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#31 |
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July 31
Daily Reflections A PRAYER FOR ALL SEASONS God grant us the serenity to accept the things we cannot change. Courage to change the things we can, and the wisdom to know the difference. TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, p. 125 The power of this prayer is overwhelming in that its simple beauty parallels the A.A. Fellowship. There are times when I get stuck while reciting it, but if I examine the section which is troubling me, I find the answer to my problem. The first time this happened I was scared, but now I use it as a valuable tool. By accepting life as it is, I gain serenity. By taking action, I gain courage and I thank God for the ability to distinguish between those situations I can work on, and those I must turn over. All that I have now is a gift from God: my life, my usefulness, my contentment, and this program. The serenity enables me to continue walking forward. Alcoholics Anonymous is the easier, softer way. ************************************************** ********* Twenty-Four Hours A Day A.A. Thought For The Day This leaves only one day - today. Anyone can fight the battles of just one day. it is only when you and I add the burden of those two awful eternity's, yesterday and tomorrow, that we break down. It is not the experience of today that drives us mad. It is the remorse or bitterness for something that happened yesterday or the dread of what tomorrow may bring. Let us therefore do our best to live but one day at a time. Am I living one day at a time? Meditation For The Day Give God the gift of a thankful heart. Try to see causes of thankfulness in your everyday life. When life seems hard and troubles crowd, then look for some reasons for thankfulness. There is nearly always something you can be thankful for. The offering of thanksgiving is indeed a sweet incense going up to God throughout a busy day. Seek diligently for something to be glad and thankful about. You will acquire in time the habit of being constantly grateful to God for all His blessings. Each new day some new cause for joy and gratitude will spring to your mind and you will thank God sincerely. Prayer For The Day I pray for a truly thankful heart. I pray that I may be constantly reminded of causes for sincere gratitude. ************************************************** ********* As Bill Sees It Faith and Action, p. 212 Your prospect's religious education and training may be far superior to yours. In that case, he is going to wonder how you can add anything to what he already knows. But he will be curious to learn why his convictions have not worked and yours seem to work so well. He may be an example of the truth that faith alone is insufficient. To be vital, faith must be accompanied by self-sacrifice and unselfish, constructive action. Admit that he probably knows more about religion than you do, but remind him that, however deep his faith and knowledge, these qualities could not have served him very well, or he would not be asking your help. ******************************* Dr. Bob did not need me for his spiritual instruction. He had already had more of that than I. What he did need, when we first met, was the deflation at depth and the understanding that only one drunk can give to another. What I needed was the humility of self-forgetfulness and the kinship with another human being of my own kind. 1. Alcoholics Anonymous, p. 93 2. A.A. Today, p. 10 ************************************************** ********* Walk In Dry Places Group Intelligence Getting Ideas "All of us know more than any one of us" is the saying that applies to 12 Step groups. No matter how much experience any single individual has, it's surpassed by the collective knowledge of the group. That's a good reason in itself for drawing upon these groups. And there are others as well. We need the pool of intelligence that the groups build up over time. We need the group's strength when our own is waning. We also learn help that comes in surprising ways. The person in the group who seems just knowledgeable may express an idea that is just what we need at the time. The group can meet many of our needs if we give it a chance. Regular attendance at meetings will keep us in touch with the group's ideas. I'll stay in touch today with ideas that come from members of my group. Joined together, we have lots of knowledge. ************************************************** ********* Keep It Simple Less is more.