I Drank For. . .

[MajestyJo]

I'm the type of alcoholic that when I stop drinking, for all practical purposes, that's where my alcoholism begins. - Bob D.

- Alkiespeaks

This struck a cord with me. I stole a glass of communion wine at 10 years old. There was only about an inch in the bottom of a goblet. I have told the story many times. I will always remember the feeling when it hit bottom. It was the feeling that I was searching for all my life. The only problem was it took more and more to reach the feeling and then it stopped working and all I got was pain.

That aaaaahhhhhhhh!!!! feeling when it hits bottom and you know everything is going to be alright. I never had another drink of alcohol until I was married at the age of 21. My second drink I didn't like, it was Cherry Brandy and it was gross and I vowed I would never drink again. Famous last words. It wasn't 10 years later when I met my scond husband, it was at 10 years old that I think was when I became an alcoholic. It is the thinking behind the substance we use, that is the cause of our dis-ease. The substance is but a symbol of it and the real problem is me.

I can't metabolize alcohol like normal folk. Some is good, more is better, or so I thought. I would drink until I overflowed and there was no more left. Then I realized, it wasn't me talking, it was my dis-ease. When I was using (people, places and things), it was not me who governed my actions, with no thought of being accountable or responsible.