to join us.

Living for today is the ability to stand back and be objective about what we can change and what we can’t. It is our acceptance of our own limitations and powerlessness. It is the wisdom not to bite off chunks of life too big for us to swallow in one day.

Living for today, we realize that this 24 hours, well-lived, will grow into happier tomorrows.

Today let me get out of tomorrow’s driver’s seat. Let me live in the present.

************************************************

~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~

I was thought to be “stuck up.” I wasn’t. I was just sure oj myself.

~ Bette Davis ~

Do you remember the children’s story about the little engine that could? By chanting “I think I can, I think I can,” the little engine succeeded in traversing a difficult line of tracks and was filled with pride.

Confidence is built by beginning any task with a frame of mind based on “I think I can.” Phrases such as “I should,” “I ought,” or “I might” are not confidence-building words because they express doubt in your abilities and leave the door open to the failure you are likely to expect. Know that you may not always succeed on the first try, but what you learn from that attempt is not failure. Rather, you gain knowledge on how you can approach the task again, and come closer to achieving success.

Remember that the greatest challenge in your life has been entering a program of recovery. You are like the little engine that could—and did. Each day you are clean and sober, you have lived by the words “I think I can.” Continue to build your confidence by remembering what it took to get to where you are right now. With this confidence, you can get to where you need to go.

Each day I build confidence in my abilities to face and conquer challenges.

************************************************

~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~

Being sorry for myself is a luxury I can’t afford.

~ Stephen King and Peter Straub ~

We have surrounded ourselves with many luxuries to enhance our lives; microwave ovens, color televisions, clothes, jewelry, and so on. We may have purchased these items even if we couldn’t really afford them – just as long as we could have them and use them.

Some of the things that are also important to us are our negative emotions: depression, sell-pity, selfish-ness, ungratefulness, or anger. But what if we had to pay for the luxury of feeling each of these feelings? Would we be able to afford a week of self-pity? An hour of anger? Or several minutes of selfishness?

The value we place upon the material things in our lives can also be placed on the emotions we feel each day and night. Our positive emotions can enrich us, but our negative emotions will leave us in debt.

Am I rich enough to waste time feeling sorry for myself? How can I use my resources wisely?

************************************************

~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~

Dealing with daily problems

For many of us, chemicals were an escape from the trials of the world. We deeply resented them and earnestly sought escape. Simply getting clean and sober did not wipe away all our problems. Now, however, we have an opportunity to deal with them constructively.

If we do not take that first pill, drink, or fix, our problems can be solved, and stumbling blocks can become stepping stones to a better life.

Am I learning how to deal with daily problems?

Higher Power, I pray to accept my daily problems and for your help in dealing with them.

One thing I will do today to deal constructively with my problems is

God help me to stay clean and sober today!

************************************************

~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~

There but for the grace of God go I.

~ OLD SAYING, SOURCE OF A PROGRAM SLOGAN ~

Newcomer

I hear some people talk about the truly terrible depths they sank to when they were active in their addictions. That’s not me, though. I’ve always had a roof over my head. The bills got paid. I always got to work on time and did what I was supposed to do. I feel sorry for anyone who’s gone through such debasing experiences, but I don’t really relate to them.

Sponsor

Those who have lost everything and then entered recovery are blessed with clarity. They don’t have to entertain doubts about where addiction can bring us—any of us. If we persist in addiction, we will lose health, home, friends, reputation, work, purpose, and soul. I learn from listening to their stories what extremes my addiction is capable of taking me to if I go back to using.

Addiction is often called a disease of denial. No addict wants to admit to having an addiction. I clung to my excuses like a life raft. If I met certain minimum requirements of work and civilized behavior, I could rationalize away the thought that I had a problem. I functioned more or less adequately in spite of my addiction. This fact fed my denial and postponed my surrender.

Many of us carry our denial into recovery. Some days denial rears its head more insistently than others. The best medicine for denial is to listen with an open mind, to identify with others’ feelings, and to share our own memories of active addiction.

Today, I honor my urge for healing. As I listen to others in recovery, I identify with the feelings they share.

************************************************

~ THE EYE OPENER ~

The reasoning of the practicing alcoholic is in such foul shape that he is apt that he is apt to take any attitude on the drinking question and usually does.

It is unreasonable to expect them to view their own or anyone else’s sobriety in a rational way. Naturally plain common sense is not possible in the midst of an alcoholic fog, but why – oh, why do so many practicing alcoholics, including slipees, invariably persist in looking for the most insecure member of AA in their quest for a drinking partner?

If you are homesick for the gutter, go on back to it, but don’t take anyone with you.

************************************************

~ WALK SOFTLY AND CARRY A BIG BOOK ~ (Official & Unofficial Sloganeering From the 12 Step Programs) ~

1) HOW: Honest, Open-minded and Willing

2) Courage is fear in action.

3) Our lives become so different once we learn to magnify our blessings the way we do our troubles.

************************************************

~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~

The Letter

Dear Friend,

How are you? I just had to send a note to tell you how much I care about you.

I saw you yesterday as you were talking with your friends. I waited all day hoping you would want to talk to me too. I gave you a sunset to close your day and a cool breeze to rest you—and I waited. You never came. It hurt me, but I still love you because I am your friend.

I saw you sleeping last night and longed to touch your brow, so I spilled moonlight upon your face. Again I waited, wanting to rush down so we could talk. I have so many gifts for you! You awoke and rushed off to work. My tears were in the rain.

If you would only listen to me! I love you! I try to tell you in blue skies and in the quiet green grass. I whisper it in leaves on the trees and breathe it in colors of flowers, shout it to you in mountain streams, give the birds love songs to sing. My love for you is deeper than the ocean, and bigger than the biggest need in your heart!

Ask me! Talk to me! Please don’t forget me. I have so much to share with you!

I won’t hassle you any further. It is your decision. I have chosen you and I will wait.

I love you. Your friend,

God

***********************************************

~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~

STRIVING FOR PERFECTION

What of the man who is conscious of considerable moral imperfection, perhaps of the habit of grave sin, and is at the same time sincerely desirous of spiritual growth? Is he to relinquish the quest for spiritual knowledge until he has first reformed his conduct? By no means. As a matter of fact any attempt to improve himself morally without spiritual aid is foredoomed to failure. The thing to do is to pray regularly and to throw the responsibility for success upon God. The man must carry on, no matter how many times he may fail. Let him keep affirming that God is helping him, and that his own real nature is spiritual and perfect. In this way moral regeneration and spiritual unfoldment will go hand in hand. The Christian life does not require that we possess perfection of character, or else, which of us would be able to live it? What it does require is honest, genuine striving for that perfection.

. . . he that is perfect in knowledge is with thee (Job 36:4).

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~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~

Nothing to Protect

Tour days are short here; this is the last of your springs. And now in the serenity and quiet of this lovely lace, touch the depths of truth, feel the hem of heaven.

~ Adlai Stevenson ~

When my mother was undergoing chemotherapy, she lost her hair. At first she joked about it, but then she became self- conscious and bought a wig, which she wore at all times. During the final weeks of her life, she was too ill to care about how she looked, and she renounced the wig. I felt jarred to see her without hair, and yet in my heart I applauded her for going beyond her concern for appearances. She was finally free.

Children and older people are the most honest because they have no investment in the games other people believe they have to maintain. The elderly and the very young do not have a vested interest in power, money, sex, prestige, status, and appearances. They are trying not to change the world or get a lot from it. They can tell the truth without fear of losing. Their delight in being what they are far outweighs any glitter the world may offer.

Some of the greatest wisdom is uttered by the young and the elderly. While we usually notice children’s jewels, often we overlook the wisdom of the aged. One of the great tragedies of our culture is that we do not respect our ancestors. By not doing so, we dishonor the elderly who live among us, and we hurt ourselves by missing out on the wisdom and blessings they have to offer. My Japanese friend told me that every Oriental home has a place of honor for the family’s ancestors. The family prays and makes offerings daily to the memory of their forebears.

Let us learn from the young and the old, that we may be as free as they are and rise above the distractions of the years in between. Is anything really worth compromising the truth? Let us bless our young and elders for the wisdom and legacy they impart.

I pray to keep the flame of truth burning above all other desires.

In the truth I am free.

[bluidkiti]

April 25

Step by Step

Today, understand we cannot claim credit if someone we sponsor or to whom we have carried the message has found sobriety. Likewise, let us not feel that we have failed a sponsee or co-member who continues in active alcoholism. To claim credit for anyone else’s sobriety or blame for their continued drinking fires our ego and, because of it, we break the commandment to be only a carrier of the message. Just as we cannot credit anyone for our sobriety other than the program or blame our drinking on someone or something other than ourselves, we cannot claim credit for another person’s recovery. Today, let us remember that we are a messenger, not the message. And our common journey continues. Step by step. – Chris M.

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~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~

DON’T PROJECT

What we anticipate seldom occurs. What we least expected generally happens.

~ Disraeli ~

We are not in the business of getting results. It’s easy and simple to plan results. It’s not so easy to just plan and not expect results.

When we think a plan of ours will bring us and mankind all sorts of payoff, we are playing god again. When our plan doesn’t turn out the way we expected, we put ourselves in danger of feeling hopeless. This can lead to relapse.

We remember the past only for what its lessons have taught us about living today. If yesterday was spent in planning how today was supposed to turn out, we will usually be disappointed in today. Today hardly ever turns out the way we had planned or expected it to turn out.

My plans for the future must stay hopes and possibilities. No matter how far I fall short of my plans, I must accept the results with serenity. I will work at making plans, but I won’t plan the results.

************************************************

~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~

Listen to your body. Do not be a blind and deaf tenant.

~ Dr. George Sheehan ~

We were taught that masculinity means ignoring pain, disregarding the sensations that arise within our bodies. A warrior in battle needs to do that in order to save his life. When a man can ignore his pain because of a more pressing goal, he has a valuable skill. But we aren’t living in a battle zone every day. And a wise man uses his skills selectively. When we are driving down an open highway on a sunny, warm day, we use different skills than when driving on ice.

