Wisdom Of The Rooms - 2017

[bluidkiti]

June 5

Quote of the Week

“We weaken what we exaggerate.”

I have a habit of exaggerating things to make sure you get the full impact of what I’m trying to say. This was especially bad when I was drinking excessively. On and on I would go, embellishing as I did, on how bad my financial prospects were, or on how badly I had been treated by – fill in the blank. I would exaggerate anything because I was sure you weren’t listening or that you didn’t really care anymore. And after years of lying, making things up, and exaggerating, who could blame you?

When I put the bottle down and entered recovery, I continued to exaggerate and elaborate the stories of what had been done to me. “You just don’t understand,” I would often begin. “But my case is different,” was a frequent reply. After a while my sponsor had me inventory my experiences, concentrating my attention on the invisible “fourth column” – my part. As I did, I found that the exaggerated role I had been assigning to others was actually more my responsibility. And as I got honest and began owning my side of the street in things, I found less need to exaggerate my experiences. People began listening to and trusting me again.

These days, as my wife frequently reminds me, I am still inclined to exaggerate to emphasize how people, places, and things still don’t go my way. But I’ve learned something very valuable: when I stay focused on my part, and relate my experience honestly and sincerely, I no longer have to weaken my story by exaggerating (much :--). Today there is less drama in my life because I no longer try to minimize my role in how my life turns out. It is enough today to simply speak my truth and keep my side of the street clean. And when I do, there is no reason to exaggerate – and thereby weaken – my stories to feel O.K.