Daily Reprieve - December

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December 1

PRAY THE JAR DOES NOT BREAK

“We asked God to mold our ideals and help us to live up to them.” Alcoholics Anonymous, page 69

“But the jar he was making did not turn out as he had hoped, so he crushed it into a lump of clay again and started over.” Jeremiah 18:4

For what it's worth: God had to be disappointed with me. I did not turn out as He wanted me to be. So I was afraid and ashamed to face Him when I came to Alcoholics Anonymous, but I could not dodge Him here - He was everywhere. Looking back, I see how God used people in Alcoholics Anonymous and the Twelve Steps to be rid of the drunk who walked into the rooms and mold me into what He wants me to be. This is an ongoing process. And I willingly and hopefully participate each new day, turning my will and my life over to God’s care in my Third Step prayer. What my Heavenly Father wants me to be is turning out to be His precious gift to me, full of blessings, in a cracked jar of clay. So, each new day, I also pray the jar does not break.

God bless you!
Joe W.

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December 2

THAT FRESH, BUBBLING SPRING

“The most satisfactory years of your existence lie ahead.” Alcoholics Anonymous, page 152

“It becomes a fresh, bubbling spring within them, giving them eternal life.” John 4:14

For what it's worth: Alcohol betrayed me. I sought solace but found shame. Instead of the escape alcohol promised, I was made its slave. It has been just the opposite with Alcoholics Anonymous. I expected nothing. I arrived with a heart full of rage and hate, but my soul was empty. Over the years of my sobriety, Alcoholics Anonymous healed my heart and filled my soul. I have experienced a spiritual awakening as the result of the Twelve Steps, and I trust the best is yet to come. Indeed, there is something deep within my being that was never there before. I sometime sense it when I am quiet with my Heavenly Father. Perhaps it is that “fresh, bubbling spring within them, giving them eternal life”.

God bless you!
Joe W.

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December 3

OVERLY CRITICAL OR HONEST

But we must be careful not to drift into worry, remorse or morbid reflection, for that would diminish our usefulness to others. Alcoholics Anonymous, page 86

“Even if I were innocent, my mouth would condemn me; if I were blameless, it would pronounce me guilty.” Job 9:20

For what it's worth: Morbid thinking was part of drinking. The thought that I was guilty of all manner of sin and condemned by God fired my drinking for years. That mind-set was so ingrained that it followed me into recovery. Years of hammering on my part and the grace of God, teaching me to trust His love, finally drove it out. Still though, I have to be careful “not to drift into worry, remorse or morbid reflection”. Since I am not playing with a full deck of serotonin, I have to be especially careful when taking inventory. When I am in the midst of clinical depression, it can be difficult to know if I am being overly critical of myself or just being honest. Now I can get anxious about that or I can enjoy the blessing of two mental diseases, alcoholism and clinical depression, making me more dependent on my Heavenly Father’s love.

God bless you!
Joe W.

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December 4

STOP THE BLEEDING

"I have swept away your offenses like a cloud, your sins like the morning mist." Isaiah 44:22

"6. Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.
7. Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings."
Alcoholics Anonymous, page 59

For what it's worth: Violations of God, myself, and others ran rampant during my drinking years. Even after many sober years in Alcoholics Anonymous, I am aware of those violations. I believe God has forgiven me, but I still remember, and the awareness and shame can be heavy. Often, I have to take this to my Heavenly Father and ask Him to help me. He offers me Steps Six and Seven to continue to become willing to heal and to beg Him for His grace to stop the bleeding.

God bless you.
Joe W.

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December 5

SELF-INFLICTED RESENTMENT

"The godless in heart harbor resentment." Job 36:13

"From it (resentment) stem all forms of spiritual disease." Alcoholics Anonymous, page 64

For what it's worth: Alcohol poured over my character defects caused all manner of spiritual disease, and my godless heart harbored many resentments. Once I was sober in Alcoholics Anonymous, I quickly learned resentment "destroys more alcoholics than anything else". Many sober years of applying the Twelve Steps to my life made me aware of God's presence in my heart and left no room for resentment. When one squirms back, it is vital I attack immediately, seeking my Heavenly Father's grace and using the Tenth Step to identify my weakness. Usually, the cause is me being self-absorbed in some sneaky way with self-seeking motives, and my disease is trying to creep back through the break in my spiritual condition. Steps Six and Seven are necessary for willingness to beg my Heavenly Father's help, and Step Eleven is my way back to surrendering my will to His.

God bless you.
Joe W.