Part of our recovery requires that we grow beyond some of the stereotypes of what a man is. A one-trick pony can’t adapt to a new show. When we are in the safety of an intimate relationship, we need to know what we feel and express it. We need the skills to pay attention to our internal messages, because they are also guides.

Today I will have the wisdom to listen to the messages of my body and my heart.

************************************************

~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~

Healing is learning to trust my own wisdom, my own intuition.

~ Mary Zink ~

Being insecure is common with our disease. Some think insecurity triggered our abuse of chemicals. Yet it doesn’t matter which came first, the chemical abuse or the insecurity. They were good partners for years. Unfortunately, the partnership left us bankrupt!

Getting into recovery is like putting money in the bank. Working the Steps, going to meetings, getting a sponsor, being a sponsor, and taking time every day to commune with our Higher Power are I he deposits we make in our account. When we hit u rough spot, we have something to fall back on.

Believing that we can think clearly about the important matters in our lives is concrete progress. Our confidence about handling problems is growing. In time, what used to baffle us no longer will.

I am wise. I’ll know what to do today in every situation if I open my heart to my Higher Power.

************************************************

~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~

I am finding the help I need

I managed to stop using and get my psychiatric symptoms under control in treatment. But once out, I wasn’t sure I could stay straight and stable. I was afraid I would get sick again under stress or with strong cravings. I was afraid I couldn’t manage on my own.

But finally, when the fear got strong enough, I went to a recovery meeting to look for help. And over the course of several weeks, I could tell that I had found it: the consistency, structure, and spirituality of the meeting itself combined with the respectful, caring, and consistent support of a sponsor (or guide, mentor, helper). I now had one way to help me mange my disability on my own.

I will write down two reasons why I need help to recover and the name of someone who can help me.

***********************************************

~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~

Take it easy — but not too easy.

~ Bob B. ~

In the early days of recovery, we’re so grateful to be alive that we’ll do anything, sacrifice anything, to change. Then, bit by bit, we may be tempted to slip back into our old ways. Sometimes we make excuses to skip a meeting, or we lose contact with our sponsor. We need daily reminders of how dangerous this kind of thinking can be. What will we sacrifice in exchange for our recovery? Is recovery worth giving up a social event? Overtime at work? A movie, a play, the ballet, a concert? Spring cleaning? Although recreation is important, we often wonder what excuses we have used to avoid the daily work of recovery.

Without our program of recovery, we had none of these things to sacrifice. When we began recovery, we may have had no home, no friends, no family, no job. Now, we have a life again. Now, we have choices. Now, we have support from people who accept us as we are, and who know the struggles we are facing. Now, we have a Higher Power who will love and support us in the worst trouble. Now, this moment, we can choose life over death simply by making a call and sharing our gratitude for a new life, or by asking for the help we need. This is all the power we need today.

Today let me remember all that is good in my life and work to keep it.

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~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~

Striving for excellence motivates you; striving for perfection is demoralizing.

~ Harriet Breaker ~

Beavers are often considered perfect engineers. The dams they create out of sticks and branches, green vegetation, and mud can still raging rivers and create a unique under-water living environment. They are dedicated workers that immediately take action when humans or natural elements conspire to destroy their dams. Even dams that have been broken down repeatedly are rebuilt.

Even beavers are not perfect as their dams do break. It might be better to think of them as tireless in their quest to create optimal survival conditions. Their dams are not works of beauty, nor is there one perfect dam-building pattern. But each dam is purposeful and functional.

Similarly, how you approach recovery determines the level of your success. If you strive to do everything per-fectly, chances are little or nothing you can accomplish will result in the perfect outcome you desire. But if you work tirelessly at your recovery, to build and rebuild whenever necessary, and to create the best possible life for yourself, then you will accomplish much. Success is measured by your dedication to see your work through to completion, even if completion comes after several tries.

I will strive for achievement and success in all that I do, rather than for perfection.

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~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~

Ignorance is the night of the mind, but a night without moon or star

~ Confucius ~

Long ago, before the advent of radar systems, navigators and explorers found it impossible to proceed on cloudy nights. Without the moon or stars to guide them, they lost their sense of direction and the light by which to see. They were powerless and had to accept their inability to progress under such conditions.

Tonight may seem like a cloudy night. We may feel lost or directionless, or we may feel as if we’ve stayed in the same emotional space. We may pray in desperation for movement and change, only to feel as if our prayers go unanswered. Like a car mired in mud, we may be spinning our wheels and going nowhere.

Acceptance, then, is our answer. Just because our prayers haven’t brought the results we’ve wanted doesn’t mean no one has listened. Our prayers were heard, and the answer was to stay where we were and wait. Our journey is being prepared for us. Soon the clouds will roll away, the moon and stars will guide us. Our Higher Power’s will, not ours, is what we have to accept.

Even though I may feel like I’m going nowhere, tonight I can turn my life and my will over to the care of my Higher Power.

************************************************

~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~

Coming alive to life

How important is awareness! By drinking or drugging we tried to dull our awareness, although perhaps we excused some drugs by insisting that we were heightening our awareness. We always wound up with awareness of little but pain. We were deadened and uninterested in life.

Communication is based on awareness: Through communication, we make others aware of us and we are made aware of those around us. Without communication with God, there is no awareness of God working in our lives. If we want to come alive to life, we can begin by paying attention to our Higher Power.

Am I coming alive and paying attention?

I pray to become more aware of my Higher Power and of life.

Today I will slow down and pay closer attention to

God help me to stay clean and sober today!

************************************************

~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~

Home, in one form or another, is the great object of life.

~ JOSIAH HOLLAND ~

Newcomer

I know this sounds trivial, but it’s still bothering me. My house is a mess. It feels out of control. It’s going to take forever to get it together. It’s not the sort of thing I can ask someone to help me with; I’m ashamed to let anyone see it.

Sponsor

In early recovery, we may crave change, but feel too de-pressed to know how to go about it. We may be overwhelmed just thinking of all the work involved in clearing up the wreckage of the past, whether it involves a messy house, unpaid bills, back taxes, work commitments, or personal promises.

As with so many chores, we can approach cleaning house little by little. Instead of pulling everything out of all the closets, we can limit ourselves to fifteen minutes or half an hour to fill a trash bag with things we don’t want in our lives any more. If we can’t simply throw things away, we can start filling a carton for a charitable organization. Short periods of time once or twice a week eventually add up.

Recovery began with a single action. Taking the First

Step prepared us for the Second. There are times when we feel we’re at a standstill, others when we progress rapidly. The overall length of time isn’t the point; it’s the quality of the ongoing process. We can begin it at any time.

One more thing: are we really so much worse than everyone around us that we can’t ask for help? If we can’t accept hands-on help, how about making phone calls before, during, and after tough chores?

Today, I take one step toward creating order.

************************************************

~ THE EYE OPENER ~

Man is a pretty smart duck, but after all these centuries of study, experimentation and reasoning, we still don’t know what we are, where our life came from, or what happens to it when we die. True we have certain faiths and beliefs, but who can say with certainty and with personal knowledge, exactly what the answer to the Great Enigma really is?

We have unlocked many of the secrets of Nature but we still don’t know what we are, how we got here or where we will go when we leave.

God still has many secrets. If man knew them all there would be no incentive to know God better.

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~ WALK SOFTLY AND CARRY A BIG BOOK ~ (Official & Unofficial Sloganeering From the 12 Step Programs) ~

1) Sometimes our individual actions damage the group.

2) N—****ing—A

3) Short version of the Serenity Prayer—”F” it.

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~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~

Live A Little Just To Please

Can you say today in honesty
As the hours slip by so fast,
That you’ve helped a single person
Of the many you have passed?

Did you waste the day, or lose it?
Was it well or properly spent?
Did you leave a trail of kindness
Or mementos of discontent?

Have you given God a moment
In humble, devout prayer?
Have you talked with Him in honesty
To let Him know you care?

As you close your eyes in slumber,
Do you think that God would say,
“You have made the world much better,
For you lived a lot today?”

***********************************************

~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~

NECESSITY FOR SELF-CONTROL

Ye have heard that it was said by them of old time, Thou shall not kill; and whosoever shall kill shall be in danger of the judgement:

But I say unto you, That whosoever is angry with his brother without a cause shall be in danger of the judgement: and whosoever shall say to his brother, Raca, shall be in danger of the council; but whosoever shall say, Thou fool, shall be in danger of hell fire (Matthew 5:21-22)

The Old Law said “Thou shall not kill,” but Jesus says that even to want to kill, nay, even to be angry with your brother, is sufficient to keep you out of the Kingdom of Heaven. It was a distinct gain when primitive people could be persuaded not to murder but to develop sufficient self-control to master their anger. Spiritual demonstration demands that anger itself be overcome. It is simply not possible to get any experience of God worth talking about, or to exercise spiritual power until you have gotten rid of resentments and condemnation. You can have either your demonstration or your indignation, but you cannot have both.

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~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~

Best When It’s Worst

Consider that people are like tea bags. They don’t know their own strength until they get into hot water.

~ Dan McKinnon ~

In the film Starman, an extraterrestrial comes to earth to study life on this planet. Like many such visitors, he does not receive a very kindly welcome and spends most of his time fleeing from authorities. In the process, he falls in love with a woman who befriends him. Finally he must leave, and he has a few short moments to say good-bye to his beloved. “Do you know what I learned about human beings?” he asks. “I learned that when things are at their worst, you are at your best.”

Adversity is a gift if we make it work on our behalf. Challenge is not a curse or a punishment, but an opportunity to shine. If life were easy all the time, we would not deepen in love, compassion, and wisdom, or learn how to sink a pipeline into the well of true strength within us. Often we do not know how powerful we are until we are faced with a challenge that draws forth our greatness.

