Perfectionism

[MajestyJo]

I think I can see it in others I go the complete opposite and don't care. I was reminded that 'perfectionism' is part of my disease, not my recovery. When it comes to be doing, I want to do a good job. As my father use to say, it is getting me to do. When I don't meat my expectations, then I often redo and if I can't correct it, then I have been known to beat myself up a time or two.

A lot of mine stemmed from my mother who use to say, "If you can't do it right, don't do it at all." So often I didn't, often not trying because I saw myself as less than and was repeated told that I was stupid, so therefore I couldn't and didn't know.

As a guy once said to me, when I was about three years sober, "You may be a lot of things, but stupid is not one of them."

Ms. Perfectionist can still come out after all these years of practice. For me in today, it is accepting that it is not a good day, and try again later or in another day.

I see trying, trying, and trying as my Ego. They say that not trying is the failure. But there is no failure is recognizing that this is not a good day. All we can do is our best in the moment.