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December 6

THAT SINKING FEELING

“He had stepped from bridge to shore.” Alcoholics Anonymous, page 56

"But while he was still a long way off, his father saw him and was filled with compassion for him; he ran to his son, threw his arms around him and kissed him.” Luke 15:20

For what it’s worth: A sinking feeling lived in me for years with no shore in sight, not even a sign of rescue. As it turned out, I was looking in the wrong direction: down at myself, a drowning drunk. Once I looked to Alcoholics Anonymous, a miraculous rescue occurred, but I was too sick spiritually to recognize it. Later in sobriety, I saw clearly a Power greater than myself was yelling to me long before, trying to get my attention, somehow, despite my resistance, directing me to solid ground and sobriety. Once ashore in Alcoholics Anonymous, my God rushed to me and threw His loving arms around me, and held me close to His heart. I have had that sinking feeling return even sober in Alcoholics Anonymous. When it has, as soon as I jump up into my Heavenly Father’s arms, He kisses me and I am safe. It works every time.

God bless you.
Joe W.

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December 7

THE LEAST I CAN DO

"Accept one another, then, just as Christ accepted you, in order to bring praise to God." Romans 15: 7

"...I accept that person, place, thing, or situation as being exactly the way it is supposed to be at this moment." Alcoholics Anonymous, page 417

For what it's worth: During my active alcoholic years, as soon as anyone showed any hint of not understanding me, based on my warped judgment, they were thrown into my people-garbage can. Soon, it was loaded to the brim, and I was alone. After too many years of suffering, my loneliness dissolved with sobriety and membership in Alcoholics Anonymous. The people there accepted me just as the mess I was, and taught me to try the same with others. Years of practice were rewarded with acceptance of others without judgment. Certainly, this parents peace, but I do my best to accept others "in order to bring praise to God", not me. This is the least I can do to thank Him for accepting this worthless drunk.

God bless you.
Joe W.

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December 8

NOW

"'Now will I arise,' says the LORD. 'Now will I be exalted; now will I be lifted up.'" Isaiah 33:10

"On awakening let us think about the twenty-four hours ahead." Alcoholics Anonymous, page 86

For what it's worth: When drinking, I was always eaten up by resentments and shameful about my past or fearful about my future. The present was wasted. After years of sobriety in Alcoholics Anonymous, I have learned the importance of the present moment. However, it is still easy for me to wander around in the past and future instead of focusing on the now. Often, instead of thinking "about the twenty-four hours ahead", I need to focus on what is happening right now. I am grateful the good Lord reminds me of this at Alcoholics Anonymous meetings and with His whispers during the day...when I am listening. As soon as I am grateful about this moment in my life, I am lifted up from shame and resentment of the past and anxiety of the future to peace and joy in this moment.

God bless you.
Joe W.

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December 9

A WAY OF LIFE TOGETHER

"All I want is for you to be able to develop a way of life in which you can spend plenty of time together with the Master without a lot of distractions." 1 Corinthians 7:35 (The Message)

"...We ask God to direct our thinking..." Alcoholics Anonymous, page 86

For what it's worth: My mind and thinking had been controlled by alcohol for many years. To escape it’s domination, Alcoholics Anonymous taught me the significance of prayer and meditation in Step Eleven. I started with simple prayer and made numerous attempts to meditate, but long-term sobriety and prayer were necessary to clear my mind and be able to accomplish simple meditation, if I can call it that. Every morning I ask God for direction and try to spend time with Him in meditation. It may be shallow and full of distractions, but I know He appreciates my sincerity because I sense we are developing a way of life together.

God bless you.
Joe W.

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December 10

RAGE RELIEVED

“God save me from being angry.” Alcoholics Anonymous, page 67

“A fool gives full vent to his anger, but a wise man keeps himself under control.” Proverbs 29:11

For what it’s worth: Rage reigned in me. And it showed to everyone but me. Alcohol released the beast, but blinded me it was out. Miraculously, sobriety and the Steps of Alcoholics Anonymous opened my eyes to see I was full of anger at God, myself, and a full range of other people, places and things. Years of hard, persistent work with the Twelve Steps, combined with professional care, relieved the rage. Still, each day I need to do as suggested in the Eleventh Step: “pause, when agitated or doubtful, and ask for the right thought or action”. I even have to ask my Heavenly Father to help me remember to pause.

God bless you.
Joe W.

