Are You An ACoA?

[MajestyJo]

Gender, Birth Order and Family Role Identification among Adult Children of Alcoholics.

She labeled her four family roles: "the Hero", "the Scapegoat", "the Lost Child", and "the Mascot". The child fulfilling the Hero role within an alcoholic family appears competent, serious, and overachieving to others, but often feels inadequate and guilty.
This child usually assumes responsibilities greater than those of same age peers, and tends to engage in a wide variety of care-taking behaviors. Heroes receive self-validation through the feedback of others. This child serves the purpose of bringing
esteem to the family system through his or her accomplishments. Heroes are generally well organized, and tend to assume control or responsibility for situations and others. This child often becomes a pseudo-parent/spouse (Goglia et al., 1992) as s/he grows up.

http://www.accessmylibrary.com/coms2...286-723362_ITM

This is just a small snippet from the article, much to long to post so the link is above for those who'd like to read more.

Don't think I played the Mascot. In fact I was told once that I couldn't be an Orr because I wasn't blond. Maybe that is why I am blond by choice today. That is when I choose, lately I have allowed myself to just be. Very much the Scapegoat, everything was my fault especially if I didn't set a good example to my sisters, according to someone else's principles not mine. Missed out on a lot of things that are normally a part of a child's life. No best friend, no sleep overs, no calling on a friend and talking on the phone, no allowance, and very little TV (we didn't have one until I was 10) and never being able to play games or go outside and have fun on Sunday. So many rules and regulations and a lot of work from the age of 10 on, but head of the household at 14 doing what my mother couldn't do. This is my perception, I don't remember my childhood as a whole. It is all blocked out and only remember certain things as they reappear in my memory or from what I have been told.

At the end of her life, my aunt came to me and told me that I could be her lawyer yet she still looked on my as this sinner, saved by grace. She couldn't love me for who I was. She could loved me because I had opened my life to God and allowed Him into my life. I was a hero because I had overcome this 'sin' that I had allowed to take over my life. I was not a bad person trying to get good. I was a person who had a disease, who was trying to get well and recover, not a bad person trying to be good.

This post was made on another site in 2009.

Looking back, I think I qualify as the mascot too. My mother expected me to be a good example for my sisters. If they did wrong, it was my fault.