Even More Recovery Readings and Meditations - June

[bluidkiti]

June 1

Step by Step

"The spiritual life is not theory. We have to live it. Unless one's family expresses a desire to live upon spiritual principles, we think we ought not to urge them. We should not talk incessantly to them about spiritual matters. They will change in time. Our behavior will convince them more than our words." - Alcoholics Anonymous, 3rd Edition, 1976, Ch 6, p 83.

Today, if called on to 12th-Step a prospect, I will not hammer the spiritual aspect of recovery if the topic seems to push away rather than draw in the prospect. Should the prospect who is weary of spirituality subsequently embrace the program and find sobriety, the words "(Spiritual awareness) will change in time" will ring true. Paraphrasing the saying that I was born of the Spirit but was taught religion, let me understand that others, like me, also may tie the two together - religion and spirituality - but that the program will lead them to their own understanding of a higher power. Today, if spirituality cannot be discussed with a potential member, let my actions speak louder than my words. And our common journey continues. Step by step. - Chris M.

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~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~

TURN IT OVER

Freedom is not something that anybody can be given; freedom is something people take and people are as free as they want to be.

~ James Baldwin ~

Problems seem to be made of a thousand little Its: our family, our weight, our self-image, our job, our career, our relationships. These little Its become big Its as we magnify then. Our Its soon become dragons that devour us and chase us from place to place. The Its in our lives are always people, places, and things we cannot control. They are always outside us, and we let them attack us as enemies.

The Fellowship helps us see that usually Its are manifestations of us. Therefore, when It bothers us, It is just us bothering ourselves. When our It strikes out at us, It is us beating up on ourselves. When the Program tells us to turn It over, it quietly suggests that we give It to God. The fight has always been from within. The battle of will is one we always lose.

I always find a safe harbor when I turn It (my will, my problems, and my life) over to the care of my Higher Power.

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~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~

No matter what accomplishments you achieve, somebody helps you.

~ Althea Gibson ~

Some of us can get so full of ourselves when we win a race or get a raise that we think we did it all by ourselves. But the question is, what is really so good about the idea of doing it all by ourselves? Isn’t it just as good to achieve something great and give credit to all those who helped us? We live in a community of friends and neighbors; we are all part of a larger system that holds us up. We have teachers and mentors who help us on our way. We have doctors who help us keep our bodies healthy. We have loved ones who support us and give us more meaning in our lives.

During our active addiction, some of us were so invested in the idea of fierce individualism that we devalued anything that required help from others. That was a limited and immature way of seeing things. The paradox is that not until we could accept help could we gain the strength required for a better life.

Today I feel very proud of my accomplishments and very grateful for all the help I had in achieving them.

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~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~

Basically, I have two choices: either accept people and their behavior at face value, or remove myself from the situation. I cannot change other people, but I can control my behavior.

~ Lisa Keyes ~

Trying to control other people has been a long-term character defect for most of us. Becoming abstinent didn’t take away the seduction of control. Perhaps for some of us becoming abstinent even heightened the seduction. Minds no longer clouded by alcohol or other drugs see with greater clarity many more invitations to control.

At first glance, it seems unfortunate that becoming free of the obsession to use chemicals didn’t also free us of trying to control the people and events in our lives. But had that been the case, we would have relied less on our Higher Power for help to grow and change. And the greatest gift of this recovery program is learning that we have “One who is all powerful” to help us make decisions, to guide us every step of the way.

I will protect my serenity today by letting the people in my life take charge of themselves. If I begin to falter, my Higher Power will help me.

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~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~

I can take a time out

It's late. I'm tired and in a bad mood. I'm paying bills and I'm getting more and more irritated as I open them‒especially the statements from my psychiatrist, therapist, and health plan. I'm ready to fling the pen across the room.

I clench the pen in my fist, clench my teeth, raise my arm‒and stop. Suddenly I realize that I am angry‒and not so much at the bills, but at my dual disorder arid at the mistakes I've made. It's not easy taking responsibility for my actions and making a commitment to recovery. I think what I need to do right now is to take a break and sort through these strong emotions.

Today I will practice the slogan HALT: I will avoid getting too hungry, angry, lonely, or tired.

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~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~

There is a Secret One inside us; the planets in all the galaxies pass through His hands like beads.

~ Kabir ~

We’re often amazed by the wonders of nature. It’s hard to feel significant when we think of the vastness of the universe. How can our Higher Power remember each of us with all the planets, stars, and conditions of the world happening at once?

Then we realize we’re putting our own human limitations on our Higher Power. This is also a clever way our ego promotes us to the status of a Higher Power.

We need to let go and let God. We need to remember that we rest in His hands. Our significance is no more or less than anyone else. He is within us and we are within Him. All we need to do is follow His lead, and everything will be as it should. We will trust in His will and practice, “Thy will, not mine, be done.”

Today help me keep things in perspective. It will be refreshing to let my Higher Power manage the world.

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~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~

Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.

~ Step Six ~

A prayer is a humble and heartfelt communication with a power greater than yourself. A prayer can admit a weakness, communicate a need, or convey praise and gratitude. Prayers can unburden your heart, give you strength and courage, and deepen your faith and trust in a Higher Power. Use the following prayer as you work on your understanding and acceptance of Step Six.

Step Six Prayer Higher Power, I am ready to learn from your infinite wisdom so that, with your help, I can remove my defects of character. These defects have resulted in considerable discomfort and pain. They have prevented me from moving forward. They have kept me from knowing a better way of living and from becoming a better person.

Higher Power, I have looked deep within me. I have seen my defects. I confess these defects to you. I am ready for your help in removing these defects. I humbly pray for your guidance so I can release these defects and become a better person. I ask for your help so I will always be a seeker of truth and remedy in my life.

Higher Power, I am open to your guidance. I trust in you. Thank you for listening to my prayer.

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~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~

As the old man walked the beach at dawn, he noticed a young man ahead of him picking up starfish and flinging them into the sea. Finally catching up with the youth, he asked him why he was doing this. The answer was that the stranded starfish would die if left until the morning sun. "But the beach goes on for miles and there are millions of starfish," countered the other. "How can your effort make any difference?" The young man looked at the starfish in his hand and then threw it to safety in the waves. "It makes a difference to this one," he said.

~ Minnesota Literacy Council ~

Our efforts can make a difference. There will be many starfish on the paths we will travel and how we treat them will make a difference in our growth. The best resolution we can make tonight is to pay attention to the starfish we'll see. If we can reach out to all who need us, we will have made a difference to their lives and to ours.

My efforts can make a difference. I can take the first step toward making changes, taking risks, expressing feelings, and letting in the positive feelings of life.

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~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~

Practicing virtue

Love, justice, honesty, and patience are virtues, are ways to God. But even virtues can become defects if we misuse them. Love misused turns into possessiveness, justice into cold facts, honesty into brutal frankness, patience into irritable silence.

We need to know ourselves to understand what we’re doing and where we’re going. We need to look at ourselves to make sure that we have not misused our virtues and made them destructive. We must make sure we do not become self-righteous.

Do I practice virtue constructively?

Higher Power, help me not be so eager that my virtues turn into defects.

I will practice virtue humbly today by

God help me to stay clean and sober today!

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~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~

She who conceals her disease cannot expect to be cured.

~ ETHIOPIAN PROVERB ~

Newcomer

I finally took a formal Fifth Step. I’d been dreading it for a long time. It meant being honest in a way that I never had been before. I thought I wasn’t going to survive the experience with a shred of self-esteem. But I was wrong.

Sponsor

Congratulations on your courage. Self-esteem, as you’ve discovered, won’t come from concealing parts of ourselves we think will cause another person to reject us. When we hide in hope of receiving someone’s approval, we cheat ourselves twice: we lose the freedom of being ourselves, and we discover the emptiness of mere approval.

A formal Fifth Step is a rare opportunity to be entirely ourselves in front of another human being and not suffer ill consequences. There’s no wrong way to do it. In the company of someone whose recovery we respect and trust, we can safely reveal what we may not be ready to share even with a family member or an intimate friend. We won’t be judged.

We may instead be reminded that a complete inventory is not simply a catalog of shortcomings or of things we wish we’d done differently, but of assets as well.

Today, my self-trust allows me to reach out to others.

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~ THE EYE OPENER ~

Each of us has only so many hours to live and we alcoholics have wasted far too many of them in the past.

New men, by the thousands, are crowding our doors, searching for our Message of Hope. Those who are endeavouring to carry the Message are frequently pushed to the limit of their available time for this purpose.

Have you the right to monopolize the time of the Twelve Steppers by indulging yourself in so-called slips?

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~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~

SET ASIDE PRAYER

Lord, today help me set aside everything I think I know about You
Everything I think I know about myself
Everything I think I know about others and
Everything I think I know about my own recovery
For a new experience in myself
A new experience in my fellows and my own recovery.

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~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~

THE MIDDLE WALL OF PARTITION

For he is our peace, who hath made both one, and hath broken down the middle wall of partition between us (Ephesians 2:14).
This is not only one of the most beautiful texts in the Bible, but one of the most important. Consider what it says. First, that God is our peace; next, that not only are we and God one (all spiritual teachers say that) but that it is He who has made us one. We are one because that is the nature of being since He has made us that way. Then the inspired writer uses a figure of speech. He reminds us that when we lost our sense of unity with God, it is exactly as though a wall was built between God and ourselves. When that happens communication is broken and we are no longer one in consciousness, until, of course, the wall is pulled down.

In any difficulty the one important thing is to have the temporary wall of partition pulled down, and to let God do it−for only He can.

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~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~

Happily Even After

Use no relationship to hold you to the past, but with each one each day be born again.

~ A Course in Miracles ~

On Father's Day, my friend Danielle took her two former husbands out to dinner. "l wanted to honor the two most important men in my life," she told me. "They are the fathers of my children, and we are all related." I respected and honored Danielle for keeping her former mates in her heart and acknowledging the good they had brought into her life.

Most of us are taught that when a relationship is over, both parties go their ways upset; one is the villain and the other is a victim. But what if suffering is optional? What if we can create our partings in any way we choose? What if we don't have to separate in anger and guilt, but go on to enjoy a friendship that lasts a lifetime and beyond?

We can let go of our old models of isolation and separation and replace them with kindness, caring, intimacy, and support. Because we are spiritual beings, it is not what our bodies do that determines the quality of our lives, but the state of our spirit. Although our bodies may go in different directions, we can remain whole and joined in the heart. The end of a marriage or relationship does not mean the end of love. True love spans far beyond the boundaries we have laid over it, and it does not die; it simply goes on gathering force until everyone and everything we look upon is blessed by our appreciation of each other as gifts from God.

I pray to honor the people in my life no matter what the voice of fear tells me. I will give love no matter what.

My relationships reflect the love of God.

[bluidkiti]

June 2

Step by Step

"There may be some wrongs we can never fully right. We don't worry about them if we can honestly say to ourselves that we would right them if we could. Some people cannot be seen - we send them an honest letter. And there may be a valid reason for postponement in some cases. But we don't delay if it can be avoided. ...As God's people, we stand on our feet; we don't crawl before anyone." -Alcoholics Anonymous, 3rd Edition, 1976, Ch 6, p 83.

Today, do not take for granted the weight of Step Nine when considering to whom we must - and can - approach with amends. Some wrongs may never be made right, and there may be no recourse if making an amend only to clear our conscience risks further injury or implicates an unknowing other person. In cases in which we can honestly conclude that direct amends are not possible, our actions rather than our words may be our only atonement, and our strongest action is to get and stay sober and continue to grow in recovery. When we can and must make amends, however, we are cautioned not to "crawl before anyone," not to submit to being the proverbial doormat. In drunkenness, we lost our footing which, in turn, triggered the damage we inflicted; in sobriety, we must stand on our own feet to give integrity to our amends. And our common journey continues. Step by step. - Chris M.

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~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~

PROCRASTINATION

Procrastination is the thief of time.

~ Edward Young ~

The habit of putting off actions "until things get better" is one the most destructive detours from common sense we can make. Delays never make problems "go away"; they only make success harder to attain. If we shy away from "bringing out" our problems to others, we are sure to cause stress and misunderstanding.

Quite often, postponing facing up to reality results from fear that others will laugh at us. That is self-pity in action. Solutions come from direct and specific action. We always remember that others in our group give us "the right to be wrong," knowing that a change in direction is always possible for anyone with problems. Procrastination wastes precious time.

When I procrastinate about solving problems, I am only making sure they will get worse. Let me remember that solutions come from taking action.

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~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~

Always and never are two words you should always remember never to use.

~ Wendell Johnson ~

Words are powerful. We have a way of thinking in terms of all or nothing, black or white, and seldom in shades of gray. If we like something, we want more and more of it. If we take on a project, we throw ourselves into it with all we’ve got. But the truth is, life is mostly somewhere between extremes. If a little of something is good, more is not necessarily better. When we have a bad day, it doesn’t mean that our whole life is a mess.

If we say, “You always ...” or “You never...” to a friend or loved one, the discussion is sure to intensify. If we use those words in conflict, the other person is sure to feel misunderstood. Always and never are extreme words that are rarely accurate. We are learning to live life in moderation and to think and see life more honestly.

Today I will remember to see the shades of gray, rather than the extremes of black and white.

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~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~

To not have control over the events that shape our lives is difficult. To not trust that Someone greater than me is shaping those events is unbearable.

~ Mary Larson ~

There is probably no greater frustration, particularly for us recovering addicts, than the realization that we can’t control the events and the people in our lives. The insanity is that we try to control everything anyway!

The sooner we come to understand that being in control only of ourselves is one of God’s gifts, the more peacefully we will live. What a terrible burden we’ve been shouldering all these years trying to do God’s work as well as our own. Not having to be responsible for the successes or the failures of everyone in our lives gives us hours of freedom to explore new horizons.

Coming to believe in a loving God may take practice. Yet the work is well worth our efforts. When the uncontrollable begins to frighten us, we can find relief in the knowledge that God will take care of us.

I will let my Higher Power handle other people today. I will attend to my own business and know many moments of peace.

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~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~

I truly feel accepted at a meeting

While they have been supportive, I am sure my family members are weary of dealing with my emotional problems. My colleagues, though they know little, are suspicious, and I'm not surprised that they object to my moodiness, irritability, and frequent absences. But at my meeting, it's altogether a different story.

I notice it as I walk into the room. I see friendly and familiar faces. I see people I am learning to trust, even though l don't know them well. It feels wonderful. I relax and breathe deeper. I think more clearly, even though some thoughts are painful. I look forward to going back each week, and I sense that my fellow members want me to come back, too.

Just as I’ve been welcomed and accepted, I will do service for my group and welcome newcomers.

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~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~

Passion is a noisy thing — love lives quietly.

~ Lee M. Silverstein ~

Active addiction made our lives a series of jealous, angry rages followed by passionate appeals for forgiveness. We may even have grown to embrace pain like a lover, stroking our ever-present guilt. This was our life when it was empty of love. Our capacity for love, to give and receive, became misguided. Our drug of choice insisted on sole devotion, and repaid us with despair.

Sober love offers and requires appreciation and understanding; it allows us to step back a little and watch another’s growth; it gives us hope both within and beyond ourselves. Sober love is not so much a feeling as a series of loving acts, chosen freely. It is not ownership of another, but support for another’s freedom.

Today let me free myself and others to love without fear.

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~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~

Golf without bunkers and hazards would be tame and monotonous. So would life.

~ B.C. Forbes ~

What would life be like if every relationship was perfect and every day was filled with great satisfaction and went according to plan? A stress-free life would be like playing a golf course free from sand traps, trees, and difficult holes. While you might enjoy the ease of play, you would not learn how to make the tough shots.

There is no such thing as a life—or even a day— without some stress. Each day offers different variables— weather conditions, traffic volume, miscommunications, and malfunctions. Similarly, you feel different each day— some days you may be more tired or more energized than others. The most you can reasonably expect on any given day is the unexpected.

Instead of longing for today to be stress-free, begin your day as an eager student seeking answers: “What can I learn today? How can I grow? What will I be given that will test my knowledge and skills?” When you see each day as an opportunity for growth, you will be more capable of going with the flow and learning what you are capable of when you are put to the test.

Today might be a hole-in-one day, or it might be filled with many hazards. I will let the day unfold and learn from every experience I am given.

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~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~

You're only human, you're supposed to make mistakes.

~ Billy Joel ~

Are we determined faultfinders? It may be easy for us to point fingers at others or to cite instances of wrongdoing. It may also be easy for us to misinterpret another's actions, twist words, or make something seem totally opposite to the truth.

Everyone makes mistakes, including us. But somewhere along the path of our growth, we learned we could defend ourselves if we were judge and jury. So we took a defensive stance, clinging to our battle stations as we weathered school, family, relationships, and careers.

We don't have to be so ready to make ourselves blameless and faultless. We can disband our courts of law at any time. But when we do, we will be admitting to ourselves and the people in our lives that we are only human. When we, too, can see ourselves as human, we'll no longer look at life as a battlefield, but as a classroom where everyone is both teacher and student.

I can see myself as human and accept that no human being is blameless.

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~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~

Understanding

Absolute statements are almost always wrong: All blacks are this-, all whites are that, all men are this; all women are that, all addicts are (whatever). But here’s a statement that holds up under examination: We are all stumbling human beings.

Therefore, we all need to become as understanding as we can, for without understanding, we do not grant others their right to be “human.”

Do I overlook the shortcomings of others?

Higher Power, help me keep in mind that every woman is my sister and every man my brother.

I will be more accepting of my fellows today by

God help me to stay clean and sober today!

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~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~

Today I have grown taller from walking with the trees.

~ KARLE WILSON BAKER ~

Newcomer

The person who listened to my Fifth Step was tuned in to just how frightened I was. He said, “You think I have a poor opinion of you for what you’ve shared, don’t you?” And he was right: I was full of shame.

I know that not everyone who hears Step Five works this way, but what he did really helped. He shared events from his life prior to recovery that matched what I’d told him. What he’d done in his past wasn’t identical, but it was equally destructive. There was much more to him under the surface than I’d guessed.

To say I was relieved was an understatement. He didn’t judge me; he didn’t judge himself. I feel as if my entire life changed in the process of sharing this Step.

Sponsor

I can rejoice with you because I, too, have experienced the freedom that comes from knowing I’m no longer alone with my secrets. I’d been judge and jury for so many years. I never thought to give myself the compassion or forgiveness that I felt for other people. Though my sponsor didn’t get into the details of her own history when she listened to my Fifth Step, she made it clear that my story was no worse—and no better—than others she’d heard. Nothing seemed to shock her or put her off—not even my worst. I thought, “So this is what it means to be human.”

Today, I’m a member of the human family.

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~ THE EYE OPENER ~

We come into AA and are told that we should endeavour to establish a conscious contact with our God as we understand Him; that we should, through prayer and meditation, get on speaking terms with Him. We brushed up on our rusty salutations of “Almighty” and practiced on our Thees and Thous only to learn that there was a simpler and more direct approach.

We found that we could “tune God in” to our hearts and consciences and that no other method was needed to send and receive messages. We learned that what we said was of no great consequence anyways, as our prayers were for His will, not ours, and we also learned that we had to make no direct request for those things that were for our good, as He knew our needs before we ever realized them ourselves.

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~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~

USEFULNESS PRAYER

God help me today to find balance
Between my character defects and the
Principles of our Program
So as, to be useful
To myself, all others, and You,
The God of my understanding.

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~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~

YOUR DAILY VISIT WITH GOD

We all know that it is God alone who is our peace−although nearly all of us tend to forget it from time to time. We forget it when we begin to neglect our daily visit with God.

