Sex and Intimacy

[MajestyJo]

As a friend of mine once share, intimacy is "In To Me See" and was never willing to let people see the real me for fear that they wouldn't like me.

For me it was about getting honest. I thought I was in control and I could fix the other person and I ended up hurt any way.

Learning that love isn't sex, not always an expression of it but a wau of searching for something that I couldn't find within myself. I don't love me so I am looking to you to love and care for me.

When you love and like yourself, you can go into a healthy relationship because you want to be there instead of being there because you are needy.

My last boyfriend left because he felt like I should NEED him. He got really angry, almost violent and triggered a whole lot of abuse from my past because he didn't like it when I said, "You are in my life because I want you there, not because I need you there."

I read the preface to Codependent No More and ran to the nearest Al-Anon meeting. It isn't about them, it is about me. As the Al-Anon slogan says, "Let It Begin With Me." The only way I can get healthy is building a relationship with myself, with my God and then I can have a healthy relationship with others.

Had a difficult allowing someone into my space. Like all things it took balance, and learning to live clean and sober, change old tapes and make new ones. Often had to erase the new ones as I grew in the program and found new truths along the way.

Most of all, I had to find myself. How can I ask for my needs to be met when I didn't know what those needs were? Most times they were I wants, which eventually led to more...!

I was looking to others to fulfill me and it doesn't work that way!