Today's Thought - November

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November 16

An alcoholic spends his life committing suicide on the installment plan.
--Laurence Peter

None of us woke up one morning and found we had suddenly turned into an addict. We got to be one by practice. And we practiced often. We ignored our families - we left work early - and went drinking and drugging. Daily, we chose chemicals over anything else.

Likewise, getting sober is no accident. We use the Steps. We work the program. At meetings, we're reminded to help others. We all get sober on the installment plan. A day at a time. We got sick one day at a time; we recover one day at a time.

Prayer for the Day

Today, with my Higher Power's help, I'll be happier, more honest, more sober. Sobriety is like a good savings account. Higher Power, help me to put in more than I take out.

Action for the Day

I'll go over my Step One to remind myself it's no accident I'm an addict.

You are reading from the book:

Keep It Simple by Anonymous

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November 17

Reflection for the Day

I must never forget who and what I am and where I come from. I have to remember the nature of my illness and what it was like before I came to The Program. I'll try to keep the memory green, yet not spend my time dwelling morbidly on the past. I won't be afraid to enjoy what is beautiful, and to believe that as I give to others, so others will give to me. Can I ever afford to forget what it used to be like, even for one minute?

Today I Pray

May I never forget the painful days of my addiction. May I never forget that the same misery awaits me if I should slip back into the old patterns. At the same time, may such backward glances serve only to bolster my own present strength and the strength of others like me. Please, God, do not let me dredge up these recollections in order to outdo or "out drunk" my fellow members. Like others who are chemically dependent, I must be wary of my desire to be center stage in the spotlight.

Today I Will Remember

I do more when I don't 'outdo.'

You are reading from the book:

A Day at a Time (Softcover) by Anonymous

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November 18

Newcomer

You've told me I should pray for someone who's been causing me all sorts of problems. But that's not going to change that person, is it?

Sponsor

I've heard various descriptions of how prayer works. Some say God listens, some say our thoughts affect the energy of the universe and create change; some say that we're conditioning ourselves to transform our own attitudes, and that attitudes, good and bad, are contagious. It's a mystery but it does work.

Someone I worked with seemed so disrespectful and unpleasant that I dreaded encounters with her. I began saying a daily prayer for her health and complete happiness. Before gatherings that included her, I prayed that communication between us would be easy and smooth and that each person's highest good in that situation would be realized. The effects were dramatic. I experienced relief from my fear of facing her and began to see her as a whole human being. I genuinely began to want her well-being. For whatever reason, she stopped turning her back on me and sometimes actually smiled.

I'm not suggesting that we try to manipulate others to behave as we wish. Specific results and timetables aren't in our hands. But I do know that our prayers are always effective in furthering our own and others' processes of healing.

Today, I pray for others, placing them in my Higher Power's hands.

You are reading from the book:

If You Want What We Have by Joan Larkin

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November 19

Differences

. . . with no hidden cutting edge.

The respect and dignity a couple show each other set the table from which they are nourished for all other activities in their lives. Any feeling can be expressed in respectful or disrespectful ways. Anger is one of the most difficult to express respectfully. Everyone feels frustrated and angry at times. The crucial thing to learn is how to be angry and still be respectful - how to deal with our impatience without blame or put-downs. Many of us have to learn how to love without being possessive, how to be playful in a lighthearted way with no hidden cutting edge. When we treat our partner with disrespect, we pour poison into our own well. It may feel satisfying at first, but the long-term consequences are not good to live with.

When we are committed to respect in our relationship, we continue to learn at even deeper levels what respect truly means. We find that simply listening to each other - and letting in our differences - is a form of respect that nourishes us.

Name a difference between you and someone close to you that you respect.

You are reading from the book:

52 Weeks of Conscious Contact by Melody Beattie

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November 20

Coping with Families

There are many paths to self-care with families. Some people choose to sever connections with family members for a period of time. Some people choose to stay connected with family members and learn different behaviors. Some disconnect for a time, and then return slowly on a different basis.

There is no one or perfect way to deal with members of our family in recovery. It is up to each of us to choose a path that suits us and our needs at each point in time.