In high school I took a typing class. By the end of the course, I had built up my speed to about 40 words a minute. The time came for the final exam, on which a large part of my grade depended. I focused intently and scored a smashing 64 words a minute—over 50 percent faster than my regular speed! Why did I do so well? I knew it counted for a lot.

When an act in life counts, there is a source of strength within us that grows to meet the challenge. Some people demonstrate superhuman abilities, such as pushing a wrecked car off an injured person. Where do they find the strength? It was within them all the time; the worst brought out the best.

I pray to be big enough to handle whatever comes before me.
With Your help, I can and will do anything.

The power of God is within me. The Grace of God surrounds me.

[bluidkiti]

April 26

Step by Step

Today, wisdom to appreciate the power of the spoken word, the one spoken in anger, fear, frustration or sarcasm and which can inflict more damage than any destructive act of my drinking days. Let me understand that a single word can do hurt and injury that might not be healed by any amend I might make. And even if my amend or apology is accepted, the injury and hurt may cut so deeply in the person against whom the wrong word is spoken that something can still be forever lost. I pray for guidance in the 12th Step to practice the program's principles in all my affairs, including not caving into the impulsiveness or anger of unleashing a word that is intended to hurt. Today, I think before I speak, especially if I am angry, frustrated or afraid, because I cannot unspeak it - and atonement may not be enough to repair the damage. And our common journey continues. Step by step. - Chris M., 2016

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~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~

ACTION

Willingness without action is fantasy.

~ Anonymous ~

The best way to get ready for action is to pray. Prayer makes us ready for success. Sometimes our prayers tell us to go right or go left. Sometimes they just tell us to stand still and wait for orders.

When we are willing to pray, we are willing to act. When we are willing, we are filled with prayer. Prayer always comes before and action.

When we see those that admit they are willing to act but don’t lift a finger to help themselves, we don’t know what to think. Maybe they are still in the watching phase. Maybe the instruction aren’t clear. Or maybe they just haven’t prayed.

When I see anyone who is not growing, I will encourage them to pray, attend meetings, and work twice as hard on their Step work.

**************************************************

~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~

Although the world is full of suffering it is also full of overcoming it.

~ Helen Keller ~

We are born into a life with both pain and joy. That mix is inevitable, no matter what our status in life. If today’s combination seems more filled with difficulty or challenge, it also contains the possibilities for coping with it. We can take some steps today that will move us toward overcoming our challenges. We must avoid feeling defeated if we cannot totally fix our problems all at once. And most certainly, there are unseen forces at work, forces that continually bring change.

Let us accept that life always changes. Never can we place a clamp on some perfect day and hold ourselves there permanently. So we ride the ups and downs, we meet our pain and suffering, and we overcome it.

Today, as I face difficulty and rise to its challenges, I will have an attitude of acceptance.

**************************************************

~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~

Many of us think that attaining status and financial success will make us happy.

~ Helene Lerner-Robbins ~

Maybe we have to attain status and material wealth before we realize that it doesn’t fulfill us. If we grew up in unhappy homes, we may have thought that material objects would change our lives. To discover otherwise takes wisdom, and we are only now seeking that.

The attainment of wisdom gives us the happiness we have sought everywhere else in our past. All that we longed for comes to us when we stop the rush to attain things and focus instead on the miracle of our spiritual being. Life is full of wonderful paradoxes; utilizing the tools of this program helps us discover them.

Let’s not mislead ourselves. Having status and financial success doesn’t preclude happiness; it just won’t guarantee it. Finding God and settling for wisdom does.

I don’t need anything special to be happy. My reliance on my Higher Power will give me lasting happiness.

**************************************************

~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~

My emotions are connected to my body

It started when I was a child: whenever I felt sick to my stomach, I got sad and scared. I had an emotional reaction to what was going on in my body. In short, I felt awful.

In recovery, I notice this pattern in reverse: I have a physical reaction to my emotions. When I get upset or feel depressed, I may quickly feel tired and achy. Sometimes I even get a stomachache (although I no longer use drugs or alcohol). But I don’t feel awful. The difference is that over time I have learned that my mood affects the way my body feels, just as my body affects my mood. Understanding this important relationship helps me stay focused on the problem.

Three times today I will note my mood and how my body feels.

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~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~

Questions are never indiscreet, answers sometimes are.

~ Oscar Wilde ~

Over and over again, we circle the same thoughts in our head, certain that if we keep chewing on them, we’ll be better able to make important decisions. Should we commit ourselves to a new relationship? Is it time to take a new job? Do we need to stand up for a principle?

The harder we tiy to make that “perfect decision,” the tighter and more obsessed we become. It starts to feel like the most important decision of our lives. The very process of decision-making becomes a problem.

Instead of recycling the same thoughts, let us ask, “What’s the worst thing that can happen if we choose a given path today?” “Is this decision in sync with ourselves and our recovery?” “Will it work for today?” When we answer these questions, our choices are clear. And when we make positive, healthy decisions, the cycle of worry can stop. Our lives are more serene, more productive, and more calm.

Today help me to keep my perspective. No decision is without risk —but few are irreversible.

**************************************************

~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~

When you cease to make a contribution you begin to die.

~ Eleanor Roosevelt ~

Do you consider yourself to be charitable when you give away old clothing and the things you no longer want? Do you feel a sense of righteousness when you write a check to a nonprofit organization? While these are good and laudable things to do, such actions keep you at a distance from those receiving your charity. It is one thing to pack up a bag full of clothing and put it into the chute of a metal container; it is entirely another to offer your time and provide direct care—the greatest gift those in need can receive.

George Sand once wrote, “Charity degrades those who receive it and hardens those who dispense it.” It cannot be easy for someone who has next to nothing to accept the material goods of another.

To be of greater use to others, set aside time to interact with the elderly at a senior center, offer tutoring services to homeless children, or serve meals at a shelter. Such things can open your eyes to the needs of others so you can see the difference your contributions truly make.

Today I will consider ways in which I can truly contribute to those in need. Then I will devote time to providing my attention and care.

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~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~

If you have knowledge, let others light their candles at it

~ Margaret Fuller ~

We are seen as powerful examples every time we speak at a meeting, offer encouragement, and give support to those in need. The knowledge we’ve gathered from the strength and hope of the program is a gift to share with others.

If we've ever seen a candlelight ceremony, we know how powerful one candle can be. Countless tapers can be lit until a room is brilliant with light. Our knowledge of the program is kept alive by a tiny candle within us. And each time we share our knowledge, we have the ability to light the candles of others.

Sometimes we may feel our faith and hope lessen and our candlelight begins to flicker and dim. Yet we can light our faltering candles again from the knowledge of another. We are all candlelighters to each other. This gift assures that we'll never be in the dark. We ll always have the ability to gather light and to give it.

I will let others light their candles from mine, thereby sharing the light of the hope in the program.

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~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~

Doing what it takes

This universe is beautiful, but it doesn’t owe us a living. We can’t ask for results before we put forth the effort. We can’t be using mood-altering drugs and tell ourselves we’ll straighten up when we get a job. It doesn’t work that way.

We have to be willing to do what it takes to straighten up first—then we get the benefits. We have to be willing to do it God’s way, notours.

Am I willing to do what it takes?

Higher Power, grant me the willingness to put forth the effort today, to work the Steps, to stay sober and dean.

To stay clean and sober today, I will

God help me to stay clean and sober today!

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~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~

The young man who has not wept is a savage, and the old man who will not laugh is a foot

~ GEORGE SANTAYANA ~

Newcomer

I feel close to tears today, for no good reason. Listening to someone talking about his children, I actually did start to cry, and later I came close to tears again just because someone asked me how I was feeling. Everything has been going so well, and now this! I don’t want to be one of those people who are full of self-pity, and I don’t want my boss or my friends to think that my emotions are out of control.

Sponsor

When I was active in my disease, I rarely laughed or cried from the heart. Whether I felt sad or happy, angry or afraid, any feeling made me uncomfortable; a strong emotion was a signal to medicate myself. In early recovery, even after we have gone through physical withdrawal, our tears may flow seemingly for no reason as our bodies and spirits cleanse themselves and restore inner balance. There is no such thing as a “wrong” feeling. Nowadays, though I don’t need to cry as often, I can let others see my feelings without fear of being judged; my new willingness just to be myself helps others— it lets them see that they, too, are free to be themselves.

Today, I don't have to deny or judge my feelings or the feelings of others.
Tears and laughter are both gifts of my recovery.

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~ THE EYE OPENER ~

Many of us came into AA either in middle life or beyond and feel that with our reasonable life expectancy, it is practically impossible to atone for our previous wrong actions. The thief at the crucifixion probably thought the same thing, but by one single act he brought the promises that “this day thou shalt be with me in Paradise.”

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~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~

I Am Me

In all the world, there is no one else exactly like me. Everything that comes out of me is authentically mine because I alone choose it. I own everything about me: my body, my feelings, my mouth, my voice, all my actions, whether they be to others or to myself. I own my fantasies, my dreams, my hopes, my fears. I own all my triumphs and successes, all of my failures and mistakes.

Because I own all of me, I can become intimately acquainted with me. By doing so, I can love me and be friendly with me in all of my parts. I know there are aspects that puzzle me, and other aspects that I do not know, but as long as I am friendly and loving to myself, I can courageously look for solutions to the puzzles and for ways to find out more about me.

However I look and sound, whatever I say and do, and whatever I think and feel at a given moment in time is authentically me. If later some parts of how I looked, sounded, thought, and felt turn out to be unfitting, I can discard that which is unfitting, keep the rest, and invent something new for that which I discarded. I can see, hear, feel, think, say, and do. I have the tools to survive, to be close to others, to be productive, and to make sense and order out of the world of people and things outside of me, and therefore I can engineer me. I am me and I am okay.