---Mies Vander Rohe Our program is simple. It has four equal parts: sobriety, fellowship, service, and faith. Sobriety means we don't use alcohol or drugs any more. Fellowship means we let people into our lives. We work at having a life that's rich with friends. Service means we help when we see the need. It means knowing we have much to offer. Faith means we believe in a loving, caring Higher Power. It means using our Higher Power as a guide in life. Ours is a simple, easy program. Just remember sobriety, fellowship, service and faith. Prayer for the Day: I pray that I may keep my program simple. I pray for sobriety, fellowship, service, and faith. Action for the Day: Throughout the day, I'll remind myself that less is more. ************************************************** ********* Each Day a New Beginning The child is an almost universal symbol for the soul’s transformation. The child is whole, not yet divided…. When we would heal the mind… we ask this child to speak to us. ~ Susan Griffin Was there ever a time when we did not feel divided from ourselves? Occasionally we get a glimpse of what such spiritual wholeness would be like, but most of the time we struggle with feelings of conflict, unevenness, a divided heart. Perhaps “the child” is a metaphor for a spiritual guide, like our own higher power, that can help us in our journey toward self-acceptance. “I may not be perfect, but parts of me are excellent,” writes author Ashleigh Brilliant. If we can be happy with this proud, funny boast then perhaps we can stop berating ourselves for our imperfections. If we dwell on our own contradictory impulses, we give them too much importance, too much power. Let me trust to my glimpses of harmony and wholeness and be grateful for the richness of my spirit. ************************************************** ********* Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition Chapter 6 - INTO ACTION Probably there are still some misgivings. As we look over the list of business acquaintances and friends we have hurt, we may feel diffident about going to some of them on a spiritual basis. Let us be reassured. To some people we need not, and probably should not emphasize the spiritual feature on our first approach. We might prejudice them. At the moment we are trying to put our lives in order. But this is not an end in itself. Our real purpose is to fit ourselves to be of maximum service to God and the people about us. It is seldom wise to approach an individual, who still smarts from our injustice to him, and announce that we have gone religious. In the prize ring, this would be called leading with the chin. Why lay ourselves open to being branded fanatics or religious bores? We may kill a future opportunity to carry a beneficial message. But our man is sure to be impressed with a sincere desire to set right the wrong. He is going to be more interested in a demonstration of good will than in our talk of spiritual discoveries. pp. 76-77 ************************************************** ********* Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition Stories ACCEPTANCE WAS THE ANSWER - The physician wasn't hooked, he thought--he just prescribed drugs medically indicated for his many ailments. Acceptance was his key to liberation. Perhaps the best thing of all for me is to remember that my serenity is inversely proportional to my expectations. The higher my expectations of Max and other people are, the lower is my serenity. I can watch my serenity level rise when I discard my expectations. But then my "rights" try to move in, and they too can force my serenity level down. I have to discard my "rights," as well as my expectations, by asking myself, How important is it, really? How important is it compared to my serenity, my emotional sobriety? And when I place more value on my serenity and sobriety than on anything else, I can maintain them at a higher level--at least for the time being. p. 420 ************************************************** ********* Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions Tradition Nine - "A.A., as such, ought never be organized; but we may create service boards or committees directly responsible to those they serve." It is clear now that we ought never to name boards to govern us, but it is equally clear that we shall always need to authorize workers to serve us. It is the difference between the spirit of vested authority and the spirit of service, two concepts which are sometimes poles apart. It is in this spirit of service that we elect the A.A. group's informal rotating committee, the intergroup association for the area, and the General Service Conferences of Alcoholics Anonymous for A.A. as a whole. Even our Foundation, once an independent board, is today directly accountable to our Fellowship. Its trustees are the caretakers and expediters of our world services. pp. 174-175 ************************************************** ********* In the rush and noise of life, as you have intervals, step within yourselves and be still. Wait upon God and feel His good presence; this will carry you through your day's business. --William Penn The harder the conflict, the more glorious the triumph. --Thomas Paine God is gentle with me. I am gentle with myself. I am in awe of God's power; however it is God's gentleness that moves me. God's will for me is that which is best for me; yet God does not force anything upon me. Patiently, God waits for me to be still, to turn within and listen. God's gentle spirit is my foundation. When the cares of the world seem to overwhelm me and when challenges cause me to forget the truths that support me, God's spirit gently caresses me, uplifting and sustaining me. Because God is gentle with me, I am gentle with myself and others. I do not condemn or speak hurtful words to others. My actions are ones that encourage the unfoldment of God's divine plan in myself and others. Through gentleness and love, God's work is done. --unknown "Death is not the greatest loss in life. The greatest loss is what dies inside of us while we live." -- Norman Cousins "Worry is