If You Want What We Have

[MajestyJo]

The best thing I learned from my sponsor was, if you have recovery show it. Do not just tell the story, but tell the reality, and walk your talk.

That made the difference for me, I saw people doing what I had tried to do by myself for 8 years. They were even laughing, and I was not to sure if they laughing at me. Found out they were laughing with me, because they had been where I had been and could identify.

It was important to identify and not compare. The drug is only a symptom of my disease. The problem was me, and my dis-ease with myself, always looking outside of myself for something to make me feel better. It took many forms, but no matter what substance I picked up, it all lead to the same soul sickness.

i.e. Pills, alcohol, men, relationships, work, computer, reading, my bed was a big hiding place to isolate my soul and detach from everything and I could tell myself, I am just fine, and there was no one around to disagree with me.

I only tried street drugs twice. I was so sick, I resented that I had lost all the booze I had drank. I believe it was my God keeping me alive long enough to get to the doors of recovery. The thing was, I lived in the country, with very little access to drugs, but when it was presented to me, I took. I often think we are products of our environment.

All I can do is share my experience, strength, and hope, and it will help someone else stay clean and sober in today. It helps me to be here, and I sure missed that extra food for my body, mind, and spirit. Without you, there is ONLY me. Me alone with me, is bad company.