Now, when you think that you are too busy for your daily visit, let me ask you frankly, what wonderful thing are you doing that is more important? There is nothing that you could possibly do with that time that would bring you greater benefit than perfect peace. As a matter of fact, if you have something very important and urgent to do, your visit will make that very important thing go through much more easily and successfully.

Acquaint now thyself with him, and be at peace. . . (Job 22:21).

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~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~

Buddha on Board

Take care of you.

~ advice given to Julia Roberts character in Pretty Woman ~

Years ago, little yellow "Baby on Board" signs began showing up on rear windows of cars. The message meant that other drivers should be especially careful to avoid an accident with an auto containing an infant. A good idea, to be sure. But does this mean that we can be less careful to avoid colliding with a car containing an adult?

We all have a baby on board wherever we go. No matter what our age or status in life, we carry a fragile inner child in our bosom. That child requires tender care and protection, and we must do everything we can to keep it from being injured

Before a seminar I conducted, I asked each participant to send me a baby picture. I had these photos enlarged as transferred to T-shirts. The first night of the program, I gave out the shirts and told every- one, "In case you become angry at someone, look at that person's T-shirt. Imagine that you are dealing with a sensitive child rather than an armored adult. Speak to that child with patience and kindness.” The group loved the exercise, the program was a huge success, and everyone took their T-shirts home. I still wear mine when I want to remember my inner child.

You not only carry an inner child within you, but an inner Christ, Buddha, and any saint or angel you can imagine. These inner divine beings are much closer to your true identity than the person you usually identify with. Honor the Buddha on Board, and your outer life will reflect the respect you deserve.

I pray to treat myself and others with the gentle respect we truly merit.

God lives within me as me. I honor the light I am.

[bluidkiti]

June 3

Step by Step

Today, gratitude and humility if my sobriety totals week, months and even years and understanding that I am no more sober than the alcoholic whose last drink was yesterday. Grant me the wisdom to be open to the lessons that I still have to learn in my own recovery and that some of those lessons can come from the alcoholic whose sobriety does not match mine in length of time. I must learn from the experience of the past that I am no more "cured" and just as much at risk of relapse as the newcomer or slipper who continues to struggle. I must also acknowledge the responsibility that the length of my sobriety exacts, namely to share with someone else what has or has not worked for me in hope that my own experience, strength and hope might speak to someone else. Today, I am sober only in the current 24 Hours, and I accept the responsibility that I have to my recovery. And our common journey continues. Step by step. - Chris M.

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~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~

EXPECTATIONS

Stop expecting too much from yourself.

~ Anonymous ~

When there is too wide a gap between standards we set for ourselves and our actual achievement, unhappiness follows. If we can’t improve the performance, we should lower the demands. When we are true to ourselves, we come to expect only that which we are capable of doing. As we grow each day in recovery, we are able to do more.

What we expect from ourselves can change the next day. It is very important that through our meetings and conversations with fellow members, we keep close tabs on our development. We find out that life is for living, and it is better lived when we do our assignments every day.

We are really never given more than we can do. As long as we have realistic goals, we will be given what we need to succeed.

Today I'll remember that when my expectations are too high, I get stuck and down on myself.

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~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~

Man’s heart away from nature becomes hard.

~ Standing Bear ~

The wisdom of Native American spirituality is deeply centered on the natural world. It teaches us to respect the earth and all natural things. It teaches us, as many world religions do, that we are made of earth and live by the gifts of nature. The word humility comes from the word humus, meaning “of the earth.” When we become alienated or too far removed from nature, we become disconnected from ourselves. We lose our place and become willful.

Humility is not the same as shame. Humility is self- respecting and it expresses that we have a place in the entire web of life. One aspect of a spiritual life is the feeling of awe. Where better to return to the feeling of awe than in sight of a massive mountain, the sea, a powerful storm, or the intricate details of a flower or a stone.

Today I will return to the natural world around me, and with awe, I will give thanks.

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~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~

I think it must have been at home, while I was a small child, that I got the idea the chief end of woman was to make clothing for mankind.

~ Lucy Larcom ~

We define ourselves within the context of our lives. We may be single, married, divorced, or widowed. We may be career women, we may be home-makers. We may be in school or even retired. Our roles are multiple, but one trait we share is the desire to live free of mood-altering chemicals.

Our Twelve Step program allows us many opportunities to define ourselves. Drawing on the support of women who care about us and the guidance of our always-present Higher Power, we can redefine ourselves. We don’t have to fulfill another’s expectations of us. Recovery is our opportunity to follow our own path. Following our passions while listening to the wisdom within is true self-definition.

I live with others. What they want of me may not be my Higher Power’s choice for me. I will listen to the voice within me today.

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~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~

I am becoming willing to ask for help

I feel so anxious, I'm pacing. I feel panicky. (Drinking used to help, but I am sober now.) I'm afraid that if I sit down, I'll become paralyzed. I'm not sure I can call for help. Would anybody understand? Could anybody really help?

And yet I don't think I can handle all this on my own anymore. I don't think I should try to manage this alone anymore. I'm tired of this fear and isolation. I feel desperate‒like I did just before I stopped using. Perhaps‒perhaps I can reach out for help. I did it once before, for my addiction. Maybe I can do it again.

I will now pick up the phone and dial the number of a trusted friend.

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~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~

The process of growing in detachment allows the entire Twelve Step program to flow.

~ Betty Reddy and Orv McElfresh ~

Just as addiction affects the whole family, so does recovery. The principles we learn often improve many aspects of family life: we are more open, more calm, more honest, more eager to share, and more ready to listen.

But some family members may be resistant to recovery in any form. We have found the best way to respond is by detaching with love. We must protect our own recovery, and not try to change others.

Families can be a source of strength. If we do our own part, and learn to detach with love, we give others a chance to see firsthand the joys of recovery. Detachment with love is a beautiful tool when others choose not to support our recovery. We can keep growing and avoid getting tangled up in the resentments of others.

Today help me remember that what is true for me might not be true for someone else. Help me practice recovery principles in all my affairs.

**************************************************

~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~

In the old days, if a person missed the stagecoach he was content to wait a day or two for the next one. Nowadays, we feel frustrated if we miss one section of a revolving door.

~ Modern Maturity ~

The pace of life is faster than ever. New technologies facilitate round-the-clock manufacturing. Courtship has been upended by online matchmaking sites. E-mails, texting, and instant messaging have replaced the enjoyment of long phone conversations.

This sense of time urgency can spill over into your recovery, making it seem as if it is moving at a snail’s pace. You may arrive at a meeting late and only half-listen to what others are saying as you keep one eye on the clock and the other on your text messages. You may put off reading the Big Book because you believe you do not have the time.

While a speedy recovery is sought for poor health, having a need for speed in recovery from your addiction will not help you get better faster. In fact, the deliberate day- by-day pace of recovery imparts a valuable lesson: take time in all that you do for a greater appreciation of the efforts you make and of what those efforts help you to achieve.

Today I will break out of the whirlwind of doing. Rather than operate in a perpetually frantic mode, I will take the time to appreciate and notice what I am doing.

**************************************************

~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~

The ebb and flow of will is like the movements of the tides. . . .If we cease our vain struggles and lamentations long enough to look away from the personal self . . . we realize life is going well with us after all.

~ Charles B. Newcomb ~

Everything in nature changes. We can trust the sun and moon will rise and set, the tide will ebb and flow, and the seasons will change. Because we can trust these things to happen, we can learn to trust the fact that extremes in nature are normal.

So it is with people. We laugh and cry, work and play, we are young and we grow old. There will be extremes with us, just as there are in nature. And as nature finds its natural flow even after the worst disasters, so can we find our natural flow.

There is a rhythm in life that leads us to awaken and one that guides us to sleep. Tonight our natural rhythm will lead us to peace and relaxation. If we can flow with that rhythm, we'll give the quiet calmness a chance to revitalize us for tomorrow. Now is the time to follow nature's rhythm and sleep in peace.

Can I rest tonight in quietness of mind, soul, and body and trust I will find my natural flow?

**************************************************

~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~

Accepting ourselves

Many of us used to think that our Higher Power hates this or that about us or about others, but our Higher Power doesn’t hate at all. Our Higher Power accepts us and loves us no matter how we have lived. It understands that we are capable of changing.

This is the only way we come to know God, even as we begin to accept ourselves and others. The ability to accept ourselves more and more is a gift from God. It comes as we build upon the strong, valuable parts of ourselves.

Am I learning to accept myself?

Higher Power, help me believe in your acceptance, forgiveness, and generosity; help me to be willing to see myself in a new way.

Today I will work on self-acceptance by

God help me to stay clean and sober today!

**************************************************

~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~

Dangers foreseen are the sooner prevented.

~ RICHARD FRANCK ~

Newcomer

Lately I keep feeling pulled by thoughts of a minor habit, something that was never important to me before. I keep thinking, “Where’s the harm? It’s not what brought me in here. It’s not going to kill me.”

Sponsor

In recovery, we may still hold on to the belief that something outside ourselves will fix us. We may have quit alcohol, marijuana, heroin, or compulsive gambling, but may think that pints of ice cream or hours of television pose no problem for us. Or perhaps we’ve stopped overeating compulsively and find ourselves craving a drink or a cigarette when we’re under stress.

We’re vulnerable to potentially addictive habits, and we may need to pay attention to our attraction to substances or activities that others can take or leave. Our use of anything compulsively may get worse; it may turn into a new dependency or even make us less careful about treating our primary addiction.

If we’re having questions about a particular substance or behavior, we can ask ourselves why we want to use it. Are there feelings, positive or negative, that we’re uncomfortable with? Are there things we have to do that we’re avoiding? At times like this, it can be helpful to increase the number of meetings we’re attending. Talking about our concerns with a sponsor or another person whose recovery we trust may also help take some of the pressure off.

Today, I stay connected to my feelings.

**************************************************

~ THE EYE OPENER ~

The harvest is great and the laborers are too few. Too often we get a new man, we work diligently on him, get him to a meeting or two and then another new man appears and we drop the first one and frequently never see him again.

This is not to imply that we are to carry him on our backs indefinitely, but we can utilize an occasional spare ten minutes to call him on the phone. We can keep our eyes open for him at the meetings and if he misses several in succession, we can look him up.

Remember you were the midwife at his rebirth in this new life and you should not neglect him in his AA infancy.

**************************************************

~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~

PRAYER DURING TURMOIL

Dear Higher Power,
During times when my world becomes unhinged
And the foundations of what I believe crack and dissolve,
Give me the grace to believe that Your power is at work in the turmoil of my life.
Lead me to remember that Your power is greater than all evil,
And though the world may rock and sometimes break,
It will in time be transformed by Your Love.

*************************************************

~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~

WHAT IS YOUR ACT!

People are to be judged by their actions. We sometimes hear it said, "His conduct is bad but at heart he means well"; but this is nonsense. In the old-fashioned phrase, "handsome is as handsome does."

The bad tempered person cannot possibly have "a heart of gold" as is sometimes charitably said. A bad tempered person has a mean, selfish heart and should get busy and change it without delay.

One who loves does not seek his own advantage. Love acts the part, and anything else is hypocrisy.

. . . be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another,
even as God for Christ's sake hath forgiven you (Ephesians 4:32).

**************************************************

~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~

The Unaffordable Budget

In my defenselessness my safety lies.

~ A Course in Miracles ~

On the Star Trek television series, the crew of Starship Enterprise regularly faced a tough dilemma. While holding up their force-field shields to ward off an attack, the ship would lose power to do anything else. Engineer Scotty would report to Captain Kirk, "Our shields are draining our energy. If we are going to make a move of any kind, we are going to have to drop them." The crew would then have to come up with some ingenious plan to triumph, and they always did.

Any energy we invest in defense robs us of creativity and diminishes our ability to move forward. Our country spends a billion dollars a day on our war machine; imagine the service that money could generate if it were invested in education, social medicine, the arts, housing, and human services. How much is defense worth?

On a personal level, the more energy we spend in hiding, the less alive and creative we are. Any game that requires defense does not befit the son or daughter of God that you are. Consider bringing your hidden self into the light, and you will liberate the riches of your soul. You might think that if people knew who you really are, you would be crucified; but if you knew who you really are, you would be exalted.

Show me how to live in the light. I do not want to hide anymore. Help me trust that my true strength lies in authenticity.

I am as God created me. I renounce fear and regain my soul.

[bluidkiti]

June 4

Step by Step

"We have been dealing with alcohol in its worst aspect. But we aren't a glum lot. If newcomers could see no joy or fun in our existence, they wouldn't want it. We absolutely insist on enjoying life. We try not to indulge in cynicism over the state of the nations, nor do we carry the world's troubles on our shoulders ...(T)hose of us who have tried to shoulder the entire burden and trouble of others find we are soon overcome by them." - Alcoholics Anonymous, 3rd Edition, 1976, Ch 9, p 132.

Today, if in service work I take on others' addictions and recovery, let me remember that the lifeline of AA is tossed to us by another person but it is we as individuals who grabbed it. And if I should be the 12th-Stepper who throws out the lifeline, let me accept that it is not within my control to make the other person grab it. Likewise, let me not be tinged with cynicism or hopelessness of the state of the world because it, like the power of alcohol, is something I cannot control. Today, if the message I carry falls on deaf ears, I will not feel like a failure and, likewise, I will not bolster my ego by claiming "success" if the message is heard. And our common journey continues. Step by step. - Chris M.

**************************************************

~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~

THE VALUE OF TIME

Remember, the pursuit of happiness is futile. Happiness, peace of mind, and serenity are the results of the way YOU think God would have you live.

~ Anonymous ~

Relaxation and recreation are important to us all. Rest and entertainment prepare us for the challenges of life by giving us new energy and purpose.

During our sharing, we can all learn to use time well by preparing for the future. Of course, living in the now as well as we can, one day at a time, is our main concern.

A story goes that a carpenter was asked why he was repairing a judge's bench chair with extra care, and he replied, "Because I want it comfortable when I sit in it myself." And he actually did earn that honor some years later! Setting realistic goals now is using time well by preparing for the future.

If I didn't plan for the needs of my future, it would be like not planting seeds to build tomorrow's forests.

**************************************************

~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~

When it comes to staying young, a mind lift heats a face-lift any day.

~ Marty Bucella ~

We can choose to focus our attention on the image we present to others, or to focus on who we are on the inside. When we feel inadequate or empty, it may never occur to us to do something about how we feel about ourselves. Instead, we may have learned to try to control how others see us—as if that were the path to self-esteem. In our recovery, we learn that the basis of true self-esteem is to have values and follow them. No matter how successful a man becomes economically, no matter how many achievements he can point to in the world, it is never enough until he feels right about himself as a person.

We can be grateful for a program that points the way toward genuine success: true self-respect and self-acceptance. That doesn’t mean we never regret something we have done; it means we make distinctions between who we are and what we have done. When we have values and follow them, sometimes we fall short of our own standards. Then we admit our shortcomings and repair them. In so doing, our inner self-acceptance is maintained and we once again affirm who we are.

Today I am more concerned about the man I am than about the image I show to others.

**************************************************

~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~

We’re all recovering, all the time, from something; we’re growing out of the old and into the new.

~ Jan Lloyd ~

We are in a constant state of change. With each passing moment we are gathering new insights, collecting new experiences, defining new perspectives. Even when it feels as if our friends are passing us by, we can take comfort in knowing that we are not standing still.

The rate of growth is different for each of us. It depends on how quickly we assimilate the growth experiences and specific information our Higher Power wills for us. The more we struggle against the closing of a familiar passageway and the opening of a new door, the more our pace is hindered. We can quicken the pace by trusting that we are always given exactly what our Higher Power has in mind for our next stage of living.

Each day’s experiences are part of the trip that God has planned for us. We will never be in danger as long as we trust the spiritual guidance that speaks to us in the quiet places of our minds.

I am in safe hands. I can leave the old behind and trust the growth experiences I will receive today.

**************************************************

~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~

I am OK

I feel ashamed and small at times: stereotypes are hard to fight. Some people think that everyone with a mental health problem behaves bizarrely, looks odd, or is stuck in a hospital.

But it's not true. I have a mental health problem and I am in recovery. I hold a steady job, provide for my family, and I look like most of the other fathers on my block (except for the ones with more hair!) I believe that I am more like everyone else than I am different. And what's more important is that no matter what anyone else says (or thinks), I am OK.

I will list two ways that I am like everyone else or two ways that I am OK.

*************************************************

~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~

Listen, my friend, there is one thing in the world that satisfies, and that is a meeting with the Higher Power.

~ Kabir ~

How we choose to start a day will set the tone for the rest of the day. Will we make time to take care of all our needs today? It’s important to eat a healthy breakfast and exercise a little each day. Our bodies feel refreshed by a hot shower or a comforting soak in the bath. Our bodies need rest. Sometimes we need a good night’s sleep, other times just a nap. In this way we care for and nurture our physical selves. Are we also tuned to our spiritual needs? Do we make time to stop and visit with our Higher Power on a daily basis? Too often, we ignore our spiritual needs and our souls go hungry. A daily meeting with our Higher Power is as important to our spiritual health and growth as a meal is to our bodies.

This spiritual time we set aside each day offers our souls the opportunity to quench the thirst and satisfy the hunger for spiritual food and drink.

Today let me care for all my needs. Help me to respect my body as well as my soul.

**************************************************

~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~

So I close in saying that I might have had a bad break, but I have an awful lot to live for.

~ Lou Gehrig ~

While much about Lou Gehrig’s battle with amyotrophic lateral sclerosis was kept out of the public eye, today we know the debilitating effects of the illness that robbed him of his career in professional baseball. We understand more clearly how the disease creates a powerless person inside of an ever-weakening body.

Even Gehrig’s patience, strong will, and positive attitude could not cure him of his illness. Each day his body broke down a little more and made even the simplest of actions extremely difficult to perform. Yet he coped with pride and dignity, and drew strength from those who cared about him. In his farewell speech before thousands of fans, he proclaimed a statement that, even today, has the power to both humble and awe: “I consider myself the luckiest man on the face of this earth.”

Will you do the work in recovery that you need to do with pride and dignity, or will you have a defeatist attitude? Will you triumph over your addiction, or will you let your addiction get the better of you?

Today I will remember that there are others who face greater challenges and hardships, and they do so with a positive attitude.

**************************************************

~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~

In three words, I can sum up everything I've learned about life: It goes on.

~ Robert Frost ~

If we've ever dug in a garden and unearthed an ants’ nest, we can recall their first reaction to our unintended destruction: they do everything possible to save their lives and supplies. The ants scurry around, moving the larvae to an underground room. Exposed contents are then relocated to unseen passages. In a matter of minutes, the ants are again safely underground and ready to resume their daily routines.

How do we react when some catastrophe or unplanned event occurs? Do we want to crawl under a rock or are we as resilient as the ants? Instead of moaning over postponed plans or the loss of something in our lives, we can try to be like the ants and learn how to best work with circumstances that come our way.

Life doesn't stop for us to lick wounds or add fuel to grievances. Hours pass, we grow older, nature continues. Every event is part of life's cycle. We can't run away from anything. We must meet life head-on and adjust to its ebb and flow.

I can look at an unplanned event in my life as part of lie's cycle. I need to trust that life will go on.

**************************************************

~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~

Telling tales

We have such egos. Even when we talk about our troubled past, it often sounds as though we’re bragging. We seem to take pride in how we used drugs, how much and how often we used them. We build up our stories and often try to top the other guy’s drug-alogue. It seems we’re saying, “See how good I am! I don’t do those things anymore.”

But now that we’re in recovery, now that we have a choice in our behavior, trying to impress others with our past doesn’t show serene, spiritual people—it shows insecure, egocentric braggarts.

Am I a storyteller?