like a rocking chair it gives you something to do but it doesn't get you anywhere." --Dorothy Galyean There's as much risk in doing nothing as in doing something. --Trammell Crow *********************************************** Father Leo's Daily Meditation TEMPTATION "What makes resisting temptation difficult for many people is that they don't want to discourage it completely." --Franklin P. Jones Usually I am tempted because I want to be. I allow myself to get too close to the object of my desire or I invite the problem into my life knowing that I will not resist it. Then I use my "imperfection" as an excuse! In this way I manipulate my spiritual program and become dishonest. When I first got sober, I did not allow alcohol in my house; I did not go to bars; I did not spend time with heavy drinkers; I avoided airplanes or places that I would associate with alcohol. This disciplined approach to sobriety worked. If you don't invite the enemy in, you won't get beaten up. I need to continue to remember these simple rules and not get complacent in my sobriety. Let me keep temptation out of my life by avoiding it. ************************************************** ********* "And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age." Matthew 28:20b If any man is thirsty, let him come to Me and drink. He who believes in Me, as the Scripture said, "From his innermost being shall flow rivers of living water." John 7:37-38 "Without faith it is impossible to please Him, for he who comes to God must believe that He is, and that He is a rewarder of those who seek Him." Hebrews 11:6 Whether therefore ye eat, or drink, or whatsoever ye do, do all to the glory of God. 1 Corinthians 10:31 ************************************************** ********* Daily Inspiration The more of God's love that you share, the more you receive. Lord, help me to be compassionate when someone needs an ear and encouraging when someone needs a little support. When you are troubled, comfort someone more troubled, when lonely, reach out to one that is lonelier and when unsure, give encouragement to the weary. To care for another makes us forget our own sorrows. Lord, You comfort me. Help me now to be a comforter. ************************************************** ********* NA Just For Today Freedom From Active Addiction "Narcotics Anonymous offers only one promise and that is freedom from active addiction, the solution that eluded us for so long." Basic Text, p.102 NA offers no promises other than freedom from active addiction. It is true that some of our members meet with financial success in recovery. They buy nice houses, drive new cars, wear fine clothes, and form beautiful families. These outward signs of prosperity are not the lot of all of our members, however. A great many of us never achieve financial success. This does not necessarily reflect on the quality of our recovery. When we are tempted to compare ourselves to these other, seemingly more affluent members, it is good to remember why we came to the rooms of Narcotics Anonymous. We came because our lives had fallen down around us. We were emotionally, physically, and spiritually defeated. Our Basic Text reminds us that "in desperation we sought help from each other in Narcotics Anonymous" We came because we were beaten. For addicts, even one day clean is a miracle. When we remember why we came to Narcotics Anonymous and in what condition we arrived, we realize that material wealth pales in comparison to the spiritual riches we have gained in recovery. Just for today: I have been given a spiritual gift greater than material wealth: my recovery. I will thank the God of my understanding for my freedom from active addiction. ************************************************** ********* You are reading from the book Today's Gift. Sometimes it's worse to win a fight than to lose. --Billie Holiday We all see things differently. It is part of the wonderful variety of the world that we all have different points of view. We've all seen baseball players arguing with an umpire over a close call, but, in order to play the game, they must accept the umpire's judgment. When we stubbornly refuse to let friends or family members speak their ideas simply because we disagree with them, we risk the loss of a friend or the understanding of a family member. It is when we allow others to disagree that we take a step forward--a step that opens our ears and our hearts to all sorts of people and ideas. How well can I accept other's opinions today? You are reading from the book Touchstones. Look at the post as a bullet. Once it's fired it's finished. --Catherine Bauby Today is before us as an unformed experience. Yesterday took its own shape, and whatever it was has now gone. Our only opportunities exist in what we will do this day. Perhaps we can enhance the day by starting with a review of yesterday and then letting go. What were the major events in our experiences yesterday? How do we feel about them? Is something left unfinished in our feelings or actions that we need to complete or repair today? Can we take yesterday's experience to build a better today? We have centered ourselves in this day by reviewing where we just came from. We have taken a spot check inventory. Now we can let go of yesterday and move forward in the present. That does not mean