“Insides Outsides”

[MajestyJo]

Just For Today

March 31

“Insides Outsides”

“Our real value is in being ourselves.”

Basic Text p. 101

As we work the steps, we’re bound to discover some basic truths about ourselves. The process of uncovering our secrets, exposing them, and searching our characters reveals our true nature. As we become acquainted with ourselves, we’ll need to make a decision to be just who we are.

We may want to take a look at what we present to our fellow addicts and the world and see if it matches up with what we’ve discovered inside. Do we pretend that nothing bothers us when, in truth, we’re very sensitive? Do we cover our insecurities with obnoxious jokes, or do we share our fears with someone? Do we dress like a teenager when we’re approaching forty and are basically conservative?

We may want to take another look at those things which we thought “weren’t us:” Maybe we’ve avoided NA activities because we “don’t like crowds!” Or maybe we have a secret dream of changing careers but have put off taking action because our dream “wasn’t really right” for us. As we attain a new understanding of ourselves, we’ll want to adjust our behavior accordingly. We want to be genuine examples of who we are.

Just for today: I will check my outsides to make sure they match my insides. I will try to act on the growth I have experienced in recovery.
When I came into recovery, it was, "Would the real JoAnne, please stand up." Many times I talked about myself in the third person. It was like I was detaching from my life and looking down at myself and being very judgmental. I know I wasn't very loving. It took a very long time for the inside to match the outside.

In today, what you see is what you get. You might not like her. If you don't that is your problem. She is trying to be the best 'me' she can be in today. Some days she falls short, but that is okay. This is a one day at a time program and all I am asked to do is try. I not only learned to love myself, the biggest difference is that I learned to like myself. I try not to do things that make me dislike myself. I try to be my own best friend and remember to give myself a hug if they are in short supply.