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~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~

DANGER OF ANGER

Therefore if thou bring thy gift to the altar, and there rememberest that thy brother hath aught against thee;

Leave there thy gift before the alter, and go thy way; first be reconciled to thy brother, and then come and offer thy gift (Matthew 5:23-24).

Indignation, resentment, the desire to punish other people, the desire to “get Even,” the feeling “it serves him right”; all these things form a quite impenetrable barrier to spiritual power. Jesus says that if you are bringing a gift to the altar, and you remember that your brother has anything against you, you must put down your gift and go make peace with your brother; when you have done that, your offering will be acceptable.

Jesus builds up this tremendous lesson in the Oriental tradition. He says first that whoever is angry with his brother shall be in danger; second that to be hostile to another, is to be in grave danger; and finally that to hold so low an opinion about a fellow creature as to consider him outside the pale, is to shut ourselves off from any hope of spiritual fruit while we remain in this state of mind.

Note carefully that the King James version of the Bible here makes a serious error, which has been corrected in the revised version. It interpolates a phrase not in the earliest manuscripts and make Jesus say, “Whosoever is angry without a cause”; which is a manifest absurdity. No sane person gets angry without what he deems to be a cause. What Jesus said was that whoever was angry with his brother under any circumstances is in danger.

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~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~

When to Pray

You got to pray if you want to make it today.

~ Hammer ~

My friend Tami, a guidance counselor in a Los Angeles elementary school, conducted a staff meeting to determine how to help a five-year-old girl. At the age of four, Janet had watched her father commit suicide and was then sent to live in her aunt’s home, where she was abused by her uncle. The little girl, emotionally traumatized, became aphasic and registered an I.Q. bordering on mentally handicapped. After Janet left the meeting room, the staff sat in stunned silence; they all felt the deep pain this child had undergone at a tender age. As the teachers rose to leave, Tami called them back, inviting them, “Let’s pray.” The group held hands, and each person, in their own way, asked God to take care of this child. As human beings, they had hit a dead end, and they acknowledged that they needed help from a higher power.

Perhaps it is time we started to pray again in schools—and homes and offices and hospitals and government buildings and everywhere. I am not referring to rote prayer in which we parrot meaningless verse; I am talking about real prayer that emanates from the hearts of sincere human beings to the heart of a receptive God.

Prayer is our greatest power, for it connects us with the power of the entire universe, which is love. Often we leave prayer until the last resort, while it will help us just as readily if we use it as our first response to fear. Pray for your peace and that of others. God will answer.

Be with me today, and help me remember that You are the source of true healing.

God is my best friend and my fountain of strength.

[bluidkiti]

April 27

Step by Step

Today, character defects of frustration and impatience as they relate to relationships and communications. As a drinking alcoholic, frustration and impatience walked hand-in-hand when it came to dealing with others: frustration with impatience of people who did not react how and when I expected. As a recovering alcoholic, frustration and impatience still walk hand-in-hand in dealing with others. Clearly, little change. Also clearly, abstaining from the bottle isn't all that recovery requires. A fundamental change in character and emotions is needed. If I overreact when people do not respond when and how I think they should, maybe I am the problem. Today, I work consciously and conscientiously on my defects of frustration and impatience by considering the possibility that someone other than myself might have a better idea. And our common journey continues. Step by step. - Chris M., 2016

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~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~

HOPE

Even now I am full of hope, but the end lies in God.

~ Pindar ~

There are many gifts for us in recovery, but no gift is as wonderful as hope. Before we took our First and Second Steps, hope was nothing more than a dream. We hoped for experiences we shouldn’t have. All our hoping did was drive a wedge between ourselves and the real world. Our steps have helped us see that when we stray from the real world, we stray from our Higher Power.

Each Step draws us closer to claiming the Promises available to everyone in recovery. If what we hope for is the will of our Higher Power, it will happen. When we hope for a life in recovery, our hope becomes the will of our Higher Power. Then we receive exactly what we need when we need it.

The hope I have is knowing that my Higher Power will do for me what I couldn’t do for myself.

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~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~

Dream as if you’ll live forever. Live as if you’ll die tomorrow.

~ James Dean ~

To live as if we will die tomorrow means to feel very alive right now. It means to be spiritually alert in the present moment with an open heart and full awareness of our experience. To dream as if we will live forever means we hold a vision and a sense of values that act as a compass on our path, directing our daily choices.

We know how it felt to be lost or trapped and already half dead. That was before our rebirth in recovery. One of life’s paradoxes is that when we accept our ultimate powerlessness of death, we are freed to live life at its fullest. This is not the path that most adults follow. It is easy to lapse into a less alive, less spiritually alert style. But on our healing journey, we cannot afford that.

Today I am grateful for this day and this moment of life.

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~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~

At times fear grips me and I can concentrate only on the anxiety. Then I realize I am in God’s care and I need only trust and the fear subsides.

~ Michele Fedderly ~

Remembering God in the midst of a fearful situation is often extremely difficult and at times impossible. But when we can bring God to the forefront of our minds, we sense immediate relief. Practicing reliance on our Higher Power will strengthen our use of this profoundly powerful tool. Our fears will be much more manageable when the use of this tool becomes second nature to us.

As we grow in our understanding of this program, we can look at fearful moments as opportunities to get closer to our Higher Power. Many of us came into recovery with little understanding of a loving God. More than a few of us felt betrayed by God. We may still be like babies learning to walk. But our walk will grow confident. With time and practice we will join the women who turn to God for guidance throughout their day. And as a result, we will know peace.

I will let God help me in every situation today. If I ask for help, I will get it. This is God’s promise.

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~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~

I can expect to feel some ups and downs

I thought that once I got straight and once my medication took effect I’d be OK. I do feel better, but I still have some hard days that I didn’t expect. They scare me−they remind me of how much I struggled with my addiction and emotional problems before I sought help. Sometimes I feel like I’m right back at the bottom.

And yet, after the wave of fear diminishes, I remember that I am now on the right path and I am not alone. I need to keep in mind that since my dual disorder developed over time, it may take some time to cope with it. It is not a simple problem.

I will ask my higher power for strength and patience to help me stay balance.

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~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~

He who has a thousand friends has not a friend to spare.

~ Ai Ibn-Abu-Talib ~

When we entered recovery, we had buddies we drank or used with and people we hung out with, but often no one we could really call a friend. For a long time, we hadn’t been “friend material.” Too poor in body, mind, and spirit to be generous, we weren’t even a friend to ourselves; how could we be a friend to someone else? Finally, we just gave up on having friends. Our attitude became, “Who needs them anyway?”

Then we began to recover and one day realized we had friends. Good friends. Friends worth loving. And the most amazing thing of all: they loved us too. We could have a friend. We could be a friend. No longer unreliable and ungenerous, we could give of ourselves. No longer needing to buy another’s love, we can accept love from others. No longer suspicious about other people’s motives, we can accept friendship.

In learning to love ourselves and others, we began to accept that other people could love us, too. Now we can trust ourselves to be good to our friends. With a growing circle of people to choose from, we can risk being ourselves, knowing that whatever happens, we can handle it. What a wonderful feeling of security and confidence we have now that we’ve found friends.

Today help me appreciate my friends, and help me be a good friend to others.

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~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~

Love doesn’t just sit there, like a stone, it has to be made, like bread; re-made all the time, made new.

~ Ursula K. Le Guin ~

Most people consider love as a word that describes romantic feelings or those of a sexual nature. But love is the opposite of hate and, in that context, can be thought of as an emotion that replaces feelings of animosity. It is an emotion that can sometimes be refashioned in situations where it can be helpful. With this definition in mind, think how different your life would be if you could see the positive in every challenge, if you loved everyone and everything in it.

Consider that when you feel hatred for something or someone, it affects your entire emotional outlook. It is hard, for example, to hate your job and have a positive attitude in other areas of your life. But if you reframe this hate with love, you lessen negative feelings and keep negativity from spilling over into other areas of your life.

While you may really hate your job, by thinking about loving it you can consider things about the job that are positive and, in so doing, change your outlook about the job—and in other areas of your life.

Today I will replace hate with love so I can let in positive rather than negative feelings.

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~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~

Everyone needs optimism. If you don't get it inside you get it outside.

~ Dr. Denis Waitley ~

What made us feel optimistic in the past? Perhaps our use of drink, drug, food, or relationship helped us feel optimistic. Perhaps another person's behavior made us feel optimistic. But these feelings probably didn't last long because they were based on persons, places, or things outside of us. As soon as those things changed, so did our feelings.

Today we're learning who we are and what it's like to feel. We're learning to appreciate solitude and our own company. We're learning that feelings come from within. But how can we feel optimism from within us? How can we cultivate feelings of hope?

We can look at how different we are than when we first came into the program. We can also gain optimism by looking at the changes in those around us. Observing abstinence, behavioral changes, and fewer mood shifts are sure signs that the program works. Optimism can grow within us by seeing and hearing growth in ourselves and others.

Can I feel optimism about my growth? Can I see positive changes made by others in the program too?

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~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~

Developing ourselves

We must realize in our hearts that we are be-coming better people. We do this by using our highest standards and making our best efforts. We do this, in part, by turning our lives over to God, who will guide us if we sincerely ask.

As we develop, we find we’re offering much more to life than just avoiding mood- altering drugs. We are coming to love others and to help them by thinking, feeling, and behaving maturely in all situations.

Am I developing into a better person?

Higher Power, help me realize that my new life is not just about changing my past but about developing my future as well.

Today I will work on developing myself by

God help me to stay clean and sober today!

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~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~

Do we not find freedom along the guiding lines of discipline?

~ JONATHAN SWIFT ~

Newcomer

What does it mean when someone says, “I’m going to do a Fourth Step on this”? I thought Step Four was a thorough history of where my using took me. Do I have to write it again whenever a problem comes up?

Sponsor

Many people who are “searching and fearless” in taking the Fourth Step never feel the need to take another one. Others decide later in recovery to take another Fourth Step in light of what they’ve learned about themselves. It’s a matter of personal preference and need. Step Ten suggests a way to keep the inventory process up to date by making a daily or on-the-spot review of our motives and actions.

