Today's Thought - May

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May 1

Healthy Limits

Boundaries are vital to recovery. Having and setting healthy limits is connected to all phases of recovery: growing in self-esteem, dealing with feelings, and learning to really love and value ourselves.

Boundaries emerge from deep within. They are connected to letting go of guilt and shame, and to changing our beliefs about what we deserve. As our thinking about this becomes clearer, so will our boundaries.

Boundaries are also connected to a Higher Timing than our own. We’ll set a limit when we’re ready, and not a moment before. So will others.

There’s something magical about reaching that point of becoming ready to set a limit. We know we mean what we say; others take us seriously too. Things change, not because we’re controlling others, but because we’ve changed.

Today, I will trust that I will learn, grow, and set the limits I need in my life at my own pace. This timing need only be right for me.

Today's reading is from the book The Language of Letting Go, Daily Meditations on Codependency

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May 2

May you live all the days of your life.

~Jonathan Swift

Indeed, life is much like a game—both a deadly serious one and one that demands laughter, relaxation, and the ability to play. Either way, life demands attention.

There is much of life that is truly exciting and fascinating—are we watching for it? There is hilarity and humor—do we see it? There are aspects of life that are touching and full of heroism—are we open to seeing them?

All these are not only present in some general, nebulous way about life, but about our lives! Right here where we live, in our lives today, there will be the hero and the goat, there will be disappointment and reason for wild celebration, there will be the beautiful and the horrible. The soap opera is not out there; it is right here with us, in us, all around us. The task is to be present in our own lives, to get our heads out of others’ reality, and to find the enormous meaning and vitality of our own.

Life is precious. Today, I will not take my life for granted.

Today's reading is from the book Days of Healing, Days of Joy, Daily Meditations for Adult Children

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May 3

Surround yourself with only people who are going to lift you higher.

~Oprah Winfrey

As we live within the recovering community, we will meet many types of people. We will meet some who take their recovery very seriously and others who don’t. We must remember that this is our life we’re fighting for. Addiction is a very dangerous and deadly illness. We need to surround ourselves with the best. We deserve it. An AA saying tells us to “Stick with the winners.” Why? So we, too, can be winners.

During our active addiction, we helped to bring out the worst in others. We supported our using friends in doing things that were dangerous and destructive. We argued and fought with our families until all sides were operating from the worst parts of their being. Now we learn attitudes and skills to support each other in being the best we can be. And the reward: we get to be the best we can be.
Prayer for the Day

Higher Power, please lift me higher. Please surround me with your love and with people who will give me love even when I don’t believe I deserve it.
Today's Action

Today I will make a list of the winners I see in my recovery community. I will make a commitment to get to know them and let them help me be a winner.

Today's reading is from the book God Grant Me, More Daily Meditations from the Authors of Keep It Simple

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May 4

Every forward step we take, we leave some phantom of ourselves behind.

~John Spalding

A recovering person once remarked that every day when he woke up, he said, “Okay, God, surprise me.” Although each day brings new challenges, there is one thing it won’t bring—perfection. Today we can expect a mixed bag of experiences with a wide range of emotions to match.

If we’re feeling discouraged or negative about our life, one way to cultivate an attitude of gratitude is to look back and see how far we’ve come. Remember, we seek “Progress, not perfection.” There is always something to be grateful for, including the ability to find something to be grateful for.

When life is so bad that I want to cry, I’ll try laughing instead.

Today's reading is from the book Answers in the Heart, Daily Meditations for Men and Women Recovering from Sex Addiction

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May 5

Being Grateful

Two kinds of gratitude: the sudden kind we feel for what we take, the larger kind we feel for what we give.

~E.A. Robinson

A wise man once said that gratitude is the “memory of the heart.” Every person in a Twelve Step group rediscovers that “memory of the heart.” The feeling of gratitude is found again in a fellowship of caring, sharing, friendship, and companionship that aims directly at recovery from whatever has possessed us. We are grateful, not only for escape from the torture of addiction, but for our freshened outlook on life as a whole.

We actually learn to be grateful for that addiction, for without it we would never have come to know the pure joy of getting clean and sober with those who understand because they are fellow sufferers wanting to stop suffering. That kind of gratitude goes beyond being thankful for the release from our addiction.