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December 11

ENJOY GOD'S LOVE

"God decided from the outset to shape the lives of those who love him along the same lines as the life of his Son." Romans 8:29 (The Message)

Take away my difficulties, that victory over them may bear witness to those I would help of Thy Power, Thy Love, and Thy Way of life. Alcoholics Anonymous, page 63

For what it's worth: My alcoholic thinking convinced me God created my difficulties to punish me, and He was not about to remove them. I had to be sober in Alcoholics Anonymous a long time before I came to trust God loved me enough to carry me through any adversity, and even longer before I believed He would use this once worthless drunk to "bear witness" to the joy and peace of His "way of life". Today, I accept that my Heavenly Father will shape my life "along the same lines as the life of his Son", and, if I surrender to His will, He will see to it I relax, not struggle, and enjoy the rewards of His love.

God bless you.
Joe W.

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December 12

GO TO ANY LENGTH

"Strengthen the hands that are feeble, make firm the knees that are weak, say to those whose hearts are frightened: Be strong, fear not!" Isaiah 35: 3-4

"Reminding ourselves that we have decided to go to any lengths to find a spiritual experience, we ask that we be given strength and direction to do the right thing, no matter what the personal consequences may be." Alcoholics Anonymous, page79

For what it's worth: Going to any length for a drink was common during my drinking years, resulting in a feeble mind, weak knees, a frightened heart, and an empty soul. God saw His suffering child and rescued me from the gates of hell into an Alcoholics Anonymous meeting. There I was told I had "to go to any lengths" to say out of hell, and I would need God's strength to do so. Even sober, I hesitated to ask because I was afraid of God. I had harmed many of His children and expected to be punished. Mercifully, when I hurt enough to ask, my Heavenly Father enlightened my feeble mind, strengthened my weak knees, gave hope to my frightened heart, faith to my empty soul, and direction to my life. It seemed to me these blessings came slowly, but my Heavenly Father probably saw my surrender to His will as sluggish. Today, on His schedule, His gifts continue to be the personal consequences of submitting to His will instead of remaining in my comfort zone. So, next He asks, I will do all I can to go to any length for Him.

God bless you.
Joe W.

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December 13

GOD'S LOVING DISCIPLINE

"My son, do not despise the Lord's discipline, and do not resent his rebuke, because the Lord disciplines those he loves, as a father the son he delights in." Proverbs 3: 11-12

"We alcoholics are undisciplined. So we let God discipline us in the simple way we have just outlined (Eleventh Step)." Alcoholics Anonymous, page 88

For what it's worth: Undisciplined thinking and behavior were deeply ingrained during my active alcoholism. Many years of sobriety in Alcoholics Anonymous were absolutely necessary to change. Still, I require daily discipline and ask God for His help each morning. When I "despise the Lord's discipline" and "resent His rebuke", a Tenth Step inventory screams "this is insane" and demands I seek my Heavenly Father's forgiveness and strength. Immediately, I need to humbly beg for and gratefully accept His discipline, seeking His will, not mine. He continually responds as a loving Father, and, surprisingly, leaves my picture on His refrigerator.

God bless you.
Joe W.

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December 14

THE MASTER'S MESSAGE

"This is our twelfth suggestion: Carry this message to other alcoholics!" Alcoholics Anonymous, page 89

"How true it is that a servant is not greater than the master. Nor are messengers more important than the one who sends them." John 13:16

For what it's worth: My destructive, diseased alcoholic existence carried no appropriate message for anyone, other than not to let it happen to them. Nevertheless, had it not happened to me, I would not have a life-saving message to share with other suffering alcoholics. God transformed me into an epistle of hope for others, and when He entrusts this once worthless drunk with the honor of carrying His hopeful word to another, I must remember Whose word it is, and give my Master praise, not me!

God bless you.
Joe W.

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December 15

GOD AND ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS

“To some extent we have become God-conscious.” Alcoholics Anonymous, page 85

“The secret of the kingdom of God has been given to you.” Mark 4:11

For what it’s worth: Repeatedly slapping God in the face and cursing Him was a sure way to hell. Alcoholism was the speeding train I was taking to get there. Instead, God derailed that train, rescued me from the wreck, and carried me to the doors of Alcoholics Anonymous. I can never fully express my gratitude Alcoholics Anonymous was there for me when I desperately needed it. Seventy-three years ago, God brought together certain of his children into a specific place in time where He gave them “the secret to the kingdom of God” for us drunks. I grew up spiritually in Alcoholics Anonymous and became aware of God’s unconditional love in my daily life, and I would not be surprised to learn He had me in mind when He inspired the beginning of Alcoholics Anonymous. My Heavenly Father knew Alcoholics Anonymous was the only way for me to grow close to Him. At my first meeting He introduced me to people who understood me and spoke the “language of the heart” as they guided me up the Twelve Steps to a life of purpose and joy and right into my Heavenly Father’s arms. Now, if I can only stay put.

God bless you.
Joe W.