We can learn from our experience of Step Four how to approach a specific problem in recovery. When people say, “I’m going to do a Fourth Step on it,” they usually mean that they will go back to the method of Step Four and do some writing about a current problem, taking a close and thorough look at their motives and behavior. This is an example of what’s meant by the phrase (from Step Twelve) “practicing these principles in all our affairs.”

Today, I trust that the Twelve Steps can shed light on whatever situations or problems arise in my day.

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~ THE EYE OPENER ~

Real reforms are in people, not in movements. All the laws and demands of church, state and family could not make us change our drinking habits, but the day eventually came when we wanted to change, and then. And then only, was the change possible. Prohibition legislation was only a challenge to us and we drank the more because they said we could not. We were determined to show those So-and-Sos they couldn’t stop us.

Only when we, ourselves, wanted to do something about it was any real reformation possible.

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~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~

Don’t Quit

When things go wrong as they sometimes will,
When the road you’re trudging seems all uphill,
When the funds are low and the debts are high,
And you want to smile, but you have to sigh;
When care is pressing you down a bit,
Rest, if you must, but don’t quit.
Live is funny with its twists and turns,
As every one of us sometimes learns;
And many a failure has turned about
When they might have won had they stuck it out.
Don’t give up though the pace seems slow;
You may succeed with another blow.
Success is failure turned inside out:
The silver tint of the clouds of doubt.
And you can never tell how close you are;
It may be near when it seems so far.
So stick to the fight when you’re hardest hit.
It’s when things seem worst that you must not quit.

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~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~

AGREE QUICKLY

Agree with thine adversary quickly, while thou art in the way with him; lest at any time the adversary deliver thee to the judge, and the judge deliver thee to the officer, and thou be cast into prison.

Verily I say unto thee, Thou shalt by no means come out thence, till thou hast paid the uttermost farthing (Matthew 5:25-26).

Jesus is stressing here the instruction contained in this injunction to “watch and pray.” It is ever so much easier to overcome a difficulty if you tackle it at its first appearance than it will be after the trouble has had time to establish itself in your mentality—to dig itself in, as the soldiers say. The moment a difficulty presents itself to your attention, quietly affirm the Truth, giving t no chance to dig itself in.

On the other hand, by thinking about your difficulty, you incorporate it into your mentality, and if you go on doing this long enough, it may be exceedingly difficult to get rid of it.

Jesus, when he wished to drive home a particularly important point, employed a graphic illustration from everyday life. In those times the law governing debtors was extremely severe. When a man found himself in debt, it behoved him to come to terms with his creditor as quickly as possible. Even at the present day it is important for the debtor to keep his case from coming into court, for the longer the case drags on the more do lawyers’ fees, court dues, and expenses of various kinds accumulate, all piled on top of the debt proper. So it is with the various difficulties that present themselves to us in our daily lives.

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~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~

Blessed Death

Death is delightful. Death is dawn, the waking from a weary night of fevers into truth and light.

~ Joaquin Miller ~

As my friend Deborah was about to leave for a vacation, her 11- year-old son told her, “Mom, I'm afraid that when you leave, you’ll die and I’ll never see you again.” Deborah sat down and talked with him about her vacation, and explained to him that sometimes when we or the people close to us change, it feels like a death. In a way he was correct; his mother was changing her life, and she was going through a symbolic death. She communicated that she loved him and would always be there for him. Her vacation was deeply transformative, and she returned feeling more whole and able to reach her son on a new level.

While writing my first book, I had the strangest feeling I was going to die. After meditating on the feeling, I realized what was dying was the old me. I knew that when the book came out, I would have to own the strength, vision, and intimacy for which I was making a stand in my writing. “Then let it die,” I declared, trusting that the me who was being born was far more rewarding than the one that was passing away.

Death is not a bad thing; with every death comes a birth. The key to moving beyond the fear or pain of death is to ask, "What is being born in place of what is dying?” When you discover the blessing death brings, you can walk through the valley of the shadow of death and truly fear no evil.

Help me find life where I once saw death. Lead me from the darkness to the light.

God is life. I gracefully accept endings, knowing each completion brings a greater beginning.

[bluidkiti]

April 28

Step by Step

Today, no running from mistakes with a sense of failure or blaming someone. No recovery program reaches for perfection because no person will or can ever achieve it. Likewise, I cannot and must not impose that unreachable goal on myself - and others. AA's 10th Step says, in part, that we "promptly admitted" when we are wrong - not if. Thus, let me not be so vain as to place responsibility for my mistakes, big and small, on someone or something else. Adversely, let me not be discouraged by a sense of failure when I err in word, thought and deed. Instead, let me be open to owning my mistakes, identifying the reason for them and correcting the reason so that I do not repeat them. Today, I am not mistake-proof and I cannot expect myself to be - nor can I expect anyone and anything else to be. And our common journey continues. Step by step. - Chris M., 2016

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~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~

ANONYMITY

Anonymity is so important, it is half our name.

~ Anonymous ~

The 12th Tradition of our Fellowship states clearly the value we place in our anonymity. It is so important that it becomes part of our identity. We have found the secret to making the many into one. We have discovered the key to Fellowship. This Tradition cuts across all the ways we try to separate ourselves from each other.

There is no amount of money, no special title, no special circumstances that can break anonymity. We are joined by the one thing we have in common: our disease.

Even though we’re anonymous, we’re still members of the most exclusive club in the world. The only requirement is that we have a problem and a sincere desire to solve it. Our Program reminds us that when we attend meetings, we let “who we see there, what we hear there,” stay there when we leave.

My anonymous membership in this special club lets me live a life of many rewards.

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~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~

I don't want everyone to like me; I should think less of myself if some people did.

~ Henry James ~

When we don’t know ourselves very well, we may be desperate to have everyone like us. Sometimes we even notice more intently that one person who doesn’t seem to like us than the many who do. We are looking out-ward to verify that we are okay. Of course it feels good to have someone else like and respect us. Until we begin to know and accept ourselves, we have an un-quenchable, unselective thirst for more applause from others. In that condition, the search for others’ approval drives us like the need for survival.

It is amazing how our sense of ourselves grows as we live in the Twelve Step program. We get to know our-selves by working the Steps, and we develop into the kind of men we respect. Now, having others like us is no longer a survival need. It is a wonderful benefit of being part of the human community.

Today I am fateful for the true friendships that I have in my life.

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~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~

God is the only constant.

~ Ruth Casey ~

Change is happening to us every minute. Scientists tell us that all our body’s cells are replaced every few months. We are losing old hair and growing new hair every day. The plant world participates in a cycle of death and renewal every minute. We are surrounded by change. And when it’s change that doesn’t affect our egos, we accept it without comment, or in many cases, without notice.

Change in our personal lives is not so easily accepted. Losing a job can be devastating. Ending a relationship might feel unsurvivable. Moving to a new community, away from friends, can be profoundly lonely and disorienting. We haven’t been promised unchanging lives. But we have been promised an unchanging, always-loving Higher Power. The most fruitful lessons we can learn are that God is with us throughout every experience and that change is introduced in our lives only when it helps us fulfill our greater purpose.

I will trust the experiences in store for me today and have faith they are part of God’s plan.

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~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~

My program provides helpful tools for recovery

At first I thought that all I had to do was join a Twelve Step fellowship and my problems would be solved. I even thought (hoped?) that twelve meetings (one for each Step) would do the trick. But what I found out was that the program does not cure a chronic illness. However, if I used some simple yet powerful tools, they can help me recover one day at a time.

There are several of them and they’re used in all the fellowships. The tools include meetings, service, accountability (inventories, amends), the literature, prayer, meditation, the telephone, the Steps, the Traditions, and anonymity. In my program these days, I use at least one of them every day to help me stay free of my addiction and stay stable in my mental health.

Today I will practice using one recovery tool on a current problem.

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~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~

Sometimes I love you and sometimes I hate you.

Kirstin M.

Even the people we love sometimes get on our nerves. Spouses, siblings, close friends, and other people we care about do not and cannot always meet our needs. Sometimes when we need a sympathetic ear, we get criticism instead. Other times we may want to be held, but get a cold shoulder. Love may change to hate, only to change back again to love at another time. Add addiction to this love-hate relationship and our moods may swing out of control.

In recovery we may set ourselves up for disappointment if we believe the love-hate swing will end forever and only love will remain. We are not always going to get warm, loving feelings from those we love. Even in recovery, those we care about continue to be human with their own needs and concerns.

Our feelings will change, too. But when feelings of anger or hate surface, we need not despair. Our Higher Power is always with us. By working our program, we learn to talk about bad times, learn they will pass, and come to believe that love and acceptance will surface again. Now, we can begin to recognize the pattern of real life, and accept changes in others and ourselves with serenity.

Today I am grateful for my Higher Power’s love and acceptance.

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~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~

If life is a bowl of cherries, what am I doing in the pits?

~ Erma Bombeck ~

An excellent illustration of optimism comes from Portia Nelson, in her book of poetry, There’s a Hole in My Sidewalk: The Romance of Self-Discovery. In her poem “Autobiography in Five Short Chapters,” Nelson describes a hole in the sidewalk that confronts her each time she walks down the street. The first time she walks down the street, she falls into the hole. The second time she pretends she does not see the hole, but falls into it nonetheless. The third time she falls in, calling the tumble a habit. The fourth time, she walks around the hole. In the fifth and final chapter, she walks down another street.

Nelson, who achieved fame as a singer, songwriter, and actress, wrote the book of poetry as a breast cancer survivor. Later on in life, throat and tongue cancer robbed her of her voice, but not her talent for song writing and scoring musicals and films.

There are thousands of people who, each day, approach a multitude of problems, afflictions, and difficulties with an optimistic outlook. They refashion their lives so they can continue to live with a positive attitude and enjoyment.