I have no reason for complaining “Why me?” for the pains unless I also exclaim “Why me!” in response to the many wonderful things that come to me in recovery.

Today's reading is from the book Easy Does It, A Book of Daily Twelve Step Meditations

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May 6

The events in our lives happen in a sequence in time, but in their significance to ourselves they find their own order.

~Eudora Welty

We will experience no coincidence today. All situations that transpire in the next twenty-four hours have their purpose. No single event, not the tired, hurried smile from a boss, the phone call from a frantic friend, or the cold response from a co-worker is without impact on our current perception of life. However, we shouldn’t try to evaluate the full significance of any passing event without God’s help. Letting our Higher Power offer us clarity regarding the circumstances in our life will ensure a healthy perspective.

We’ve all experienced trauma because we exaggerated a problem rather than calmly let our inner wisdom guide us. We’re only an impulsive thought away from a flurry of problems. Likewise, we’re only an instant away from peace and enlightenment. The quiet mind will be ever present if that’s our wish..

I’ll truly understand the events of today if I quietly let God reveal their significance.

Today's reading is from the book In God's Care, Daily Meditations on Spirituality in Recovery

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May 7

You've got to get up every morning
With a smile on your face,
And show the world all the love in your heart.
Then people gonna treat you better.
You're gonna find, yes, you will,
That you're beautiful as you feel.

~Carole King

Act "as if." There's magic in behaving the way we want to be, even though we don't yet feel it. The behavior seems to lead the way. The attitude, the mental state, follows.

Many days we may not get up with love in our hearts for our family, our friends, our co-workers. We may, in fact, want them to show their love for us first. But if we reach out, give love unconditionally, focus on another's needs, love will return tenfold. And the act of loving them will lift our own spirits. We will know love; we will feel love for ourselves and the many other persons close to us.

The attitude we cultivate, whether one of love or selfishness, inferiority or superiority, will determine how the events of our lives affect us. The principle is so simple. If we meet life with love, with a smile, we'll find love and something to smile about.

My attitude will make this day what it becomes. Meeting it head* on, with love, will assure me of a lovely day.

Today's reading is from the book Each Day a New Beginning, Daily meditations for Women

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May 8

When I hear somebody sigh, “Life is hard,” I am always tempted to ask, “Compared to what?”

~Sydney J. Harris

There is no question—life is hard at times. None of us escapes trials and challenges. And some of us truly seem to have more of them than others. So what are we to do with that realization? We cannot control most of what happens to us. We can only control how we respond to it. No two paths are the same. Self-pity is the response of someone who hasn’t yet learned to deal with adult life. Feeling sorry for ourselves is like having a hole in a bucket that allows our spirit and our strength to drain away.

Instead of reacting with self-pity, we remind ourselves that all things change and the difficulty we face today will also change. What is harder for us today will be easier tomorrow. We will have times of peace and satisfaction. Best of all, when we play a bad hand well, we have peace of mind, our inner strength grows, and we have something more in our bank of knowledge.

Today, I am grateful for life itself.

Today's reading is from the book Stepping Stones, More Daily Meditations for Men

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May 9

AA Thought for the Day

When we were drinking, most of us were full of pride and selfishness. We believed we could handle our own affairs, even though we were making a mess of our lives. We were very stubborn and didn’t like to take advice. We resented being told what to do. To us, humility looked like weakness. But when we came into AA, we began to be humble. And we found out that humility gave us the power we needed to overcome drinking. Have I learned that there is power in humility?
Meditation for the Day

I will come to God in faith and He will give me a new way of life. This new way of life will alter my whole existence, the words I speak, the influence I have. They will spring from the life within me. I see how important is the work of a person who has this new way of life. The words and the example of such a person can have a wide influence for good in the world.
Prayer for the Day

I pray that I may learn the principles of the good life. I pray that I may meditate upon them and work at them, because they are eternal.

Today's reading is from the book Twenty-Four Hours a Day, A Spiritual Resource with Practical Applications for Daily Life

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May 10

You feel the way you do right now because of the thoughts you are thinking at this moment.

~David D. Burns

Good thoughts are like bright colors in a painting. Negative thoughts are dark and dreary and drab. Each day we paint pictures of our own lives with our thoughts. If we step back and look at the canvas, we will see whether the picture is alive with bright colors or dreary and lifeless like a dark cloud.

