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Family and Friends of Alcoholics and Addicts This forum is for families and friends whose lives have been affected by someone else's drinking and/or drug abuse. |
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#1 | |
Super Moderator
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Hamilton, ON
Posts: 25,078
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I think that we are often products of our environment. We are what we are taught and what we see. Sometimes, we just don't know any other way and don't know that what we are doing is unacceptable behavior. After all, we saw our father, our uncle, our mother, our aunt, our pastor, etc. act this way for years. Who am I to say what they do is wrong? Who am I to know? It stood me in good stead for many years, why should I change now? If all you have seen is abuse and dysfunction, how can you know that it is unacceptable behavior. When you add the thinking to the drinking and drugging, what is often a thought becomes an action. Stayed in an abusive relationship for 7 years and couldn't figure out why I stayed. I was looking for the right time to leave and it never happened. When I finally kicked him out, it couldn't have been worse, I had no food, no money, no job, no prospects, no car (had two when I married him), and no hope. I didn't have Al-Anon back then. I figured, if you can't beat them join them and I started drinking (couldn't stand to be near him unless I too had been drinking), he hit and I started hitting back, and the abused became the abuser. I not only had the thinking behind the drinking, I had codependent issues and the old tapes from my childhood. My father was an alcoholic who died from his disease. My mother died at the age of 40 because of her food addiction. Please do keep coming back. A burden shared is a burden lessened.
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Love always, Jo I share because I care. ![]() |
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