Today I will not allow the circumstances of my life or the challenges I face to destroy my cheerfulness or my ability to reinvent myself.

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~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~

There is something infinitely healing in the repeated refrains of nature - the assurance that dawn comes after night, and spring after the winter.

~ Rachel Carson ~

Sometimes it seems as though time speeds up during fun-filled hours and slows down during times of idleness, misery, or pain. But time proceeds at a steady, unchanging pace. Because of this, we are assured that with every minute there can be new hope. Bad times will end with the great healer - time.

Time brings summer to a close as well as winter to an end. Time ages the brilliant petals of flowers as well as prepares the new buds. Time brings the end to a life as well as the beginning to another. Because of this continuum, we can trust that time will bring the good to us as well as take away the bad.

Today may have been a trying time. But tomorrow will dawn and along with that dawn comes renewed hope. We can trust in the constancy of one thing - time will always move forward, taking us away from the old and gently guiding us to the new.

Time is always on my side, taking me ever closer to new moments that are fresh and untouched. Tomorrow will give me many such moments, of this I can be assured.

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~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~

Practicing humility

Sometimes we puff up our egos and think, Since I’m overcoming this terrible addiction, I must be very wise. But it is not through self or our own wisdom that we recover. We recover through the love and guidance of our Higher Power.

If we keep in mind who we are, what we are, and where our hope has come from, we can grow stronger in our recovery. If we for-get these basics and rely on our egos, we will grow closer to the streets and to despair.

Am I practicing humility?

I pray to acknowledge my Higher Power as my source, strength, and hope, not myself or “intellectual wisdom.”

I will practice humility today by

God help me to stay clean and sober today!

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~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~

Everything may happen.

~ SENECA ~

Newcomer

I was talking with someone in recovery about how to deal with a difficult situation I think may arise. The person said to me, “Stop projecting.” I felt put down. This thing I’m worrying about is a real possibility, not something I’m making up; I think I should be prepared for it. What’s so bad about “projecting”?

Sponsor

Some people in recovery call Steps Four through Nine a way to clear up the wreckage of the past. A friend says she knows that she’s projecting when she’s “worrying about the wreckage of the future”1.

There’s certainly nothing wrong with having goals and making plans, but we need to watch that we’re not obsessing. When I was active in my addiction, making plans was always a problem. I would frequently commit myself to something in advance, then panic; there was a fifty-fifty chance that I’d cancel when the day arrived. Sometimes I was in complete denial about the future and avoided necessary scheduling.

In recovery, we can and should make realistic plans. We have to pack suitcases for a trip, set up work schedules that make it possible to keep our commitments, make social appointments that will bring fun into our lives. And we can learn to leave some breathing space so that we’re not booked in advance for every day and every evening.

Today, I have goals and plans. I take appropriate actions and turn the results over to my Higher Power.

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~ THE EYE OPENER ~

The span of human life is such a small part of eternity that the length of your life, whether it be twenty years or a hundred, is of no moment. Yet the life span of some men has, and will continue to have, great influence upon many succeeding generations.

If you can by one single act do something that will benefit just one person fifty years from now, you will have done more than millions who have gone before you. Few leave anything to posterity when they die that will outlive their tombstone.

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~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~

I always carry my medallion,
A simple reminder to me
Of the fact that I’m in recovery
No matter where I may be.

This little chip is not magic
Nor is it a good luck charm.
It isn’t supposed to protect me
From every possible harm.

It’s not meant for comparison,
Or for all the world to see,
It’s simply an understanding
Between my Higher Power and me.

Whenever I doubt the cost
I paid for recovery,
I look at my medallion
To remember what used to be.

It reminds me to be thankful
For my blessing day by day,
And to practice the principles
In all I do and say.

It’s also a daily reminder
Of the peace and comfort I share
With all who work the Program
And show they really care.

So I carry my medallion
To remind no one but me
That the Promises will unfold
If I let God work for me.

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~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~

MAKING TERMS WITH THE ADVERSARY

By coming to terms with the adversary in the first place, that is to say, by getting our thought right immediately concerning any difficulty, we incur no “costs” and the transaction remains a simple one.

Suppose that you find yourself sneezing. If you say: “There, now, I have caught cold again; I am in for it!” and then proceed to dwell upon the thought that you have caught cold, you are giving the trouble the opportunity to dig itself in to your mentality. People often indulge in quite a meditation upon colds. Instead, if at the first moment that the possibility of catching cold occurs to you, you immediately reject it and affirm the Truth, the whole thing will be over in a short time.

Or perhaps upon opening your morning mail you find a notice informing you that your bank has failed. Many people in such a case would saturate themselves with the thought of ruin by rehearsing every kind of difficulty that might come. However, the proper thing to do, immediately upon becoming aware of the news, is to turn to God─your real support─and refuse to accept the suggestion as trouble as binding; literally drive the thought of loss, fear, and resentment out of consciousness. If you do this, working steadily until peace of mind is restored, you will presently find that in some way or other the trouble will disappear. Either the bank will speedily recover itself─and there is no reason at all why one person’s prayer should not save the bank and the fortunes of thousands─or, if this is not possible, you will find your loss equalized in some other way.

. . . whosoever shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved (Romans 10:13)

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~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~

You Won’t Get Over It

As soon as you trust yourself, you will know how to live.

~ Goethe ~

In the film Doc Hollywood, Michael J. Fox portrays a young doctor who becomes stranded in a tiny southern town, where he falls in love with a young woman named Lou who is engaged to a man named Hank. Although Lou is not in love with Hank, she feels she must go through with the marriage because it would be too embarrassing to cancel it. Fox confronts Hank, reminding him, “But she is not in love with you!”

“That’s okay,” Hank answers nonchalantly, "She’ll get over that.”

Many women in my seminars have told me they wish they had listened to their inner voice when it told them not to go ahead with a particular marriage at an early age. Sooner or later, after a certain amount of hardship, such women or men trace their steps back to the point where they sold out; they begin to tell the truth they were denying, and confront the issues of their relationship. Because they learned a great deal in the process, the experience is not a total loss, but they do gain the awareness that they must honor their instincts and not go along with something just because it is socially expedient.

I discovered a challenging Zen koan, a riddle to contemplate throughout the day: Where does yourself end and where does society begin? What do you do because you honestly choose it, and what do you do because it is expected of you? If you were living to fulfill your heart’s intentions rather than the wishes of others, what would you be doing differently?

When we violate ourselves out of fear, we don’t get over it. The universe asks us only to be true to ourselves, and if we deny self-integrity, eventually we must return to the same point and choose again, this time in our favor.

I must live my truth. Give me the strength to be what I am.

I honor my heart. I live my own dreams.

[bluidkiti]

April 29

Step by Step

Today, service to other people or causes as an essential element in my recovery, that expending some of my attention to something other than myself may make my problems not as bad as I think they are. Service can range from giving a lead talk, talking to a sponsor or sponsee, volunteering to make the coffee for a meeting or simply listening to someone else's problems or experiences. And possibly, the problems I have, or think I have and maybe exaggerate, may seem somewhat less serious. Adversely, I must respect prudence in not expending myself to the extreme that my own needs and working on problems are sacrificed and neglected. In the end, my program requires that I not focus all that I have completely on myself and that sharing or volunteering for some degree of service work may make my own problems less heavy. And our common journey continues. Step by step. - Chris M.

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~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~

THOSE WHO LISTEN

When you do all the talking you only learn what you already know.

~ Anonymous ~

One of the secrets for finding answers to any emotional problem is to talk with fellow members we can confide in fully. We don’t need to look any farther than our sponsor or the members who are part of our recovery. We quickly find those who always here with a complete understanding about how we feel.

Such friends are perfect listeners because they have suffered and survived the same types of problems. They are compassionate and sympathetic. They listen to us patiently while we completely describe our emotions. Only then do they share details about how they survived. Just knowing that they understand is comforting to us.

My listeners can’t solve my problems for me. But they do show how they used the tools that are available in the Program to work through the same kinds of problems.

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~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~

If you are walking through hell, keep going.

~ Winston Churchill ~

Some days, some weeks, even some years seem like hell. We give our best to life and still it continues to be hard. A future with some measure of pain and problems is inevitable from the very day of our birth. That may seem like a bleak reality, and it is what we may call hell. But it is also the very thing that shapes our learning nnd development into good men.

These times of challenge and heartache call us to keep going. They are a source of spiritual lessons for us. If today finds us in the midst of such difficulty, we can know that we are never alone. Our Higher Power is always with us. We can talk to a friend and let him know what is happening in our life. And we can also know that, as bad as any time might be, life is always a mixture that includes some blessings and something to be grateful for.

Today I will keep going forward.

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~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~

Unless our desire for human compassion is stronger than our desire to be right, to be secure or to belong, love will elude us.

~ Marsha Sinetar ~

Knowing we are loved is what most of us crave, for brief moments we feel it; then it eludes us once again. Why does it slip through our fingers so quickly? One way of attracting the love we desire is to be willing to love others. What we give to others lames back to us. Unfortunately, we may give Judgment, impatience, or anger far more often than we give love.

We can learn to give compassion. First we need to make the decision to be compassionate. Then we need to act as if we’re comfortable doing this. When we have practiced it a while, we’ll discover that giving love and receiving the love we crave is within our grasp.

I will feel loved when I give love away. I don’t need to be right today. I need to be loved.

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~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~

I need a quiet place

These days I’m sober, stable−and fragile. My therapy is helping me get better, but it’s also stressful and upsetting. Emotionally, I feel bruised and raw. I also feel sad at times because it seems there are few people in my life who understand me and the process of recovery from a dual disorder.

Because I am working hard on my recovery each day, I need a place of serenity and safety. I am learning that a quiet retreat can help me regain strength, get centered, and do the private healing I need. It’s one of the important new ways I am learning to take care of myself in recovery.

I will find or make a place where I can go at any time for safety, release, and relief.