we never think about the past again. It means we build on the past by learning from our experiences and letting them shape our activities now. In that way we draw ever closer into accord with the will of our Higher Power. I will let go of the past by learning from it. I give myself to shaping today. You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning. Love doesn't just sit there like a stone, it has to be made, like brick; re-made all the time, made new. --Ursula K. LeGuin We love to be loved; we love to be held; we love to be caressed. A show of appreciation we love too. And we love to know we've been heard. The friends, the spouses, the children in our lives want the same from us. Like a garden that needs water, sun, weeding to nurture the growth, so does love need attending to. To become whole and healthy women, we need tender nurturing. And we also need to give away what we get. Those we nurture will bless our growth. Love is dynamic, not static. It is always changing, and it always changes those it enfolds. Since coming into this program where the sharing of oneself, the open expression of love, is profoundly evident, we each have changed. And our presence has changed others. We have learned to accept love and give it. But better yet, we have learned that we deserve love. I will look around me today at others, and I will remember, my growth and theirs depends on loving and being loved. I will reach out. I can make love new. You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go. Letting Go of What We want For those of us who have survived by controlling and surrendering, letting go may not come easily. --Beyond Codependency In recovery, we learn that it is important to identify what we want and need. Where does this concept leave us? With a large but clearly identified package of currently unmet wants and needs. We've taken the risk to stop denying and to start accepting what we want and need. The problem is, the want or need hangs there, unmet. This can be a frustrating, painful, annoying, and sometimes obsession-producing place to be. After identifying our needs, there is a next step in getting our wants and needs met. This step is one of the spiritual ironies of recovery. The next step is letting go of our wants and needs after we have taken painstaking steps to identify them. We let them go, we give them up - on a mental, emotional, spiritual, and physical level. Sometimes, this means we need to give up. It is not always easy to get to this place, but this is usually where we need to go. How often I have denied a want or need, then gone through the steps to identify my needs, only to become annoyed, frustrated, and challenged because I don't have what I want and don't know how to get it. If I then embark on a plan to control or influence getting that want or need met, I usually make things worse. Searching, trying to control the process, does not work. I must, I have learned to my dismay, let go. Sometimes, I even have to go to the point of saying, "I don't want it. I realize it's important to me, but I cannot control obtaining that in my life. Now, I don't care anymore if I have it or not. In fact, I'm going to be absolutely happy without it and without any hope of getting it, because hoping to get it is making me nuts - the more I hope and try to get it, the more frustrated I feel because I'm not getting it." I don't know why the process works this way. I know only that this is how the process works for me. I have found no way around the concept of letting go. We often can have what we really want and need, or something better. Letting go is part of what we do to get it. Today, I will strive to let go of those wants and needs that are causing me frustration. I will enter them on my goal list, then struggle to let go. I will trust God to bring me the desires of my heart, in God's time and in God's way. My heart is full of gratitude today. I am free today to experience this day fully and to follow my spiritual path. I have been given a new day to live, to grow, to give love and to feel love. --Ruth Fishel God help me to stay sober and clean today! ************************************************** Journey To The Heart You Are Complete Look around at all that lives, at all that is. See how connected each creation is to the workings of the universe. But see also that the essence of all that is, the core, lies within each. From the tiniest purple wildflower to the tallest redwood in the forest, each creation contains its own energy system, its own energy core for living. And so it is with us. We’re intricately connected to the world. We receive energy, life-sustaining nourishment and support, from the world around us. But inside each of us is our own source for love, joy, and wisdom. Our ability to love, live, feel, and be happy comes from our own hearts. Look inside yourself. Feel your vitality, your energy. Feel your essence. It is pure love. Everything you need in order to live and love is within you. Nurture yourself. Let yourself grow. Learn to grow and walk in the ways of love. Learn from all who cross your path. Value your connections to others and the world around you. Receive and give freely as you walk down the road. Take your place in the world. Know you are part of a complete universe. But remember, you are a complete