Memories

[MajestyJo]

Hoping that everyone from all fellowships can relate. Here are some memories that I shared in 2009 on another group. I hope you will share some special memories you have.

I took my father and his girlfriend for a Sunday drive many years ago. They were in the back seat of my VW bug and every once in a while his girlfriend would say, "George behave yourself, what will JoAnne think?" If she hadn't opened her mouth, I wouldn't have known he did a thing, I wasn't watching them in my rear view mirror. My father thanked me for the drive. He said that I had found a road he hadn't known was there. It was a first time experience for him and it gave me the warm fuzzies hearing it from him. He wasn't too good at giving compliments or validation. He was surprised that there was a road he hadn't been on. His family had been in the trucking business for years. They had the farm equipment that they rented to other farms, they had stock trucks that they picked up cattle and pigs and drove to the stock yards in Toronto, they had dump trucks that they used on road construction, and of course they had been joy riding for years.

It was the little things in recovery that I learned to appreciate. A lonely rose in a barren flower bed, a sunbeam out of a dark sky, an inquisitive bird that stopped to check me out, a scolding by a crow who started in a tree, flew down to the grass beside me and walked along with me and rheamed me out for whatever he thought I had done wrong. I remember being very tired, not having ate my lunch and had gone down to grocery store and was carrying back several bags of groceries. I had overdone and was operating on fumes with no fuel in my system and it seemed to me as though my Higher Power was sending me a message.

I really miss not having a car. I don't often get to go out into the country and when I do, it is a real gift and I try to soak it all up. I am guilty of thnking I should let a man back into my life so that I could go for those little rides and sharing them with others would make it an extra special thing. So far, that thought hadn't overruled the other tapes in my head, so I don't see it happening any time soon. Maybe God will have different plans, who knows.

This is the person who use to need glasses to find her glasses. This is the person who puts pots on to boil and they boil dry. This is the person who burnt three frying pans in 6 weeks. For me it isn't insanity, even old age. It is fibromyalgia. I use to beat myself up royally for things that I would do. Put things down and not remember where I put them. Go for something and forget what it was I was looking for, and the list goes on, and on, and on....

Just because I do stupid things doesn't mean I am stupid. Just because I make a mistake, doesn't mean I am one. I try not to take these things personally.