Our thoughts have the power to bring joy or sadness our way, depending on what we expect or look for in our surroundings.

The choice of how we want our lives to be is ours. Since we paint a new picture each day, we are always free to change things when they don't please us. What better time than the present?

Is there something in my life I'd like to change today?

Today's reading is from the book Today's Gift, Daily Meditations for Families

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May 11

The journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.

~Chinese proverb

Life holds so many choices now that we are sober. We’d like to go so many places. We’d like to see so many things. We have so much to do.

We are slowly learning how to trust our dreams and reach for them. Our program teaches us that we live one day at a time. We make progress by doing first things first. Easy does it.

Our dreams may seem very big and far away. We wonder if we’ll ever get there, but our faith tells us to go for it. And we know how: one step at a time.
Prayer for the Day

Higher Power, help me know this gentle truth: my life matters. Help me set goals that I can grow toward, one step at a time.
Action for the Day

Today I’ll think about one of my goals. I will list ten little steps that will help me get there.

Today's reading is from the book Keep it Simple, Daily Meditations for Twelve Step Beginnings and Renewal

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May 12

Being human is difficult. Becoming human is a lifelong process. To be truly human is a gift.

~Abraham Heschel

The processes of becoming more human, becoming a real person, and finding spiritual enlightenment are very similar. They require slow growth over time. We can only follow these paths in small steps, one day or one hour at a time. Many of us grew up in families with an addicted parent. We, too, went to great excesses and have been abusive to ourselves and others. Because of these problems, we developed a distorted outlook on life. Now we still demand quick and complete fixes for recovery.

Our program says, “Look to this day.” It is a difficult path to learn, but we only take it in small steps. There are no instant fixes for any human being. Yet when we surrender to the reality of life, we are given the gift of true humanity. We feel like real people, we love others, and we enjoy the pleasure of true contact with them.

I am grateful I can be a part of the process. Help me give up my drive to control it.

Today's reading is from the book Touchstones, A Book of Daily Meditations for Men

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May 13

Dealing with anger

Anger has its place, but addicted people tend to let anger run away with them. The old saying “Be angry, but sin not” is a tall order for us. Two sins of anger are revenge and resentment. Either of them mixed with anger has a way of poisoning the angry one, both mentally and spiritually.

Since revenge and resentment are killers for us, it is best to turn over to our Higher Power the situations and people we are angry with.

How do I deal with my anger?

When I feel angry, whether justified or not, I pray that I keep my anger in check and turn it over.

Today I will deal with my anger constructively by…

Today's reading is from the book Day by Day, Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts

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May 14

Reflection for the Day

Before finding recovery, I hadn’t the faintest idea of what it was to “Live in the now.” I often became obsessed with things that happened yesterday, last week, or even five years ago. Worse yet, many of my waking hours were spent clearing away the “wreckage of the future.” “To me,” Walt Whitman once wrote, “every hour of the day and night is an unspeakably perfect miracle.” Can I truly believe that in my heart?
Today I Pray

Let me carry only the weight of twenty-four hours at one time, without the extra bulk of yesterday’s regrets or tomorrow’s anxieties. Let me breathe the blessings of each new day for itself, by itself, and keep my human burdens contained in daily perspective. May I feel the balance of a soul that continues growing more connected to its Higher Power.
Today I Will Remember

Don’t borrow from tomorrow.

Today's reading is from the book A Day at a Time, Daily Reflections for Recovering People

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May 15

Be careful with amends.

Hurting someone thoughtlessly just to lift our own guilt is not a proper Step Nine. Amends are for rebuilding the burned bridges in our lives. But if amends will hurt someone, we must decide if it’s in that person’s best interest to be told now. Oftentimes it’s best left unsaid, but never denied to ourselves or to God.

Changing our behavior intentionally is one part of making amends, particularly to family members who may have heard us say “I’m sorry” far too many times. Repaying money, repairing damages, and making charitable contributions on behalf of the person we have harmed are all honest attempts to right our wrong. The point in every amends attempt is to take responsibility for what we did and express our regrets. Couple this with changed behavior, and our relationships will improve immediately.

I will not shy away from any amends I need to make today, but I’ll be careful not to hurt someone with information he or she doesn’t need to know.

Today's reading is from the book A Life of My Own, Meditations on Hope and Acceptance