The idea that is new to us in recovery is that we can choose. We can set the boundaries we need to set with family members. We can choose a path that works for us, without guilt and obligation or undue influence from any source, including recovery professionals. Our goal is to be able to take care of ourselves, love ourselves, and live healthy lives despite what family members do or don't do. We decide what boundaries or decisions are necessary to do this.

God, help me choose the path that is right for me with family. Help me understand there is no right or wrong in this process. Help me strive for forgiveness and learn to detach with love, whenever possible. I understand that this never implies that I have to forfeit self-care and health for the good of the system.

You are reading from the book:

The Language of Letting Go by Melody Beattie

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November 21

I came to understand that it was all right to do things for people as long as I did it for the sake of doing it... the value being more in the act than in the result.
--Joanna Field

We've all heard the sentiment that it is better to give than to receive. Yet we may find it difficult to give to others, whether that giving involves an actual gift or an act of giving of ourselves: caring for someone who is ill, running an errand for someone, giving a backrub, or extending an invitation to someone who is alone.

We may feel afraid to do for others without any expectations of receiving something in return. To give unselfishly exposes our feelings and shows we care. Yet if we can look beyond our fears to the selflessness of our giving actions, there is a great reward -- knowing we had the courage to risk giving to someone.

The risks we take in giving to others are lessons for ourselves as well as for those whose lives we touch.

The gift of giving opens doors to the homes of our souls.

You are reading from the book:

Night Light by Amy E. Dean

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November 22

Count Your Blessings

Count your many blessings, name them one by one,

Count your many blessings, see what God has done!

--from “Count Your Blessings” by Johnson Oatman Jr.

You are reading from the book:

The 12 Step Prayer Book Volume 2 by Bill P. and Lisa D.

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November 23

The expression of praise as thanksgiving, gratitude, and joy is among the most powerful forms of affirmation.
--Catherine Ponder

Praise inevitably has a multiple effect. It positively acknowledges another human being, enhancing his or her well being, while making us feel good. This offering of love, which is the substance of praise, heals all who share in its circle.

We can see the effects of affirmation in the people we admire. We can discern its absence too, particularly among those who struggle. How difficult is it to give small acknowledgments to those we care about? Making a habit of this heals our own inner wounds too.

Affirming a friend or ourselves connects us to the spirit residing within. That bond fills in our empty spaces, making us whole and healed. Our security grows as we praise one another.

I will freely offer my love in the form of praise to the wonderful friends on my path today.

You are reading from the book:

A Woman's Spirit by Karen Casey

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November 24

Burden No Longer

Lord, take away this ache in my heart.

I know I have asked this of You before. This ache consumes my every waking moment, haunts my dreams, and weakens my spirit. I pray You take this from me so the burden is no longer my own, but ours together. I have wasted enough energy and am ready to turn it over to You completely.

I believe in You and Your will for me.

You are reading from the book:

The 12 Step Prayer Book Volume 2 by Bill P. and Lisa D.

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November 25

Stolen from Me

My child has been stolen from me. He's even been stolen from himself-The Addict has whisked away my son's very essence. I don't know if I will ever get him back. I know what he's like, the monstrous fiend who took my son away. The Abductor is evil, heartless, selfish, and abusive, with a reputation for spreading anarchy, bondage, devastation, and death.

Thinking about the torture my child must endure each and every minute of every day, with every passing year, is torture for me. I try not to allow the images to fill my mind (because they kill me)-but they do. Because they slip right on in with the thoughts of my child that fill my mind each and every minute of every day, with every passing year, too.

The Abductor needs my child, my child's body, to survive and will fight to keep him all the way to the bitter end. There is no ransom I can pay. There's no SWAT team on the job. No yellow ribbon tied around a tree.

My child has been stolen from me. There is no end to this hell.

