Self-Test for Compulsive Overeating

[MajestyJo]

Do know of a lady in my group who goes to open AA meetings. Many members are like me, qualify for AA and Al-Anon too. I have one reason to be in AA and 3-33 reasons to be in Al-Anon. Twelve Steps are Twelve Steps wherever you go. For me, it is about not using anything. I tried substitution for years and it didn't work. A drug is a drug. Sobriety doesn't work if you are using something else to take away the pain and the feelings.

I have had to apply the 12 Steps to my chronic pain, my eating disorder, my alcoholism, my codependent relationships, my computer addiction, my addictions to starting new web sites, and my pill addiction. I had to turn it all over to God. I am powerless over people, places and things. Anything that stand between me and God and who He would have me be in today, is an addiction when I become compulsive and obsessive about it.

It is a family disease and we don't realize that our family is dysfunctional because it is normal for us. For me, food is a mental thing. When I think fat, I don't want to eat; or I think what the heck I am fat, what does it matter and eat things I shouldn't; or I go into the I don't care mode and think myself not worthy of self-care. It is often the thinking behind the eating. Looking for comfort, looking for solace where I feel I can't get it anywhere else.

Perhaps you look to your sister and mother for solace and comfort, but don't expect it from your brother. When they don't give you what you think you 'need' from them, then you feel rejected, hurt, angry and resentful. The thing is, the program teaches us, not to go outside of ourselves for that comfort and solace. It all needs to come from within. We need to be complete and whole within ourselves, not looking for some person, place or thing to make us feel better.

Some of those old comfort foods, like mac & cheese, shepherd's pie, fries and gravy, and for me garlic mashed potatoes and gravy that goes with everything, are just not healthy for us let alone the fact that they are fattening. Anything white turns to sugar, so my much loved potatoes can be harmful to me as a diabetic. As they say, I can have it is what I put on them that makes the difference. For me, potatoes are not potatoes unless they have butter or gravy. There is generally butter in the potatoes when I mash them, then I want the potatoes so I can have the gravy. For me, it generally looks like gravy with potatoes instead of potatoes with gravy.

I found it is all in my thinking and my attitude, which I have to turn over daily to my Higher Power.