ACoA, Adult Children of Alcoholics

[MajestyJo]

Personal Bill of Rights for Adult Children
I have a right to all those good times that I have longed for
all these years and didn’t get.
I have a right to joy in this life, right here, right now — not
just a momentary rush of euphoria but something more
substantive.
I have a right to relax and have fun in a nonalcoholic and
nondestructive way.
I have a right to actively pursue people, places, and situations
that will help me in achieving a good life.
I have the right to say no whenever I feel something is not
safe or I am not ready.
I have a right to not participate in either the active or passive
“crazy-making” behavior of parents, of siblings, and of others.
I have a right to take calculated risks and to experiment with
new strategies.
I have a right to change my tune, my strategy, and my funny
equations.
I have a right to “mess up”; to make mistakes, to “blow it”, to
disappoint myself, and to fall short of the mark.
I have a right to leave the company of people who deliberately
or inadvertently put me down, lay a guilt trip on me, manipulate
or humiliate me, including my alcoholic parent, my nonalcoholic
parent, or any other member of my family.
I have a right to put an end to conversations with people who
make me feel put down and humiliated.
I have a right to all my feelings.
I have a right to trust my feelings, my judgment, my hunches,
my intuition.
I have a right to develop myself as a whole person emotionally,
spiritually, mentally, physically, and psychologically.
I have a right to express all my feelings in a nondestructive
way and at a safe time and place.
I have a right to as much time as I need to experiment with
this new information and these new ideas and to initiate changes
in my life.
I have a right to sort out the bill of goods my parents sold me;
to take the acceptable and dump the unacceptable.
I have a right to a mentally healthy, sane way of existence,
though it will deviate in part, or all, from my parents' prescribed
philosophy of life.
I have a right to carve out my place in this world.
I have a right to follow any of the above rights, to live my life
the way I want to, and not wait until my alcoholic parent gets
well, gets happy, seeks help, or admits there is a problem.


- - Taken from 12stepforums.net