Imagine trying to live without air. Now imagine something worse.
Amy Reed

You are reading from the book:

Tending Dandelions by Sandra Swenson

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November 26

A controller doesn't trust his/her ability to live through the pain and chaos of life. There is no life without pain just as there is no art without submitting to chaos.
--Rita Mae Brown

It is very hard for most of us to see how controlling we are. We may feel uptight or careful, but we haven't seen it as controlling ourselves or controlling how people respond to us. We may be worried about a loved one's behavior or safety, but not realize our hovering over that person is a controlling activity. We may be keenly aware of other people's controlling behavior with us, but unaware we have equaled their control by monitoring them and trying to change their behavior.

What a moment of spiritual adventure it is to risk living through the pain! When we do not seek an escape or a quick fix but have patience with the process, new possibilities often do develop. We can only let go of our control - or turn it over to our Higher Power. And we will do it and forget, taking control back within minutes or within an hour. Then we let go again.

Today, I will submit to the insecurity of a changing universe and have faith that I can live through the process and grow.

You are reading from the book:

Touchstones by Anonymous

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November 27

There are as many ways to live and grow, as there are people. Our own ways are the only ways that should matter to us.
--Evelyn Mandel

Wanting to control other people, to make them live as we'd have them live, makes the attainment of serenity impossible. And serenity is the goal we are seeking in this recovery program, in this life.

We are each powerless over others, which relieves us of a great burden. Controlling our own behavior is a big enough job. Learning to behave responsibly takes practice. Most of us in this recovery program have behaved irresponsibly for much of our lives. Emotional immaturity is slow to depart, but every responsible action we take gives us the courage for another - and then another. Our own fulfillment is the by-product of the accumulation of our own responsible actions. Others' actions need not concern us.

Today, I will weigh my behavior carefully. Responsible behavior builds gladness of heart.

You are reading from the book:

Each Day a New Beginning by Karen Casey

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November 28

Reflection for the Day

I'll begin today with prayer - prayer in my heart, prayer in my mind, and words of prayer on my lips. Through prayer, I'll stay tuned to God today, reaching forward to become that to which I aspire. Prayer will redirect my mind, helping me rise in consciousness to the point where I realize that there's no separation between God and me. As I let the power of God flow through me, all limitations will fall away. Do I know that nothing can overcome the power of God?

Today I Pray

Today may I offer to my Higher Power a constant prayer, not just a "once-in-the-morning-does-it" kind. May I think of my Higher Power at coffee breaks, lunch, tea time, during a quiet evening - and at all times in between. May my consciousness expand and erase the lines of separation so that the Power is a part of me and I am a part of the Power.

Today I Will Remember

To live an all-day prayer.

You are reading from the book:

A Day at a Time (Softcover) by Anonymous

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November 29

Do I trigger gossip?

There is a saying that listening to gossip is gossip. How true! If there were no listeners, there would never be any gossip.

Some of us who pride ourselves in refraining from gossip may still have a problem with it. It's possible we still keep ears open for any juicy gossip that could fall our way. We might also shake the tree if we believe another person has some gossip to share with us. This is done in seemingly innocent ways, sometimes just by mentioning the name of a person to another who may have strong opinions to express.

The harm of gossip lies in what we do to ourselves when we engage in it. There is no way we can continue to have spiritual growth if we practice gossip, even as passive listeners. Spiritual growth takes place within us, and it needs an environment completely free of any ill will.

Let's beware of any tendency to say things that induce others to gossip. At the same time, let's tune out gossip that seems to occur spontaneously. Gossip is the enemy of the growth we desire.

It is a real relief to know that today I have no desire to spread gossip or listen to it. This includes things I might read in magazines or newspapers.

You are reading from the book:

Walk in Dry Places by Mel B.

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November 30

A terrace nine stories high begins with a pile of earth.
--Lao-tzu

Imagine yourself with a pile of dirt in front of you and building plans for a one-story structure. It would be easy to think, "Oh, this is impossible - it will never get done."

But the architect hires people to help. A foundation is built, and then the frame. From there, step by step, the rest is filled in. We have all watched a building take shape and become a finished product.

Building plans are like the goals we all have. We want to be a better person or friend, a better artist or athlete. Reaching a goal is like putting up a building. Once we have a goal, we need a strong foundation to support us. All of us need the help of others to reach our goals.

You are reading from the book:

Today's Gift by Anonymous