Lord, help me avoid glorifying my story to impress myself and others.

To keep my story straight today I will

God help me to stay clean and sober today!

**************************************************

~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~

You’ve no idea what a poor opinion I have of myself, and how little I deserve it.

~ W. S. GILBERT ~

Newcomer

I’ve been invited to speak at a meeting. It’s not one I usually go to; it’s out of my neighborhood, in an area where I’m pretty sure many people have had far worse experiences than mine. I’m afraid that they won’t take me seriously, and I’m nervous.

Sponsor

Let’s assume that most of the people in the room sincerely want recovery. Like you, they’ve learned that it’s better to identify than to compare. They’ll be listening for feelings similar to the ones they had when they were active in their addictions; they’ll be listening for the miracle—the choice of recovery over addiction—and for the dignity and self-esteem of a sober life. Like you, many of them will listen for one thing to take away that is useful in their recovery. There’s no way we can know ahead of time what will strike one of our listeners as helpful. And if what you say doesn’t keep anyone sober but yourself, that’s one life saved.

The more willing we are to set ego considerations aside, the more room there is for our Higher Power to flow through us and others.

Today, I pray to be useful.

**************************************************

~ THE EYE OPENER ~

A split second separates the past, the present and the future. The course of history has been altered in a moment of decision on the part of one man. Inventions that have revolutionized our mode of living may have taken years to perfect but the idea behind them was born in a flash of thought between the ticks of a clock.

In that great day when you determined that you had had enough, that you were whipped, the resolve took but a fraction of a second, but in that instant you closed your past and opened your future.

A moment of thoughtlessness can put you back in the past again.

**************************************************

~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~

NEXT RIGHT STEP

God, please show me all through this day,
What is the next right step.
Give me the strength, faith, and courage
I need to take care of the problems in my life.
Show me the solutions, for I will take the
Next right actions. And, I ask to be free
From self-will and fear. Your will, not mine,
Be done. Amen.

*************************************************

~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~

SEEKING AND FINDING

People are very apt to find what they seek. You have noticed that people who go about looking for trouble, practically always find it. The popular proverb, "Listeners seldom hear good of themselves," is an example. We also know people who love to say that they never have any luck. When things seem to go against them, they exclaim triumphantly, “Wouldn't you know it? −that is what always happens to me!"

Now, such a mistaken person needs only to alter this habit and he will automatically alter his life. It is often difficult to get such people to make this alteration, but if they do the result is never in doubt. Spiritual law says that it is never too late to mend, and that when we seek God's help we find it.

Look unto me, and be ye saved, all the ends of the earth; far I am God, and there is no one else (lsaiah 45:22 ).

**************************************************

~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~

Get a Job

Thank God every morning when you get up that you have something to do that day which must be done. Being forced to work, and forced to do your best, will breed in you temperance and self-control, diligence and strength of will, cheerfulness and content, and a hundred virtues which the idle never know.

~ Charles Kingsley ~

My friend Stanley seemed to live an enviable life. At a young age, he inherited a fortune from his father, and subsequently never held a real job. Stanley spent most of his time traveling, visiting friends, and dabbling in various projects for fun. As I got to know Stanley, I noticed that he made poor choices in managing his life and his money. He was easily influenced, and he was a bad judge if character. When I discussed Stanley with my counselor, she noted dryly, "He needs a job."

A life that is too comfortable and cushy may weaken us. While there is nothing wrong with having a lot of money, and we are certainly not required to slave at an occupation we hate, there is a value in engaging in work that teaches us to manage our resources wisely and learn the importance of right service, activity, and integrity. Dealing in the marketplace moves us to stretch and enter into situations that challenge us to see and tell more truth, communicate, and grow.

After years of intensive traveling, lecturing, and dealing in the business world, my spirit needed a rest, and I took a sabbatical from work for a year. I spent the first month of my retreat doing nothing, thinking to myself, "This is the life! I am never going back to work again!" As the months went by, I felt more and more healed, and by the time the year was over, I was ready and enthusiastic to return to activity. I needed the rest, but I also needed the stimulation.

Work is not a bad thing; it builds muscles and opens doors that we would not access on our own. Right livelihood brings forth the greatness inherent in our soul and assists us to fulfill our purpose as creative beings.

I pray to put my strengths and talents to their best use, that I may serve and grow.

My work is a joyful and productive expression of my inner spirit.

[bluidkiti]

June 5

Step by Step

"A body badly burned by alcohol does not often recover overnight nor do twisted thinking and depression vanish in a twinkling. We are convinced that a spiritual mode of living is a most powerful health restorative." - Alcoholics Anonymous, 3rd Edition, 1976, Ch 9, p 133.

Today, patience to recover and overcome the years of physical, emotional and spiritual abuse to which I subjected my entire being with alcohol. The promise of a spiritual remedy we need - if we apply it honestly and diligently - will restore us to some level of physical, emotional and spiritual wellness and sanity. In my impatience that is bred of my addiction, let me remember that I am, by nature, hungry for everything now but that not even my impatience can rush the speed of recovery. Today, I take it One Day at a Time. And our common journey continues. Step by step. - Chris M.

**************************************************

~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~

FORGIVENESS

Never does the human soul appear so strong as when it foregoes revenge and dares forgive an injury.

~ E.H. Chapin ~

Unless we can freely forgive others, we will never be able to forgive ourselves. The Freedom to give ourselves a second (or third, or fourth) chance to right a wrong or perform a helpful act opens the way to spiritual growth.
Unqualified forgiveness, both for others and for ourselves, keeps.us from being overcome by guilt or shame over not being kind to ourselves and those around us. Forgiveness is a first step in making emotional progress; all succeeding steps become easier.

My sponsor told me to imagine climbing a beautiful hill and sitting in the sunlight, then to imagine my enemy climbing the same hill and sitting with me. Then I was to leave my enemy in the sunlight while I walked down the hill. This, my sponsor said, was forgiveness.

**************************************************

~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~

Wisdom doesn’t necessarily come with age. Sometimes age just shows up all by itself.

~ Tom Wilson ~

If we live long enough, we will grow old. During that time we will make plenty of mistakes and have plenty of opportunities to learn from them. However, sometimes we refuse to accept the lessons that are wrapped in our experience. We may be so determined to have what we want that we deny the truth of what we can actually have. We may be so prideful or so stubborn or so insecure that we defy the lessons we are being taught and refuse to open ourselves to a new idea. We grow older, but not smarter.

Some men become very grown-up and very strong in wisdom at a young age. They are blessed with an open, engaging attitude and a willingness to surrender to truth when it faces them. We should cultivate an attitude of learning, of openness to new lessons, and of willingness to learn the lessons taught by our mistakes.

Today I will learn from my experience and become a little stronger and a little wiser.

**************************************************

~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~

I empower myself when I choose not to be a victim anymore.

~ Kathy Kendall ~

During a rational discussion with friends, we easily reject the victim persona. We claim control over ourselves, and we definitely don’t intend to give others power to harm us. However, when alone and faced with the “bullies” in our lives, we struggle to gather our strength and resistance.

Bullies come in many sizes and shapes. They aren’t always easily recognized: some are female, others male; some are young, others old. More often than not, they don’t do us physical harm. But the emotional harm they wreak can be truly damaging. Their effects on our minds and spirits can immobilize us as severely as a broken bone.

Fortunately, we have the Twelve Step program to shield us from the “abusers” in our lives. It also gives us the strength of numbers. Sponsors and friends will help us remember to follow God’s direction when we get momentarily led astray by the words or actions of those who’d harm us.

I am in good company in my recovery program. I will look to those I trust for support when I need to stand up for myself.

**************************************************

~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~

My appearance is important to me now

When I was using drugs and having serious symptoms, I didn't much care what happened to me‒except staying high as long as I could. And I didn't much care about how I looked to anyone else. It didn't matter.

But with a little abstinence and stability, I care about myself more. I feel a new respect for myself that includes my body and especially my face. In recovery it's important to me that I look OK. When I take care of my appearance, I feel better about myself.

Today I will shower, comb my hair and put on clean clothes.

*************************************************

~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~

Life does not need to be changed, only our attitudes do.

~ Sri Swami Rama ~

Clowns can change their attitudes at will, with the help of make-up, color, and posture. And clowns can reach out and grab our hearts with sadness or smiles. We also can bring sadness or smiles to life each day.

We are the makers of our daily attitude, and we are responsible for the light or gloom we put on each morning. What a wonderful gift we bring to ourselves and others when we choose to wear a happy smile and look at the bright side of life. This doesn’t mean we should neglect our sorrow and losses for we can share those with our group, our sponsor, or our Higher Power. It does mean we have a choice each morning, as we decide whether the world feels basically friendly or unfriendly.

Greeting the day by expecting the best in people and events helps us create an atmosphere of joy and goodwill wherever we go. It is our program in action.

Today let me believe the world is basically friendly and trust that good things will come to me.

**************************************************

~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~

When I found out I thought God was white, and a man, I lost interest.

~ Alice Walker ~

Out of all the work that you need to do in recovery, one of the hardest tasks may not be abstinence but the development of trust and belief in your concept of a Higher Power.

Within the program, the terms God or Higher Power simply signify something greater than you. It is up to you, in your recovery, to determine how you personally develop a greater understanding of a spiritual presence in your life. Maybe you feel, as Alice Walker writes in The Color Purple, that “God ain’t a he or a she, but a It.” Perhaps, for you, a Higher Power is not a being but a feeling or an essence—the unfolding of a sunrise or the sound of ocean waves lapping the shoreline.

The form your spiritual guide takes or the name you apply to it is not as important as the substance of what this guide symbolizes and how you can embrace its guidance and wisdom. Belief in something other than yourself and greater than yourself is where your spiritual awakening begins. Where this essence takes you is your spiritual journey.

Today I believe in something greater than myself that will restore me to sanity and empower me to become a better person.

**************************************************

~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~

Fear imprisons, faith liberates; fear paralyzes, faith empowers; fear disheartens, faith encourages; fear sickens, faith heals; fear makes useless, faith makes serviceable.

~ Harry Emerson Fosdick ~

It has been said that the opposite of fear is faith. But how do we change our fears into faith if we have little or no faith? How do we start having faith? One of the easiest ways to develop an alternative to fear is to ask ourselves during a moment of fear: What is the worst that could happen? Once we know the answer to that question, we have dealt with the source of our fears−the unknown.

What do we fear now? First we need to identify all the unknowns that we fear. Once we recognize all the things that can happen, we will be able to prepare ourselves for possible failure, loss, or sadness. By recognizing the fears, we take away some of their power over us. We can then believe we will be all right.

What do I fear and why do I fear it? I know I am okay because I have identified my fear.

**************************************************

~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~

Taking the Fourth Step

It is very easy, when talking in general terms, to sweep away our past and say we want forgiveness and understanding of our wrongs. But this should not be confused with doing a Fourth Step. There, we don’t generalize or simplify the nature of our wrongs; we talk about their exact nature. If we put this on a personal level, we begin to see how difficult the inventory Steps are.

Often we must pray for the willingness to go on. Becoming willing to be specific may be the hardest thing we’ve ever had to do. But seeing the living miracles around us testifies to the fact that the rewards are great. If we are willing, God provides the opportunities for working the Steps.

Have I stopped generalizing about my defects?

Higher Power, help me be specific about the exact nature of my wrongs.

Today I will be specific about my defects, including

God help me to stay clean and sober today!

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~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~

Every road is rough to one that has no friend to cheer it.

~ ELIZABETH SHANE ~

Newcomer

Good things are happening in my life now. But I still find myself uncomfortable a lot of the time and wishing I could run. I imagine leaving everyone and everything I’m connected to behind me.

Sponsor

Our disease wants us alone. When we’re isolated from other recovering people, our own demons have their way with us. Even when we’ve experienced a success, we may be afraid that it can’t happen again or that we may have to pay a penalty for so much good. Our minds start working overtime. We’re haunted by our thoughts. Escape seems appealing. Our “fight-or-flight” mechanism, originally intended to help us survive, turns against us.

The antidote for craving escape is, surprisingly, bringing ourselves into contact with people. We can go to a meeting and, if possible, share what’s going on with us. As addicts, we have a history of medicating our feelings—one way of running from them. If we allow ourselves to experience our feelings, accept them, and share them with others, they’ll pass through us. Surrender is required.

Today, I surrender to happiness.

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~ THE EYE OPENER ~

Alcoholics are by nature the great “I AM.” We work ourselves into a lather in doing AA work and sometimes we are rewarded with a degree of success and we begin to puff up like a pouter pigeon, forgetting we are of ourselves able to do nothing. We are still but a drink away from a stumble-bum.

We are what we are by the Grace of God only. We accomplish what little we do by a Power greater than ourselves. How can you help anybody? You were never even able to help yourself.

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~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~

MICHAL’S PRAYER

Lord, take me where You want me to go,
Let me meet who You want me to meet;
Tell me what You want me to say,
And
Keep me out of Your way.

(Father Mychal Judge, NYC Fire Department Chaplain, killed September 11, 2001.)

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~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~

ONLY YOUR OWN THOUGHTS

No matter what problem you may have to face today, there is a solution, because you have nothing to deal with but your own thoughts. As you know, you have the power to select and control your thoughts, difficult though it may be at times to do so. As long as you think that your destiny is in the hands of other people, the situation is hopeless.

Remind yourself constantly that you have nothing to deal with but your own thoughts. Write it down where you will see it often. Have it on your desk. Hang it in your bedroom. Write it in your pocketbook. Write it on your soul. It will transform your life. It will lead you out of the land of Egypt and out of the House of Bondage. It will bring you to God.

I thought on my ways, and turned my feet unto thy testimonies (Psalm 119:59).

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~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~

Where Is the Jungle?

Calm soul of all things! Make it mine to feel amid the city’s jar
That there abides a peace of things man did not make, and cannot mar.

~ Matthew Arnold ~

My parrot was swept on a gust of wind and deposited in a jungle valley across a gulch from his aviary. Yogi landed in a tree near the hut of a hermit, a bearded mountain man named Tom who had holed up in seclusion for many years. As I approached Tom's make-shift dwelling, I saw he was living on a wooden palette under a thin plastic tarpaulin. A few meager possessions were scattered around the pallet, but what caught my eye was his television. Tom was engrossed in watching the news on an old TV hooked up to a car battery.

“Armageddon is on its way!" he announced. "It's all over the news; just watch what's going on—the Bible tells us these are the end times!" Well, I thought, anytime you watch the news it looks like the end times. It turns out that Tom spends most of his time in the jungle watching disaster news on television. While it might appear that he has renounced the world, he has actually taken it with him.

In an old Honeymooners episode, Ed Norton longed to return to work after he was fired from his job in the sewer department. Ed's classic comment to Ralph Kramden was, "You can take the man out of the sewer, but you can't take the sewer out of the man!"

By contrast, my teacher Hilda lived in one of the toughest sections of New York City, and she carried heaven with her wherever she went. She regularly encountered drug addicts, thieves, prostitutes, and murder victims, but the light within her was so strong she transformed everyone she met. You can take the person out of heaven, but you can't take heaven out of the person.

We may live in a jungle, but whether it is heaven or hell depends on the thoughts we carry with us.

I pray to carry the light with me wherever I go.

I live in the world I choose with my thoughts.

[bluidkiti]

June 6

Step by Step

"Rarely have we seen a person fail who has thoroughly followed our path. Those who do not recover are people who cannot or will not completely give themselves to this simple program, usually men and women who are constitutionally incapable of being honest with themselves. ...They are not at fault; they seem to have been born that way. They are naturally incapable of grasping and developing a manner of living which demands rigorous honesty. Their chances are less than average." - Alcoholics Anonymous, 3rd Edition, 1976, Ch 5, p 58.

Today, examination not only my own honesty but the foundation on which it is built. Before I can start to develop the honesty required for an effective program, I first have to ask why I want recovery. Starting at the very beginning of the program - Step One - I have to distinguish that over which I am powerless: is it alcohol or the potential consequences of my misconduct while drunk? If I cannot admit that it is alcohol over which I am powerless, then I am lying to myself if I seek recovery to avoid or lessen the consequences drinking. Today, I have to be honest that I am powerless over alcohol and that my addiction is the basis to start getting honest. To stop drinking for anyone or anything else is the foundation of a lie, one that is built on sand. And our common journey continues. Step by step. - Chris M.

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~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~

THE FIRST HOUR.

Every recovery front addiction begins with one clean and sober hour.

~ Anonymous ~

It is amazing to watch a television program and see how the most complicated life situations are resolved in less than thirty minutes. Those of us who have made a heavy diet of television probably wonder deep down why our problems are not solved quickly in recovery. When we were drinking and drugging, thirty minutes was plenty of time to dissolve a problem into oblivion.

Recovery isn't like TV. We can't change the channel if we don't like the Program.

There are two facts we can't escape in our Program and recovery: the treatment begins with one clean and sober hour and the cure will take a lifetime.

The good news is that the focus of recovery is on the treatment, not the cure. And
while there might not always be something good on TV, there's always something good on the Program.

I will remember that recovery is a process, not an event.

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~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~

Defeat may serve as well as victory to shake the soul and let the glory out.

~ Edwin Markham ~

No one goes in search of a defeat so that he can have a stirring spiritual experience. The real defeats are the ones that we would never choose. They break our treasures and shake our foundations. In the breaking, a defeat gives us a changed life to deal with. It forces us to see things from an angle we never saw before. We start from the empty feeling and the question: now what?

Defeat is inevitable in life. We aren’t really adults until we have confronted situations that we desperately wanted to conquer but could not. It is in learning to accept the reality of powerlessness that we have the first opportunity to become full adults. When a man stops at defeat and feels only defeated, without finding the wisdom to grow beyond it, he stays stuck in that spot. In recovery and healing, we are learning that the renewed life that comes after we accept our powerlessness is full of possibilities—and a serenity we didn’t know before.

Today I am fateful for the adult perspective I gained from acknowledging a reality that I could not control

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~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~

I will not take myself so seriously. I will let laughter heal.

~ Jan Pishok ~

Being hard on ourselves is second nature to us. For some of us, it comes from growing up in a rigid, punishing environment. But the need to be perfect can be a self-inflicted wound too. We have suffered long enough. It’s time to change. It’s time to lighten up.

How do we break old, powerful patterns? Only with effort applied daily. Fortunately, there are exercises we can do that will help. For instance, we can make a habit of seeing comedies on TV, on the stage, or at the movies. We can choose to socialize with women and men who appreciate the lighter side of life. We can ask our trusted friends to help us see the funny side of our personal foibles. And we can ask our Higher Power to nudge us toward a humorous outlook. Perhaps the most powerful exercise is simply to make the decision to laugh more, and then do it!

Laughter promotes personal growth and health. I will practice this prescription today.

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~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~

It's OK to talk about my problems

I used to talk about my problems all the time. I was anxious and depressed and scared. I didn’t know what to do to help myself. Eventually, I got on people's nerves (and they told me so). Sometimes I felt rejected and shut out from sources of help.

But slowly I've learned four pertinent truths for my dual recovery: (a) When I talk about my spiritual, physical, or mental pain, I tend to accept it more, and then I can usually do something about it. (b) I need to pick the right person and the right time to talk. (c) Sometimes I complain too much, when what I really need to do is take more responsibility for myself. (d) A sense of humor is a gift.

Today I will pray for willingness and perspective.

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~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~

The foolish man seeks happiness in the distance; the wise man grows it under his feet.

~ James Oppenheim ~

We have so many memories, and it’s sadly true that often the unhappy ones are easiest to recall. Sometimes these memories dog us through a day, and the past tinges our present with sadness. This keeps us from being at our best, but it doesn’t have to happen.