universe,too. ************************************************** More Language Of Letting Go Stay in the game And it came to pass…. –The Bible We can’t always be sure that things will always work out, but we will always have the strength to make it through. We can trust that eventually both the bad and the good will come to pass. I’ve had the good ripped away from me and felt sorrow until I could drown. But it passed. All I’m saying is that sometimes the bad guys win and the good guys lose. Sometimes it’s the other way around. Sometimes nothing that we do seems to swing the decision one way or the other, but we can always come back tomorrow. There’s a;ways another chance to play the game, dance, sweat, and cry. And maybe it’s the experience, not the outcome that is the true prize. If you’re feeling a loss of strength or confidence, let go of the desperate need for a positive outcome in your life. Realize that this, too, will pass. Gain your strength from knowing that whether an event is good or bad, we’re enriched by our experiences. Only we can choose to learn from them or allow resentment and foolish expectations to destroy their value. Dust yourself off. Pick yourself up. Step up to the plate and get back in the game. God, give me hope, faith, and courage to live my life today. ************************************************** Food for Thought Inner Guides In a crisis situation, we cannot rely on another person, or a book, or any external source to tell us what to do. We may have to act immediately, and there may be no outside help available. By getting in touch with our Higher Power, we cultivate a never failing source of inner strength and direction. In order to have it available when we need it, this inner voice must be consulted habitually. It is not something, which we may call on in times of emergency and forget about when things are going well. Each of us has this inner source of strength and nourishment. By taking time each day to withdraw from the distractions of the external world, we grow in spiritual knowledge. When the chips are down, this spiritual strength, which we develop by daily prayer and meditation, is what will see us through. May I know You more dearly each day. ************************************************** *************** Making Over Our Partners Changing the Way We Relate by Madisyn Taylor It is dishonest to enter into a relationship with the idea that you are going to change or fix them. A relationship, in the truest sense of the word, means relating to another. Usually when we say that we relate to someone, it is because we’ve found common ground. But part of relating is finding ways to make ideas that seem different come together. So often when we choose relationships, we try to fit another person into our predetermined ideal. When they don’t fit perfectly, we may try to make them over, creating our own vision from the raw material they’ve brought. But unless someone asks for guidance and direction, entering into a relationship with someone we want to change is dishonest. Then our relationship becomes with someone we’ve imagined, and anytime our partner steps outside of that imaginary projection, we will be disappointed. An honest relationship is one in which we accept each other as whole individuals, and find a way to share our life experiences together. Then, whenever we want, we can choose as a couple to give the relationship a makeover by renewing the ! way we interact. By wanting to give another person a makeover, we are basically saying we don’t accept them for who they are. If we take a moment to imagine the roles reversed, we can get a sense of how it would feel if our beloved only committed to us because they thought we were, or would become, someone else entirely. In such an environment, we are not relating to each other from a real place, and we are keeping ourselves from being able to learn and grow from the different viewpoints that our partners offer. If we feel that a change is needed in our relationship, the only makeover that we truly have the power to make is on ourselves. By accepting our partners for exactly who they are—the ideal and the not-so-ideal—we will create an energetic shift in our relationships, and we may find ourselves really appreciating our partners for the first time. Working from within, we determine how we relate to the people and the world around us, and when we can accept it and embrace it all, without conditions, we make every act of relating a positive one. Published with permission from Daily OM ************************************************** A Day At A Time Reflection For The Day One of the most serious consequences of the me-me-me syndrome is that we lose touch with practically everyone around us — not to mention reality itself. The essence of self-0pity is total self-absorption, and it feeds on itself. Rather than ignore such an emotional state — or deny that we’re in it — we need to pull out of our self-absorption, stand back, and take a good honest look at ourselves. Once we recognize self-pity for what it is, we can begin to do something about it. Am I living in the problem rather than the answer? Today I Pray I pray that my preoccupation with self, which is wound up tight as a Maypole, may unwind itself and let its streamers fly again for others to catch and