Wisdom For Today - December

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December 1

Wisdom for Today

When I was active in my addiction, I developed all kinds of unrealistic expectations of others and myself. I expected my parents to bail me out of one jam after another. I expected my wife to put up with my insanity. I expected her to cover for me with my employer. I expected my kids to leave me alone when I wanted to get high or have a drink. I expected my using friends to turn me on even when I had my own secret stash. I expected my friends to buy me a cold beer when I was short of cash. My expectations of myself were no different. I expected no less than perfection. I had to be the perfect party animal. I had to be the perfect husband. I had to be the best drinker. I had to be the best father. All this left me feeling like a complete failure, because there was no way I could ever measure up to my own expectations.

I stopped drinking and using, but my unrealistic expectations continued. I wanted my sponsor to bail me out of one jam after another. I expected my family to restore their trust in me immediately. I wanted my boss to pay me more money. I still expected my kids to leave me alone. My perfectionism didn't just disappear because I was clean and sober. In fact, all these unrealistic expectations had become another character defect. In my fourth step I was forced to begin to look at these defects. I began to see how I continued to self-sabotage the things that were important to me. There was no way I would ever be able to gain self-respect or the trust of others if I hung on to these old ideas and behaviors. Do I see how my expectations of others and myself have become self-destructive?

Meditations for the Heart

Each and every day provides us with an opportunity for progress. It is up to us to make the best use of these opportunities. It is not always easy to see the progress that we make. Each small step we take, and each time we move forward in our recovery effort, we make progress. It all adds up, and over time the progress we make is realized. God sees this progress long before we do. He is there to direct our every step along the path to recovery. It is our Higher Power who presents us with the opportunities for self-improvement. Now we do have a choice: We can refuse to take advantage of these opportunities, or we can forge ahead confident that God is guiding our path. I have found it important to ask myself after meetings, "What is one thing I can do differently that will improve my recovery?" I do not believe God wants me to look for ten things or twenty things to change, only one step at a time. What opportunity have you been given today?

Petitions to my Higher Power

God,
This path of recovery has many twists and turns, yet it is always filled with opportunities for self-improvement. Today help me to let go of my unrealistic expectations of others. Help me also to see that perfectionism only hurts me. Help me to take each opportunity that is offered me and make the best use of each step I take.
Amen.