In our recovery, we are learning to live each day, and to relish the present moment. This means not letting old hurts, guilt, and shame from the past invade our lives today. What has happened is done. What is to happen will take place in its own time, at its own pace. In this day, at this moment, we are alive, and we are free to choose how to feel and what to do right now. We are free to feel grateful for the chance to live again. We are free to take advantage of this chance to do our best. If we need help, we are free to ask for that as well.

By living the present the best way we can, we are also ensuring that good memories will be our gift to our future. Each day we live as well as we can makes our lives more worthwhile, more content, more our own.

Today let me enjoy the moments I am in, for they are all I have.

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~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~

It’s an indulgence to sit in a room and discuss your beliefs as if they were a juicy piece of gossip.

~ Lillian Heilman ~

As someone who regularly attends a particular meeting, you may think you know how others at the meeting view that fellowship. Because you have gone to the meeting for so long and know most, if not all, of the people, you may not realize how hard it might be for a newcomer to feel welcomed. You may also not be aware of how often group discussion strays from the topic of recovery and into areas of gossip, judgment, and criticism.

You may not consider that because the meeting has had the same attendees for a long time, you or others in the group may have discouraged those who dropped in, did not like what they saw or heard, and left.

Just as each individual needs to undertake a searching inventory, so too is there a value in the members of a particular fellowship conducting an analysis of how the group presents itself to others. Is each member on the lookout for newcomers and available to make them feel welcome?

Today I will look at one of my meetings from an outsider’s point of view. I will work harder to make newcomers feel welcome and to redirect topics of discussion when they go astray.

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~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~

Mankind has advanced in the footsteps of men and women of unshakable faith. Many of these great ones . . . have set stars in the heavens to light others through the night.

~ Olga Rosmanith ~

All around us there are wonderful role models. Their faith, hope, strength, courage, and fearlessness can give us guidance during any time of need. But in order to look to those people for inspiration, we first need to be ready to look beyond ourselves.

In our times of need, it's easy to focus solely on ourselves. ICs almost as if we climb into our own womb, conscious only of our feelings, thoughts, pains, and needs.

Yet there are those among us who have lived through times just as trying as the ones we're in. However, instead of looking inward, these people looked outward to the solutions and applied them. By using the same solutions, we can bring some light into our darkness.

Where can I find my powers of example?

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~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~

Avoiding self-pity

Our troubled lives and mixed-up emotions can easily draw pity from those who would help us. Sometimes we even exaggerate our history or current situation to get more pity. In the program we share our feelings to avoid self-pity because we know how destructive it can be.

When we say, “This too shall pass,” for example, we are not giving our fellows the brush-off. Rather we are saying, “Don’t wallow in self-pity; it’s a killer. We’ve all experienced similar situations. God loves you and it will pass!”

Have I stopped pitying myself?

Higher Power, help me to remember that pity leads only to self-pity and that I want to change that pattern.

Today I will work on avoiding self-pity by

God help me to stay clean and sober today!

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~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~

Nobody can be exactly like me. Sometimes even I have trouble doing it.

~ TALLULAH BANKHEAD ~

Newcomer

I’m not so sure about this idea in Step Six of giving up all my so-called character defects. There are things about me that some people might not approve of but that don’t really hurt anyone. They’re what makes me unique and interesting. I wouldn’t want to live in a totally bland world.

Sponsor

I identify with your fear, but I promise that Step Six is not intended to erase us. It’s human nature to cling to the attitudes and behaviors we already know, even when they’ve brought us discomfort or isolated us from others.

There’s something of the “dry drunk” in our desire to continue to act exactly as we did when we were active in our addictions. It’s as if an alcoholic who admitted his or her powerlessness over alcohol agreed to stop drinking, but continued to spend all of his or her time in bars, insisting that nothing interesting could be happening anywhere else. What would happen if we let go? Who would we become? Perhaps we resist surrendering our old habits out of fear that underneath the armor of our character defects there isn’t much to be proud of.

Each of us is created with a unique combination of qualities and talents. It’s not our defects that make us special and fulfill our natures; they only stand in the way.

Today, I move forward to greet the self I don’t know yet.

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~ THE EYE OPENER ~

Before the philosophy or theory of AA was ever committed to writing the “Big Book”, it was devised by the Founders after many trials and errors, after many disheartening failures and setbacks.

Because of our phenomenal growth we are prone to think our birth was painless.

AA was not invented; it was born in the labors of suffering men and women, who, by pooling their common experiences, arrived at an answer to the alcoholic problem−one that would work.

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~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~

FREE OF RESENTMENT PRAYER

God, free me from my resentment
Toward _____.
Please bless _____ in whatever it is that You know
They may be needing this day.
Please give _____ everything I want for myself.
And may _____ 's life be full of health, peace,
Prosperity, and happiness as they seek to have
A closer relationship with You.

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~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~

Read Acts 19:1−41.

This is an extremely colorful and dramatic chapter even for the Bible, which is so full of color and drama. Every problem has a solution, Some problems last a long time, some a short time, but always there is a solution, and always the solution is to tum from the outer to the inner. When you admire some outer, passing thing too much, and thus give power to the manifestation, you are saying, "Great is Diana'" When you fear some outer thing or condition or person, then you are also saying, "Great is Diana." And when you say, "Great is Diana," then your troubles really begin.

The First Commandment is, "l am the Lord thy God"−God, spirit, nothing outside. There is not a single mistake that you or I have ever made, there is not a single trouble or heartache that has ever come to us, that has not come directly through saying, "Great is Diana," and forgetting God.

Great is our Lord, and of great power: his understanding is infinite (Psalm 147:5).

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~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~

A Silver Platter

At every moment the universe is making you an irresistible offer.

~ Anonymous ~

The movie Dumb and Dumber depicts the trials of a pair of goofy guys traveling cross-country in search of the girls of their dreams. After many disappointments, the duo is stranded on a desert road when a busload of gorgeous bikini-clad babes pulls up. Three mega-attractive women step off the bus, and one greets them, "Hi! We're on the Hawaiian Tropic Tanning Oil tour, and we're looking for a couple of guys to travel with us and rub suntan oil on us before our demonstrations." Then she coyly asks, "Do you know where we could find these guys?"

One fellow smiles and answers, "Sure! There's a town about three miles down the road!"

Disappointed, the girls climb on the bus and leave the two in the dust. "Look at that, Harry," one of the pair complains. "Some guys have all the luck."

While it may seem that life is passing us by, quite often it is laying golden opportunities at our doorstep. Before doubting or missing an invitation, consider if there might be a divine gift in this meeting. Imagine that everyone you meet is sent to you by God for a reason. Although you are not required to accept every invitation, there is a gift in every encounter.

Today I will regard everyone I meet as Your messenger, come to teach, heal, or bless me in some way.

My good is seeking me. I accept it now.

[bluidkiti]

June 7

Step by Step

"Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him." - Step Three

"Our description of the alcoholic ...make clear three pertinent ideas:
(a) That we were alcoholic and could not manage our own lives.
(b) That probably no human power could have relieved our alcoholism.
(c) That God could and would if He were sought." - Alcoholics Anonymous, 3rd Edition, 1976, Ch 5, p 60.

Today, revisiting Step Three, I ask if I have enough humility to turn my will and life over to the higher power of my understanding. The starting point is the admission that my life, "run on self-will," has never worked. If I can agree, I must give up running the show - my life - the way I want because to continue to do so is another guaranteed failure. So, I look outside and, if I can say even half-heartedly that I am still alive only "by the grace of God," I have found my higher power. And because His grace is why I am alive, I can also say that I can trust Him more than myself to show me how to live as a sober alcoholic. Today, I reaffirm my decision to surrender my will to my higher power because I've not done such a great job of doing it on my own. And our common journey continues. Step by step. - Chris M.

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~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~

CAME TO BELIEVE

Find something higher than yourself in which to believe. Believe in God or Be God!

~ Anonymous ~

Self-centered, egotistic, materialistic people score lowest of all in measuring happiness. We all think it is easy to see that money doesn't buy happiness. Yet everyone seems to give their all to obtaining money. We all know that we will never find the meaning of our lives in another person. Yet haw much time have we spent looking for such a person?

All our striving for things of this world has given us little or no happiness. We always end up with either nothing to believe in, or believing in the wrong things.

Whenever we make a god out of ourselves, someone else, or our material possessions, we bring misery down around us.

There is something bigger than myself that I must believe in and trust completely for my peace and happiness. That is my Higher Power.

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~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~

Not all who wander are lost.

~ J. R. R. Tolkien ~

We are wandering on a path. We are able to look back and see how far we have come, and perhaps we can see some distance ahead. But we are exploring what a recovered life means. We cannot predict what will happen in the future, and we cannot see what is around the next bend. Some people respond to the unknown with fear. On the spiritual path we are following, we put fear in our back pocket. We continue to wander while practicing the principle of turning our lives and our will over to the care of God. There is no need to fear. We know that we will face challenges and we will not be alone.

Since we cannot foresee what will happen in the future, we can only know that we will meet whatever happens with our best self. Life is an adventure. The difference between fear and excitement is the knowledge that our Higher Power will be with us. We have our friends; we have our honesty and our self-respect. Even though we don’t know what is around the next turn, we are not lost.

Today I am grateful to be in the care of my Higher Power.

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~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~

If I am a victim to everything in life, that is my choice.

~ Peggy Bassett ~

Some days we choose the role of victim. We can’t rationally explain it, but nonetheless it suits us on occasion. Perhaps we’re too tired to take responsibility for ourselves every day. Or maybe we have forgotten that we have a Higher Power to help us. Luckily, since finding this program, we settle for the victim role far less often. It’s not hard to call on our ever-present guardian angel for strength.

Actively making choices that safeguard us, that comfort our healing hearts, becomes easier with practice. Being surrounded by women who are doing likewise influences and strengthens our resolve. Who would have thought we’d come so far, so quickly?

Looking back on the past fortifies our hope and faith that we will not return to that victim role so quickly.

Being a victim fit me when I wasn’t mature enough to be responsible for myself. I no longer have that excuse. The Twelve Steps will help me clarify what I need to do to take care of myself today.

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~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~

It's OK to talk about my problems

I am not alone anymore

It's hard for me to be alone. I can feel paralyzed if I even think about it too long, especially when I recall some of my darkest days. Being isolated is part of what got me into treatment in the first place‒that and staying drunk all the time.

Being in a day treatment program helped me feel better. It was good to be with other recovering people much of the day, people who generally understood me, who accepted me and supported me. I feel stronger, more independent, and grateful for this help.

Tonight I will call and chat with a friend from my treatment program.

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~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~

I love being able to say, “I was wrong,” or "I made a mistake,” and not feel like it’s the end of the world.

~ Carol C. ~

Before recovery, we felt so guilt-ridden we couldn’t bear to admit we were less than perfect. Since our insides seemed so awful, we clung to an outside appearance of perfection. That way, we hoped people wouldn’t find out what we were really like. But we fooled no one, not even ourselves, for very long.

In recovery, we have a chance to change that pattern. Now, we can learn to admit our limitations, our mistakes, and our imperfections. What a wonderful relief, not to have to be perfect. We can be just who we are — very human beings who are groping toward the light. Sometimes we find it, sometimes we lose our way, but still we strive onward. And, in the process, we find ourselves, and serenity.

Today help me keep working toward perfection, but forgive my mistakes along the way.

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~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~

The monsters of our childhood do not Jade away, neither are they wholly ever monstrous.

~ John le Carre ~

When you were young, you may have insisted upon sleeping with your bedroom light on. You were frightened of the monsters you imagined were hiding underneath your bed or who would enter your bedroom the moment the lights went out. Over time, you outgrew your need to sleep with a light on and came to understand that stories of monstrous beings were just that—stories. But then addiction entered your life, becoming the monster you had once feared, taking over your life. Try as you might to get out of its grasp, it would not let you go.

Freedom from your addiction released you from the monster’s grip. While your life today may be a far cry from a happily-ever-after fairy tale ending, you have re-gained the joy, serenity, and rational thinking that your monster once took from you.

Although your monster may still come back to haunt you, you understand how it operates. Rather than be controlled by stinking thinking, doubt, insecurity, and fear, you comprehend the power of the Serenity Prayer. This prayer offers you protection and enables you to develop the courage you need to face those things you can change.

Today I will use the Serenity Prayer for the courage and wisdom I need so I can face my monsters and overcome them.

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~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~

The mind is its own place, and in itself−Can make a heaven of hell, a hell of heaven.

~ John Milton ~

If we listen to the news, we can hear stories of natural disasters, starvation and deprivation, torture and bloodshed. Yet we may sit in our homes and look at our lives and moan, "Life isn't fair to me. Nothing ever works out the way I want it to."

lf we could lose our self-centeredness and look at the powerlessness issues that go on outside of our little world, we would realize our hell is of its own creation. When we see what we don't have and what we can't change, we are building the foundations of a hell memorial. We are striving to preserve the have-nots and are-nots as a fitting tribute to all we cannot be.

We can stop eulogizing such negativity. Sure, there are many bad things in this world and a lot of bad people. Sure, there are many things we cannot do and possibly never will be able to do. But we can tear down the tribute to hell and erect instead a tribute to heaven−to all the things we can have and can do, to all the things we can change.

I can build tributes to my not memorials. The Serenity Prayer can help me see blessings, not bitterness tonight.

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~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~

Awaken spiritually

Many of us have had spiritual experiences and spiritual awakenings as a result of this program. Some people had them before they arrived, some when they first arrived, some years after. But before we come to realize a power greater than ourselves or our addiction, we don’t need to hear voices or see visions.

The spiritual experience most of us have is a quiet realization that God has given us our lives. What greater experience can we ask for? Have I had a spiritual awakening?

Higher Power, help me remain grateful for the gift of my life.

I will practice my spiritual aliveness today by

God help me to stay clean and sober today!

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~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~

True emancipation lies in the acceptance of the whole past, in deriving strength from all my roots.

~ PAULI MURRAY ~

Newcomer

Step Six asks us to be “entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.” I don’t understand what action is involved, why it’s a whole separate Step.

Sponsor

Once again, the Steps remind us that there are processes in our experience of living, that one experience follows another. The piano soloist doesn’t arrive at the concert hall planning to “wing it” in the most difficult passages of the concerto. The ease of playing comes not merely from talent, but from preparation.

Step Five was our preparation for Step Six. Sharing our inventory with a trusted person, we saw clearly that much of our previous lives had been shaped by our insatiable craving for a drug. No longer sitting alone with our guilt and shame, no longer fleeing into addictive behavior, we aired what we thought were our worst secrets. We felt the relief that comes from knowing we’re connected with other human beings. Change seemed like the only possible direction; we didn’t want to repeat our past.

Step Six asks us to be certain that we’re prepared for fundamental change. If we pass over this Step in a perfunctory way, we won’t have the inner certainty that subsequent Steps will require of us.

Today, I see the freedom that results from willingness to surrender my defects.

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~ THE EYE OPENER ~

In our drinking days most of us entertained frequent ideas about suicide, but we did nothing about it because we either lacked the nerve, lost our ability to make and carry through any decision, or we still had some hope that sometime, somehow, something could be done. We were still in love with life, rotten as our living was.

The real joy of living came only when our living had some purpose and it will stay sweet as long as we actively engage in constructive, purposeful living.

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~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~

THE FEAR PRAYER

God, thank You for helping me to be honest
Enough to see the truth about myself.
Thank You for showing me my fears,
Please help me remove them.
Help me outgrow my fears;
The fears that have haunted me
And blocked me from doing Your will.
Direct my attention to what You
Would have me be.
Demonstrate through me and
Help me do Your will always.

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~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~

YOU CAN'T, BUT GOD CAN

The spiritual forces that created and sustain the whole universe are available to help you at any time-provided you call upon them intelligently. The way to call upon this Power is to become quiet both mentally and physically, and then to call upon it quietly to do what it knows to be necessary. Do not dictate ways and means.

Have you ever seen a huge hoist in action at the docks? You know what happens. The operator would not dream of trying to pull up that load with his muscles. He would damage himself seriously and make no impression on the task in hand. That he does is to gently throw a small switch−and leave it in. Then the electric power raises the load to any height required.

When you work spiritually you are applying Infinite Power to your problem, and there can be but one outcome−victory.

Great in counsel and mighty in work: for thine eyes are open upon all the ways of the sons of men (Jeremiah 32:19).

**************************************************

~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~

The Key

Boldness has genius, power, magic in it.

~ Goethe ~

"I am at a crossroads in my life," John confessed. "Last year I quit a successful job in the oil industry so I could explore my spiritual path. Recently I received a lucrative offer to work for another company, and I'm tempted. If I take it, my soul will shrivel, for I would be going backward, not forward."

"Would you be willing to trust the universe to support you to live your dream, even if you cannot see how that would happen?" I asked.

John thought for a while and smiled. "Yes, I am willing for that to happen."

A few weeks later, I received a letter from John, who reported, "The most amazing thing happened. I went to visit my father, who has never really understood or been very supportive of my spiritual path. He took me into his study and told me, 'Son, I am proud of you for what you're doing with your life.' He took out his checkbook and wrote me a large check that will keep me going for at least a year." Within four months, John had gotten his massage teacher's license at Esalen, a yoga teacher's certification from Kripalu Institute, and attended a Mastery Training in Hawaii. The last I heard of him, he was trekking in Nepal.

The key to John's transformation and his unexpected gift was his willingness to allow the universe to support him. It was an internal shift from, "l don't see how this could happen" to "I am willing to have this happen somehow." When you start an automobile, the key is just a tiny piece of metal, minuscule in comparison to the might of the engine that will drive the vehicle. Yet, all of 3OO horsepower depends on the flick of a small key.

You don't need to know the how of it; just know the what, and be willing for an unfathomable force to work wonders on your behalf.

I surrender to Your wisdom and strength. Do for me what I cannot do for myself.

I am willing to have the universe support me to live my dream.

[bluidkiti]

June 8

Step by Step

Today, humility to extend compassion, understanding and empathy to the alcoholic whose current circumstances might once have been mine. If someone confides that he is faced with something that has him in a place of uncertainty, fear, helplessness, hopelessness and desperation, I will remember that I, too, was once in the same dark place and needed more than well-intended but superficial assurances. Instead, I will remember that I entrusted all with unconditional faith to my higher power and, while clinging onto sobriety even an hour at a time, He saw me through. Today, I will not minimize the fears and uncertainties of another person who might be venturing into unknown waters and, instead, will respect them with unconditional love and support. He may be my most important 12th Step. And our common journey continues. Step by step. - Chris M.

**************************************************

~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~

H.O.W.

H.O.W = Honesty, Open mindedness, Willingness.

~ Anonymous ~

H.O.W. is a pattern for character and spiritual growth. We must approach all challenges with Honest intentions and Openminded tolerance. But only Willingness will start us toward goals. When the willingness is great, the difficulties cannot be great. If we are willing to accept and to act with dedication, nothing can stop us as long as our goals are for spiritual rewards.

Willingness can simply mean that we are ready and well prepared to face challenges. But we must be cautious not to mistake wilful for willing. The first insists that things happen our way and on our terms. But Willingness rids us of fears and prepares us to choose wisely.

The Program tells me that "willingness is the key," and “willingness without action is fantasy." These are essentials of recovery.

**************************************************

~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~

We do not err because truth is difficult to see. It is visible at a glance. We err because this is more comfortable.

~ Alexander Solzhenitsyn ~

When we are directed to make a “searching and fearless” moral inventory of ourselves, it is because in our old ways we looked for the more comfortable answers. Honesty with ourselves can be uncomfortable when we first let ourselves in on the secrets we kept away from our consciousness. We see things we do not want to look at. We may have long-held patterns of shaping and softening the facts so we could continue our harmful and self-abusive ways. And as we lied to and betrayed ourselves, we made ourselves weaker and less able to deal with our situation.