hold. May the think, familiar wail of me-me-me become a chorus of us-us-us, as we in the fellowship pick apart our self-fullness and look at it together. Today I Will Remember Change me-me-me to us-us-us. ************************************************** One More Day From happiness to suffering is a step; from suffering to happiness is an eternity. – Jewish Proverb The loss of normal good health can rock even the strongest person. In one fragile moment our life seems in shambles. All that we anticipated, all that we had planned, seems over forever. We wonder if we’ll ever get through this suffering. For a while it may seem as though we are living underwater — nothing is clear or straightforward. The things that once gave us pleasure seem to disappear as grief takes their place. Friends offer to help — and they do help for a time — but ultimately we face our loss alone. Finally we begin to understand that grief is a process, just as life is a process. We will be able to move toward acceptance and serenity, and eventually we can be happy again. We can continue to live. I am consoled in knowing grief takes time, but it will end. I can continue to grow. ***************************************** One Day At A Time NEGATIVE THINKING “Condemn the fault and not the actor of it.” William Shakespeare How many times do we beat ourselves because we have failed to attain the goals we have set? We are human and we suffer from a disease that renders us helpless and out of control. Is it any wonder that we fail in trying to conquer such an unforgiving beast? It is not ourselves we should be angry with, but the disease and how it affects our actions and reactions. Our inability – or unwillingness -- to realize that we cannot achieve recovery alone is our only true failure. We need help. Without it we are weak and defenseless. This disease would have us believe we are failures ~ but in reality, all we have done is open the doors to our enemy. These doors can be closed again. Our disease not only manifests itself in the form of uncontrollable eating, but also in our negative thoughts and actions towards ourselves and towards the people around us. It takes no more time to think positively than it does to think negatively. Our only job is to remember that we have a disease. We can choose to forget it, we can choose to beat ourselves up when we leave the door ajar, or we can choose to forgive ourselves and begin again. One day at a time... I will work on forgiving myself. I am worth forgiving. You are too. ~Sue ***************************************** AA 'Big Book' - Quote As wives of Alcoholics Anonymous. we would like you to feel that we understand as perhaps few can. We want to analyze mistakes we have made. We want to leave you with the feeling that no situation is too difficult and no unhappiness too great to be overcome. We have traveled a rocky road, there is no mistake about that. We have had long rendezvous with hurt pride, frustration, self pity, misunderstanding and fear. These are not pleasant companions. We have been driven to maudlin sympathy, to bitter resentment. Some of us veered from extreme to extreme, ever hoping that one day our loved ones would be themselves once more. - Pg. 104-105 - To Wives Hour To Hour - Book - Quote Whatever you are feeling now that disturbs you, whatever thoughts or situations plague you, remember that it will pass. Sometimes when emotions are strong, we feel they will never end. But they do and whatever you are feeling now, you won't be feeling tomorrow. We promise. I to understand that my troubles are not forever that 'this too shall pass.' Seeing Me from the Inside Out Today, I will become aware of that part of me that is separate and observes all that I say, do, think and feel. I have a witness within me that can become a very useful part of my life. Watching my thoughts, feelings and behavior with a little bit of objectivity will help me to see myself as I really am. Fear, for example, is only fear. When I experience small fears throughout my day I will simply see myself feeling them, I will watch them, experience them and allow them to dissipate. I will breathe in and out as they move through me. By allowing my mind to watch itself with no thought of controlling or participating, I can learn a great deal about the way I work. I can allow myself to change on the inside. I am an uncritical observer of my own inner workings. - Tian Dayton PhD Pocket Sponsor - Book - Quote You don't have to pretend to be someone you are not. You don't have to pretend to be strong (if you're a man) or fem (if you're a woman). You don't have to pretend that you don't want to use, if you do. Share what is real. The real you is enough. I am enough; there is enough. "Walk Softly and Carry a Big Book" - Book 20/20: Come 20 minutes before the meeting, stay 20 minutes after. Time for Joy - Book - Quote My heart is full of gratitude today. I am free today to experience this day fully and to follow my spiritual path. I have been given a new day to live, to grow, to give love and to feel love. Alkiespeak - Book - Quote If I quit causing my own trouble, I've got no trouble. All I have to do is trace this back - No matter what she had done - to where I had placed myself in a position to be hurt. - Milt L.
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