Even More Recovery Readings and Meditations - July

[bluidkiti]

July 31

Step by Step

"The old (drinking) pattern reasserted itself, but it was no longer once every six months. The intervals grew shorter. The binges were longer. They were harder to get off. ...
"That type of drinking is not pleasant. It is no longer enjoyable. You no longer get the kicks. It is desperation drinking. I was drinking to keep away the shakes ...I was drinking to try to hold on to a job, to try and hold on to my home, to try to hold on to my wife, to try to hold on to my sanity." - Alcoholics Anonymous, 3rd Edition, 1976, Part III ("They Lost Nearly All"), Ch 8 ("Desperation Drinking"), p 514.

Today, honesty to accept I have a problem if drinking is my answer to any desperation I feel - be it for a situation I desperately want not to face, or the talk with my spouse, partner or employer, the constantly ringing telephone that I will not answer because someone might be calling about my drinking or some problem it has caused. If drinking is my solution to any problem in my life, let me hear the voices of experience that my solution has become a crisis bigger than the problem I'm avoiding. And if I have not drank for any significant number of 24 Hours, chances are I now cannot remember the problem I drank to avoid. But, in so doing, I and I alone created one of the most critical crises that was far worse than any problem I faced sober. Today, alcohol will not be my solution to any problem that I may encounter. My answer is the Twelve Steps. And our common journey continues. Step by step. - Chris M.

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~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~

CLOSED MIND

When your head begins to swell, your mind stops growing.

~ Anonymous ~

In the old days before recovery, we knew everything. We could talk for hours about any topic, whether we knew anything about it or not. Our minds were closed to new information because it might shatter what little confidence we had in ourselves. We knew what we knew, and that was enough.

In recovery, we know that we don't know everything. What a relief! We learn some- thing new every day, and we never seem to get enough. The world is an exciting place full of new discoveries. And it's O.K. to say "I don't know," because then we can open our minds and hearts to the answer.

My confidence has grown, so I don't have to pretend that I know everything any more. Now I have the courage to open my mind and learn without getting a swelled head by being overconfident.

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~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~

Success is how high you bounce when you hit bottom.

~ General George S. Patton ~

We all know about hitting bottom. Some of us look back and remember when we felt that we had lost everything. And some of us are grateful that we had a “high bottom.” Either way, it is well for us to keep that memory close to us, because it is rich in lessons; hitting bottom motivated us to try something new. Our old patterns were broken and we were opened to new ways of living.

When the future seemed most bleak, we were finally able to accept a better way. Little did we know that this very moment was the dawning of great prospects for our lives. We are grateful not for the crisis itself, but for its lessons and our current recovery. The bounce that follows hitting bottom continues for a lifetime as we continue to become better men.

Today I am grateful for this path that leads out of my deep valley and on to new vistas.

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~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~

Turn a disadvantage into an advantage; embrace that which is unfair.

~ Eileen Fehlen ~

We have all heard the saying “When life gives you lemons, make lemonade.” We may have been certain at times that a particular batch of lemons was far too sour to be redeemed. But we do not know what lesson might be in store for us in a particular set of circumstances. We can be certain only that God is in charge of the lesson and the outcome. Our part is to stay positive and hopeful, and to trust, to turn our life and our will over to God.

Embracing that which seems unfair is merely showing our loving Higher Power that we trust the ebb and flow of our lives. It doesn’t mean that we love what is happening; instead, it means that we are willing to let go and let God direct our actions. Though letting go may be difficult at first, when we grow accustomed to it, we will feel a great burden lifted from our shoulders. Giving our life to God to manage means giving ourselves freedom to laugh and play more. We deserve the relief. We deserve the joy this guarantees. And we will find it!

I deserve a peaceful, joy-filled life. If I let God help me today, I will feel so much better.

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~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~

I need to "keep it simple"

I am slowly learning about my two chronic illnesses, addiction and a psychiatric disorder, and how to recover from them. Basically, I must take care of my emotional problem to make sure it doesn't stir up my chemical problem, and I must take care of my chemical problem to make sure it doesn't stir up my emotional problem.