Now we value honesty with ourselves. Honesty may be uncomfortable, but it will not hurt us. Once we have the courage to be honest with ourselves, we don’t have to decide immediately what we will do with what we see. We can take it in steps. First we admit what we know to be true—and then we can live with what we know for a while. Slowly wisdom will grow within us and we will more clearly see a path for how to proceed

Today I will not shy away from honesty with myself.

**************************************************

~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~

In order to learn, risks must be taken.

~ Ann D. Clark ~

We commonly took risks in the days before our abstinence. In fact, every day that we used mood- altering chemicals, we risked our very lives, perhaps the lives of others too. Why, then, are we so tentative about taking risks now? Maybe we miss the false courage that alcohol and other drugs offered us.

AA and other Twelve Step programs can cultivate real courage in us, if we want it. Remembering to rely on our Higher Power and our sponsors for support and guidance will help us take the risks that offer us growth.

Conscious risk-taking can be very empowering. We all deserve the self-esteem that comes with empowerment. Our lack of it made the chemicals we tried far too appealing. We need never go back there again.

Trying something new isn’t always easy, but it is an opportunity to let my Higher Power give me courage. I will risk it today.

**************************************************

~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~

I am doing the best I can

I want to get well. I want to recover, but I keep sliding back into my old pattern. I start feeling overwhelmed by my problems, get depressed, and then have a slip. I feel bad that I can't get a handle on this. I thought I knew what to do, but what I'm doing is not working.

When i told my support group about this they reminded me of two things: (a) Slips don't have to be such a bad thing. A slip says that I need to make some changes in my relapse prevention program. (b) Recovery is a process that takes time and forgiveness. When I can think about it that way, I'm not so hard on myself and I can do what I need to do.

I will ash my group and counselor to help me identify my warning signs that precede a slip.

*************************************************

~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~

Sometimes we look for signs of God’s presence in our lives but miss them because they’re not what we thought they’d be.

~ Cathy Bohman ~

The young man was heartbroken. His fiancee had called off the wedding and left him for another man. "How could God let this happen?” he asked. The young man was convinced God did not care about him. Years later, as he celebrated his tenth wedding anniversary, he told his wife he was grateful to God for their marriage. Now he knew that when his first fiancee left him, it was for the good. At the time, he just could not see it.

We all have moments in life when we lose something — a boyfriend or girlfriend, a job or a chance for a job, or something else that seems very important at the time — and feel God has deserted us. Sometimes we may feel that being an alcoholic or addict is a sign God has deserted us. Only after being in a Twelve Step program for a number of years, do we realize that life now is better than it was before the illness of addiction set in. We appreciate our loved ones and ourselves more than ever, our priorities have changed, and we have a relationship with a Higher Power that didn’t exist before. And every new day, we gain a new perspective and insight into how God is working to enrich our lives.

Today help me to remember that You are always with me.

**************************************************

~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~

If I can’t be beautiful, I want to be invisible.

~ Chuck Palahniuk ~

Very few people choose to go to their first meeting. Some were given the directive to attend. Others became so sick and tired of feeling sick and tired that they figured meetings could not make matters any worse. Maybe you came into the program because you made a promise to someone that you would attend meetings, or maybe a friend invited you.

No matter how you came to your first meeting, you can expect to feel a wide range of emotions just by walking through the door. You may feel angry at the mess in your life, or ashamed of the label “alcoholic” or “addict.” You may feel frightened and alone, or an overpowering sense of hopelessness.

Until you become more comfortable, you may not want to say anything or have anyone acknowledge your presence. But retreating into a shell or imagining that you are wearing a cloak of invisibility will not make your discomfort go away. What is more helpful is to be open to the welcomes of others, to introduce yourself, and to let the words you hear sink in. Over time, meetings will become the best part of your day.

Even when I do not feel like going to a meeting, I will. There is value to each meeting I attend.

**************************************************

~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~

We ought to hear at least one little song every day, read a good poem, see a first-rate painting and if possible speak a few sensible words.

~ Johann Wolfgang Von Goethe ~

Schedules! At the end of a day, have we ever felt we've accomplished anything? Maybe we did everything according to our schedules, but were we able to take time to do the things we wanted?

Dinner doesn't have to be eaten at a fixed hour. Work doesn't have to be brought home every night. Chores don't have to be done on the same night every week. A little variation in our evening schedules is healthy, especially if we need a change of pace. It will also help us unwind, center ourselves, be more alert and in touch with life rather than frantically trying to keep pace.

Read a book. Play a record that's been collecting dust. Call a friend. Write a letter. Go for a walk. Prepare a special dessert. Take a hot, luxurious bath. We can break the weekly routine and add a new one- pampering ourselves.

What can I do special for me? I can decide tonight what I’d really like to do−and then tomorrow, I'll do it!

**************************************************

~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~

Helping slippers

Why do they have to suffer? Why is it that we have found and accepted this fellowship while some people seem unable to or else must experience untold hardships before they can accept it? Many times our hearts have ached at the seeming failure of Twelfth Step work.

We watch others suffer needlessly and sometimes die. We watch others repeatedly slip and our hearts cry out to them. Those of us who make it must never give up on the ones who don’t. They need us desperately and we need them. Even if they truly can’t make it, God still loves them all.

Do I leave the results of my Twelfth Step work with my Higher Power?

All God’s children are in God’s hands. Thank you for the way you are holding me!

Today I will try to help a person who has slipped by

God help me to stay clean and sober today!

**************************************************

~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~

Such as I am, I am a precious gift.

~ ZORAH NEALE HURSTON ~

Newcomer

Sometimes I think I’m basically dishonest. I’ve fooled you and other people into thinking I’m capable of real change.

Sponsor

Sounds like you’re having one of those moments of intense self-doubt we all go through in recovery. At times like this, we have no compassion for ourselves. Our regrets about the past and our fears about the future are all we can see right now. If other people show compassion for us, we think that we’ve put something over on them—or worse, that they, too, are the frauds we’ve judged ourselves to be.

After we’ve chosen recovery and experienced the hope it offers, the darkness we’ve carried inside seems to rise up and almost overwhelm us. With help, we can recognize it for what it is and step back from it. This isn’t the moment to draw conclusions about our capacity for recovery. What we’re experiencing today is part of a process that brings self-esteem and freedom.

I’m willing to trust those who refuse to endorse my harsh judgment of myself. Recovery holds more of the truth than I can see today.

**************************************************

~ THE EYE OPENER ~

Opportunity is found within ourselves and nowhere else; the place that provides the greatest opportunity for our mental, moral and physical welfare. Only when we are mentally and physically fit are we able to recognize and grasp material opportunities when they present themselves. Billion dollar deals have been cooked up in practically every bar in the country but they have all vanished into thin air during the following morning hang-over.

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~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~

CLEVELAND AA PRAYER, 1941

God, You have been our dwelling place in all generations.
Before the mountains were brought forth, or even the earth and the world were made.
We thank You for having brought us safely to this day of our lives and
Having taught us to live one day at a time in Your work.
We pray that You will guide our footsteps tomorrow, and help us as we help ourselves, help us as we help others to do Your will.
And we pray that You will extend your special mercy to those afflicted, as we have been, but who have not yet been brought from darkness to light.

*************************************************

~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~

TIDAL WATER HEALS

If you have explored some of the back waters within a few miles of the ocean you will know how much difference tidal water makes. Here you come upon a stagnant pool, partly covered with weeds and slime, an unpleasant place to be near. Not far away is another pool but this is filled with clean, salt-smelling sea water, and the growing things around it are pleasant and wholesome. The difference is that in one case the living ocean water pours in twice a day charged with vitality, and then flows out again carrying away anything stale or lifeless. It is this circulation of life that makes the difference between the two pools.

When the tide is out, we sometimes see a boat stranded, unable to move, but we know that this condition is only temporary because the tide always comes back and refloats the boat. As long as you keep up your daily visit with God, your soul is open to tidal water, and even if you should seemingly be left high and dry for a period, it is only a question of time before the living ocean will float you off once more.
Keep your soul flooded with the tidal water of eternal life and

. . . nothing shall by any means hurt you (Luke 10:19).

**************************************************

~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~

Just Testing

All things are lessons God would have me learn.

~ A Course in Miracles ~

“My engagement is off, and I’m really bummed,” Wendy told me. “He turned out to be a real turkey. When we first got together, he promised me everything. Then I found out that he was carrying a lot of baggage from his past; his ex-wife is a cocaine addict who owes a hundred thousand dollars on her credit cards. I can't believe wasted six months with that jerk!"

While I understood Wendy's disappointment, I saw that she was hurting herself by assuming a victim position. A little while later, I asked her, "What kind of work do you do?”

"I work for the army, training soldiers to protect themselves against bio-chemical warfare. I take them into a room where noxious chemicals have been released, and I take away their gas masks. My job is to see how they react under pressure. Some of them follow the emergency procedures they have been taught, and others freak out. Some become angry at me, call me horrible names, and try to grab their mask back. They don't realize I'm trying to help them by training them.”

Then a thought occurred to me: ”What if your fiancé has offered you the same service you provide your soldiers?” I asked Wendy.

"What do you mean?"

"Your fiancé showed you where you feel small and unprotected. When you got angry and blasted him for your discomfort, you are like the soldiers blaming you. You might consider this experience a training for you to find strength and wholeness within you, in the presence of a noxious environment."

Everyone we meet serves us. Some help us by bringing us peace and joy; others help us by challenging us to find clarity within ourselves. Let us honor both our friends and foes as teachers who lead us to greater power and truth.

Help me to appreciate all my relationships, and find the gift in every encounter.

Everyone is my teacher of peace. I learn and grow from all my relations.

[bluidkiti]

June 9

Step by Step

"We admitted we were powerless over alcohol - that our lives had become unmanageable." - Step One

Today, Steps 2 through 12 become mountains if the one step that requires absolute and unconditional surrender and humility - Step One - isn't taken so thoroughly that it becomes so indelible in subconscious awareness. We don't have any prayer for a quality recovery if we do not or will not accept the simple fact that our use of alcohol makes everything in our lives unmanageable. And if my ego is such that I will not admit I have no control over alcohol, maybe I can adopt a different perspective until I can check my ego in subsequent steps. Instead of thinking that alcohol controls me, I will control alcohol by not allowing it to control me. And the strongest weapon is abstinence. Today, if I find myself struggling with any of the steps, maybe I need ask if I've even left the starting block - Step One. And our common journey continues. Step by step. - Chris M.

**************************************************

~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~

We are only as sick as our secrets.

~ Anonymous ~

The shadowy world of our addiction kept us always in search of new places to hide. Each time we told a lie, we had to develop an elaborate cover for the lie. Every time we broke a promise, cheated on our loved ones, stole from our job, we would make up new stories to cover our tracks. When we got caught in a lie, we would create even more complicated lies to cover up the truth. When anyone threatened our addiction we would go further underground to make sure its needs were met.
Our recovery has allowed us an opportunity to be shown the way out of the maze of lies and secrets. They cannot co-exist with an honest life. If we are to be entirely honest in all our affairs, the cat must come out of the bag. The truth will set us free.

I'm not going to be sick any more. There can be no lies or secrets in my life of recovery. I must always be ready to be entirely honest.

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~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~

The fastest way to freedom is to feel your feelings.

~ Gita Beilin ~

Many of us were taught in boyhood that feelings should be avoided. Some men think that any kind of vulnerability should be hidden, and most feelings can make us feel vulnerable. For some of us, the only acceptable feeling is the one that makes us feel stronger: anger. Many men don’t even know what their feelings are; many others recognize their feelings but have never learned how to express them to others. When we found our addictions and codependencies, they quickly became handy ways to hide from feelings. But that only served our false sense of masculinity.

As we seek a life free from compulsions and addictions, moving from the foolish ways to the wise ways of true manhood, we honestly admit our feelings. We are strong enough to stop hiding. We honestly feel our feelings because they allow us to live more fully.

Today I will be conscious of my feeling and give them a place in my life.

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~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~

When you least expect it is when you are over-whelmed with the generosity of others.

~ Iris Timberlake ~

Expectations can be both good and bad. At times positive expectations are appropriate and healthy. For instance, when we prepare for a job interview, it is far better to visualize in great detail a positive experience. This can lessen the anxiety we might feel in the actual interview.

In other situations, however, our expectations set us up for major disappointment. Maybe we hope a friend will acknowledge our birthday in a special way, but she forgets it entirely. In this case expectations have done us an unnecessary injury.

Sometimes having no expectations is best. Then whatever happens can gratify us. At those times we can simply thank our Higher Power for blessing us as the divine plan has called for. It’s these unexpected gifts that help us realize the power of God in our lives. We are being taken care of every moment, even when we are least aware of it.

I will be very conscious of my expectations today. I won’t set myself up for disappointment if I’m aware of my thoughts.

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~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~

I am learning about making mistakes

I used to feel awful about myself when I made a mistake (and for some time afterward). For example, a mistake in recovery might be forgetting to go to a meeting or take my meds; it might be getting upset out of proportion to a problem. Simply having symptoms felt like a mistake to me. (At times, I felt that I was the mistake.) I felt less than other people for having a psychiatric illness.

Now I treat myself more gently. Dual recovery is teaching me to do that. I work on forgiving myself as soon as I can after making a mistake. I'm learning that everyone, even people I look up to, makes mistakes (including my therapist and sponsor). In fact, making a mistake may be the most common way to learn‒it tells me I need to do something different.

I will recall my last mistake and write down two lessons I can learn, or have learned, from it.

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~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~

A good listener is not only popular everywhere, but after a while he gets to know something.

~ Wilson Mizner ~

A good salesperson is usually a good listener. Being a good listener also helps in being a good parent or spouse, neighbor or friend. When we are truly able to hear what others are trying to say, we are better able to enter their world, and let them into ours.

Listening to the collective wisdom of others helps us gain understanding and perspective on the world around us. When it comes to recovery from a life-threatening illness like addiction, listening to others who are in recovery is like receiving a gift of ideas.

It is not always easy to listen, because it’s often our nature to want to be the center of attention. But listening is an art worth developing. It enriches our lives, improves our relationships, and helps us feel better about ourselves.

Today may I enrich my spiritual life by listening to others.

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~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~

We do not have to become heroes overnight. Just a step at a time, meeting each thing that comes up, seeing it as not as dreadful as it appeared, discovering we have the strength to stare it down.

~ Eleanor Roosevelt ~

How do you define courage? When you think of the word, your mind might conjure up images of soldiers in battle saving comrades, of doctors serving the needs of populations in third-world countries, or of someone who has lost the use of a leg learning how to walk again.

But perhaps courage is less about heroics and more about having the commitment to make things right. Making the decision to follow a path of recovery is courageous. As rock singer Bono once said, “My heroes are the ones who survived it wrong, who made mistakes, but recovered from them.” That is what you are doing today. Admitting you have a problem takes incredible courage. Making a commitment to be clean and sober reflects courage. Taking stock of the things you have done wrong and striving to make amends takes courage.

Courage is based on doing more than you think you are capable of doing, and going farther than you thought you could go.

Today my actions will reflect courage. I will go above and beyond all the challenges that face me.

**************************************************

~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~

When you worry, you go over the same ground endlessly and come out the same place you started. Thinking makes progress from one place to another. . . . The problem of life is to change worry into thinking and anxiety into creative action.

~ Harold B. Walker ~

The prisoner in a narrow jail cell has one path to pace-walking the same path with the same amount of paces at the same rate. It never changes until that prisoner is released.

When we worry, we are like that prisoner. Worry keeps our minds confined to one set of thoughts and keeps our physical bodies in a state of anxiety. We may believe that by thinking of the problem, we are working on a resolution. But we are really only dwelling on the futility of the problem.

It is only when we are released from worry that we can see solutions clearly. Tonight, let us free ourselves from worry's constraints, change our minds from tunnel vision to clear thoughts. These thoughts are the key to our release from worry and anxiety.

I don't have to stay prisoner to worrisome thoughts. Tonight can allow clear thinking to give me freedom from worry.

**************************************************

~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~

Living miracles

When people abuse alcohol and other drugs month after month, it seems that only a miracle can take them out of their depths of despair. But the miracle is not having a great vision or experience. Rather we need only do our daily task.

If we practice patience, faith, and love amidst the turmoil of the day, we will have great opportunity for a clean, joyful life. If we practice the needs of the spirit, we will become our own living miracles.

Am I living spiritually?

Higher Power, may I act more in your spirit in my daily activities.

I will practice living spiritually today by

God help me to stay clean and sober today!

**************************************************

~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~

Gossip is the opiate of the oppressed.

~ ERICA JONG ~

Newcomer

Someone I know in this fellowship announced to me that she’s not a gossip, then proceeded to ask my advice about a personal situation involving another member of the fellowship. I jumped right into it; I know gossip is wrong, but I was flattered to be taken into her confidence. Now, whenever I see the person who was gossiped about, I think about what I heard.

Sponsor

Gossip and criticism of others is often described as harm-less, but it is not. It harms everyone concerned: the gossiper, those who hear him or her, and the person gossiped about. It divides us from one another, fostering an “us against them” mentality that threatens the basis of recovery— threatens our acknowledgment of a common problem, our need for sharing and identification with others, our commitment to group unity and welfare. When we take other people’s inventories, we lose sight of our own; it’s not healthy for our recovery.

If we’re not sure how to handle a people problem we’re facing, we may need to reason things out with someone we trust. Crossing the boundary into gossip or character assassination, however, is something we can learn to live without.

Today, I respect the power of words. I use them for healing, rather than harm.

**************************************************

~ THE EYE OPENER ~

One reason is the creator of all our conditions of life, whether they be legitimate or illegitimate. We think ourselves into stormy and turbulent living just as surely as we think ourselves into peace and serenity.

Our stinking drinking was as much a product of our stinking thinking as was our stinking thinking the result of our stinking drinking.

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~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~

IN FELLOWSHIP

Whatever is true, whatever is noble,
Whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely,
Whatever is unselfish‒if anything is useful or praiseworthy‒
I will think about such things.
The things I have learned and received and heard and seen in
Our Fellowship and Program, I will practice, and the God of
My understanding will be with me.

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~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~

THAT ILLOGICAL FELLOW

People sometimes say, "l believe firmly in the spiritual teaching, and I have done so for years, but I have never been able to make it work−isn't that strange?" And sometimes they say this with quite an air of triumph.

Such people remind me of a man who used to boast that he had an ailment that no one could heal. He had successfully defied every school of healing and had emerged triumphantly still in possession of his affliction. As it happens, his wife did heal him later on by prayer alone, but she was a patient and persevering woman. That man's wife probably points the way to the overcoming of such illogicality. The key to success lies in just the qualities that she obviously had; patience combined with a gentle and unhurried expectation of success.

The patient whom she healed is not a rare specimen, nor is he unknown to any one of us. We are all likely to encounter him under our own hat at any moment!

I know thy works, and. charity, and service, and faith, and thy patience, and thy works . . . (Revelation 2:19).

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~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~

Good News

Your defenses will not work, but you are not in danger.

~ A Course in Miracles ~

At a cavalry outpost in the Old West, two soldiers vigilantly fended off an Indian attack, determined to fight to the death if necessary. One of the soldiers tapped the other on the shoulder and informed him, "l have good news, and I have bad news. The bad news is that we are out of ammunition, and there are no reinforcements."

"Then what's the good news?" asked the other soldier.

"There are no Indians."

