If You Want What We Have

[bluidkiti]

From the Book

If You Want What We Have:
Sponsorship Meditations
By Joan Larkin
©1998 Joan Larkin


-----27 ----

I took the portion that was given to me and gave it to him
THE BABYLONIAN TALMUD

Newcomer
Are there any rules about how to find a sponsor?

Sponsor
Some meetings have interim sponsorship programs. An interim sponsor works with a newcomer temporarily—a few weeks to a few months—while he or she looks for a regular long-term sponsor. Sometimes, an interim sponsor becomes the newcomer’s regular sponsor, if they both agree to it.

Long-term sponsorship is a relationship of trust, on that’s likely to have a significant impact on the process of recovery. It’s not a good idea to choose impulsively. When we attend meetings, we listen closely as people qualify or share. We’ll hear people who have the serenity and sober experience we ourselves want. If we hear someone we think we’d like to ask t o be our sponsor, we try phoning or going out for coffee with him or her first. We take a little time. We soon know whether or not we have the willingness to share and to listen. We sense whether this is someone whose guidance we can trust.

Sponsors should have a minimum of one year of recovery. It’s suggested that a sponsor’s gender not be that of his or her sponsee’s sexual preference; for example, a hetero sexual woman generally shouldn’t choose a heterosexual male sponsor. It’s a suggestion, not a rule, meant to keep the way clear, so that sponsors and sponsees don’t’ get distracted from their goal. The goal is continued. Quality recovery—for both the sponsor and the sponsee.

Today, I welcome a sponsor-sponsee relationship that encourages and supports my recovery.