These days I feel deeply grateful for the Twelve Step fellowship, one simple program that can help me with two mutually complicating illnesses. I have faith (and growing confidence) that if I follow my doctor's recommendations, work my Twelve Step program, and learn more about dual recovery I will recover.

I will ask my higher power to help me keep my simple and basic program of dual recovery strong.

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~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~

It’s great to be great, but it’s greater to be human.

~ Will Rogers ~

All of us dream and daydream about greatness. But in the end, it’s greater to be human. Great people live in a different world from most people. Many wish they could be just plain old human beings once in a while. They can’t walk into a store or go to a restaurant without being bombarded by people who want their autograph or want to just touch them.

Being just human beings, we don’t have to maintain a certain image. We can cry or get angry. We can be silly and say what we really mean. Being human, with all its frailties and foibles, is great compared with having to live up to a certain image all the time. As average and very human beings, we can accept our bodies with all their imperfections, enjoy our flawed and quirky minds, and be grateful to God for our blessings. And, when we humbly accept our humanity, we are all great in the eyes of our Maker.
Today help me Lord to accept my humanity and to remember that I am one of Your children. You love me; help me to love myself.

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~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~

If any one of you is without sin, let him be the first to throw a stone at her.

~ John 8:7 ~

Writer Annie Dillard relates in her book Pilgrim at Tinker Creek a conversation an Eskimo has with a missionary priest. The Eskimo asks if he would go to hell after he died if he did not know about God and sin. The priest replies that if he did not know about such things, he would not be faced with hell. Why, the Eskimo then asks the priest, did he tell him about God and sin?

You may feel the same way in your work on Step Seven. Once you are confronted with the sins and transgressions you committed in your life as an addict, you may end up feeling much as the Eskimo did: that you were better off not knowing about your shortcomings.

But it is through this knowledge that you can learn to accept responsibility for your actions and learn how to treat yourself and others with greater respect and kindness. Through greater recognition of your shortcomings comes a sense of humility. You can recognize that you are not perfect, that you are not without fault, and that you will sometimes fail.

Step Seven teaches that I am not alone when I face my short-comings. My Higher Power is there to help me to become a better person.

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~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~

Give us to go blithely on our business this day, bring us to our resting beds weary and content and undishonored, and grant us in the end the gift of sleep.

~ Robert Louis Stevenson ~

Tonight, our reward for the day is sleep. To make sleep peaceful and relaxing, and filled with pleasant thoughts, we can spend time gently closing our minds to the day's events.

We can walk down a pleasant, nature-filled path in our minds. With each step we can move farther away from the day's activities and the many tasks we did or left undone. Look around us. We can see lakes and mountains and hear the soothing sounds of a speeding stream. Nothing is important now except peace of mind and the hours ahead in which our minds will be at peace.

Before we shut off the light we can spend a few minutes visualizing our pleasant nature walks. We can think Let Go and Let God and feel the day's tensions and pressures fall from our shoulders. Today has been good. We can close our eyes now and let the reward of sleep drift over us.

My day has been good. I have done well. I am satisfied and ready to let sleep overtake me.

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~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~

Using the phone

There are times when it seems that nothing can stop us from reaching for that first fix, pill, or drink. At times like these, it helps to reach for the phone.

Regardless of the time, day or night, we need to call our sponsor or another addict in recovery. It’s critical to call them before, not after, we use. Many are the times that such a call has saved all we have gained in the program.

Do I make good use of the phone?

Higher Power, may I not feel too shy or embarrassed to use the phone when in need.

Today I will call

God help me to stay clean and sober today!

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~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~

I always believed that if you set out to be successful, then you already were.

~ KATHERINE DUNHAM ~

Newcomer

I recently spent some time with a friend's family. They're not addicted to anything and never have been; they're just fine, upstanding people. Their home and work lives are stable. They contribute to their community. I couldn't help comparing myself with them and thinking that they wouldn't want to have much to do with me if they knew the real me.