We may spend much of our life trying to protect ourselves against the calamities that threaten to destroy us. We may invest vast amounts of time, energy, and effort to armor ourselves against people, institutions, and ideas that we believe have the power to take away our good. Yet if we would step back for even a moment and call to question the power we have ascribed to evil, we would find that our entire defense strategy was based on a faulty premise. "Logic" has been defined as " a system of reasoning by which you arrive at the wrong conclusion with confidence." lf we build our world on fear, every action that follows on its heels will result in self-diminution because we erected our world on a misunderstanding.

What actions do you undertake in the name of self-defense? Do they truly bring you more peace, or do they edify your sense of powerlessness and abandonment? I chuckle as I read magazine ads for radar detectors. Every year the companies come out with a new method to outwit current state-of-the-art police technology, and the next year the police invent new methods for overriding the latest radar detectors. Like the Mad magazine cartoon, "Spy Versus Spy," everyone is trying to trick everyone else, and no one ever wins.

We are most powerful when we give up trying to defend ourselves and allow Spirit to take care of us.

Help me to let go of my human defenses and rely on You for my safety and support.

The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want.

[bluidkiti]

June 10

Step by Step

Today, whether a veteran or newcomer to the program or how many or few few 24 Hours of sobriety I have, give me courage to trust enough to reach out to share my experiences, worries, fears and foibles. And in so doing, perhaps I can dent the wall of self-isolation that I built in my drinking days but might still stand despite putting those drinking days in the past. Self-imposed isolation and loneliness became habitual because of alcohol, and the habit of being constantly on guard might remain a formidable one to change. Let my history remind me that, when I first came to the program, I was greeted by people who made me feel less helpless, less hopeless, less afraid, less lonely. If now I grapple with some issue that I don't think anyone would understand or wants to be saddled with, let me realize that the weight of what I carry might lessen if for no other reason than receiving support from the same people who welcomed me when I gave up alcohol. Today, left me chip away at the wall of any self-isolation that remains. And our common journey continues. Step by step. - Chris M.

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~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~

PEOPLE-PLEASING

Formula for failure: trying to please everyone.

~ Anonymous ~

It has done us no good to set standards we could not reach. On many occasions, we adopted goals that couldn’t be reached from the beginning. We allowed our identities to become tied in with pleasing people. If we suffered rejection, we collapsed into a quivering heap. Each time we wrapped ourselves up in a package for someone to pass judgment on, we set ourselves up for failure.

We know we are not God. We must realize no other human being is God, either. We can't ask any person to judge us. We can't judge anyone else. The foundation of our Program is the decision we made in Step Three to turn our wills and lives over to the care of God. This is the formula for success. Try pleasing God, not other people.

I can't build my life and recovery on always trying to please others. My road to success is pleasing my Higher Power.

©1990 by Anonymous. All rights reserved. Published by Hazelden.

**************************************************

~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~

I felt angry toward my friend.
I told my wrath. My wrath did end.
I felt angry toward my foe.
I told him not. My wrath did grow.

~ William Blake ~

A basic fact of our human nature is that expressing our feelings helps resolve them. When we push them down or keep them hidden, we preserve them and save them up, and sometimes the pressure only makes them grow. Many of us are afraid that expressing our feelings will make things worse. We have learned that we are capable of suppressing our feelings to smooth situations over. However, those feelings come out later, either through uncontrolled outrage or as problems with our health.

A good relationship only grows deeper and more trusting when we express our feelings to each other. It may feel awkward or risky to tell a loved one that we feel hurt, but when we say it respectfully, we can expect a respectful reply. When we have good methods of communication, our relationships grow stronger and deeper with each passing year.

When I feel anger, I will express it respectfully.

**************************************************

~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~

Pain and chaos in my life gives me a chance for transformation.

~ Carlotta Posz ~

Most of us are sharing this recovery journey because the pain of chemical dependency had become more than we could bear. If the pain had been more easily tolerated, we would have continued drinking or using other drugs, perhaps for many years. Today we can be grateful for that pain. We can see the daily evidence of what this new way of life means. We are being transformed.

But what about the pain we feel when we fail to get a job we want? Or the pain we feel when a relationship dissolves? It’s not easy to remember that these pains, too, promise us growth and transformation. We may fail to remember that our Higher Power is in charge and that the sometimes painful changes are part of God’s plan. We’d have changed very littie if left to our own devices.

Trusting God to continue charting our course sometimes feels painful, but only until we remember that the pain means God is nudging us into growth.

If I am feeling some pain today, maybe God thinks it’s time for me to make some changes. I will try to under-stand God’s will throughout this day.

**************************************************

~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~

I want to know my moods

I'm not sure what's going on. I worry that I'm heading for more problems. Even though I'm abstinent, going to meetings, and taking my meds, I have these bleak stretches of two or three days. They're getting me down.

But a fellow program member gave me a good tip. She said that when she feels bad and doesn't know why, she takes time out to carefully review the day (or the past couple of days). She lists each emotionally significant event and asks herself how she feels about it, particularly about her part in it. We talked further and I saw how this process could help me learn what I've been thinking so I can understand what I'm feeling. Then I'll be able to decide what, if anything, to do next.

Today I will sit down for five minutes to practice listening to my thinking and try to learn what I'm feeling.

*************************************************

~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~

I'm finally learning how to take care of myself.

~ George P. ~

Giving to others is perhaps the most gratifying feeling of all. We get so much more back from others — thanks, self-esteem, that warm glow we all love. So why don’t we thank ourselves that way? Are we ungrateful for the loving gifts we bring to ourselves? Is someone else’s opinion of us more important than our own?

We can turn that around, learn to give and accept self-gifts as graciously as we give to others. We can begin by offering some praise for the good things we do for ourselves. Good nutrition can be a boring grind, or it can be something we give to ourselves to strengthen our bodies. Tasks to complete can fill us with dread, or we can think ahead to how good we’ll feel afterward to have accomplished so much.

When we’re willing to admit we’re worthy of love we begin to be able to do these small things for ourselves. We begin to recognize how loving we are, and we bring that joyous new love to others, too.

Today help me to give and accept love freely.

**************************************************

~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~

I read somewhere that everybody on this planet is separated by only six other people. Six degrees of separation between us and everyone else on this planet. The President of the United States, a gondolier in Venice, just fill in the names.

~ John Guare ~

Six degrees of separation—a concept originally conceived by Frigyes Karinthy and made popular by play-wright John Guare—refers to the idea that socialization in the modern world has resulted in ever-increasing connections. It becomes apparent that people are more linked with one another than they realize.

Facebook, Twitter, blogs, and other social media pro-vide places for discovering and enhancing such connections. They are like technological coffee shops where people feel comfortable gathering together to share their personal lives. But sometimes this sharing can be too open and too personal. The pseudo-anonymity afforded by social media sites can present serious issues with privacy. This is especially true for members of Alcoholics Anonymous.

It is especially important to safeguard the anonymity of others on any social media sites you frequent. While you may choose to discuss thoughts, feelings, and opinions of your own, you should never include the names of other program members or information about them or their lives.

Today I will respect the confidentiality of others in the program.

**************************************************

~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~

I wish there were windows to my soul, so that you could see some of my feelings.

~ Artemus Ward ~

Wouldn't it be great if people could see our feelings? All we'd have to do is walk into a room and someone could say, "l see you're feeling sad right now. Let me help you."

Many of us grew up expecting people to be mind readers. Without voicing our feelings or asking for help, we believed people should be able to see how we felt. When they didn't, we usually became angry, hurt, or depressed. Until someone pointed this out to us, we never recognized how silent we were and how great our expectations were of others.

Unless we voice our feelings, they will never be heard. And unless we ask for help, we will never get assistance. The people in our lives have ears to listen and arms to hold us−if we choose to open the windows to our soul.

I can tell someone how I feel. I can ask for help if I need it. If those around me seem to be upset, I can be there for them but I will not try to be a mind reader.

**************************************************

~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~

Being foolish

Many of us could say that what we have gained from this program we’ve gained in spite of ourselves. We get in our own way and often block ourselves from our Higher Power and fellow addicts. In the beginning, we did foolish things such as going to places where drugs or alcohol are used, deliberately setting ourselves up to take that first drink or drug.

Even when we make such mistakes, God still accepts us. We can still choose to pray and ask for help. Even with our foolish moments, in spite of ourselves, God will help if we ask.

Am I becoming less foolish these days?

Higher Power, help me become more aware of my own foolish thoughts, and help me avoid acting on them.

Today I will try to stay out of my own way by

God help me to stay clean and sober today!

**************************************************

~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~

Nothing so needs reforming as other people’s habits.

~ MARK TWAIN ~

Newcomer

There’s someone who comes to my favorite meeting, sits in the front, and always puts his hand up. When he gets called on, I groan inwardly. I think he’s mentally ill. He tells wild, unbelievable tales of his past, an exaggerated mix of fame and glory, degradation and violence. This man ruins the meetings. I don’t understand how other people put up with him or why they keep calling on him.

Sponsor

In the course of recovery, I’ve heard sharing I found obnoxious. I’ve taken others’ inventories all through some meetings. This one doesn’t belong, that one talks too much, another gives unsober advice. Worse, the chairperson won’t cut these nuisances off. Shouldn’t there be more rules?

In fact, we do have simple suggestions that we trust people to follow. Our most important suggestion is that members have a desire to stop drinking (or using food, drugs, codependency—whichever addictive substance or behavior is the focus of a particular fellowship). Another, from the guidelines of most groups, is that no one may disrupt a meeting.

If a meeting can continue without fanfare or judgment, then no one’s thoughts are “disruptive.” It’s not up to us to say who qualifies to be in a room of recovery; we can decide that only about ourselves. Over time, I’ve become more tolerant of others’ eccentricities. I’m grateful that my own differences, too, are accepted in this place of unconditional love.

Today, I keep the focus on myself and my recovery. I make a commitment to begin to know myself more intimately.

**************************************************

~ THE EYE OPENER ~

The man who has the greatest trouble in getting our program is frequently the man who is above the average in education. He tries to open the door to our philosophy of living with his Phi Beta Kappa key. It just won’t fit.

The man who enters our door convinced that all he knows hasn’t been enough to keep him out of difficulty, who is willing to unlearn all those things he knows that are not so, and who, in humility, is willing to open his mind in heart to the simple wisdom of those who have succeeded where he has failed, is almost a sure bet.

**************************************************

~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~

SURRENDER PRAYER (OXFORD GROUP, 1934)

I surrender to You my entire life, O God.
I have made a mess of it, trying to run it myself
You take it‒the whole thing‒and run it for me,
According to Your will and plan.

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~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~

CAN HAPPINESS BE FOUND?

Volumes have been written on the secret of happiness, but I like the simple old story that has been told so often. In the old days, there was a king who was so miserable and unhappy that he called together all of his soothsayers, magicians, and other court advisers to find a remedy. They tried all sorts of methods to rouse the king out of his deep despair−but alas, to no avail. Finally, one of them suggested that a search be made for the happiest man in the kingdom, for it was thought that if the king could put on the man's undershirt, he would become happy too. In due course, the happiest man in the kingdom was found. But, of course, he had never even owned an undershirt. His happiness sprang from within.

And ye shall seek me, and find me, when ye shall search for me with all your heart (Jeremiah 29:13).

**************************************************

~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~

The Pig of God

Trust would settle every problem now.

~ A Course in Miracles ~

As a man was driving around a dangerous hairpin mountain curve, a woman in a little red sports car tore around the bend from the opposite direction, cutting him off and forcing him to veer off the road. To add insult to injury, as the woman sped by, she yelled “Pig!” Furious, the man shook his fist at her and shouted, “Sow!” He kept going around the curve, where he ran into a pig sitting on his side of the road.

Sometimes when it appears that life is attacking us, it is trying to help us. Those who challenge us bring us valuable life lessons that we might miss if we are caught up in feeling insulted or unappreciated. Imagine that everyone you meet is here to assist you to go deeper into your wisdom, healing, and joy. Do not be fooled by appearances; use your higher vision until you find gold.

When I attended a lecture by Ram Dass, he announced that several people in the audience needed rides to a nearby city. When no one in the auditorium raised their hand to offer assistance, he added, “And the person you take in your car may be the Christ or Buddha in disguise." Immediately, half a dozen hands went up! Cultivate the ability to say, "Thank you for everything," and you will find that everything is a gift.

Open my vision to see the gifts I have been missing.
Open my heart to love in situations I judged as unlovable.

I name all things "good," and I welcome life as a brilliant teacher.

[bluidkiti]

June 11

Step by Step

Today, I will not fight anything and everything that comes my way, nor will I question why or complain that something is just another thing added to what I think is already a heavy burden. Today, I will simply be and accept what may come and ask God for His will to handle it and, if He deems, to let Him deal with it, and hopefully I might gain insight that I may be fighting myself needlessly and making sobriety and recovery a lot more complicated than they have to be. And if I continue to worry about something that is of valid and serious concern, I will trust unconditionally that my higher power will give me what I need to get through it even if how I want it to be resolved is not how He intends. Today, I will simply be and will not fight or plan for some crisis that may never be. I am. And our common journey continues. Step by step. - Chris M.

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~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~

CHOICES

Before I came to the Program, I had no choice. I had to use. Now I have a choice.

~ Anonymous ~

One of the freedoms we enjoy is that of making choices. Only experience and the advice of others who are wiser than we can determine if our choices are right. Even if some are risky, we cannot settle for being wishy-washy. Straddling issues achieves nothing. .Bad choices can be corrected by second chances. There is no shame in delaying a choice while we examine all possibilities.

C.H.O.I.C.E. is Courage, Humility, Optimism, Industry, Caution, and Energy. When we choose recovery, we use all of these things. And the end result is H.A.P.P.I.N.E.S.S.: Humility, Awakening, Plenty, Program, Insight, New life, Excitement, Spirituality, and Serenity.

There is no “right” choice, only choices made after asking my Higher Power for direction and listening carefully for the answer. If I do that correctly and the choice still seems “wrong,” then I haven’t understood God’s will for me.

**************************************************

~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~

In everyone’s heart stirs a great homesickness.

~ Rabbi Seymour Siegel ~

We ask ourselves, what drove us to do some of the things we did? We went to extremes when we knew our actions were not rational. Even today, we are drawn to extremes. At times we still long for things that we know will hurt us. Are we puzzled by these desires?

Wise men and prophets have searched their own deep truths to understand their desires and longings. Many say that our desires and hungers are, at the base of our being, a search for a spiritual home, a place where we know we are welcome, safe, and loved. Perhaps we are all born longing for that home. Maybe we first taste it when we first experience the warmth of loving and caring parents, even when it was only a taste, and only partially satisfied. Then we spend the rest of our lives in pursuit of that good feeling again.

The wisdom of the Twelve Steps points us toward that spiritual home. A lifetime of growth and development follows in which we feel the spirit in our fellowship with other men and women, and we learn from others how they have found their way home.

Today the stirring in my heart will be a sign of my spiritual longing.

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~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~

I am learning to nourish myself with affirmations. By adding a few short sentences each week, I am able to create a repository of truths to draw upon.

~ Laurel Lewis ~

Through our friends in recovery we are learning that we have always been lovable, even though we may have grown up in families where love was seldom expressed. We have been told that Mom and Dad raised us to the best of their ability, but that does not mean that we were given the affirmations or the gentle guidance that we needed as youngsters. Our parents were not able to pass on what they didn’t have, and old patterns die hard.

We are breaking the old patterns now. We are in recovery and learning to give ourselves the affirmations and gentle guidance that we failed to get from our families. We are sharing our personal stories and being loved for it. We are getting the positive strokes we deserve from friends. We are telling ourselves that we’re worthy of respect, love, and all the good that the universe holds.

I will create at least one affirmation today that will help me move in a more positive direction.

**************************************************

~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~

I want to become more assertive

One important issue I am working on in my dual recovery is assertiveness. I am tired of the anger and shame I feel when I don't speak up for myself or when I don't say what I want.

I believe I'm afraid to speak up‒perhaps because I'm afraid that if I do I'll hurt someone or perhaps I'll end up being hurt or rejected. (or even emotionally attacked). But through my support groups I'm learning two big things: (a) I have more courage and strength than I thought, and (b) people can take care of themselves.

I will practice saying what I think and what I want with two safe people: for starters, my therapist and my sponsor.

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~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~

Afoot and lighthearted I take to the open road,
Healthy, free, the world before me,
The long, brown path before me, leading wherever
I choose.

~ Walt Whitman ~

Being able to make free, healthy choices is a great gift and one that requires careful thought. The greatest choice we have made is our desire to live a sober life. It was a difficult one, but one that will lead us to other healthy choices. Living one day at a time, we choose what is important in our lives and what is not. We learn to make healthy decisions — those decisions which promote our recovery and a peaceful life. It helps to remember that we are human; just because we are sober doesn’t mean we will always make the right choice. Working our program gives us all the tools we need to make choices for who we are and what we are to become.
But if we fall back into our old behavior and make some bad decisions, we will learn from those, too. Growth comes not only with success but with failure, too. Now, our mistakes can help us grow and become stronger every day.

Today let me choose from my heart what is best for my recovery.

**************************************************

~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~

My defenses were so great. The cocky rock and roll hero who knows all the answers was actually a terrified guy who didn’t know how to cry.

~ John Lenon ~

When you choose to suppress, rather than express, your feelings, they have a tendency to emerge in other ways. You may be able to keep them under control for a while, but eventually they will build up like the steam in a pressure cooker and reach a point where they need to be released. This is especially true when you are afraid. Fear can sometimes escalate into a panic attack, particularly during stressful times.

Whenever you feel fear, remember that you are not the first or only person to feel scared or anxious in recovery. Then ask yourself, “What am I afraid of?” By taking a more rational, analytical approach to your fear—even by making a list of those things that scare you—you will gain greater understanding of what frightens you.

Perhaps you are afraid you will fail in your recovery. Maybe you are terrified to think about your childhood and stir up memories you have long suppressed. Or maybe you are anxious about making amends to someone. Identify what it is you are afraid of—and then conquer your fear by taking action.

No matter what I do today, I will not allow myself to be paralyzed by fear or anxiety.

**************************************************

~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~

So I can't sink down and let the time of my real being take me, for if I try and for a moment can see no direction, cannot tell where I am going I am filled with panic, scared of emptiness. I must be doing something. . . .

~ Joanna Field ~

Imagine for a moment that we have no plans for tomorrow. No job to get up for or classes to attend, no errands to run. At first we may think this is delightful, but we need to think back to the last occasion we had time to spend alone.

Did we sit comfortably, clearing our minds of all thought and tension to listen to our inner selves? Or did we immediately turn on the television, reach for a book, or aimlessly putter?

We may be afraid to sit alone in our stillness. Yet when we allow our inner selves to be heard without background noise or the diversions of projects or hobbies, we will begin to discover our inner thoughts are creative and stimulating and intuitive. We will begin to discover ourselves.

Tonight I can take fifteen minutes to lie quietly with myself. If I have to ask what I will think about, I know I can Let Go and Let God.

**************************************************

~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~

Being an addict

Sometimes people feel more qualified to be members of the program because they feel they have suffered more physical deprivation. But this does not really matter: An addict is an addict, pain is pain, suffering is suffering.

You can be an addict and suffer whether you have holes in your pants or a new suit, an empty belly or a full one.

Do I realize that addiction and suffering are a state of mind?

Higher Power, help me see that pain is pain and that I cannot judge it for anyone.

Today I will help those who still suffer, whether rich or poor, by

God help me to stay clean and sober today!

**************************************************

~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~

I take a breath when I have to.

~ ETHEL MERMAN ~

Newcomer

There’s someone in my life for whose welfare I’m responsible. I feel frustrated and angry. I’m doing what I’m supposed to do, but I’m not getting much cooperation. Today, I feel invisible.