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~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~

We’re so kind to other people, why are we so mean to ourselves?

~ Allen A ~

Loving others more than ourselves is common in recovery, especially at the beginning. We quickly learn to accept and love others, even with all their flaws, but we use another set of rules for ourselves. Maybe it’s because we know our own secrets. Maybe our self-esteem still needs an overhaul. Perhaps we think others are guilt-free. Whatever the reason, we can’t really love others until we love ourselves; we can’t give away something we don’t have.

Luckily, we’re learning new ways to boost our self-esteem. Some of us spend a few minutes before sleep reviewing the day, with special emphasis on the positive things we did. Some of us give ourselves positive strokes through the day, telling ourselves what a great job we did or how much progress we’ve made. Others pause each day for a “quiet time” or meditation. Still others make up a list of tasks and tiy to perform one each day. There are many other ways to feel good about ourselves, too; all we need is a little creative thought and effort. But it’s worth the work. We’re valuable, worthy of love, and gaining the tools to learn to love others.

Today help me be kind to myself and to forgive my faults.

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~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~

Proximity was their support; like walls after an earth-quake they could fall no further for they had fallen against each other.

~ Elizabeth Bowen ~

Native American women often were responsible for a chore that had considerable value to the survival of the tribe—planting. Without crops to grow and harvest, there would be little food to eat in the winter and the tribe would be in danger of starvation. If a woman was sick and unable to begin the spring planting, she would invite all of the members of the tribe to a feast and ask them to plant the fields for her.

The ailing woman knew her tribe would be there to help her, and she made certain everyone had a full belly so they could work hard in the fields. Both sides benefited from the arrangement of mutual support.

The program offers similar mutual support. When one member is feeling weak, the others share their strength. Even when one has experienced a temporary relapse and returns, the group welcomes the member with open arms, providing much-needed acceptance. Without such support, the infrastructure of the group would not be as strong. Without such connection to one another, there would be many individuals, but no whole.

I am thankful for the support I am given and the support I give to others.

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~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~

As a girl my temper often got out of bounds. But one day when I became angry at a friend over some trivial matter, my mother told me, "Elizabeth, anyone who angers you conquers you.

~ Sister Elizabeth Kenny ~

The phrase "seeing red" is appropriate to describe anger. It may be comfortable for us to feel anger, or it can be excruciatingly painful. But unless we know how to get rid of our angry feelings and bring our lives into balance, anger will dominate us and color everything we come into contact with.

How do we stop feeling angry? The program gives us many ways. First, we can accept our powerlessness over the person, place, or thing that caused our anger. Second, we can ask, "How important is the cause of this anger? Will it be significant enough to remember weeks, months, or even years from now?" Third, we can ask our Higher Power to help us let go of the anger. That may not be easy, for we may want to hold on to it almost as much as we'd like to let it go. But with practice, we can learn to conquer our anger instead of having it conquer us.

Am I angry tonight? I can use the Steps to help conquer my angry feelings and to stop seeing red everywhere I look.

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~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~

Becoming forgiving

The lack of a forgiving spirit hurts our spiritual progress. Being unforgiving causes resentment, which is always a danger to our new way of life.

We have learned that if we forgive, we will be forgiven; but if we do not forgive, we will not be forgiven. So it seems we are just hurting ourselves by not forgiving others.

Am I forgiving?

Higher Power, help me forgive each person I need to forgive today.

Today I will forgive

God help me to stay clean and sober today!

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~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~

One must get a thing before one can forget it.

~ OLIVER WENDELL HOLMES ~

Newcomer

I hear people talk about having the desire for their drug of choice lifted. I don’t know if that’s what’s happening to me, exactly. I know I don’t want to repeat the painful experiences of my past, and I’m not picking up. But that doesn’t mean I never think about what it would be like to use again.

Sponsor

There’s a difference between desire and compulsion. There are sober alcoholics who sometimes still experience a desire to drink, as do active alcoholics who’ve lost jobs, homes, or families through their disease. Those who respond to cravings with addictive substances and behaviors instead of the tools of recovery are compelled to keep using. We may continue to have the desire for certain things, but the difference is our willingness to come to meetings and treat our compulsion.

We still live with the disease, though many of us no longer experience addiction signals—we don’t hear the old voices inside telling us that we want to pick up a drink, a drug, or an addictive behavior. The voice of recovery inside us is stronger. We don’t make the mistake of thinking we’ve been cured. For most of us, the longer our recovery, the more aware we are of our vulnerability to addiction. If we think an addictive behavior all the way through, we remember the suffering that followed the momentary relief. The central importance of recovery in our lives becomes clearer as we accumulate time in the program.

Today, I’m grateful for reminders of my addiction; they strengthen my commitment to recovery.

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~ THE EYE OPENER ~

Effort has been made to carry AA into schools and young people’s organizations, but the effective response has been so negligible that it has usually been abandoned after a short trial.

AA is a program for ALCOHOLICS – persons suffering from alcoholism. It was designed to appeal to them and them only. It is probably true that we can tell the kids a lot about drinking, but it will fall on deaf ears. Unfortunately, we must be pricked by the sharp thorn of experience in order to learn.

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~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~

I Didn’t Have Time

I got up early one morning
And rushed right into the day.
I had so much to accomplish
Hat I didn’t have time to pray.
Problems just tumbled about me
And heavier came each task.
“Why doesn’t God help me,” I wondered.
He answered, “You didn’t ask.”
I wanted to see joy and beauty
But the day toiled on, gray and bleak.
I wondered why God didn’t show me.
He said, “But you didn’t seek.”
I tried to come into God’s presence;
I used all my keys at the lock.
God gently and lovingly chided,
“My child, you didn’t knock.”
I woke up early this morning
And paused before entering the day.
I had so much to accomplish
That I had to take time to pray.

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~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~

AS A MAN THINKETH

Ye have heard that it was said by them of old time, Thou shall not commit adultery:

But I say unto you, That whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart (Matthew 5:27—28)

In this unforgettable paragraph, Jesus stresses the master truth, so utterly fundamental, yet so unsuspected by the world at large, that what really matters is thought. People have always been accustomed to suppose that as long as their deeds conformed to the law, they have done all that can be reasonably expected of them, and that their thoughts and feelings are their own business. But the type of thought that we allow to become habitual will sooner or later find expression on the plane of action.

The logical consequence of this fact is very startling. It means that if you entertain covetous thoughts for your neighbor’s money, you are a thief, even though you may not yet have put your hand in the till. The adulterer at heart is corrupting his soul even though his impure thought is never expressed on the physical plane. Lust, jealousy, vengeance, mentally entertained, carry the soul’s consent, and this soul-consent is the malice of sin.

Keep thy heart with all diligence, for out of it are the issues of life (Proverbs 4:23)

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~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~

The Answer in the Question

Go to your bosom, knock there and ask your heart what it doth know.

~ from Measure for Measure, by William Shakespeare ~

I am dating two men who have both proposed to me. Which one should I marry?” the woman asked Dr. Norman Vincent Peale, author of the classic book, The Power of Positive Thinking.

“Neither,” he answered in his gravelly voice.

“Why do you say that?”

“Because you are not in love with either of them.”

“How do you know?”

“If you were, you wouldn’t be asking me whom to marry; your heart would speak to you directly.”

As divine beings, we contain the knowledge of everything that is right for us. At any moment we can turn within for guidance and discover the next step on the path of our highest good. Others may illuminate the way or remind us of what we already know, but they cannot give us something we do not already have. A consultant is someone who borrows your watch to tell you what time it is. The only thing more valuable than a good consultant is the ability to read your own watch.

Experiment with agreeing to only those activities with which your whole heart resonates. To enter into a venture with half a heart will create half a result. If you have doubts, do not try to override them. Lay them out on the table, and look at them in the light. If you sincerely ask for guidance, the doubts will either reveal themselves to be important factors to be dealt with, or they will dissolve and give way to full participation.

Do it with a full spirit, or do not do it at all.

Thank You for placing the seeds of all wisdom within me. I will look for You in the temple of my own soul.

I turn within for my answers. I know my highest good.

[bluidkiti]

April 30

Step by Step

Today, instead of an alcoholic, I'm a soberholic. If "alcoholic" calls attention to the fact that I am addicted to alcohol, can't "soberholic" stake my addiction to sobriety? Despite AA's progress in striking down the image of the alcoholic as the down-and-out'er sleeping in alleys or drying out in a flophouse, a jail's drunk tank or mental hospital, a stigma remains. Might I be able to erode that stigma by labeling my addiction to sobriety instead of to alcohol? If so, maybe I can renew my self-confidence and weaken any temptation or lingering doubt about drinking again. As someone addicted to sobriety, why do I need alcohol? Today, at the risk of angering those who warn against trading one addiction for another, I'll substitute dependence on alcohol to addiction to sobriety. And our common journey continues. Step by step. - Chris M.

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~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~

Entertaining hope means recognizing fear.

~ Robert Browning ~

We are taught early in recovery not to be afraid of anxiety. It is a normal part of all lives. It can’t be stopped or gotten rid of.

We can only deal with anxiety by facing it. It is a vital life source that alerts us that something is wrong with our living patterns. As we act and react to anxiety, we build an ability for thinking through solutions carefully rather than making snap judgements. That way, anxiety helps us learn that we must face our problems.

We eagerly work through anxieties instead of ignoring them. Then they don’t get bigger. This also helps us with our spiritual growth because we learn to do what we can to face the cause of our anxiety. Then we turn the rest over to our Higher Power. Real peace is not a lack of problems. Real peace comes from facing up to challenges.

Anxiety tells me there is a problem, so I can face it and learn and grow from dealing with it.

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~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~

An expert is a man who has made all the mistakes that can be made in a narrow field.

