God is always with us

[MajestyJo]

Found the following post on another site from November of 2009. So grateful that in the AA program, it is the God of my understanding and no one is left outside of the circle.

The idea of God is different in every person. The joy of my recovery was to find God within me.

—Angela L. Wozniak

When I came into recovery, I was sure that I knew who God was. I wasn't too sure I wanted a relationship with that God because I had a few resentments up my sleeve, some anger buried deep in side, and a lot of old tapes that I didn't want a part of which caused me to rebel in the first place. After all, my first drink was a stolen glass of communion wine. It was that taste when that wine hit bottom, that gave me the feelings that I was searching for all of my life. When I found it, it was always elusive and I always had to have more. I looked out of myself for so many years and it was never a constant.

When I reached a year in the program, I didn't know who God was! I was very confused because I heard the people share around the rooms and it just compounded the misunderstanding of God. It was then that I started on my own spiritual quest. My journey has been a joy. Everywhere I went God was there. I looked for Him/Her/It in all areas of my life and in all religions. I found I had a strong infinity to the Creator and Native American teachings, I loved the folklore of my Celtic ancestry, I loved the teachings of Zen and Osho, and I found the teachings of the New Testament to be informative and guidelines to good living.

What I came to realize for me that God is all things. He is a Father when I need discipline, forgiveness, courage and strength. She is my Mother when I need tender loving care, compassion, empathy, and unconditional love and support for others. My God is an IT. The Spirit which lives in me and is with me at all times that gives me the inner knowing and truth as to what is Good for me in the moment. The Spirit of God is what gives me that happiness, joy and freedom that the program offers.

Wherever I went in my life, I took me with me. I didn't know that God goes with me. It was up to me to tap into His vast domain. He was no longer that distant Being out there too busy making the world go around with no time for me. I had to make God personal. I had to find out who my God was to me.

Thanks for letting me share.