Sharing and Caring

[MajestyJo]

Posting tonight, because I am not sure I am thinking. I don't know if you are noticing a difference in my shares, but I am having troubles with lack of concentration, headaches, high blood pressures, and today, I have pressure points in my head, along my jaw which makes me think TMJ and along my sinuses. It is really strange.

Each time I sit down at my computer I pray for the words needed and the clarity of mind to do what I need each time I post.

Hopefully, what is coming across is the message of recovery. My experience, strength, and hope living clean and sober without the use of mind altering substances, one day at a time.

There are many things going on in my life, and I am feeling very overwhelmed with not much space to live in like I am living in a very small space.

I posting this a long time ago in 2010 and it seems to be appropriate in today:

I am finding that 'mother' wants to be in the know. It is none of my business. He needs to run his own life and his own recovery or lack thereof, which is his choice.

I need to let go of the worry of not sleeping when i am suppose to and sleeping when I should be awake. I think my body has been at battle with itself and doesn't know what to do, so it doesn't do anything. Often when you try, or try too hard, it doesn't happen. Again it is let go, just be in the moment and let go and let God.

I am glad none of you were here to hear the internal dialogue that went on this morning. I hopped from my chair and my book to my computer either posting or playing Bejewelled2 but not going into my bed. Because there was no 'yawn' apparent, I was not tired. No thought of the body being tired, let alone the mind and just going to bed to rest to see if perhaps you do fall asleep. I am my worst task master.

You will note that I didn't mention anything about doing housework as a filler and a task that I could do to make me tired enough to sleep.

When life appears, I must always remember to let go and turn things over to my Higher Power, the God of my understanding. It is in the surrendering that I win. I can not let go if I don't first take my hands off of it.

So glad it is one day at a time, progress not perfection.

It may have been four years ago, but the dialogue is the same along with issues about housing and my health.

Thanks for letting me share.