Sponsor

Caregiving, whether of a new baby, an older child, a sick partner or friend, or an aging parent, is demanding work under any circumstances. Some of us have full-time jobs caring for others—we’re parents, nurses, medical aides, social workers, therapists, pastors, teachers. Many of us have no choice but to continue in our roles as caregivers, even while we’re going through the immense upheaval of early recovery.

If we find ourselves enjoying the taste of martyrdom, it’s time to air out our egos. Part of our work in recovery is learning to have respect for our physical and emotional limitations, avoiding resentment and burnout. We may need to get to a meeting and let off some steam. We may need to take time for a walk, a swim, a nap, or something that nurtures us and recharges our batteries. We may need to let go of our perfectionism.

Today, there’s only one thing I need to do perfectly, and that is to stay away from my drug of choice.

**************************************************

~ THE EYE OPENER ~

Don’t kid yourself, pal. You want to drink but you can’t. You never can. Admit it. Accept it−then forget it.

You can get sobriety−so get it, keep it and like it.

It’s as simple as that.

**************************************************

~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~

RIGHT LIVING

From the cowardice that dare not face new truth
From the laziness that is contented with half-truth
From the arrogance that thinks it knows all truth,
Good Lord, deliver me.

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~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~

CASH THAT BILL!

Within you is an inexhaustible source of power, if you can but contact it. That power can heal you, and it can inspire you by telling you what to do and how to do it. It can give you peace of mind, and, above all, it can give you direct knowledge of God. That power is scientific prayer. There is no problem that prayer cannot overcome and no good thing that it cannot bring into your life.

This is the message of the whole Bible. It was summed up by Jesus when he said,

. . . the kingdom of God is within you (Luke 17:21).

This truth was dramatically illustrated by an incident in real life. The body of a tramp, clad in rags, was discovered near a lime kiln where he had evidently crept for warmth. After the autopsy his clothes were torn up to be put into the incinerator, and sewn into the lining of the trousers was a bank note for a large amount. Unquestionably the original owner of the suit had had ir sewn in there for safety, and for some unknown reason lost track of it.
Consider the situation! This poor hobo had sat down many a time to lukewarm coffee−and all the time he was sitting on a thousand dollars. People may have plenty of money and yet be hoboes for health or happiness or spiritual experience. Riches do not become wealth until they are realized. Cash your bill at the Bank of Heaven and make it productive.

But my God shall supply all your need. . . (Philippians 4: 19).

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~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~

Fearless

I am at home. Fear is the stranger here.

~ A Course in Miracles ~

In the film Fearless, Jeff Bridges portrays a man named Max who narrowly escapes death in a plane crash. In surrendering to imminent death, he loses all fear, and when he goes on with his life, he finds himself unafraid in a world motivated by mistrust and deception. His lawyer wants him to lie to exact a larger settlement from the airline company; his wife cannot handle the truth he is now unafraid to tell about their numb relationship; and his psychologist thinks he has gone mad (while he has actually gone sane).

In a poignant scene, Max momentarily gives in to pressure to lie, which leaves him painfully contracted. To vent the horror he feels, he climbs onto the roof of a tall building and screams at the top of his lungs. Watching this symbolic scene, I wondered how loud would be the cries of humanity if we all went up on a roof and screamed at the top of our lungs in proportion to the pain and constriction we have experienced by living in ways that are inconsistent with our true nature.

Fear is not our ordained condition. Psychologists tell us that infants are born with only two fears-that of falling, and loud noises; every other fear is learned. Fear is not a reality, because if it were, everyone would be afraid of the same things.

To live in fear is not natural, and neither is it our destiny. Our destiny is to live in peace and express joy. Dump fear by trusting life to provide for you as you live your truth.

Help me to see beyond the illusion of fear and walk in strength and freedom.

Love is my nature. My trust manifests miracles.

[bluidkiti]

June 12

Step by Step

"When we became alcoholics, crushed by a self-imposed crisis we could not postpone or evade, we had to fearlessly face the proposition that either God is everything or else He is nothing. God either is, or He isn't. What was our choice to be?" - Alcoholics Anonymous, 3rd Edition, 1976, Ch 4 ("We Agnostics"), p 53.

Today, if asked by an agnostic or atheist how I know a higher power exists, what will be my answer? Because the program suggests surrender to a power greater than ourselves, I need only look into my yesterdays to understand that the power of alcohol was greater than me and, if something can be so strong as to knock me into the deepest and darkest of gutters, can there not be a power that can lift me to heights I have never reached? If this comparison of polar entities does not strike a cord, I need only remember that I already know the power of alcohol - and it took from me literally everything. Maybe on blind faith I can at least hope - if not believe - that something adverse is more powerful, strong enough to at least give me courage to start anew. What have I got to lose? Today, I seek the courage to make a leap of faith and seek a power stronger than alcohol. And our common journey continues. Step by step. - Chris M.

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~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~

FRUSTRATION

Nothing is unthinkable, nothing impossible to the balanced person, provided it arises out of the needs of life and is dedicated to life's further developments.

~ Lewis Mumford ~

In recovery we walk one foot in front of the other. We live life One Day at a Time. We Live and Let Live. These slogans we have in the Program help with the frustrations we experience in everyday living. The fact of the matter is, most of us have spent so many years forcing our will on each situation that it is difficult to stop

It takes practice and patience to slow down and let life come to us, rather than rushing off to "make things happen." Our Higher Power has a sense of time and timing that will be revealed to us slowly. Frustration will not move a clock forward, change a traffic light from red to green, or make us younger. Frustration will only block our serenity.

The Steps teach me that it is sometimes necessary to do absolutely nothing. I can hear better when I am quiet.

**************************************************

~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~

When the truth is told lovingly, with insight and compassion, you can say anything.

~ Shawnee Undell ~

There are times when we know something, or we have a difficult thing to say to someone, and we can’t see how we could possibly speak it. Perhaps today our spouse or dear friend has done something we feel upset about, or perhaps someone at work is doing something that we need to discuss with him or her.

When we have a hard message to deliver, we don’t have to speak it harshly. We can say almost anything to someone if we can put our arm around that person, figuratively speaking. Naturally, we can’t always expect to be received with open arms when our message is hard to hear. A sensitive or painful truth sometimes is the valuable gift that only we as friends can deliver. We don’t even have to be right; what is required it that we are sincere.

Today I will look for loving and compassionate ways to say my truth.

**************************************************

~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~

I only have to be what I am, no more, no less.

~ Robbie Rocheford ~

Feeling that we are not good enough is common among women everywhere, not just among those of us who are in recovery. Often we wonder how we first got this feeling of inadequacy. We search our memories for experiences and people to blame. Other people’s expectations, our shame, and the searing events of the past no doubt left an imprint on us. We are, unquestionably, the sum and substance of all we have known.

What we need to know today is that we are unconditionally loved and accepted just as we are, not only by the friends who surround us now but also by our Higher Power. We are learning to recognize the boundaries between us and those walking our path; this empowers us to let go of others’ judgments and be more accepting of ourselves.

It gives me real joy to believe that I am okay. By affirming this belief often, I will imprint it on my mind.

**************************************************

~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~

I am slowly accepting myself

With my dual disorder it seems I have lost some of my abilities. I can’t concentrate, sleep, or remember as well these days. There are times I can't go to work, eat my regular foods, or even drive a car.

I can’t do much of anything except work on my recovery. That's hard-but it's also good. Because in my heart I know that recovery is what I need to concentrate on. As I get stronger, I trust that much of my life will fall back into place again.

I will write out an affirmation that says, "I accept the way I am these days." I could even say it out loud, looking at myself in the mirror.

*************************************************

~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~

Loneliness is caused by an alienation from life.
It is a loneliness from your real self.

~ Maxwell Maltz ~

There is a vast difference between being alone and being lonely. To be alone but in touch with ourselves can be very rewarding. But to many of us, the isolation and alienation we feel in our loneliness are devastating. To feel that we have no one, not even ourselves to depend on, can lead to despair.

Belonging to a group that shares our pain and has lived through our experiences will help end our isolation from ourselves. A Twelve Step group validates our feelings, shares our grief, helps us learn to love and trust our Higher Power, and shares our hope for the future. A group can also be the source for a sponsor, someone we can always go to. Instead of feeling different, as we have for so long, in our group we have a place to feel a part of others, and to accept ourselves.

Continuing to be a part of this fellowship, we learn how to accept who we are, and we learn that being alone with our true self can be a creative and joyful process in recovery.

Today help me be grateful for all those who so freely give of their love and support.

**************************************************

~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~

Efficiency is intelligent laziness.

~ David Dunham ~

The invention of the modern sandwich is attributed to John Montagu, the Fourth Earl of Sandwich. As the story goes, Montagu was hungry but did not want to stop playing cards. He ordered his servant to bring him meat between two slices of bread so his fingers would not get greasy and he could continue to gamble while eating.

Whether truth or legend, what is considered to be accurate is that Montagu held a number of important positions of power throughout his lifetime. Yet he was viewed as so incompetent and corrupt that it was suggested his epitaph read, “Seldom has any man held so many offices and accomplished so little.”

Do you approach your recovery with determination, or with laziness? After attending 90 meetings in 90 days, you may begin tapering off from such diligence. Upon completion of your work on one of the Steps, you may focus your attention outside the program. Or as you accumulate days free from your habit, you may go about your day-to-day life thinking you are “cured.”

Recovery requires your time and attention. It requires you to do all of the work necessary to develop your knowledge and skills so that you can become not just a sober person, but a better person.

Today I will do the work I need to do in recovery.

**************************************************

~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~

Use what talents you have; the woods would have little music if no birds sang their song except those who sang best.

~ Rev. Oliver G. Wilson ~

The perfectionist in all of us gives us some pretty harsh criticism. It tells the photographer in us we'll never be Ansel Adams. It tells the writer in us we'll never be Charles Dickens. It tells the businessperson in us we'll never be Henry Ford. It tells the parent in us we'll never have the perfect family.

This perfectionist has an uncanny way of making us feel inferior to all who have gone before us. Such condemnations may hurt our creativity and abilities so much that we decide to give up trying to be good at anything. So we fail before we begin.

How do we know we won't be good at what we do? We certainly won't be Ansel Adams or anybody else because they've already existed. But we can be ourselves and use our talents to do our best. We may become famous and successful, or we may not. But we won't know unless we try. With our talents and determination, we can achieve splendid things. But we won't know unless we try.

What are my talents? I can develop these talents not in imitation of another but with curiosity about what I can do.

**************************************************

~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~

Letting go of our defects

We’re not like everyone else. We demand attention. We would die if we found out we’re not the center of a few lives. We want reassurances that we’re coming across as the generous, honorable people we are striving to become, but we soon realize that character defects and self-centeredness still plague us.

When we get a glimpse from time to time of how others see us, it can be a dreadful, painful experience. If it weren’t for the loving attitude of our fellow addicts, many of us could not endure it. But the growth process is worth the pain as we find out that we’re gradually becoming the generous, honorable people that we want to be.

Am I letting go of my defects?

Higher Power, help me to see myself as I truly am to begin to let go of my character defects.

Today I will work on self-centeredness by

God help me to stay clean and sober today!

**************************************************

~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~

Above all, anger needs to be felt so it can be talked through, understood and integrated, rather than acted out. In this way, it cleanses the self.

~ TIAN DAYTON ~

Newcomer

Today I felt so angry at someone who was chattering on and on that I just wanted to smash something. I hardly even know this person, and I have no idea why I feel such fury or what to do about it.

Sponsor

Anger isn’t necessarily logical. Sometimes a little thing, a seemingly harmless word or a look, ignites anger that is al-ready inside us. In the early days of my recovery, this happened so frequently that I began to sense that I was constantly carrying a load of anger; it didn’t take much to set it off. My sponsor said, “Of course you’re angry—you can’t have your addictive substance anymore!”

Wherever it comes from, we don’t have to deny our anger or judge it. But going over and over it, feeding it, letting it turn into an obsession, can be painful. There are many safe ways to discharge anger without hurting our-selves or others: we can share it at a meeting or with a counselor; we can write about it, or we can get some good physical exercise, like running or vigorous walking, to release tension and keep things flowing through us.

Whether or not my anger makes sense today, I don’t deny it and I don’t whip it up. I acknowledge it, and I find a safe setting in which to release it.

**************************************************

~ THE EYE OPENER ~

If we mean it when we say “Thy will be done,” then what God wills is what we will. Happy and sober will be the man or woman who aquires this frame of mind.

If you want all your prayers answered your way, then let your way be God’s way.

Too frequently we get God and Santa Claus mixed up.

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~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~

PEACE IN OUR HEARTS

Our Creator, show us the way of patience, tolerance,
And kindness. Grant us power in our love,
Strength in our humility,
Clarity in our thinking,
Purity in our zeal,
Sincerity in our purpose,
Kindness in our laughter,
Value in our gratitude,
Compassion in our friendships,
And Your peace in our hearts at all times.

*************************************************

~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~

USE WHAT YOU HAVE

Many people say to me, "l want to get on faster. I want more understanding." And as a rule they go on to ask for a list of books to read or some "advanced course" that they can take.

This attitude is quite mistaken. It implies that spiritual advancement is a question of intellectual activity-of the mere accretion of knowledge. That is true in the study of mathematics, or of physics, or chemistry, but it is not true in metaphysics' Spiritual growth comes from putting into practice the knowledge we already possess. Instead of reading another book, read your favorite book once more and apply it more carefully than ever in your practical life.

Metaphysics, like music, is both a science and an art. In metaphysics it is absolutely true that you learn by doing.

. . . be ye doers of the word, and not hearers only . . . (James 1:22).

**************************************************

~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~

Tigers or Strawberries

The past is a cancelled check, the future is a promissory note, and the present is cash in hand.

~ Anonymous ~

A man being chased by wild tigers scurried down a vine hanging over the edge of a cliff. Looking down, he saw two more hungry tigers waiting for him at the bottom of the vine. Unable to move backward or forward, he noticed a succulent, ripe red strawberry growing out of the side of the cliff near him. He smiled, plucked the fruit, and enjoyed the sweetest strawberry he had ever tasted.

While our past and future seem to threaten us, we can take refuge in the current moment. Anxiety springs from regret or resentment over past events or fear of anticipated pain. When we relax into the now moment, we are not vulnerable to the past or future, and we discover that eternity is a golden necklace strung of an infinite number of present moments. We can live quite well on fresh strawberries.

Help me to relax into the beauty of now.

I open my eyes and heart to the miracle of now, and leave time behind.

[bluidkiti]

June 13

Step by Step

"(Alcoholics) have one symptom in common: they cannot start drinking without developing the phenomenon of craving. This phenomenon ...may be the manifestation of an allergy which differentiates these people, and sets them apart as a distinct entity. It has never been ...permanently eradicated. The only relief we have to suggest is entire abstinence." - Alcoholics Anonymous, 3rd Edition, 1976, "The Doctor's Opinion," p xxviii.

Today, no illusion that I may again be able to drink responsibly. The risk is too high, its costs potentially lethal. I will not try "just one" or "controlled" drinking with the myth or desperate thought that I can undo by returning to the thing that ravaged me physically, emotionally and spiritually - alcohol. If the physician is right that we as problem drinkers have a craving for alcohol, any amount of it is paramount to a relapse from which I might not return. Today, I accept that I am an alcoholic, that I cannot play the game of by-passing that fact and, in so doing, I refuse to fuel the craving. Today, I have a choice: I will not drink. And our common journey continues. Step by step. - Chris M.

**************************************************

~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~

The future shall know when it has come; before then, forget it"

~ Aesclhylus ~

The Fellowship keeps us grounded in the current moment. We learn to live today. Our planning and scheming and dreaming about tomorrow becomes less time consuming. The idea of living one day at a time makes sense to us. Our Program teaches us that life is not about to happen, it is happening, and each moment is important.

When we concentrated only on the future, we couldn't be happy with today. We thought if we could only get to tomorrow, things would be better. Tomorrow never comes, so we were always trapped in a hopeless situation. Now we live one day at a time, and grow moment by moment.

Recovery is about today and living life in the present. Since I no longer have to manage the universe, I have only myself to worry about today. I can let my Higher Power take care of tomorrow.

**************************************************

~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~

To the rationally minded, the mental processes of the intuitive appear to work backward. His conclusions are reached before his premises.

~ Frances Wickes ~

Intuition is a valuable form of wisdom that often seems mystical. We lose our keys and can’t find them in any of the usual places and then an idea pops into our mind about where to find them. When we look there, we find them. Only after the fact can we explain— maybe—why that spot came to mind. That’s intuition. Or, on a higher plane, we have a feeling that a certain choice in our life would be a big mistake, or one day, for no clear reason, we expect our partner to tell us something important.

The wisdom of our intuition deserves our great respect. It is a valuable guide. Even though it is not 100 percent accurate, and we cannot expect it to be, we should not violate ourselves by contradicting it. Instead, we grow by developing our intuition, listening to what we imagine and what we feel, and following our instincts. Intuition is another form of spiritual strength.

Today I will listen to my inner feelings about things, even when I don’t immediately understand them rationally.

**************************************************

~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~

Life is like an unbridled horse.

~ Kay Lovatt ~

Many of us thought we knew where we were going after we finished school. We selected a path that fit our personality, we thought. Motherhood, a career, or both. Perhaps a single life or a low-stress job. Our friends suited our choices. So did our homes, our hobbies, our dreams. But then something happened. We didn’t plan on addiction. Our drinking or drug use seemed social, at least initially. Where did the path veer? Why didn’t we see the changes in store?

Life is full of surprises. Many are unwanted at first. But if we’re willing to accept them as opportunities, we can discover greater meaning for our lives. Twelve Step recovery is one of those opportunities. Many new changes are in store. We may no longer know where we are going, but we will get to where we need to be. Let’s hang on and enjoy the ride.

I am on the right course even if I don’t know exactly where it leads. I will let my trusted friends take the lead today.

**************************************************

~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~

I am learning about decisions

These days I'm having trouble making decisions. It's not that I'm deciding to get married or quit my job. It's making simple, everyday choices like what to do next; what to eat; do I call for support or not; do I go for a walk or stay at home and rest. I guess this is part of my emotional illness, but I feel tense and out of control when it happens.

But through my recovery group I am learning one thing that may help me get moving: a decision is not forever. I don't have to feel stuck because I have choices. I can make one choice and later change my mind.

Today I will promptly make two decisions, knowing I have the right to change my mind if I want to.

*************************************************

~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~

Healthy anger—when I defend myself against an attack designed to destroy me — springs from self-respect.

~ Lee M. Silverstein ~

Anger is a way we regain our sense of self- respect and entitlement. We realize now that nothing is worth feeling like a doormat. We naturally feel angry when attacked, but we may lack the skills we need to appropriately channel our feelings. Sometimes confrontation is necessary, other times we are best served by turning things over to our Higher Power. Whatever we need when we are angry, sober living equips us with the tools to identify and share our angry feelings, and to find new options to help us maintain our dignity.

Now we can be thankful for our newfound ability to see more clearly what our anger is about and how we can deal with it. Now we can use and appreciate this healthy internal “alarm system” to grow and change. And we can turn our anger over and let go of lingering resentments on a daily basis.

Today let me share my anger honestly and then let go of it.

**************************************************

~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~

What lies behind you and what lies in front of you pales in comparison to what lies inside of you.

~ Ralph Waldo Emerson ~

Imagine that today represents the starting line to a race. Behind you are the months of training that infused your mind, body, and spirit with great strength and stamina. Ahead of you lies the finish line, at a point you cannot yet see.