Sponsor

Our practice of comparing our insides with other people's outsides makes us forget that we don't usually get to hear all the details of other people's past difficulties. We can't assume that there are large numbers of adult human beings outside of this program who never have to face challenges, fears, and situations that resemble our own.

And what about you? You've faced your problems courageously; you're committed to doing whatever it takes to stay away from addictive substances and behavior; you're a contributing participant in this community of recovering people.

Our self-esteem may require care and nurturing in recovery. Over time, shame leaves us and allows us to appreciate more fully the value of what we have to contribute. Our past suffering doesn't diminish us. It makes us more compassionate and more useful to our fellow human beings.

Today, I'm a person worth knowing. I respect my own unique combination of gifts; no one else is exactly like me.

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~ THE EYE OPENER ~

In our drinking days, we were ready to take a poke at anyone who suggested we couldn't handle our “likker.” It was a very sore spot with us, as we all kidded ourselves into believing that our over-indulgence was a well guarded secret, when actually we knew it was not.

Upon our entrance into AA, we soon made a public confession of our alcoholism and, to our surprise, we lost some of the sense of stigma and we could learn to laugh at our affliction and at ourselves. Our sense of guilt was lessened by our acknowledgment of its existence.

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~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~

For Protection

Grant us, O God, Your protection;
And in Your protection, strength;
And in strength, understanding,
And in understanding, knowledge;
And in knowledge, the knowledge of justice,
And in the knowledge of justice, the love of justice;
And in the love of justice, the love of existence;
And in the love of existence, the love of God,
God and all goodness.

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~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~

THE TEN COMMANDMENTS

And God heard their groaning, and God remembered his covenant . . . and had respect unto them (Exodus 224-25).

Moses grew up as the adopted son of Pharaoh's daughter with all the privileges and training of royalty. As the years went by and he witnessed the oppression of his people, he determined to lead them out of their bondage into a better life-their Promised Land. We are told "that their cry went up to God" (Exodus 2:24) and God Himself led them safely through their wilderness. Then at the time of their uncertainty, their moral laxness and emotional confusion, He gave Moses certain basic rules of life, which we still know as the Ten Commandments.

The Ten Commandments at their face value are true and valid, but that is only the beginning. If people are going to escape from the continuous strife and struggle of life, they must have something more. So within these commandments he concealed the deeper laws for those who were ready for them. And within those again, he concealed the deepest and highest spiritual teaching for those who were ready for that.

In other words, Moses designed these laws of life so that the higher we go spiritually, or the deeper we go intellectually, the more we can get out of them.

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~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~

Honest Courage

The art of life is to show your hand. There is no diplomacy like candor.

~ E.V. Lucas ~

Although Mike and Cindy were getting divorced, they continued to socialize and make plans to invest in a piece of real estate together. Meanwhile, the couple was at odds with each other emotionally and fought openly. As I sat on the beach with them and a woman named Sharon, I felt jarred by the constant flow of barbs and sarcasm the couple directed toward each other. lf they disliked each other that much, I wondered why they even spent time together, let alone planned to buy real estate.

"Would you two like to come and look at the property we are considering?" Mike asked.

“Thanks for the invitation,” I answered quickly, “but l have another appointment." (“Another appointment" meant "anything but this one.")

"How about You?" Mike asked Sharon.

"Generally, I would like to take the ride, but I am very uncomfortable with the hostility both of you are generating. I don't think I could be with it for several hours."

I gulped. I could hardly believe that Sharon had laid the truth out so plainly. She said what I wished I had the honesty to say if I had not feared the truth would be socially unacceptable. Sharon pierced through the veil of false politeness and cleared the air. Her intention was not to hurt Mike and Cindy, but to answer their question honestly. In this case, the couple was well aware of their energy; in other cases, other people may be well served to learn how they are affecting others. The truth is not always comfortable, but it has the power to remove the darkness.

Give me the courage to speak honestly so I may bring the truth to light.

I speak the truth with the intention to heal.