~ Niels Bohr ~

At the time they happen, mistakes are always deeply regrettable. No one ever sets out to make a mistake. Fortunately we are not seeking perfection. We weren’t born fully clothed with an instruction book on how to live. We don’t learn anything new from doing the things we already have down pat. Mistakes are how we learn, and some of those lessons are painful indeed. A man who is afraid to risk a mistake shields himself from growing.

So we take risks, knowing we will make mistakes. There is no shame in a mistake that we learn from. It is said that the truly wise man keeps his beginner’s attitude and is always open to learning. Many of us can say that if mistakes create an expert, then we must be well qualified already. And, in fact, for those of us who have learned from them, we truly are smarter and stronger for the experience. The key is first to discard the notion of perfectionism, then to take the reasonable risks that may lead to mistakes, and finally to learn the lessons contained in them.

Today I am grateful for my life experience, and I will continue to take reasonable risks and grow.

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~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~

My life takes the course intended by my Higher Power when I go with the flow instead of against it.

~ Kathy Kendall ~

The number of times we struggle today is directly related to how many outcomes we try to force. Our unwillingness to let go and go with the flow can throw our journey off course. There is a rhythm to our lives—a pace and a direction—that’s been set by our Higher Power. Until we come to believe in that truth and become willing to trust it, we’ll cause ourselves many unnecessary problems and conflicts.

It’s restful to believe that there is a plan for our lives. It takes away the fretting and the guesswork, leaving many hours for play and creativity. It also assures us that we are special, not forgotten as we may have feared in the past.

I am willing to believe that I am on a special journey. Today’s experiences are part of it. I won’t fight them.

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~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~

I deserve respect

People with heart disease or diabetes need not be secretive about their illness to avoid stigma. They are not looked down on for having a serious illness. In short, they are respectively supported throughout their illness.

In the same spirit, I need to be treated with respect as I heal from my addiction and emotional illness. I need to be understood as a good person with two no-fault illnesses, who is doing the best he can. (And yet, there may be times when I need to protect myself from people who are judgemental and insensitive.) However, I am discovering that the more I respect myself, the more others will respect me.

Today I will acknowledge my ongoing recovery and pray to accept those who don’t accept me.

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~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~

By speaking of our misfortunes, we often relieve them.

~ Pierre Corneille ~

In addiction, we were isolated and alone, ashamed to share our thoughts and feelings with other people for fear of rejection. We lived with denial and dishonesty. With no close friends to mirror our lives, we had no objective view of how we were doing.

Now, in recovery, we could feel overwhelmed by what lies ahead, by all the changes we need to make. Alone, it may seem too much for us. We’re still struggling with addiction, one day at a time. We’ve begun the work of recovery, but we may feel we’re of too little value to ask another person for help.

Overcoming those feelings with the help of friends, a sponsor, and our Higher Power can bring a new strength and comfort to our recovery. In asking for help, we feel better about ourselves. When we get the help we need, we’re more confident about trying again. A sponsor can enrich our recovery, giving us that objective view we need so badly, and offering the personal affection and spiritual support we’ve missed so much. With all this love, we are not alone any more. Help is here when we need it.

Today please help me ask for help, and accept the help I receive with grace.

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~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~

Our lives teach us who we are.

~ Salman Rushdie ~

If someone were to ask you, “Who are you, without your job title?” or “What do you know about yourself?” or “What are the qualities that make up who you are?” such questions might be difficult to answer. What is within you is what your addiction has long suppressed. What is within you is what you need to discover, or rediscover, in working through Step Four.

You may not realize that you are filled with ideas and creativity. You have a depth of feelings. You are a store-house of memories. You have talents. You have experience. You are so much more than you could ever imagine. You have wisdom that goes beyond textbooks and degrees as well as strengths that have yet to be discovered.

To grow wiser means to know better who you are. That is the purpose of Step Four. When you immerse yourself in a searching and fearless moral inventory as part of your work in the program, you will discover things about yourself that you had not realized or have long suppressed. You will discover truths that you have long covered up with lies. And you will experience greater understanding about yourself in ways you never have before.

I am ready to find out who I am so I can discover who I can be.

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~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~

Keep watch over your ability and prudence, do not let them slip from sight. . . . Then you will go your way without a care, and your feet will not stumble. When you sit, you need have no fear; when you lie down, your sleep will be pleasant.

~ Proverbs ~

When we lose our confidence, it's easy for us to doubt if we're good at anything. Today may have been a day where nothing seemed to go right. It’s easy to blame ourselves for the people, places, and things that were out of our control.

As we look back over today, we may find we've blamed ourselves for things absolutely out of our control: another's anger, poor communication, or a general mix-up of everything. But just because things didn't work out perfectly doesn’t mean we’ve lost our God-given abilities and talents.

We have capabilities that make us special. Through the program, we're beginning to see we are good at many things. It's not fair to want to throw all those beautiful talents out the window whenever things go wrong - not fair to ourselves.

Tonight I can affirm that I have special talents and abilities. Can I list at least five of them?

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~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~

Changing our thinking

We have strong ideas. Sometimes, as hard as it is, we need to change our stubborn thinking. We’ve learned to accept the bad; now we must learn to accept the good without falling apart.

Our old reasons for certain actions are no longer valid. It’s not that our beliefs and actions have changed; it’s just that our reasons have changed.

Is my thinking changing?

Higher Power, help me to simply accept— without having to understand everything—if waiting to understand keeps me from working my program today.

Today I will examine my thinking about

God help me to stay clean and sober today!

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~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~

Relationships don't end; they change.

~ FRANCIS BRADY ~

Newcomer

There’s another newcomer I’ve been spending a lot of time with. We go to meetings together, go to coffee afterward. We talk on the phone. We’ve gone to some events outside the fellowship, too, and I’m starting to wonder if it’s okay to be getting this involved.

Sponsor

There’s nothing wrong with making new friends! It’s valuable to get to know some peers in recovery, people who got sober at about the same time that you did. Your peers are probably going through experiences similar to your own. Sharing together and offering mutual encouragement can connect you to the fellowship and create a sense of community that is there for you over time. As you grow in recovery, there’s nothing quite like knowing people who remember what you were like in the beginning and who have watched your progress as you have watched theirs.

If other issues related to this are coming up for you, you may need to take a further look. Each situation is different. If something feels “off,” you can trust your gut reaction. Is it really your choice to spend a lot of time together, or do you feel you have to say yes whenever someone “needs” you? Are you sending a message that you’re more available than you really are?

Or are you concerned that something romantic may be developing between you? It can seem wonderful, at first, to be in love and sharing a program of recovery. But a romantic relationship between two newcomers may keep both of you more involved with one another than with the program.

Today, I have a choice about the people I spend time with.
I am rich in support from friends who share the values and experiences of recovery.

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~ THE EYE OPENER ~

It is most discouraging to many of us to find, after many weary months of trying to work on our moral inventory and studied efforts to eliminate some of our worst character defects, that the more we do the more we find to do. It is not that we are not making progress but as we study ourselves from a coldly analytical viewpoint, we find more defects than we ever realized we possessed.

Do not become discouraged when this situation exists. It is very evident proof of progress that you have come to a conscious realization that these new defects exist and you are at least bringing them out in the open where you can get a crack at them.

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~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~

SOMEONE DOES CARE

I found God in the morning; we just sat and talked.
I kept Him near me, everywhere I walked.
I called on God at noontime, a heart filled with despair.
I felt His quiet presence; I knew He was there.
We met again at sunset, the warning of the day.
I had made Him happy; I had lived His way.
Then when at bedtime I knelt silently in prayer,
Again His gentle presence I felt. Someone does care.

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~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~

NO PRICE TOO GREAT

And if thy right eye offend thee, pluck it out, and cast it from thee: for it is profitable for thee that one of thy members should perish, and not that thy whole body should be cast into hell.

And if thy right hand offend thee, cut it off, and cast it from thee: for it is profitable for thee that one of thy members should perish, and not that thy whole body should be cast into hell (Matthew 5:29-30)

The soul’s integrity is the one and only thing that matters. And so Jesus insists that posively no sacrifice can be too great to insure the integrity of one’s soul. Anything that stand in the way of that, must be given up.

Whatever is standing between us and our true contact with God−a sin, an old grudge left unforgiven, stark greed for the things of this world−must go. Such things, however, are so obvious that at least the transgressor is aware of them; it is the subtle things like self-love, self-righteousness, and spiritual pride, that are most difficult for the self to exercise.

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~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~

Blaze Now

On the planes of hesitation lie the sun-bleached bones of untold millions, who while on the verge of victory stopped to wait; and while waiting died.

~ Anonymous ~

In the film Spies Like Us, Chevy Chase and Dan Aykroyd portray a couple of bumbling secret agents who come upon a Russian nuclear installation and inadvertently launch a missile that will lead to atomic devastation. Once the Americans and Russians at the site realize what has happened, Chase asks, “How much time do we have before the end?”

“About 45 minutes,” answers Aykroyd.

Chase looks at the woman he loves and suggests, “Then let’s go out in a blaze of glory!” His beloved smiles, and the two go off to light up the finale in high style. Then the others in the group look at each other and pair off to leave the world with a smile. At that moment, the notions of Russians and Americans, separate languages and nations, disappear. Ultimately, the missiles are recalled, and the end is averted, but not before the couples make love like there is no tomorrow.

Watching this scene, I wondered why we would wait until the end is near to make love. I am not suggesting that we indulge in licentious sex; I consider the scene a metaphor. Sometimes it is only when our life or livelihood is threatened that we give ourselves permission to express the love we deeply desire. Why put off your good? Follow your spirit now, and avoid the rush later.

Make a list of the things that you would love to do, but are waiting until the time is right. Now imagine that you have a month to live, and prioritize what you would do with your time. Then go out and do the things your heart desires. Your sense of joy and vitality will be so great that you will wonder why you ever waited, and you will add years of health and enthusiasm to your life. Don’t wait for the end of your world to be a meteor. Blaze now.

Give me the courage to live my dreams now.

I celebrate my heart's deepest desires by expressing them enthusiastically.