You understand that as you race from the starting line to the finish line, you will face many challenges. But no matter what lies ahead of you or what the conditions will be, trust that you have the strength to face it—and to conquer it. Recovery shows you that you have, within you, a strength you never realized you had. This strength is so powerful that it can overcome an addiction. This strength is so dedicated that it can overcome dishonesty. This strength is so determined that it can overcome negativity.

Recovery is a platform from which healthy living springs. What you learn in the program and how you grow in the program is applicable to everything you do. Embrace everything you have learned in your recovery. Let this lead you to the finish line in any task you undertake today.

Recovery is my training program for life. It strengthens me so I can face and conquer any challenge.

**************************************************

~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~

This time, like all times, is a very good one if we but know what to do with it.

~ Ralph Waldo Emerson ~

Is the glass half full or half empty? We know the answer to that question can symbolically reflect whether we have a positive or negative outlook on life. If we see the glass as half empty, we focus on what is gone. But if we say the glass is half full, we see what remains.

If we're full of ideas about how to spend our time, then our outlook is positive and we'll not waste a second. But if we're feeling bored or directionless or lonely, our days may be filled with a lot of negative energy and wasted moments.

Instead of focusing on what we don't have, we can change our attitude and look at what we do have. We have choices about how we want to spend our time. The decisions we make will have a direct bearing on how meaningful each day will be.

How can I change my attitude and make each day full?

**************************************************

~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~

Doing our best

Doing our best takes more time and energy, but the rewards are great. In staying clean and sober, it may mean feeling in tune, feeling committed, feeling successful—in short, serenity.

For many of us the fear of failure keeps us from putting everything we have into living. And when we don’t succeed, we always have the ready excuse, “I wasn’t really trying.” But the more we give to anything, the more we have to give, and the better we feel about ourselves.

Do I always put forth my best effort?

Higher Power, help me to accept my fear and do my best.

I will do my best today— even if I feel afraid—to

God help me to stay clean and sober today!

**************************************************

~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~

All deception is self-deception.

~ SHIRLEY ELIAS ~

Newcomer

I needed a day off so badly last week that I called in sick. Then I felt uncomfortable all day. It reminded me of the way I used to feel when I was active in my addiction. Was what I did so terrible?

Sponsor

Whatever we choose to do has an impact on ourselves and others, and being sober and clear, we’re more aware of that impact. Telling a “harmless” lie in recovery may not affect other people or institutions in the long run as seriously as it affects us. When we lie in recovery, we ourselves suffer the consequences. We have feelings much like those we experienced when we were using. Fear, secrecy, guilt, and low self-esteem isolate us and may lead to our wanting to act out our addictions. Perhaps next time you need a “mental health day” away from work, you’ll ask for a personal day or vacation day instead of setting yourself up for a slip by faking illness.

Honesty in small things as well as large can get to be a habit that simplifies our lives and enhances our recovery. It’s freedom!

Today, my honesty gives me strength as I take actions appropriate to a person in recovery.

**************************************************

~ THE EYE OPENER ~

It takes very much more skill to erect a house than it does to tear one down. Jesus of Nazareth could be crucified but His teachings could not be killed. His influence today exceeds that of all the Caesars, the Hannibals, the Napoleons and the Alexanders rolled into one.

These elementary truths were taught in differing forms by other religious teachers before and after His time. The principles of the Golden Rule are as old as civilization, for it is the very basis of civilization.

**************************************************

~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~

OUR MEETING ROOM DOOR

Dear God,
Make the door of this meeting wide enough
To receive all who need love and fellowship
And narrow enough to shut out
All envy, pride, and hate.
Make its threshold smooth enough
To be no stumbling block to anyone,
Nor to those who have strayed,
But rugged enough to turn back
The tempters power:
Make it a gateway
To Thine eternal kingdom.

*************************************************

~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~

USE THAT BROOM!

A good housekeeper sees to it that dust and din do not accumulate in nooks and comers and on shelves. Periodically, the house is gone over and given a thorough cleaning. Too often in our spiritual lives, we allow negative things to accumulate in the comers of our minds. We tackle the obvious problems as they come along, but allow the small difficulties to pile up in the comers.

For instance, if we are faced with a problem of health or finance, we get to work on that immediately but if, on the other hand, someone has injured us, instead of handling the incident spiritually at the time, we ruck it away and perhaps pack in a little resentment along with it. Such problems should be dealt with as they arise. If someone has injured you, forgive him now, and be done with it. Take care of the other difficulties in like manner.

Be a good housekeeper. Clean out every nook and comer−and God will make you worthy of greater accomplishments in the future.

And he said unto him, Well done , thou good servant: because thou hath been faithful in a very little, have thou authority over ten cities (Luke 19:17).

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~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~

Beyond the Rap

Turn your melodrama into a mellow drama.

~ Ram Dass ~

The Heartbreak Kid is a hilarious film that chronicles the misadventures of a young man named Lenny (played by Charles Grodin) who attempts to bamboozle his way through social situations. When Lenny meets the girl of his dreams (Cybill Shepherd), he tells her, "l think it's time we stopped taking from the earth, and started putting back into it." A good philosophy, to be sure—except that Lenny is full of hot air; he uses the same spiel with everyone he meets.

Eventually, the couple gets married, and the final scene of the film depicts our hero at his wedding reception sitting on a couch between two 10-year-old children. "l think it's time we stopped taking from the earth..." he drones. The kids, bored to tears, look at each other, roll their eyes, and promptly get up and walk away. His rap fails to impress anyone.

Many of us, too, have our "rap"—a story we've told a thousand times. We tell it because it gets us attention, upholds our chosen image (often as a victim), and relieves us of social malaise. But falling back on our rap is always self-defeating because we're hiding behind our story line. We use our rap to escape from being fully present.

lf I find myself telling a particular story based on my drama more than three times, a little "rap alarm" goes off in my head. I recognize that I'm trying to milk the story for more than it's worth, and I'm hurting myself by hiding behind it. I see if I can tell a deeper truth, or just let it go. My rap has become shorter and shorter, and has mostly disappeared, allowing me to be fully present rather than fall back on a story.

Today I walked naked as myself. I discard any armor and allow myself to shine.

The truth about me is greater than any story I could fabricate.

[bluidkiti]

June 14

Step by Step

Today, I can't dismiss my yesterdays of regrets and misconduct completely even though the program suggests we live only for today. It doesn't compel us to ignore our pasts as if they never occurred. While I will not live those days again, I also cannot discard the lessons they have and which might make today better by not repeating them. Maybe somewhere in the midst of all the damage and regret of yesterday there was also something good that can be carried into today, and my misconduct of yesterday can be a warning not to repeat it. Today, I will live for now. But my present - maybe my future, if there is one - might be disciplined if I accept and learn from the hard-edged lessons of yesterday. And our common journey continues. Step by step. - Chris M.

*****

Easy Does It

Truth

Great is truth. Fire cannot burn it nor water drown it. --Dumas

The importance of truth is stressed often during our 12 Step discussions. Truth is the foundation of all knowledge. It is the standard by which our actions are judged. Truth can never be bought. There is no "happy medium" in truth. All things must be either true or false.
Unless an activity begins with truth, it will be impossible to progress successfully. The advice "truth or silence" warns us of the possible harm from hurriedly made statements. Love and kindness must accompany truth even if we, as the giver or receiver, are pained by the truth. Our Program teaches us that truth can do no more than present things as they really exist.

For me to work my Program successfully, I must always work from a foundation of truth.

*****

The Eye Opener

By the grace of God, we alcoholics have acquired certain characteristics that have made us beneficial to the earth. We have become, in fact, the salt of the earth.

If, however, we hoard our savour to ourselves and fail to recognize our responsibility to distribute it to those portions of the earth that need it, then have we indeed lost our savour and it is good for nothing but to be cast out and to be trodden underfoot of men.

Nothing is a blessing unless we put it to some constructive use. The wealth of the world is useless to a starving man on an uninhabited and barren island.

*****

Around The Year with Emmet Fox

Common-sense vocabulary

When you apply a certain word to God, it must bear the same essential meaning as it does when you apply it to man---otherwise it has no meaning at all. When you say that God is Love or intelligence, or that He is just, these words must mean substantially what they mean when applied to human beings. The love of God must be essentially the same thing that we know as the love of the mother for her children, or the love of the artist for his creation, putified and increased to infinity, of course.

Many people say that God is Love, and at the same time maintain that He visits finite sin with eternal punishment. They claim that God is just, and yet maintain that people living today are suffering disabilities for a sin supposed to have been committed by Adam thousands of years before they were born.

The truth is that God is Love and Intelligence; and that He works with perfect wisdom and perfect justice to all, at all times, in the ordinary and correct meaning of these words.

….God is light, and in Him is no darkness at all (1 John 1:15).

He that loveth not knoweth not God; for God is Love (1 John 4:8).

Good and upright is the Lord… (Psalm 25:8).

[bluidkiti]

June 15

Step by Step

Today, a conscious and conscientious effort to be honest in recovery and sobriety just as I was dishonest in my drinking. Sobriety and recovery begin with honesty to "admit (I am) powerless," to confess the nature of my wrongs, and honesty and courage to take responsibility and consequences to the people I hurt. Because recovery requires a turnaround in words, thoughts and actions, I cannot claim any quality recovery if I carry from my drinking days the dishonesty and lies to others and myself into my recovery. Without a basic change in my emotional and spiritual characters, I am little more than a dry drunk if all I do is abstain from drinking. Today, just as lying became habitual in my drinking days, I focus earnestly on making truth a habit to hold onto and nurture. And our common journey continues. Step by step. - Chris M.

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~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~

ACCEPTING OURSELVES

Humility is our acceptance of ourselves.

~ Anonymous ~

It is strange how we can go to school and learn a lot of facts, but never learn much along the way about ourselves. We can take up nursing, teaching, counselling, giving ourselves to the needs of others, while never having our own needs met.

Why does it seem as if it is easier to solve the problems of the world than to solve our own problems? We simply don't know ourselves very well. When we look into a mirror and attempt to understand ourselves, our conclusions about what we see are usually very different from what a friend sees. When we finally take the time and make ourselves a priority, we make a startling discovery. There exists within us at all times a Higher Power that is the builder of all successes and our comforter during times of trial.

I understand myself only in relation to my Higher Power. The image I see and the identity I have is then one of humility before that Power. Humility is my acceptance of myself.

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~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~

When a man’s willing and eager, the gods join in.

~ Aeschylus ~

We can learn a lot about our present state of mind by asking ourselves what we are willing and eager for. Just now, are we willing to know ourselves better? Do we seek to become better human beings? Are we willing to move beyond self-destructive desires and leave them behind? Or are we more willing and eager for someone else to make things easy for us? Are we still holding on to our desires for control? Do we still hold on to hope for another ecstatic high?

After we face ourselves with the truth of what we really want, the truth can change us. First we are honest with ourselves, and that boosts our ability to actively choose what we really want. When we become willing, we are ready for the work of our Higher Power to help us go where we want to go.

Today I will keep in mind what I really want and not become distracted by temptations that lead off the path.

**************************************************

~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~

We can look at everything in our lives as having the potential to be either a blessing or a curse. Nothing, it seems, comes for nothing.

~ Margaret R. Stortz ~

We interpret every experience in our lives. It’s probable that we interpreted most past events as not in our best interest. But was that really true? What is more likely is that we resisted many vital lessons. And because of our resistance, events that were for our good troubled us rather than taught us. This recovery program can help us work on our Interpretations.

We can learn from the terrible as well as the mundane. What may look terrible to us may appear sweet and inviting to someone else. It all depends on our perspective, and no one has charge of that but us. This program will convince us, if we’ll submit to using it, that nothing happens without cause. What we do with what we are given makes all the difference in our happiness.

Happiness is in my control today. Whatever happens can be a blessing if I take charge of my feelings.

**************************************************

~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~

I am learning to handle my stress

There are some problems in my life these days that I can’t solve. (There are some I cannot even address.) It's hard to keep my mind on my job or my dual recovery. Sometimes with the stress I think about using.

So I mentioned this to a good friend at my meeting and she offered me what works for her: breathing. When she feels stressed, she gets herself comfortable and then, slowly, simply sits still for a while. She said it doesn’t "fix" anything, but it relaxes her. It helps her gain a little more perspective and acceptance. I'm glad I have friends who can help me. I'm willing to give this a try.

Today I will take five minutes to practice quiet breathing and letting go.

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~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~

I’ve been working two programs from the beginning.
That’s what works for me.

~ Bert T. ~

Today, more and more of us are working more than one program. In some cases, a problem with food surfaces after we gain sobriety from alcohol or other drugs. Or it could be work addiction, sex addiction, gambling, or addiction to excitement. Often, we need to work an Al-Anon program along with an AA, NA, CA, or OA program.

Those of us who work several programs know the benefits and great healing power that can be unleashed. Sometimes we find the programs working together. We find a common ground. Other times, we find different programs addressing different needs. All our programs, though, stress communion with our spirituality and a Higher Power.

We are grateful today for the vast number of Twelve Step programs that help us heal our addiction or addictions. And we are grateful to find the people we need, as well as the opportunity to share our own experience, strength, and hope.

Today I thank You for showing me that more than one program is a sign of strength and quality of recovery, rather than weakness or shame. I’m grateful for the variety of help that is available.

**************************************************

~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~

The Crow and the Pitcher

A crow dying of thirst came upon a pitcher that had once been full of water. He shoved his beak into the pitcher and discovered that there was very little water left. But he was determined to get it.

Time and again he thrust his beak into the pitcher, but could not reach the water. He was about to drop dead from both thirst and despair when he spotted a pile of pebbles nearby.

The crow picked up one in his beak, and dropped it into the pitcher. He took another, and did the same. Each time he dropped a pebble into the pitcher, he noticed that the water level rose slightly. Energized by this discovery, he continued his efforts until the water level rose to where he could reach it.

Then the crow drank the water, which saved his life.

The moral of the story: Small actions can have big results.

Recovery is a process that involves taking small steps, but sometimes progress is hard to see. At such times, take heart. Resist the temptation to give up. Instead, trust that your steady and dedicated effort is taking you ever closer to your goal.

There will be great leaps in my recovery, and there will be baby steps. I will trust that everything I do is serving a useful purpose in my progress.

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~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~

I wish to live without hate, whim, jealousy, envy, fear. I wish to be simple, honest, frank, natural, clean in mind and clean in body . . . to face any obstacle and meet every difficulty unabashed and unafraid.

~ Elbert Hubbard ~

Growing up, we learned there were many places to make wishes: the first star, a well, candles on a birthday cake. We saw Dorothy return from Oz after she wished she were back home. Fairy tales taught us wishes can come true.

We don't have to stop wishing, even though many of our wishes never came true. We may have wished for the impossible when we said: "l wish things would get better at home." But we may have gotten our way we said: "l wish this pain would end." Our dreams came true with the program.

Our best wishes can be about ourselves and the lives we want to have. We can wish for riches and find friends with hearts of gold. We can wish for comfort and health, and get a night o[ uninterrupted sleep. Whatever we wish for, we can receive.

I can read tonight's quotation aloud and apply it to my life. This powerful affirmation can help me tonight and every night.

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~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~

Being different

Some of us feel so different that we think no person or group could help us or even understand us. We feel alone and isolated. Whatever these differences are they can be lessened by concentrating on the purpose common to us all: we are learning to live a life free of alcohol or other drugs by connecting with a power greater than ourselves.

Our Higher Power does not want us to be alone. It would help if we would accept that we are all more alike than different. It would help if we could recognize the love that is available to us in our brothers and sisters. Are we looking for what we have in common, or are we looking for ways to be alone and different?

Do I realize that our common purpose can outweigh all differences?

Higher Power, help me feel connected by looking for what I share with my fellow members.

Today I will overlook all differences or look for what we share in

God help me to stay clean and sober today!

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~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~

The net of Heaven has large meshes and yet nothing escapes it.

~ LAO-TZU ~

Newcomer

Step Six wants me to get rid of all my defects. I’m glad that I’ve quit using my drug of choice, but I don’t know if I’ll be able to get rid of all my defects.

Sponsor

Step Six, “Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character,” is often misunderstood.

This Step doesn’t say that we ought to try to remove certain traits on our own. Instead, it requires willingness, the same willingness which brought us to recovery. Step Six asks us to surrender, to allow our Higher Power to re-move our defects.

Does this mean that we say a prayer tonight, and tomorrow we will find that fear, resentment, grandiosity, low self-esteem, or whatever else we wish were different about ourselves has been lifted? It seems unreasonable that our resistance to such thorough change is going to evaporate overnight. In recovery, we’ve begun to experience what a gradual process is like. As long as we remain committed to recovery and willing to cooperate with opportunities for growth, we’ll continue to undergo changes in our character.

Today, I trust that my spirit is capable of continuing to grow. I’m willing to cooperate with the process of change.

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~ THE EYE OPENER ~

Out in the world we brush elbows with men, but in solitude we learn intimately about God and ourselves. Great truths are only born in solitary thought, never in crowded auditoriums.

God has some work to be done that only you can do. You have some problems that only He can solve. Why not sit down together sometime, just you two, and talk it over.

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~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~

WEDDING BLESSING

All knowing spirit, Higher Power, join us in this ceremony binding the lives of these two people. We ask a blessing on this couple, on their marriage, and on the life they will lead together. As they speak and we hear the words that will forever join them, allow the intentions being uttered to remain. true through time and to run as deep as a singing river throughout the landscape of their lives.

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~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~

MENTAL ASSENT

When you give your mental assent to any idea, good or bad, you associate yourself with that idea and you incorporate it into your consciousness−to the extent that you realize it. When you read a passage of Scripture you will, if you assent to it mentally, incorporate it into your life to that extent.

This law, of course, works the other way too. If when you hear or read of some piece of injustice or cruelty, you approve it mentally by thinking that "it serves him right," you are associating yourself with that deed, and making it a part of your own life, even though you do not speak a word. It is the mental assent that counts.

Give your assent only to Truth.

For I delight in the law of God after the inward man: But I see another law in my numbers, warring against the law of my mind, and bringing me into captivity. . . . So then with the mind I myself serve the law of God . . . (Romans 7:22, 23, 25).

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~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~

Could Be Your Ring

To get thine ends, lay bashfulness aside; who fears to ask, doth teach to be deny'd.

~ Thomas Herrick ~

At summer camp, I developed an industrial-strength crush on a girl named Roberta Horn. Roberta was pretty, sweet, and friendly, and when I stepped within ten feet of her, my heart quickened and my stomach did flip-flops. I talked to Roberta a few times and once, when we went roller skating, I got to hold her hand. (l didn't wash it for a week.) At the age of 15, I was too nervous to approach her since I knew that someone as beautiful and wonderful as she would never be interested in someone as weird as I was. Several years later, I saw Roberta and she showed me her hand again, this time with an engagement ring on it. By that time, I had developed some courage, and I told her about the crush I had felt.

"I had a crush on you, too," she told me, "but I didn't think you liked me very much." Whoa. "Funny, huh?" she waxed philosophical. "Who knows? lf either of us had been more honest, this might have been your ring on my hand." While the pain of missing out on a potentially wonderful relationship shot through me like an arrow, the lesson was a gift. It was a primer in telling the truth even when it's scary. I learned that asking for what you want is a prerequisite for getting it.

If you feel a deep resonance with a person, whether in romance, friendship, creativity, business, or the spiritual path, it is likely that person feels the same way. Be honest about your enthusiasm, and take a step in that direction. Even if you get a "no," you will have the satisfaction of being true to yourself and knowing that you honored your feelings. In the long run, you will do better by voicing your intuitions rather than hiding them.

Give me the courage to act on my inspirations. Help me put Your visions into action.

The good I seek is seeking me.