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Humor "We Are Not A Glum Lot." Share Articles, Humor, Inspirations, Jokes, News, Poems, Quotes, Writings, etc. Here. Keep It Clean Please. |
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Join Date: Aug 2013
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What do you call a bear without any teeth? A gummy bear!
Does anyone need an ark? I Noah guy! To whoever stole my copy of Microsoft Office, I will find you. You have my Word! What sound does a witch's car make? Broom Broom What's Forrest Gump's password? 1forrest1 Want to hear a joke about construction? I'm still working on it. I wanted to go on a diet, but I feel like I have way too much on my plate right now. Did you hear about the chameleon who couldn't change color? He had a reptile dysfunction. How did Darth Vader know what Luke got him for Christmas? He felt his presents! What did the drummer call his twin daughters? Anna one, Anna two! A fire hydrant has H-2-O on the inside and K-9-P on the outside. Did you hear about the crook who stole a calendar? He got twelve months. Did you hear about the semi-colon that broke the law? He was given two consecutive sentences. The world tongue-twister champion just got arrested. I hear they're gonna give him a really tough sentence. I own the world's worst thesaurus. Not only is it awful, it's awful. I woke up this morning and forgot which side the sun rises from, then it dawned on me. I've just written a song about tortillas; actually, it's more of a rap. I recently decided to sell my vacuum cleaner as all it was doing was gathering dust. 250 lbs here on Earth is 94.5 lbs on Mercury. No, I'm not fat. I'm just not on the right planet. I knew a guy named Roger... He was huge, about 10-4.
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![]() "No matter what you have done up to this moment, you get 24 brand-new hours to spend every single day." --Brian Tracy
AA gives us an opportunity to recreate ourselves, with God's help, one day at a time. --Rufus K. When you get to the end of your rope, tie a knot and hang on. --Franklin D. Roosevelt We stay sober and clean together - one day at a time! God says that each of us is worth loving. |
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